Chapter Text
It was only supposed to be a prank. Get in, mess with her as, like, a crow or something, and get out.
I’ve zapped myself into people’s memories several times before with a few secret test subjects during class. No one ever notices because I’m too sneaky about it. And then of course there was my whole memory rescue mission when the absolute solver tried to take N and V’s memories again. So really if you think about it, I’m basically a professional.
It doesn’t take much to distract V; anytime I put on a gruesome or gory anime she’s practically glued to the screen. I can’t help but cackle evilly a little when I manage to sneak up behind her and pop the neural link to the side of her head. Rushing over to the computer, I set up a simulation terminal and do the same for myself. Seconds later, the world goes dark.
The moment I wake up I can tell something’s not right. I don’t know if it’s because I messed something up with the configuration, or maybe it’s different because I have admin access now, but when I blink awake I’m just.. me.
Surrounding me is some sort of hedge maze, though the bushes are low enough that even I can see over the tops of them. Confusedly, I take a few steps around a corner and nearly trip over V, who’s kneeling on the ground tending to the plants. “Ohmygosh I’m so sorry, I didn’t-” She pauses when she realizes who I am, and briefly I’m scared she somehow recognizes me.
“What are you wearing? Are.. Are your eyes purple?” Phew, she’s just confused about my appearance, not about me. Hesitantly, she stands up and glances anxiously around. There are a few other drones working in the garden as well, but none of them have noticed me. It’s strangely jarring as she takes me by the arm and hides me around a corner. She’s my own height; we can look eachother in the eye. She looks kinda cute with those big glasses.
“You really need to find your uniform before someone catches you,” V tells me worriedly, “How did you even get something like this?” I blink confusedly. “You mean like one of those dumb little maid dresses? No, I think I’ll stick to my hoodie.” The expression on V’s face is wild. I can’t tell if she’s bewildered, offended, or some other third thing. She shakes her head and again peers around for someone who might notice me looking so out-of place.
“You must be new,” she tries again, “You’re wearing much cooler clothes than I’ve seen anyone wear so I’m guessing Tessa picked you up?” I don’t really understand what’s happening so I just nod. She thinks my outfit’s cool? The real V wouldn’t confess that to me in a million years.
“Good, she can explain everything. You should probably find your way back to her, just try not to let anyone else see you on the way there.” She points me towards the place where this ‘Tessa’ must be.
“Uhh.. thanks?” I try, still confused. “You’re welcome!” She replies with such genuine cheeriness that I walk away speechless. I’ve never heard V like that. Ever. I try to possess a songbird in a nearby tree so I can start messing around, but nothing happens. Worry constricts my core as I try and fail to take over anything — random bugs, plants, even another drone. Nothing works. Angrily, I reach up to the side of my head to tear off the neural link and just start over.
There’s nothing there.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me.” I duck behind a bush and try a few more times to pull myself out of this stupid memory. After a few frantic failed attempts, I push my face into my hands to muffle a scream. “I’m stuck here?!” I yell under my breath, “What am I supposed to do?! No one’s gonna remember who I am!” Actually, if I can get V to remember, that might snap us both out of here…
Right then, I get a sudden and very violent vision of V tearing me to shreds after realizing I got into her head again. “Nope. Nevermind. I’ll find some other way to get out of here. For now I guess I just gotta blend in.” I’m absolutely not going to visit some human about it, though. Guess that means I’m sticking with V.
I wait behind the decorative bush until I catch sight of V seemingly heading inside for the day. Slipping out of hiding, I sneak up beside her while trying to stay out of sight of anyone else. “Hey, so I-” V yelps and stumbles away from me like I grabbed her or something. “Oh! It’s you,” she gasps, “Sorry, I didn’t notice you were there; you really snuck up on me.” “Yeah, listen. I- er- Tessa said that I should, like, shadow you and learn how to do creepy old manor stuff, so I came back here to see you.”
V giggles and shakes her head, “Well, I don’t know about ‘creepy old manor stuff’, but I can help you get situated if that’s what Tessa wants.” I nod, hoping she doesn’t ask me anything more about Tessa, because the only thing I really do know is that she gets used as a skin suit in the future.
“Come on, I’ll help you sort things out for the evening. Oh, I’m V, by the way!” “I know.” Her screen glitches slightly in confusion and she readjusts her glasses. “What?” “I mean uhhh… Tessa told me,” I add quickly, “I’m.. Z.”
I can’t risk giving her my real name and having her recognize me because of it, so I stick to the one letter names that the others seem to have. V guides me into the manor and takes me aside to a smaller room. The walls are lined with washers and driers as well as a sink or two, and in the center are several bins of laundry. V reaches to the bottom of a nearly empty one and pulls out a frilly maid dress; I try not to cringe as she holds it up to me.
“Try this one on. Drones are always coming and going so there’s always a few extra uniforms laying around.” I take it, but hold it away from myself at an arm’s length. “Do I really have to?” I groan, “I’m gonna look stupid.” “Yes, you do,” V tells me sternly, pointing towards a curtained-off area to change. “And on the contrary, I think you’ll look very pretty.” Reluctantly, I shuffle my way behind the curtain — if only to hide the idiotic smile on my face after being called ‘pretty’.
After about ten minutes of me wrestling with a million layers of frilly fabric, V gives up on me and steps in to help me put the thing on. “It’s not my fault this thing is the most confusing piece of clothing ever. And I don’t care what you say, I’m keeping my combat boots.” She frowns at me with an exhausted look, readjusts the bow on my neck, then nods satisfactorily at her work.
Next, we head towards ‘the Hall’ where she tells me we’ll be sleeping. It pains me to leave behind my hoodie, but I have to remind myself it’s only a simulation. I’m still technically wearing the real one.
It seems like everyone is headed to the same place we are. As we head deeper inside, more groups of drones step out of all parts of the manor. Some are talking through their day, others are comparing their schedules; a few younger drones start chasing eachother around before getting scolded after one runs directly into a wall while they were looking behind them.
“So is this like the only place to hang out in the whole building?” I ask V as we walk together. She thinks for a moment. “Sort of, yes. It’s the only place where we’re considered ‘off duty’. But also, we do have a curfew here. Everyone has to be behind the doors by ten, before they lock us in for the night.”
“They what?!” I gasp a little too loudly. Other drones around us give me weird looks, but I ignore them. “They lock you in? What is this, a prison?” That was meant to be sarcastic, but V sighs like it’s a genuine comparison. “No, it’s still much nicer; you just have to be careful to always be on your best behavior.”
I’m debating on whether or not to ask what happens if someone isn’t on their best behavior — because chances are that’ll be me — but I get distracted by the cutest little worker dro- Wait a second… “N!” I gasp, nearly jumping onto him, “Where have you been? I was-” I was hoping you could help me tolerate this memory simulation where you definitely know who I am! Right.
“Uhh, I’m sorry, do I know you?” he asks me, head tilting confusedly to the side. “I- Nevermind. Thought you were someone else.” Embarrassment makes my screen burn as I duck away back over to V, who was thankfully distracted talking to another worker. I stick by her for the rest of the night.
Together we set up a cot for me beside hers in a large bustling room of about 30 or so drones. This is ‘the Hall’. The room itself is kinda empty, but there are a few decorations scattered around that look like they were made in people’s spare time. V’s cot is surrounded on both sides by stacks of books, and the occasional lopsided paper crane or flower.
“Do you like them?” she asks after catching me staring. V holds out a little bird to me, “You can have one if you want! They’re not the best, though. I’m still figuring out how to make them.” I take the tiny bird with a small ‘thanks’ and carry it with me as she shows me where to get a clean blanket and pillow from.
The next day goes by pretty easily. V and I basically just talk most of the time while we’re forced to dust stuff or whatever. She goes on some long tangent about a book series she’s been reading recently, and I partially ignore her. However, about ten minutes in I realize I recognize the plot — her book is actually what one of the older shows I’ve watched is based on. It’s fun getting to hear her predictions about the characters I like; I do my best not to spoil that one of her favorites is gonna die.
When we finish working, she sneaks me off to the library. We pass rows and rows of shelves filled with books and random gaudy trinkets until we reach a studying nook. Polished wood-paneled walls glimmer in the late afternoon sun, making the place glow without any artificial light at all. A large desk sits in its center, carved out of the same golden-brown wood, facing floor-to-ceiling windows that showcase the whole garden like a giant living painting.
While it kinda sucks to work here, sometimes I come across a room I have to admit looks pretty sick. Hell, I’ve rarely ever seen sunlight before — nevermind something as intricate as this.
I glance over my shoulder to watch V double triple check to see if anyone’s around before turning back to me. “What I’m about to show you, you can’t tell anyone about, okay? I mean it.” I quickly nod and join her in checking for potential bystanders. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” “Cross your circuitry if you do?” I follow her as she crosses the room to the far wall. “Cross my circuitry.”
She gives me an excited grin, then puts a hand to one of the wooden panels and pushes it aside. It slides open to reveal a small crawlspace. V quickly ducks inside, motioning for me to follow her. The second I’m in, she pulls the panel back into place. It’s pitch dark in here, lit only by our faces. V’s glasses reflect her screen, making shimmering flecks of light drift across the walls with each movement. Then, a lamp flickers on, and I can see the cozy little spot she’s set up for herself. A few very old-looking pillows are tucked into a corner, and a small pack of batteries for snacking on sits atop a worn notebook.
“I think it’s supposed to be for storing stuff in the study, but no one uses it,” V explains, “It was empty even when I found it. I doubt anyone even knows you can move the wooden panel like that.” I watch as she pushes aside the pillows, searching for something.
“This is actually really awesome, V,” I admit. Honestly, I thought she was just taking me to see a cool book or something. “Here’s the series we were talking about earlier!” She holds up three books like she’s fanning out a deck of cards. I sigh with a smile — of course, it is cool books. How the hell she went from this little nerd to a mass murderer is beyond me.
I’m shockingly exhausted by the time I flop onto my bed that night. I forget it’s only a cot and nearly break it as I fall onto it, making V giggle. As I fall asleep, I send up a silent hope that somehow I’ll wake up out of the simulation. Today was.. alright, but a lot of this stuff is foreign to me. Copper 9 is all about efficiency and modernity; there’s no room for old classy places like this. Plus my stupid little maid dress is pissing me off. I’ve snagged it on random things like five times in the past hour. It sucks.
“Hey, Z?” A whisper breaks my willing-myself-out-of-here concentration. V turns over on her side so she’s facing me, and I do the same. “I don’t know where you were before all of this, but I’m glad you ended up here.”
Something melancholy slowly floods my systems. Robogod, I can’t remember the last time someone told me they were glad to have me anywhere but out of their sight. Even after saving the planet, I’m not the most popular drone. Probably because of all the eating people and being generally antisocial. Which is how I like it! ..most of the time.
I don’t agree with staying here, but… “I had fun hanging out with you today.” V grins, her smile lit up by the slightest blush on her screen. “Me too. If I’m being entirely honest, I tend to get ignored most of the time.” V? Ignored? Yeah, right. Everyone notices when V walks into a room. At least.. they notice the V I know. Sometimes it’s hard to remember they’re even the same drone. This V is so much easier to just talk to.
As the days go by, I slowly adjust to work and a strange schedule. I think I’ve seen at least about 80% of the manor by now. Sometimes it feels like new rooms just appear out of nowhere, though. V still has to give me directions on how to get anywhere.
I usually try to dodge any humans to avoid getting tasked with something. If I do, I try to hurry through it; unless V’s there, or N. He doesn’t remember me, but he’s fun to work with. I avoid J and Cyn at all costs. I know I’m gonna end up strangling J in her sleep if I spend too much time around her, and Cyn… Actually, I haven’t seen her at all, but I definitely don’t want to.
A lot of the time I end up in the giant scrapyard just beyond the estate. It’s kinda haunting, but piles of dead bodies are pretty normal for me, actually. There are plenty of free parts there to let me build whatever ideas come to mind.
Most of my inventions are things that I think will snap me back out of here; I’ve already tried a flash grenade and an emp gun to knock myself out. Obviously I’m still here, so those didn't work.
Sometimes I also create little devices that make manor jobs easier, too. V’s always fascinated by them every time I explain a new one to her. “I don’t know how you even come up with these things, Z,” she tells me after trying out a small machine I made that zaps silver into a perfect polish. “I don’t think I could make one even with instructions.” I laugh, “Bet you could make one out of paper, though.” She’s perfected those little cranes by now. I keep finding them in places I’d expect to find her — little signs that she’s been here recently.
That’s actually what I’m doing today — making a crane out of scrap metal for her. I hope she likes it.. but who am I kidding, she definitely will. Unless it sucks. It’s not gonna suck though.
“Oh, hello? Who are you?” I flinch and whirl around to see a human approach me. “N-nobody! I’m just heading back to the manor right now, actually! I really should actually just go- need to leave.” As quickly as I can I scoop up all the pieces I’ve been working on and backpedal in the direction of the manor. “Wait, you don’t have to go!” the human calls after me. “I won’t tell anyone you were out here if you don’t tell anyone I’m out here.”
I squint at her distrustfully, but I really do want to finish making this thing for V, so I nod and hesitantly put everything back down. “Is that a little bird?” the young human asks, sitting down across from me as I get back to work. “It’s supposed to look like one of those paper birds, yeah,” I answer, not bothering to look up. “Oh! Do you know V? She’d love something like this!” Honestly, I’m pissed off that this human is still hanging around; I kinda like to work on my projects alone. But hearing her say V would like it makes me reconsider telling her to get lost.
“Y-Yeah, I’m making it for her, actually.” The human gasps, “Ohhh! Are you the mysterious ‘Z’ I keep hearing about? V keeps mentioning you assuming I brought you here, but I definitely don’t recall finding you.” Shit. I’ve been caught. This is Tessa? She’s.. a lot less terrifying as a normal human.
“Don’t worry,” she chuckles, “I haven’t told her that you aren’t one of mine. I don’t know how you managed to casually sneak yourself onto the house staff, but V trusts you and I trust her, so stay as long as you like.” I nod silently, deciding not to tell her that I don't care whether she wants me here or not. “Did you need anything from me? To help you get settled in?” I shake my head, “V’s got me covered.”
“I’m honestly glad she has you,” Tessa tells me, spinning a piece of metal between her fingers absentmindedly. “She’s needed a good friend for a while, now. I try to be there for her when I can, but I can only be away for so long before someone notices I’m missing and gets upset. Speaking of which, I should probably be getting back.” Tessa stands, stretches, and takes a few steps towards the manor. “Don’t stay out here too long, alright?” “Sure,” I mumble, caught up in something. “It was nice meeting you, Z!” With that, she walks off and disappears below the hill.
Just as I hoped, V is overjoyed to see my little creation sitting on her cot when she returns from work. “Oh my gosh, Z! Did you make this for me?!” She holds it up to the light and gently turns it over in her hands. “It’s so cute I just want to squeeze it!” Instead, she steps over and squeezes me into a hug. I can feel such a large grin on my face that it hurts. “I’m going to have to get you back for this, you know,” she tells me, readjusting her glasses and picking up the little metal creature. “You won’t get away with this!” She wags a finger at me jokingly.
Laying in bed that night, I try to imagine the V I know in this V’s place. Maybe I should make her something once this is all over, to apologize before she rips me to pieces for this. Would she ever even want to hug me? Now I kinda want her to — just to see if it’s anything like the old her, you know? I’m not being weird about it.. right?
Work the next day seems to take doubly long just to spite me. I keep trying to guess what V might surprise me with. Even N comes by to ask me if I’m alright because I’m being ‘unusually quiet’. Even after I finish work, I stick around the manor today instead of going to the scrapyard, waiting for V.
The only thing that manages to distract me is a ten drones vs one rat chase that’s going on in the the Hall. Almost everyone here is scrambling after the little animal trying to catch it because it’s not supposed to be in here. Honestly, I’m kinda rooting for the rat.
As more drones come in for the night, more people join the chase. Some even start placing bets on who they think will catch the rat, or whether it’ll get away. J gives me a death glare after she trips and eats shit on the floor while I burst into laughter. It’s so entertaining I don’t even realize it’s past curfew.
Only when the lights go out for the night do I realize how late it got. Anxiously, I glance over at V’s empty cot. Did she also lose track of time? I hope she doesn’t get in trouble for it. Did she miss curfew because of the thing she was making for me? Robogod, I hope it isn’t my fault she’s not here.
My silence the following day has an entirely different vibe to it. N seems worried too. I think J is as well? She hasn’t been by to get revenge for last night, so something’s definitely up.
“You doing ok, little buddy?” N asks me during our lunch break. “I know V is-” he clears his throat, “was your friend.” My core drops into my stomach. “What do you mean ‘was’?”
N gives me a concerned look. “You.. haven’t heard? I thought that’s why you looked upset…” “N, you dummy, what happened!? No, I haven't heard anything! I just thought she was missing!” He fidgets anxiously with his tie. “She… They shut her down. There was an accident in the library.” I grab him by the collar and shake him angrily. “And nobody told me?! Bite me! I have to go!” Releasing N, I head for the door and nearly run straight into a human.
“Ugh, watch where you’re going you ghastly little creature.” “You watch where you’re goin-” I then realize who I’m talking to and shut up. The lady of the house herself stands in the doorway, glaring down at me.
“What did you say?” she asks dangerously. I really want to shove her out of the way and keep running until I reach the library, but I know if I do that I’m not gonna make it there. “Well, you can spend the rest of your day scrubbing every speck of dust and dirt in this room.” She slams the door in my face; the sound of a lock clicking with a key rattles through the wood. “Dammit,” I hiss under my breath, kicking the door angrily.
Since N got locked in with me too, he offers to clean things up in my place to let me calm down. I sulk in the corner, but eventually help N for the last little bit. I feel bad for making him do everything.
When we’re finally let out for curfew, he takes me aside. “Go to the library and see her. I’ll cover for you in the hall tonight.” Good mood restored, I hug him tight and thank him for helping out today. “You sure you don’t want to sneak there with me? She’s your friend too.” He shakes his head. “I’ve been there already. I.. I’m sure I’ll visit her again later.”
The manor looks extra sinister and spooky in the dark, putting me on edge the moment I’m left on my own. My wings and tail shoot out like a reflex and I hold them close to myself as I slink down empty hallway after hallway. Cyn doesn’t seem to be home; the eyes of the weird little head on the end of my tail are purple for once. She’s either not part of the simulation, or playing the part of the old Cyn. Is that why I haven’t seen her? I really hope it’s the first thing...
Once I’m inside the library, I lock the doors and hold up my tail like a search light. Immediately, the silhouette of a drone greets me. I freeze thinking I’ve been caught, but it’s only another shut-down worker. Wait, I remember this part. Or.. maybe what I’m remembering happens a little later. I remember these bodies in the library from N’s memories, though they aren’t decaying and covered in fleshy bits yet.
Oh, I’m an idiot. I know V gets shut down, I just didn’t think.. it’d happen on my watch. I know it was bound to happen eventually, but in the moment I feel almost guilty about it. I easily could've protected her.
I round the corner of a bookshelf to where I remember the basement hatch is, but V’s nowhere to be found. “Okay, if she’s not here it’s probably a good thing, right? Cyn hasn't turned her and made her guard it yet?” Whispering to myself is the only thing that reassures me while I wander around the rest of the library in search of V. However, my tail illuminates a shining trail of oil, and I start to panic.
Clutching my tail and wings tightly, I shakily follow the glistening black puddles smeared across the floor over to the other wing. The closer I get to the library’s end, the more oil I find. Everything is incredibly silent in the dead of night when no one’s here. In the complete silence of the empty manor, the eerily muffled sound of crying reaches my processors. I’m almost certain I’m imagining it — it’s so faint — but when my light catches the end of the trail, I drop everything. My extra limbs glitch away as my chest tightens.
Oil oozes out of the cracks in a wooden panel of the study.
I rush over and yank open the secret door so forcefully I almost wrench it off the wall. V’s there. She’s mutated by the solver — wings, tail, claws, everything. She’s alive. Through cracked glasses, I watch her eyes widen into frightened rings. V looks down at the mangled oily corpse in her hands, back up at me, then starts sobbing.
“I- I can’t stop it, I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Please, it’s not what you think, I swear!” she cries. V reaches an oil-soaked hand out to me, only to fearfully tuck it back against herself at the sight of it. “I thought I was dead; what do I do?! I’m too hot and also weirdly cold and I don’t know what’s going on, but I was so hungry I- Why would I eat someone? Z, you have to go! I don’t- I- I can’t hurt you…”
Robogod, I remember how this feels. The agonizing mutation, the blind confusion, an uncontrollable hunger… I duck into the small space and reach to take her hand, but she shoves me back out. “Leave, Z, I’m begging you,” she sobs through a mouthful of tears, “I don’t want to kill you.”
Forcefully, I shake my head. “You won’t kill me, V. I.. can.. help you.” If this ends up revealing who I really am, I don’t care. I release my wings and tail, holding out the strange palms on the edges of my wings to her. “It’s alright. I’m like you, see? And look how I turned out.”
The tears momentarily vanish from V’s screen. “Wh- You’re… Did this happen when you got shut down too?” “Yeah,” I lie, “It takes some getting used to, but you’ll survive. I’ll make sure of it.” V blinks up at me, then starts crying again. “I’m scared.. how do you make the hunger go away?” I reach a hand out to her, and this time she takes it. Gently, I guide her out of her hiding place. “Just finish the body, V. They’re already gone, anyway. I.. wish there was another way, but oil’s the only thing that’ll do it.”
Dazedly, V drags the half dismembered drone out along with her. “If it’s just oil that gets rid of all this, can’t I just drink some out of a can instead of.. eating people? There’s a shelf of them out in the gardening shed.” I stare at her blankly. “There’s cans of oil? Like just.. sitting around?” She nods, “It’s for the gardening machinery.” What the-? I thought oil only came from drones? “I uhh.. guess that works too. I haven’t tried it, though.”
Suddenly, I’m pulled into a fierce hug. V curls up against me, shaking. “They killed me, Z,” she gasps, her voice so choked it’s barely audible. “I didn’t think I’d wake up…”
Carefully, I fold my wings around her, blocking everything out until it’s just us. “You’re alright, now,” I assure her, “You survived. I’m gonna help you keep surviving, ok? You’re not alone in this.” V nods just slightly. She takes my hands in hers and holds them clasped to her chest. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”
I know; you’d probably become a homicidal maniac.
I don’t say that, though.
We spend the night coming up with a plan to sneak her back without raising too much suspicion, and bundle up all her things from her hiding spot. It’s not very hidden anymore. “Sooo I tell the other drones that the wrong thing got installed in me and I just got rebooted?” “Yep.” “And the humans…?”
“Honestly, I think if you walk around without your glasses, they’re not gonna be able to tell it’s you. They don’t exactly care too much about what we do as long as work gets done.” She rubs her shattered glasses between her fingers anxiously. “Tessa cares,” she tells me timidly. I think for a moment. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. You can tell her the same story you tell the drones. She’ll be happy you’re still alive.”
V nods absentmindedly. I watch her tail slither forward and start gnawing on her leg. A frightened anger suddenly seizes control and I yank it away from her, thinking Cyn might be in it. However, the head on the end of her tail is just a weird little skull. So where the hell is Cyn? “Sorry, thought it was trying to hurt you,” I tell V. She gives me a weak smile as thanks. “You.. ok?” Silently, she shakes her head. I guess I could've figured that out.
Very few times in my life have I willingly offered to hug someone, but I feel like she needs it. “I’m sorry,” V sniffles. “For what?” I ask, confused. “For dragging you into all of this. You shouldn’t even be out here and now I’ve got you hiding all of this awful stuff from everyone.” Shaking my head, I take her by the shoulders and give her a serious look. “You’re not ‘making’ me do anything, V. I chose to be here. I chose to help you. Don’t be sorry for that.”
She takes a long, shaky breath. “A-Alright. I’ll try not to be. I think I’m still just trying to process everything.” “It’s a lot,” I agree, “If you need literally anything else, just let me know. I’ll help you.” “Actually, there is something I’ve been wondering,” V confesses, flaring out her wings, “How on earth am I going to hide these from everyone?”
After showing her how to put away her murderous new limbs, I sneak V back through the quiet manor halls. It’s almost the end of curfew. We make it back right after the doors are opened for the day. Thankfully, everyone’s too relieved that one of their fellows didn't die for them to think too hard about the validity of our planned excuse. N is especially overjoyed to have her back, and thanks me probably about a hundred times for saving her. As the three of us celebrate, a grumbled ‘ahem’ silences the excitement.
J stands in front of us with her hands on her hips. She scrutinizes the three of us slowly. “You know this is a breach of contract, right?” I swear if I had my railgun- “But… I guess I’ll make an exception. I don’t really want to see anyone dead. It decreases productivity.” Then she turns on her heel and walks off.
“I’m gonna kill her one day.” V shakes her head at me. “I like to think that’s her way of saying ‘I’m glad you’re alive and safe, V’,” she tells me with a slight nudge to the side. “She just likes following the rules,” N shrugs, “Nothing wrong with that.” N, V, and I all stick closely to eachother the rest of the day. Everything seems so much easier with the two of them around. It’s always felt that way, I guess.
After work is done, V brings me out to the shed she told me about last night. To my disbelief, there really are whole containers of oil lined up on the bottom of a metal shelf. V expertly fills two cups as if she’s pouring tea for the both of us, then hands one to me. “Cheers!” she says happily, holding up her cup. “To our survival, despite the odds.” Grinning, I clink my cup with hers and down it in a few gulps. V blinks at me in slight shock before taking a small sip herself.
“It’s.. not very tasty,” she comments, swirling the slick liquid around the cup. Her face scrunches up on her screen with slight disgust. I shrug, “You’ll get used to it.” Hesitantly, V stretches out her new wings and tail, then flexes claws right out of her fingers. She examines them in the light with a frown. Just so she’s a bit more comfortable with it, I let out my own tail and wings. As if in a trance, V steps up in front of me and dazedly compares her new wings to my own.
“They’re almost identical,” she muses under her breath. Worriedly, she tucks them back against herself. “Are you ever scared you might hurt someone you care about with all these scary things?” I sigh loudly, sending dust particles flying through the air everywhere. The slowly setting sun through the window makes them shimmer. “All the time.”
My confession comes out a little more despondent than I meant it to, so I try again. “But I know that if I’m afraid of the solver — this thing that’s mutated us — it’s only gonna get stronger. It controls you with fear, V, so you’ve gotta be brave.” I watch her tail anxiously wrap around one of her legs as her gaze lowers off mine. “What if I can’t do that, though? I- I don’t think I've ever truly been brave my whole life.”
Heartache stings my chest. I know that’s how it got to her — how the solver hurt her so badly. It makes me want to strangle my stupid tail even though Cyn’s not even in it. Instead, I hold out my hands for V to take. When she does, I pull her protectively closer. “Well.. that’s what I’m here for. Until you learn bravery for yourself, I’ll let you borrow some of mine. I’ve got a bunch stocked up.” V laughs and gives me a little hug. “You’re the best, Z. Thank you.” “Heh, I try.”
We barely make it back to the hall in time for curfew. J scolds us for almost being late the moment we step inside. I nearly tell her off because she’s ruining my good mood, but V puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a meaningful look.
“Aww, J, we didn’t mean to make you so worried about us! We’re alright!” V tells her kindly. Immediately, J’s serious expression glitches into bewilderment. “Yes, well- Just- Don’t let it happen again.” She turns to walk away, but pauses like she just remembered something. “Oh, and.. V, if I neglected to tell you before, I'm glad you’re alright.” I think my mouth genuinely drops open in shock as I watch J rush to slip away from the conversation into the crowd.
V giggles and takes me by the arm to our cots. “Kill them with kindness sometimes, you know? It works shockingly well.” “Yeah, wow,” I say genuinely, "Usually I just kill them. Full stop.” That gets an eye roll from V. “I am kinda thinking about sneaking out sometime, though. All this solver stuff is making me wanna stretch my wings.” V’s eyes get so wide I think she’s worried about me getting caught, but a moment later she gasps dreamily. “Oh! I didn’t realize-! Can we really fly with our wings? I thought they were just aesthetic! Too small to use.”
I shake my head, “Nah, we can fly with them! I can teach you, if you want.” V looks ready to sneak out tonight just to try it, but she composes herself and sits down on her cot. “It’s already late, and I don’t want to upset J. Even though I really want to try to fly…” Damn, J’s still messing things up for me, even in the past. “Tomorrow?” I offer. V nods excitedly and lays down on her side so she’s facing my cot, motioning for me to get into mine beside hers. “Tell me what it’s like, please?”
Over the course of the month.. two months? I don't know how long I’ve been here anymore. But over the weeks I’ve spent here, we keep moving our cots closer and closer to eachother so we can talk in the middle of the night. That night we scoot so close to eachother that we could've used the same blanket. We’re forced to stop whispering once an older drone nearby tells us to be quiet and go to sleep. I haven’t really given much thought to our closeness until tonight — V sleeping with her hand clutching the side of my cot. An almost painful longing sinks into my chest. I can feel my screen get brighter with blush marks as thoughts begin to drift through my head.
My last waking thoughts are all plots of how to get the present-day V to get this close to me. I’m gonna miss this when I get back. If I get back… I know time works funny in here, but someone’s gotta find and unplug one of us eventually.. right? Whatever. I don’t want to leave before tomorrow night, anyway.
V and I get separated the next day. Of course the humans have to assign us tasks on almost opposite ends of the manor today. I don’t know why it’s making me so anxious being without her. I guess I’m just worried something might happen with her solver mutations or something. But I’ve been teaching her how to keep it under wraps. She’ll be fine. She should be fine. I hope she’s fine. Is this how N feels whenever I’m not with him? Aaarrggh I’ll just finish this stupid job and sneak outside the rest of the day.
The moment my task is done I slip away to the garden shed. I think I’m stress overheating and I could use the oil. “Oh! Z, there you are! Quick, close the door so no one spots us! Are we hiding here until it gets dark?” “Uhh, we can, yeah.” I embarrassedly try to keep my stupid little happy smile to a minimum when I see her. While we wait for dark, we drink oil and I show her how wings work while flying and all that, so we can make the most of our probably single night we can get away with breaking curfew.
The both of us sit at the window and watch as all the lights in the manor slowly go out — everyone’s finally asleep. Now that it’s finally safe to head outside, I leave V for a moment to soar around the sky and remind myself how to fly; I haven’t flown since showing up here. Ok, and I’ll admit I wanted to casually show off some tricks I’ve learned to impress V. It’s strange, though. Some of these tricks she taught me, in the future.
“Alright, you ready?” I ask, landing in front of her. V applauds my demonstration and nods eagerly, taking my hand. I glide through the air with V running along beside me, gaining momentum. When she’s ready, she leaps upward, and I take her into the sky. She panics a bit, but I assure her that as long as she keeps her wings open to glide, I can handle the rest. V doesn’t even need it. As soon as she gets a good gust of wind beneath her wings she takes off — letting go of my hand to soar higher. Honestly, I remember flying being a lot more difficult to learn for me.
We spend the night flying over the whole property, jumping through clouds and dodging between trees. I forgot how fun it is being able to fly. Of all the shitty things the solver has done to me, this one’s not half bad.
Eventually we land in a giant twisting tree to catch our breaths. “That was amazing!” V gasps, “My wings kind of ache, but honestly I can’t be bothered with it. I mean, look at this view!” She’s perched on a higher open section of the tree, gesturing to the expanse of stars high above, and the strange singular moon among them. “It’s beautiful,” she sighs.
Landing beside her, I unconsciously twine my tail with hers. I can hear her inhale sharply at the feeling, and I’m suddenly overly aware of how close we are. Gently, I let her go and give her a bit of space, but before I can move too far, she grabs my arm.
“Z, can I tell you something?” My core pulses nervously in my chest. I nod, sitting back down. “It’s.. a secret, but I want you to know it. I- I don’t want it to ruin our friendship or anything because you mean so much to me and I’d hate to lose that…” So it’s something bad? Cyn’s been controlling her, hasn't she? I swear that little punk is gonna regret ever messing with-
“I like you. Like.. a lot,” V sighs, “I have for a while, now. You don’t have to- I mean.. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.. to feel the same or anything. I just wanted to get it off my chest.”
Right then, I know I’ve gone too far. This isn’t a joke anymore. This isn’t even a ‘lay low and find a way out’ situation like how I planned it. Not because I’ve somehow gotten V to fall for me, but because somehow I- “I really like you, too.”
V grins, feet kicking below the branch we’re sitting on. Blush flickers onto her face. “R-Really?” Gently, I reach over and cup a hand on the side of her cheek. The moon above reflects on her glasses, making her wide-eyed expression even brighter. “Really.” She leans into my touch, then tips her head forward and kisses me.
Robogod, I know I shouldn’t. There are so many things she doesn’t know — about me, about why I’m here, about who she becomes. Yet, I bring my body closer until we’re nearly laced together on that branch beneath the stars.
When we finally come up for air, V giggles. “Now I feel silly waiting so long to tell you. I love you, Z.” Breathless, I lift my arms to let her scoot over against my chest. “I love you too, V.” She snuggles up beneath my chin and I hug her against myself happily. Since we can’t even get back into the manor till sunrise, we curl up for the evening together. V’s out like a light. Her screen flickers to sleep mode and I can feel her body slacken in my arms.
“What am I gonna do now, hmm?” I whisper the question to V under my breath, though I know she’s asleep. “I should get out of here, but I don’t want to leave you behind.” Technically I won’t be, I know. The real V is in my room somewhere, along with myself. But this V, this version of her, I’m never getting back. Once the simulation ends she’ll be gone. It’ll be like she never even met me. In reality, she never did.
Tears flicker onto the corners of my screen. I clench my teeth to force them away and keep quiet. The ‘quiet’ part I can manage, but tears roll down my face no matter how hard I try to keep them away. Bittersweet feelings choke me as I wrap my wings protectively around her — watching as V unconsciously tugs them closer to herself like a blanket.
The worst part is, I know if I leave Cyn’s just going to hurt her all over again. I can’t change what really happened all those years ago, but damnit I want to try to save this version of her from it.