Chapter Text
5:30 AM.
Fuck life.
The alarm beeping annoyingly in the background while I still clung to the rest of the peaceful sleep I just had. The dream I just woke up from was rather pleasant, especially considering that it involved a specific handsome young man with soft blonde hair, baby blue eyes and a sleepy smile that could disintegrate your panties in mere seconds.
It also just started to get reeeeeeally good… When Xavier whispered "That's my good girl…" into my ears but yeah, of course that's where the alarm clock decided "It is time for you to wake up so you can crawl your way into work." Just like every damn day.
Seriously… If the pay wasn't as good as it is, I would consider calling in sick just so I'd be able to pull my blanket up again and to lose myself back into the dream and back into the arms of the man in it. But….
The harsh reality is that that's all it is. A dream.
Never being able to actually fall into Xavier's protective arms and the realization of it, is what makes me get up in the end. Stifling a yawn and looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand again. 5:34 AM… For real, who thought that this was an appropriate time to force people to wake up and get ready for work? Must've been someone whose dreams truly suck because it never could be me…
Grabbing the phone off the nightstand and being momentarily blinded by the harsh light from it I check my notifications and at least there is something pleasant to wake up to because… First of all there is an Email from Love and Deepspace waiting for me in my folder, announcing the next Multi-banner drop. And to top that off? My favorite author just dropped a new chapter for the fic I've been reading since a few weeks and it has been pretty damn good.
At least it was a good kind of distraction when work became dull and boring and I had way too much time at hand to do stuff. So reading smutty and dirty fanfics all day it was!
Seriously, if I ever died a gruesome death then I need someone to delete my search history ASAP because NOBODY should see what exactly I looked up, my mum would get a heart attack if she actually gave two fucks about me. Well if she gave two fucks about me outside of me financing her daughters therapy which I am paying for…
Honestly I have no idea why I even do that but blaming my little 12 year old sister for all the shit her mum put me through? Wouldn't be fair. And I do love that little shit, even though we don't see each other as often anymore.
Well nothing to be done about it as I crawl out of my bed and into my bathroom, trying to get ready for the day as best as I can. Putting on my literal warpaint so to speak because that Office? Yeah, that was a fucking battlefield everyday.
At the time I got out of the house the city was already bustling with people, some going to work, some spending their mornings running (who the fuck would go for a run that early?!) and people sitting at small cafe's and spending their hard earned money on a 10$ Matcha Latte that tasted as shitty as it sounded.
Rueville truly was the big picture perfect city after all, even considered as one of the "richest" cities there was on earth.
Not surprising seeing that most of the people who lived here worked for the government or something equally important.
The traffic on the way to work was as busy as expected but nothing the good ol' headphones couldn't fix. Since I also had more then enough time today I decided to stop by the cute coffee shop near our Office to get myself a cappuccino before clocking into work, caffeine was ALWAYS a good idea anyway.
And it seems like today truly is my lucky day because the handsome and cute barista stands behind the counter, looking up and smiling brightly when I entered the shop, the little bell at the door announcing my arrival.
"Good morning Lil! Your usual order?" Ben beamed when addressing me.
Seriously, how can someone be that happy and all sun-shiny when it's that early?
But he looks exactly like someone would imagine sunshine as a person. Unruly copper hair, freckles and a cute smile. He also works out if the muscles in his arms and his broad shoulders are anything to go by. Overall a very good looking guy, buuuuuuut I already had a boyfriend, even though he didn't contact me for a whole week like the asshole he is.
"Good morning Ben! Yeah please and add some extra creamer for me today, 'kay?"
There are a bunch of free tables so I pick one at the window looking out on the streets while I wait for my order, grabbing my phone again.
It's not that I am an impatient person but… Just reading a bit before work wouldn't be so bad… right?
Calloused hands gripped my waist before hoisting me up, forcing my legs to hook around his hips, a cocky grin on his lips before tilting his head slightly.
"What's the matter, pips? Can't keep on holding on? Should we get Raf to help you stay steady, hm?" Caleb muses before dipping his head, taking your earlobe between his teeth and pulling slightly, earning himself a small hiss from you, your nails clawing at his shoulders.
"C-Caleb… Seriously… I can't…" is all you manage to breathe out before another pair of hands slithered around your waist from behind, cupping your breasts over your shirt.
"You can't what exactly, kitten?" Sylus purrs into your other ear from behind before rolling your ni-….
"Your cappuccino with extra creamer today Lil, anything else I can get you?" Ben's voice is like a dose of cold water, pulling me out of my rather hot daydream induced by the fic.
Fuck, for how long has he been standing here?!
Flustered I look up at him and give him my most sincere "I haven't read a smutty poly fic in your café, I swear!" look I can muster before shaking my head.
"Nah, I am all good with just coffee for now but thank you though. I don't think I could survive without your extraordinary coffee skills." That earns me a chuckle from the man who still stands by my table, smiling down on me.
"You're welcome Lil. If you need anything else, just drop by later."
He seriously is too damn nice for his own good but before I can answer him, the door bell rings out again, announcing another customer.
Looking from Ben to the door it takes a solid second for my heart to drop down into my literal pants because no other than Noah, my lovely boyfriend walks into the café, his eyes immediately finding mine before looking over to Ben.
The distaste in his eyes is more than obvious and I really have to hold myself back from rolling my eyes. Here we go again….
"Hey Babe, didn't know you were grabbing coffee before work. Could've asked me if I wanted one as well, y'know? Or are you too busy to talk to your boyfriend nowadays?"
Great. Seems like my luck finally has run out for today because for real? He ignores me for a whole damn week only to barge in here acting like the smug asshole he is and all that just because he's jealous?
I never understood why exactly he becomes jealous in the first place when he is literally the one to ignore me for days or to stand me up on our date nights.
I am literally the most normal looking girl there is, compared to some of those dolled up barbies in our departments, so yeah. Why he gets so jealous is truly beyond me.
"Well if you would've answered me the last few days I might even would've considered it." This earns me a sharp glare from him which he smoothed out perfectly before Ben realizes he even did it.
"I was just busy, babe. You know how stressful work can be as a team leader."
Yeah I am not gonna entertain this discussion in the only place in this god damn city where I feel somehow at ease. Nope, not happening.
So I grab my coffee from the table and give Ben an apologizing look which he only answers with a shake of his head, already moving to get back behind the counter.
"Thank you again Ben! See you next time."
"Bye bye Lil, have a good day at work!"
Yeah sure, as if a day at work could ever be good, especially after this disastrous encounter with Noah, who's following me out of the café without sparing Ben another glance, I can practically feel his stare in my neck.
The bell rings again as me and my lovely boyfriend exit the building while I already turn around the corner, heading for our office building, but the peace I hoped for isn't coming anytime soon because Noah decides to open up his mouth, his voice betraying his annoyance.
"Seriously Lilian? I am not answering you for a week because of my work and you turn around flirting with the fucking barista? Are you that desperate for my attention or just intend to piss me off on a Tuesday?"
The way my jaw is clenching should be considered dangerous, at least that's what my dentist would tell me. I take a few breaths to collect myself because I am NOT gonna yell at him in the middle of the fucking streets but he's really testing my patience here.
"Are you for real now, Noah?! You literally stood me up last weekend and didn't even tell me why because you ignored me all week and for what? For you to blame ME for everything?! I was literally getting a coffee for fucks sake."
"Oh yeah and getting a coffee involves the barista nearly sitting on your fucking lap or undressing you with his eyes, sure Lilian." He scoffs. Fucking. Scoffs.
"You know what? I am not gonna have this discussion with you right now." That's all I am saying before turning and walking towards the Office again, I can hear him stomping after me and muttering something beneath his breath which sounds awfully like "arrogant" and "bitch" but I am not paying any mind to him right now.
My day started out so good and I'll be damned if I let him ruin it again… Okay who am I kidding, he already did.
I swear to god, this printer is out on a personal mission to piss me off today.
As if this morning wasn't enough to dampen my mood, Noah didn't say another word to me as we arrived at the Office. He only stepped into the elevator taking him up to his floor, leaving me with some kind of peace at least.
The first two hours went by without any issue whatsoever, that was until Sandra came up to my desk and asked me to print out those finance plans for the upper department so they can continue their meeting.
That's how I ended up standing here like a dumb kid, staring down the printer as if it personally offended me, which it kinda did to be honest here. First it told me the paper ran out, nobody filled it up, so I did. Then it was the paint being empty, so I changed the fucking printer capsule.
And now?
It just straight up won't print the handouts, leaving me to wait for the technician to come up here and check what's wrong with this thing.
I sigh heavily before pinching the bridge of my nose, might as well go grab another coffee in the office kitchen next door while I wait.
Turning around the corner I hear multiple voices in the kitchen, which makes me stop dead in my tracks. One of the voices belonging to Alice, one of the Office barbies I was talking about earlier.
It's not that her appearance is my issue, it's more of the fact that she is one of the many girls who fawn over Noah and shamelessly flirt with him while I am literally standing beside them, happened more than once.
So staying out of the kitchen I can't help but eavesdrop on their conversation, I am nosy, what can I say?
"Can we talk about the fact that Lilian looks like shit again? Like, I really don't get how Noah stays with her when he can definitely do WAY better than her. Her makeup doesn't match at all and if that's what she calls an eyeliner then I am the pope."
The two other girls in the kitchen giggle and I can't even remember their names, only that they belong to Alice's little group of bitchy girlfriends. Let's call them diddle-dumb and diddle-dumber for good measure.
Though her words still cut deep, because I just know that she is right, that's what pisses me off even more.
I am not some rich girl with all those high-end makeup products or designer clothes at home.
Since most of my income goes straight towards my mothers account, there is hardly enough left for myself after paying all my other bills, including rent for my small living place.
Not that any of them would know, not even Noah knows where my money goes, he still believes I have huge debts to pay off and I rather keep him believing that.
I have enough to buy groceries and spend some on my favorite game, so that's at least something…
It only takes Alice's next words to pull me out of my spiraling thoughts.
"Maybe I should step up my game a bit, who knows? Maybe Noah will give in eventually. She doesn't have to know anyway. A hot as fuck office affair with the team leader all while his naive ugly girlfriend goes on about her boring ass day, sounds hot doesn't it?" She muses, earning herself approval from her stupid girl group.
That's enough for my taste, but it's not that I can do much against her. Especially since she gets favored from all the higher ups anyway…
Not everyone can be a hot skinny barbie with platinum blonde hair and perfect boobs and ass.
Not all of us are gods favorites. And clearly I was being left out when he handed out beauty like fucking newspaper.
Thankfully the technician comes around the corner, giving me a distraction from my negative spiraling which I welcome.
"You the lad that can't get the printer to work?" he sounds as annoyed as I am, welcome to the fucking club.
"Yeah, I changed the paper and the printer capsule and it still refuses to print out my handouts."
He mumbles something I can't understand before passing me to go into the printing room, getting to work instantly.
I follow him until I reach the doorway where I am shuffling from left to right.
It doesn't even take him a minute to turn around. "Go smoke a cigarette or something, lad. This will take me some time, come back in like 20."
Great.
At least that gives me an excuse to chill out for at least 20 minutes.
I just nod before turning and practically sprinting up the stairs, going for the rooftop, where I am greeted with greenery which is to "make a good effort for the environment".
Opening the door a gush of wind greets me, making me shiver for a short moment until I step out and close the door behind me. Thankfully nobody else seems to be out here at the moment, so some peace at last.
Taking my phone out of my pocket I go into my contacts, searching for the number I need the most right now.
It only takes three rings for my favorite voice to come through the phone (not including my 5 digital husbands of course)
"Bitch if you called me to tell me about Noah being an asshole again, then I will hang up on you ASAP." Rosa says matter of fact which earns her a chuckle from me.
"Yeah yeah, I missed you too bitch. That's not why I'm calling… Now that you say it though…"
"Do NOT finish that sentence girl. I seriously do not get why you're still with him. You're literally a fucking goddess which can do SO MUCH better."
I don't know how she does it, but hearing her voice and talking to me like that never fails to make me feel better, so despite my first great and then shitty day, I smile a little.
"He's… not always bad… But that's really not why I called you though. I just had a shitty day in general and I just needed some Rosa-makes-my-day-better-dosis…." My voice sounds small, even to me.
"Ugh girl. I wish I could smother you in hugs and kisses right now but I am sadly like millions of miles away. But I am back home when the weekend comes around soooooo… Watcha' saying, wanna make a girls night with loooooots of alcohol, funny games and you telling me all about your digital husbands again?"
Thank fuck.
That's exactly the kind of distraction I needed and I start nodding even though she can't even see me.
"Fuck yes. I'll free my schedule for the whole weekend because I need that."
I hear her giggle through my phone speaker and just like that my mood lights up again.
"I also found some weird board game with an ancient looking book which we should totally play. That lady who sold it to me was so lovely. Though she did say I should be careful since that shit has some serious magical powers, soooooo… Who knows, maybe I can summon a hot as fuck demon guy with a big dick or some shit."
That earns her a snort from me with she answers with an equally delighted laugh and I just shake my head at her antics. She was always a bit more on the crazy side and I wouldn't have her any other way. That bitch is my ride or die for a reason.
Memories of our high school days cross my mind.
I was the weird nerdy girl obsessed with Otome games and fan fics.
One day a girl of the cheer squad snatched my phone and read one of the rather… dirty chapters in the canteen out loud, officially turning me into the "Fic Freak" of the school who would never get laid, because no boy in his right mind would wanna date me.
Rosa was in the canteen that day as well, witnessing all of it happening and followed me out to the toilets where I ran to when the tears threatened to fall.
While I was locked into one of the stalls she came in, knocking at the door.
"Girl, if you start crying now then it better be because of that cool as fuck chapter you just read, cause Damian is HOT AS FUCK."
And with just that one sentence that girl became my best friend.
We both had an obsession with fan fics even though our tastes were slightly different.
While I was obsessed with Otome games as well she was more into witchcraft and all that magical stuff, especially demons.
She also looked like she'd be into that.
Scarlet red hair, slightly tanned skin, green eyes that gave you the feeling that she was literally looking into your soul. And to top that off, she was rocking the most punk and hippie clothing you could ever imagine.
She truly became my rock because I don't know if I would've survived high school without her, she made all the shit that was going on in my life bearable.
Sadly after we grew up and started working our meetings became less frequent.
She works for a private Academy teaching about Ancient texts and the ideology of magic or something for that effect. I have no idea how that girl managed to become that fucking smart with all the dirty shit she's reading.
I swear.
Her search history might be worse than mine.
Okay, who am I kidding? Nobody is worse than me.
"Sounds fun, so drinking, talking and summoning demons is our date for the weekend, yeah?"
She laughs again, the sound pleasant against the howling wind on the rooftop.
"Hell yeah. I'll let you know how late I'm gonna be back on Friday and we go shopping together for the weekend together, okay?"
"Yeah, sounds great. See you on Friday then. Love you"
"Love you too bitch" And just like that she hangs up, leaving me standing on the rooftop with a little less weight in my heart.
The day ran by after my call with Rosa.
The printer finally worked again, after the technician probably threatened it to dissemble the fucking thing into pieces and I was able to print out the finance plans for the meeting.
Thankfully I didn't have any encounters with Alice or any of her girls after that, leaving me to clock out of work at 4 PM to finally get back home.
Hearing the sounds of a message notification from my phone I pull it out of my pocket.
Three unread messages.
Two of them from Rosa and one from Noah.
Deciding that he pissed me off enough today as it is I just ignore him, opening up the chat with Rosa instead.
[Rosa]: Girl! Check that out, just saw the advertisement for it, even tho I have no idea if that's good, figured u would like that shit
[Rosa]: Photo
The picture was a photo from a chinese Billboard, advertising the new Multi-banner from Love and Deepspace, picturing the guys in Leather and Chains and oh…my…fucking… god…
They look hot as fuck.
I nearly stumble over my own feet on my way out of the office building when I hastily type back a reply to Rosa.
[Lilian]: I knew a banner was coming up but omfg… I need em like now. Preferably IRL too lmao
[Rosa]: U r way too kinky
[Rosa]: No wonder Noah can't get u off properly
[Rosa]: maybe I should really try some demon summoning, summon u a sex demon lol
[Lilian]: I'd prefer if u could summon me my 5 digi husbands laughing emoji
[Rosa]: On it tho if it doesn't work out u can still put me in leather and chains wink emoji
[Lilian]: u wish u horny bitch
With a shake of my head I close the messages and concentrate on getting home without nearly breaking my neck again, because even though I have a sad fucking life I'd prefer to keep living thank you very much.
Hopping onto the subway I take a seat, thankfully it's not as full in here as usual.
So with music in my ears I open up the fic from earlier up again.
Call it a fucking talent but I can read the filthiest shit in public without so much as making a face, probably thanks to me doing it for years already.
His hands carefully pinch and roll your nipples again, earning him a stifled moan.
Your hips start to move by themselves, rubbing your aching core shamelessly against the front of Caleb's jeans, making him let out a small groan.
He grabs your ass even more and helps you grinding against him.
The amused chuckle from Sylus makes his breath flutter against your neck, making you shiver again.
"Such a responsive Kitten… Weren't you supposed to train, hm?" He whispers against your skin.
You try to answer, you really do. But Caleb's straining erection rubbing against your clit and Sylus's fingers rolling your nipples expertly has you squirming between them, unable to form a single coherent sentence.
Your moan bounces off the walls from the training room you are in, because that actually was the plan.
Training with Caleb to take on more powerful wanderers.
He also wanted you to get better with bigger firearms, so when he helped you adjust your stance you accidentally started rubbing your ass against him.
Totally an accident.
And as if the situation wasn't embarrassing enough as it is, just then the sound of the door opening again echoes through the room, revealing a surprised looking Xavier which stands in the doorway.
But the surprise quickly makes way for a much hungrier look in his eyes as he takes in your current predicament.
"Hm… Seems like my star is in dire need of help from her Hunter partner." He says, voice smooth until he starts to approach the three of you.
The way he walks though tells you he doesn't intend on "helping" you in the way you may hoped for…
Looking up from my phone I soon realize that the subway became way fuller than before, thankfully the next stop is where I need to get off.
So closing my reading app I start to get up, looking out if I left anything behind before getting off the train. Taking the stairs two at a time I climb up, out of the bustling subway station and away from the hundreds of people mingling about.
It's the end of September and even though the sun is still warm and shining, the wind starts to become a little bit colder everyday, making room for early Autumn to roll around.
Walking along the small houses on the outskirts of Rueville, it doesn't take long to arrive back home.
It's a small brick house holding multiple apartments in it, I'd even go as far and say it actually has charm. The old rustic kind of charm but still.
At least the flowerbeds are kept healthy and tidy, giving the house a friendly atmosphere in the otherwise old looking neighborhood.
I am fumbling for my keys as my phone pings again and a quick glance at it tells me it's another message from Noah.
With a sigh I finally grab the key for my apartment and open up the front door before going up stairs again, an elevator would be great but of fucking course there is none in this old brick building.
Finally reaching the 4th floor I am breathing like I've run a freaking marathon. I am not the most fit person okay? Can't blame a girl for not being into sports when I was busy reading about hot sports guys and fantasizing about them actually being into me rather than facing reality.
With a few more gulps of air I turn to my apartment door unlocking it before stepping in and turning on the lights before tossing my key into the small cat-shaped key holder on the small table beside me. A birthday gift I got from Rosa three years ago.
A heavy sigh escapes me when I walk into the kitchen-living room area and open up my refrigerator which greets me with a rather sad image.
Fucking great.
A nearly empty bottle of milk, some Pasta leftover from three days ago which definitely isn't edible anymore and a bottle of wine.
At least there is wine.
So guess I have to go get some groceries as well.
But that's a problem for future Lilian, the one that had a coffee and a shower.
So I'm starting up the little coffee machine on my counter and grabbing my phone again while I'm waiting.
Biting on my lower lip I can't help myself when I open up my messages again.
Three unread messages.
All of them from Noah.
For fucks sake.
Imagine if I would actually be that tough bitch I always tell myself I am…
But even though he is a massive fucking asshole, he is also my first love and my first boyfriend…
And he wasn't always that bad…
I remember the way he was when we first met, the day I started working at my company.
Fuck. I was going to be late, fucking great. Being late on my first day of work wasn't on my plan, not exactly.
The traffic was just so fucking awful this morning, having a delay of 30 minutes which resulted in me rushing through the streets towards the Office building.
And with a huge amount of luck (and a disgusting amount of sweat) I tumbled into the building, exactly one minute before my work time officially began.
My lungs were burning, my hair in disarray and truth be told? I looked fucking awful.
Looking up from my bent over position at the entrance I saw him.
The hottest guy I've seen in a looooooooong while. Light brown hair, just long enough to be able to grab a handful, blue eyes in the darkest shade I've ever seen, like the ocean itself painted it. Tall, muscular and a charming smile.
And of fucking course.
He was the team leader which was ordered to get me settled in the office.
Fuck my life.
"You look pretty rough for your first day and it hasn't even started yet. But where are my manners? I'm Noah." Damn it. Even his voice was sexy as fuck. He politely held out his hand for me which I grabbed and shook.
My face heated up and that had nothing to do with the fact I just hurried my ass off to get here.
"T-Thank you for waiting for me… The traffic was horrible this morning… My name is Lilian…" I admitted shamefully.
After our first rather weird encounter Noah surprisingly kept on waiting for me at the entrance of the building.
The first few weeks kept going on like that up until he asked me if I wanted to accompany him going for a coffee.
We kept on meeting up like this for a few more weeks after that, our coffee dates became regular until he finally truly asked me out on a date. It didn't take long after that for him to ask me to be his girlfriend, that was one and a half years ago.
He was a completely romantic idiot for the first few months, taking me out for dinner, gifting me flowers, getting me chocolate when I had my period and all the other things normal couples did.
We didn't had any sex for the first three months though and like the gentleman he was, he waited for me to be ready for it.
Our relationship was literally perfect up until the day I decided that I was finally ready for the next step.
The perfect date night, going out for food, having one or two glasses of wine and stumbling back into my apartment while kissing each other messily.
Even though the first time hurt, he made sure I was okay all the way and honestly? It was the picture perfect first time, something every girl dreams of.
Soft and sensual sex.
And yet it didn't make me happy the way I thought it would…
Even though I had zero experience in sex, that just wasn't it for me.
And it seems Noah shared that opinion because it didn't take long after that for him to turn more and more into the asshole he is today. We never talked about why he changed like that though and I still don't know what exactly happened.
And I only tried to coax him into more kinky things a few times after that (which he declined every single time).
So that's where it left us, being in a fucked up relationship. Having boring ass vanilla sex whenever he feels like it while I am being the obedient girlfriend who foolishly hopes he will change for the better.
I exhale the breath I didn't know I was holding and open up the messages from him, a crease forming between my brows.
[Noah]: babe I'm sorry for today at the café
[Noah]: I was being a dick cuz I was just so stressed the last few days. Works has been a pain
[Noah]: I wanna make it up to u. Wanna go on a date with me tmrw? heart emoji
Oh.
Well talking about hoping for a change.
Despite him ruining my day earlier I can't help the small flutter of hope spreading through my body and a smile forming on my lips.
We haven't gone on a date in a long while, maybe that's exactly what we both need?
Going out together and spending time. Maybe even more if the opinion of my clenching core is anything to go by.
I mean a vibrator can only take care of the edge so much until you crave more.
And even though a deep part of me gave me a warning to not hope for anything, I still replied.
[Lilian]: Yeah u were an asshole today.
[Lilian]: But since u r my asshole, i forgive u heart emoji
[Lilian]: Let's go on a date
[Noah]: I knew u can't stay mad at me hehe
[Noah]: our favorite Italian restaurant tmrw at 8? kiss emoji
[Lilian]: sure, see u tomorrow! I love u! heart emoji
As the coffee machine beeps in the background, announcing it's ready for use I keep on staying staring at my phone.
He read my last message but didn't reply.
Weird. Maybe something came up, he did apologize and asked for a date after all so that's a good sign… Right?
The next day didn't flew by as much as the one before.
And even though we've been together for that long I still get nervous when we go on a date.
Or rather when we went on dates since it's been like… Two months?
To say I was being a nervous mess would be an understatement. So to calm my nerves in my break I load up my favorite game.
Love and Deepspace.
I gotta do my daily's after all since I won't have much time when I am home between getting ready and going to our date.
The screen loads up, thankfully nobody was at the rooftop again at lunch break so I had all that space for me and my digital husbands which were about to load up.
A grin spreads over my lips as Sylus loaded in, his usual smirk on his face and those red eyes seemingly staring at me through the screen.
"Ah, finally the kitten decided to visit me again. I hope you're having a good day so far."
Gosh I love his voice. It does things with my body.
"My day definitely became a whole lot better after seeing your face, Sylus. And it's gonna get even better when I am going to my date later, sadly not with you though… Since you're not real and all that." I sigh and for a second I swear I saw him furrow his brow.
Huh.
Squinting my eyes I get closer to the screen and inspect his face, but it's the same smug expression as always. It was probably just the sun making a weird reflection on my phone.
So I go on with completing all my daily's and collecting my diamonds. I've been saving up for a while since the new multi-banner comes up and I want ALL the cards after all.
It doesn't take me long to finish them all and I am back at the main screen again, my finger longingly swiping over Sylus's cheeks when he comes closer towards me.
"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if you guys would be real… My life would certainly be less boring, that much is clear…"
Sylus chuckles, the sound carried through the speakers of my phone.
"Is there something on my face, kitten? Or do you just like it so much to touch me?"
He truly never fails to make me smile but that doesn't change the quiet and creeping loneliness that comes with it because, even though I have a boyfriend ( a shitty one but a boyfriend nonetheless), a best friend and a good paying job… I still feel like there is something important missing in my life.
So with a heavy sigh I close the game, my phone screen going dark again before leaning back against the stone wall of the building, head backwards looking up into the sky and the shining sun.
"Gosh I am really pathetic…" honestly I am not even surprised about the tears that drop down my face, as if I knew something was gonna happen before it did.
Hastily wiping away my tears I try to gather myself again, taking a few self assuring deep breaths. I've still got work to do after all, so that's what I did. Drowning myself in a huge fucking workload.
Thankfully the rest of the day went by without any major incident, except for the coffee machine in the office kitchen putting in its early retirement letter.
Can't even blame the shitty machine, to be honest. It will be missed though…
So when I finally arrive back home, my nerves are back at full force because now?
Now it's time for the full-on-care-shower-and-shaving.
That's right.
Making my way towards the bathroom I start up the shower to let it warm up a little while stepping out of my work clothes, which are landing gracefully in the laundry basket right beside the door.
Steam begins to fill the room so I put up my phone, volume all the way up and let my music shuffle before hopping under the stream of hot water, hissing slightly when it first burns my skin a little.
Though it doesn't take long for it to feel good, splashing away the burning aching of my muscles and washing away the grime of the day.
For a minute I just enjoy the feeling of it, the hot water cascading over my skin.
Rosa always joked about the fact that I had to be from hell with how hot my showers tend to be, even Noah said something like this a few times but I just couldn't help it really.
I always appreciated the heat and the way it made me feel.
After enjoying the warmth for a bit longer it was time to get started on the full routine, lathering up my hair and using neutral soap for the first wash before grabbing my razor.
Note for myself: Get new blades ASAP.
It takes a full twenty or something minutes to finish up the routine, all while enjoying my time and singing along to the Pop music playing from my phone before stepping out of the shower and drying myself off with a fluffy towel.
The mirror in the bathroom is completely fogged up so I throw open the window, because dealing with mold would be another thing on my long list of shitty things I do NOT wanna deal with.
Next up was using my beloved lotion, the one that makes it so my skin smells like a fucking bakery. I'd eat myself up if that would work with how good it smells.
All while I am getting myself ready I check my phone from time to time, opening up my messages again.
[Lilian]: hey babe, getting ready rn. so excited for our date!
[Lilian]: 8PM still standing?
The check marks from the messages show that they've been delivered and yet there is no new message from Noah.
Weirdly I also haven't seen him at work all day, so maybe he was dealing with matters outside of the Office building, he did have some external work a few times so that may be it.
Despite the gnawing feeling in my stomach I continue getting ready, the time saying 6:23 PM so still plenty left.
It takes a while until I am happy with how I look in the mirror, my makeup being rather decent today and my hair looking all fluffy and nice.
Pulling my towel a little tighter around myself I step out of the bathroom and into my bedroom one door further down, now it's time to decide what exactly I should wear… The true challenge of tonight really…
But surprisingly it doesn't take long until the decision is made and I take a good look at myself in the mirror, turning left and right for a little bit.
A short black skirt hugs my waist, combined with a white top and a beige cardigan. Matching white stockings reach above my knee, complementing the rest of the outfit.
Last but not least my black boots are giving a nice ending touch to it.
And beneath it all?
My best and most sexy black lace underwear.
I was as prepared as I could be and honestly? I felt fucking great, sexy and excited for tonight.
Spraying a few pumps of my perfume on my neck I put on the rest of the outfit, namely some earrings and a bracelet.
After finishing up and preparing to go I stop by the hallway mirror beside my door, my fingers absentmindedly hovering over the charm from my necklace.
I've had it since I could remember, my adoptive mom says it was around my neck when I got placed at the orphanage and I wore it ever since.
Some might call me crazy but whenever I took the necklace off it felt like I couldn't breathe as well as before, as if something vital was missing. So I always wore it.
It was a simple design, a delicate silver chain. The charm was a pretty multicolored gem stone encased in an elegant silver socket and I don't even know what kind of gem exactly.
Rosa and I did try to find some information about it a few times but nothing really came out of it, so at one point we just stopped looking.
With a last look at myself in the mirror I catch something rare, an honest smile and a slight blush on my cheeks.
Checking the time again.
7:34 PM, time to get going.
I step out and lock the door, checking again before turning and walking down the stairs, on the second floor the door creaks open when Mrs. Willow peaks out of it, a friendly smile on her face.
"Oh dear! You look really pretty today! Going on a date with your sweetheart?"
Figuring I at least have a few minutes to spare I stop by her door and give her an equally friendly smile back. "Good evening Mrs. Willow and yeah! We're going to our favorite Italian restaurant tonight, so I'm quite excited."
Her eyes wrinkle around the corner when she lets out a small laugh.
"Ah, the youth. Me and my sweetheart were like that once too! Enjoy your evening, dear. I hope your man appreciates the effort you made for looking so pretty tonight."
A blush creeps up my neck before I can stop myself while slightly biting down on my lower lip.
"I hope so too. Good night Mrs. Willow!"
With a small wave I turn back to the stairs again, nearly taking two at a time before I exit our little building.
Thankfully the wind isn't as cold as predicted, the temperature still being warm enough for my outfit.
While walking I take my phone out of the purse before checking the notifications.
One new message.
My heart rate picks up but I am quickly disappointed after pulling up the messages and seeing that the new one came from Rosa, still nothing from Noah.
[Rosa]: Even tho I hate that u still date that prick I hope u have a good time tonight. U def need to get laid.
[Lilian]: ok wow. no need to attack my lady bits like that
[Rosa]: Why? it's true tho. have fun tonight babes kiss emoji
Swapping the chat to Noah again my fingers fly over the screen.
[Lilian]: I hope u didn't forget me babe wink emoji
Even though it was supposed to sound funny and light, I felt everything but.
Somewhere in my mind I screamed at myself to turn and go back home, but I choose to ignore that feeling while walking.
It doesn't take me long to reach the street where our favorite Italian restaurant is housed. The small building fits nicely into the corner of the street, a few tables in front of the house making up the cozy terrace surrounded by flowers of various kinds.
The perfect cozy place for couples, that's exactly why I loved it so much.
And the owner of the place is a lovely elderly couple with their grandson who works here as a waiter. The latter already spotted me across the street and gives me a friendly wave.
It doesn't take long for me to come on over until I'm in front of the restaurant and Enrico pulls me into a friendly hug. The kind that makes you feel safe and lets you forget your problems for a little bit.
"Ahhhh Carina! Our favorite customer is back! You look gorgeous today though I am surprised to see you."
That quickly grabs my attention, a crease forming between my brows when I pull back to look at him.
"Good to see you too, but what do you mean? Noah and I have a reservation at your place tonight?" There is was again, the gnawing feeling of unease.
Enrico blinks a few times before he makes a few steps back.
"Really? Maybe I didn't see it, let me check."
And with that he steps back into the house, leaving me outside to wait for him.
My foot taps against the stone beneath it while I'm starting to flex my fingers nervously, did Noah forget to make a reservation? Maybe he thought he doesn't need one since the place isn't usually packed around this time.
Grabbing my phone I check the messages again, still nothing from him.
It doesn't take Enrico long until he comes out of the door again, he smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"It seems like he didn't make a reservation for you guys, Carina… But since we don't have any other customers tonight it's not that bad. Do you wanna take a seat and wait for him?"
I have to actively swallow past the lump in my throat, the burning behind my eyes already being a silent presence but not yet.
He probably just forgot.
He will be here.
It's not even 8 PM.
He still has ten minutes left.
So I nod slightly at Enrico, smiling despite the growing unease.
"Yeah, I'll wait for him. Thank you."
He nods at me and leads me to our favorite table on the terrace. He did ask if I wanted to order something to drink but I merely shook my head, explaining that I'll wait for Noah so he doesn't have to walk twice.
And that's what I did.
I waited.
9:15 PM.
My fingers have started to become numb from how hard I was gripping my phone.
The stinging feeling in the back of my head, right behind my eyes had intensified but I refuse to let them fall, not here.
Enrico and his grandparents came out multiple times, asking me if I wanted something to drink, something to eat but I declined every time.
I also overheard Enrico cussing out Noah wholeheartedly in Italian, not that I'd understand anything but I figured as much with how furious he looked and when his hands looked like he would strangle him if he were here.
But I just felt numb.
It wasn't the first time Noah stood me up, far from it.
But he never stood me up when I was actively waiting at a restaurant.
He always sent me a message right before our date saying he was busy, he was sick… Anything really that excused him from having to meet up with me.
This? This was a first.
And it hurt like a motherfucker.
Looking at my phone again I truly feel pathetic looking at our chat, all the double marks showing the messages have been delivered.
[Lilian]: Babe are u alright?
[Lilian]: Did something happen on ur way here?
[Lilian]: Don't tell me work kept u again…
[Lilian]: Noah srsly I am starting to worry. Where are u?
[Lilian]: babe? where tf are u?
[Lilian]: Call me if u read this ASAP
The sigh I let out was loud, even to my own ears and Enrico slowly walked over to me, holding what seemed like a container with food in it.
"Carina, I know you don't want anything. But please take this. It's pasta made by my Nonna and she would be devastated if you declined her request again." A sad and knowing smile came over his face and it took everything in me to not start crying like a child.
With shaking hands I take the container from him, the warmth of the dish seeping into my cold hands is a different kind of hurt.
"Thank you… I'll… just get going now, yeah?"
Enrico gives me a small nod and pulls me into another of his crushing hugs, holding me for a second longer.
"You really should ditch this stronzo, carina." he murmured against my head before pulling back again.
I just give him a small smile and whatever he sees on my face, makes him sigh even louder.
So with a small wave of my hand I take off to go back home, so I can at least shatter while nobody is there to witness it…
It doesn't take long to arrive back home, taking to stairs at a time so I can lock myself into my apartment.
Thankfully none of my noisy neighbors peeked out of the door or were there to stop me with small talk about my day because I sure as fuck wasn't able to talk to anyone, not trusting my own voice to stay somewhat stable.
When the door of my apartment closed behind me and the deafening silence of it stretched around me, that's when I finally let go.
The tears came fast and hard, my breath shuddering with the force of them while I slid down the door with my back pressed against it.
Why…
Why am I not enough?
I get that I am not perfect…
But that's just…
Some pathetic part of myself still clings to the thought that he didn't ditch me, that there is some reasonable excuse for him why he didn't show up.
Maybe he had an accident and can't reach out because he's in the hospital?
It's literally me grasping for straws at this point but there is not much I can do while sitting on my floor, ugly crying, my whole body seizing from the force of it.
And when my phone finally pings again? Yeah I should've just turned it off.
One unread message.
[Unknown]: Photo
My hands are shaking while my vision tries to somewhat focus through the tears.
It's an unknown number which already sounds suspicious and I really shouldn't open up the message but my curiosity gets the better of me and I click on the chat.
Yeah, I really should've stayed curious.
Because the picture I am seeing right now?
It's a picture from Noah who's hands are grabbing the waist of a woman that looks suspiciously like Alice, somewhere in a dark alley behind one of the local bars.
Her face is buried at his neck and from the looks of it, they seem rather cozy together.
I feel the bile rising before I even start to retch, my phone and the dinner container left on the floor while I scramble up and run for my bathroom.
The only sound in my apartment.
The sound of me heaving above my toilet, nothing coming up since the dinner me and my beloved boyfriend were supposed to have never made its way into my stomach…
After what feels like an eternity, the heaving finally stops. Leaving me a sobbing mess.
And despite feeling like complete shit I still drag myself up and get back into my open space kitchen area, picking up my phone and the dish from the ground. Unlocking my phone reveals the picture again and I quickly close the chat, whoever send it can go fuck themselves for all I care.
Maybe it's someone from Alice's girlfriends and they are enjoying the fact that they just destroyed my relationship?
Or someone who finally took pity on me and wanted to let me know what an asshole I've been dating, who knows…
The lovely pasta gets put into the fridge for the time being because there is no way in hell I can eat that right now… Not while I am a sobbing mess who can't even breathe properly.
So I do the only right thing that's left now.
I grab the bottle of wine out of the fridge, not bothering with a glass because who fucking cares?
My footsteps echo through the room until I flop down onto my small couch and open up my chat with Noah.
[Lilian]: Fuck u.
[Lilian]: It's over. We're over. Done.
After sending the text my finger hovers above the "Block" button until I take a deep breath and press it, the next step?
Calling the only person that truly loves me.
Rosa picks up after the first ring, as if she already knew I needed her.
"Spill. Do I need to kill him?" Her voice came through the speaker with enough bite that tears gathered in my eyes again, falling down my cheeks.
I try, truly try to form some form of an understandable answer but all I manage is to choke out another sob. Rosa immediately softens her voice.
"Babe.. Fuck… Please don't cry. This asshole doesn't deserve a single fucking tear you're spilling because of him, do you hear me?" I nod even though she can't see it.
"He is fucking cheating on me… With Alice out of all the people…" I have no idea how Rosa is able to understand the sobbing and choking mess that I am but she does and for a second she doesn't seem to be answering.
"I'm gonna curse his ass. That's it. And you are not stopping me. Fuck this prick." Nobody manages to sound soft and angry at the same time as good as she does, sometimes it's really scary even for me.
A bitter laugh escapes me followed by even more sobbing.
"Babe. Seriously stop crying. Remember your digital husbands? Imagine how fucking pathetic he would look besides Sylus."
And that does it. A real laugh escapes me this time even though I am hiccuping once or twice, choking on a few tears.
"Pathetic would be an understatement…"
"There she is. I will so not allow you to be sad about that prick. He couldn't even fuck you the way you needed."
"Rosa… I'm kinda having a meltdown here…"
"Yeah that's exactly why I'm telling you to grow yourself a pair of balls. I swear I'm gonna find a way to first of all, Voodoo curse his ass and after that summon your digital husbands out of your game." She sounds so serious while saying that too.
"Ugh I wish… That would make my life so much easier and better…" And it's true.
You can call me crazy but the amount of comfort I've found in my cute little Otome game and within the guys borders on unreal… Not even the fanfics or books, where I lost myself in, were able to comfort me that much, it feels like they understand me, even if they are just video game characters.
Opening up the wine I gulp down a good few sips before putting the bottle on the table and slumping back against the couch, I swear I somehow aged like twenty years.
"I'll try to come back tomorrow, it might be late in the evening though. If you want to you can crash at my place and wait for me there?" She now sounds a lot softer again and a small smile ghosts across my lips.
"Yeah… That's probably for the better… Thanks babe… I don't know what I'd do without you…"
"Well you'd date even worse guys, that's for sure. Love you girly. Call me when you're at my place, 'kay?"
"Will do. Love you too."
And as the phone call ends I take another big sip from the wine bottle, the sweetness of it stings in my throat which still is raw from me heaving and nothing coming out of it.
My stomach burns and growls in protest, not wanting the alcohol but actual food to digest but right now it can go fuck itself. The sting from the alcohol and the numbing effect of it is much more pleasant than anything else.
So that's exactly what I am doing.
Drowning my problems in alcohol.
An hour later and there aren't any new messages, not from Noah at least. I might've blocked him in our chat but he can still call or shoot me an SMS.
He did neither.
It shouldn't sting as much as it does so I do what's best to keep me distracted.
Loading up Love and Deepspace.
The screen takes a little longer to load than usual until the pop-up on my screen makes my slightly tipsy mind focus.
The new Multi-banner just dropped.
So when I finally load into the game, no other than Xavier greets me, holding back a yawn and failing miserably.
"No worries… I'm staying awake for you…" His voice is just so utterly adorable when he's trying to not fall asleep on the spot.
But even though he looks so soft and innocent on the outside, I know exactly what kind of pervert he is. Xavier is for the freaks. A small giggle escapes me while my finger swishes over the screen, touching his head with the motion, which makes him blush. Ugh. So adorable.
"Is something wrong with my hair?" He sounds kinda flustered while touching his bangs.
"Nah my cute Bunny boy. You look as perfect as always." I sigh. My voice slightly slurred from the alcohol since the bottle sits nearly empty on the table.
But I cannot be distracted by the cuteness, I've got a mission to fulfill after all.
Namely: Getting all the memory cards.
So when I open up the "Wish" tab and take a look at the preview of them, my breath stutters slightly and I can't fight the blush that creeps up my neck and my face. My fantasizing mind already running 100 miles per hour.
"Fuck… That's so not fair…"
They look good. Like. GOOD good.
Maybe Rosa isn't so wrong for calling me an absolute kinky bitch because damn.
The image of being surrounded by all of them in those outfits?
That's like a dream come true.
Time to get serious though.
And that's how I spent my evening pulling for all of them. And also how I spent my last 100$ on getting more wishes as well.
Because I'll be damned if I wouldn't get all of them.
"Ughhh…."
The blaring alarm clock on my nightstand reminds me of the harsh reality.
That drinking a whole bottle of wine and downing the rest of the tequila (which I found somewhere in my kitchen) when there's work the next day, isn't exactly a good idea.
I swear my head's gonna explode at this rate. So I slam down my hand on the alarm, silencing it finally.
Grabbing my phone of the nightstand I stare at the screen for a minute with only one eye open.
You know what? Fuck it.
I cannot deal with work today, or the rest of the week for that matter.
If I have to see Alice or Noah? I might actually lose my shit and I am not gonna sit at work ugly crying and give that bitch and her co-stars diddle-dumb and diddle-dumber even more reason to run their mouths about me.
Opening up the contacts I dial the number of the secretary from our office which handles the matters of all the employees.
The old hag doesn't even really cares about the excuse I give her taking my sick leave and so, five minutes later I sling back the blanket over my head, giving myself a few more hours of sleep of well deserved sleep.
The next time I am opening my eyes the room is way brighter than before, which means it's probably around midday. Groaning and stretching I grab my phone again.
13 missed calls.
Three unread messages.
Of course the missed calls are all from Noah, except for one. That one being from my "mom" but I cannot deal with her shit right now.
Opening up the messages I see that two are from Rosa and one from my mom, so taking the jump I open up Mom's message first.
[Mom]: I need you to transfer me 1000$ before the end of the month for Esther's upcoming surgery.
Wow. No "How are you doing?" , "How's work?" or "Are you eating well, my dear?" Nope. Straight to the point as always. I just send her a thumbs up emoji before swapping the chat again.
[Rosa]: I just got the green light for going home earlier
[Rosa]: I'll be back at around 9 PMish so if u could prepare food and stuff would be great heart emoji
Looking at the time I see that there's still plenty left since it's only 11 AM, huh. I didn't sleep as long as I thought I would.
So after scrolling through social media for a while, watching reels of cute cats (liking every single one of them), reading through a few news and blocking Noah and Alice for good measure, I crawl out of my bed. Even if I want nothing more than to stay in it.
But crying, heaving, drinking way too much alcohol and sleeping without changing or taking off your makeup? Yeah. That leaves traces on a girl, let me tell you.
So I groan internally when I look at myself in the mirror. All that hard work for my makeup just so I can cry it off my face, great.
Starting up the shower I just shed my clothes, throwing them to the rest of the laundry before getting under the hot water, washing away all the traces of the fucked up night I had yesterday.
When I finally felt like myself again, less panda eyes and more comfy but stylish clothing I decided to go get some groceries to take them to Rosa's place later, it's only when I check my savings on my phone before going out that I realize…
I fucking spent 100 bucks on LADS yesterday.
Specifically my last 100 bucks.
Fuck my life.
I pinch the bridge of my nose a bit harder than it needs to, the headache from my hangover not going anywhere for the time being.
At least I have 10 bucks left in cash in my purse somewhere, so we can get something to eat for today. Nothing fancy but food nonetheless.
So grabbing my keys, my phone and my purse I head out on a mission to get some cheap ingredients for food later. Because I'll be damned if my housewife comes home and doesn't get any food when she is literally my lifeline.
It's around 4 PM when I finish packing up my bag for the weekend and put it next to the bag of groceries which I plan on taking to Rosa's place. Just as I am about to turn off all the lights in my apartment the doorbell rings and my body locks up.
As if I already knew who will be in front of my door right now.
So I take a few breaths trying to calm my now racing heart as the doorbell rings again and again before I hear his voice from outside. Of course it's fucking Noah.
"Babe, open up the door. I know you're there."
Just fucking great. Couldn't he arrive like ten minutes later? Then I would've already been gone by the time because now I have to deal with that shit. And the burning behind my eyes returns slightly but I am not gonna cry, not again. Fuck this shit.
So I pull up my imaginary big girl panties and turn towards the door, my fingers grabbing the door knob a little too tightly before turning it and opening the door. Noah's finger just hovered above the doorbell again when he looked up, at least he looks equally as shitty as I do.
"Babe, why the fuck did you block me after breaking up with me over the fucking phone? And you didn't even answer any of my calls, do you know how fucking worried I was?"
Unbelievable. The audacity of this guy is fucking insane.
And I am actually proud of myself for looking as pissed off as I do when Noah's eyes widen slightly and he does pale a little. Small wins at least.
"I swear to god Noah, don't piss me off. I am not the one who stood me up at our fucking date night. You didn't even made the reservation because seems like you were too fucking busy fucking around with Alice to care about your actual girlfriend, hm?"
That seems to do the trick because now his cheeks are becoming red, out of anger or shame? I don't know yet but seems like I find out soon enough when he starts talking again because his voice lowers itself a bit more, as if he's trying to get me to be a little quieter.
"Are you for real now Lilian?! I had to help out Alice because she got assaulted by a random fucking guy in the bar and you blame me for saving her?! Are you that egoistic to care more about a date we can repeat any time instead of a co-worker of yours being in danger?!"
Alright. That's it.
I scoff and just shake my head at him, the tears now threatening to fall again but not because I am sad, those are more tears of being so fucking angry that it feels like I am suffocating under it.
"Leave, Noah. It's over. I don't want to see your face around here anymore. Leave me alone."
Just as I am about to close the door on him his hand rushes forward against it to stop me from doing exactly that. He also has the audacity to look like he's actually hurt about me dumping his ass.
"Lilian seriously. I love you and you know that. So stop this non-sense now, I am here now, aren't I?"
Ah. So him being here excuses all of his wrong behavior from before, surely.
"I mean it, Noah. Leave me alone or I am gonna call for the fucking police."
At last he takes his hand off the door, his expression remains unreadable for a moment before an ugly sneer takes over his features. If I didn't know any better I'd even say he looks furious right now.
"Lilian… Are you seeing someone else? Is that what this is? Are you cheating on me? Is that the reason you're being such a bitch right now?"
With every word he's spitting out he sounds even more venomous and his posture seems even more frightening than before… He wouldn't attack me though… Right?
Just as he is about to take a step forward the door across from me opens, revealing my elderly neighbor Tom, a nice guy who always looked out for me in his own kind of way. He sometimes tells me stories about the time he served in the army, I am still not sure if everything he told me was true though…
"Ah, hello Lilian. Is this young man bothering you, by any chance?" He might sound nice in other peoples ears but I could hear the undertone and I just give him a polite smile while shaking my head.
"No Tom, all good. Noah just wanted to leave anyway, right?" That had the wanted effect because Noah turned around with a poisonous smile and gave a slight nod to the elderly man.
"Yeah, just wanted to check on my girlfriend since she wasn't feeling so good. Was nice meeting you, sir. See you soon Lilian." And with that he turned and finally left the building, giving me the opportunity to let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, my hands slightly shaking.
"Lil, my dear? Are you okay?" Tom's concerned voice kinda kept me away from the upcoming panic attack that threatened to rise so I looked up to him and just gave a little shrug with my shoulder, my voice sounding way smaller than I would've liked.
"Not… really okay but you don't have to worry. I was planning on staying at a friends house for a few days anyway."
"Alright, dear. If you need any help, don't hesitate to let me know, alright?"
And with that Tom gave me a last concerned look before going back into his apartment, closing the door with a soft thud.
And that was my clue to get my ass moving because I do not wanna stick around to see if Noah decides to come back again and starts demanding to get into my apartment. As much as I hate to admit it? He scared me just now. He scared me a fucking lot because I have never seen him like this.
Sure he was jealous as fuck and sometimes he was pretty mean about it but that was the first time he actually behaved like… that…
So instead of waiting I turned around to grab my backpack and the shopping bag, grabbing my phone and keys as well before stepping out and locking the door, thank fuck I don't have to stay here. So with hurried steps, taking two stairs at a time, I hurry out of my apartment building out on the streets and jog for the first few turns, hoping and praying to god that whatever possessed Noah to act so weird didn't make him follow me too.
It takes about twenty minutes for me to arrive at Rosa's place, thankfully she doesn't live on the other side of the city because I wouldn't have been able to take a Taxi and the subway would've been a pain at this time of the day.
I grabbed my key chain and started fumbling for the key to her apartment, which she gave me a few months ago so I could come and go into her place whenever I liked, the same going for her since she also had a key to my place. It didn't take long to find it before I twisted it in the lock until it sprang open for me.
The smell of her apartment never fails to amaze me because it smells like a fucking botanic garden in here, a mixture of different herbs and flowers, all combined to a perfect symphony of smells which just makes you feel safe. The decoration of her apartment was perfectly matched with the smell, every furniture item had a beige, brown, green or white color mix going on, perfectly matching each other.
If you would think about the hideout from a lewd witchy fairy, that is exactly the picture that would come from that. Her living room lined with bookshelves housing antic looking books, some about witchcraft, some about demons and some others about folklore and all that shit.
Dangling from the wall above her windows are beautiful glassy crystal dream catcher which reflected the light throughout the whole room, making it seem even more magical in here.
I always loved her apartment, much more then I liked mine to be honest.
I never bothered with decorating since I never felt like it was truly my home, so I kept everything pretty simple, a few bits and bobs here and there but that's about it really. Also considering the fact that decorating was an expensive luxury I couldn't afford at the moment so…
Dropping my backpack in her equally dreamy bedroom I turn back towards her kitchen, taking out the groceries I brought and leave them on the counter for the time being, since it's only 4:30 PM right now, she won't be home for another 5 hours anyway. So time for me to relax on her couch and watch some TV.
I sink into the plush of her pillows before adjusting my position to a comfortable one, taking the remote to turn on the TV for some background noise, swapping through the channels until I find anything that remotely catches my interest for the time being. Adjusting the noise I soon grab my phone out of my pocket before unlocking it, opening up the chat with Rosa.
[Lilian]: Just arrived at ur place. gonna make lasagna later, couldn't buy any alc tho since I am kinda on the budget crying emoji
It doesn't take long for her message to arrive and I snort a little at her response.
[Rosa]: Let me guess…
[Rosa]: U spend ur money on the new cards, right?
Welp… She knows me better than anyone else, what can I say?
[Lilian]: Me? I would neva
[Rosa]: u r a lying bitch.
[Rosa]: no worries I'll grab some on my way. see u soon kiss emoji
With a somewhat happy smile I close our chat again, already excited to see my best friend again since it's been a few weeks. She had to travel for work again but thankfully her coming back meant she was done for the time being, so I could see her everyday again. That definitely was something to look forward to.
And while I am sitting here, waiting for her anyways I load up Love and Deepspace again.
I just had to take a look at the new memories without the alcohol fogging up my brain.
For scientific purposes of course.
So when the game loaded up again, it was Zayne who greeted me this time.
"I am just finishing up those papers and then I am right there with you." His voice was just so soothing, that's exactly what I would imagine a silent night with soft snowfall and a warm fireplace would sound like. He just gives me that cozy feeling, that you are safe with him, comforted and cared for.
"Well doctor… I've got a condition that could use your help… I am pretty sure only you can cure a broken heart…" Gosh I really am gone for them.
And in the corner of my vision I saw the movement, the small pained expression Zayne's face just had, before it disappeared as quickly as it came. What the fuck?
First it was Sylus two days ago and now Zayne?
Maybe my phone is starting to give out, it is an older model after all…
So I decided to maybe get it checked next week since I can't afford to buy a new one just now… That would be a big fucking issue and I don't think I could deal with the mental consequences of being cut off from my digital husbands, as fucked up as that might sound.
So I spend the next two hours lounging on the sofa, swapping my attention between the TV and the show that's running on there or my phone, playing through their new cards (and cursing myself for not doing that at home where I could've used the help from my vibrator) because damn… They really outdid themselves with the new banner, especially seeing Zayne so… unhinged.
I couldn't stop the little snort I gave when I returned back to the home screen to exactly that guy, sitting in the recliner and holding a book with one hand, glasses perched on his nose when I just saw his card where he went absolutely feral.
"Who would've thought that you have that wild side to you, Zaynie?… I wish I could experience that in real life…"
To my surprise, he actually answers me in that nonchalant voice of his.
"Another demand of yours? I'm all ears."
The gasp I was gasping at that moment? Sometimes I could swear they know exactly what we are saying in real life and that scares and excites me at the same damn time. Also it didn't help the blush that secretly crept up my cheeks, warming my face a little. Looking at the time I quickly closed the app, because whatever the fuck that was just threw me completely off.
So distracting myself with making dinner was my way to go, so I pushed myself off the cozy couch and went back into the kitchen to do exactly that.
It didn't take long for the smell of freshly cooked Lasagna to waft through the apartment, the clock showing it's 7:36 PM now, the dish shoved into the oven to bake for another thirty minutes. Just as I cleaned the used kitchen utensils in the sink, the sound of the door opening echoed through the hallway.
"Honey! I'm homeeeee!" Rosa's happy voice filtered through the house and I abandoned the dishes ASAP.
I just came out of the kitchen when she turned around the corner, resulting in me literally crashing into her and throwing my arms around her neck, squealing like a little kid.
"Ugh I am so glad you're back!" She doesn't even let me finish the sentence before she hugs me equally tight back but with just one arm, since she carries a shopping bag on the other, the sound of glass clinking clearly loud enough to make me pull back a bit.
"Duh. And I am so happy to be back too, it smells delicious by the way. You seriously don't wanna become my wife?" The huge ass grin on her face makes me smile back at her as well.
"Maybe in the future when I don't find a handsome and nice husband. You're not rocking enough dick for my taste."
That earns me a giggle from her before she side-steps me and enters the kitchen, putting down the shopping bag on the counter and starts taking out the wine bottles and the Tequila.
"I mean… I can definitely find a solution for that problem but I get it… I am just the second choice." She sighs playfully and I just roll my eyes at her dramatics. I can't help but eye the whole fucking winery she brought back home and one of my brows slightly pulls up when I look at her.
"Damn. You really wanna get me drunk, huh?"
"Yup, that's the plan. That will make the demon summoning later waaaaaaay more fun."
Oh yeah. I forgot about that part.
"Alrighty witch-bitch. But before we start getting drunk as fuck we should eat the Lasagna I prepared just for you."
Just as I turn around towards the oven I hear her loud moan until she stands beside me, looking to the dish baking longingly.
"Fuck yeah, I was excited for your homemade food all the way. Let me grab the plates."
I felt like I was 17 again. A huge ass grin on my face, a full stomach and the euphoric feeling of the alcohol thrumming through my veins, making me all giggly.
Rosa was not doing any better, her cheeks pink from the amount we drank already and her wording sounding slightly slurred. We had two and a half empty bottles of wine and the tequila was already halfway gone as well, overall a pretty good night so far.
We talked about all the shit that happened while she was gone, I only told her bits and pieces about the shit going on with Noah because every time I thought about him it left a bitter taste in my mouth. And we were having so much fun that I refused to let him destroy that little bit of peace I had left.
Rosa went on telling me all about her trip to that fancy new academy that has been built on the other side of the country and how she has been invited to actually take a position as a teacher there. Though she declined that offer, saying she's not in the mood for teaching a bunch of horny teenager brats (her words not mine). It was light conversation and it definitely helped with the gnawing sadness at the back of my mind.
"Soooooo…. Are you ready to test out that suuuuuuuper awesome spell book I got?" Rosa muses and wiggles her eyebrows, making me chuckle.
"Duh! Though what if the hot sex demon we want to summon turns out to be a fat 40-year old demon that lectures us about taxes?"
This time it was Rosa's turn to chuckle and she jumped up from the couch, slightly wobbly on her feet but she catches herself in no time, walking out of the living room only to return with the book and a few extra items we presumably need for "the summoning".
"If it's a fat 40-year old I'll just make a call to Lucifer and ask him if he's fucking with me right now." The way she says it makes you think she actually is serious about that and truth be told? I am not entirely sure if she really isn't.
So I watch as she begins to clear the small coffee table to make space for whatever she needs to do in order to make that shit work. The wine glasses clinking a bit louder as she nearly shatters them followed by a simple "Ooops" which makes me snort. She begins drawing a magical circle on the table with the black salt which, I'm not even sure where it's from. Followed by a few other things, glass shards, a black feather, a small ruby, a small vial with jasmine flowers, another vial with something glittery in it, a fish scale among other things.
It takes her a little while until everything is arranged to her liking and she nods, clearly proud of herself and that just makes me laugh again.
"All ready to go, oh mighty witch?" I give her a pointed look, one brow slightly raised.
She hums for a moment before looking at me with a huge grin.
"Yup!" She says while popping the p loudly.
So she makes me sit across from her at the small coffee table before pouring us another round of tequila, handing me the glass without spilling a single drop even though we're both more than tipsy. Without waiting she holds up her glass to me, waiting for me to do the same.
"To us and the sex demons we will summon!" She declares loudly and I have to keep myself from laughing so I don't spit out the drink all over her, all while she downs her drink with a smirk.
"Alrighty bitch, listen up." She slurs slightly. "I'm gonna start with the incantation and you'll just repeat after me, got it?"
I just nod along, trying to focus a bit more so I'll be able to properly repeat after her, since she gave all of it so much thought, that's the least I can do. And so she reaches for my hands and grabs them with hers, holding them on each side of the magical circle she drew. So I just closed my eyes and went with the flow of it.
When time and space warps around,
hearts and souls are getting bound.
When reality starts to shift,
do not refuse what is your gift.
For everything will be changed,
and everything you knew won't be the same.
So let fate be your guide,
when the two worlds of yours collide.
Be prepared for what will be,
for when your soul truly will be free.
With every word I repeat after Rosa I could swear my limbs felt… heavier. At first I just blamed the alcohol running through my veins but as we continued with the incantation I could feel the shift in the air, as if it became charged with something powerful.
Our hands were still entwined and even if I wanted to, I couldn't take them from her. I slowly started to open up my eyes and I froze, Rosa's hair was slightly hovering in the air, as if electricity kept it floating, she looked… Ethereal like this. Her eyes were still closed and she started repeating the incantation again and again, though her voice started to sound kinda off… As if she wasn't really here anymore, but before I could say something, the magical circle between us began to glow in a soft light, making me gasp quietly as I watched it.
Every corner of the drawing started to glow, one after the other until all of them were lit up, meeting at the symbol in the middle which showed six intertwined rings, all connected to each other, bound together without ever being alone.
I swear with every passing second it felt like reality around ourselves was bounding and the gemstone, which was dangling from my necklace, started to pulsate slightly, making me flinch. Okay I am seriously starting to freak out now… It's not the first time I did an incantation with Rosa but it's definitely the first time it actually worked like this.
"Rosa…" I hiss quietly, it feels wrong to interrupt her incantation but the gemstone around my neck starts pulsating even more while she continues repeating the rhymes over and over again, it feels like someone grabbed my necklace and pulled me forward, making me taking a sharp breath as my ribcage presses against the wood from the table, not even the alcohol could dim that sharp pain which blooms across my chest. My gemstone was literally hovering above the circle now and at that point the panic literally set it.
"ROSA!" I don't care that I was now straight up screaming at her, at least it seemed to work because she hazily starts to blink open her eyes, as if she's trying to somehow regain control over her own mind and body. She still repeats the words though I can see the exact moment her brain finally catches up when she stares at the hovering gemstone above the circle while I am still pulled against the table, unable to move. The necklace starts to cut into my skin, making me wince slightly.
"What the actual…" is all she's saying when she suddenly stops repeating the rhymes. And finally… after she stops, the necklace falls loose around my neck again, making me gasp and taking a handful of deep breaths. I fall back against the couch and my hands let go of hers, flying up to my neck and touching the raw skin there until I look at her, eyes wide.
And Rosa? She looks like she's seen a fucking ghost, well… That makes two of us I guess.
Her green eyes slowly look up until she meets mine and she blinks a few times, still as shocked as I am.
"Well fuck me. I didn't think it would work." She laughs breathless until she starts looking around, the circle finally stopping to glow as well.
"Oh yeah? At least when we actually did summon a sex demon, I live to tell the tale." I cough up slightly, my neck still hurting and she looks at me a little sheepishly before eyeing the gemstone around my neck.
"I always knew that thing was magical!" Well she at least sounds more excited about this than I am. But after calming down a bit I can't deny that I feel the thrill as well, because it sure as fuck wasn't some illusion. We definitely did something magical, though the question remains… What actually happened there?
We spent the next thirty minutes looking around her apartment, looking for… I don't even know honestly… A demon? A ghost? An Angel maybe? Was it stupid? 100% Did we still search for something we magically summoned? Abso-fucking-lutely.
But after searching for fifteen more minutes and not finding anything we let ourselves fall back onto the couch with an equally annoyed groan.
"All that fucking effort for nothing. That sucks." Rosa is literally pouting beside me, grabbing the bottle of tequila and another wine bottle as well.
I slightly bump my shoulder against hers, giving her smile, making her look at me.
"Well at least we proved that you really are a bad ass fucking witch, huh?" That earns me a grin from my bestie while she refills our glasses, handing me mine.
"Fuck yeah I am and that's a reason to celebrate."
So we fucking did celebrate. Even though we didn't summon a hot sex-demon like we hoped to, at least we now had a unforgettable memory about her actually doing magical shit and that excited me nonetheless. It didn't take us long to nearly empty out every single bottle she brought until we were completely drunk out of our minds.
The last thing I remember is falling asleep on the couch.
And the magical circle flaring up once more before falling completely still.
Soft hands touched my forehead, pushing away a few strands that fell over my eyes.
"Finally…" is the only thing that soft voice says, echoing through my subconscious state, making me mumble in my sleep and nuzzle against the soft hand. But…
Wait… Is there someone in Rosa's house?