Chapter Text
Time didn’t heal all wounds. Megumi knew that for a fact. Maybe physical wounds healed, but time can’t heal the emotional wounds; the ones that ran deep and stayed with you no matter how hard you tried to shake them off. He’d been stupid to think that things would return to some kind of normal, that he’d feel like himself again. But it had been nearly five years since the sinister events at Shinjuku, and Megumi still felt like he was in a downward spiral.
Sometimes the spiral was slow, other times fast. The smallest thing could set him off, like it had today. He sat on the floor with his back to his bed and hugged his knees to his chest. He hadn’t moved for an hour. Trying to control an oncoming wave of grief was never fun and while he had been able to shut it down before, today was different. His throat was threatening to close up and when he squeezed his eyes closed, he could feel the burn of tears threatening to spill over.
Before the wave could crest, a knock sounded at the door, followed by, ‘It’s me.’
Megumi pressed his fingers to the skin under his eyes and took a deep breath. ‘Come in.’
The door swung opened and Yuji stepped in, closing it behind him. He took one look at Megumi and without a word, sat down on the floor beside him so their shoulders touched. Megumi pressed his palms to his eyes until he saw spots.
‘You weren’t at training,’ Yuji said softly.
‘I didn’t… I couldn’t be there. Not today,’ he said.
‘You wanna talk about it?’
Megumi lowered his hands and rested his arms on his knees. ‘It’s Tsumiki’s birthday today,’ he said quietly. Five years gone and this loss still haunted him.
‘Do you want me to give you some space?’ Yuji asked.
‘No, stay,’ he said. ‘I’ll be okay.’
Yuji raised his arm and wrapped it around Megumi, so he rested his head against Yuji’s shoulder. For a moment, neither of them spoke and Megumi focused on Yuji’s breathing; soon enough, the tightness in his chest relaxed and he felt some of the sadness ebb away.
‘Hey so, um… I was thinking…’ Yuji started.
‘Bold of you,’ Megumi said.
‘Shut up,’ Yuji said, and smacked his shoulder gently.
Megumi smirked. ‘What were you thinking about?’
Yuji looked down at his lap. ‘I was thinking that… we should leave here and find our own place. Distance ourselves from jujutsu sorcery a bit, ya know?’
Megumi sat up, eyes widening. ‘You want to move out of the dorms?’
Yuji looked at him. ‘Yeah, I mean… being here, we’re constantly surrounded by it, with no way to switch it off. Don’t you find it exhausting? If we find an apartment somewhere, it gives us a place to come home to that isn’t going to make us think about curses and the stuff that comes with it.’
Move away, live somewhere else? Megumi had lived at Tokyo Jujustu High since he was fourteen but it had never felt like his home. While he hated it at first, having Yuji’s room next door made it feel a little less lonely.
He glanced at Yuji. From the moment they first met, they’d been drawn to each other. Megumi was the one that initially saved Yuji, only for Yuji to save him right back months later. They’d been through so much together, and in the years that followed Sukuna’s defeat, they’d only grown closer.
They did everything together, from missions, to hanging out, cooking and sometimes even sleeping the same bed. It brought not only Megumi comfort, but also Yuji. Megumi could spiral as much as he wanted, but he would never be alone in his grief and sadness, because Yuji was right there with him.
The thought of being apart for too long, let alone living separately? It made Megumi feel sick. But Yuji hadn’t told him he wanted to go on his own. He wanted Megumi to come with him. Moving in together seemed like the logical decision.
‘…We’re not kids anymore and I feel like we’re ready for this,’ Yuji said. ‘Kugisaki did it and she’s doing fine. And I’m not saying we give up what we’re doing, just take more time for-’
‘Yes.’
Yuji’s head whipped to face Megumi. ‘What?’
‘Yes. We should find an apartment somewhere.’
Yuji grinned at him and Megumi’s heart beat erratically in his chest. ‘You mean it?’
Megumi nodded. ‘A fresh start, away from all the noise.’
‘It’s gonna be great, I promise!’ Yuji said and pulled him into a hug.
Megumi hoped he was right.
*
After a couple of weeks hunting the real estate market, they secured a small place just outside Tokyo; two bedrooms, one bathroom, living area and kitchen. There was a small balcony at the back that overlooked a side street and was big enough for a couple of chairs. It was perfect for their needs. They’d been lucky to score a place that came with a fridge and microwave, otherwise the place was a blank canvas. They made quick work of getting the essentials and organised deliveries for move in day.
By midday, their living room was mostly furnished. While Yuji was out getting them a late lunch from the corner store, Megumi accepted the delivery of their futons. He dragged them down to their rooms and started with Yuji’s, unrolling it and setting it up with fresh linen. After fluffing the pillows, he grabbed his own futon and started dragging it to his bedroom. In the doorway of Yuji’s room, he stopped and looked back at the bed.
Sometime after Megumi’s seventeenth birthday, Yuji started spending more and more nights in his bed. His initial reasoning had been due to bad nightmares and Megumi hadn’t questioned it. From then on, it became rarity to sleep alone. Now that they had their own place, there was nothing stopping them from doing the same, right?
Megumi moved Yuji’s futon over and started setting his up beside it. The bedroom still had enough space on either side to walk around, so he got his set up before arranging the low side tables and lamps. He was so caught up in what he was doing, he didn’t hear Yuji get back.
‘They came!’ Yuji said, startling him. He turned around and watched Yuji’s gaze go to the side-by-side futons before focusing back on him. Megumi felt his stomach drop. ‘Oh, that’s-
‘I thought we could use the other room for something else,’ Megumi said quickly, trying to act casual even though his face was on fire. ‘Like a study or a prayer room or for meditation…’
Yuji smiled. ‘That’s a good idea,’ he said. ‘Come on, I got us some egg sando’s.’
Megumi followed him out to the kitchen and watched Yuji unpack the bags. He put a few things in the fridge before handing over the sando.
‘I think… I like the idea of setting up a shrine in the other room,’ Yuji said.
‘You do?’ Megumi asked.
Yuji nodded. ‘The thought of it makes me feel calm, because I’ll have somewhere proper to say my prayers to my loved ones.’ He looked at Megumi and smiled. ‘Good thinking.’
Megumi took a bite of his sando as relief washed over him. While he’d only suggested it because he was freaking out about the beds (which Yuji hardly seemed concerned about), he knew it was something that would benefit them both. Megumi had been to several shrines with Yuji and he always stopped to say a quick prayer. In that moment, Megumi was thankful he was a quick thinker.
‘Oh, Kugisaki called me before,’ Yuji said. ‘I invited her over on Thursday, is that cool?’
‘Yeah, that’s fine,’ Megumi said.
‘We can show her the place and do lunch or something,’ Yuji said.
Thursday rolled around and Kugisaki arrived at their apartment. Her place was only two train stops from them which was convenient. After a quick hug in greeting, she glanced around and clicked her tongue.
‘Ugh, it looks like boys live here,’ Kugisaki said.
‘Boys do live here,’ Megumi said.
‘And that’s a problem,’ she said. ‘This situation is dire. Good thing you called.’
Megumi and Yuji exchanged a glance, but before they can say anything, Kugisaki was forcing them out the door. They spent the next five hours shopping for décor. Framed artwork for the walls, decorative cushions and throw blankets and some fake plants (because they couldn’t be trusted to keep real ones alive). Yuji spent twenty minutes sniffing different candles and when he selected two he liked, Kugisaki agreed on the fragrances before turning to Megumi.
‘Do not let him burn those if you aren’t home,’ she said.
‘Hey!’ Yuji said and frowned. ‘I know how candles work.’
‘And yet, I still don’t trust you,’ she said.
Yuji’s frown deepened but he didn’t say anything. Megumi took one of the candles from him and sniffed it. Leather and Oud. ‘I like this one, kind of reminds me of an old library.’
‘That’s why I picked it! I knew you’d like it,’ Yuji said, grinning. ‘That’s yours and this is mine.’
He handed Megumi the other candle and Megumi checked the label; Vanilla Nutmeg. It was sweet and was exactly the kind of fragrance he’d associate with Yuji.
‘I think we’re done,’ Kugisaki said. ‘Let’s go set everything set up.’
Back at the apartment, they spent a couple of hours being told where to put everything by Kugisaki. Yuji handled hanging things on the walls and Megumi focused on setting up the cushions, throws and smaller decor bits.
‘It’s looking less pathetic now,’ Kugisaki said. Megumi had to agree with her. As he unpacked a few books on the shelves, Kugisaki grabbed something from her tote bag and came over to him. She handed him a gift wrapped in brown paper. ‘I got you house warming gift, just something small.’
‘Aw, you didn’t have to Kugisaki,’ Yuji said and glanced over Megumi’s shoulder.
Megumi unwrapped it and stared at what was beneath. It was a framed photo of the three of them, pre-Shibuya. Megumi didn’t remember who took it, but they all looked so… carefree.
‘Thank you,’ he said and handed it to Yuji.
Yuji stared at it in silence for a moment. ‘We look so young,’ he said softly.
‘Happier times,’ Kugisaki said.
‘Where should we put it?’ Yuji asked.
‘Maybe in the other bedroom?’ Megumi said.
‘Good idea,’ Yuji said and went to put it away.
Kugisaki smacked Megumi on the arm. ‘What does ‘other bedroom’ mean? Isn’t that your bedroom?’
‘Oh uh, no its our quiet room. For prayers and stuff,’ he said.
‘So where do you slee-’ Kugisaki stopped and smirked. ‘Are you sleeping together?’
‘What, no! It’s not like that!’ Megumi said.
‘Isn’t it?’ Kugisaki tilted her head.
‘No, shut up,’ he said.
Yuji came back into the room and draped his arm over Megumi’s shoulder. ‘Thanks for that Kugisaki.’
‘You’re welcome,’ she said, her gaze going from Yuji’s arm to Megumi’s blushing face. ‘I better get going. I’ll leave you idiots to it.’
‘I’ll walk you out,’ Yuji said. Kugisaki gave Megumi a hug and then followed Yuji to the door. She glanced back at Megumi and gave him a knowing look before Yuji let her out.
‘I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,’ Yuji said, coming back into the lounge. ‘Has she always been that mean?’
‘I think that was her being nice,’ Megumi said.
‘Well, at least the place looks a bit more homey now,’ Yuji said, glancing around.
‘Yeah, it does. Good job with the frames.’
Yuji beamed. ‘Now that that’s done, what do you want for dinner? Miso soup or ramen?’
‘Ramen.’
‘Okay well, wanna wash up while I get it all ready?’
‘Sure.’
Megumi turned the taps on in the bath and while it filled, quickly washed off the day’s sweat and dirt in the shower before sliding into the warm water. The moment he settled, his conversation with Kugisaki entered his head again.
It’s not like that.
Isn’t it?
Well…
Looking back, he could admit he’d always liked Yuji. There had just been something about him and it piqued Megumi’s interest from the get go. He’d burst into his life and set them on a course neither of them could have seen coming. The more he got to know him, the more that feeling grew inside his chest. Yuji had fought and fought and fought to keep Megumi safe and bring him back in one piece and continued to fight for him in the years that followed.
Yuji had a kind heart and cared deeply and despite his best efforts, it had drawn Megumi in. As his crush developed, he started to appreciate Yuji’s looks more too. His pink hair was no longer annoying, but cute. His brown eyes had a warmness to them. And when he smiled at Megumi… it did a number on his heart. Year after year as they got older, Yuji got better and better with age.
He’d grown taller, his body filled out and the softness he had when he was fifteen had been replaced with hardened muscle. He trained like crazy and it reflected in his physique, Megumi had noticed. Of course he’d noticed. Yuji had no shame when it came to his body and often trained shirtless.
Fuck. Now he was picturing Yuji shirtless like a creep. He groaned and completely submerged himself under water. He’d accepted the fact that he’d never have Yuji the way he really wanted. Because Yuji didn’t see him like that. Megumi would rather have him in his life as a friend than ruin their relationship with his messy feelings. Damn Kugisaki for bringing it to the front of his mind again when he’d been successful in keeping it locked down.
Yuji knocked on the door and Megumi surfaced, wiping his hand over his face.
‘Almost ready!’ he called.
‘Be out in a minute!’
He got out of the bath and quickly dried off. Once he was dressed and had tamed his hair as best he could, he met Yuji in the kitchen. Two steaming bowls of ramen sat on the counter with a glass of iced tea beside it. Megumi stared at the food in silence.
‘Is something wrong?’ Yuji asked.
‘This looks amazing,’ he said and sat down.
‘I hope it tastes good.’
Yuji sat down next to him and they started their meal. It more than tasted good and Megumi let it be known. Yuji smiled happily as he sipped at the broth. Megumi glanced at him from the corner of his eye and felt his stomach do a flip. It was an all too familiar feeling and he knew if he didn’t shut it down soon, the heartache would consume him.
They were living together now, so the challenge had just become harder.
*
It didn’t take long for them to fall into a routine. Missions, social outings, nights in. They shared the cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. Yuji cooked for them and Megumi washed the dishes. Some days were worse than others, but for the most part they managed.
Today, however, was a bad day. Megumi had stared too hard at himself in the mirror and now it felt like his scars were inflamed and more visible. He pressed his palm into his right eye until he saw stars in the darkness. They hadn’t bothered him for a long time, but every now and then he remembered they existed and his mind took him back to that dark place.
He fell down onto his futon and stared blankly at the wall. He didn’t realise he was crying until the tears had dripped across his lips and the saltiness hit his tongue. This wasn’t the first time this had happened; he found himself randomly crying about things long since passed more than he’d like to admit.
Yuji found him a few minutes later and concern creased his face as soon as he saw Megumi’s expression. He crawled onto the futons and laid down facing him. Megumi didn’t rush to wipe the tears away; Yuji had seen him cry numerous times so there was no awkwardness anymore when it happened. A fresh tear rolled down his check and Yuji gently wiped it away.
‘What are you feeling?’ he asked.
Hurt. Sadness. Guilt.
‘Everything,’ he whispered.
Tsumiki. Tsumiki. Tsumiki.
More tears spilled. ‘Is it ever going to stop?’
Yuji frowned deeply and his eyes glistened. ‘I don’t think so. It might get easier as the years go on but… grief will always be there.’
Megumi took a shuddering inhale and closed his eyes. A moment later, he felt Yuji’s arms envelope him and pull him into his chest. Yuji rested his chin on Megumi’s head and gently stroked his hair. He let his tears fall and focused on Yuji’s steady heartbeat. He tried not to think about the fact that this heart wasn’t the one he was born with, the one that Megumi was first drawn to. Instead, he counted each beat and before too long, his own heart was beating in sync.
Megumi’s tears eventually stopped, but he now felt exhausted. Yuji’s heartbeat and gentle strokes were soothing enough that he let himself drift to sleep.
When he awoke sometime later, the sun had dipped lower in the sky and cast half the room in shadows. Megumi wiped his eyes and then realised Yuji was tucked against his back, arm draped over his waist. Before he could overthink the situation, he rolled over so he was facing Yuji and only had a few seconds to admire his resting face before he opened his eyes.
‘Thanks for staying with me,’ Megumi said softly.
‘Like I’d ever leave you,’ Yuji said and smiled.
The look in his eyes was so genuine and Megumi’s heart pounded so loudly in his chest he was sure Yuji could hear it. He wanted to stay like this forever, but life had other plans. Before he could say anything, his phone started ringing. He sat up and quickly located it, frowning at the name on the screen.
‘Utahime,’ he said in answer.
‘Fushiguro,’ she said. ‘I hope you’re well. I’m calling because your services have been requested at Kyoto Jujutsu High. We have several first-year students whom we believe would benefit from learning about and witnessing your cursed technique in action. Are you available Friday to fly down to the school?’
Megumi paused for a moment as he took in what she said. He glanced at Yuji, who was watching him curiously. ‘Uh, yeah, I should be able to make that work. How long am I needed?’
‘At this stage, no more than five days? I hope that’s not an inconvenience.’
Megumi glanced at Yuji again. While they did take a few solo missions, they hadn’t spent more than a day away from each other for the past five years. Five days was a long time.
‘Not at all,’ Megumi said. ‘Happy to assist.’
‘Great, I’ll send you all the info shortly,’ she said. ‘Have a good evening.’
The line went dead and Megumi slowly lowered his phone.
‘What did she want?’ Yuji asked.
‘I have to go to Kyoto for five days,’ Megumi said. ‘They want my help training first years.’
Yuji sat up. ‘Five days?’
‘Yeah, shouldn’t be any longer than that,’ he said. When Yuji didn’t say anything, Megumi poked his arm. ‘Will you be okay while I’m gone?’
Yuji smiled. ‘Of course I will. But I know you’re gonna miss me a lot.’
Megumi had no idea just how much that was a two-way street.