Archive of Our Own

Hayden Pike

Today 9:15 AM
Hey, do you want to hang out with me after practice tomorrow?

Jackie is taking the kids to her mom’s until after first round starts, so I’ve got the house to myself for a few days.

God, I desperately miss your fucking cock.

Uhhhh….

Did your phone get hacked or something?

What?

You just sent me a weird message.

Oh.

Fuck.

I have no idea what that is?

I definitely didn’t send that.

So crazy what hackers can do these days.

Like why would I be talking about missing male genitalia?

Because I like girls.

So much.

Okay. Yeah, you might want to get that checked out.

For sure. Yeah, I’ll have to do that after practice tomorrow.

So, I can’t hang out.

For a while, probably.

Yeah, I completely understand.

You good?

Yeah! Totally.

Never better.

I think I might go on a date with a girl or something I feel so good.

Just stressed on account of the hackers.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

See you.

Ilya ❤️

Today 9:42 AM
Ilya.

Oh my god. Shit.

FUCK.

ILYA.

You’re literally on your phone all the time, why are you not answering me now

Good morning 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Seriously? I’m in full blown crisis over here.

I fucked up so badly, and I’m about two seconds away from full blown panic.

Shane. Just make yourself another smoothie with protein powder this time. It is not a big deal.

This isn’t about fucking protein powder!

I sent Hayden a text that said I’m desperately missing your cock.

Oh. That is unfortunate.

Understatement of the entire universe.

Shane, I understand being attracted to other people, but Hayden Pike? I am sad to say this might be a deal breaker for me.

It wasn’t meant for Hayden, it was meant for you, idiot!

😈

Hollander. Sexting before 10 am. I didn’t know you had it in you.

Oh my god, can you be serious for once in your life?

I just sent a message about wanting cock

To my straight best friend

Who doesn’t know I’m gay.

FUCK.

What do I do?

Ilya. Help. I’m freaking out.

Really? I could not tell.

ILYA.

Sweetheart. This is Hayden. If he has not figured it out by now, there is a good chance he still has no idea.

You really think so?

No.

But with Hayden, there’s always more than a 25% chance.

FUUCCKKKK.

Shane. Is it such a big deal if Hayden knows?

YES.

Probably.

I don’t know. I just. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him.

Well, how did you want to tell him?

Fuck if I know.

But definitely not by accidentally sexting him about YOUR dick.

God, I’m never sexting you again.

Okay, let’s not make any rash decisions just yet.

Why don’t you just talk to him? He is your friend. He loves you, and you love him for reasons I cannot fathom.

I don’t think I’m ready.

Not after this.

And what if he starts asking questions about who I was talking to?

You can tell him about me. I do not care. It might help you not be so on edge.

I’m not on edge!

My love. You have been on the edge your entire existence.

Fuck. Can you come here?

I’m FREAKING out. I need you.

But I thought we weren’t going to see each other until you were done with playoffs?

Playoffs are going to be over real fucking quick if I can’t calm myself down.

You think so little of your team’s ability to play without you?

Well, am I wrong?

No. I just love it when you are cocky.

Please, Ilya.

I am already on my way.

I started packing a bag as soon as you told me what happened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy-MLb1a4yc

What is that?

My career highlights.

You can jerk off to them until I get there.

God, you’re an asshole.

I love you so much.

Thank you.

My Wife- Jackie

Today11:07 AM
Babe.

...do you think Shane could be gay?

Definitely.

Wait, seriously?

Yeah, I’ve suspected for years.

But why do you think so all of a sudden?

Okay, we have to come back to that but.

I got a message from him that I don’t think was meant for me…

What did it say?

You’re going to make me type it out?

Hayden, you’re thirty years old. Type out the message. It can’t be that bad.

Something about missing a cock desperately.

Shut up.

Shane has a boy toy?!

Ew.

I love that for him SO much.

I always thought he could benefit from sex on the regular.

EW.

Do you have any idea who it is?

No, I don’t have any idea who it is! I didn’t even know he was gay!

GASP. Do you think it’s another player?!

Can we stop talking about my best friend’s sex life for just a second and go back to the fact that he’s GAY and I had no idea?

Is it a problem that he’s gay?

NO. Jesus fuck. Jackie, I’m not that much of an idiot.

I just don’t get why he didn’t tell me.

I can think of a few million reasons.

And they start with National and end with Hockey League.

It’s not that bad. Scott Hunter came out.

Yeah, but it’s more complicated for Shane, I think.

And it’s still pretty bad.

I’ve heard how you all talk in the locker room.

Hey, I don’t participate in that homophobic stuff.

At least I try not to.

I know, but if you’re not calling it out, maybe Shane thinks you’re okay with it.

You think that’s why he hasn’t told me?

Maybe. I’m sure there’s a lot of layers to it.

I feel shitty he didn’t think he could tell me.

I thought he trusted me more than that.

I don’t think it’s about trust.

You’re his best friend.

I think it’s just the environment you’re in.

So what do I do?

Should I tell him I know?

NO.

Do not do that.

He deserves to be able to tell you in his own time.

Just do your best to make him feel comfortable around you, and I’m sure he’ll tell you eventually. Be a safe space for him.

I can do that.

I wish I was there to help you! But I’m sure you can handle it.

Don’t worry. I’ve totally got this.

Hayden Pike

Today 5:28 PM
Hey my offer to hangout still stands if you’re up for it.

Sorry, Hayd. I’m honestly not feeling very good.

Sorry to hear that.

Did you see that article about the PWHL players getting married?

No.

Pretty cool.

Lesbians for the win.

Maybe the NHL will have players get married some day.

Why do you say that?

Who could possibly get married in our league?

I dunno. Just surely Scott Hunter can’t be the only gay guy right?

Yeah. Probably not.

Have you ever been to that Le Stud bar?

No.

It looks really cool. Maybe we could go sometime.

You do know that’s a gay bar, right?

Yeah! Totally could see myself hanging out there.

That’s interesting.

I’m just full of surprises you know.

I was thinking about watching Brokeback Mountain today. Have you ever seen it?

I don’t think so.

I’ve heard it’s really good.

Plus, Jake Gyllenhaal is nice to look at.

Uh, sure?

I don’t think I ever said congrats on winning that Cosmo thing about being the hottest NHL player by the way.

Oh. Well. Not exactly something I need to be congratulated on.

It was deserved! Your body is sick.

And your face is not at all bad looking.

Like I get it. Why everyone is attracted to you.

Um.

Thanks?

I mean there’s other hot guys in the league, but their personalities suck.

Barrett and Rozanov for instance.

But not you. You’re the complete package.

I don’t think I would go that far…

Either of those idiots would be so lucky to date you if they were gay.

Wow. Okay. Thanks. I think.

Hey, I’m really not feeling well, so I’m going to go rest a bit.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

Bye, buddy.

Hope you feel better!

Ilya ❤️

Today 6:11 PM
Do you think there’s any way Hayden might be attracted to me?

I think most men are not nearly as straight as they would like to be.

And you are very sexy so.

Yes.

Do I want to know why you ask?

I just had the weirdest conversation with him.

Weirder than normal?

Incredibly. He talked about PWHL players getting married.

Said he wanted to watch Brokeback Mountain.

And then he asked me to go hang out with him at a gay bar before he went on about me winning that Cosmo thing and said my body was sick and that he thought you and Troy Barrett would be lucky to date me if you were gay?

LOL

I knew he was an idiot, but this is something else.

What do you mean?

I think he is just trying to tell you he’s fine with you being gay.

He is just very bad at it.

Oh.

You think so?

God, I hope you’re right.

That would be a huge relief.

It is almost sweet when you don’t think about how badly he fucked up what he was trying to do.

He’s a good friend.

Maybe I should just tell him?

About me.

If he was actually trying to make me feel better, he’s clearly okay with it.

I think you should.

And you can tell him about us, too.

Really?

He is a good friend to you.

And I’m sure he’s a good guy underneath the mediocre hockey player.

I think it would be fine.

Wow. That’s high praise from you.

Yes, well.

Maybe I happen to have a soft spot for boring hockey players and their dumbass best friends.

He said you had a terrible personality.

Nevermind.

He’s dead to me.

I am your only friend now.

Ugh. I think I’ve been making myself sick with this.

I’ve felt so shitty since you left. My stomach won’t stop hurting.

Get some rest sweetheart.

You have a Stanley Cup to lose.

You’re lucky I love you.

The luckiest ❤️

My Wife- Jackie

Today 7:28 PM
How’s Shane? Has he said anything?

No. He was really weird still at practice today. Even after I bent over backwards trying to make him feel comfortable.

...I’m almost afraid to ask what you mean by that?

It wasn’t anything crazy.

I just mentioned some gay stuff and he didn’t catch on.

What gay stuff?

An article about PWHL players getting married. Watching Brokeback Mountain. Going to a gay bar with him. Why I totally understood how he won that Cosmo poll for hottest player.

I’m sorry.

You WHAT?

What? What’s wrong with that?

You told me to create a safe space for him.

How else was I supposed to do that?

Oh, I don’t know. Literally any other way than combining every cliche gay thing a straight person knows about?!

What do you mean?

I was just letting him know I was cool with it!

By asking him to go to a gay bar and telling him why you understand how hot he is?

Well, when you put it that way it sounds really bad.

Because it is! That’s some next level mixed messages you sent that poor man.

You don’t think he thought I was saying I was gay do you?

Shane’s smarter than you so probably not.

Rude.

But he’s also oblivious, so who knows.

Well fuck.

Well, fuck indeed.

What do I do now?

Double down on how straight I am?

NO.

But I don’t want him to get the wrong idea!

I mean, he’s clearly getting dicked down on the reg, so I don’t think you’re in immediate danger of him falling in love with you.

So, I just do nothing.

Yes.

I know it’s crazy, but that should always be an option for you.

You’ve stressed that poor man out enough as it is.

He kept saying he didn’t feel well today.

Do you think it’s because of me?

I would place bets on it.

Thanks for that vote of confidence.

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I know you’re not gay, and I love you very much even when you do stupid things.

You had me up until that last part.

❤️

Just sit still.

We’ll figure it out after you win the cup, okay?

Okay.

And for what it’s worth, I think you should have been in that Cosmo poll.

But not at the top?

Well. I think it’s important we be realistic 😉

Shane 😘❤️❤️❤️😘🍆

Today 10:52 AM
Hey this is Hayden Pike

I have Shane’s phone, he collapsed at practice and we’re on our way to the hospital

He asked me to text you.

Where are you taking him?

Is he awake?

Yes he’s awake. Just in a lot of pain from something in his stomach

And we’re going to MUHC.

Tell him I’m coming.

Please let me know if you find anything out.

Please.

I will.

I hope your driving skills are better than your hockey ones.

You know, I am just freaked out enough to almost find that funny.

My Wife- Jackie

Today 4:17 PM
How’s it going? Any updates?

They definitely think its appendicitis.

So, he’ll be having surgery later today probably.

Which means he’s out for playoffs.

But he’s on drugs now, so he’s pretty loopy, which would be funny except…

Except what?

You know that secret boy toy Shane has?

Yeah?

Well. I’m currently sitting in an ER room with Shane

And Ilya Rozanov.

NO.

I’m watching him altnerate between stroking Shane’s hair and kissing his forehead every few minutes while saying things in Russian Shane seems to understand and be really fucking happy about.

WHAT

NO.

Hayden. You better not be playing with me.

Why would I joke about that?

I literally saw them kiss each other.

And not in a bro-y kind of way…

Ilya Rozanov is Shane’s secret sex partner?!

This is the best day of my life.

Wow. I thought maybe our wedding would be the best day of your life.

I mean, it’s up there but. HOLY SHIT.

Yeah…

I don’t know how to process this.

It’s a lot to process.

But what are they like? Like does it make SENSE when you see them?

I bet they look amazing together. God.

Do they seem like they’ve been together awhile?

And what has Shane said?!

Did he say anything or did the drugs kick in before you could talk?

Jesus, Jackie.

Sorry. I’m just so happy about this.

Why are you so happy about it?!

If Shane’s happy why wouldn’t I be happy?

I dunno. Maybe because It’s Ilya Rozaonv?!

Like he could have had ANYONE and he’s with Ilya fucking Rozanov.

And now I’m having to rewrite so many things in my head.

It’s just weird.

I get that.

We’ve spent our entire careers hating that guy.

I think hate and love aren’t always that far apart from each other.

He does seem really happy though.

He’d been on edge the whole time until Rozanov showed up.

And Rozanov is being so soft with him?

It’s fucking weird.

Oh. Wow.

So it’s not just a secret sex thing then.

Fuck if I know.

They’re so wrapped up in each other, I don’t even think they realize I’m still here half the time.

🥹 Oh my god. They love each other.

I don’t think we need to assume that yet.

Well, what did Shane say? Did he talk to you at all?

Kind of. He tried. Said he had a lot to explain, but I told him we could talk later.

Dammit, Hayden. Why do you have to be a good friend when I NEED information?

So sorry to disappoint.

Hey. I know this is weird for you.

And I’m sure it hurts that he’s kept this giant thing from you.

But I think it’s important to recognize that when it mattered, he didn’t hesitate to include you in it.

He asked you to contact Ilya Rozanov, when he could have easily just have waited to tell him later. But he trusted you with that. And wants you there with both of them.

Yeah. I guess you’re right.

Still gross though.

Hayden.

Not because they’re gay!

Because it’s Rozanov!

Just checking.

Well, I’ll let you go, but keep me updated, and remember, he’s on painkillers and would probably very willingly answer any questions you have ❤️

I’ll see what I can do.

I’m counting on you!

He Who Shall Not Be Named

Today 9:25 AM
This is Rozanov.

I got your number from Shane because I wanted to thank you.

He said you were a huge help to him and that you kept him calm and didn’t push about anything.

You’re a good friend to him, and I appreciate it.

Are you being held at gunpoint or something?

Unfortunately, no.

This is all just my annoying conscience.

Oh. Well.

You’re welcome, I guess.

Not like I did it for you though.

He’s my best friend. Of course I was going to help him.

Right.

Well.

Thank you again.

Just because you’re dating him doesn’t mean I have to like you.

No it doesn’t.

But I love him. More than I have ever loved anyone.

And I hope you can respect the importance I have in his life.

I’ll try.

It’s the least you can do, really.

I have come to accept you, afterall, and that is much harder.

It has taken years of intense work.

Fuck you, Rozanov.

Just wanted to make sure you weren’t getting too close to me.

That will never happen.

Good luck in playoffs. I’m sure you’ll disappoint everyone.

At least my team made it to the playoffs.

Oof. I am mortally wounded by that jab. How will I ever recover?

🖕

Shane 😘❤️❤️❤️😘🍆

Today 9:57 AM
I love you so much.

I know this, but I’m curious why picking up clothes at my house led to you telling me?

Because I just willingly talked with Hayden Pike. Told him thank you.

It was beyond difficult.

Clearly it is a sign of devotion to you.

That must have been really painful for you.

You have no idea.

I’ll be sure to make it up to you whenever I’m not recovering from my insides betraying me.

I’ll be looking forward to that 😈🍆🍑💦💦💦🍑🍑🍑🍆🍆💦🍑

I’m going to find a way to disable emojis on your phone.

How did your talk with Hayden go?

Fine. I can tell he does not like me, but this is nothing new.

I think it’s probably just a lot to take in.

Yes. First you traumatized him. Then me.

Though I am not sure he is not attracted to you anymore considering the glares he gave me in the ER.

I think that’s just his general reaction to you as a person.

Are you going to talk to him soon?

Yeah. But the first game is today, and I don’t want to distract him.

But maybe you not talking with him is more of a distraction than if you did.

Stop making sense and get back here so you can take me back to Ottawa and wait on me hand and foot.

You say it like I will not want to do that.

I am very much looking forward to it. I have never gotten to take care of you.

You take care of me all the time 😉

Shane Hollander. Do you ever think about anything other than sex?

You’re one to talk.

You just had surgery!

I had my appendix removed, not my dick.

How quickly you abandon your no sexting rule 😉

That wasn’t sexting!

It was harmless innuendo.

So you’d send that message to Hayden then?

Shut up.

Get back here soon.

I love you.

Love you too 😘

Shane!

Today 8:45 AM
Hey, cutie.

How are you? Are you feeling better?

Getting there. Still a little sore, but I can move around better now.

How bummed are you about playoffs?

A lot. But honestly, it’s been really nice just being with Ilya.

We don’t get a lot of time together.

I bet! I’m glad you’re getting the chance to just rest.

How are things without Hayden around?

Well. I had an idea, and you can totally tell me no, but the kids and I are going stir crazy with Hayden being on the road, and we were wondering if we could come visit?

The kids have been really worried about you.

And me too.

Actually, yeah, it’d be nice to have visitors if you’re sure you’re willing to make the drive?

I can just surround myself with pillows so they don’t accidentally hurt me.

And Ilya loves kids, so he’ll have more fun than they will.

Oh, will Ilya be there? 😇

You think you’re so clever.

I know I am.

I figured you were coming to make me feel guilty about not talking to Hayden yet.

I mean, that too, but it’s kind of secondary to meeting your boyfriend.

He’s pretty wonderful despite what your husband has probably told you.

Trust me, I have zero faith in Hayden’s ability to judge who is good enough for you considering he had no idea you were gay until a week ago.

You knew?!

Suspected.

For how long?

Years.

Shit.

We have a lot to talk about.

Indeed we do, my friend.

But only if you’re ready!

Might as well get it over with while I’m captive here.

Like it’s some great hardship being holed up with your super hot Russian boyfriend.

Wait till you see him up close in person.

Oh, I plan on objectifying him as much as I can.

See you soon ❤️

Today 8:13 PM
Shane.

I LOVE him.

He’s hilarious and hot and kind and hot and good with kids and hot.

And so fun. And so in love with you.

Would it be weird if I asked him to go get pedicures?

He’d probably love that a little too much, honestly.

He seems like he was born to be a WAG and forced to play hockey instead.

He jokes about retiring early a lot and being my trophy husband.

But I think he’s only half joking most of the time.

You have no idea how happy I am about this.

I’m glad I have your approval at least.

Like you needed it!

No, but it means a lot to me. You’re my best friend, too. It’s so nice you know now.

I’m so happy for you ❤️

I hate that you have to hide, but I get it. And I’m in your corner no matter what.

Thank you.

And you know who else is happy for you, even if he sucks at showing it?

I know. I know.

I’ll talk to him. Soon.

Good!

And hey.

Loving Ilya Rozanov looks really good on you.

Thanks, Jackie.

I’ve felt that way for a long time. It’s just nice to be able to show it every once in a while.

Shane Hollander

Today 10:22 AM
Hey.

Hey.

You all have been playing like shit. What WAS that last night?

That tends to happen when your captain has to have an organ removed right before playoffs.

Sorry about that.

So.

So?

You’re gay.

I am.

And fucking Ilya Rozanov.

Yeah.

But it’s more than that. It has been for a long time.

And that message you sent me?

Was definitely meant for him.

We'd decided not to see each other while I was in the playoffs.

Did he move here for you?

Yes.

Fuck, Shane.

This is a lot.

I know.

I’m really sorry.

I should have told you sooner.

No, it’s not that.

Listen we don’t have to have this big giant feelings session unless you just want to.

Not especially.

I’m fine with all of it. More than fine.

Like, I wish it wasn’t Rozanov, but whatever rocks your socks off or whatever.

Gee thanks.

I just want you to feel like you can come to me with this shit.

I do. Honestly.

This is just a huge secret and we’ve been trying to protect it as much as we can.

But I think I’ve also been shutting out people who would protect it with me, and I’m sorry for that.

I love you, man.

I love you, too.

But please don’t feel like you EVER need to go on and on about my looks or how sick my body is ever again.

I was just trying to make you feel comfortable!

Mission not accomplished, dude.

Sorry.

And Brokeback Mountain? Christ, Hayden.

I’m sorry! It was the only gay movie I could think of.

I am making you go to Le Stud, though.

Like you actually have any desire to go to a gay bar.

No, but my desire to see YOU in a gay bar far outweighs my lack of desire to go to one myself.

Fuck you.

Hey. Go win a fucking game please?

Act like you know how to play without me even for one period.

You know I won’t.

Dinner with all of us when this is over?

Absolutely.

Ilya ❤️

Today 2:03 PM
Hey, guess what?

You are madly in love with your archrival and secretly planning the rest of your life with him under the guise of friendship so the professional hockey league does not find out and ruin everything?

😑

Yes.

But also no.

I am all out of ideas.

I got cleared at the doctor today.

It’s now safe for me to do any number of very, very gay things with you.

😈🏳️‍🌈🍆🍑💦🍑🍆🍆💦🍑🏳️‍🌈 😈

My schedule is cleared for the rest of my life.

Well, it will be after dinner.

Hayden and Jackie are coming over remember?

🤬

Of course I would get cock blocked by Hayden Pike.

You’d better be on your best behavior, or I will be the one cock blocking you for eternity.

I would believe you, but I know you would suffer just as much as me.

You vastly underestimate my ability to be petty.

You vastly underestimate my ability to make your dick hard.

Ilya.

FINE.

But you owe me so big for this.

How about the rest of my life is yours?

It’s a good starting place.

Luvers + Hayden

Today 4:23 PM
Hayden
Is there anything you need us to bring when we head to the cottage tomorrow?
Earplugs.
Shane, come downstairs. I’m desperately missing your cock.
Shane
Ilya.
Hayden
For fuck’s sake, Rozanov.
Oh, I am sorry. Is that not what this chat is for?
Hayden
Jackie, I can hear you laughing in the other room.
Jackie
What?! It’s not my fault you two don’t recognize how hilarious Ilya is.
Jackie is my only true friend.
Jackie
It’s why I’m your favorite ❤️
You should divorce Hayden and we can leave these two idiots to their own devices.
Shane
Weren’t you just talking about missing my cock?
Hayden
GOD. Stop. I am banning that word.
🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆
Hayden
And stop thinking about running away with my wife! You’re supposed to be in love with Shane.
Bisexual privilege.
And I don’t see what you are complaining about Hayden.
I figured you’d be thrilled since you think Shane’s body is so sick.
Hayden
Shane, you traitor.
Why did you tell him that?!
He tells me everything.
Shane
It’s true.
Hayden
TRAITOR.
Shane
Sorry! He’s my one weakness. I can’t help it.
😘
Hayden
Now that Rozanov has made me physically sick, can we get back to my original fucking question. Is there anything we need to bring?
Shane
Just yourselves.
We’re excited for you to be here.
Bring earplugs.
Hayden
Why? It’s in the middle of nowhere.
I think you know why.
🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆🐓🍆
Hayden
Jesus.
Can’t you just NOT for three days?
Says the man with four children.
Jackie
Touché.
And also, no. We cannot.
Shane
Yeah. Probably not.
Hayden
Okay nevermind. Trip cancelled.
I’m going to spend my time instead looking for someone else for Shane to date.
Jackie
We’ll see you boys soon ❤️
Shane
Drive safe! Let us know when you get on the road.
Bring earplugs, Hayden!
I am being very serious, Hayden!
You will regret it if you don’t, Hayden!
Hayden
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕