Archive of Our Own

“And if the group wants any hints, I’ll be listening! I just need you all to wave at that camera,” Dave—or maybe it had been Dan?— said, pointing at a camera mounted by the ceiling of the escape room. “But I do need all of you to agree you want a hint or I can’t give you one, alright?” He glanced at everyone, making sure they all nodded in acknowledgment. “Any last questions?”

There was a pause as the group looked around at each other, but when no one spoke up, Dave/Dan grinned. “Awesome! Your hour starts once the door closes behind me. Good luck with your art heist!”

Will sighed as Beverly and Jimmy burst into action. When Jack had suggested—well, more like told—the forensics team that they were all going to go to an escape room for a “team building exercise”, the two of them had easily been the most excited, so it wasn’t surprising. Brian was staring at a painting on the wall, but for the most part seemed uninterested. Hannibal looked amused, watching Beverly and Jimmy, but saying nothing and Jack looked a little taken aback at how much energy they had. 

Will just wanted to go home. If he’d had his way, he wouldn’t be here at all, but Jack had planned this for a time that Will would be with them on a case—and specifically one out-of-state—just so he wouldn’t have any excuse to get out of it. 

“This painting is an optical illusion. There’s a face in it,” Jimmy called out to nobody in particular.

”Any numbers?” Beverly asked as she felt around the frames of a large painting on another wall. “There’s a three-number combination lock over by the fireplace.”

”No. Just the face,” Jimmy said, tilting his head. “Z, come look at this and tell me if I’m crazy or if it looks like Einstein.”

Brian stopped messing with a small bust of a skull—one of three on the fireplace mantle—and went over to him. “Yeah, that’s definitely Einstein,” he confirmed after a moment.

”Thanks, baaaaayrian,” Jimmy said, voice going funny at the end.

Brian cleared his throat awkwardly, turning away to fiddle with a chess set that only had half of its playing pieces.

Beverly looked over at Will, raising an eyebrow and smirking. Will just looked back at her, confused until she pointedly nodded back at Jimmy and Brian and it hit him. Jimmy had almost called Brian “babe”. Will shot a look at Beverly that he hoped read as him asking “Really?” and she shrugged in a way that Will interpreted to mean “Apparently”.

”This painting has a chess board,” Hannibal said quietly, causing Beverly and Jimmy to both gasp and run over to him. They immediately started talking over each other to direct Brian to move the real chess pieces into the same positions shown in the painting.

”How long ago did you actually notice that?” Will asked Hannibal as the man moved closer to him to get away from the chaos.

Hannibal’s eyes glinted in amusement. “Are you accusing me of having withheld valuable insight from our team?”

“More or less than ten minutes?” 

“We’ve only been in here for twelve,” Hannibal pointed out, which didn’t in any way answer Will’s question.

Will just rolled his eyes, trying to block out how loudly Beverly and Jimmy were cheering as a drawer under the chess table opened. ”I know better than to underestimate you, Doctor Lecter. And it’s only been twelve minutes since our time started. We’ve technically been in here for longer than that. Don’t tell me you weren’t looking around during our briefing.”

Hannibal nodded in acquiescence. 

“What the fuck is this supposed to be?” Jimmy exclaimed, holding a laminated piece of paper.

Jack sighed. “Just a reminder that this is technically a work event and we need to use appropriate language.”

Brian snorted. “Jack, we swear in the lab all the time and, even if we didn’t, we say an awful lot of shit that’s not swear words that definitely wouldn’t be considered ‘appropriate language’ to most other professions.”

“I do think that at the average office job, you would probably get sent to HR if you started talking in detail about organ harvesters,” Jimmy quipped, holding his paper in front of different paintings and seeming to be trying to determine if whatever design was on it lined up with anything.

“Or…shit. What do you call hickeys again, Will?” Beverly asked, barely glancing over at him as she stared at the painting above the fireplace.

Will sighed. “A ‘suck bruise’. I’m not the only one who calls them that, though.”

Brian made a gagging noise, then nudged Beverly. “Only two of the skulls are in the painting.”

”I could kiss you,” she muttered as she started fussing with the skulls and a painting on the wall that had apparently been on a hinge popped open.

Jimmy tensed, but otherwise gave no sign he was displeased as he headed over to check it out. He then was much more openly displeased as he looked inside and huffed. “It’s a safe. Three-number combo for the lock on this one too.”

“Three of these frames are numbered,” Jack noted, causing Jimmy and Beverly to both sprint towards him—Beverly almost knocking Brian over and having to leap over a bench in the middle of the room on her way. 

Will turned back to Hannibal, not interested in listening to Jack scold them. “Notice anything else?”

”A few things,” Hannibal said vaguely. “You haven’t?”

Will shrugged. ”I’m ‘people watching’ more than investigating. I know this is lower stakes than a crime scene, but it’s still a bit too close to our actual work for it to be something I would enjoy in my free time.”

Across the room, Beverly groaned. “They’re just numbered 1-3. What the fuck are we supposed to do with that? Those can’t be the numbers for the lock.”

Jimmy was pivoting between the three paintings, brows furrowed. “There must be a number hidden somewhere in the actual paintings then. Or something they all have in common.”

Will could feel Hannibal watching him and—though he shouldn’t—he wanted to impress him, so he compared the paintings to each other and leaned over to murmur, just quietly enough so only Hannibal would hear, “They’re all portraits. Different mediums, different art styles…the only thing in common is that they all have people. Count the people in each of the three paintings and get your three number combination.”

Hannibal nodded, looking pleased that Will had come to the same conclusion as him. “I believe that’s it as well.”

The two continued exchanging amused looks as they watched Beverly, Jimmy, and Jack study the paintings. Though none of them spoke, their growing frustration was obvious. 

After the tension had built to an uncomfortable level, Brian—who was lounging on the bench Beverly had jumped over—sighed dramatically. “Can we just ask for a hint?”

Jack looked ready to agree, but Beverly and Jimmy both immediately—and very loudly—shot the idea down, so Brian shrugged. “Alright, well, what if we just try every combination of three numbers?”

Hannibal gently cleared his throat, earning the attention of the room. “There would be 729 possibilities if you decide to try that method. It may not be the most efficient option.”

“And, more importantly,” Beverly added, looking sternly at Brian, “It’s cheating. We need to actually solve it.”

Brian groaned, turning to Jimmy. “Can you back me up here, honeuuuuuh-“ he turned bright red as he tried—and failed miserably—to turn the word into something that could believably not be “honey”.

At Jimmy’s look of panic, Beverly jumped in. “Sorry, darling, it’s not happening. Sweetheart?” she continued, looking to Will with a delighted expression. “Any input?”

As much as Will wasn’t always the biggest fan of Brian, he did genuinely like Jimmy, so decided to play along. He wasn’t happy about it, though. “I think we should try counting the people in each of the paintings…dear.” 

“Will, my love, you’re a genius,” Beverly praised, beaming as she spun back around to face the paintings. “Babe,“ she addressed Brian—and Will had to suppress a laugh at how exasperated Jimmy was beginning to look and how clearly confused Jack was now—, “Could you put the combo in?”

Brian was clearly trying to hide his relief as he bolted up to go to the lock. “Of course, beautiful.”

”This is ridiculous,” Will muttered under his breath.

”It’s certainly a method of team building that I don’t think that Jack was expecting, mylimasis,” Hannibal replied, barely suppressing a smile.

Will couldn’t help but roll his eyes, even as he felt himself blushing. He had no idea what Hannibal had just called him, but the way he said it was enough to be able to guess that he was playing along with Beverly’s plan to cover for Jimmy and Brian. ”Really? Et tu, Brute?” 

“I don’t get to join in on the fun, gražuolis?”

”Jack isn’t even listening to us,” Will pointed out, a fact that was emphasized as Jack had to start de-escalating a rapidly intensifying argument about what to do with a magnet that had just been discovered. 

“Ma mi sto divertendo, cuore mio,” Hannibal said, looking like he was enjoying it far too much when Will blushed even harder.

Not understanding what Hannibal was saying didn’t mean that the tone he said it in wasn’t still affecting him. And the tone was definitely blush-worthy.

Somehow managing not to stutter, Will said, “That…wasn’t the same language as the first one.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Will startled as Jimmy swore loudly. Glancing over, he saw that they had opened a second door that revealed a locked trunk and-

”Two locks? Jesus Christ, we only have twenty-five minutes left. Fuck. We’re so not getting out of here.”

”Well, not with that attitude, sugar lips-“ Beverly began.

”Katz,” Jack warned.

Will tuned them out again and asked Hannibal, “How many languages do you speak?”

“Besides English and Lithuanian, I’m fluent in Italian, French, Japanese, and Spanish. I do also speak Portuguese, Russian, German, and Polish passably. And—though it’s far more useful for reading than conversing—Latin.”

Apparently Brian had been eavesdropping, because he wandered over, saying “Show off,” good-naturedly to Hannibal, and then slung an arm around Will’s shoulder. “Hey, pookie-bear.”

”Can you not?” Will cringed.

”Aw, love muffin, don’t be like that,” Brian teased. “Can you come do your magic thing and help us for a second? Jimmy’s losing his mind right now and I need us to make it out of here in time because he makes me sleep on the couch when he’s in a bad mood.”

“We all have separate motel rooms for the case,” Will deadpanned, then pointedly shrugged Brian’s arm off, putting a more appropriate amount of space between them. 

Brian looked unbothered. ”Well, I can’t sleep alone anymore, so we always share anyway and just don’t tell Jack that the FBI is paying for an extra room. So, unless you’re going to let me cuddle with you tonight…Houdini it up please.”

”It’s not magic. I can’t just-,” Will mimed waving a wand. “It doesn’t work like that. What I do is profiling. I can’t profile an escape room. An escape room doesn’t have a motive.”

”Doctor Lecter?” Brian shot Hannibal a pleading look. “Help a guy out?”

”Oh, you’re not going to harass him with stupid pet names?” Will hissed as Hannibal headed over to see if he could point Jimmy and Beverly in the right direction. 

Brian looked at Will like he was stupid. “No. I actually respect Doctor Lecter.”

Will just raised an eyebrow, but didn’t take the bait. Choosing instead to ask, “So, how long have you and Jimmy been together?”

Brian shrugged, aiming to look casual, but he was clearly happy being able to talk about their relationship. ”About four years, on and off. Solidly on for the last two years and some change. I have no idea how neither of us have slipped up until now, but it’s probably about time we’re open about it. The wedding’s in a few months.”

Will just stared at him for a minute, trying to determine whether or not he was joking. “Holy shit. You’re serious.”

“Yup,” Brian confirmed. “I’d say that I’m sorry you weren’t invited, but we didn’t start getting along until like a month ago and even now…”

”No apology necessary. You wouldn’t have been invited to my secret wedding either,” Will assured him. “Bev’s gonna kill you, though.”

Brian cringed. “Yeah, I am really not looking forward to that conversation. I’ll probably let Jimmy handle it. He’s better with…feelings.”

Will rolled his eyes. Poor Jimmy. ”Awfully kind of you.”

”Hey, he knows what he’s signing up for,” Brian defended himself.

”And he still said yes? Are we sure he passed the FBI psych evaluation?”

”Graham, keep the questions about my fiancé’s sanity to yourself until you pass the FBI psych evaluation.”

Will decided not to point out that you can’t retake it if you don’t pass the first time. “I passed Hannibal’s psych evaluation. That’s close enough.”

Brian snorted. “That doesn’t count.”

”It counts enough for Jack,” Will countered.

”Jack would’ve blown the entire FBI budget bribing Doctor Lecter to sign off on your papers if he had to. He didn’t care how legit the sign-off was. Just that you got one.”

”Hannibal has more money than he knows what to do with and, more importantly, morals. He wouldn’t have taken a bribe,” Will argued.

”Not that bribe, sure,” Brian agreed. “But Jack offered one unintentionally. Doctor Lecter signed your crime scene field-trip permission slip and now he gets to spend more time with you. He’s doing that for free, by the way. I overheard him telling Jack that the FBI doesn’t need to pay for your sessions. This is probably being funded by some of the money the department is saving because of that, actually,” he mused, gesturing at the room. 

Will wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to any of that. He didn’t like having it confirmed that Hannibal had rubber stamped him. Even though he had already been aware of it, it wasn’t fun hearing that other people saw it too. But the idea that it was because Hannibal had feelings for him? Well, that he didn’t really mind.

Assuming it was right, of course. 

But, even if it was, then there was the question of how deep those feelings ran. Hannibal making Will’s therapy sessions free didn’t necessarily mean much. Hannibal was wealthy enough where he probably didn’t ever have to work again if he didn’t want to. Not being paid for their sessions wasn’t as much of a sacrifice as it would be to most people. And he had never expressed an interest in Will that could be definitively read as anything more than platonic. Even with the flirting today, Hannibal could just be playing along with Beverly’s plan. All of it could just be friendliness. Or boredom. Or something that did mean something, but not as much as Will wanted it to mean.

”I’m a little disappointed that this is the first time that Jack is using that money on us,” Brian continued, ignoring the small crisis that he had set off in Will. “Bev looked up how much Doctor Lecter usually charges for sessions and Jack easily could’ve…thrown us a pizza party or something. Actually, with what he’s theoretically saving, he could just fly us all to Italy for pizza there.” 

“Navigating an airport together would be a great team building exercise. You should suggest it,” Will said absently, trying to think of any signs of Hannibal’s interest he may have missed that Brian had apparently seen.

“You know, maybe I should invite you to the wedding. I don’t think Doctor Lecter would come without you and I bet he gives killer wedding presents.”

”I do,” Hannibal’s voice pulled Will’s focus entirely back into the room. “Have you selected a honeymoon destination? I’d be more than happy to finance and organize the trip for you.” 

Brian seemed at a loss for words.

Will could relate. 

“What’re the odds we’ll be making it out in time?” Will finally asked after a moment of silence. 

“Slim to none, I’m afraid,” Hannibal answered. “There was yet another locked box inside of the trunk and, despite their enthusiasm, Agent Katz and Agent Price are struggling to coordinate with each other. Jack seems to be trying out what can be best described as a ‘gentle parenting’ technique and it’s not as effective as I believe he hoped it would be.”

”That had to have been Alana’s idea,” Will muttered.

”She’s never been a fan of Jack’s usual style of leadership,” Hannibal confirmed quietly. “She’s been encouraging him for some time now to veer away from the more ‘tough love’ approach.”

Will was barely able to hold back laughter. “That’s quite a diplomatic way to phrase it.”

“What month is the wedding?” Hannibal asked, and it took a moment for Will to realize he was now addressing Brian again.

It took Brian a moment too, but eventually he replied, “April. Jimmy wanted it outdoors.”

Hannibal hummed, considering. “Southern France is lovely in April. Do you both have passports?”

Brian looked at him in disbelief. ”Doc, come on. You can’t be serious.”

”Can’t I be?” Hannibal looked amused that Brian was trying to “call his bluff”. Will had no idea why Brian would ever think that he was bluffing. They had already agreed that Hannibal was wealthier than anyone had need to be. It was entirely possible that he’d spent more money than the entire trip would cost on just one suit. Why would he not be sincere about the offer? 

“Just say yes, Zeller,” Will said before Brian could try to come up with any kind of argument. “Jimmy will literally never forgive you if you turn this down.”

Brian glanced over at Jimmy and sighed. “You’re right. Thank you, Doctor Lecter.”

Hannibal looked very smug for a man who just had to convince someone to let him spend several thousands dollars on them—not that most people would have to be pressured into accepting the offer. Maybe the novelty of someone being reluctant to accept money from him made it all the more fun. 

“Will, sweetums!” Beverly called out. “Could you give us a hand?”

Will fought to keep from looking too annoyed as he headed over to where she and Jimmy had spread part of a deck of cards across the floor. “Of course, Bev. How can I help?”

“You’re the best, hot stuff.” She greeted, sounding frazzled but also genuinely grateful. “There’s a safe with a four digit combo and we know it’s made up of one number from a card of each suite, but not which cards. They all have faces, but the only one I’m sure we’re supposed to use is this one.” She held up a three of hearts with Albert Einstein’s face, which made sense since he had been in the painting Jimmy had noticed when they had first started.

Will glanced around, checking all the portraits again. None of the faces in them were distinct enough to be identifiable as anyone. “Alright, so they’re somewhere less obvious. Are any of the cards people who are on any type of currency that could be hidden in a painting?”

Jimmy immediately grabbed a card, practically vibrating from excitement, “Lincoln. We’re looking for pennies then?”

“Makes sense.” Will shrugged. He didn’t want to sound too sure in case he was wrong. “I’d check to see if there’s coins anywhere.”

Beverly nodded, already scrambling up to go look. “God, I love you.”

“So,” Will said quietly, turning to Jimmy. “How’re you going to tell her about the wedding?”

Jimmy groaned. “Please don’t remind me I have to do that. Also please don’t let her know you found out before her. She’ll probably want to kill me even without finding out that you knew first.”

“Why’d you keep it from her for so long?” That was something Will couldn’t figure out. Keeping it from Jack or any other higher ups made sense, but Beverly wouldn’t have told anyone. 

“Z didn’t want to let her win,” Jimmy said, then seemed to realize that that didn’t actually explain anything, so continued. “She’d been trying to set us up since we all started working together. He was convinced that if she found out that we actually had started dating, that she’d be insufferable.”

That wasn’t an unreasonable assumption. Beverly had a tendency to gloat. It was endearing when not directed towards you, but incredibly frustrating when it was. But- “Four years though?”

“I know.” Jimmy looked genuinely pained. “I just-have you ever tried saying no to Z?”

“Uh, yeah. Pretty often. I find it very easy. Enjoyable, even, sometimes.”

Beverly dropped down next to them again, frantically searching through the cards, grinning triumphantly when she found the one she was looking for. “Bingo. Found some pennies and one of the paintings has Shakespeare’s name instead of a signature. Three out of four found.”

“Oh my god,” Jimmy muttered, sounding embarrassed. He held up a card with Thomas Edison on it. “There was only ever one diamond card. Make that four out of four.”

Will made a valiant effort to smile encouragingly, but may have looked more like he was wincing. He glanced over at Jack who seemed at a loss for words and in need of a drink. Or several. 

After glancing at their timer to see that they had less than ten minutes to escape and—if he had just heard Beverly correctly—at least one more puzzle to solve before being able to do so, Will shot Jimmy a sympathetic look before heading back over to Brian and Hannibal.

“Hey schnookums,” Brian greeted Will, who glared at him. 

Hannibal hadn’t tired of the pet names either, apparently. “Welcome back, cariño.”

Will just sighed. “Are we really not done with that? Come on, Hannibal. I guess I know better than to expect Zeller to drop it, but you too?”

Hannibal didn’t seem deterred by Will’s frustration as he said, “Si la belleza fuera un pecado, tu no tendrías perdón de Dios.”

Brian snorted and muttered, “Really?”

Hannibal shot him a reproachful look—causing him to mime zipping his lips, though he didn’t actually look at all apologetic as he then also mimed dunking a basketball in what was presumably his version of “throwing away the key”.

Will glanced between the two of them, unsure what was happening and surprised that Brian apparently spoke Spanish? “‘Dios’? That’s ‘god’ isn’t it? Are you giving me a lecture on theology in Spanish right now?”

“No, but I could.” Hannibal replied, looking delighted at the prospect. “In Colombia, there’s a popular saying—‘el que reza y peca, empata’—which roughly translates to-“

“Better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission,” Brian interrupted. 

Hannibal sighed. “A bit of an oversimplification and not the most exact translation, but I suppose not entirely inaccurate in spirit.”

“The more simply something is put, the less room there is for misinterpretation,” Brian said, shooting him a pointed and very frustrated look. 

Will knew he was missing something. Brian wouldn’t look this annoyed about theology. “Hannibal?”

Instead of giving any type of reply that could be considered a direct explanation of what was happening, Hannibal just said, “Si tu pouvais lire dans mon coeur, tu verrais la place où je t’ai mise.” 

Will froze for a second. He had understood that one. 

If only you could read in my heart, the place where I have put you. 

It was much less like the teasing type of flirting that Will had assumed Hannibal had been doing and much more…substantial. Much more like the type of things that Will had only dared to hope Hannibal would ever say to him. 

“I should probably let you know…j’ai grandi à New Orleans. Je parle français couramment.” I grew up in New Orleans. I speak French fluently.

Hannibal’s face went carefully blank, which Will was pretty sure meant he was panicking. 

Before he eased any of Hannibal’s worry, though, Will had to ease his own. “How seriously did you mean that?”

Will could practically see Hannibal calculating the risk in his head before the man responded, ”I’ve never been anything but serious with you, Will. Or about you.”

Will ignored Brian muttering “Fucking finally” and replied, “In that case…Tu serais dispo samedi soir pour dîner?” Are you available Saturday evening for dinner?

If Hannibal was at all surprised, he recovered quickly. “Á chez moi?” At my house?

As if Will would ever expect Hannibal to agree to them eating anywhere else. He doubted the man ate food prepared by anyone beside him, barring an emergency. 

“How’s 7 sound?”

“That’s perfect,” Hannibal said, his smile making Will desperately wish they weren’t several hours away from Baltimore for this case so that they didn’t have to wait until Saturday. 

“Can you repeat all of that but slower?” Brian muttered, tearing both of them away from the moment and reminding them they weren’t alone. At some point, Brian had apparently pulled out a pen and was writing on his arm. “Too…sir…aye…”

”Are you…writing down what we said phonetically?” Will asked.

”Yup,” Brian confirmed with no shame. “I don’t speak French, but Jimmy knows a bit and I figure if I combine gossip and a puzzle without a time limit…”

”That he’ll be less upset when we don’t make it out of the escape room in time?” Hannibal surmised. 

”That’s the hope. So…in the name of love? Encore?” Brian looked at them with puppy dog eyes that probably only seriously worked on Jimmy.

”Well,” Will looked at Hannibal. “It would be a shame if you had to call your wedding off when I only just got invited today.”

”It would, wouldn’t it?” Hannibal replied, looking back at him fondly. 

Thankfully, even if their remaining time in the room wasn’t long enough for them to be able to escape, it was more than enough for Will and Hannibal to make sure that Brian’s attempt at phonetics was good enough where it would be decipherable to someone who wasn’t fluent.

“Good luck, Zeller,” Will told Brian as he followed Hannibal to slip out of the building, knowing he would need it. 

And if he grabbed Hannibal’s hand as they walked to his Bentley, at least he did it when he knew they were definitely out of Jack’s eyesight. Their secret office romance might not be as secret as Brian and Jimmy’s had been, but Jack wouldn’t be finding out about them on accident.