Chapter Text
The night after their walk in the maze Armand and Marius were sitting quietly together in Marius’ office, having just finished seeing the last of their appointments. They could have left the room and gone to socialise or find Daniel but no. Here they sat and Armand was feeling…uncomfortable.
Their discussion had made him anxious in close proximity alone. Marius had been focused on their appointments all evening, not taking time between them to talk with Armand of anything and now the dominant was writing his final thoughts in his leather-bound notebook and was shutting it for the evening.
Armand didn’t feel he could just walk out, it would seem rude or childish in light of their conversation and Armand…Armand didn’t want to be alone and he didn’t want to leave Marius alone. Their conversation had triggered a deep fear in him that he couldn’t name, but it kept him anchored to the dominant’s side.
Marius looked over at him and smiled. ‘Are you alright?’
Armand jumped at the sudden break in the silence and nodded sheepishly. ‘Yes.’ He bit out and cringed at how harsh his tone was in comparison.
Marius didn’t seem bothered, he stood slowly and gestured to Armand to accompany him. They left the office and slowly roamed the halls and out into the garden towards the maze. Armand was quiet, it felt like Marius had something to say to him and was simply working it out. Armand both wanted Marius to just spit it out and never say another word again. The tension was killing him and looking at Marius it seemed the older vampire felt none of the same worry.
‘Armand…’ Marius finally said, taking Armand's hand in his own and holding it as they walked through the narrow passages. ‘I would like to speak with you about something, I have a suggestion on what we discussed last night, what you…asked for…’
Armand's heart pounded in his ears, this was it, Marius was going to agree to rape him. He’d changed his mind. Armand was going to be manhandled and violated in this very maze.
Marius gave him a look and shook his head. ‘I would appreciate it if you could hear the idea before you assume my intentions.’
Armand felt cowed, of course Marius wasn’t going to say anything like that. If the brute wanted to fuck him he’d not have a conversation first. Armand recoiled from his own intrusive thoughts. Marius sighed and squeezed his hand.
‘Are you back with me?’
Armand nodded slowly and tried to find something to look at in the maze but there was nothing, he turned his eyes to the ground beneath his feet as he walked. Marius sighed and continued with a measured voice and confidence Armand wished he had.
‘I want to do an exercise with you.’ Armand looked up at the man sharply but Marius waved him down. ‘Hear me out…it is an exercise not a claim on you…’
‘What kind of exercise could compare to the hideous thing I suggested last night?’ Armand's voice was small and he felt angry, he didn't like how long it was taking Marius to explain his idea and he didn’t like what he had heard of the idea anyway.
‘You dislike being forced into the submissive role, in every way, not just sexually…’ Marius began. ‘The expectations of court life have been difficult for you to adjust to and I have seen you struggling to reconcile your identity with your duties…yet…you seem fascinated by these roles and expectations, you study them and you learn from them although you are very selective of what portions you use. It seems out of character to embody parts of a system you refute.’
‘Don’t rats study traps before they walk on them?’ Armand pointed out, irritation clear in his voice although he didn’t know where it was coming from. ‘I watch and learn and take what I have to take, I’m surviving.’
Marius nodded slowly and made an agreeable noise. ‘I can see that and understand it…I merely wonder what determines what you have to take and what you don’t have to take.’
Armand didn’t know, he scowled at the man, this was going nowhere. Marius was talking in circles and it was pissing him off. He didn’t want to think about this.
Marius was picking up on his anger and moved to ease it, stopping him in his tracks and holding him by the waist as he had done the night before. ‘What if…you walk onto the trap knowing where the teeth are? Knowing what the outcomes could be?’
Armand paused, his anger briefly popped. ‘It wouldn’t be a trap if I knew the outcome.’
Marius smiled and nodded, clearly happy Armand was following his train of thought; although Armand felt more confused. ‘Precisely…the experiment I’d like to suggest is to walk into your role knowing what the outcomes will be.’
Armand blinked and stared at the dominant like he’d gone mad. What on earth could Marius be talking about?
‘I mean to say, instead of resisting your role perhaps you might consider choosing to perform it deliberately in its entirety.’ Marius clarified. ‘It would be a rehearsal…’
Armand reared back at that and pulled out of Marius’ arms. ‘You want me to pretend to be a good little submissive in public so I get used to it and naturally fall into it in private!’ He accused Marius angrily, snarling and baring his fangs.
Marius shook his head and held up his hands in surrender. ‘No…the opposite actually. I would like this performance to be private only.’ Marius was watching his face carefully and Armand thought he saw hesitation in the dominant’s eyes but it was gone before he could be sure.
Armand froze, Marius couldn’t mean…? He turned his back on the man to think. Was Marius suggesting that in private Armand pretend to be a good little submissive but not in public? Why? What did Marius stand to gain? If Armand pretended in public it would benefit him far more than private. Private was invisible to all but them, what was the point? Was Marius trying to speed up their mating? Had the dominant lied about being patient and waiting for him to be ready?
‘The point is that you choose to be submissive…’ Marius’ hands came to rest on his shoulders and a kiss was pressed to the side of his neck to console him. ‘It is a choice you can make or refuse at any time you choose. It is not submission forced by anyone, it is your choice to perform.’
Armand felt paralysed. He didn’t know what to say or do. Marius was suggesting, basically, dominant and submissive roleplay. Armand couldn’t understand why this had come out of their discussion the previous evening, he didn’t have an answer and he was losing control of the conversation the longer he stood silent letting Marius talk to him about this. Marius would take his silence as agreement if he didn’t do something, but he was frozen, he didn’t know what he wanted to do. On one hand it was too frightening a possibility, on the other he was curious.
‘What if the performance of submission isn’t enough for you?’ Armand wanted to know if Marius would lose control.
Marius kissed his neck again. ‘Then we stop…if I don’t enjoy it or you don’t enjoy it we need only say so and it stops.’
‘I didn’t say anything about enjoying or not enjoying.’ Armand was sharp in his reply and he needed a moment to collect himself and gain control before he continued. ‘I asked what if it’s not enough for you?’
Marius was quiet when he replied with a genuine tone. ‘I won’t harm you…I don’t expect you to believe that of course but I expect you to believe I would not intentionally try to harm you.’
So not a guarantee that he wouldn’t be hurt, but a guarantee it wouldn’t be on purpose. Armand thought about it but it was too overwhelming to imagine himself trussed up at Marius’ feet submitting to him in whatever way the dominant wanted him to.
‘I don’t understand what you gain from this.’ Armand whispered anxiously, trying to hide how much Marius had rattled him.
‘I will gain understanding of you and why you recoil from me…’ Marius sounded sad, it gave Armand pause for a moment but it didn’t help Armand feel any better about the idea.
He still couldn’t bring himself to outright refuse. ‘You say that like there's something wrong with me.’
‘There is nothing wrong with you Armand.’ Marius sighed and turned him in his arms, resting their foreheads together and holding eye contact. ‘You are guarded and keep yourself far out of my reach…and I would understand you so I may cross the divide and hold you as I believe you wish to be held.’
‘I don’t want to rehearse my humiliation.’ Armand finally said with a stronger voice than he’d had so far. He felt all his muscles tightening as though he were about to run but he forced himself to stay put. He wanted the matter closed, maybe not forever but just long enough that he could think about it.
Marius shrugged and kissed his forehead. ‘Then we won’t rehearse it. I have made the suggestion, it is on the table for you to take or leave.’ He looked regretful but accepting and that made it so much worse for Armand.
‘I’ve left it.’ Armand muttered as he pulled away and started walking back out the maze away from Marius. He needed Daniel, Daniel would know what to do.
Marius’ voice came in his mind as he reached the steps to the castle. ‘If you choose submission will it still terrify you?’
Armand ignored him and shut his mind forcefully.