Archive of Our Own

Shane was well aware he and Ilya did not have a normal start to their relationship. 

He hadn't seen many rom-coms, but he didn't believe many epic love stories began with a careful adherence to local smoking bylaws. Which was fine, because the years that followed after was an epic love story in a way. Though, again, sure there weren't many romantic tales where the two leads made real estate decisions based on whatever their dick was thinking, but Shane did remain adamant that he'd actually made a very savvy investment on his secret Montreal condo and the returns were excellent. Their Montreal condo, really. When Shane made the sale, it was with a surprising melancholy. Sure, the condo was drenched in secrets and a small sadness but it also held so many sincere memories.

"Yes," Ilya has said sadly when Shane voiced this to him. "It is where I made you come untouched for the first time. It will need little plaque and a dedication to my dick." He'd paused as if in genuine thought. "I wonder if the guy who did the little trophies for summer camp will make something up? I will ask."

Shane knew he was joking. Shane also knew it was probably best to double check there hadn't been a loving devotion to Ilya's sexual prowess installed on the walls before the final exchange. 

Their relationship story was a strange one, and even when their first wedding anniversary approached, it still struck Shane how weird it felt to discuss their relationship publicly - to friends, at least. Shane still remained guarded over the deeper aspects of their marriage when it came to the media and Ilya was in full agreement.

"What're you guys doing for Valentine's day?" Rose asked, taking a deep sip of her wine. It was a rare occasion where she and Shane were in the same province at the same time and they were able to talk beyond texts and calls. Shane looked to Ilya and shrugged.

"Dinner or some shit, I guess?"

"He's a romantic," Ilya added, patting Shane's hand. "Uncontrollable, as you can see." 

"We don't really do Valentine's Day," Shane continued, ignoring Ilya. "Just birthdays and we want to do something important for our wedding anniversary in July."

"Yes," Ilya said seriously. "Dinner or some shit."

"Like a weekend break or couples retreat," Shane said, taking a quick pause to shoot Ilya a 'look'. He was aiming for a 'quit it' vibe, but it tended to be interpreted as 'you are hilarious, continue unimpeded'. "You know, the wedding wasn't a huge thing - "

" - just simple, lifelong, legally-binding commitment - "

Another look, "huge thing like - we didn't make a fuss, you know?"

"Pike made the fuss for us with his video, you see," Ilya told Rose. She snorted. Shane rolled his eyes but marched on with his point.

"We kept the wedding simple and it was a wonderful day - " Shane actually waited for Ilya to interject there, but when he glanced over Ilya was simply looking back at him with a soft smile. Shane's heart immediately melted. " - incredible, really, it would be nice to do something big for the anniversary. Be .. Unashamed, I guess."

"Though, there was no shame on the wedding day," Ilya said and Shane knew he wasn't trying to be difficult, he was just stating a simple fact. Still, Shane felt the need to nod enthusiastically, keen to squash any interpretation that he was anything other than proud to married to the man sat next to him. 

"Yeah. None at all. It was the best day of my life. Our lives. There were maybe somethings we wished we'd done .."

Ilya was still holding Shane's hand and Shane took the opportunity to give him a small squeeze, which was returned immediately. Rose tilted her head. 

"Oh really? I thought it was sweet. Simple, but sweet. What, are you thinking like a huge venue or live band or something?"

Shane had often wondered about the vows. It would've been an opportunity to quite literally tell everyone he loved the extent of what Ilya meant to him, but he was also so overcome on the day that somebody telling him what to say, step-by-step, had been helpful if a little dry. 

"Personalised vows would have been nice," Ilya sounded soft and a little wistful. Another squeeze.

"A lot of people do renewals on like their, ten year? Maybe you can do it then," Rose suggested. Ilya and Shane looked to each other and Ilya sighed sadly, Shane frowned.

"What?"

"It's just," Ilya sighed again. "You will be so old by then, and I will have to replace you with different, sexy, young hockey player who is angry at me for leaving water rings on the coffee table."

"Well maybe if you read that instructional manual I got you for how to use a coaster, the sexy new hockey player won't get mad at you," Shane had actually printed a guide for how to use a coaster and left it on their coffee table a couple months back. Ilya had taken one look at it and said it was the most passive-aggressive foreplay he'd even seen and then Shane wasn't quite sure what happened, but he ended up with his knees to his chest and carpet burn on his back. The coasters remained unused.

"Why do I always feel like I'm kind of interfering when it comes to you guys?" Rose asked, looking between them. "Literally, all I think whenever I see you guys talking is 'get a room'."

"Is it strange to see what Shane actually looks like when he's horny?" Ilya asked her with genuine interest. Shane groaned and covered his face. Rose laughed.

"I'm just happy he's getting some, and getting it good."

"Please don't say 'getting it good' at my dining table."

"Why? You've actually got it good at this dining table before." Ilya pointed to one end, then the other. "There and there. Many times."

Rose threw her head back and cackled. Shane decided to revoke her wine privileges for the evening, a decision that was immediately overturned by Ilya topping up all their glasses. Rose beamed at him and took another deep swig.

"You guys are so disgustingly sweet. How long has it been since you first met? A decade?"

"More than that."

"So you're doing the wedding anniversary, but do you do a first date thing?"

"We never had a first date," Shane shrugged. It was Ilya's turn to squeeze his hand. 

"I was very sexily smoking cigarette and Shane fell hopelessly in love, no first date needed."

Rose leaned back in her chair, looking at them thoughtfully, "well, do you do anything for when it first became something more? You guys are so lovesick it's weird to imagine you don't, like, don't you do anything for the first time you knew you wanted to .."

"Fuck?" Ilya offered. Rose gave him a stern look and Shane was reminded that she was one of the few people who had some semblance of influence over Ilya.

"When we knew wanted to be more?" Ilya tried again. He looked to Shane and shrugged. "We met in October but I guess we have never really had any anniversary. Timeline is difficult, what matters is the now - we are married now, this is all I care about."

Shane's heart did a little flip. It happened so often around Ilya it was borderline pavlovian at that point. "Yeah the dating thing was never feasible for us." he said, he knew he was wearing one of the lovesick expressions Rose liked to tease them about but he didn't care. She looked between the two, smiling. 

"That's a shame," she said, taking another sip. "Shane is a perfect gentleman on dates."

"I'm sure," Ilya said with a smirk. "I imagine he didn't even try pull any moves."

Rose cackled again, "not at all. Not even during the deed."

Ilya howled and Shane downed the rest of his wine. 

They said goodbye to Rose a few hours later, watching her tipsily toddle into her car. Her driver had to steady her at one point and he looked accusingly at Ilya and Shane - which was fair, really, they were propped in their doorway and Ilya had 'whipped' printed on his forehead in smudged lipstick. Somehow Rose had ended up with 'regional finance director'. Shane simply had 'gay' with an additional 'SUPER' before it in Ilya's handwriting. 

Shane wasn't even sure at which point or which game they'd ended up with their new tattoos. The night had begun to get away from him on his third glass of wine and Ilya was a consummate host in that he could never leave a glass empty. Usually, Shane stayed completely dry mid-season but the next game was 5 days away and he figured it made for a good mental break. Usually this meant he'd allow himself a small glass over dinner with Ilya but the horse had drunkenly bolted from the stable and there was no getting it back in. They headed back to the kitchen, clumsily tidying away after dinner. 

"We drank too much," Shane told Ilya, as though this needed explaining to him. The dishwasher pods were reluctant to cooperate, maybe Shane bought a defective box? He prodded the tablet into its little drawer, frowning as it skittered around its target. Great, now the dishwasher was defective too? Behind him, Ilya cracked his temple on the open cupboard door. 

"We definitely drank too much," he said, wincing as Ilya swore and rubbed his head. 

"We flirted too much," Ilya countered. Shane raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a little offended you think there's a limit to that."

"Nooo," Ilya said childishly, pawing at Shane. "We flirted so much and now I am so horny but too drunk to do anything about it."

All they'd done, in Shane's opinion, was be honest and open about their relationship, though he had to admit it that maybe it did feel like flirting. Were they so gone that talking about devoting their lives to each other was enough to get them in the mood? Actually .. Okay, maybe it was because Shane was actually right there with Ilya. If he wasn't so drunk, he would have jumped his husbands bones already. 

Maybe Rose had a point that one time she called them 'disgustingly in love on an objective and moral level'. 

The next day Shane awoke with a low groan. He could smell a coffee on his bedside table and hear Ilya crossing the room with a clinking glass of iced water. Shane wondered if he was also going to be equipped with a merciful crossbow to the skull. 

"Good morning, тостер!" Ilya sing-songed, fresh as the freshest Russian daisy in all of Russia. 

"You're the worst," Shane moaned pathetically. Ilya patted his head.

"I know, drink your coffee."

"Why did you keep refilling my glass!?"

"Grown man," Ilya said, pointing at Shane, "capable of making his own decisions, why did you not stop drinking?"

"I was having fun."

"I know, it's why I kept refilling your glass."

"So you admit it," Shane said, though he was unsure what point he was trying to prove.

"Yes, I admit I was replenishing my husband's glass when he was having a great time with his friend. I admit I did this while I also cook a delicious dinner for my husband and his friend, so they could do nothing except sit and drink a lot of wine together," Ilya slapped his own hand. "I am a bad husband, very evil." 

"Okay, well, as long as you admit it."

Ilya beamed beatifically and placed two advil in Shane's hand, "take these, I will bring up a breakfast and then you need a shower."

"Ugh, I don't think I can move."

There was a very sudden crash from downstairs. Shane jumped and winced, "what the fuck - was that Anya!?"

"Most likely, or maybe the Pike children," Ilya said casually.

Shane blinked. Blinked some more. Blinked again. Ilya seemed completely nonplussed by Shane's sudden shutdown and shook a pedialyte sachet into Shane's water with a stern, "drink."

"Pike children?"

"Driiiink!" Ilya sang, handing Shane the glass. Shane took a few swigs, waiting for Ilya to confirm he was only kidding. Instead, he heard another crash and howls of laughter. Children's laughter.

"Ilya," Shane said weakly. "Why are they here?" 

"I said we'd babysit."

Shane loved the Pike's, he truly did, but he also loved peace and quiet when nursing a hangover and the two simply weren't compatible. Ilya settled next to Shane on the bed, which was very brave of him considering he'd just placed himself within punching distance.

"I'm hungover."

Shane would admit he deserved Ilya's exaggerated gasp of shock and the scandalised, "what!? No!" 

"Ilya, I am so hungover, I don't think it's actually legal for me to be supervising children today," he paused for a moment. "Holy shit, why aren't you supervising them!? Did you leave them with Anya!?"

"Yes Shane," Ilya said patiently. "I left four young children supervised by our dog. I feel it is time she earns her keep. It was this or make her be a little doggy chimney sweep."

There was more laughter. Laughter which was getting terrifyingly close. Shane was in no way a religious man, but he was willing to a quick conversion to any local deity in that moment. His bedroom door flung open and Hayden galloped in, Ruby squealing delightedly on his shoulders. Jade and Arthur scuttled in after, Anya running excited circles around them. Finally, Jackie appeared with a giggling Amber clinging to her hand.

"Time's up Rozanov! You've had your 10 minutes to resuscitate him," Hayden declared, ejecting Ruby from his shoulders and onto Shane's bed. She shrieked with laughter. Shane winced.

"Hi guys what a .. nice surprise."

"Isn't it just, buddy?" Hayden returned, failing in so many ways to act like a best friend or even a vaguely compassionate human being. "Don't worry, Ilya told us you were 'sick'."

"Did Ilya also tell you I will be filing for divorce?"

"Elsie's parents are getting divorced," Jade told the room, nodding seriously as though they should know who Elsie was and why her parents' divorce was a hot-button issue. Although Jackie did let out a small 'oh!' and shot Hayden a furtive glance, so Shane guessed that was their gossip for the day. 

"Well Mommy and Daddy are staying together and having a boring, grown-up day, so you be good for your Uncles, okay?" Hayden said, scooping up Jade and flinging her onto the bed with her sister. Shane tried to shoot Ilya a pleading glance and then realised he was probably better off directing his despair to an actual adult. He looked to Jackie and she had the decency to look apologetic, though it only lasted for a moment before she squinted at him, gestured along her forehead and mouthed 'super gay?'

Shane really wished for that crossbow to the head.

"Babysitter cancelled and we have a spa day booked," Jackie explained. Shane was not in the habit of intentionally being rude (as a general rule) so he didn't point out that spas were generally open on a wide variety of days and that there was no shame in rebooking and allowing him to die in peace.

"We're already running late, so we're going to shoot. Be good!"

"That applies to all of you!" Jackie added warningly, pointing at Ilya. Ilya held up his hands and had the absolute audacity to look offended.

Their departure was mildly waylaid by a mini-tantrum from Amber and Shane became vaguely hopefully they managed to dodge the babysitting bullet. Unfortunately, he married a man who was astonishingly gifted with children and it only took a few minutes of cajoling from him for Amber to begin giggling in delight. Jackie and Hayden left to go be terrible people in a spa somewhere and Shane was left with a myriad of life choices to reflect on.

"So, guys .. " Ilya began and Shane's heart sank. He knew that tone. "Shall we show Uncle Shane our new game?"

"What game?" Shane asked warily, knowing it was unlikely to be '8 hours of silent meditation and also carbohydrates'.

"It is called," Ilya took a deep breath, "the screaming game!"

Shane got the feeling akin to someone who had just jumped out a plane and realised they'd forgotten a parachute, "Ilya, please, no, I am your husband - "

Ilya let out a long, loud bellow which all four Pike children immediately copied. They ran out of breath after some time, having to pause for quick gasps, but Ilya continued undisturbed and unrepentant. When he finally stopped, he gave Shane a dazzling smile.

"Oh wow, that was great! These next 8 hours are going to fly by with a game like that, right Shane?"

Shane considered what part of their marriage vows it would violate if he threw his husband out a window.

"You're mad at me."

Shane looked up from the juice he was scrubbing from the carpet, "screaming game," he said flatly, and then returned to tackling the cherry stain that had bled onto his nice, woven rug. 

"It was very funny, you have to admit."

"I am literally shaking with how hungover I am."

"You would have no pity for me if the roles were reversed." Shane had to begrudgingly admit that was true and that his suffering was entirely self-inflicted. Still, the screaming game? Really? That must be a Geneva convention issue at the very least.

"I would never invite four excitable children into your pit of misery, though!" Shane insisted, because he wouldn't. It's mostly because he's simply not that creative, but he also sincerely cares for Ilya's wellbeing. 

"I will make it up to you," Ilya assured him. The doorbell trilled and Shane immediately bolted for it, passing the crashed out Pike children on the couch, and flung the door open. Hayden smiled dreamily back at him.

"Hey Buddy."

"I'm telling Ilya about Maine," Shane had been given 8 (and a half, which exceeded the agreed time) hours to think of a fitting punishment for his so-called friend and he figured he'd found the perfect one. The ultra zen look on Hayden's face vanished in a millisecond and was replaced with a look of total horror.

"No! Come on, please, he will never let me live it down. You barely let me live it down and you're a nice guy! Imagine what he would do with that info."

"Imagine indeed," Shane said drily. The Maine incident was an unspoken vow of secrecy between the two, sealed by their friendship. Hayden was apparently keen on playing fast and loose with the concept of 'friend', so Shane was feeling unmoved.

"Please, we didn't try to make your life difficult, it just had to be today, okay? Today's our anniversary."

"You got married in August," Shane pointed out. He could hear Ilya herding the Pikes and Shane realised with a smug smile that he was re-explaining the rules of the screaming game and stressing how important it was to save the rematch for the journey home.

"Our first date anniversary!"

Ilya had successfully corralled the children and their belongings and was shepherding them thorough the door. As they passed Hayden, each child expectantly stood on their tip-toes to receive a kiss on the forehead, which Hayden signed off with a loud 'mwah!' and would receive a tired giggle in return. Ilya paused next to Hayden as well.

"Well?" Ilya asked, cocking his head. Hayden shook his head.

"Get fucked."

The Pikes had made their way to the car and were being strapped into their seats by Jackie. There was a chorus of 'uh-oh daddy!' and a look from Jackie. Hayden sighed. 

"I nearly made it an entire week, thanks Rozanov."

"First Shane blames me for his self-inflicted hangover and then Pike blames me for his inability to keep his language PG," Ilya shook his head sadly. "It is very hard, having no faults of my own and having to shoulder others."

"Ilya," Shane said loudly, deciding to pass over the remark. "Did you know that when Hayden and I were in Maine this one time - "

"No, no, no! Please Shane, c'mon!"

" - and it was nearly Christmas - that's important - "

"Please! Shane, I'm sorry but this day means a lot to us! It's when we first said I love you!"

Shane was genuinely taken aback by this, "you said I love you on your first date!?" Maybe it was Shane's turn to be the bad friend as he didn't actually know that particular fact and it was probably something which would have sounded good in his best man speech.

"Yeah," Hayden said, glancing over his shoulder to where Jackie had clearly heard the plans of a round of 'screaming game' and was doing some pretty expert interception. "We first met in a club but that doesn't count as a date, so a few days later I took her to this nice restaurant in Montreal and we just didn't stop talking, so we went for drinks and we were pretty buzzed walking by the river and that's when I told her."

"Ah," Ilya said knowingly. "She was drunk when you first met and also on your first date. Many things are making sense."

"Shut up, she said it back and meant it. We both did," Hayden actually looked vicious in that moment. Potentially more vicious than Shane had ever seen him on the ice. "I knew she was the one before our appetizers even arrived. Love of my life, straight away. Bought the ring the next day."

At that, Ilya said, "that is a very nice story, Pike" and he actually sounded sincere. Shane opted for, "wait, are you a Mormon?" because he was genuinely curious and thought it was the kind of thing he should know.

"Hayden!" Jackie's zen from the spa day seemed to have also vanished. Shane looked at her and then back to Hayden. He remembered when they first met and Hayden's genuine inability to stop talking about her. It was not long after Shane met Ilya and Shane remembered thinking that Hayden was somewhat foolish and that nobody could meet the love of their life just like that. 

"Coming babe!" Hayden waved apologetically and looked at Shane, "I know we were screwing around this morning, but he," Hayden jabbed a finger at Ilya, "said we should."

"Liar," Ilya lied.

"This really is an important anniversary for us, okay? We wouldn't have put you out if we weren't desperate."

Shane eventually relented. He knew he'd opened a can of worms by dangling the Maine story in front of Ilya and withdrawing it so hastily, but he was certain he could keep the secret even if Ilya began to pester him. Mostly certain. 

"Fine."

"You're the best guy in the world - seriously, we know we owe you for this. And just to reiterate, this morning was Ilya's idea!" Hayden gave Shane a quick fist bump and Ilya a look which said 'your move, Rozanov' which was an objectively stupid decision and Shane was dreading the retaliation. Shane waved the Pikes off and went to find Ilya who at least had the decency to resume scrubbing the juice stain.

"How are you feeling?" He asked Shane. Shane gave him a look and collapsed on the couch.

"Like I just babysat four kids on a raging hangover."

Ilya looked up from the rug and it was infuriating how appealing he looked gazing up at Shane through his eyelashes, a glimmer of a smirk on his face. He knew exactly what he was doing and unfortunately, Shane had no ability to resist.

"You're the worst," Shane told him. Ilya cocked his head.

"Now is that anyway to address the man who ordered you Chinese food?"

The doorbell trilled again, Shane literally could not summon the energy to get up and answer it. He looked to Ilya hopefully, who simply shrugged, "well, is it?"

"Were you being serious about the Chinese food?"

"Were you being serious about me being the worst?"

"Please Ilya, I really want crab rangoons or some lo mein or something."

"Maybe my feelings are so hurt by your comment about me being the worst that I am unable to move from this spot where I sit, sadly scrubbing at the floors, just like the little mouse-pauper woman with the bad shoes."

"Mouse - wait, you mean Cinderella?"

The doorbell rang again. Shane looked pleadingly at his husband.

"Please."

"Can't," Ilya said, continuing his scrubbing. "I am too sad, too overworked. I am the 'worst' you see."

"Jesus, fine! You're not the worst. You know you're not, you know you're my best friend. You know you're funny and I laugh at you even when I really don't want to, okay? You're handsome and sexy and caring and considerate, because even when you're bringing four children into my home, at least you brought me coffee and pedialyte."

"And how am I in bed?" Ilya asked coquettishly, which was not an expression Shane knew Ilya could pull off.

"Incredible, I am ruined for all other men, et cetera, et cetera," the doorbell trilled impatiently, followed by some insistent knocks. "Huge dick - you have one, not that you are one," for Ilya had begun to protest. "I am the luckiest guy in the world, we have regular incredible sex and you blow my mind every single time and I am dying, please Ilya!"

Ilya took pity on Shane and rose from his squat. He then reached for Shane, snaking his hand under Shane's back. Shane blinked, confused.

"What're you - "

"It'll be Hayden," Ilya said, finally finding what he was looking for. He pulled out a familiar stuffed toy. "You are squashing Chompy."

Shane was too feeling pathetic to convey the depths of his annoyance in that moment, so he simply closed his eyes and breathed out a deep mediative sigh. It was no big deal, he could simply order himself some takeout, but the thought of Chinese food in the next five minutes had felt like a blessing and he was bitterly disappointed. He could hear Hayden and Ilya at the door. Shane groaned as he brought up DoorDash - 50+ minute wait? Great. Just great.

Ilya returned as Shane was scrolling through his options, trying to decide whether a family platter had any place in a macro conscious diet. Ilya gave him a soft look.

"Seriously?"

"You made me want Chinese food," Shane grumbled, adding the family platter and an extra side of wontons to his order. Ilya quickly pulled up something on his phone and handed it to Shane.

Your driver is on the way with your order from Golden Dragon! Expect them in the next 5 minutes 

"Extra crab rangoons," Ilya informed him, dropping a kiss on his nose. "For a crabby man."

Shane scrolled through the order, unable to contain his grin, "oh the spicy soup! I forgot I liked that."

"I didn't," Ilya said smugly. He gathered up the cups from the coffee table (none of which had been placed on a coaster) and headed to the kitchen, leaving Shane with his phone. Shane knew he had a stupid giddy smile at the thought of food to come and Ilya's ability to predict what he was craving before Shane even knew, but he also knew Ilya was due some kind of comeuppance for the 'screaming game'. Shane surprised himself with how quickly he thought of it - the night before, Rose had taken many photos, including one of Ilya shirtless and beaming, proudly displaying the 'whipped' across his forehead. Shane pulled it up and opened twitter to update Ilya's profile picture.

Ilya had already changed the photo himself. 

The next day, Shane had mostly recovered. The living room rug had been bundled away as a stained, lost cause and Shane was able to get most of the watermarks from the wood of the coffee table. Ilya was still asleep as Shane clipped on Anya's leashed and toed on a pair of sneakers.

"Shh, Anya," he said as she yipped joyfully, tumbling out into the fresh morning air. Shane didn't take his headphones and instead opted to enjoy the sound of birds around him and the rustle of trees. There was also the distant hum of traffic, but Shane tuned it out, focusing instead on the steady buzz of nature.

"Hey there!"

Shane jumped as did Anya. Kate jogged over. Kate was the mother of Willa and Andrew, two children who lived in a house down their street. They were a sweet family and ardent Ottawa supporters. 

"Hey! Sorry, the kids wouldn't forgive me if I forgot," Kate held out a small pink envelope. "They made a bunch of Valentine's cards in class, you know, 'love isn't always romantic' sort of thing. They wanted to make sure you guys got one."

"Oh," Shane looked down at the handmade cards. Ilya was going to melt when he saw it. "That's nice, thanks. They're great kids."

"Aren't they?" Kate said proudly. "Don't worry about anything in return, every single kid in every single class sends each other a card and there's only so many I can put on the walls."

"Well, thanks. We don't actually do Valentine's Day usually so these are fun," Shane wasn't too sure if 'fun' was the right word and he generally considered Valentine's to be banal. Still, the kids were cute and the card seemed to have a sweet little drawing of Shane and Ilya and Shane had a feeling it was going to be inducted to the fridge of fame as soon as he took it home.

"Oh me and Daniel go nuts on Valentine's day," Kate said. "It was our first date. Both big romantics so I guess we thought we'd start as we meant to go on, right? But it worked out - coming up to eight years married!"

"Congratulations," Shane said, feeling his shoulder separate as Anya began to tug him in the direction of her regular walking route. "Sorry, but she's - " he gestured to his dog and Kate help up his hands.

"Ope, don't let me keep you. Take care! Tell Ilya the kids say hi!"

Shane waved behind him and continued on his route, lost in thought. He and Ilya had gone out for dinner together sure, but that was after they were outed. Did it still count as dating ten years after you met? Shane figured Jackie and Hayden had date nights and they'd been married nearly as long as Ilya and Shane had been ... interested? Fucking? In love? Their timeline was messy, and there was no real moment to pinpoint their start together. 

Shane wondered what a first date with Ilya would have looked like. He remembered dating Rose and it had been fun getting to know her and exploring different restaurants. What would Ilya be like? Flashy, probably. In the early days at least. Dating Ilya Rozanov was probably being picked up in a sports car, whisked away to a bar too cool for Shane and then being relentlessly fucked into the mattress by the end of the night.

Hm, there were definitely parts of that which sounded pretty appealing. 

What would a date look like now? They tended to order pickup rather than sit in a restaurant and they watched Netflix rather than go to the movies. They weren't ashamed to be seen kissing in public and in fact relished in holding each other's hand whenever they walked Anya together. The problem was really pride versus privacy. Shane loved that the world knew he loved Ilya Rozanov. He didn't love that somebody once listened in on their conversation about a way to mark Irina's birthday as they waited for a pickup order. It had been a surprisingly casual conversation, fuelled only by the fact Ilya had seen a new Russian place across the street and thought it would be a nice way to commemorate her, by eating her favourite meals. He'd told Shane she never stopped loving the simple dishes she'd grown up with and thought his father's attempts to bring in extravagant dinners to flex their wealth was sickening.

The next day an article had circulated, declaring Ilya to have been raised by a simple farm girl with no understanding of Western decadence and gosh, how must it have been for Ilya coming to the country with his broken English and backwards ways taught by his humble mother? Ilya saw the article and did not speak the entire day. Shane called his mom and told her to do whatever she could do to burn that publication to the ground and fair enough, he'd not actually seen anything from them since. 

Shane thought about learning about Ilya outside of their hushed conversations, wrapped naked in each other in hotel rooms. He couldn't imagine learning about Ilya over a bowling match after they first met (though Ilya would likely have learnt a lot about Shane's competitive nature)

He considered what he would do if he had to plan their first date. He imagined in that scenario they were .. Early twenties? What would Shane have done? Rose had wanted to go pumpkin picking with Shane for a date, but they'd never made it. Would Ilya enjoy that? Sure, the Ilya Shane was married to probably would, if only for the chance to instigate 'a find the biggest pumpkin' competition or to drag him into a corn maze or something. 

Shane wondered what it would be like if they'd met in a club like Jackie and Hayden or at university like his parents. Maybe to not even be famous, maybe they fall in love in a universe where Shane is a vet and Ilya is a doctor? Or one where they both work the same boring office job and Ilya antagonises Shane over photocopies and morning coffee? What would their relationship story look like then?

Anya barked and scattered a load of pigeons. Shane snapped a quick photo of her leaping happily into the air, breath foggy in the crisp cold. He was happy with what they had and he knew Ilya was too. If changing a single thing about their past meant changing anything about their present, then Shane wouldn't adjust a thing. 

He made his way back home, Anya leading the charge and Shane meandering thoughtfully after. 

"Do you ever think about what we would have done if we had the chance to date like a normal couple?" Shane asked Ilya over breakfast. He was eating muesli with almond milk and Ilya was eating a future doctor's appointment, it was a pretty standard affair. 

Ilya shrugged and took another spoonful of something Shane was pretty sure was pretty sure his dentist would suplex him over, "not really."

"I guess it would rely on us not being public figures but say .. I don't know, we only met now. Like somehow we managed to navigate an entire hockey career without ever meeting directly, we came out individually on our own terms and we suddenly bump into eachother and fall completely in love, do you think we'd still go on dates then? Or just do what we do now and hang out at home?" 

"I think," Ilya said slowly, "you are thinking a lot about what Rose said. Pike, also"

"Kate too," Shane admitted. Ilya raised an eyebrow. "I bumped into her when taking Anya out. Willa and Andrew drew us that by the way," Shane pointed to the card stuck to the fridge and Ilya's face lit up with delight.

"Nice kids," he said fondly. 

"Yeah - so you really never think about it?"

Ilya looked back to him with a soft smile, "sometimes, but I am happy now. We have complicated story, but it is not worth thinking about what we want different. We can change things anyway, like Rose said, we can do our vows on our 10 year anniversary."

"You're not going to be too busy with your new, young hockey player?" Shane asked drily. Ilya shrugged again.

"No, I think you will have killed him in a jealous rage."

"So I spend our 10^th anniversary in prison?" 

"Sexy, right?"

"Hm," Shane stood to deposit his bowl in the dishwasher. Ilya reached out and caught his hand. 

"You are thinking a lot about this. Does it make you sad?"

Shane looked at his husband and smiled, shaking his head, "no, I was just thinking .. Well, I had fun with Rose when we dated - stop smirking - and I think you would have been fun to date too." He kissed Ilya quickly on the cheek and checked the time. He was running late for a teams call with Farah and then it was his turn to grocery shop. He quickly poured a cup of coffee and excused himself, leaving Ilya to watch after him thoughtfully. 

Shane picked up the avocado (using a baggy as a makeshift glove because he'd seen what the general public did to fresh produce) and examined it. It was approaching perfect ripeness. Good colour, he thought and gave in an experimental squeeze. He dropped it in the cart, satisfied with his pick. 

The grocery store was busy and Shane was eager to finish and get home. The meeting with Farah had overrun and Ilya had disappeared by the time Shane had finished. Shane couldn't remember what Ilya was meant to be doing that day, so he figured Ilya had just gone to hang out with one of the guys. They would have a nice evening together at the very least, maybe Shane would even try a new recipe. 

There was a sudden clatter as another cart made contact with his stationary one. Shane went to instinctively apologise to the person because he was raised correctly, after all.

"I am so sorry," came a very, very familiar rumble. "I did not mean to, I was distracted."

Shane looked up at Ilya and then down to the cart Ilya had crashed. It was stocked with mostly candy and two bottles of lube. There was also a kiddie pool for some reason. Shane raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell do you have planned?"

Ilya blinked, looking genuinely surprised, "well that is a very personal question - ?"

He tailed off as if waiting for something. Shane narrowed his eyes, confused. What the hell was happening?

"Huh?"

"Your name," Ilya prompted. "I am asking your name. I'm Ilya," Ilya extended a hand and Shane noticed he wasn't wearing his ring. It shouldn't have been a big deal because they did have to take them off for a variety of reasons, but he couldn't hold back the small scowl at the sight of Ilya's naked hand. Shane warily took it in his own and Ilya clasped them together firmly, folding both his hands over Shane's.

"Shane."

"Shane," Ilya repeated dreamily, finally releasing Shane's hands and sticking one of his own directly in his pocket. "Well, I am sorry for crashing our carts, Shane - even though you parked yours terribly and it was your fault."

Shane scowled again.

"But I was a little distracted," Ilya gestured to Shane's face. "Your freckles, I could not stop staring. I have never seen something so beautiful."

Shane wasn't too sure what Ilya was doing, but he was very sure that the guy by the tomatoes recognised them and was craning his neck to nosey at the lube in Ilya's cart. Great. 

"Well that's nice of you Ilya, but I'm a married man," Shane went to gesture with his left hand only to pause. Where the fuck was his ring? He glanced briefly down to the pile of avocados and to the discarded baggy in the trash, had he dropped it there? Ilya rocked on his heels, whistling inocently and Shane realised one of Ilya's hands was still in his pocket and remembered how firm the handshake was. Ilya grinned, eyes shining.

"You don't look very married, Shane."

So roleplay was not something they were strangers to. Landlord with a tenant overdue on rent. Hotel guest and Bellboy. Hockey player and adoring fan. It was fun, sexy and Ilya never made fun of Shane's acting skills. Shane did sometimes have to give notes on the narrative though, because it bothered him when Ilya got Ontario lease and tenancy regulations wrong. 

"Hm, my mistake," Shane tried to figure out where this particular roleplay was going and where the fuck the lube and the kiddie pool factored in. 

"So you are single?"

"Apparently."

"I am incredibly surprised someone as beautiful as you has not been snapped up by a very sexy and rich man who is also the best at hockey, but I won't complain," Ilya tore off a sheet of wax paper from the rack and quickly scrawled something. He handed it over.

"Call me," Ilya said. Shane squinted at the paper.

"Wait, this isn't your phone number."

"It is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"No it isn't. I have yours memorised in case of emergency."

"I have no idea how you could remember a stranger's phone number," Ilya said loftily. "That is mine. Look, give it a call."

Shane dialled the number, somewhat wary Ilya was making him call a phone-sex line or something else vaguely mortifying. Instead, Ilya's pocket began to buzz and his withdrew an unfamiliar looking phone. Just how much was Ilya committing to the bit?

"And now I have your number!" Ilya said happily. "Hm, shane from grocery store," he typed, reading aloud. "You are now saved in my phone." 

Shane took the prompt to save Ilya in his phone. He saved it as Ilya (?) because there was very much still a big question mark over the whole situation. 

"Are you going to call me sometime?" Ilya asked. Shane looked down at Ilya's new contact in his phone and then back up, to his husband .. or not-husband as the case may be. He also looked at Ilya's cart of confusing items and gestured towards them.

"Only if you tell me what the hell you have going on in there."

"Candy is for me and kiddie pool is for my very cute dog," oh that actually made sense, Ilya had said he wanted to get her one, "and the lube .. Well, maybe you'd like to find out why I have that, hm?"

Shane was not proud of it but he blushed at the look Ilya was giving him. It was a look he'd received a thousand times, hungry and dark, but it felt so raw in that moment, as if Ilya was undressing him with his eyes but had never seen what was underneath. Ilya smirked at Shane's blush, evidently very pleased. Ilya reached out his hand again and Shane shook it, feeling Ilya's calloused fingers little graze the soft skin on his wrist. He made a heroic effort to not do something wildly inappropriate for a grocery store, like moan. 

"So, if I were to text you, would I get a reply?"

Shane tried to school his face into something more dignified, a little more nonchalant, "maybe."

"Well," Ilya began to push his cart away, throwing Shane a quick look as he passed, "I might text."

Shane stared after him, throat suddenly very dry.

"I might reply."

Shane had a very confused and frankly, horny, journey home. He'd definitely forgotten half the items on his list and he'd crashed his own cart several times into several strangers. However, none of those interactions had ended with foreplay and Shane was pretty sure there was a small subset of grocery store patrons who believed that Shane Hollander was a genuine moron. 

He was desperate to get home. What was Ilya planning? He'd made them exchange numbers, so maybe phone sex? He'd probably get Shane even more riled up, talking to him low and slow, instructing him what to do or maybe telling Shane what he was going to do to him. Yes, that was it, he'd talk Shane through how he was going to take him apart piece by piece, moan by moan and just when Shane was close, the doorbell would ring and there Ilya would be, ready to make good on his promises.

Ilya's car was not on the drive when Shane pulled in. He clumsily packed away his groceries - he'd somehow managed to buy 3 bottles of vinaigrette but no milk - and then settled on the couch, watching his phone. He reached out after a moment to turn the ringer up, just in case.

No call. Ten minutes passed and Shane was embarrassingly twitchy, as though he was jonesing for his husbands voice. Suddenly, his phone chimed and a text from Ilya (?) came through. Shane snatched it up quickly. 

Ilya (?): it is me, Ilya from the grocery store.

Another chime

Ilya (?): I cannot stop thinking about you

Same Shane thought

Ilya (?): your face and your body drove me insane 

Shane shuffled forward in his seat expectantly, unzipping his fly. He was half-hard already.

Ilya (?): I keeping thinking about the way you said my name

I'll moan it for you, if you like? Shane considered typing this thought out, but he would let Ilya finish. No doubt he had something planned. 

Ilya (?): I want to take you out for dinner

Oh?

Ilya (?): are you free tonight?

He was still slightly hazy from getting himself so riled up, so it took a moment for Shane to realise what Ilya wanted to do. He didn't want phone sex. He wanted a date. Shane zipped his fly back up, adjusted himself and typed out a reply.

Shane: yeah

It looked a little lackluster next to Ilya's declarations, so Shane added a quick 😎

There was a surprisingly long pause before Ilya replied.

Ilya (?): send me your address, I will pick you up at 7

Ilya (?): we are going somewhere nice

Okay. So he and Ilya were going on a date. How much was Ilya going to commit to the bit? Shane wondered. He still texted their shared address over to Ilya as instructed, to which Ilya immediately reacted with a heart-eyes emoji. Shane couldn't help relate because what the fuck was his husband doing to him? Shane sighed and rested his phone on his chest, smiling to himself. He had no clue where Ilya currently was but he knew he wouldn't see him until 7 o'clock that night. 

On his chest, his phone began to buzz. Ilya's contact flashed up - his real contact, it had 🍆🥵 next to it as they were currently in a game of Ilya sneaking it onto his contact and Shane wearily deleting it every time. It was not a fun game. 

"Bro," came the unexpected greeting. "You'll never guess."

"Huh?"

"I have a hot date tonight. 10/10. Smokeshow."

"Uh .. " the narrative was getting slightly confusing. Shane was not married to Ilya in this fantasy, but he was supposedly his 'bro'? But also, they didn't know each other? "What?"

"'What' what?" Ilya asked innocently. "I am talking to my best friend about a hot date. My best bro. This is what guys do."

Shane rolled his eyes but in truth, he found it unbearably sweet. It was starting to make sense. Kind of. Not really. 

"Score. So tell me about them, Bro," Shane said, flopping back onto the couch. Ilya sighed dreamily.

"I saw him in the grocery store. He was picking out avocados. He looked like a man who knew when they'd be just ripe, you know? Very sexy of him."

"Oh really?"

"Yes," Ilya purred. "He was probably picking out the brightest, greenest avocados."

Oh. Shane wasn't actually sure if he should intervene. After all, Ilya was doing the shopping next week and Shane had been on a bit of an avocado kick recently, "um, I actually think - "

"He knew what he was looking for, so green, just ready to eat," Ilya continued, ignoring Shane. Shane had to interject.

"Well then he'd be picking out the darker avocados with a little bit of give."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Shane said firmly and then felt the need to add, "I just have really been enjoying my salads, you know? And you're shopping next week - "

"Shhh, bros do not shop for each other. We are bros and I am telling you about the hot piece of ass I am taking out on a date. Besides, maybe hot piece of ass will show me how to pick good avocados."

It really shouldn't have done something for Shane to hear Ilya describe him as a 'hot piece of ass' but there he was, grinning like a loon. He's pretty sure Ilya could hear his smile, "so what're you going to do to impress this guy? Sounds pretty special."

"Maybe," Ilya said thoughtfully. "I have booked table at nicest restaurant in Ottawa, which is not saying much, but I will impress him in other ways."

"Like?"

"Pick him up in a nice car, pay for dinner and tip the staff generously," Shane actually did find it very sexy when Ilya did that, "ask about his life, his interests, his family. Fuck him until he's a whimpering mess. You know how it goes."

Shane tried to sound nonchalant. He was pretty sure he failed, "wow, so you think he's definitely going to put out?"

"I know his type. He'll be begging before the date is over."

"Hm, maybe. You seem pretty hung up on this guy already, are you sure you're not going to be the one begging, bro?" 

Shane knew he was instigating a competition. He also knew it was one he may struggle to actually win, but he'd figure it out. Ilya may have his ways but Shane definitely had some of his own. Ilya was definitely grinning to.

"We'll see."

"Hmmm," Rose hummed pensively. "Try the blue."

Shane shrugged into the blue collared shirt and turned back to the camera. His phone was propped on his dresser, Rose watching him from the screen. She shook her head.

"No, white shirt, I think. Where did the black pants go?"

Shane fumbled through the stacks of clothing on his bed and retrieved the pants. He stepped into to them and looked over for her reaction. She nodded with satisfaction. 

"Yep. That's the look."

"Really?" Shane looked down at his outfit. "Hayden told me these look like his wife's pregnancy pants. The waist is a little high, y'know?"

"I remember Hayden," Rose said dismissively. "Nice guy, but he dresses like a frat bro. Trust me, you look hot - although .. " she gestured to her neck, "undo a couple of buttons on your shirt."

"Seriously?"

"Cleavage is a first date must," Rose said, still gesturing for him to release a few buttons. "My tits looked incredible on our first date, not that you noticed." 

Shane relented, undoing a couple of buttons and then a couple more at her gesturing, "does it count as cleavage if you're a guy?"

"It absolutely counts as cleavage and Ilya is going to be barking like a dog. Ugh, I'm so good at making my gay ex-boyfriend look good for his husband."

Shane had to admit she really was. Still, he couldn't help but look nervously in his reflection, "are you sure I don't look like a waiter?"

"Shane, if there was a restaurant where the waiters dressed like that, it would be known as the restaurant where nobody eats and everybody just sits there wanting to fuck the slutty waiters."

"Slutty?" He couldn't pretend he was anything but slutty for Ilya, but he wasn't sure the world needed to know it. 

She waved him off, "in a very good way. Tastefully slutty."

"Sure."

"Are you going to tell me what the occasion is? You haven't asked me for help with clothes in a while."

It was true, Shane had called her out of the blue and after they commiserated over their hangovers from the day before and wondered how Ilya yet again escaped unscathed, Shane had awkwardly asked her to help pick out an outfit. She'd immediately clapped her hands with glee and instructed him to pull every item from his wardrobe and strip.

"It's, uh, a date."

"A date?" She tilted her head, "I thought you guys didn't do dates?"

Shane tried to hide his blush as he fussed with his hair in the mirror, "we're just trying something," he mumbled.

He could hear Rose snickering.

"Ohh, so maybe this is less about the date and more about the adventure," she purred. Shane could see himself flush a deeper red in his reflection, wishing Rose perhaps knew just a little less about their bedroom habits. Rose only laughed at his crimson cheeks and shook her head fondly.

"Seriously, may a love like yours and a sex life as interesting find me one day."

Shane checked his watch. 18:56, Ilya would be there any moment. Shane had actually been waiting by the door before he realised that was perhaps a bit too eager. Was it possible to be too eager to go on a date with your husband? Maybe when you were in a scenario where you weren't actually married. Shane looked down to his hand, the ring still absent. He knew Ilya would be guarding it with his life, but he missed the comforting weight and the small glints of gold that would remind him it's real, you did it.

There was a crunch of gravel on the driveway and Anya gave an excited bark at the sound of familiar tyres. At 19:00 exactly, there was a smooth tapping at the door. Shane stood, Anya scampering around him as he went to answer. Why was he so giddy? He swung the door open and Ilya was lounging on the frame. It was completely dark out and he was still wearing sunglasses and Shane wanted to tell him he looked like a prick but unfortunately, he looked infuriatingly attractive. And kind of like he recently had glaucoma surgery. 

"Shane," Ilya drawled, slowly removing the glasses and looking him up and down. Shane felt the familiar flutter from the grocery store return. "You look incredible."

Ilya was in full black, his shirt also slightly unbuttoned so Shane had to give Rose kudos for her point on first date cleavage. He was wearing a leather jacket which Shane didn't know he owned and sleek black trousers. Shane thought momentarily about dropping to his knees and undoing Ilya's fly with his teeth. It looked as if Ilya was having similar thoughts and they spent the next moment drinking each other in. Ilya's gaze was indecent at best and Shane wasn't sure his was much better. It would be so easy to pull Ilya in and kiss him, bite his lip and tear off his shirt and Shane was so, so tempted.

But they had already initiated a game of sorts and Shane wasn't ready to beg - yet.

Thankfully, Anya grew tired of their staring at each other and flung herself at Ilya. Shane had to surpress a small snort as he let out an undignified 'oof!' 

"Sorry," Shane said, watching Anya jump excitedly up at Ilya, her tail swishing frantically. "She's just very friendly."

"She's a good girl," Ilya said, recovering some of his dignity. "I love dogs."

"Got one of your own, right? That's who the paddling pool was for?"

The paddling pool was obviously for Anya and though Shane knew Ilya was committing to the bit, he wasn't going to go as far as getting another dog (probably) Ilya seemed to think of this narrative plot hole for a beat or two before nodding.

"Yes, she looks exactly like her."

Nicely recovered, Rozanov, Shane thought wryly, grabbing his own jacket and luring Anya back in the house with a toy. He stepped out of the house but Ilya held up a hand.

"Wait."

He ducked into his car and drew out a bouquet of roses. Shane stared. They'd never really given each other flowers - impromptu gifts, yes, like treats from the bakery they liked but never flowers. 

"For you."

Shane took them and looked up at Ilya, who winked, obviously aware that Shane's thoughts had hurtled back to the 'dropping to his knees' territory. Shane licked his lips and swallowed. 

He should have really known that Ilya on a first date would be like Ilya in any other aspect of his life. A fucking menace. 

On the way to the restaurant, Ilya had made small talk about the recent cold snap and said he was very impressed with Shane's avocado picking abilities and would he perhaps teach Ilya a thing or two? Shane had listened, waiting to be prompted with a question. Even with a man he'd known over a decade, small talk was still weird to him but Ilya hadn't seemed to mind. It actually made Shane feel safe in this fake first date. Like he could relax with this person and his unwavering social skills.  

About 10 minutes from the restaurant, Ilya rested his hand on Shane's thigh. It was definitely a subconscious gesture and Shane wasn't going to acknowledge it, but then he remembered that sure, this was a sweet little thing Ilya had thought up but it was also a game and Shane was in the business of winning games. He cleared his throat. 

"Kinda forward, don't you think?" 

Ilya turned to him, briefly lifting his gaze from the road. He noticed his hand rubbing soft lines up Shane's thigh and retracted it hastily.

"Sorry, hard to resist."

"Well, I'm not that easy, so hands to yourself."

Ilya's gaze darted to Shane's shirt and raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure you're not," he said. Shane knew Rose was full of it when she said the shirt was 'tastfully' slutty. But also, shame on Ilya for assuming Shane wanted him feel Shane up because of the shirt he was wearing. Shane wanted to Ilya to feel him up because he was wildly and uncontrollably desperate for his dick, there was a difference. 

The restaurant was beautiful. Shane thought they might've eaten there one or twice before, but Ilya walked in as though he owned the place, greeting the hostess warmly and - Shane noticed with a small grin - immediately and subtly sliding a few notes into her hand. They were lead to their table and Ilya immediately drew up Shane's chair.

"Really?"

Ilya shrugged. Shane settled in, folding his hands together nearly, "at least you found your manners again."

"My apologies, I will keep my hands to myself all evening," Ilya said, sounding worringly sincere. Shane decided it was just another obstacle in their game. 

"Make sure you do." 

They settled in a silence. Was it awkward? Was this what first dates were like? Ilya was looking interestedly around the restaurant and Shane was watching his gaze. They'd definitely been here before, Shane remembered liking the salmon. It was Jackie's birthday and the waiter dropped the cake onto Hayden's lap. Shane grinned at the memory and Ilya caught his eye, clearly sharing the same thought.

But no, they couldn't be. Because they were two strangers who had just met.

"So," Shane began, tapping his fingers on the linen. "Do you usually make a habit of asking out guys in grocery stores?"

Ilya leaned back in his chair, his comfortably, cocky smirk firmly affixed, "only the truly irresistable ones. I would never have forgiven myself if let you walk away."

God damnit. How the hell was Ilya so smooth? A waiter arrived to take their drinks order. Shane hastily declined the wine list, not quite ready to put his liver through that again and opted for his tried and true ginger ale. Shane was expecting Ilya to go for a neat vodka, or maybe a seltzer with a twist of lime, something sleek and poised to match the alter-ego he seemed to be wearing for this date.

He went for a mocktail called the 'Berrylicious Baby'.

It arrived in a hurricane glass, a skewer of berries poking out and several cocktail umbrellas jammed in it. Unfairly, Ilya still looked sexy drinking it and Shane decided he was going to up his game. Through casual chit-chat, they established a few key facts about their little universe whilst they sipped their drinks. Firstly, they were both still hockey players and simply had never interacted off the ice. Secondly, Ilya had no intentions of making good on his earlier promise to keep his hands to himself and was constantly brushing up against Shane's wrist or his fingers. 

Fine. Fine! Game on.

"I was raised here in Ottawa, lived in Montreal for a bit whilst I played for them," Ilya blew a small raspberry at the mention of Montreal, Shane carried on, "but moved back to Ottawa after .. Uh, creative differences."

Shane wondered how Ilya was going to work around the fact they supposedly played for the same team but had never spoken to eachother in their life. Ilya seemed to be thinking this too, and there was a brief pause before he spoke.

"I grew up in Moscow - that's in Russia," Iyla added, likely because he knew the assumption he didn't know where Moscow of all places was would annoy Shane. "but moved to Boston when I was 19. After a while, I moved teams."

Okay, time to see how Ilya was going to navigate this little narrative roadblock, "oh, to where?"

"Nottawa." 

Shane laughed. Like, really laughed at that because his husband was ridiculous. Ilya looked delighted and Shane could only shake his head and mouth 'nice'.

Their game was surprisingly fun. Ilya was still lightly brushing up against Shane's hand, but Shane had instigated a very subtle game of footsie under the table, so they were tied on that front. Shane had opted for a straw in his drink so he could chase it with his tongue and look deep into Ilya's eyes every time his took a sip which had really worked right up until their appetizers came. Ilya had immediately scooped a bit of something onto his finger and put it in his mouth. He groaned low, eyes fluttering shut.

"This is so good," he said, opening his eyes to stare at the soon-to-be-puddle which was Shane. "You should try it."

And Shane would never, in a million years, remember what Ilya fed him that day. Only that he scooped some up onto a fork and then leaned over the table. He cupped Shane's jaw and brushed his thumb along his cheek, and said a quiet, direct.

"Try."

He was not asking. It was an order. Shane nodded, very sure Ilya could see his pulse racing in his neck and took a mouthful. In a last ditch effort to regain the upper hand, he gazed up at Ilya.

It had the opposite effect, because Shane's self control started to take a very rapid downturn as Ilya's his met his and he slowly lifted another delicate forkful to Shane's mouth. He gave an approving nod at Shane's compliance and swiped a thumb across his lip. 

"Good, yes?" 

Words had left the building and Shane was going to have to re-group and re-strategize. 

Early lead for Rozanov.

"Can I see that drinks menu, please?"

The waiter handed Shane the menu and advised he would return momentarily. Shane flicked it open and read it studiously. After a moment or to, he shook his head and sighed.

"Sorry, I just need to - " he rifled in his jacket pocket and withdrew his glasses. It was a cheap shot and not a particularly creative one, but Shane had an idea. Ilya has settled back into his chair, looking annoyingly smug that he had reduced Shane to such desperate measures so soon.

Or so he thought.

"Hmmm," Shane gently bit the arm of his glasses, considering the menu thoughtfully.  He then shook his head and placed the glasses down on the table, never having lifted them near his eyes. "I'll just get another ginger ale or something."

Ilya looked confused, glancing between Shane and the glasses as though he could force them on telepathically. He tilted his head.

"You should not give yourself eyestrain."

"I don't need them, like I said," he snapped the menu shut and nodded to the returning waiter, "another ginger ale, please. Maybe another mocktail?" He looked over to Ilya, who was poorly surpressing a grin.

"Just a cola, thank you."

Ilya's eyes continued to dart between the glasses and Shane, his fingers drumming impatiently on his crossed arms. Shane squinted across the restaurant.

"Is that the specials board? I don't remember them saying there were specials. I can't see, is there anything good on there?"

"I cannot see," Ilya said, not even pretending to turn and look. "Maybe try - "

Shane waved him off as he gestured to the glasses, "no, it would be rude to the kitchen to change my order this late, right?"

"No."

"It would, I won't do it. I'll stick with chicken salad."

Ilya glanced over his shoulder at the board and clicked his tongue thoughtfully, "it looks like they have lobster on there."

Shane actually did love lobster and he genuinely didn't know there was a special on that evening. By the time their orders were taken, the game of footsie had started and Shane's thoughts were otherwise occupied.

"Oh really?"

"Hm, maybe," Ilya squinted. "My eyesight is also not very good, you may have to check. With the glasses. You will have to wear your glasses. I think."

Shane hummed thoughtfully and then shook his head.

"No thanks, I'll stick with chicken."

Ilya failed to hide another grin and he mouthed 'mean' at Shane. 

1 - 1

Dinner was genuinely delicious and Shane wasn't too disappointed with his choice (although he did see a server go past with a plate of lobster and resolutely did not look at Ilya when it did) Their touches had only increased whilst they had been waiting for their food. But when the meals arrived, it seemed as if was halftime and they could stop scoring points and start .. Well, whatever you were meant to do on dates.

"What is your dogs name?" Shane asked. Ilya pulled up a photo of Anya playing in the sprinklers and showed Shane.

"She is Anya."

"Very cute."

"And your dog?" Ilya asked, pocketing his phone. "The one that looks like Anya, who is she?"

Shit. Shane had not actually thought of an appropriate substitute for her name. Fido? Barkley?

"Mildred," Shane said confidently. Ilya gave him a look of 'where the fuck did that come from?' And it wasn't unwarranted. 

"Dogs are important," Ilya said after a beat. "I always wanted one growing up, but my father wouldn't allow it. He didn't allow much."

Shane had wondered if Ilya's parents would be brought up. Google had told Shane that childhoods were a common topic on first dates, but he wondered if Ilya's might be too harsh to bring into their little game. Shane reached out and lightly covered Ilya's hand.

"I'm sorry, you deserved more."

"You are sweet," Ilya loosely interlinked their fingers and moved his chair around the table, closer to Shane. "Tell me about your nice childhood."

Shane talked about growing up and falling in love with hockey. He talked about his parents. He talked about breaking his arm in fifth grade and trying to sneak out to practice anyways. It occured to him that his past seemed .. Narrow. A small universe centralised around hockey and yet in front him sat the new centre of his solar system, shining with a bright smile.

"You have always been very driven," Ilya commented. Shane shrugged.

"I just knew what I wanted from an early age."

Ilya drew in close, "and what is it you want now?"

Potentially a charge of public indecency and a thoroughly ruined reputation, "depends what's being offered."

"Mm," Ilya picked up Shane's hand. "Depends what you can handle."

Play had resumed. 

Shane excused himself to the bathroom to try and gather his composure. He'd lost track of the score (which was a terrible sign in itself) and need to recuse himself to try and claw back the upper hand. Ilya had just made Shane a little origami flower out of a napkin and when the fuck did he learn origami? Shane had tried to learn origami with his mom once as a way to connect with their Japanese heritage - only they both grew impatient with the little slips of paper and their reluctance to represent swans and just made dumplings together instead.

How pissed would the kitchen be if Shane ask to borrow a steam basket? Pretty pissed, probably. 

Shane's phone buzzed in his pocket. He wondered if sending Ilya a nude right then would violate the rules of their game and whether it would count as begging. He also wondered what Ilya Rozanov had done to him to put him in a position of considering taking nudes in a public bathroom. 

Shane's phone buzzed again. He dug it, wonder if it was Ilya pestering him to come back.

It was Rose. 

Rose: you are soooo welcome btw

Shane scrolled up to a screenshot from Rose's own messages.

Ilya: you are a very evil woman

Rose: 😇😇 i dont have a clue what you are talking about 

Ilya: shane does not voluntarily wear these things

Ilya: i know, I have tried to convince him many times 

Ilya: waiter wont stop staring

Ilya: i am going to have to fight so many people in this room and I am very busy man, landry

Ilya: he is going to kill me with this

Ilya: when I die bury me in my husbands chest 

So the outfit had .. Worked. Shane looked at his reflection. He still felt slightly exposed - because he was, really - but there was no denying the impact it had. Shane traced the collar of his shirt and bit his lip. He was already testing the limits of his comfort zone, and though he was enjoying Ilya's attention, he wasn't enjoying the apparent attention of strangers in the room. He'd not noticed any looks from anyone else, but he'd been so zoned in on the task at hand, he guessed it made sense to not realise any stray glances. Undoing a few more buttons may actually kill Ilya from the sound of things, but - 

Shane had a sudden idea. He thought of his glasses and smiled.

His hands made quick work of doing up all his buttons bar the topmost and Shane smoothed the shirt. He was definitely looking waiter-ish now and he may have to swerve some tables incase he got flagged down and there was a slight part of him that was worried he may actually take their order out of sheer politeness. 

Shane exited the bathroom and looked over at Ilya on their table. He looked beautiful, lounging carelessly in his chair, idly chewing the stirrer from his drink. Shane watched as a waitress passed him and asked him something. He said something in return which made them both laugh and Ilya's teeth flashed dazzlingly white and slightly crooked and Shane's knees went weak.

"Hey," Shane settled back at the table, trying not to make the fact he'd just been staring obvious. The waitress left their table and Shane was left with Ilya who was just staring.

Pouting.

"What happened?" He asked in what might've been a very bad actor's impression of a casual person. Shane shrugged. 

"Oh, you know."

"Did it get too cold in here? I will tell them to turn the air conditioning down"

"No, it's fine."

"You should not suffer in silence, let me call the waiter over," Ilya actually went to call the waiter, Shane had to grab his hand and bring it back down to the table.

"No! I just thought I was maybe not appropriately dressed for this restaurant."

"There is no one complaining. Not a soul."

"And maybe the waiter was staring, you know?"

Ilya glared at the accused waiter, "I will have him fired."

Jesus Christ.

"No," Shane said firmly. "I'm fine."

He was better than fine. He was delighted. Rose may have accidentally unlocked a new level of feral in Ilya. All of Shane's moves that evening and it had essentially been tits that broke Ilya? Were they even tits on a man? Another thing to ask Rose. 

"Let's order dessert," Shane could see Ilya was calculating his next move. It was fascinating, Ilya had seen Shane's bare chest that morning when he was walking around in nothing but a towel and had not batted an eyelash (he had swatted at Shane's ass as he walked past, but it would have been weird if he didn't) but in that moment he was looking at Shane as though he'd taken away the promise of a birthday present. Of all birthday presents, in perpetuity. 

"Yes. Let's."

Ilya insisted they should share a dessert, rather than have individual ones. His chair had mysteriously moved next to Shane's and their thighs were pressed together to the extent of nearly being uncomfortable. Shane still didn't move.

Ilya made no more attempts to feed Shane any more food, but it didn't mean he was taking mercy on him. His arm was casually wound around the back of Shane's chair and he would occasionally brush his fingers across the nape of his neck, making small delighted noises as they made their way through the delicate slice of tarte in front of them. 

Shane was maintaining his composure. Even when Ilya reached over and gently picked off a stray thread from his shirt, leaning in so close their faces were nearly touching. Shane held his nerve, thanked Ilya politely and then went back to wondering if any would notice if he crawled under the table and sucked Ilya's dick.

"Hey fellas, sorry to interrupt your evening, but I gotta say we are just huge fans," an evidently tipsy man had stumbled over to their table, his mortified looking wife scuttling after him. "Followed the Centaurs for 30 years, but you two have brought the team to life," he slapped Ilya's shoulder and winked. "Score for us, will ya?"

Shane could only stare as Ilya laughed and nodded, "at least three times!" He promised him. The man was being steered away by his wife and she mouthed a quick apology which Ilya waved off with a cheery grin. Shane blinked.

"Did you just tell that guy we were going to fuck three times tonight!?"

"Hockey, Shane, they were talking about our game on Wednesday," Ilya tutted, shaking his head. "Where is your mind right now? I value modesty, please remove brain from gutter."

That was absolutely not going to count as a point to Ilya. But it could turn into one for Shane.

"You want to know where my mind is?"

Ilya stilled. Shane leaned in close, as close as they were when Ilya was picking at his shirt. 

"It's not in the gutter. It's under the table, and I'm on my knees for you."

Ilya kept staring down at the dessert. There was a muscle twitching in his jaw. 

"I've got you in my mouth and you're fucking it, hard."

Ilya pressed the fork down into the tarte. It crumbled, and white chocolate smeared across the plate. He didn't he even pretend to take a bite.

"I'd take it all though. I'd swallow it down. I'd have to touch myself because you would get me so, so hard. Just from having you in my mouth, I'd be desperate," Shane nuzzled Ilya's ear and though they weren't afraid of PDA it was certainly a new level for them both. Ilya finally looked at Shane, breathing deeply. He was quiet for a moment but then finally spoke.

"I would be under the table, instead, I think."

Shane swallowed a small whimper. He really thought he was going to win that one, but he was at a point of being dizzy with desire and he had kind of stopped caring about scores. 

"Yes," Ilya said thoughtfully, tracing his hand around Shane's face, "I would be under the table and you would feel my tongue very, very gently on you. And you would be squirming and holding in sweet little moans, but," Ilya tapped his finger lightly on Shane's nose, "you would not be allowed to. Nobody could know what I was doing to you, so you would just have to behave and pretend you are not about to start whimpering like a slut."

Shane was done. He was done. He was done. 

"Ilya," he said desperately and as though he wasn't the one to start this entire thing, "we are in public."

Ilya wordlessly indicated to the waiter 

Check please

Shane had to carry his jacket out of the restaurant to try and hide the fact that his dick was literally straining in his pants. Ilya was in a similar predicament, but he refused to remove his hand from the small of Shane's back as they walked out to his car. The journey home was silent, but the air felt thick and Shane lost track of time. It was as if he'd snapped out of a trance once they pulled up outside their house. Ilya opened the car door for him, and Shane took his hand.

"Let me see you to your door."

They could still play their little game, sure, but Shane had lost track of the rules. And the score. And possibly what his own name was. 

Shane unlocked the door, Ilya leaning on the door frame as he'd done earlier that evening. Shane breathed out shakily, he could remember this part from his Googling - invite them in for a drink, easy.

"Would you like to come in for a drink?" Shane asked, keeping his tone measured and trying not to pant. Ilya nodded, looking somewhat nonchalant but also slightly relieved as if Shane was insane enough to not want to be fucked very thoroughly within the next 15 minutes.

Anya greeted them joyfully, her paws skittered on the wood as she jumped at them. Shane fussed her for a moment before grabbing up one of her favourite toys and her bed and quickly piling it in the kitchen, along with a few guilty treats as he locked the child gate.

"Smart," Ilya said, lounging onto the couch. "But where's my drink?"

They had a drinks cart in the living room, a few feet away from the couch and well stocked to Ilya's tastes.

"Sorry, all out," Shane breathed.

"Well that is disappointing. What can I have?"

Shane caved. He threw himself into Ilya's lap, pinning his thighs between his own. Ilya smiled, eyes closing slightly as Shane ground down into his lap.

"What do you want?" Shane asked, nibbling at the shell of his ear. Ilya muttered something to himself and opened his eyes.

"I want you to fix your fucking shirt."

Shane looked down to the still tightly buttoned shirt. He slowly undid one of them. Then another. Then .. Wait, fuck, how many buttons did he originally have undone? Ilya frowned.

"Why did you stop?"

Okay, so maybe he did have more undone. Jeez, really? That was a lot of buttons. There was definitely going to be some sort of pap shot of his chest in the tabloids some point soon.

"Here."

Ilya reached forward and gently pulled Shane in by the shirt. He fondled the hem for a moment, running his hand up the seam of the buttons. His face was inches from Shane and his eyes were dark and deep.

"Like this."

Ilya yanked Shane's shirt. Hard. Hard enough to tear it. Shane let out a small, involuntary gasp. His shirt was hanging half off him, something which Ilya took great offence to and he tugged the rest of it down, dropping it to the floor. Shane's reserves of resolve had run dry and he was desperate, he grabbed Ilya's face. 

"Better," Ilya breathed. Shane could only firmly bring him in for a kiss, because he was done holding back and every single piece of self-restraint had been torn away with the shirt. He whimpered as Ilya kissed him back hungrily, goading Shane into rolling his hips in time with his own and Shane realised that he was close just from their few desperate minutes of dry humping. 

"I don't want to come like this - "

Ilya groaned, because he always found Shane being embarrassingly easy hot. Shane let him press hard, biting kisses on his neck for a moment or two before he pulled away and dropped to his knees. Ilya shuffled back, legs widening and eyes fixed so firmly on Shane it was as if he was the only person in the world. Shane met his gaze as Ilya unzipped himself and gently fed a hand through Shane's hair.

"Is this what you were thinking about?" Ilya asked, voice deep. "Crawling under the table and letting me use your mouth?"

Shane nodded, lips parted.

"Were you thinking it in the grocery store? Did you know you'd be so desperate for my cock by the end of the night?"

Yes. Obviously. He'd been desperate all evening, but there wasn't a chance in hell he could form a coherent sentence, so he just let out a soft moan. It was quite literally all he could manage. He took Ilya in his mouth, running his tongue along the length. Ilya's grip in his hair tightened. 

"You wanted me to fuck your mouth, yes?"

Shane nodded, breathing heavily through his nose. Ilya moves his hips, thrusting into Shane's mouth with ragged gasps. Shane could only moan, hand desperately undoing his own fly and reaching for his dick. He whimpered again as Ilya pushed harder. He could feel tremors in Ilya's thighs, hear his breath quickening.

"I need to fuck you," Ilya growled. "I want to come on your pretty face but I want to fuck you. I want you to be a mess, what have you done to me?"

Shane, yet again, could only moan. He was going to need a t-shirt that said 'I went on a first date with Ilya Rozanov and all I made were whoreish moans'.

"Let me fuck you," Ilya had not stopped thrusting, but he also sounding like he was pleading. He pulled Shane back by the hair, gazing at his tear streaked face with awe.

"So fucking beautiful."

"Bedroom," Shane whispered back, finally finding a word and unsurprised by how wrecked he sounded when he said it. Ilya nodded and stood, dragging Shane up with him. Shane couldn't remember who led who to the bedroom, only that he was nearly tripping over the ottoman once they made it there. Ilya shoved him onto the bed, tugging off his own shirt and stepping out of his pants. Shane realised he must not have been wearing underwear and let out a small 'fuck'. 

"Strip," Ilya ordered. Shane nodded, dragging off his pants and flinging them to the floor. Ilya was crowded over him within seconds, pressing ravenous bites and kisses to wherever he could reach. He grazed his teeth on Shane's thigh and ran his tongue along his cock. Shane gasped, head flung back.

"So fucking desperate for it," Ilya whispered in awe.

He left Shane for only a moment, rifling through the drawer for lube. As he went to settle back, he gave pause to drop a disarmingly soft kiss to Shane's lips.

"Beautiful," he said again in the same awed voice.

Shane tried to find a way of saying you're beautiful too, you're perfect, you're everything I need, but Ilya had begun to lazily circle his hole, fingers slick with lube and Shane was hurtled back to an incoherent mess.

"Please," Shane whispered raggedly. "Please."

Ilya pushed a finger in, Shane writhed, pleading for more and the look on Ilya's face was nothing short of anything, I'll give you anything, just ask. His eyes never left Shane's face, drinking in every expression and groan.

Ilya had three fingers in by the time Shane was starting to get close again. He somehow managed to stutter out a "ready, please." To which Ilya immediately clumsily shuffled back, his own desperation evident. Shane watched him for a moment before choking out a small, "wait!"

Ilya stilled, placed a hand on Shane's knee.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"I want to ride you."

Ilya swore, his hand shot up to grasp at Shane's face and it was still slick with lube. Shane whimpered.

"You're going to fucking kill me," Ilya bit out, bringing Shane in for a messy kiss. "Fuck, yes, ride me."

Ilya leaned back on to the pillows and Shane rolled over. He had to take a moment or two to gather himself before he climbed into Ilya's lap. Ilya positioned his cock and Shane lowered himself down. They both moaned into each other's mouths, sneaking in small desperate kisses. Shane flexed his hips and Ilya gave an appreciate groan. Shane rolled them again. And again. The creaking of the bed was almost obscene as he rode. Shane braced himself on the headboard, Ilya's grip on his hips tightening. There would be marks on his thighs by the morning and something about that made Shane let out another long moan. 

"Fuck, I'm so close - I'm so close - " Shane panted, Ilya just nodded, his eyes unfocused and hazy, as though he was a million miles away but somehow also in the room with Shane. His hand found Shane's cock again and he gave him a few rough strokes before Shane was gasping, spilling onto Ilya's chest and hand. Ilya made a low, pleased sound and lifted his hips, thrusting hard and eager until he was also gasping, with his eyes fluttering shut and a choked out, "Shane!"

They lay there for a while, heartbeats settling with each other. Eventually, Shane began to squirm because he loved the afterglow and he loved cuddling but he also loved not being sticky. He tried to get his limbs to coordinate and make him leave the bed, but all he achieved was flopping from atop Ilya and onto his side of the bed. Ilya yawned and rolled away from Shane. Shane would have questioned why he left, but he was too boneless and dazed to do much more than crack an eye open and watch his husband walk into the ensuite and return a moment later with a damp cloth. Shane sighed happily as Ilya ran it up his thighs, across his stomach.

"So spoiled," Ilya muttered, dropping a kiss on the recently cleaned skin.

"Mm."

"So needy, I thought we were going to get arrested for indecent exposure if we stayed in the restaurant any longer."

I would have allowed it, Shane thought. Ilya seemed to read his mind and he placed a small kiss on Shane's nose.

"You would not have let me get that far. Even though I wanted to bend you over the minute you stepped out in that slutty shirt."

"Uh-huh," you have no idea how far I would've let things go.

"So," Ilya rested his head on Shane's chest. "How was the date?"

Shane smiled, "pretty good, I think he might be the one."

Jesus, did he sound fucked out. Ilya smiled, nuzzling into his neck and both lay there for a moment before Ilya left the bed again to discard the cloth and begin searching on the floor for something. He picked up his pants and stuck a hand in the pocket, withdrawing two gold bands. Shane smiled.

"There they are," Shane said, flexing his hand which ached for the company of it's ring. Ilya watched Shane for a moment.

"Sit up."

"No."

"Shane."

Shane grumbled and reluctantly shuffled to the side of the bed, legs dangling. Ilya got to one knee, holding Shane's wedding band between his fingers.

"Will you marry me?"

Shane rolled his eyes, but he was smiling like an absolute fool. It was okay, because Ilya was too. He held out his hand and allowed him to slide the ring on, just as he did on their wedding day.

Their wedding day ..

Shane had his final idea of the night. He grabbed the ring from Ilya before he could put on his own. Ilya looked to him quizzically. Shane pulled him up onto the bed with him, held his hand and exhaled. The ring was glinting in his hand, trembling as he held it at Ilya's fingertip. He was still riding the afterglow high, but there was something else thrumming through his veins. 

"You are my best friend," he told him. "I am a better person because I know you and my life is brighter. Happier. There's probably a universe where I never find you smoking outside in Saskatchewan. There's probably a universe where we never fall in love. But I doubt it, because in any universe where we are in it together, I think I'll always find you and chose you. I vow," and Shane may actually have something stuck in his throat or something in his eye but it was fine because again, Ilya seemed to as well, "to always be by your side and fight your corner. You are the love of my life and the person who makes me want to do bigger, better things and I promise I'll do all of them with you. I will be there whenever you need me, no matter how hard things get. I promise I will love you, always."

Shane slid the ring on and just as it had done on their wedding day, his hand shook. Ilya steadied it and took Shane's hand in his own. He cleared his throat. 

"There is no one on this earth I love more than you. I have not had a lucky life, but I am a lucky man today because I have you and those around you. I have always believed in souls, but now I believe you are the reason I have one," he squeezed Shane's hand, running a finger around his wedding band, "I promise that you have all of me, forever."

Forever. Shane thought dreamily, bringing his husband in for a kiss. Ilya rested his forehead against Shane's for a long moment with his eyes closed. 

"Bro," Shane said quietly and after some time. Ilya's eyelashes fluttered as his cheeks quirked with a smile.

"Bro," he returned seriously.

"I just rode some guys dick so hard that he proposed."

Shane smiled as he felt his husband shake with laughter.