Chapter Text
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
Ange, if the Rickets send one more note about their “hospitality requirements,” I’m gonna walk into the lake. It’s the Empty Bottle. They’re lucky if the toilets flush. Please remind them they are not, in fact, playing the Aragon, and that Drainage will happily take the slot if they want to keep being precious about the rider. Tina already said she’s down, even with the late notice.
Hit me when you hear back. I’m chained to the bookshop all week and pulling a double on Thursday to train the new girl, so I’m 0% here for Robby’s swanning shit.
Xo
Hel
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
Hel,
Roger that, babe. I think they’ll cave if they know we have a replacement.
And if they don’t, well, it’s awfully convenient that Tina is your girlfriend.
Don’t go too hard on the new girl, you bad beeyotch.
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
Fuck you, I’m nice.
_________________________
[sticky notes on the computer in the back office at work]
Hi Bob,
The new girl (Karen? Carol?) is real quiet but she pays attention and asks questions when she doesn’t know something. Kinda dresses like a prep school boy meeting with the principal, bit of a wallflower, but I think if she can relax a little she’ll do fine.
You can schedule her with me if you want for her first couple of weeks. I can get her up to speed. Maybe even get her to do something about that tragic wardrobe.
Cheers,
Hel
Hel,
Appreciate your eval. Carol seems smart to me, knows her literature. We’ll see how she does with customer facing but if she’s better in back, that’s what I have you for.
Bob out
____________________
[from Helen's notebook]
LIGHT BULB:
Organize an event at Scrap? Skate park = built in crowd. Why don’t they have bands?
Back lot could take a band crowd. Rickets are too big, but Who’s Yer Baghdaddy or Drainage could do it. Sound system rentals suck though.
Scrap owners are lazy about events, must have something to sweeten the pot. This can’t involve a lot of labor on their part or they won’t do it.
____________________
[from Helen's notebook]
It turns out the new girl Carol has a mouth on her. You just have to be standing close enough to hear it.
Kid came in and asked her what she should pick for her book report project, Hemingway or Woolf, and she told the kid, “Neither, read Larsen’s Quicksand, same era, but it’ll hit you right in the chest.” The kid thanked her and went to find the book. And then under her breath she said, “Hemingway wrote his women like fucking furniture.” I said, “Well, he wrote men like furniture too.”
She was so surprised that I heard her, she turned a little red. But props to her, she recovered. She said, “Yeah, furniture that drank a lot.”
Maybe this’ll be more entertaining than I thought.
_________________________
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
Don’t want to call now because it’s super late, but Ange says that Robby has backed down so we don’t need you guys to bail us out on the Bottle show.
I was thinking about putting something together at Scrap. If indoor capacity is too small for Drainage to headline we might be able to set it up in the back lot. What do you think?
Hope Ann Arbor is treating you OK. Missing you. I’ve got Cletus to keep your side of the bed warm but he’s a cat so. He doesn’t stay there the whole night and he wakes me up by stomping on my face instead of sitting on it.
xo
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
You’re such a romantic. I’ll make sure to wake you the right way when I come back.
Scrap is an out of the box idea but i don’t hate it. Did you talk to Ange yet?
__________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
Carol might not like eye contact too much but she has INTENSE opinions about Hemingway. I don’t like him, I find his posturing to be a turn-off but she seems MORALLY OFFENDED by it. She says it’s toxic masculinity and honestly? She’s not wrong.
Can’t figure this chick out. Is she queer or just a weird nerd?
QUEER or JUST A WEIRD NERD?
Khakis and argyles - weird nerd
Huge fantasy reader - weird nerd
Hates toxic masculinity - honestly who doesn’t? But maybe queer.
Has not mentioned men - either but leans queer
Maybe I should fuck with her and ask her if she liked Memoirs of a Geisha.
_____________________________
[cell phone transcript]
Helen: How are we doing on the ticket sales?
Angie: Not bad. The Rickets are justifying their existence at least. We might actually (gasps) break even on this one. Is Tina coming?
Helen: Nah, since we don’t need Drainage for that night, they’re gonna do an extra night in Detroit.
Angie: And you’re cool with that, huh?
Helen: Comes with the territory.
Angie: Rock and roll widow.
Helen: She’s not dead, she’s on tour. Anyway, hang onto those extra tickets.
Angie: Why, who you bringing?
Helen: I’m gonna invite the weird nerd girl at work.
Angie: What, the new girl? Karen?
Helen: Carol. Yeah.
Angie: Do I need to worry?
Helen: Noooo, it’s not like that at all. Nah, I’m just curious.
Angie: Is she into women?
Helen: I have no idea what the fuck she’s into except fantasy novels.
Angie: Oh, god. A fantasy nerd? Have you lost your mind? Is she gonna corner Robby Ricketts and vomit Tolkien lore at him or something?
Helen: Yeah, she’s… not much of a talker.
Angie: Real party animal, eh?
Helen: Yeah yeah.
___________________________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
Carol shelved another shipment of “The Bridges of Madison County” like she wished she was wearing rubber gloves. I hate it too, but I had to laugh because she really looked like she was in physical pain. When someone came in looking for it, she pointed toward the section with a look like she was begging god to blink it out of existence.
I asked if she hated it that much and she just said, “it’s fucking manipulative.” And I said, “look, I don’t like romances either but it’s some people’s thing, you know?” And she shook her head and said, “It’s not a romance. It’s an affair. It ends. And she… just goes back to her life. What was any of it even for?”
Fuck, man. I don’t know.
__________________________________________
From: [email protected]
Re: Scrap
Listen I like the Scrap idea. Maybe we can pair it with a skate demo by somebody big. I know someone who knows Chad Muska. What do you think?
Sorry we’re staying the extra night in Detroit. I know you’ll have a great night though. Robby’s a dick but the Ricketts pull a good crowd. Winry Rockbell are a good draw too, even tho they kind of suck haha.
Give Cletus a pat on the head for me if he’ll let you. Don’t fuck any of those softball hotties. Not without me anyway.
From:
Re: Scrap
Ha ha ha
- Cletus is a host unto himself, I can promise nothing.
- Half my softball team is straight babe
- Winry Rockbell are my friends, don’t talk shit about them
Missing your ass.
Xoxo
hel
_________________________________
[From Helen's Notebook]
Carol Sturka. What kind of name even is that?
_________________________________
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
Well, Robby is going to be unbearable after this. We cleaned up. Or, you know. Cleaned up for us, at least.
Anyway, you split before I could catch you, so I have your cash: a cool $267.50. Don’t spend it all in one place.
That Carol chick is cute, in a weird nerd way. I see what you mean about the clothes -- the khakis and the argyle sweater, my god. Could have pulled that off with the right attitude but she was completely out of her element. But she hung in there. Credit where credit is due, I guess. Did you learn anything?
From: [email protected]
Re: end of month at The Bottle
Well, with numbers that good, we could really be thinking about the next tier of venue for the Rickets. Don’t tell Robby I said that. He has an ego the size of the Sears Tower as it is.
Carol … yeah, she’s cute I guess. Or she would be if she got a little confidence, maybe. And yeah, the clothes are tragic. I thought it was like her work aesthetic, but that seems to just be the only aesthetic.
Anyway, sorry I split early. She was getting overstimulated so once things were dying down, I walked her outside. I asked her what she thought and she said she’s not really into punk. I’m like why’d you come then? She kinda shrugged and was like… you asked me.
I don’t get vibes like she’s into me. I do get vibes like she’s painfully shy and doesn’t have a lot of friends. She was drinking a lot. Like a surprising amount.
I’ll pop by this week for the money. I need to talk about this idea I have for a show at Scrap.
____________________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
Carol Sturka, I can smoke my cigarettes by myself. You don’t need to come and watch me smoke them.
Oh, you’re getting air. Okay then.
______________________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
QUEER or JUST A WEIRD NERD?
Khakis and argyles - weird nerd
Huge fantasy reader - weird nerd
Hates toxic masculinity - honestly who doesn’t? But maybe queer.
Has not mentioned men - either but leans queer
Always comes for smoke breaks with me even tho she does not smoke - a little queer
Keeps looking at my tat that disappears under my shirt and looking away really fast - holy shit that feels very gay
____________________________________
[telephone transcript]
Angie: Okay, well, what happened?
Helen: I dunno, you know. Tina came to pick me up, and she was Tina. She kissed me hello, no big deal, whatever, and Carol was shelving some stuff and she got real quiet and looked like she wanted to fade into the walls all of a sudden.
Angie: Uh huh. All of a sudden.
Helen: Yeah, um. Anyway, I introduced them and Carol said hi without making eye contact and disappeared into the back.
Angie: Okay, so I’m waiting for the part where this has become an issue.
Helen: Well, so Tina said what’s her deal, is she like, autistic or something?
Angie: Well, is she?
Helen: Not the point, Ange. Anyway I said, I don’t know, she’s shy and she’s organized. It’s none of my business.
Angie: Okay, and?
Helen: I just didn’t like it. It was kinda rude. She was talking shit about Winry Rockbell the other day too. I don’t know, it just put me off. I don’t know if she’s always been a little rude and I just didn’t notice it, but…
Angie: Well, are you just bitching or do you want my opinion?
Helen: I don’t know. No, come on. Just give it to me straight.
Angie: Straight?
Helen: All right, whatever. Give it to me gay.
Angie: I think Carol is into you.
Helen: Okay, and?
Angie: And what? Are you happy with Tina?
Helen: Yeah. No. Maybe. I don’t know. She’s on the road half the time.
Angie: Well, you understand that whatever you’re going through with Tina, Carol can not be a factor, right? I don’t need to tell you that?
Helen: Look, I told you. I’m not into Carol like that. I just didn’t like that Tina said that shit. It was a little mean. Carol could have heard her and it probably would have made her feel a little bad.
Angie: would you look at that, bitches, chivalry is not dead.
____________________________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
Tina, I love you, but this isn’t working out.
Tina, it’s not you, it’s me.
Tina, this has been a hell of a year, personally and professionally. What we’ve had has been really great. It’s been meaningful, and it’s been fun. And Cletus likes you as much as he’s ever liked anyone, so that’s something you should be proud of and take with you going forward.
But it’s also been hard, because you’re gone a lot. I’m not asking you to change that. I wouldn’t. You’re good enough to be the next Courtney Love, and I’d be an asshole to hold you back. But even with how busy I am and all the work I do, I still get lonely when you’re not around. Loving you doesn’t cancel that out.
I wouldn’t cheat. I don’t do that. This isn’t about that at all. We can have all the sexy phone calls we can make time for, but it doesn’t change that you aren’t actually here, and as warm and furry as he is, Cletus is not really good for keeping me warm in bed.
You need to do what you’re doing. And I’m trying to build something that’s rooted here. I think you understand where I’m coming from. I hope we can still be friends. Yeah, I know, lesbian cliché, but I do mean it.
I love you, and if this hurts you, I’m sorry. But I think we’ve traveled as far together as we can.
___________________________________
[sticky notes on the computer in the back office at work]
Hel,
You seem a little off. You burning the candles at both ends? You need a day or two? If you want I can give you Sunday and Monday. The ex-wife’s back in town so I wouldn’t mind having the excuse to be around the store.
Let me know.
Bob out.
Bob,
You’re a gem. I’m ok. I just broke up with Tina. No big deal. It was time.
Anyway, I’m good to come in Monday but I actually wouldn’t mind Sunday off.
__________________________________
[cell phone transcript]
Carol: Hello?
Helen: Carol?
Carol: How… yes? Helen?
Helen: Hi. How are you enjoying the mall?
Carol: How the hell do you know I’m at the mall?
Helen: Because I’m on the other side of the food court. Look up, I’m over by the Au Bon Pain.
Carol: Oh fuck. Oh, hi.
__________________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
I think I feel a little bad for ambushing Carol at the mall. It kind of seemed like she’s the kind of person who needs some advance notice if she’s going to be expected to socialize. I just saw her and she was sitting by herself and I thought she looked lonely
It was friendly and everything. She seemed a little shell shocked. I dragged her to Hot Topic and I found this leather jacket that I talked her into buying. It wasn’t like a real punk rock thing with studs or anything. It was actually just a nice, black jacket with clean lines and subtle zippers on the pockets. I said, look, the collar even pops, if you want to.
She said she didn’t think she was cool enough to wear it like that. She almost said she didn’t think she was cool enough for it at all, but I wasn’t hearing that. I told her the secret Dad told me: most times, you’re cool by just deciding to be cool. d
I don’t think she bought it. But she did buy the jacket.
__________________________________
[from Helen's Notebook]
QUEER or JUST A WEIRD NERD?
Khakis and argyles - weird nerd
Huge fantasy reader - weird nerd
Hates toxic masculinity - honestly who doesn’t? But maybe queer.
Has not mentioned men - either but leans queer
Always comes for smoke breaks with me even tho she does not smoke - a little queer
Keeps looking at my tat that disappears under my shirt and looking away really fast - holy shit that feels very gay
Looked like she might faint when she saw me across the food court — weird nerd
Followed me anyway — queer
Said she wasn’t cool enough for the coat — weird nerd
Tried it on anyway — queer
Looks good in it –– queer
I noticed all of this — oh no