Work Text:
Finally.
Fucking finally!
Tomura had to wait three months for this moment. Three whole months because he missed ALL the restocks and this new console sold out way too quickly for his taste. Seriously, why did the attacks on those U.A. brats have to be exactly on the same days as the re-stock…
Anyways, he got his new game console now and a shit ton of games that were definitely not legally acquired. There weren’t any attacks scheduled to happen soon so his plan for the next week mainly consisted of grinding the newest Pokémon game.
Most new games honestly sucked ass and Tomura very much preferred the old ones from Sensei’s collection but this one supposedly had good reviews so he’s somewhat excited to play it. The three months wait better have been worth it.
Setting up the console took way to long for some reason. Why the fuck does he need his Email address, he just wants to play Pokémon. He was nearly done with confirming his mail address when the problems began. Can a guy not confirm his email in peace?
Why the fuck was the language screen a pop-up window…
why was there even a language screen to begin with?! Everything was Japanese already,
why the fuck would he even need to change language at that point?!
If it wouldn’t have taken so long to get this stupid thing in the first place, he would have decayed it for this bullshit by now. He doesn’t even know what language it is on right now. He just knows it’s not Japanese (obviously) and also not English probably…
Okay fuck it, just copy paste it and let google figure out what language he’s gonna have to deal with…
…
…
Why…
…
“Kurogiri! Do you speak german??!”
The only answer he got to that was a clearly very confused, “why.”
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It took an entire hour and the combined effort of himself, Kurogiri and Google to figure out how to open the settings.
Then it asked for a pin code, one he never set up in the first place.
He is very sure he didn’t add age restrictions to this thing and even if he did (which is stupid, he’s an adult) why is the passcode not the usual 0404? He uses his birthday as pin code on everything he owns.
Going through the birthdays of every single person he knows or just any important number at all didn’t get him anywhere either.
Reluctantly he chose the option to answer a secret question in case he doesn’t remember the code. (He did not set this shit up, he absolutely did not, what the fuck)
…
The question was in german too…
More google translate it is.
…
So apparently it’s asking for his first pet. Why does it want to know? He has no idea but at least it’s an easy question. He wanted to type in the answer…
Would be an easy question if the touchscreen keyboard wouldn’t be in a language that uses an entirely DIFFERENT ALPHABET than Japanese!
At this point he was mostly surprised in himself that he hasn’t dusted that thing yet but somehow, for some incomprehensible reason, he’s still trying to get this console to function.
He really wasn’t sure how long it took to find even a single tutorial on how to change the keyboard without entering the still restricted language menu. Long enough for Kurogiri to have cleaned his room of the leftover packaging so a long time probably.
The tutorial he did find involved taking the console apart and hacking it. So basically this shitty thing softlocked him out of the settings.
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Tomura somehow succeed in changing the keyboard back to japanese. He had absolutely no idea how he did it but he did and that’s all that matters.
…
…
… The touchscreen just refused to work though.
He wasn’t even surprised anymore, just pissed off because what.
…
Apparently the touchscreen only works with a specific stylus pen that was supposed to be included in the packaging…
Kurogiri threw the packaging away earlier..
… Fuck.
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He searched through the entire trash can. The paper and the plastic one.
Nothing.
The thing was just not there.
Fine.
He’d just have to use the master email thing so he could unlock the settings that way. He confirmed the mail himself so there really isn’t much that could refuse to work here…
…
…
Nevermind…
“WHY THE FUCK IS IT REGISTERED WITH A HERO.NET EMAIL!?”
Apparently, there is actually a lot that could refuse to work here, mainly this thing changing the email he verified a few hours ago into the work email of some hero he has never even heard of.
Tomura, after researching this hero, is now half convinced that this console is cursed. It wasn’t just any email, it was the mail of a dead hero student from like ten years ago.
How did that even-
“Is everything alright Tomura Shigaraki? - “, Great, now even Kurogiri is concerned, “- why are you researching a dead hero student?”
So after explaining the email bullshit, Kurogiri said some weird stuff about maybe still having access to his old account if it didn’t get deactivated after he died.
Honestly if Tomura would have been any less done with this shit than he was, he might have questioned what the fuck that meant.
He didn’t though, he couldn’t care less at the moment if it meant getting this thing to work.
He clicked send...
it didn’t work, he needed to connect to the internet first.
The Internet settings that are still behind an age restriction.
He might have thrown it against a wall at that point.
The wall might have dent in it now but he has more important things to worry about now.
Like the fact that the left joystick started melting for some unexplainable reason. The rest seemed perfectly fine. The screen wasn’t even cracked or anything.
When he turned it back on everything was Japanese again, the age restrictions were gone too. He had no idea why, maybe the thing was already so defect that throwing it against a wall somehow made it better because worse isn’t an option anymore? Doesn’t matter though, he can finally play Pokémon.
A small text appeard in the corner of the device, “Warning: Battery Low, Console will enter Stand-By Mode soon.”
He didn’t even get time to process the message before it shut down.
After glaring at it for a few seconds it turned back on by itself. Okay yeah, definitely cursed.
Another few seconds… nothing… maybe the device is finally cooperating?
He waited a bit longer to make sure it wouldn’t explode or some shit before starting his new Pokémon game again.
He got all the way till choosing his starter, which isn’t that far if you think about it, until whatever the fuck that was happened.
These were not the starter Pokémon this region was supposed to have.
Two options were literally blacked out silhouettes and the middle option was a Squirtle. It didn’t even say Squirtle in-game though, the fact that this thing stole his nickname would be kind of creepy if not for the fact that it’s spelled wrong.
Why the fuck was the Squirtle called Schiggy?
In the corner he got another battery warning, it was at 60%
…
Then it started ticking down like a fucking timer.
Said battery-, timer-, whatever it was was the only thing on screen that didn’t crash.
Every text switched languages again before the game dissolved into lines of code.
The timer was still going down and since Tomura was absolutely not in the mood to become the protagonist in the next viral Pokémon creepypasta he did a, in his opinion, very reasonable thing.
Decay the consol on the spot..
And also maybe start to plan the death of whoever was involved of making this thing but no one needs to know that.