Chapter Text
Ruby was wandering aimlessly through the halls of Shade Academy. It was a day her and her team didn't have to patrol, and she had just gotten done helping with Doctor Pietro Polendina in the clinic he had here in Shade. They had both used working on prosthetics as a way to feel closer to Penny and talk about their grief. It helped having someone like Pietro for her since her own father was still on Patch. It had been about two weeks since her, Weiss, Blake, Yang and... Jaune all returned from the Ever After, and apparently a little over a month had transpired from the time they fell and came back.
It was weird seeing the people of Remnant rally together to fight Salem. She hoped it would be enough.
She felt as though it never would be though.
She shook her head to dispel the thoughts in her head and continued walking the halls of the last standing academy alone. Her Team usually spent their collective day off Relaxing and recuperating. Today, Blake and Yang were out together in the city, enjoying their new relationship. Weiss was out with her Family, at least Whitley and Willow, using whatever monetary and social capital they still had from Atlas to help the impoverished here, especially due to the influx of refugees. And that just left her to wander around and do whatever.
Her scroll rang and she retrieved it from her pocket to take a look at who messaged her.
How are you doing?
It was Yang, checking in on her. She told her team in the morning that she had nothing really to do that day outside of seeing Pietro. All of them offered to change plans, to spend some time with Ruby on their day off, but she waved them off, saying she wanted some alone time. As nice as it was having her team check in and make sure she was okay, it could be a little stifling. Not that she could blame them. Especially after Ruby...
A dull ache settled in her chest, a feeling of guilt of having to put her friends through that. They were still going through that if she was being honest. With the check-ins, the concern, the seemingly endless desire they had to bend over backwards to make sure she was okay. But Ruby wanted them to take care of themselves too, especially because she knew what would happen if you put everyone else's needs before yours. The ache lessened just a bit as she messaged her sister back.
I'm okay. Tell Blake I said 'hi'. And also, FOCUS ON YOUR DATE!
The response was almost immediate.
Will do both. Love ya Sis.
Love you too.
The red reaper sighed a bit, still walking the halls without a place to go. Maybe she could head to the school's forge, and work on some upgrades for Crescent Rose, and maybe the rest of the weapons of her team. It would be nice to focus on something she used to love doing. Before everything else that happened. Maybe she could up the caliber of her scythe or add some way to channel dust through it.
Ruby was pulled from her thoughts as she heard some voices from down the hallway talking. It didn't take her too long to figure out who, especially with the cheerful voice of Nora bouncing through the halls. It sounded like she was talking to the rest of her own partner, being as over enthusiastic as usual. It brought a smile to Ruby's face.
"C'mooooon Ren! It's our day off! We can go sightseeing outside of the school! Maybe have some of those sweet Vacuan treats!" As Ruby rounded the corner, she saw Ren and Nora, with Nora wrapping her arms round one of Rens. Both of them were smiling like absolute doofuses. However as soon as Ren saw Ruby his face became stoic and calm as usual. Ruby guessed Ren was shy showing his emotions around others, besides Nora now. "Oh! Heya Ruby! Your team is free for the day too?"
"Yeah. Though everyone is out doing their own thing. So now I'm just wandering after helping Pietro in the clinic. I may go to the forge," A smile crept onto her face as she thought of the clinic and the mechanical workshop held within.
"It's good that helping him seems to make you feel better," Ren offered, speaking for the first time in his usual calm tone. A slight upturn in his mouth showed he was happy to see Ruby in high spirits.
"Mhm. It's helping to deal with... with Penny's passing." She noticed Ren and Nora shared a quick look, then went back to looking at her. "Well, I don't want to keep you. Have fun going out," The red reaper added hastily, hoping she didn't bring down the mood of her two friends. She began to walk past them, when Ren spoke up again.
"If you're heading to the forge, you may run into Oscar and Jaune." The statement almost made her freeze in place. She was able to control herself just enough to make the stop seem 'normal' however. "They're in the sparring room with Qrow and Theodor."
"Really?" She hadn't talked to Jaune since they came back from the Ever After. Well, that was incorrect. They talked, quite a bit actually. But it was never anything more than plans for patrols, pleasantries and the occasional and very forced, 'How are you?' She felt distant from him now. They used to be best friends. Hell, he was her first friend at Beacon when he talked to her after she literally exploded. She missed how close they used to be before...
"What about you?! IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU!!!"
Ruby felt her chest squeeze, and a pain she couldn't categorize flared up. Her eyes began to sting and burn, and the sounds of her friends nearby were muffled and distant until she felt a hand on her arm.
"Ruby?" Nora's aquamarine eyes looked at her with the deepest understanding and sympathy.
Ren was the next one to speak, however. "You should talk to him," his tone was gentle and soft. It was the same tone he used when her or Jaune were particularly distressed during their travels in Anima. To say it was what she needed to hear was an understatement.
"W-what if..." Ruby's voice was almost a whisper, "what if he still hates me?"
The response from both Ren and Nora wasn't seen by Ruby. Just felt, as both of them wrapped her into a hug quickly. They knew what happened in the Ever After, Jaune had told them, after receiving the go-ahead from all of team RWBY and asking if there were any parts that should be omitted for their sake. All four of them believed the truth would be the best thing for them to tell their sister team and so they heard the tale of what transpired down there, and all the pain it caused.
"I don't think he hated you, Ruby," Nora said while rubbing the younger girls back. "He wasn't okay down there. And he is getting better. Slowly."
"That's why I think you two should talk. You both need to heal from this." Ren spoke softly, his own voice seeming to be a little choked.
Ruby nodded her head a few times, wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay." She sniffed and cleared her throat too for good measure. "Hopefully he's still conscious after sparring with Qrow." A dry laugh escaped from her lips.
"Eh, our fearless leader is fine!" Nora said, switching back to her chipper self at a speed that would break a goliath's neck. "He's got like what. 60 years of experience now in a 20-year-old body? He's fine!"
Jaune was not fine.
He was currently fighting against a whirling hurricane of steel and red doing his damndest to not die. Theodor and Ozpin wanted to help him recover from the Ever After, along with getting back into the habit of using the tools he once had at his disposal courtesy of dust. Though now he debated their efficacy with how long he lived in the ever after without needing them.
Qrow was absolutely hammering away at his shield with his scythe. Harbinger was a careening reaping blade of ominous death, and it was spectacular to see in motion. After years of having to fight the Jabberwock, 'saving' the paper pleasers, and 'protecting' the Ever After fighting grimm was practically child's play. It was easy to destroy the enemies of Remnant. But fighting another person? He stalled, and faltered. Raising his broken sword against another person felt almost sacrilegious to him. It's why Oz, Theodor and Qrow insisted on him training with peers or teachers when he could. Not for long because the damage was fresh again. Part of him regaining his youth was that his mind could more readily bombard him with his sins. His mind flashed to brilliant green eyes that he had closed forever, and guilt of that. Then it flashed to gleaming silver eyes that he ripped the hope out of with his words. Then those same silver eyes grew dull and distant as they slid closed. He could never be a hero. Not really. He was a monster, a murd-
WHAM!!!
That momentary lapse in concentration earned him a ringing crack across his face as Qrow rotated the Scythe around him. Using centripetal force to have it never stop moving.
"C'mon kid!" Qrow taunted, his weapon still creating space for himself. "I've seen you disassemble training droids, and grimm a like. I'm going light on you right now!"
Qrow could be a jerk, an ass and a bastard. But he was also a teacher. Himself, Theodor and Ozpin had been trying to get him to make a genuine swing at any of them over the last two weeks. Oz and Theo were being kind to him. Trying to get him to accept the past, which Jaune simply claimed that he had failed to save Penny and nothing more. Jaune kept saying that was the reason he couldn't fight another person in earnest anymore. Two weeks of just him blocking their attacks and halfhearted swings that had no commitment to them and no progress. So now it was time for Qrow to use those titles he earned and put them to the test.
Qrow grimaced internally at what he was about to say next. "Look if this is the effort you tried to protect Penny with, I can see why you failed!" Gods, if he still did, he would need a drink after this.
Jaune's eyes flashed something dangerous, he took a sharp step forward into Qrow's range. He then blocked a strike coming from his left with his shield, catching Harbinger on it, then pulled with all his might as his aura flared. Qrow held on as he was pulled by superhuman strength close to the glowing golden boy. Then the direction of Jaune's shield changed and came straight for Qrow's face. Jaune punched with the edge of his shield then followed up with a vicious upwards swing into the old huntsman's torso, letting loose a scream that sounded both equal parts fury and agony.
The attack laid Qrow on his ass, sliding on the floor a few feet. Jaune was heaving breaths like a man possessed, fury darkened his eyes. He stalked up to Qrow, raising his broken sword like an executioner would to a condemned man.
"JAUNE!" Four separate voices called out
The voices of Oscar, Theodor and Qrow and another onlooker snapped him out of his rage. Getting a hold of his sense he dropped his sword with a clatter. His breath became faster and more uncontrolled. He felt his chest tightening; it felt harder to breathe. Was the room spinning? Was he spinning?
He saw a quick flash of red petals and then suddenly he felt something hit him softly in the torso, and felt arms wrap around his chest and squeeze. It seemed counter intuitive, but something weighing him down, holding on to his chest made it easier to breathe. To think.
Looking down he saw a red hood, black hair with red tips at the ends and scared silver eyes looking back up at him. Though they weren't scared of him, they were scared for him. Pools of silver filled with more empathy than he thought he deserved.
"Ruby?" Jaune muttered. Why was Ruby here? They hadn't really talked in the two weeks they had been here. Even though he knew he had too. He told the rest of his team about his guilt. That he was the one who killed Penny, and all of them told him that both him and Ruby needed to talk for one reason or another. Weiss also came to him one time personally to tell him that he needed to talk to Ruby. He told them all he would when he was ready. It was two weeks of small talk and avoidance of someone who was supposed to be his best friend, but after everything that had happened, that he would tell her, would she still want to be best friends? Would she even tolerate his presence?
She ended her hug and took a step back, her cheeks flushing slightly. She cleared her throat and then clearly stated, "I think we need to talk... yeah?" She fidgeted under the gaze of the other people in the room, one of them being her uncle.
Oscar, using his best impression of Ozpin, spoke first, "I think Jaune has undergone enough training for now." as he began to walk out of the room. The others followed suit, with Qrow leaving last as he collected himself from the floor and apologized to Jaune for what he said.
With a soft click the two team leaders were alone for the first time in a long while. Crocea Mors was left on the floor, the blonde looking at it like it would bite him if he stepped any closer. Ruby was the one who stepped up to the fallen blade and picked it up, with utmost care, as if it was a sacred relic. She then stepped over to Jaune and pulled the shield from his arm. She collapsed it and sheathed the blade then carried it over to the bleachers where she sat down and stared back at the young knight.
"Hey." She spoke quietly.
"Hey." Jaune said back equally as quiet.
"What... What was that?" Her question was about his outburst. His fury that even he didn't know about. Her tone wasn't accusative, but more like pleading for an explanation.
"I... Penny is a sore spot for me... because..." His voice trailed off, the words were choking him. Jaune was terrified that those silver eyes would look at him in fear, or hopelessness, or destitution. He didn't want that again. He could never handle it. He could never forgive himself if Ruby hated him, despised him, was scared or repulsed by him. He would rather die than have that.
His hesitation didn't go unnoticed. "Because?" Ruby's arms wrapped around herself worry marking her eyes.
This was it. Now or never, he wasn't ready, but when would he be? And so, he let the words he had been afraid of saying for far too long spill out. “Because I failed Penny.” His breath was shaky, but the words kept flowing even as Ruby's eyes went wide. “I killed her because she asked me too, because she was already bleeding and wounded and out of aura, and I begged her to let me heal her and…” he was crying, he fell to his knees, each breath was a titanic effort, yet he couldn’t stop. The words scrambled out of his mouth and into the air like an angry swarm of insects. “And she told me to let her choose that fate for her.” His eyes were glued to the floor, unable and unwilling to look at Ruby. The memory of Penny asking him to do the unthinkable burned through his mind. Jaune wept for the life he was told to take, for the loss of his innocence, for the death of a true hero. A true friend.
For a long time, the only thing that was heard in that room was the sound of two friends, mourning the loss of someone they both cared for.
Then Ruby moved, still sniffing,with hiccups and ragged breath over to the man once known as the rusted knight, knelt down to him and pulled him into an embrace. “I’m sorry Jaune… I’m so sorry.” The young woman knew that Penny died. She knew that the powers of the winter maiden went to Winter Schnee. She also knew that she loved Penny Polendina as an amazing friend, and potentially more. And she knew that Jaune only did that which was asked of him. She could see it in the way he struggled through reliving that moment.
“I wish I did more. I wish I didn’t listen to her,” Jaune had regained control of his voice for the most part. The tears coming from his eyes didn’t cease.
“It’s why you broke down there, yeah?” Ruby lessened her hold on the man and sat on the floor, taking one of his hands in both of hers. “That's why you were so mad at me. Because… you “were the only one’ right?” She understood what Jaune meant that day the paper pleaser broke the dam. “It was all my fault.”
“Ruby,” Jaune looked at his best friend finally, "you did everything you could." He let out a dry laugh. "Hell, you did more than you probably should. Almost everyone from Atlas is safe. All because of your plan." He placed a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it gently. "We all just gotta remember we're not alone."
Silver eyes looked up to deep cerulean as Ruby let out a small laugh. "I guess that answers my original question too." A tiny smile formed on the reaper's face as she stared at Jaune.
"And that was?"
"If... if you hated me?" Ruby chewed her bottom lip as if asking the question would make him hate her.
Jaune's eyes widened, then with almost too much urgency he said, "I could never hate you!" He squeezed Ruby's hand as he kept talking. "I was always thinking about seeing you, and the rest of team RWBY. You kept me going," A smile was growing on his face. It started feeling like their travels through Anima, where they would have these moments of vulnerability on the trail, or when they were switching watches in the middle of the night.
Evidently Ruby was thinking the same thing as she started to giggle a little, "Feels like the trip to Anima." She smiled more seeing Jaune nod in agreement.
"Do you want to go play some video games? I've missed having my best friend to play them with."
"Yeah."
A weight that neither of them knew they were carrying came off their shoulders as they went to Team RWBY's room to play games the rest of the day. They talked more about the events that happened before the fall of Atlas, they shared more tears over Penny, and they both apologized profusely for the way both of them treated each other in the Ever After. The air between them was clear for the most part. Something tugged at the back of Ruby's mind, but she couldn't place it. She didn't care too much though. She had her best friend back. Sure, he still needed to heal, and in honesty so did she. The feeling of despair that broke her in the Ever After still lingered. The fear of not being enough, even with the Blacksmith telling her that maybe she was enough didn't fully settle her. But she could work through that now, with Jaune by her side again. And she'd do the same for him.
She finally realized as the second hour of their gaming session plugged on, with just her and Jaune together, how much stress she was holding onto. It had left her unable to truly rest at night and now without it she was exhausted. Her silver eyes started to slide close on her bed as Jaune stopped the game they were currently playing.
"Well, that's enough of ‘Primal Combat.’ How about Grimmkart Racing?" Jaune proposed.
The response he received was the light snoring of the girl next to him leaning onto his shoulder. All thoughts of gaming were replaced with sleep. Somehow as if on instinct her arms wrapped around one of Jaune’s, squeezing it like it was a pillow or teddy bear.
The young man did his level best to try and remove the red cloaked hanger on, but she proved too stubborn. With every attempt to try and extricate himself resulting in her clinging onto him with increased fervor. He let out a sigh of acceptance and laid himself down on her bed, with Ruby following suit so as to not lose her pillow.
"My... long marshmallow" She grumbled in her sleep.
Ah so he guessed he was no longer Noodle Boy. He was upgraded? Side graded? He was some kind of graded to a marshmallow now. He let out a soft chuckle, as he closed his own eyes to rest. He would admit that after beating he received from Qrow and the emotional vulnerability of the day he was also wiped. His eyes flew open briefly panicking at the thought of Yang finding her sister and him in this predicament but pushed it aside. He told himself he would wake up in an hour, and that was something he could do without an alarm. The time in the Ever After had made it so getting up when he needed to would be easy. Thus, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.
A smile graced both of their sleeping forms.