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Late afternoon sunlight spilled into the stone courtyard behind the castle, warm and golden against the grey walls of Hogwarts. The autumn air carried the smell of damp grass and old stone, and the distant chatter of students drifted lazily from the open archways.
It was one of those rare quiet hours when nothing urgent existed.
Seven Gryffindors lounged across the low courtyard walls and benches like overgrown cats who had claimed the place as their kingdom.
Sirius Black sat sprawled across the back of a stone bench, boots on the seat, lazily flicking a pebble at James Potter every few seconds. James was leaning against the fountain with his arms folded, pretending not to notice while Remus Lupin read a book beside him.
Peter Pettigrew sat cross-legged on the ground, fiddling with a deck of wizard cards.
Nearby, Lily Evans and Mary Macdonald were sharing a bag of Honeydukes sweets, while Marlene McKinnon stretched out on the grass with Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom arguing over a chess match on a blanket.
Fabian and Gideon Prewett were attempting to balance a butterbeer bottle on the tip of Gideon’s shoe.
Everything was loud, relaxed, and comfortably chaotic.
Until the courtyard door slammed open.
Five tiny first-years came running in like a hurricane.
The Gryffindors barely had time to look up before Regulus Black collided into Sirius.
The eleven-year-old slammed into his brother’s legs and clung to his jacket like a drowning sailor grabbing a rope.
“SI-RI-US!”
Sirius blinked.
Then blinked again.
Because Regulus Black was very small.
He had always been small, but seeing him now—tiny beside a group of fully grown seventeen-year-olds—made it almost comical. His curly black hair was wind-mussed, his cheeks red, his eyes watery.
He looked like he’d run halfway across Scotland.
Behind him, the other four first-years were in absolute chaos.
Dorcas Meadowes stood with her fists clenched, bruised knuckles already purpling as she glared at the ground like she wanted to punch it again.
Evan Rosier stood beside her sniffling loudly, wiping his eyes with both fists while trying very hard to pretend he wasn’t crying.
Barty Crouch Jr. had dropped onto all fours and was literally circling the courtyard like a feral dog.
Pandora Rosier stood humming softly to herself while digging through her bag with unnerving focus.
The Gryffindors stared.
James slowly lowered his glasses.
Remus closed his book.
Mary whispered, “What the hell.”
Peter squeaked.
Barty barked loudly and hopped forward.
“I’LL TAKE CARE OF HER,” he growled. “I’LL TAKE CARE OF THE GIRL.”
He actually bared his teeth.
Frank stared. “Why is he barking.”
“I can hear him barking,” Fabian said.
“That is definitely barking,” Gideon confirmed.
Dorcas huffed and crossed her arms. “He deserves to bark.”
Evan sniffed loudly.
Pandora suddenly looked up and said dreamily, “No, Barty, I want to deal with the girl.”
She continued rummaging through her bag.
“I have experimental potions.”
James choked.
“You have WHAT.”
Meanwhile Regulus was clinging to Sirius like a koala.
“SIRIUS,” he wailed.
The sound instantly wiped the confusion from Sirius’s face.
He dropped his pebble and grabbed his little brother.
“Hey—hey, hey, Reg,” Sirius said softly, immediately crouching down and pulling him close. “Oi, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Regulus was shaking.
Actual tears streamed down his face.
“I NEED YOU TO HELP.”
Sirius wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket and gently pushed his hair back.
“Alright,” he murmured. “Slow down, Reg. Breathe.”
Regulus sniffed loudly.
Sirius rubbed circles on his back.
The rest of the courtyard watched in stunned silence.
Even Barty paused his barking.
Remus muttered quietly, “Merlin, I forgot how small they are.”
Regulus took a deep, shaky breath.
Then he grabbed Sirius’s sleeve again.
“There’s this girl,” he said dramatically.
Sirius blinked.
“A girl.”
“Yes!” Regulus wailed.
Pandora hissed, “She is evil.”
Dorcas cracked her knuckles.
Evan sniffled again.
Barty growled.
Sirius frowned. “Alright. What girl.”
Regulus sniffed and said rapidly, “First, we thought that Babs was so really, really sweet.”
The Gryffindors froze.
Regulus continued desperately, “A new friend to have, and it seemed like such a treat.”
James mouthed silently: Babs?
Regulus pointed back toward the castle.
“But then, we found the truth; she’s just a bully from the east,” he said miserably. “She went from Babs, yeah, to a bully and a beast.”
Mary’s eyes widened.
Lily looked horrified.
Regulus clung tighter to Sirius and said quickly, “Everywhere we turn, she’s just a step ahead. Babs Seed, Babs Seed, what we gonna do?”
He sniffed.
“Got a bully on our tail. Gotta hide, we gotta bail.”
James slowly whispered, “Is he… reciting a report?”
Regulus continued without pause.
“Babs Seed, Babs Seed, if she’s after you, gotta run, we gotta flee.”
Barty nodded aggressively.
“Yes.”
Regulus said urgently, “Gotta hurry, don’t you see? Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she’s just a bad, bad seed.”
Dorcas pointed at her knuckles and said darkly, “I tried punching her.”
Frank nearly choked.
Regulus continued pleading, “Hiding from a bully, we know it isn’t right.”
Remus murmured, “Good, at least he knows that.”
Regulus sniffed and said miserably, “But we aren’t lookin’ for a fight.”
Dorcas scoffed.
Evan sniffled again.
Pandora whispered, “I am looking for a fight.”
She held up a bubbling purple potion.
Gideon leaned away.
Regulus continued quickly, “Oh, she’ll go home soon, and then we’ll have some peace again.”
Then he clutched Sirius tighter.
“But for now, we’re staying out of her way ‘til then.”
Sirius blinked slowly.
James whispered, “This child just delivered a full tactical briefing.”
Regulus continued in one frantic breath.
“Everywhere we turn, she’s just a step ahead. Babs Seed, Babs Seed, what we gonna do?”
Barty growled again.
Regulus said urgently, “Got a bully on our tail. Gotta hide, we gotta bail.”
Mary whispered, “Oh my god.”
Regulus continued.
“Babs Seed, Babs Seed, if she’s after you, gotta run, we gotta flee.”
He looked desperately at Sirius.
“Gotta hurry, don’t you see?”
Then his voice cracked.
“Why so mean? Why so crude?”
The courtyard went quiet.
Regulus looked genuinely heartbroken.
“Why so angry? Why so rude?”
Lily’s expression softened immediately.
Regulus sniffed again and whispered miserably, “Can’t you be nice? Can’t we be friends?”
Alice covered her mouth.
Regulus’s voice wobbled.
“Isn’t it sad? Is this how it all ends?”
Then he buried his face in Sirius’s jacket and wailed, “She’s just a bad, bad seed!”
Silence fell across the courtyard.
James looked at Sirius.
Remus looked at Lily.
Peter whispered, “That’s really sad.”
Dorcas muttered angrily, “She deserved the punch.”
Pandora whispered dreamily, “I could dissolve her.”
Evan sniffled again.
Barty barked.
Sirius slowly stood up.
His expression had changed.
Not playful.
Not confused.
Protective.
Dangerous.
He placed one hand gently on Regulus’s head.
Then he looked at the other four first-years.
Dorcas with her bruised fists.
Evan wiping his face.
Barty crouched like an attack dog.
Pandora clutching potions like weapons.
Then Sirius turned to the rest of the Gryffindors.
James was already grinning.
Marlene cracked her knuckles.
Frank stood up.
Fabian and Gideon exchanged identical grins.
Lily crossed her arms.
Remus sighed.
Peter squeaked, “Oh no.”
Sirius rolled his shoulders slowly.
Then he said very calmly,
“Alright.”
He looked down at Regulus.
“Where’s the girl.”
The courtyard was still quiet after Regulus’s dramatic explanation.
Not peaceful quiet.
The kind of quiet that came when a group of seventeen-year-olds had just been informed that someone had been making their tiny first-year siblings cry.
Which, historically, was a very dangerous kind of quiet.
Regulus was still clinging to Sirius’s jacket.
Actually—no.
Clinging wasn’t the right word anymore.
Now he was bouncing.
“Sirius—Sirius—Sirius—”
The eleven-year-old hopped twice in place like an agitated rabbit before throwing both arms straight up toward his brother.
“Pick me up.”
Sirius didn’t even hesitate.
He bent down, slid an arm under Regulus, and hoisted him up onto his hip like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Regulus immediately wrapped around him like ivy around a statue.
Both arms around Sirius’s neck.
Legs locked around his waist.
Face buried against his shoulder.
He sniffled loudly.
Sirius sighed.
“Alright,” he muttered, adjusting the hold automatically. “There you go.”
Regulus tightened his grip like a terrified monkey.
“She keeps following us!”
Sirius blinked.
“Who?”
“That girl!” Regulus whined. “She keeps showing up everywhere!”
He lifted his head just enough to continue rambling rapidly.
“She followed us out of Charms and then she followed us to the stairs and then she followed us to the courtyard and then she followed us when we tried to go behind the greenhouse and she keeps saying mean things and pushing Evan and laughing at Dorcas and telling Barty he’s weird and she said Pandora’s potions probably explode because she’s stupid—”
Pandora gasped from the ground.
“My potions explode because they are revolutionary.”
Regulus continued breathlessly.
“And she said my hair looks like a nest and she keeps calling us babies and she shoved Evan and she laughed when Dorcas punched her and she said she’d tell the prefects if we hit her again and she just won’t leave us alone!”
Sirius’s eyebrow twitched.
Behind them James muttered quietly, “Oh she is dead.”
Remus sighed. “James.”
But James was already rolling up his sleeves.
Regulus tightened his hold again.
“And you have to help because you’re tall and big and strong and scary and your ugly face is terrifying!”
Sirius froze.
James wheezed.
Fabian doubled over laughing.
Gideon nearly fell off the wall.
“Your ugly face!” Gideon wheezed.
Marlene was cackling.
Mary slapped her hand over her mouth.
Even Lily snorted.
Sirius stared down at the top of Regulus’s head.
“My ugly face?”
Regulus nodded emphatically against his shoulder.
“Yes! It’s scary! She might pee herself!”
James collapsed onto the fountain laughing.
“Merlin—”
Remus pressed his fingers against his forehead.
“Please stop encouraging him.”
Regulus continued earnestly.
“And I want to hide behind you while you deal with it.”
Sirius sighed deeply.
“Of course you do.”
Before he could say anything else—
Four additional bodies slammed into his legs.
Sirius staggered.
“What the—”
He looked down.
Dorcas Meadowes had latched onto his left leg.
Evan Rosier had grabbed the other.
Pandora was clutching the back of his robes.
And Barty Crouch Jr. had wrapped both arms around Sirius’s knee.
They all started whining at once.
“She shoved Evan!”
“She laughed at us!”
“She said I smell weird!”
“I do not smell weird!”
“I’m going to bite her!”
“I will poison her!”
“I already punched her!”
Sirius groaned.
“Oh for Merlin’s sake.”
He looked down at the small pile of clinging children attached to him like barnacles.
“Why are you all touching me.”
Dorcas glared up at him.
“You’re the big brother.”
“That doesn’t make me your big brother.”
Barty barked again.
Pandora hummed.
Evan sniffed loudly.
Sirius rubbed his face with his free hand.
“Get off me.”
None of them moved.
“Get off.”
Still nothing.
He pointed down at them.
“You four are like baby hippos.”
James lost it again.
“Baby hippos—”
Sirius continued sternly.
“Large. Loud. And clinging to my legs.”
Dorcas scowled but didn’t let go.
Barty tightened his grip.
Pandora leaned her head against Sirius’s back.
Evan sniffled harder.
Sirius sighed.
“I don’t mind him,” he muttered, jerking his head toward Regulus, who was still glued to his shoulder.
“But the rest of you—off.”
They slowly peeled away.
Except Barty.
Barty remained attached to Sirius’s knee.
Sirius looked down.
“…you too.”
Barty released him reluctantly.
The courtyard erupted into quiet murmuring.
James stepped forward, stretching his arms.
“Well,” he said cheerfully, “guess we’re hunting a bully.”
Frank nodded.
“Absolutely.”
Marlene cracked her knuckles.
“Where is she.”
Mary crossed her arms.
“No one makes eleven-year-olds cry.”
Alice nodded firmly.
Fabian grinned.
“Especially not Sirius’s eleven-year-old.”
Gideon added, “That’s basically a declaration of war.”
Remus sighed again but stood anyway.
“Well,” he said tiredly, “someone should probably make sure this doesn’t escalate into… violence.”
James grinned.
“Too late.”
Lily stepped forward and looked directly at Regulus.
“Where is she, Reg?”
Regulus sniffed again and buried his face back in Sirius’s shoulder.
“She was near the courtyard entrance.”
Sirius adjusted his grip on his brother.
Regulus clung tighter.
“Don’t put me down,” he mumbled.
“I wasn’t planning to.”
Pandora lifted her potion bottle thoughtfully.
Dorcas cracked her knuckles again.
Barty dropped back to all fours.
Evan wiped his eyes.
The Gryffindors started moving toward the archway.
James rolled his shoulders.
Marlene grinned dangerously.
Fabian and Gideon were whispering excitedly.
Frank looked determined.
Alice looked furious.
Mary looked ready to lecture someone into the ground.
Lily’s eyes had narrowed.
Remus muttered, “This is going to be a disaster.”
Sirius walked at the front of the group with Regulus still clinging to him.
The smaller boy peeked over his shoulder nervously.
Then he whispered into Sirius’s ear,
“…do you think she’ll pee herself?”
Sirius smirked.
“Let’s find out.”