Chapter Text
Steve doesn't know why. He wishes he had some kind of explanation, some kind of reason for it to happen, but it seems like he is unlucky because he has none.
He cannot even blame it on sexual frustration because he can easily find sex if he puts his mind to it. He is handsome enough and charming enough, and not only women but men fall for his charms. Of course, finding women to hook up with is easier than men for obvious reasons, but Steve knows that he can pull both. After all, there are plenty of closeted and curious men around for him to charm, which he does from time to time when he feels adventurous.
But this… this is different.
It's not about sex… or at least it's not only about sex. It's something deeper. Stronger. Darker.
It creeps into Steve's dreams and makes home there, haunting him when he is asleep and when he is not. Steve looks at this boy, and he wants to hurt him, and then he wants to comfort him. To break him to pieces and then build him back up. To fuck him with animal vigor and then gently hold him in his arms, stroking his hair and kissing his temple.
It's maddening in more ways than one.
Steve wonders whether it's Vecna messing with his mind, but then again, Vecna doesn't really do that. He scares, and he kills, but he doesn't make one so obsessed with someone else. With someone you are not supposed to want.
Steve hopes it will get better, but it doesn't. It's primal, rooted somewhere deep in his dark, twisted soul.
‘Thank you,’ Will smiles when Steve passes him a jacket, and Steve…
Steve wants to push him into the nearest wall and bite his neck. To slam his dick inside of him and hear him moan as he fucks him. To hold him close and feel his tears drip onto his skin.
‘Nevermind,’ he gives Will a crooked smile as he looks away, afraid that his thoughts might be written all over his face.
Will would have freaked out if he knew what was going on in Steve's mind, Steve’s sure, and he wouldn't even be able to blame him for it. Because the things Steve keeps fantasizing about are sick, he is very fucking aware, but they leave a sweet taste on his tongue and are so very hard to resist.
Steve doesn't actually want to hurt Will… or well, he does, but he wants Will to also want to be hurt. Does it make sense? Steve isn't sure, but he is sure he would rather die than force himself on that boy. So even if he is fucked in the head, at least he is not a monster, and that's something.
Will has had enough monsters for his lifetime as it is.
So Steve keeps to himself and just watches. Jerks off to his fantasies in the privacy of his house and then tries to face the world like nothing out of the ordinary is going on in his head. Watches Will suffer through his unrequited crush on Mike and tries not to punch Mike in the face every time he is being such a dumb, oblivious idiot.
His anger towards Mike is misdirected; Steve is aware, but it's hard to keep his cool when Mike has something Steve is so yearning for and is being so absolutely wasteful with it. And yeah, Mike has every right not to want Will's affections, but Steve does, so if he is passive-aggressive with Mike sometimes for no apparent reason, Mike will just have to deal with it.
Will doesn't make it easy for Steve either. The yearning glances for Mike aside, Will is generally so sweet and so cute, and every time he smiles at Steve because Steve has been helpful or just plain kind, Steve wants to kill himself. That and fuck Will until he cries.
Robin asks what's going on with him. He dodges the question. He doesn't want to talk about it. He is almost sure that the conversation would end badly for him, so why would he say anything? He cherishes their friendship way too much.
Everyone else is focused on finding Vecna and stopping him for good, and that's a good thing. Steve also wants Vecna dead and buried, but it's hard to focus on their missions because it's hard to be in the same room with Will and not think about all the ways he can make him come undone. So Steve avoids looking at him and escapes the rooms he is in as much as possible. He tries not to be obvious, but he knows he isn't always successful. But running seems like the best course of action anyway.
Or Steve thinks so until Will asks, ‘Have I offended you somehow?’
They are alone at the radio station. Robin left early for her date with Vicky; there is no mission planned, so others are not around, and Steve was just about to close everything up for the day when Will walked in, catching him unaware.
Steve glances at Will, who awkwardly stands a few feet away and fidgets with the sleeves of his jacket, and then looks away. ‘No, of course, not,’ he answers because that's the truth.
‘I don't believe you,’ Will states, making Steve look up at him. ‘You are avoiding me.’
‘I do not.’
‘You do!’ Will exclaims, making a step forward. ‘Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did. I swear I didn't mean to offend you or anything-’
‘Will, I'm not offended,’ Steve interrupts him. ‘There is nothing wrong, I'm not mad at you or anything. We are okay.’
Will looks hurt. The kind of hurt that doesn't bring Steve even an ounce of joy.
‘I'm not stupid,’ Will says. ‘You are always acting weird around me, you avoid me, and I don't know what I have done that you can't stand me so much!’ he exclaims, and he looks like this whole situation truly bothers him.
Steve sighs and tries to walk away, ‘I don’t know what to tell you. There is nothing wrong. I have been all over the place lately, but it has nothing to do with you, so please just drop it-’
‘Don't lie!’ Will interrupts him and grabs Steve's sleeve as he passes him by.
The next thing he knows is Steve grabbing him by the jacket and slamming him into the wall. It doesn’t really hurt, but it's so sudden that Will makes a startled yelp. And then Steve's lips are pressing into his.
The kiss is rough, almost violent, as Steve's hand grabs the back of Will's neck, keeping him in place. Another hand is at Will's side, Steve's fingers digging in so sharply that Will feels the sting even through the layers of clothes. He goes slack in Steve's hold as his eyes flutter closed and his mouth opens to the intrusion of Steve's tongue. Will's fingers spasm against Steve's chest, but do not try to push him away.
Steve knows his days are numbered now. That he crossed the line that he never should have crossed and that his life is about to lie in ruin, so he takes what he can. Kisses Will like he has been dreaming about to memorize it. To never forget his taste or how hot his body felt and how it trembled against Steve's own. He kisses Will like it's the last kiss he is ever going to share, then bites Will's lower lip and lets him go, taking a few steps back and putting his own hands behind him.
Will stays where he is, clinging to the wall. His eyes are wide open now, his mouth too… wet and inviting, and he breathes through them like he just ran a marathon. His face is red, and he looks like a deer in the headlights as he stares at Steve as if he sees him for the first time.
‘I told you to drop it,’ Steve hears himself say. He won't apologize because he is not sorry. He shouldn't have done it, but he did exactly what he wanted. Or, well, only a tiny part of what he wanted. His mind is so full of things he wishes to do to that poor boy, but it's a good thing he knows how to stop himself. Even if there is no going back now.
Will stares at him for a few more seconds and then bolts, running out of the room like a demogorgon is chasing him.
Steve lets him go. He is aware that he has just probably ruined his life, and most likely than not, in a few hours, Jonathan will break down his door and beat him up for laying hands on his brother. Or maybe Hopper. Or maybe even Joyce.
He will probably let them. Not gonna fight back. Perhaps he will even deserve it, but he doesn't think that he will be able to regret what he did. Because now he knows what Will tastes like.
And that knowledge is unlikely to ever leave his mind.