Chapter Text
I debated just skipping the bar tonight. It wasn’t like I promised Puck that I’d come. The last thing I wanted to do was spend an evening with my coworkers. A mug of tea and rewatching that one movie seemed like a good enough Friday plan. One where no one would bother me.
A long work day was enough of a reason to bail. No one would blame me if I didn’t show up to my grown ass coworkers birthday party. I didn’t even like him. Why would I bother to show up? The only person who bothered to tell me about it was Puck.
I had enough sense to know when I wasn’t welcomed. Had enough shame not to just insert myself. But maybe that’s why they never invited me in the first place. I never asked. I never talked to anyone. I never gave anyone a reason to believe that I would want to. Maybe showing up and proving I could be sociable was what I needed to do.
Eight years and the only person I ever talked to was Puck. I didn’t mind that much. It wasn’t like I was a social butterfly before I moved out here. I preferred to keep to myself but even then, friends were a nice thing to have.
“Fuck it,” I mumbled, reaching for the green turtleneck that laid flat in the drawer. It was already cold and dark out. And if I was going to have a few drinks, I wasn’t going to drive the half a mile home. That left the most logical option, walking there. God knows, I’d need a coat too.
The coast was always colder. The temperature dipped down faster and further than it did in the prairie. Puck always tried to explain it to me. A bunch of meteorological terms that went straight over my head. What I did gather was that as long as we were against the ocean, it was always going to be cold and rainy.
Best leave the porch light on too. One thing I hated about winter was how dark it seemed to get all the time. Dark enough that I would have to use my phone as a flashlight just so I wouldn’t be run over by my neighbor's kid who just got his license. At least until I got closer to downtown. Where the roads were paved and they bothered to put street lights up. I’ve always found it odd how the town seemed to die off after a few streets.
The wind was cold against my face. I should’ve expected that. I knew what time of year it was, how the weather was behaving today, and I still decided to walk to the bar. Half a mile wasn’t that far, after all. It did feel farther when I was walking directly against the wind.
I still didn’t know why exactly I was going in the first place. Not because there was anyone I wanted to talk to. I especially didn’t want to celebrate Alec. I wasn’t particularly hyped about drinking either. Deep down I knew I was going to get there, have one drink, realize that I wasn’t having fun in the slightest, go home, try to watch some movie but at the end of the night end up masturbating.
It was going to be a colossal waste of time. At least an hour all together. I didn’t even like the bar that much. Half the staff always had an attitude. The normal patrons didn’t offer much appeal either. I’d rather just buy a case of beer from the grocery store than be hit on by greasy men and get eye rolls thrown my way whenever I order something.
And despite what Puck might think, I wasn’t going for the prospect of seeing that lady from the convenience store again. Sure, she was beautiful, no one was going to deny it. But I wasn’t going to get my hopes up. The chances that she would also end up in the bar were slim. The chances that she’d be there and also interested in me were nonexistent. In all likelihood, she was probably just passing through.
A woman like that had no business in a place like this. A place that can suck the life out of anyone who didn’t run from it. Even from that short meeting, if you could even call it that, I could tell there was something different about her. She was the type of person that commanded attention just by existing.
One of those beautiful and radiant people who you’d only expect to find in magazines. Like she was a glossy photo I’d obsessively stare at in my friends basement. One that I’d secretly tear and put in my pocket. Hide it in a shoebox beneath my bed or keep it right under my pillow. The type of person I wished I could be when I was a teenager. The type of person I knew I never was.
My mom always told me that I shouldn’t aspire towards beauty. That vanity was a sin and real women didn’t need those fashionable clothes or makeup or anything that my peers showed off in the school halls. It didn’t matter how insecure I was. How frumpy I felt standing next to the other teenagers. How much it hurt when the boys never looked my way. I didn’t even like boys but somehow it still hurt.
I didn’t care as much about it anymore. After I left home, I realized that I never wanted to be that type of woman. I still didn’t bother with the trappings of traditional femininity. Maybe I just stared at the magazines not because I wanted to be that girl but because I wanted to be with that girl. Took a few more years to realize that part.
Not that any of this mattered. She wasn’t going to be at the bar. The night was going to go exactly how I thought it was. I understood that completely as I walked up to the old wood building. The Dock had been there before any of us could remember. Even the people who lived here their whole lives didn’t predate it. In fact, it was a common joke that when it finally shut its doors, the town would officially be abandoned.
Like everything in this town, they stuck to that nautical theme. A colder one than you’d see in those cheesy vacation spots further south but just as cliche. Pieces from old fishing boats. Nets strung around everyone. More pictures of men holding fish than Tinder. And it never had any color. Just various shades of dark brown. It fit in perfectly with everything that surrounded it. God forbid anything stood out.
“Hey, Heather!” Puck called out from the other end of the bar as I walked through the door. From the looks of it, the whole force showed up for the occasion. Surely not everyone liked Alec that much.
“Hi,” I gave an awkward wave as I walked over to the group. From the way everyone else looked at me, it was clear I was the only one who wasn’t actually invited.
“I didn’t think you’d show up,” he commented, turning out slightly to welcome me into the circle that had already formed.
“Oh, I’m not staying long,” I tried to think of any reason to just bail right here and now. Say I was just stopping in on my way to the diner. Go in and get a slice of cherry pie and head right back home. It was too awkward. I just wanted it to be over. “I was just coming in to say hi.”
“I won’t have that,” he shook his head. “At least stay for a drink.”
“If you’re buying,” I shrugged before making my way around the group. The bathroom seemed to be the most logical place to make a run to if Puck wouldn’t let me leave. God knows I didn’t want to make conversation with people who didn’t even bother to hide their annoyance when I showed up.
I honestly don’t know what I expected to happen. If they wanted me to show up, they would’ve told me about it. They never told me about anything. Conversations died down the second I entered the break room. No one cared enough to take the effort to talk to me.
Why did I even care? I didn’t even want to be friends with any of them. Why was I trying not to cry in this cramped stall because they didn’t like me? God, I just wanted to leave. This whole night was a mistake just as I thought it would be. I didn’t even want to walk back out there.
Maybe I could just find a way to sneak out the back. Bribe one of the kitchen staff. Do the full bad date shuffle. But that wouldn’t be nice to the only person who gave a shit about me. He probably already ordered a drink for me. One of those huckleberry ciders that he claimed were ‘too sweet’ despite the fact they were as tart as shit.
“You’re a grown ass woman, Heather,” I mumbled to myself, trying to shake off the feeling. I didn’t need to hide in the bathroom. I didn’t even care about them. I could have one drink and walk my ass back home. I wasn’t so pathetic that I couldn’t even show my face out there.
I shook my head and washed my hands. It didn’t matter in the slightest. The drink sounded good and a slice of cherry pie from the dinner might be just what I needed. All was not ruined because I wasn’t welcomed with open arms to my coworker’s birthday. I hated him anyway.
I walked past them completely on my way back into the bar. Tried to ignore the fact the awkward energy had all but vanished when I did. I just parked myself at the other end and took a quiet breath. As much as I tried not to care about it, it still hurt a deep part of me. A part that was never invited to sleepovers and never got asked to the school dance.
Maybe I was a horrid person to be around. Maybe I just never bothered to make myself pleasant. Maybe I just wanted to go home and masturbate. I didn’t really know as the bartender handed me a glass of that dark purple liquid. All I knew was that I shouldn’t waste what my partner so graciously bought me.
I stared into it like it could give me the answers I was looking for. Answers for questions I didn’t even know I had. I just needed a sign that shit wasn’t going to stay like this. A bird landing on my porch. A beautiful rock hidden in the plain gravel. Some sort of message from god.
The first thing I noticed was her perfume. I thought that I might have been hallucinating when I smelled the cherry pie I had my mind already set on. But then I felt her physical presence as she took the barstool right next to mine.
I tried not to turn my head towards her. Tried to not make it obvious that I noticed her sitting right next to me. I didn’t mean anything. I already had enough disappointment for one night, I shouldn’t get my ridiculous hopes up.
The bartender paid more attention to her than he ever did to me. I guess that’s the benefit of beauty. People treat you better when they think they can get something out of it. God knows that I’ve never been particularly beautiful.
“Just an Empress of the Stars lager please,” she answered his question with a smooth voice. One that was only fitting for a person like her. The bartender hauled ass like I’d never seen him do before. It was almost enough to make me laugh.
She thanked him as he handed her the glass. Lingering around despite the fact one of the deputies was trying to get his attention at the other end of the bar. Took almost a full thirty seconds before he left her alone.
“So, what’s a handsome woman like you doing here all alone?”
“Hmm?” It took me a few seconds to realize that she was talking to me. “Well, there’s nothing much to do around here on a Friday night.”
“I could tell the second I drove in,” she smiled as our eyes met again. “But I’m having a hard time believing that you’re here alone.”
“Well,” I debated whether or not to offload all the issues I’ve been having onto her. Talking about how my coworkers didn’t like me wasn’t exactly flirting material, “my coworker invited me out but got distracted by our other coworkers.”
“I see,” she nodded, looking past me at the group who still crowded the other end of the bar.
“Grown ass man throwing himself a birthday party,” I lowered my voice, just in case they were paying attention to our conversation.
“Oh, I know the type,” she threw her head back laughing. “My name’s Wanda, by the way.”
“Heather,” I returned the introduction. “So what brings you to a shithole like John’s Harbor?”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” she argued. “It has a certain charm to it.”
“That’s how I know you don’t live here,” I shook my head with a laugh. “I can’t count the number of people I’ve seen come here looking for a ‘simpler life’ or trying to find any redeeming quality only to leave after five months.”
“I’m on a field research trip,” she answered. “Ends early July so I’ll just beat those other people.”
“So you’re a scientist?”
“Bio-physicist at McGill,” she nodded.
“Long way from home then?” It was easy to forget everything that I was so hurt over when I was talking to her.
“Long way from Montreal,” she agreed, “but I grew up in Vancouver so I’m closer to home than I usually am.”
“That’s nice,” I hummed. God, she really was beautiful. The more I stared at her face, her striking features, the more entranced I was by her.
“But I have to ask; what brought you to this shithole?” She pointed at me for emphasis.
“Well, I was trying to get away from my family,” I started to explain, “BC seemed far enough away. This place had a detective position open, some property for cheap, so I thought ‘fuck it.’”
“Detective, huh?” She asked, resting her head on her hand.
“Watched a few too many episodes of Twin Peaks in my friend's basement and thought I was Dale Cooper,” I admitted with a laugh. “But I already put years into it and I’m pretty good at my job so…”
“Ain’t nothing wrong with that,” her smile was soft. Almost comforting. “Better excuse than I’ve ever had. God, the amount of things I’ve done just because I wanted to be better than someone else is embarrassing.”
“So I take it you have a competitive streak?”
“I used to,” she shrugged, “been trying to grow past it the last few years. I’m too old to be doing that.”
“Oh you can’t be that old,” I joked, swirling what was left of the deep purple liquid in my glass. I wasn’t a lightweight by any means but I had to admit I was starting to feel it.
“You’d be surprised,” she laughed and put her hand on my arm. I looked over and noticed her nails. They were covered in dark red polish, almost reminiscent of velvet. She kept them short too as if the way she was talking to me wasn’t indication enough. “How’s your cider?”
“Oh, it’s pretty good,” I answered. “I’m not a big beer fan so there aren't many options here.”
“I debated getting it,” she started to explain with a smile, “but I also feel like it’s a sin to be back over here and not get a craft beer.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of more opportunities to try it,” I pointed out. God knows there wasn’t anything else to do in this town. If she was going to be here for the next few months, there were going to be more nights spent here. Maybe I’d spend more nights here too. “But where are you staying?”
“God, I don’t remember the name, but those apartments on the other end of the street,” she tried to explain.
“By the convenience store,” I nodded. “I’m a little familiar with the area.”
“Just a little,” Wanda laughed. “And what about you?”
“Just about half a mile east,” I explained. “Down that gravel road most people use to get into town.”
“Then I must’ve driven past it too,” she joked. “I was so out of it this morning but I do remember seeing the most precious yellow house.”
“That would be mine,” I admitted after I took the last sip of my cider.
“Oh, shut up!” She laughed, putting her hand on my arm again.
“My neighbors hate it but that just gives me more motivation,” I explained. “Worried about property values in a town that’s going to be abandoned before the end of the decade.”
“Life is too short to worry so much about what your neighbors might think.” She pushed up her glasses. Cherry red frames. A more classic style compared to the giant rectangles I was married to. “If I wasn’t so attached to the city, I’d buy a house on the end of a street and paint it the brightest color I could find.”
“That’s the idea,” I sighed. “It just makes me happy every time I see it.”
“That’s good to hear,” she nodded. “What are your plans after this?”
“Well, I was going to walk over to the diner, get a slice of cherry pie, and then I was going to walk all the way home,” I listed off the very loose plans.
“Walking?” She raised her eyebrow at her answer.
“It’s only half a mile away,” I shrugged.
“Half a mile when it’s dark and windy,” her hand was moving further down my arm. Closer to my hand. “Let me drive you.”
“You don’t have to,” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t have walked here if I couldn’t handle it.”
“I don’t think I could live with myself if I just let a handsome woman like you walk home all alone,” she almost whined.
“If you insist,” I rolled my eyes at her dramatic display, “but you should at least let me buy you a slice of pie for the favor.”
“That sounds like a plan to me,” she smiled before sliding off the barstool. There were a lot of things I knew I was. Anti-social, a chronic introvert, a bitch. But if there was one thing I wasn’t, it was naive.
I knew that Wanda didn’t just want to drive me home. I knew that I’d gladly invite her in. I knew that our night wasn’t going to end there. Hell, I hadn’t done something like this in a long time.