Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Simon wasn't dead. 

Was he? Had anything made sense in the past 24 hours?

You are awake

his heart dropped, what was that? He was disoriented, around him was darkness visible. He wasn't sure if he couldn't move, or no longer had a body to move.

He wanted to communicate with what ever had been talking to him, but he had no mouth. Or did he? God, he had no clue. 

Stop struggling, I will bring you back to a plane of existence you can experience in a moment, Simon.

Before long, Simon could feel his body again, and it was in pain. He screamed out. 

Is that better?

"What the fuck is this!?" Simon screamed, "What are you! What did you do to my body!" 

This, Simon, is the inside of the forth blood ocean. 

"This is not the blood- AAARGH!" Simon felt the pain of his blood returning to his legs. 

You have been smart enough to evade me for days, yet you aren't smart enough to figure the twist out yet, are you?

"I-..." Simon breathed, "You're a fish, I get it. A talking- OH GOD! A TALKING ONE! Apparently." Simon gasped as pain flooded through his body. 

Closer

"Oh, then care to EXPLAIN!" Simon felt pain in where his arm used to be. Phantom pain, as it was once described. 

The blood that runs through the planet's ocean is my blood, I am all on the planet and all are me.

"A hive mind?" Simon realized.

Now you get it. 

"So what's this? Every time a new human comes here, you hunt us for sport, then play with us in... where ever this is? You said this was the forth blood ocean, right? How can it be-"

One Question at a time, Simon. As I said, this is the forth blood ocean, but not as you experienced it while alive. When humans enter the ocean, I consume them, but not as other predators do. Where as you, Simon, digest your meat, mine becomes a part of me, it's memories, it's life.

"... So the voice? She was someone?"

Consumed by the blood ocean. Yes.

"Is she dead?' Simon asked. 

When you get energy from you meat, is the meat still alive because of the energy you gain from it?

"That's not how humans think of ourselves." Simon explained,

Are you not used to thinking of thinking of yourself as prey?

"I mean... ok, so her memories are still around?"

Yes

"And you, the ocean, you use them?"

They are part of me, as all things that enter the blood become.

"Then she's still alive, somewhere."

You humans think of everything as living or dead. She is a part of the blood ocean now. 

"Is that what I am? Part of the blood ocean?"

No. You were extracted from your existence and pulled into mine. You are not living, dead, or part of the blood ocean, Simon. You simply are Not."

"I... I don't exist?"

What ever you desire to call yourself is not my place to say.

"yeah, well..." Simon got up, "Can you send me back, That black box could save humanity, and I was told I get to walk free now that they have it. So I'm not too interested in sticking around-"

I will not be sending you back, Simon.

Simon looked around for somewhere to turn to who ever was holding him captive here. 

When you humans come to my ocean, destroy my vessels and radiate me-

"Look, I didn't know-"

I want to know how to get rid of you and your kind once and for all.

"So this i a hostage negotiations, sorry to tell you, I was only as valuable as that black box," Simon snapped, "If you tell them that you're going to keep me here at the bottom of the blood ocean, they'll ask you if you swear." 

It is not hostage negotiation, Simon. It is research.

"...Pardon?"

I desire to study you, Simon.

"What?" Simon asked, his mouth seemingly turning dry.

I suppose I am also fascinated, humans infest my blood, I want to understand them. All living things just want to live. What keeps you humans so determined to think what ever humanity needs to live is at the bottom of the ocean. 

tendrils ran up Simon's leg, he tried to shake them off, but they persisted and made their way to where his arm once was. "Stop!" he screamed, but they grew off him, forming a new arm, then solidifying. His new arm was indistinguishable from his old one. Down to the arm hair and skin. "What the hell-"

I have a rudimentary understanding of human evolutionary biology, from the others.

"H-how did you get the mole above my elbow-"

I granted you the ability. It is in my powers, but I gave you a sliver so as to recreate your arm from your own memory. 

"You can read minds then?"

Nothing of the sort. I simply gave your mind a limited ability to exist on my level so as to be able to create. 

"But I wasn't thinking about my arm?"

No, but the memories are in there somewhere, I just gave you the power to mold them.

"I don't understand-"

I do not expect you to. You asked, I told. 

Simon glared, "I am not going to be your little experment to figure out what makes humans ti-" Everything went dark again and Simon couldn't feel his body.

There is nothing you can do to stop me, Simon. If I so desired, I could make your pain endless and set your nerves on fire. You say you are a convict, Simon, welcome to your next life sentence.

Simon whimpered, "please don't hurt me." He begged quickly. 

Then don't be a brat. 

"I don't want to be kept here against my will, I don't... I just want to be free. That's all I want." Simon said. he hated how pathetic he sounded. but it was the truth. If he had to beg for it like a child wanting to stay up just a little longer, he would. 

You have two option, you play along, be my experment, and you will be aloud a limited freedom under my watch.

"And the other option?"

You join the ocean.

everything spoke at once, like a chorus of sounds, many of them not even human, but Simon understood them none the less. 

"And as the ocean, I'll be functionally dead, I won't be able to recall memories, create memories, I'll have no control over who I am or what I do?" Simon asked. 

All of that will be mine and mine alone, Simon. It will be as if you fell into a dreamless sleep and never awoke. You will be nothing more than a vessel, your memories will be mine, and you, Simon, will no longer exist as anything more than a story the COI tells miss behaving children.

Simon knew that objectively, he should take the first option. he wasn't sure it was more than prolonging the inevitable, but at some level, it was life. Which was all he wanted. "I'll be your experment."he submitted.

While nothing changed about the space, Simon could tell the fish was no longer there. He was alone in the anti void.

He began to wonder what fresh hell he had just agreed to. 

Chapter Text

How are you fairing today?

Simon was quite. only looking at the unappetizing substance It had left for him to consume. And that was unappetizing by Simon's standards, who had lived almost entirely off of discolored mashed paste and vitamin supplement as of late.  

Are you still refusing to eat?

Simon wasn't exactly sure what exactly It was trying to do. Simon didn't need to eat. All of it seemed to be a foggy shadow of what a human needed to get by. 

Simon

"I want to go back home!" Simon snapped, "I'm not a single celled organism you can watch under a microscope! I'm a human fucking Being-" He was cut off and his breathing became labored. The space began to fade and the tendrils wrapped around him reminding him who exactly was in control

You come into my ocean, you harm my vessel, and you make demands of me. 

"You can't force me to preform for you." Simon hissed with what little breath he had.

You will play nice.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" Simon managed a smirk, "How will this little experiment of yours run if the subject is under threat of death?"

Wouldn't that be interesting to find out. Remember you're a case study, not the control.

"I'm the last one." Simon warned, "If you kill me, another convict won't be down for at least another three years. You can take that time to study me and maybe find a way to get rid of the explorations for good, or you can kill me, and wait three years for the chance at a shot of taking another one of us alive."

That was a lie. Simon didn't actually know who all the offer had been made to, or how frequently the expeditions were run. But nothing in It's memories countered what Simon was saying, so even though Simon knew It didn't believe him, It seemed to be willing to talk. 

You know what happens if you refuse to cooperate, Simon.

"I know," 

Then why do you?

"Because I want to go back up there!" Simon reminded him. "I want to go home, I want to be with my family, my people."

You understand that Eden is no longer an option for you. 

"I know-"

There is nothing to return to Simon-

"I know-"

You have no home, and if you did, it was another prison, Simon. It was obsessed with the extinction of the human race, they were all obsessed with the extinction of the human race-

"I KNOW!" Simon shouted, "But it was something, it was familiar. Do you think I don't know that we came from the dust and the dust is where we will return! It was drilled into our heads sense we were old enough to have coherent thoughts! The stars are ghosts and Eden is nothing more than a ghost of what the human race once was! Do you think I want to go back because it was better than-" he gestured to every thing around him, "This!? I want to go back because survival in a hell hole is marginally better than living in a blank liminal void!"

I can make the environment more stimulating, if that is what you desire. 

Oh yeah, a potted plant would really tie the void together!" Simon rolled his eyes.

Perhaps a compound of some sort? A place for your brain to recognize as home.

That actually didn't sound too bad. "What were you thinking?"

The tendrils moved to Simon's legs and shot from the souls of his feet, exploding through the void around him.

They faded into the view of a room, an apartment of sorts. Warm light and edges spread through the place and expanded into a world around him.

He was no longer in the void, or perhaps he was? But it seemed much closer to something more domestic. However, it was softer than anything they had when he was younger. It felt like it continued to shape around him, taking his own preferences into account. It was much larger than anything he had ever had in Eden. The kitchen and the dining room were two separate rooms. There was a room just for lounging and sitting, and his shower room was privet, and his bedroom was dark and cozy. So much of it was different than it ever had been in Eden. "What is all of this?" He asked. 

Much is coded in you DNA a a human, what has kept you alive for years. Soft, warm, safe places, big spaces to wander around, social areas, privet ares. And plenty of windows for starlight.

"starlight?" Simon asked. "I don't need starlight!"

You need at least 15 minutes a day. You're practically deficient with out it. 

Simon looked out side. He realized it looked nothing like the outside he remembered as a little boy. Instead of a black sky with ghost stars, it was a vivid blue sky and one large star in the sky that made his eyes water to look at. "Why is the sky blue?" Simon asked.

When he was little, there used to be rumors of a blue sky. But they were children's stories.

You would have needed it to be. According to your DNA.

"There is no way blue sky is encoded into my DNA." Simon huffed

Your blood is the same as mine, Simon. Iron blood. For to to be red, you would need to have mass amounts of oxygen in your system. The scattering of white light from the sun would appear blue because of the oxygen that your body adapted to breath in.

"So this is where you'll be observing me?" Simon asked. 

There is one more place. 

"Where?"

On the other side of that door. You need fresh air and a place to wonder.

Simone looked to the door in the kitchen and followed it. It lead to the outside, the sky was still blue, a bright near radiant blue. There was a large grassy field, and in the canter was...

"A ginkgo tree?" Simon asked. 

The world was made in your image, Simon, does it mean anything to you?

Simon looked at the ginkgo tree, playing with the glass pendant still tied to his arm, "No." He said. "It's just a tree."

Chapter Text

Simon was very bad at all of this. He could tell It was frustrated with him for not really doing anything. But for the first time ever, someone wanted him to live. And Simon wasn't exactly sure what to do with that.

You still are not eating.

"I'm eating just fine-"

You are binging every few days, then hoarding food in your room. Where you lock yourself in and don't move. That is survival behavior, not meant to sustain you in the long term.

"You want to study human behavior, this is human-" the bedroom and bathroom were gone. He was left in the open part of the house. The part where we was exposed "where. Did you put. My room."

you need to manage a new coping mechanism. There is a meal in the kitchen ready to eat. You will take it to the dining room. Eat it. And when you have finished, You can return to your room.

"Fuck you!"

I am not going to let you wither away Simon. You can be a child and stamp your feet, or you can take care of yourself and eat.

Simon glared at nothing and went to the kitchen. There was was a plate of something that smelled good. Really good. "How... how did you make this?" They were roasted vegetables and rice. A standard meal back in Eden. His mouth watered.

Plants and crops were the very little food Eden had to survive off of. There had been husbandry before Simon was born. But the program was cut off when his parents were still children. And with cannibalism being a line Eden would (technically) never cross. Meat was never really a source of food Eden had. They often looked down on the COI for eating meat from the animals found on alien planets. Eden saw that as them determining for themselves their place in the natural order. Something that they were told to believe was an agent of chaos.

When held prisoner, what food Simon was given was often made with meat. When he first said he didn't eat meat, the CIO guard sneered at him "the Butcher too good to eat meat?" When Simon tried to explain it wasn't meat that Eden had a problem with, and really he wasn't even sure his body would react well sense he had never eaten meat before, the guard kicked the chain link them separated.

So Simon, not wanting to be too difficult, ate the meat that tasted like mud, then vomited that night because his body did not know what else to do with it.

He looked at the food on the counter. This had to be a trap. This was It playing with Simon. Even the COI hadn't been willing to feed him properly, but It was?

Simon?

"Where did you find that."

In your memories, Simon.

Simon shook his head. "I'm not eating that!" He said firmly. He would starve in the dining room if he had to. Under no circumstances would he be eating something that was so clearly a trap.

Take all the time you need, Simon.

It's presences was gone. Simon looked at the meal. The food smelled really good. he wanted to take it and run back to his room where he knew it was safe, but there was no room to return to.

Simon sat in the doorway and watched the plate of food. He could smell the rosemary from there. Was he no better than the animals the COI hunted. There were two entrances to the dining room. The door to the kitchen, and the walkway from the lounging area. There was a window opposite to both doors, but neither one went further down Than Simon's waist. If he stayed below the window line, he would never have his back to an entrance. A plan to get the food was formulating.

He scooted in a sitting position to the window across from from the open walk way. Then he got on his back scooted to the table, and grabbed the plat of food before backing away to the corner between the two windows and ate. He wolfed down the meal, forgoing utensils and eating with his hands. How long had it been sense he had eaten that well? The COI didn't have a proper herb garden like Eden did, so their food was salty and bland. Dry goods reheated in water to make a mushy paste that didn't taste much better than the sserving plates it came on. But the crisp sound over fresh produce, the taste of white pepper, and the mouthfuls hot rice almost made Simon cry tears of joy to be eating real food again.

"Oh my god," Simon sighed after the plate was empty. 

 That was almost entertaining to watch.

Simon jumped 10 feet in the air.

You know you are safe here. This world is completely made up. There's not going to be any predators or other humans. Just you and I. And even though you saying you were the last mission for a while was a bold face lie, I don't want to hurt you.

Simon's entire life had been one long chain of survival. Simon was not used to a moment of peace. And no matter what It said, Simon wouldn't trust It as far as he could through one of It's fishy vessels. "I'm going outside." Simon announced. He picked up the plate and to almost prove to It (and himself) he wasn't scared, he stood up and walked into the kitchen, put the plate in the sink, and went out through the back door. Following the path to the Ginkgo tree, Simon sat underneath it. He listening to it's leaves shutter with the non existent breeze. He took in the fresh air, the blue sky, the soothing sounds, and the starlight. The surprisingly nice starlight that humans were apparently lacking in. 

You once mentioned memories being a living thing.

"Yeah... in Eden we didn't have memorials totems to remember anyone by." Simon explained, everything eventually became dust again. What once was life now giving life. "So we only had the memories of a person to go off of. As long as a person's memories were alive, so were they."

So... what does that make you? Is there anyone to remember Simon of Eden.

"the less I think about it. The better." Simon admitted, grasping the pendent of his brother in Eden who died at the bottom of the ocean. Completely and utterly alone with no one to remember him. "I'm not currently dead, that's what's important right now."