Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mike absentmindedly stirred at his eggs, they were sunny side up. Except he had already broken one of the yolks.

He looked up and checked the time. 1:47 PM. 

He had overslept, which meant he was going to miss lab again.

His head was throbbing. The afternoon light shone through the stained glass window nearby, painting flecks of amber and gold across his skin. 

The sounds of the Velvet Underground and Nico quietly filled his apartment. A few feet away, the record whirred quietly on Mike’s player. 

He couldn’t keep doing this. He was drinking every single night now. Hiding, alone in his room with a twelve-pack. His roommates would start to notice his habits soon enough, and then they’d feel pressured into acting like they actually gave a shit about him. 

They would ask him questions, questions about how he was doing, how he was feeling. 

He would rather jump naked into Lake Erie than ever talk to anyone about his feelings.

Half-awake, he groaned and tilted his head back, slowly reaching his arms up to the ceiling in a long stretch. His spine popped and cracked as he rolled his neck around. 

Missing class today meant he only had two more missed periods before he would automatically fail. Because his professor was a dick.

Fuck chemistry.

He reached up to brush away greasy, unwieldy strands of hair that clung to his forehead and then tried tucking them behind his ears. It didn’t work.

He needed a haircut.

Another thing that he would get to, soon enough. 

You know, eventually. 

Later. 

Fuck everything.

He slowly shifted his weight back and forth between the balls of his feet. He gingerly ran his tongue over his teeth and found that they were ragged, covered in fuzz. Something akin to a wool sweater. He winced.

Mike wasn’t even hungry right now, but he was extremely nauseas. His stomach was empty, and eggs might help. They usually did.

He paused his thoughts for a moment and tried to focus on the song.

Please put down your hands…cause I see you…

Somehow, there were tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He cursed to himself and took a deep breath. He absentmindedly continued to rock back and forth between each foot.

The first time he had listened to this song, it had been with Will on his Walkman. Jonathan had given Will a mixtape with Lou Reed, Nico, Neil Young, Joan Baez. There had been countless times that he and Will had huddled together in Mike’s bed, each cradling one side of the headphones so they could both listen. They would stay under the blankets with their flashlights and comics for hours. Sometimes until the batteries died. 

Sometimes talking the other’s ear off, and sometimes, not saying anything at all. 

It was the quiet moments that he had enjoyed the most. The moments when the music would stretch between them, when they would listen to the lyrics together intently so they could discuss what they thought it all meant later. 

A twinge of grief washed over his body. He would never be able to truly acknowledge the sinking feeling growing inside of him.

The coffee pot whirred as a familiar aroma lofted around the room. He took in a deep breath and tried to steel himself.

It was always the same shit, every single day. Wake up. Go to class. Work on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Band practice on Fridays. 

Time was ticking by, more and more quickly as each second passed. It felt like a noose around his neck.

Is this really all adulthood is? Never doing anything you actually wanna do?

Mike grit his teeth and and tried hard to swallow the despondent feeling he always got when he started to think about the meaning of it all.  

Some life.

Alone.

Away from anyone I give a fuck about.

The song continued to play quietly.

I’ll be your mirror…

His Saturday afternoon catch-up calls with Will had become sparse, now a rarity. Mike told himself he was just too busy, he had too much going on. And other weeks, it was Will who was tied up with something. 

“Shit.”

His eyes shot open as he quickly threw down the spatula he had been holding. He stepped over to the fridge and rapidly skimmed the tattered calendar hanging there. His foot tapped impatiently on the floor as he rummaged through the pages. 

“Four months…” He murmured to himself. “Christ…really? Four months?”

How?

One missed call here and there had become more and more common. He told himself that Will was probably busy too, because he didn’t really call all that much either. But Mike knew the growing distance between them was his fault.

He started pacing back and forth, following the worn path that had been slowly emerging on the linoleum beneath his feet. 

Deep down, Mike knew how four months had passed so quickly, why he had kept avoiding conversations. 

It was the fact that every time Will would talk about his boyfriend, Mike felt like he wanted to punch someone in the face. It was the lingering questions that plagued Mike’s thoughts whenever he could tell that Will was holding back details about his life.

There were sparks that hung suspended in the air between them whenever there was a lull in the conversation that he just couldn’t stand anymore.

It was too painful. 

I’ll be your mirror…

The unspoken words at the back of his throat, festering there like an embarrassing secret. One that he couldn't admit even to himself.

He prayed for the day that it would finally pass, where he would wake up one day and finally be someone else. He hoped time would lead to him feeling more normal about life. About Will. 

The eggs began to smoke. 

Mike jumped up and ran over to the pan. He grabbed it by the handle and immediately cursed at the heat, dropping it back onto the stove. He snatched a yellow kitchen towel and used it to grab the handle again, and then promptly shucked the entire thing into the sink. He turned on the tap to cold and let it run over his skin for a moment.

“Will…..” He muttered absentmindedly. “Have to make sure he’s okay…”

He was holding his breath now. 

Mike sprinted out of the kitchen and made his way to the front of his apartment. He grabbed the yellow receiver of the phone that was hanging on the wall and quickly dialed Will’s number from memory. 

His foot was tapping away again. The song ended and the next one began to play. 

Mike listened as the line rang. And rang. And rang and rang. His fingernails dug into the enamel handle. Finally, the machine picked up. It was the same message as before, with Jonathan’s monotone voice filling his ear.

“Hey, uh, you’ve reached Will and Jonathan and we’re probably busy right now, but we’ll call back later.”

It beeped. Mike finally exhaled and then tried to sound normal.

“Oh, uh, hi. This is Mike. You know…just…trying to reach Will.” He was nearly out of breath. “Please have him give me a call back. Whenever he has the time. Thanks.”

He begrudgingly placed the receiver back on the hook and hung his head low, feeling dejected. It was Tuesday, which meant Will was probably busy. Tuesdays he worked, a few blocks away from his apartment at the student health center. 

A burning feeling emerged from deep inside of his body. An urgency, crawling under his skin.

He pushed himself off the wall begrudgingly and started the walk back towards the kitchen.

Mike startled as the phone next to him rang out. He turned around and picked it up before it had finished ringing for the first time. 

“Hello?” 

“Yeah, Mike. It’s Will. I’m sorry I missed your call. I was just about to—"

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Will. Please forgive me.” Mike interrupted him before he could continue. He was practically pleading.

“I’m sorry for not calling sooner. I’m a terrible friend. The worst. I need to get my shit together, okay? Be a better friend to you, be there for you more. I’ve just been so distracted. I—”

“Mike, it’s okay. Please.” Will interjected. But Mike continued rambling aimlessly.

“No. Will, it’s not okay. It’s horrible. I’m horrible. I was making breakfast just now and thinking—”

“Breakfast? Mike. It’s 2PM.” Will was giving him a hard time.

Mike didn’t notice.

“… I was thinking about how life is happening at us, so fast, all the time. Everything is rocketing by, and before I knew it, it had been months since we last spoke and, god I am so glad you’re okay because I would never be able to forgive—”

“Mike.” Will interjected again, this time sounding stern. “Mike. You’re rambling again. Please.” 

Mike's jaw snapped shut.

“Please, just let me talk, okay?” Will sighed and then spoke more quietly. “I’m actually really glad that you called.”

Mike's cheeks were burning. He took a deep breath and held it in.

“I’ve been dealing with something and uh…I need to talk to you about it.”

There was a beat of silence and then Mike finally spoke.

“I’m sorry, Will.” He said meekly. “Please, go on.”

Will continued.

“It’s El, Mike. I think…” He stammered, and then it sounded as if he was choosing his words very carefully. “Actually. I don’t think we should talk about it on here. Just in case.” 

Mike’s eyes widened and he scoffed.

“Wait, what? What about El? What are you—” Will cut him off. 

“Just, please come.” He blurted out, sounding a bit desperate.

Mike felt a jolt of electricity surge through his entire body. He tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry.

“To New York. Please, just…come to our place. This weekend…” His voice trailed off.

"...You want me to come to New York?" Mike finally replied.

"Is that okay? It should be in person." Mike could feel Will's resolve crumbling. "Please. It’s important.”

Two hundred and eighty-seven days. That’s how long it had been since the last time Mike had seen Will in person. He did the math. What else was there to do on a 20-hour train ride? 

He had left on Thursday, which put him arriving in town on Friday evening.

Somehow, Mike had never been to visit Will in New York before. They usually only met up back in Hawkins, along with the rest of their friends. He hadn’t found the time to take a trip to visit Will, just because.

He didn’t tend to do things “just because.” 

Jonathan would be picking him up at Grand Central in about 10 minutes and then they would take the subway back to their neighborhood. Mike wondered if Will would be there to greet him, too. He was too embarrassed to outright ask before he left; he didn’t want to seem too eager. Had to play it cool. Had to remind himself that he would be seeing Will, face to face soon, after almost a year of just phone calls. And it was much, much harder to disguise himself when Will was standing a few feet away from him. There would be nowhere to hide.

It terrified him.

Mike rubbed his clammy palms down the front of his pant legs.

A number of questions had hung over his head, clouding his thoughts the entire way there. In any other circumstance, he would have welcomed the solitude and scenery, being able to take in new parts of the country. The train ride was breathtaking. Not that Mike got to see much of it.

There was too much to figure out. He had been too distracted to notice much, far too busy coming up with a million different nausea-inducing scenarios. He couldn’t begin to imagine what new developments Will could possibly have come across. Maybe he had discovered more information about her past? Some long-lost relatives? Or Dr. Kay had resurfaced.

Were they in danger?

It didn't matter anyway. There was nothing Will could say that would bring El back. Nothing that could erase the guilt he carried.

Mike missed her deeply and mourned for the future she never got to experience. Now that he was older, he could admit to himself how implausible his story had been. It was something he said to try and help everyone cope, himself included. 

He couldn't get the image out of his head, the last time he had seen her. Her decision resolute but sadness consuming her eyes. Mike remembered the way time had stood still when the debris swept her away.

His grief might consume him if he thought about it for too long.

He knew how much Will missed El, too. He missed his sister.

He wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen on this trip, but he prepared as best as he could. If history had shown him anything, it was that it was best to plan for the unexpected. He had come with a few tools, mainly a bowie knife, a first aid kit, plenty of clean clothes, comics, and all of the money he had to his name.

Not that he wanted to be in a situation where he needed some of those things. Better safe than sorry.

Mike let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. His nerves were starting to get the best of him. He reached up and gently rubbed at his temples.

The train began to slow.

It entered the terminal and continued to roll to a stop. Mike stood and began to collect his things from the bin below his feet. He picked up a heavy black leather duffel bag and gently slung it over his shoulder. The passengers around him began to collect their items as well.

Slowly, everyone filed out of their respective train cars and onto the crowded platforms outside. 

Mike was immediately overwhelmed with just how loud it was in there. All around him were the sounds of hundreds of people, all meandering around each other, trying to get to where they needed to go. Each person blissfully unaware of the lives of the other people around them. 

Mike felt like he was suffocating.

Too many people. Too many smells and sounds and he was overstimulated. 

His eyes found their way to the center of the terminal, to the big multi-sided clock there. It was 8:36 PM. They were supposed to meet at 8:30. He stood there for several more minutes, looking around, until he finally heard it.

“Hey, Mike! Over here!” 

He heard Jonathan’s voice ring out from behind him. He turned around slowly and combed his eyes through the crowd. And then he finally saw them.

Jonathan and Will. 

As they approached, he allowed his eyes to examine his friend closely. 

Mike held his breath.

Will was wearing a worn brown leather jacket, with sleeves that barely stretched to accommodate his toned upper arms. His jaw looked more square, more defined, than the last time Mike had seen him. He looked so much older. 

His broad chest was contained by a yellow sweater that was almost comically small on him. The hem rode up a little bit at the bottom, exposing a tiny sliver of his abdomen. A delicate patch of pale skin. 

And then, Mike suddenly remembered the sweater. That exact sweater. He had told Will once that it was his favorite, that yellow was the perfect color on him. 

Oh.

It sure didn’t look like the same sweater anymore.

He tried not to notice the way Will’s hands looked like they wouldn't fit into his jean pockets. Or the beautiful, long tendrils of chestnut hair that spilled out from under the light blue beanie on top of his head. 

His brain was short-circuiting.

Had he ever seen Will with long hair before? 

It’s as if Will can read his mind because just then, he snatched the hat quickly off of his head. He reached up and ran his fingers through the strands, attempting to tame the wild locks that were now exposed. It nearly reached his shoulders.

Mike took a huge breath.

New York looked good on Will.

So, so good.

Mike felt ashamed at himself for noticing. 

He puffed up his chest and stuck his own hands in his pockets.

It was just hair. He was just appreciating a friend’s new hairstyle. Which is a totally normal thing to do, you know.

He tore his gaze from Will and forced himself to look at Jonathan instead as they walked up. 

“Hey, what’s up?” He tried to keep his expression unreadable, tried to sound aloof. Jonathan smiled at him.

Will doesn’t allow Mike a single moment to breathe, though. He lunged forward and wrapped both of his arms around Mike’s waist, pulling him tightly against his body. Mike could feel his body heat, even through all their layers of bulky winter clothes.

As beefy as Will’s physique had become, Mike was still taller. 

He grinned to himself at that thought and returned the hug immediately. He wrapped his arms around Will’s shoulders and buried his face in his hair. As they swayed together, Mike felt Will’s nose accidentally graze the side of his neck.

He could hear his own heartbeart thrumming in his ears. Pounding, nearly deafening, like a stampede. An avalanche.

He had to snap out of it.

“I’m so glad you made it.” Will muttered. Mike felt his breath ghost his ear.

As Mike held him, he lost himself for a moment and tried to pinpoint what kind of shampoo Will must use.

Will is the first one to pull away.

Mike tried to steady his expression, tried to collect himself. He was terrified of what Will might see in his eyes, if he let him look too hard.

“Let’s go.” Jonathan spoke up. They both glanced at him in unison, as if they had forgotten he was there. “The train we need is over there.”

The subway ride over to their apartment was uneventful, except for the Mike's inability to control his thoughts.

Will caught him squirming in his seat more than once.

“You okay?” He asked quietly. There was tenderness in his eyes, a palpable vulnerability that Mike hadn't seen from Will in a while. Like maybe he was finally starting to let his guard down. 

It makes him want to cry.

He replied calmly instead. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m okay." He stammered for a moment. "More than okay, actually. Great, even." 

He feels his right eyelid twitch. Will and Jonathan exchange a look.

“Not buying it.” Jonathan chimed in. 

“No really, I’m great. Just anxious, you know…to talk about stuff.” Mike looked directly at Will. “Maybe we should wait and talk when we get to your place?”

When we can be alone.

Will nods and then they let the comfortable silence settle in around them. It feels warm and familiar and suddenly Mike realized just how badly he missed this. Just being together.

A few minutes later, Will carefully pulls his Walkman out of his pocket and begins to listen to something. The volume is low, but Mike could hear the music faintly playing.

I’ll be your mirror…..reflect what you are…

Will doesn’t offer Mike the other half of his headphones to listen along.

Chapter Text

“Put your stuff wherever.” Will quickly set his Walkman down on top of the dresser. “Be right back.” 

He strode back out into the hallway and then Mike was alone.

He fidgeted with the buttons at the ends of his sleeves and panned his eyes around.

A full-size mattress sat in the center of the room, with a dark blue tartan comforter sprawled across the top. A hanging lamp was strung up in the corner, bathing everything in a faint warm light.

Mike paused, eyes closed. His feet were aching and he was starving. 

He couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Instead, he took it all in. It didn’t matter that it was nearly midnight. Everything was still living and breathing and vibrating down there.

Jonathan and Will’s place was pretty nice, if a bit tiny. It was near a bakery on the fifth floor of a building with no elevator.

Mike didn’t mind the stairs, though.

From the second he had arrived, New York had felt like nothing like back home. The walk from the subway had been long but bearable. Everything along the way back to Will’s place had been so breathtakingly full of life, unpredictable and ravenous, like it might swallow them at any moment. 

Mike felt more energized than he had in months. More focused.

He had seen people walk by with purpose, racing towards something, while others seemed like they didn’t have anywhere to be at all. 

He had listened intently as Will pointed out things along the way, like his favorite noodle shop or record store. Or a cafe, “just over there,” where you could get “the best damn latte in the West Village.”

Mike thinks he would be perfectly content to listen to Will talk about pretty much anything, though.

He and Will had immediately fallen back into their same comfortable rhythm. One where it didn’t phase Mike when Will silently took his bag from him and insisted on carrying it the whole way back.  One where it was completely normal for Mike to place a nurturing hand against the small of Will’s back, to guide him on and off the train.

It wasn't new. 

The two had always been affectionate with each other. They had an understanding, a comfort that they had always offered each other. Never weird. Always patient and kind and enduring and growing stronger as the years went by.

As they became more comfortable with each other, with themselves.

It was one of Mike’s favorite things. He didn’t feel compelled to be this way with anyone else — only Will.

Mike dropped his bag in the corner and began to walk around the room.

He spotted a bookshelf that had various art supplies stacked on all of the shelves. Beside it, tons of photos were tacked up on a cork board haphazardly— photos of Lucas, Max, El, Joyce, Jonathan.

There were also a few photos from graduation. And several from the night of that one campaign where Mike had introduced the ancient time dragon.

It had really pissed Lucas off.

When Dustin rolled to send everyone back to the beginning, Lucas nearly threw a fit.

“Reeeally?” He grit out incredulously. “Come on, really? All of that…three whole days…for nothing?”

Max ran over and wrapped her arms loosely around Lucas’ neck while he feigned annoyance. Dustin threw a handful of caramel popcorn at them.

“What a colossal waste of time.” Lucas crossed his arms against his chest and puffed out his lower lip. “I’m gonna use fireball on myself so it’ll finally be over.”

“God. Stop pouting.” Max huffed back, as she smiled down at him. “The journey is the whole point, idiot.” 

Then, Will spoke up.

“Yeah this,” He motioned between all of them, “This is the whole point!”

Mike had realized pretty quickly that there were way more photos of himself hanging up on that board than of anyone else. 

But it made sense.

They had been friends for almost their entire lives, nearly 20 years at this point. There was bound to be a lot.

That’s what he told himself.

Among the various photos, there were also several pictures of Will with people that Mike didn’t recognize. 

Mike also wondered why there weren’t any photos of Will’s loser boyfriend anywhere.

He spotted a photo of Joyce and Hopper on the nightstand, just married and holding up a half-empty bottle of wine. Mike walked over to it and picked it up, studying it carefully in his hands. 

What a night that had been.

Will never drank usually, but that night he had an entire bottle of champagne and Mike ended up having to take care of him all night. He still remembered tucking Will into the guest room at his parent's house. He slept next to him the whole night, on a cot on the floor.

He gently placed the frame back down onto the table.

Next to it was a framed polaroid, taken around that same time, when everyone was back in town for the wedding. They had all “broken into” the radio station and hung out together on the roof. Jonathan had been taking snapshots and passing them out all night, but Mike didn’t recall this particular one. 

The photo showed Will and Mike, standing side by side, arms interlocked together. A perfect peachy sunset was spread out dramatically behind them, as if it were posing too. Mike was looking at the camera with a goofy smile on his face, probably laughing at something Will had said.

Will, on the other hand, wasn’t looking at the camera at all. 

Just Mike.

Written across the bottom of the polaroid in black permanent marker were the words:

“Just Like Heaven.”

The air suddenly felt thick. 

Mike stood there, gaze fixated on the phrase, trying to figure out exactly whose handwriting it was until he heard a loud “If you touch me again, I’ll fucking kill you” filter up from the street below.

He walked away from the nightstand in a daze and tried to think about something, literally anything else.

Near Will’s desk in the corner, a hefty collection of drawings hung on the wall, all tacked and layered on top of one another. 

He needed a distraction. He could start there. 

Mike walked over and began to study each piece carefully. They varied in level of detail and artistic medium; some were elaborate studies in pencil, acrylic, or watercolor. Others looked as if they were thrown together with only smudgy charcoal or oil pastel. The subject matter mainly consisted of random objects, things like bicycles, a dragon, a shovel, two candles, and a sword. A walkie talkie. A purple wizard’s hat.

A coat of arms.

He began to peel at the layers of paper, trying to examine the artwork buried underneath. He stumbled across something next that ripped the breath from his lungs. 

Concealed beneath several layers of paper, tucked safely away and out of sight, was an extravagant colored pencil drawing of himself. It was quite large and was illustrated with detail that surpassed any of the others. Will had depicted Mike as a paladin, his champion. 

The heart of the party. 

There were rays of pale pink sunlight that radiated from behind him and off of his armor. A pale red heart was painted on the front of his shiny iron cuirass. Mike’s curls were untamed, sprouting out of his scalp like overgrown weeds. There were stems of baby’s breath, peppered in between the wild dark strands of his hair.

It was a younger version of Mike, from before they had graduated. Before adulthood had started to take its toll. Will had captured every single one of Mike’s feature with meticulous detail. The slight peach fuzz above his upper lip. The pale freckles that dotted his chin. 

Sprawled at the bottom, in elaborate cursive lettering, was his name.

“Michael.”

Mike kept staring at it, trying to savor every little detail.

Mike felt something begin to shift inside of him. It was something deep down in his subconscious that stroked his ego in an almost primitive way. His chest swelled. He stood up straighter and put his shoulders back.

He hated being called Michael. And he had always kind of hated his freckles. 

Maybe not anymore. 

Mike was seeing himself through Will’s eyes. But it began to feel like he had seen something he shouldn’t have. Something that was meant for Will only.

Mike felt his chest tighten.

He couldn’t think about it much longer because just then, he heard Will’s footsteps approaching again.

“Shit.” Mike cursed under his breath.

He dashed away from the corner and looked around in a panic. He plopped himself down at the end of Will’s bed and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

Will then entered and closed the door behind him. Mike tried to control his breathing.

“Here, I brought food.” Will passed him a heavy plate that held six slices of pineapple, jalapeño, and pepperoni pizza. 

Mike’s favorite.

“Are you insane? I can’t eat this much.”

Will rolled his eyes and a tiny smirk spread across his lips.

“We’re sharing. One plate, less dishes.” He took a seat next to Mike on the end of the bed. “I hate doing the dishes.”

“Oh…yeah. Uh, me too.” 

He quietly chided himself for sounding like an imbecile.

Will just chuckled. 

“Yeah. I know. I remember.”

Mike swallowed hard. He could still hear his pulse in his ears.

“I brought you a coke.” Will continued. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want a PBR or something else instead…I think Jonathan has some in the fridge.”

And then, Mike realized that for the first night in forever, he didn’t feel like drinking alcohol.

He didn’t want anything to dull this night, to dull the way being here was making him feel again. He wanted to be able to remember every detail. Every second he got to spend with Will.

Maybe Mike could eventually work up the nerve to talk to him about the secret, the one hanging just a few feet away. And maybe the other painting too. The one that was hanging in his bedroom, back in Chicago.

He smiled to himself.  Meanwhile, Will looked at him expectantly.

“Well?” He asked again.

Mike just kept grinning.

And then, it felt like someone had poured a vat of warm honey all over his head when Will smiled back at him. He took the time to study the crinkles in the corners of Will’s eyes, tried as hard as he could to memorize them. He wanted to remember how Will looked right now. A memory he could revisit often.

If Mike had any artistic talent of his own, he would paint him like this. 

Eyes wide and teeming with wonder. The growing amusement in his expression. The slight flush that was emerging on his cheekbones and on the tip of his nose. Those wild waves that wouldn’t stay tucked behind his ears.

“What?” Will said shyly, interrupting Mike’s thoughts.

“Oh, uh nothing. Coke’s fine, thanks.” He replied softly as he took the can from Will. 

He had already opened it for him. Mike calmly lifted it to his lips and took a few long sips. Will grabbed a slice of pizza off of the plate between them and began to nibble on it slowly. 

Mike did the same.

They both startled a moment later when they heard a knock on the other side of the door. It was Jonathan. 

“Hey, I’m heading over to Nance’s.” He spoke loudly through the wood. “Mike, you know she’s gonna want to see you while you’re in town, right?”

As Jonathan spoke, Will silently gestured to the can of soda in Mike’s hand. He passed it to him and watched as he placed his lips on the edge and took a small sip. 

Mike cleared his throat before he spoke.

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” 

“Does she even know you’re here?”

Mike’s eye widen. Oops.

“Uh…” He stammered. “Not yet.”

He heard Jonathan chuckle softly.

“I’ll get her up to speed then. I guess I’ll bring her back over here with me in the morning…we can all have breakfast together?”

Mike turned to look at Will, waiting for confirmation. He nodded at him. 

“Yeah, thanks. Sounds good.” Mike replied.

“Alright, see you guys tomorrow.”

He listened to the footsteps as they slowly disappeared back down the hall. He and Will resumed eating in comfortable silence, passing the can of soda between them every once in a while. 

When they accidentally reached for the same slice of pizza, Mike picked it up and immediately offered it to him.

“Here, you take it.”

Will smiled at him again as he took the slice. A second later, he spoke.

“So, do…do you want to sleep with me tonight?” He stammered out.

Mike choked on his pizza. 

“Like, in here. I just meant—” Will couldn’t find the words.

Mike should save him, say something to help him, but he’s secretly enjoying it way too much.

“I mean, there’s always the couch but honestly…it’s so uncomfortable, you know? And it stays warmer in here, anyway.” 

Mike found himself holding in his breath.

Realistically, there was no reason for him to say no. It’s not like they hadn’t slept in the same bed before. 

They had spent countless nights together over the years at sleepovers. It usually involved D&D, graphic novels, and Nacho Cheese Bugles. But he was sure that this probably wouldn’t be that different. 

At least the bed was bigger than the twin beds they had shared before.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good to me.” Mike finally responded as he continued to chew his food.

“Cool.” Will replied quietly. 

“Cool.” He repeated back.

Suddenly, Mike remembered something.

“Hey, maybe we should talk about El soon?” He muttered. 

Will almost looked disappointed at Mike. Like he had ruined something.

“Yeah, of course. You’re right,” Will began quietly, “But…I…I don’t even know where to start.” 

Before he could change his mind, Mike reached out and covered Will’s hand with his own. He furrowed his brow and looked directly into Will’s eyes.

“Well, why don’t you start at the beginning?” Mike’s tone was soft and gentle, just like he always was with Will. 

He grasped at his hand softly, trying to encourage him to continue. After a moment, Will finally spoke.

“The first time it happened was few months ago.” Will sat up straighter before continuing. 

“I was home alone. Jonathan and Nancy were spending the weekend at Smith, with Robin and her girlfriend.”

Mike nodded and listened as Will continued.

“Well, that night, I couldn’t sleep at all.” He paused momentarily but continued after Mike gave his hand another squeeze.

“I kept hearing things…and I know how bad that sounds…” His voice trailed off.

“I’m not crazy.” He added quickly. “Maybe it wasn’t anything at all. My brain playing tricks on me?” 

It’s Will’s turn to be the rambler now.

“And Anton wasn’t here, he blew me off because he had exams the next day and wanted to study alone and—”

“If he was a good boyfriend, he would have been here.” Mike suddenly interrupted him. 

Will’s jaw snapped shut. He looked offended.

“You hate being alone.” Mike groaned. “He should have fucking stayed here with you and made sure you didn’t have to be alone.” 

The bitterness in Mike’s tone surprised himself. 

Will tore his hand away from Mike’s and got up and walked over to the window. He wouldn’t make eye contact and instead stared down at the street below. 

“Yeah, well…he’s not my boyfriend anymore, so it doesn’t matter, does it?” Will finally spat back. 

The tone of his voice caused Mike’s breath to hitch in his throat. Will never talked to him this way. It stings.

Mike finally replied a few seconds later.

“…Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Mike said quietly.

“You do now.” 

He paused for a moment.

What room did he even have to talk? He'd barely been with anyone since El, definitely not anyone meaningful. Mike hadn’t allowed himself to feel any real emotions for another person since then. He wasn’t ready yet.

Maybe he never would be.

He wondered why Will hadn’t told him sooner, that he had broken up with his ex. Why was he hiding things from him lately?

“Hey.” Mike began, but Will still wouldn’t meet his eyes.  

Please don’t push me away. 

“Look at me.” Mike said quietly. “Please...”

He was begging. 

Will shifted his eyes tentatively over to Mike. They looked sad.

“I’m sorry, for being such an asshole.” He began slowly. Will’s eyes were piercing into his. “I’m sorry…that it didn’t work out. With Anton.”

Will gently nodded his head. 

A past version of Mike would have stormed off, wouldn’t have been able to apologize so easily. Would have made it about himself.

But he was trying to be better now. To grow up. To be the kind of…friend…that Will deserved.

Mike thinks once again of the portrait. The secret.

“Will…” He began, but then stopped himself.

Instead, he pat the bed beside him with his hand, gesturing for Will to join him again. 

Will slowly walked over and sat back down, this time a little further away. The silence was thick and hung around them like a wet cloak. Mike forced himself to say something, to try and break the tension.

“He was a moron, anyway.” He said definitively. “And he wasn’t good enough for you.” 

Will’s eyes immediately widened. 

“In what way?” He sounded flabbergasted.

“Well, for one…his laugh was really fucking annoying.” Mike was smirking now. “Like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas.”

“Oh my god.” Will scoffed. “Stop.”

“He always smelled awful. Like really bad. And wouldn’t wear deodorant.” 

“Mike!” 

“Or shower.”

Will reached out just then and smacked him hard against the shoulder.

Mike beamed back at him.

“He was European!” Will exclaimed.

“That’s no excuse.” Mike said flatly, which made Will burst into a fit of laughter.

Mike watched him double over and thought to himself that he’d live inside of this moment forever if he could.

He impulsively reached down and scooped Will’s hand up again. He didn’t protest.

Mike pressed his thumb idly against the back of Will’s hand in slow, comforting circles. His fingertips danced across his rough knuckles, skimming across each one carefully.

Will looked down to the place where their skin was mingling and watched it intently.

“It was for the best.” Will was almost whispering. “It wasn’t serious anyway. Just having fun.”

The two had been seeing each other for over a year. That sounded pretty serious to Mike.

He gave Will’s hand one last reassuring squeeze and then released it. They looked at one another for a moment, both equally lost in thought.

He found himself leaning closer to Will absentmindedly, focusing on the tiny mole above his lip. He looked at the tiny cracks on Will’s lips and thought that maybe he should get him some lip balm tomorrow, at the Walgreens he had seen a few blocks over. 

He looked back up to Will’s eyes and found them sparkling. He was now close enough to feel his breath on his skin.

I wish I could know what you're thinking.

Will's eyes were boring into Mike’s, but neither one of them said anything.

Will’s eyes darted down to Mike’s lips. He could feel himself leaning in, inching closer and closer to something unknown.

It was all too much.

“Bathroom?” Mike asked suddenly, jumping up to his feet.

“Oh, uh, first door on the left.” Will sounded hesitant. “I guess…I’ll change for bed while you’re gone…”

His eyes were wide and he looked at Mike like he was about to say something else. But he doesn’t.

Mike nodded at him and offered a curt smile. 

On the inside, though, Mike was freaking out.

He walked over to his duffel bag in the corner. He unzipped it and started gathering a few of its contents into his arms. He steadied himself before he turned back around.

Can he tell?

He tried to avoid eye contact.

How terrified this all makes me?

Mike moved to the bathroom in a hurry and rapidly closed the door behind him. 

He stood and pressed his back against the cool surface, eyes closed and pulse racing. He rested there for a moment and took several deep breaths in and out. 

He glanced over and stared at his own reflection in the mirror. 

Did he look as flustered as Will had?

He ran his hands through his hair and stopped when he reached the back of his neck. He stood there for a moment and started rubbing circles into the tension around the base of his skull. 

Just like heaven.

He started pacing around the tiny room for a minute until he finally settled on the side of the bathtub.

The space was starting to make him feel claustrophobic.

What about the dreams? El? Or the drawing. What the hell was that drawing? Why keep it hidden?

Then, more hoofbeats. His pulse was racing. He was going to give himself a heart attack.

He stood and walked over to the sink. He turned on the cold tap and began to splash it over his face. He let the water roll off, leaking tiny droplets down the front of his shirt. He used the back of his sleeve to hastily dry himself off.

He began to brush his teeth with a steady rhythm and tried talk some sense into himself.

He’s my friend.

More pacing, but this time while brushing. 

That’s all this is. 

Mike quickly slipped into some dark blue athletic shorts and an oversized shirt.

His thoughts jumped abruptly to WSQK. To that day, before El died. The day that Will had told everyone his secret, so that it couldn’t be used against him.

That day had felt like a rejection.

He’d had a lot of time to think it, to think about what Will had said, and the conclusion Mike always came up with was that it was fine. 

It was fine that it was just a silly little crush. That Will didn't actually like him.

It’s not like he even liked Will that way, anyway. Mike wasn’t like that. 

When he finally returned to Will’s room, Mike found him snuggled under the thick layers of bedding. He was writing in a small book that was bound with dark blue pebbled leather.  Mike walked over to the open side of the bed and pulled down the comforter and climbed in. Will glanced over at him.

“Do you want your own blanket?” 

“No, we can share.” Mike responded, maybe too quickly. “It’ll be, uh, warmer. Like in the army, right?”

Will rolled his eyes and glanced back down at the book sprawled across his lap. A small smile ghosted his lips. 

“Totally.” 

Now that he was in bed, it felt a whole lot smaller than it looked. Mike hadn’t accounted for just how much space Will took up now. 

Will gently set the book down on his nightstand.

“I…I think I’m ready to talk about it some more.” He said quietly.

Mike gave him a confused look. 

“The sounds, I was hearing before…”

Mike nodded gently. 

“I figured it was just my brain imagining things, as I fell asleep. Like half-dreams?” 

“Sure.” Mike offered.

“But then, it happened again and this time…it was crystal clear.” He paused for a moment.  

Mike was clinging to his words.

“It was her, Mike. She was…I think she was screaming my name.” 

Will’s eyes were now glossy and wide. Mike scooted closer to him in the bed.

He contemplated Will’s words for a moment and considered the implication. It seemed impossible. 

As much as he had wished and hoped with every fiber of his being that she was alive somewhere, in a place with three waterfalls…he knew how unlikely it was. 

Besides, it had been almost five years since that day at the MAC-Z. If El were actually alive, there was no way in hell she would have waited this long to contact one of them. 

Will was clearly having a hard time with El being gone. He lost a sister that day. And now he was going through a breakup on top of that. Maybe he was stressed from school, not getting enough sleep? He knew how competitive Will’s program was. Maybe it was starting to get the best of him?

Mike decides to keep an open mind.

“You’re sure you weren’t just dreaming?” He finally replied.

Will shook his head with certainty. His loose, messy waves bounced in a way that caught Mike’s attention.

He’s close enough to smell Will’s shampoo.

“Definitely not.” Will said quietly.

“What do you think it could have been?”

“No idea. Part of me is afraid that there’s still…something…out there.” He paused for a moment to adjust the strands of hair that kept falling into his face. 

He definitely wasn't used to having long hair yet. 

“Something that’s trying to lure me by pretending to be El?” Will’s voice trailed off again. 

“What if it’s playing with my mind, Mike. Like before? And I’ve been so cold lately…” 

Before Will can finish his thought, Mike slid the rest of the way over to him. He put an arm around his shoulders and grabbed Will tightly.

“No. We’re not gonna assume the worst…” He said sternly. “We destroyed it, remember? And it’s winter. That’s why you’re cold.”

Will took in a deep breath. Mike rubbed his hand over Will’s shoulder.

"Tomorrow, I'll get you a thicker sweater. Problem solved."

Mike felt Will finally relax against him.

“Besides…I can feel you right now. You don't feel cold…”

He felt Will twitch beside him. Mike continued to speak softly.

“Does Jonathan know?”

Will shook his head. 

“Only you.” 

“Er, did it only happen that one time?” Mike stuttered.

Will shook his head slowly and looked away from Mike, trying to avoid the question.

“No, there were more times.” His voice trailed off. “I…um…sort of lost count?” 

Mike’s eyes doubled in size and he removed his arm from Will's shoulders.

“What the fuck, man?” 

Will quickly averted his gaze to the floor beside him and folded his arms across his chest defensively. He turned his body away from Mike’s slightly. 

Mike saw his jaw tighten.

“I know, okay?” He said defensively.

“You really should have told me about this sooner.” Mike spoke with concern in his voice, but also unable to mask the betrayal he felt. “Or Jonathan, at the very least. We could have helped you. I would dropped everything. I would have come earlier.”

Will said nothing. 

“You mean everything to me, you’re my best friend. If anything ever happened to you, and I wasn’t here to stop it I just—“

“Do you really think that’s helpful right now?” Will’s tone is suddenly clipped in a way that makes Mike’s stomach drop. He still won’t look at him. “To scold me?"

"And, for the record, I’m not a baby, Mike…I can take care of myself.” He added.

Mike didn’t expect the words to sting as much as they do. 

He scooted back toward Will, close enough so their shoulders were brushing against one another again. Will still refused to look at him. 

Mike steadied himself and reached over and nudged at Will’s chin with his thumb and pointer finger, gently forcing him to meet his gaze.

Will sucked in a deep breath and looked up at Mike through his eyelashes. His eyes were pained, bloodshot red and brimming with hot tears. Mike was now finally close enough to actually see Will. And what he saw was fatigue and trouble and uncertainty. It devastated Mike that he had been dealing with everything for so long, all by himself.

He should have called Will sooner, he never should have avoided him. He should have been brave. He failed him.

He pushed those feelings down for now.

“I’m sorry. I know you can take care of yourself.” Mike spoke softly.

Mike’s mom had always told him that in situations like these, you should always apologize first, even if you don't fully understand what you've done wrong, especially when you’ve hurt the one you—.

Actually, never mind. 

Mike released Will’s jaw and lowered his head to rest gently over on Will’s shoulder. They settled there for a few seconds, saying nothing.

Mike finally spoke again.

“Please, Will.” He voice was pained. “Just, tell me more?” 

Mike suddenly stole a glance back over to the corner, to the portrait of himself that lay obscured behind layers of paper.

“Okay…” Will began apprehensively, “I’ll try.” 

Mike nodded at him, encouraging him to continue. 

“The next time it happened, I wasn’t even sleeping. I was jogging laps around the park, listening to music. I heard a voice again, reaching out to me. It was soft, like it was really far away.”

Will shifted his thigh so that his bare skin was now pressed against Mike’s. 

“If you had to guess, how many times would you say it’s happened?” Mike asked a few minutes later.

“At first, maybe once a week? But lately, it’s been happening so much more. Almost every day.”

Mike lifted his head off of Will’s shoulder and looked intently at his worn face. He was struggling.

“It’s pretty late now. What if we went to bed soon?” Mike’s voice was warm and soothing.

Will hummed in agreement.

“I’m really tired.” Mike lied. “We can figure this out in the morning, with a clear head. Okay?”

Will nodded slowly.

Mike scooted back over to his side of the bed and reclined back against the pillows. He pulled the blanket up to his chin. He felt Will settle into the spot beside him.

After a few minutes of silence, he closed his eyes and focused on trying to fall sleep.

Will continued to write in his book for a bit longer before he finally closed it and settled under the blanket. A few minutes passed but Mike wasn’t any closer to sleeping.

“Mike?” Will whispered some time later. “Are you still awake?”

“Yeah.” He replied as he sat up on his elbows and looked down at him. 

He tried to look anywhere other than Will’s mouth.

“Do you care if we sleep with the light on? I usually leave it on.”

Mike took a second to take in how Will looked right now. His long, wavy hair was splayed across the silk pillowcase below him. The pale light in the corner had cast a warm glow across his skin.

Mike felt his collarbones flush.

He cleared his throat.

“Sure, of course. No problem.” 

Mike laid back down and tried to even out his breathing. Outside, an ambulance siren slowly approached, gradually getting louder and louder until it eventually faded away again. Mike shifted around again and tried to get comfortable. He turned to lay on his right side, facing away from Will.

Mike jumped a bit when Will’s voice breaks the silence again, a few minutes later.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” Will said in a voice that was barely audible.

Mike hummed. 

“Me too.”

Chapter Text

It was nearly 10:00 AM when Mike finally peeled his eyes open for the day. He was immediately annoyed by the unforgiving light that was spilling in through the window. 

Sleep had evaded him the night before, which meant today was going to be an especially long day.

Mike had passed the time mostly by fixating on the person asleep next to him. Observing his breaths as they came and went, the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Thankful for the light being on because it had given him the perfect opportunity to gawk.

It felt like a privilege to be able to take in every soft angle, every stray hair and mole and freckle. But with no rushing, no worrying about getting caught.

He told himself he needed to be ready, if Will had another episode.

Mostly, though, Mike had found himself staring at the place where Will’s eyelashes met his cheeks. 

While Mike had been restless, Will on the other hand had slept like a log. He had been impressed by how long Will had been able to lay in one position without moving.

Mike had tried to distract himself, trying to recall the periodic table from memory or thinking of stories to entertain himself, like that one time his roommate locked themselves out of their apartment in December and had to walk to the leasing office in his underwear during a blizzard.

These strategies had only gotten Mike so far, though.

Barely any time had passed and the thought that continued to consume him was that goddamn painting and what it meant.

Well, that and El. 

But the complexity of his feelings toward her had been making his chest ache whenever he thought about it for too long. 

If she really was was alive, it meant she didn’t bother trying to see him the entire time she had been missing. Mike didn’t exactly have to feel guilty that he didn’t go searching for her either.

At least it would mean she wasn’t dust floating somewhere in a distant solar system. That she was still living, breathing, experiencing the life for which she had fought so hard. And it meant that it wasn’t Mike’s fault she was gone. 

That his token, his song hadn’t been the things that ended her existence.

They could both go on with their lives and he could finally grieve and move on. Instead of this limbo he that he currently found himself in. It’s not like he was still in love with her…but he never really felt like he could move on either.

Maybe part of him didn’t really want to.

Hours had passed and Mike was still conscious. Out of desperation, he eventually leaned on the pages of his journal and forced himself to write instead. Laying there in the lull of the night, alone with his thoughts, he found himself scribbling away like a mad man at the sheets of paper.

He wrote short poems and disjointed song lyrics and even tried drawing Will at one point. It was a terrible picture, drawing wasn’t the kind of art he was any good at, but it didn’t matter to Mike. It was just for fun. 

For his eyes only.

He had also penned a letter, specifically for Will. It was a desperate thing he knew nobody else would ever see. Mike expressed things he couldn’t bring himself to admit out loud, because at least they could exist somewhere, on the pages of his book.

Only when the sky started turning a light pale orange color was Mike able to finally drift off into slumber. The birds were already chirping and he could hear the early stages of the morning rush building in the street below. 

He was really struggling to gain momentum.

He knew he would lay here all day if he didn’t do something about it. He rolled himself out of bed and meandered over to a spot next to the window. The visual assault of the daylight was excruciating, but he managed to force his eyes open.

He blinked a few times and tried to focus his vision. Everything looked unfamiliar in the day time, transformed from the night before.

Mike spotted a young woman walking on the other side of the street. She had bright strawberry hair, which was loosely pulled into two French braids on either side of her head. She was walking slowly towards a tall man, with her arms outstretched in front of her. It was winter, but she still had on a long, white, billowy dress under her coat.

A giant, bright yellow sunflower was clutched in her left hand. She was singing, but not quite loud enough for Mike to parse out exactly which song. 

Once she was close to the man, she started wildly sprinting towards him. When they met, she launched herself up in the air and into his arms. 

Mike heard her squeal with glee as the man swung her around, moving her in circles about the sidewalk. Her pigtails spun around and they both just laughed and laughed. 

When he finally stopped and set her back down onto the ground, she threw her hands around his neck and pulled him in for a grandiose kiss. It was over the top in a way that was almost theatrical.

For them, everything else faded away and only the other existed — two dancing twin flames. They paid no mind to any bystanders around them, sometimes they were even blocking their way. But they didn’t care.

Nothing mattered except each other. Their love for all to witness, a devotion with no shame or fear or apprehension, only joy and wonder and adoration.

How was it so easy for them?

He glanced back over to Will’s bed, disheveled with sheets tangled from the night before. The bed they had shared. The blankets were strewn about, a pillow had fallen off the side of the bed and onto the floor.

The yellow sweater hung, discarded from the night before, over the foot of the bed. 

The image stirred something deep inside of him. A wicked, nameless thing he had not quite carved out yet. 

As he stared at mess they had made together, the evidence of their lives intertwined, he tried to brush aside the gnawing sensation inside of him. He knew if he didn’t do something about it, the longing he felt would follow him to the grave. Haunting him forever until it consumed him and ruined him for good. 

But the harder he tried to push it down, the harder it was becoming to ignore.

Mike walked over to the sweater and ran his fingers across the soft, delicate knit material. Will had thrifted it a few years ago, after he’d first moved away. It was much softer than any of Mike’s clothes and not a color he would typically choose for himself, but god how he loved it. He’d steal it if he could.

He picked it up and slowly buried his face in the plush fabric.

The scent was like sunshine, of roses and sandalwood and linen. 

Quickly, without thinking, he threw it over his head and slipped his arms down into the sleeves. He wriggled it the rest of the way on with ease; it was much looser on him than it had been on Will.

Mike eventually found his way to the kitchen some time later, after he had brushed his teeth and tried to make his hair halfway presentable.

Will was there, standing over the stove with a wooden spatula in his hand. Brilliant sunbeams filtered through the kitchen window, pouring through the slats in the blinds and decorating Will’s skin with designs. 

His hair was golden in the light, wild and damp and freshly washed. There was an outline of moisture round his neck and shoulders from the falling droplets of water.

He was wearing a tight black Hanes t-shirt. It appeared as though he had outgrown all of his clothes because this really didn’t fit well either.

He had on a pair of dark distressed 501’s with the top button still undone, causing them slip slightly down on his hips. That same tiny sliver of Will’s belly was peaking though again, at the place where his shirt and pants were supposed to meet.

Mike wished he didn’t notice things like that.

“Can I help?” He cleared his throat.

Will glanced up at him from across the room. A small smile graced his lips. 

“Looks good.”

And then, almost imperceptibly, Will nibbled on his lower lip.

It was subtle enough that an average person wouldn’t have noticed, but the average person wouldn’t have been looking so intently at Will’s mouth.

Mike realized he had no idea what they were talking about.

“What?”

“The sweater?” Will raised his eyebrow. “It looks good.”

Mike looked away and pretended to be studying the label on the back of the orange juice carton in front of him.

“Thanks.” He took a steadying breath. “I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

He didn’t dare steal a glance. 

“Not at all.”

Mike poured himself a glass of the juice and took a long sip. When enough time had passed that he finally chanced a look, he found Will’s eyes already boring directly into him. 

Great.

“I made coffee.” 

Mike swallowed and bobbed his head in acknowledgment.

At least Will seemed like he was in a better mood today.

He walked over to where Will was standing at the stove and stood directly behind him. He leaned forward to watch him cook, resting his head gently on top of Will’s shoulder.

He was currently in the process of making a big pan of scrambled eggs. Mike watched closely as he stirred them around delicately.

He stayed there for a bit, huddling his body against Will’s slightly, observing intently.

It surprised him just how natural all of this felt. Slowly weathering the morning together. Something particularly domestic, like a snapshot of a life that was just out of reach.

“How am I doing?” Will eventually spoke.

Mike hummed. 

“Pretty good.”

“Wanna wash the fruit?” Will gestured to a basket sitting by the sink a few feet away. Mike reluctantly walked across and turned on the tap.

Mike was happy to see Will in such good spirits, compared to yesterday. He seemed to be much less on edge. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say thanks again,” Will mumbled, “…for coming all the way here. It’s kind of crazy to take a twenty hour train ride with no notice.”

Mike began to dry the berries off carefully. He looked at Will.

“It’s not like I had anything better to do.”

Will placed a hand over his chest and pretended to be outraged.

“Ouch. You wound me, Michael Wheeler.”

Mike’s breath caught in his throat.

He looked away from Will quickly.

He called me Michael.

“That’s…uh, not what I meant.” Mike’s words were frantic. “I just mean…I’d much rather be here than back home.”

Will just smiled at him.

Mike was sweating profusely. Maybe layering the sweater was a bad idea.

“Listen, I’m sorry for…my mood, since you got here.” Will began, “I really haven’t been sleeping well, at least until last night.”

The sincerity of his tone is overwhelming, it sounds so earnest that Mike can hardly stand it. 

Will was nearby him now, only a foot or two away.

“No problem at all.” Mike murmured. “I’m…glad you slept well.”

Mike was close enough to smell Will’s toothpaste.

“I guess I feel safer…when you’re here.” His voice was almost a whisper.

Mike suddenly became aware of how dry his mouth was and absentmindedly licked at his lips. 

He should probably say something back, but he was at a complete loss for words.

Then, before he knew what was happening, Will leaned in and tightly pulled Mike into his arms. He clung to him and Mike allowed himself to relax into Will’s touch. He wrapped his hands around Will’s shoulders and buried his hands in his hair. It was soft, like spun silk and left tiny beads of moisture on his hands.

Mike could feel himself nearly coming undone when Will’s hands unexpectedly slid across his lower back and settled on each of his hips. The heat of their bodies together, huddled so close that you couldn’t tell where one of them ended and the other began.

He’d fuse their bodies together like this if he could. Like those people in Pompeii. He could die right now and he'd be just fine with that.

He squeezed his eyes closed and thought about how these moments of tenderness were the only times Mike really felt like himself.

When Will pulled away, Mike felt a sense of loss — an emptiness. Neither one of them said anything to the other. 

He gave Mike a nod and walked back over to the stove.

It’s funny, how something so casual for Will, a hug amongst friends, would consume Mike’s thoughts for the next six months. 

This was just how Will was, he told himself. He was like this with everyone. He was in tune with himself now, not afraid to be affectionate with people. He knew how fragile life was, he didn’t shy away from vulnerability anymore. He had figured out a way to make his tenderness and kindness a super power instead of a weakness.

He was just…unapologetically Will. Genuine in a way that constantly left Mike in awe.

And if he was being honest with himself, it made Mike a little bit envious.

Mike welcomed the physical contact, though. Will had definitely been more affectionate towards Mike over the years and it’s not like he had ever pushed back on any of it. He toed the line right there with Will. It was his favorite thing, their closeness. Intimacy between them was nothing new.

But this visit in general had felt a bit different, though. More…charged. Mike wasn’t sure if it he was just imagining things.

Would he be feeling like this if he hadn’t found the painting?

Will started talking idly about the supermarket down the street, where he had picked up the strawberries and cantaloupe. 

Mike watched as he carefully deposited a big dollop of soap onto his hands and began to massage rapidly it into his skin. He watched as Will rubbed his calloused hands against each other and tried to focus as hard as he could on the words that were coming out of Will’s mouth. 

He had gotten quite adept over the years at convincing himself it was perfectly normal to feel this way about your best friend. To find yourself clinging to their every word, to derive an immense amount of joy from their happiness.

He told himself it was normal to constantly be worried about what the other person was thinking. Normal to know exactly what they are going to say before the words have even left their mouth.

To agonize about whether they’ve eaten enough that day, if they had enough money for the subway. 

But now it differed in a way that Mike couldn’t ignore. More loaded. Like a tide was turning and they were now drifting into unknown territory. 

It terrified him.

“It’s more expensive, but it’s worth it. You know?” Will looked up at him. 

His hair was mostly dry now and Mike could finally appreciate it in all of its glory. It hung slightly in Will’s face in a way that required him to constantly move it out of the way.

He was finding it to be quite distracting.

He looks so pretty.

Will was staring blankly at him. Mike’s brain was empty.

“You’re a bad listener.” There was a ghost of a smile on Will’s lips.

“Be nice.” 

Mike stepped over to him and straightened his shoulders. He reached out and gently poked Will playfully in the middle of his chest.

“I didn’t sleep well.” Mike as he puffed out his lower lip. “I’m running on empty.”

Will wrinkled his brows, as if Mike had said something wrong.

“You couldn’t sleep? Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“Was it my bed?”

“No, not at all.” Mike paused and thought for a minute. 

I couldn’t stop looking at you. 

“Oh, just anxiety.” He said. “About everything, I guess.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about how long you must have spent on that painting. 

Will appeared to be distressed now.

“I feel bad. I slept great and you were struggling the entire time.”

“Don’t even worry about it.”

Mike offered him a small smile. They were staring at each other now, neither one of them was even attempting to look busy anymore. 

Mike’s eyes dashed to Will’s lips. Slightly flushed, a bit dry. Just in need of a little bit of moisture…

Chapstick. He must remember the chapstick.

“They should be here soon.” Will broke Mike’s concentration. 

Mike quickly looked away, over towards the front door. 

Oh, right.

He cleared his throat.

“About that.” He said apprehensively. “I was thinking…we need epsom salt.”

“Epsom salt?” Will asked.

“Yeah.” Mike replied softly.

“Oh.”

“What?”

Will exhaled loudly and walked back over to resume cooking.

“Do you think it’ll work?” He finally asked.

“Not sure, but it’s the only idea I have so far.” Mike replied with optimism.

He was startled a second later when the phone rang out, but Will didn’t react. He just continued stirring. 

It kept ringing, several more times, over and over again. Mike narrowed his eyes at him.

“Are you gonna get that?” 

“No.” Will replied sternly.

“Oh. Okay then.”

It rang a few more times until the machine finally picked up, but the caller opted to not leave a message.

Will scooped the steaming scrambled eggs into a big white bowl. Mike had already started carrying everything over to the table.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know?” Mike said quietly.

“I know that.”

He didn’t want to say anything to upset Will again, he needed to choose his words carefully.

“I just don’t want there to be any…secrets…between us.” Mike murmured a moment later.

He fidgeted back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

He was being a hypocrite. There was plenty that he was hiding.

Will finally stilled his movements and fixed his gaze on Mike. He could tell that Will was concentrating hard on what to say next.

“It was Anton.” Will said when he finally spoke. “He keeps calling, but I’m not going to talk to him.”

“I see...”

“He can’t take a hint.” Now Will sounded exasperated.

“Maybe you need to be more direct?”

“I told him I hope he died.”

Mike’s eyes widened.

“Oh. Well, I guess that is pretty direct.”

Will sighed and closed his eyes, Mike could feel him shutting down.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Will answered immediately. 

Mike nodded at him and tried to look sympathetic. 

“Actually, yes.” Will added a second later. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“It just…wasn’t going to work out.” 

The words fell from his lips slowly, as if he wasn’t sure what to say.

“Oh?”

“He wanted too much from me. Things I can’t possibly give him.”

“Yeah? I get that.”

Because in some way, he did understand. He understood what it was like to be unfulfilled. To always be looking for more, only for no one to ever measure up. He had given up on it a long time ago.

Will took a seat next to Mike. 

"Also he constantly got drunk and made out with his roommate.”

Mikes eyes were huge again.

“His straight roommate.” Will added.

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s…truly foul.”

“I know”

Mike needed to break the tension.

“Want me to kill him?”

Will started laughing manically a moment later. A sly smile spread across Mike’s face, nothing brought him more satisfaction than seeing Will like this and knowing he was the cause.

“Too much?” 

“Maybe. I’m not sure yet.” Will finally responded.

Mike offered him a small smile and then Will continued to talk.

“I don’t know...” 

He stopped for a minute and took a deep breath and stared into Mike’s eyes.  

“I…didn’t hear stampedes in my ears, when he would look at me. I didn’t feel weak in the knees when he would say my name.”

Mike nodded.

“Now that I say it out loud, it sounds silly.”

Will’s eyes were big and watery now.

Mike thought about the woman, from this morning.

"He didn't sweep you off your feet?" Mike asked quietly.

"Yeah, exactly." Will sighed. “Maybe I’m being naive, trying to find a version of love that doesn’t actually exist.”

Mike isn’t sure where they came from but he can feel tears prickling at the corners of his own eyes, too.  Will quickly looked away from him and out the window across the room. 

Mike was clinging to every word. 

“I’ve only experienced it once and now I’ll forever be looking for that.”  His voice cracked.

There was a profound look of sadness in his eyes. 

“I doubt anything else will ever be enough.” Will mumbled as he sat back in his chair.

“God. I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to—” Will started but Mike interrupted him.

“No, please. Go on.” 

Mike’s stomach was completely in knots. It was all he could muster. He reached out and grabbed Will’s forearm.

“I just…I know what I want.” Will said, as if he were resigned to it. “I can’t have it.”

“You deserve stampedes.” Mike blurted out.

Will looked down at the place where Mike was still holding onto his skin.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, almost to himself.

The sound of Jonathan’s key turning in the lock jolted them both back to reality.

“I said, ‘can you pass the toast, please?’” Nancy narrowed her eyes at Mike.

“Oh, sorry.” He slowly handed the basket of bread over to her.

Nancy turned towards Will.

“What’s his problem?” 

“He didn’t sleep well.” Will looked at Mike as he spoke.

Jonathan smirked to himself as he scooped a few pieces of cantaloupe onto his plate.

“Guys.” He said sternly.

“You know I can hear you, right?” Mike said as he glared at Nancy. 

She continued speaking to Will.

“Yeah, I can tell, he looks terrible. He also really needs a haircut.” 

She gave him a straight smile and then took a big bite of her toast.

“I hate you.” 

“I actually think his hair—” Will attempted to speak, but Jonathan cut him off.

“Guys, please. Let’s get back on track here.”

A small mercy for Mike.

“So that’s the plan?” Jonathan’s tone was skeptical. “Sensory deprivation?”

“Yeah.” Mike replied evenly.

“Couldn’t that be dangerous?” Jonathan was looking directly at Will now.

He waited for a Will to answer.

“If it’s not El on the other end…maybe?” 

Jonathan furrowed his brows and then his face started to get red, like he was thinking of all the ways this plan would inevitably turn into an unmitigated disaster. 

Mike needed to do damage control. He cleared his throat.

“Here’s what I think.” 

He folded his arms across his chest.

“I think when we destroyed the bridge to that place, we destroyed the path between that world and ours. And I think whoever is communicating with Will is…on this side of the bridge.”

He paused for a moment and watched Will worry his bottom lip. 

“I’ve thought about this a lot, okay? The most likely person is El. Plain and simple.” Mike spoke as he stood and picked up his empty plate. 

He walked around the table and paused, looked down at Will’s plate, and then back up.

“What makes you say that?” Jonathan asked.

Will nodded at Mike. 

Then, Mike picked up Will’s plate and carried it over to the sink and began to wash them both.

Jonathan and Nancy both watched the silent interaction with curiosity.

“It’s the only thing that makes sense, really.” Mike was scrubbing as he spoke.

Nancy and Jonathan exchanged a look.

“Unless there’s randomly another person out there who’s also capable of telepathic communication?” He said sarcastically. “Someone who also specifically wants to talk to Will?”

Mike sat back down at the table next to Will.

“Henry is dead.” He said firmly as he stared into Will’s eyes. “I’m going to be optimistic and choose to believe it’s El, until proven otherwise.”

Mike was growing tired of trying to get Jonathan on board. It’s not like they needed his permission.

“Please, Jonathan.” Will begged. “We’ll be safe. You’ll be here to help. I just need this to stop happening.”

“Will said it himself. The voice sounded muffled, far away. Maybe it could help him focus?” Nancy chimed in.

Nobody said anything for a moment as they considered how to move forward.

“I guess this explains why you’ve seemed off lately…” Jonathan finally spoke. 

His eyes were pained. 

“You…didn’t feel like you could tell me?” 

“No, it’s not that.” Will tore his eyes away from his brother and looked at Mike, as if he was looking for reassurance.

“I was just…afraid…that something bad was happening again.”

Jonathan reached over and put his arm around Will. His eyes fluttered closed and all Mike could think about was how badly he wished he could reach out and comfort Will, too.

“It’s my fault, too…I should have called sooner.” 

“Don’t say that, Mike.” Will’s tone was somber. “It’s nobody’s fault.”

Jonathan finally released his arm from around Will and leaned back in his chair. 

“It’s so bizarre talking about this stuff again.” Nancy mumbled a few minutes later, in somewhat of a daze.

Mike studied Jonathan’s face closely. He was deep in thought, and looked about as tired as Mike felt.

“Just, promise me you won’t keep secrets anymore.” Jonathan was speaking directly to Will.  “There’s no reason you should have to go through this alone.”

Mike could feel the ache in his words. Jonathan might be the only person on earth who cared about Will as much as Mike did.

Neither one would survive losing him again.

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” Will finally replied.

Nancy chimed in a minute later.

“Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be to find everything we need, and on such short notice?”

“Okay, is there anything else?

“No, that should be everything.” Mike said confidently.

He glanced over to the kitchen and watched Will and Jonathan clear the rest of the dishes off of the table.

“Do mom and dad know you’re skipping class? Or that you’re in different time zone right now?”

“Nancy, just…spare me the lecture, okay?" He said defensively. “I really don’t need it.” 

“Mike,” She paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m not trying to scold you. You’re an adult, you can do what you want. I’m just worried about you.”

Mike rolled his eyes at her.

“Calm down, Nance.”

Now she looked pissed.

“Calm down? Really?” Her tone was severe. “The last several times we talked on the phone, you weren’t doing well. You have been despairing about life lately.”

Mike looked back over to Will and watched intently as he slowly rubbed a soapy sponge against the plate in his hands.

“I don’t hear from you for a month and the next thing I know, you’re here playing house with Will.”

Mike was seeing red.

“Fuck off.” He spit out.

“Ignoring your responsibilities?”

He crossed his arms against his chest.

“What’s it to you, anyway?”

“Because you’re my brother and I care about you, asshole.” Her voice was softer now. “Mike, please…just…talk to me.”

Her eyes were wide and Mike could tell she was being sincere. He didn’t want her to worry, but he also couldn’t exactly tell her the truth. 

Nancy, I’m feeling unspeakable things for my best friend.

“I’m fine, okay? Will called me, he needed my help. I was happy for an excuse to get away.” Mike replied. “It’s really that simple.”

She stared at him, studying his features. Looking for any hint of dishonesty, hiding just beneath the surface.

“I promise. I’m fine.” He tried to sound as convincing as he possibly could.

Nancy looked over at Will and then back to Mike.

“How’re things?” She kept her voice low.

“Fine I guess?” Then he looked over at Will, too.

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“Actually, he’s snapped at me a few times.” Mike said absentmindedly. “He keeps acting like he’s pissed off.”

Nancy suddenly snickered to herself and a sly grin spread across her face.

Mike was immediately irritated.

“What’s so hilarious about that?”

“Oh…it’s just…that just sounds exactly like Jonathan when he’s mad at me.”

Mike tried to walk away from her to end the conversation, but she quickly snatched his arm and held him in place.

“These Byers men…” Her voice trailed off but her grip remained tight. “They can be…hardheaded. Not great at admitting when they’re wrong. Don’t be afraid to be the bigger person and apologize—”

“Apologize first?” He interrupted her. “Yeah, I tried that already.”

“Oh come on, he’s probably just stressed out.” Her grasp on him was unmoving. “Jonathan says that he keeps everything bottled inside. And he’s been dealing with the…Anton situation on top of that.”

Mike knows she’s right but he just can’t take it. He needs to be anywhere else but here.

“You can let go of me now.” 

“Just give me a second, okay?” There was a plea in her eyes.

Mike nodded apprehensively at her and then she finally released her fingers.

If he were smart, he would make a break for it while he had the chance.

“What if maybe…Will’s worried things are going to change, between the two of you?”

Mike shot her a confused look. 

“If it turns out that El is alive?” He asked. 

She nodded back.

Change between Will and I?

Oh. 

Like that day in the rain. On the porch, when they were both just kids.

His heart sank. 

The words made him sick to his stomach now.

Mike shook his head. He’d never let that happen again.

“I don’t think that’s it.”

Mike glanced over to Will again. He and Jonathan were talking about something with hushed voices now.

“At all.” He added.

“Why not?” Nancy asked a second later.

“Because El and I are ancient history.”

“Are you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, ever since she disappeared…you never moved on, Mike. You don’t date. You don’t go out. You don’t even look at anyone else, well except—“ Nancy stopped herself. 

She was frowning now.

“You’re just stuck.” 

Mike might have found her concern touching if he weren’t so uncomfortable with this particular conversation.

“Christ, Nancy.” He swore under his breath. “It’s not like I’ve just been pining for El this whole time—”

She cut him off before he could finish.

“Does he know that?” She gestured over to Will. 

Mike didn’t know how to respond.

“I don’t know…” His voice trailed off. “Why would it matter, anyway?”

His cheeks were now burning hot.

“You tell me, Mike.”

He scoffed and found himself unable to speak. She needed to back off. He leaned in close and spoke with a low, harsh voice. 

“I’m here for Will, that’s it.” 

He didn’t like Nancy prying into his feelings, even if she was just trying to be a good sister.  He couldn’t handle the criticism right now.

“I’m not here because I hope El is going to come running back into my arms or something.” He said quietly, a few seconds later.

She sighed at him.

“Cut me some slack, please.” His tone was desperate.

She nodded at him slowly. Mike stepped to walk away but she grabbed his arm again. 

“Wait.” 

She pulled him into her arms for a hug. Mike’s body stiffened as she tightened her grip around his taller frame.

“Mom would want me to say something encouraging, like ‘everything is going to be okay,’ or ‘you’ve got—”

Mike groaned and struggled in her grip, attempting to tear himself away.

“I’m leaving now.”

She was holding onto him as tight as she could.

Just then, Mike spun his body around and grabbed Nancy, sliding his arm around her neck. She struggled against him as he deftly placed her into a headlock. 

Jonathan and Will watched in amusement from across the room. 

“Fuck him up, Nance.” Jonathan called out with a hint of delight.

Nancy was able to wiggle out of Mike’s grip and stepped behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. She attempted to throw her weight down to the ground to take him down with her, but it was no use. 

He was taller and bigger than she was. He could easily withstand anything she threw his way.

Suddenly, Mike paused. Something he remembered.

“Game over.”

“Hey, that’s not fair.” Nancy said as she was catching her breath.

“I do actually need you to get me a few things…” He said with a hushed voice. “While you guys are out.”

Nancy pulled a pen and a tiny red notepad out of her shirt pocket.

Chapter Text

Will motioned to a pile of towels sitting on the vanity counter beside Mike. He handed one of them over and Will laid it out, flat across the bathroom floor. He nodded to Mike again and he quickly handed him another. One by one, Will splayed them all out, making sure he covered up as much of the tile as possible.

While he and Will had been prepping for the last hour or so, Jonathan and Nancy had went out to secure a few supplies. So far, they had blocked off light from the only window in the room and covered up most of the floor. There wasn’t much left to be done in terms of preparing.

Will and Mike hadn’t spoken much since being left alone, so Mike once again found himself at the mercy of his own sleep-deprived brain. 

Even though Mike had been trying to find the perfect opening to ask Will about the portrait, the opportunity hadn’t really presented itself yet.

It’s not like he was really chomping at the bit to bring it up, though.

They weren’t saying much but were still working flawlessly in tandem, wordlessly moving from one task to the next. A comfortable rhythm that Mike would normally enjoy, if only there weren’t so much else hanging in the air.

Will had his brow was furrowed a slight frown on his lips. He was staring up at Mike but he wasn’t saying anything.

Mike flashed him a concerned look.

“You okay?” He asked quietly.

Will blinked a few times, as if he were registering what Mike had said. 

“Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.” He finally stammered out. “Just…a lot on my mind I guess.”

Mike gave him a tight smile and nodded.

Once Will had laid the final towel on the floor, he stood and met Mike’s eyes. 

“Do you really think it’s her?” Will said softly.

“I hope so.” 

Will turned to walk out of the bathroom.

“Right.” Will muttered, almost to himself. “Of course you do…”

……?

“We need to make a blindfold or goggles of some kind.” Will said a moment later.

Mike picked through his brain for a moment and tried to brainstorm.

What the hell is his deal?

“Uh, what about an old pair of sunglasses? Mike offered.

“Jonathan definitely has some. I’ll go check his room.” Will started to walk away, but then he stopped himself. 

“What else do you think we’ll need?” He asked. 

“What about tape? And cardboard? To block out the light around the sides?” Mike proposed.

“Yes, perfect.” Will smiled at him, but he could tell it was forced. “There’s some tape in my room, in my desk. Top drawer, on the right side.” 

Will turned around to leave again but Mike called out after him.

“Will, wait.”

He walked tentatively back into the room.

“Yeah?”

“…I don’t get it.” Mike’s voice was low. “Don’t you hope it’s El?” 

“Yeah…of course I do.” 

Mike found that Will's tone wasn't very convincing.

“Okay, so we’re on the same page then…” Mike sounded irritated.

“Yep.”

“Good.”

Will nodded curtly at Mike and then strode out of the room.

Jesus, he’s acting weird. 

Didn’t he want his sister to be alive?

Mike walked out into the hallway and into Will’s bedroom. The soft afternoon light bathed everything in warmth and made the temperature much more pleasant than the rest of the house. All Mike wanted to do was crawl back into their messy bed and get more sleep.

He was trying not to take Will’s moodiness personally. It made sense — Will had a lot on his plate.  Mike was trying do better, to be the friend that Will needed right now. He was going to try to be patient and understanding.

He was just happy to have a change in his routine, to be here spending time with Will and doing something different for a change. All of his problems back home felt a million miles away.

He made his way over to the desk to grab the supplies. It looked ancient, strangely ornate and made of a dark wood. Mike reached for the drawer with the tap and struggled to hoist it open - something inside was causing it to stick. When he tried pulling again, this time with a lot more force, Mike inadvertently tore the drawer out from inside of the desk. A rush of papers fluttered down to the floor, scattering around his feet.

Oops.

He looked down and noticed right away that they were all pieces of artwork, but they differed vastly from those that Will had chosen to leave hanging up on the wall. There were maybe fifty pieces or more and from first glance, it appeared as though the subject of every single one of them was…Mike?

But that couldn’t be right.

He got down on his hands and knees and began to thumb through each of them, almost in a daze. 

Each work showed him doing various, seemingly random tasks. There was one that showed him sweaty, pushing the lawnmower at his parent’s house back in Hawkins. It was evidently summer because there were fireflies painted all around. The humidity and his body heat had caused his shirt and shorts to cling to his skin. 

There was another drawing where Mike had his guitar in his arms, picking intently at the strings with his fingers. His eyelids were barely open, with his head resting gently on top of the body of the guitar. The lighting was moody and dark, with dramatic shadows that were cast over his body. He recognized the look on his face, he was lost in thought, spiraling down some tangent during his songwriting. Feeling the music.

Will had noticed.

Mike realized that his hands were shaking now. 

One large piece in particular jumped out at him suddenly; he picked it up and studied it carefully. Even though he didn’t know much about art, it was clear to Mike that it must have taken hours and hours to complete.

It showed Mike on horseback, bareback, with a billowy blue shirt on that was waving behind him. He was wearing what appeared to be boxer shorts and his feet were bare. His hair was untamed, painted to look much longer than it actually was in real life. The frenzied tendrils were drawn as if they too were flying in the wind, stretching out madly behind him. His hands were fisted in the mane, gripping it tightly as his thighs clung to the horse's sides.

The imagery it conveyed was beautiful, so breathtakingly exquisite that it was making Mike’s chest ache. He barely recognized himself. Will had painted Mike to appear much different than how he saw himself. He was…powerful. He looked determined and strangely…primal?

His mind went to imagining Will working tirelessly on this for days, with paint smeared all over his hands and down his clothes. Dried paint stuck in his fingernails. He had given it his all. Mike recognized the way Will had painstakingly captured every little detail of his face, the way the light hit his eyes, the intentionality behind the look of pleasure on Mike’s expression. That part alone must have taken ages. Will had chosen to highlight these specific things about him… 

This is how he sees me.

He blinked his eyes a few times as whiteness threatened to overtake his vision. His brain was short-circuiting.

His skin felt tingly from head to toe, and for once, all of the blood in Mike’s body had rushed to somewhere other than his brain. 

The moment was short-lived because panic crept in at the realization that these drawings were absolutely hidden for a reason. His throat tightened. He needed to get this cleaned up as soon as possible, before he was gone too long and Will came looking for him. 

Just like the paladin hidden on the wall, Will had clearly had not intended for anyone to see these. 

Mike started to scramble and grabbed at the papers around him. As he began to place them into a messy pile, he started to uncover more and more illustrations.

There was one of Mike, sitting in a grand library that he didn’t recognize. An open book rested in front of him and the end of a pencil stuck in his mouth. He was deep in thought, a contemplative look on his face, glancing down at the book below him. Again, special attention was given to the lighting, which showed several bright rays filtering down onto him from a nearby window.

Once again, he had been depicted in a way that was vaguely...erotic?

Buried beneath several pages was finally a drawing of somebody besides himself. 

It was a rough sketch, picturing a shirtless Will from above. His lips were parted slightly and were swollen and glistening. There was a feral look burning in his eyes, a look that Mike had never seen on him before. His hair was messy and sticking haphazardly to the sides of his face. A hand was gripping his chin, and the thumb of the hand was lightly brushing his bottom lip. Will looked completely and absolutely wrecked. 

It was definitely, by far, the hottest thing Mike has ever seen.

He felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest.

It was unmistakable. The wanton look in Will's eyes, dripping with a pure hunger and something that was actually closer to worship. The yearning that Mike knew all too well. 

And if that weren't enough, Mike then realized that the freckles on the hand that Will had drawn were very clearly...his own freckles. 

And it was his own finger that was threatening to slide tenderly into Will’s open mouth.

Mike took a deep breath and lowered himself completely to the ground. He folded his knees in front of his chest and tucked his head in between them. With his eyes wedged shut, he rocked himself back and forth for a minute as the room spun around him. 

Where the paladin drawing had confused him, this felt more like complete and utter pandemonium. Like an avalanche, a dam bursting open inside of him.

He felt like he was suffocating.

It was becoming clear to Mike. He could no longer deny what he had always known deep down, since they were both kids.

I like Will. 

He lifted his head up and looked again at the drawing. He was aching with need now, unable to deny it to himself any longer.

I...want my best friend.

He buried his face in his hands and immediately broke down, unable to process what was happening inside of his brain. He cried huge racking sobs that made Mike's entire body rattle and shake. Tears were flowing out wildly down his hands and face, he let go and let everything pour out of him.

Years of repressed feelings, ignoring his intuition, telling himself that something was wrong with him. Years of enduring comments from his dad, about those kinds of people, comments about Will and how he dressed. The things he heard that had always made Mike feel like he was broken in some way. He felt it all fading into something else.

Other things that he had tucked deep down inside of himself were emerging. He was experiencing a deep, fervent need, a storm that was spreading through his veins like wildfire, oozing out of him through every pore. He felt like he was going insane, he couldn't contain it any longer. The levy had broken and there was no stuffing any of this back inside of himself. 

Admitting all of this felt like he had moved far past the point of no return, there was no coming back from this. You can't unring a bell. 

He wiped at the moisture on his face and dried it with the ends of his sleeves.

The picture of Will had confirmed something to him. He knew that he wasn’t imagining things, it was so obvious to him now that it wasn’t just some stupid crush from five years ago.

Will wants me, too…

“Wrong drawer.” Will’s voice behind him jolted Mike back to reality and up to his feet.

The stack of papers accidentally fell from his hands again and back down onto the floor but Mike was still frozen in place. Will slowly walked over to where Mike was standing and lowered himself to the ground and began to collect them.

“Will, Jesus, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

Mike's stomach dropped.

“Don’t.” Will’s tone was pointed.

"Please.”

He acted like he didn’t hear Mike.

“Please, just talk to me.” Mike pleaded. 

He lowered himself to his knees and grabbed at Will’s hands, finally halting his movements. Will’s eye were full of tears, which had already begun to spill down his cheeks. He still wouldn’t look at Mike.

“Will…”

“Please…just don’t.” He grit back.

Will continued to gather up the pieces beneath them as Mike just watched.

“These are all unbelievable, Will…” 

Mike could feel everything else around them fade away. He stood and walked over to the wall of drawings and began to flip through until he found it. 

Michael. The brave.

Mike stuck his finger against it roughly.

“This one, too. You didn’t want me to see them?”

Will finally looked up at him from the floor. His eyes were wide and full of grief, he looked absolutely terrified. It broke Mike's heart.

“Must've missed that one.” 

Mike saw his bottom lip tremble. He felt like he was losing his mind.

“That’s all you have to say?” 

“I can't do this.”

“We’ve been best friends for almost two decades—” 

Will abruptly cut him off.

“Yeah, well that’s the problem, isn't it?” Will huffed out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mike couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice.

Will walked over to the desk and carefully placed the artworks back inside. He was standing right next to Mike again, but still refused to meet his eye line.

Mike could tell he was still crying.

“Nothing.” Will swallowed hard. “Just drop it, okay?”

“I don’t want to.” Mike grumbled.

Will just sighed, loudly.

“Jesus Christ, man. Take a hint.” Will said harshly.

He tried to turn to head towards the door but Mike quickly stepped in front of him, blocking his path. 

“I said let it go.” He sounded absolutely irate now.

“I’m not letting you out of here until we talk about this.” Mike declared as he crossed his arms against his chest.

“God, you’re infuriating.” Will spit out.

He tried to side step around him, but Mike was faster.

“Talk, goddamn it.” Mike was practically yelling now.

“I just can’t.” He sounded defeated.

He kept his eyes down at his feet as he quickly stepped around Mike and hurried out of the room.

“Will, wait…” Mike cried out after him, but it was too late. 

He was already gone.

Mike jumped to his feet and thrust himself into action, tearing out of the room as fast as he possibly could but when he entered the kitchen, he saw Jonathan and Nancy standing there instead. Will was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s he going in such a hurry?” Jonathan questioned. 

Mike frowned at him.

“…We…had a fight.”

Nancy and Jonathan looked at each other.

“Oh? Er, what about?” Nancy asked tentatively, glancing back to Mike.

“Can’t talk.” Mike looked at Jonathan. “Isn’t there a park nearby or something? Where he likes to run?”

“Oh, yeah, he usually starts at Battery Park, it’s north of here.”

Mike was practically out the door before Jonathan had finished his sentence.

He had no idea where he was going, but Mike set out, steadfast, in search of Will. He was just going to head in that general direction until he spotted trees, because parks have trees. He knew that much.

Being back down here on the streets without Will had given Mike a peculiar, queasy feeling in his gut. The city didn’t feel so magical anymore, instead it was just overwhelming and smelly to Mike. He stumbled around, trying to stay out of everyone’s way but was failing miserably. He was absentminded, his brain was moving a million miles a minute, slowly piecing together the last two decades of his life. 

Everything was starting to click. His past with El, the people he tried to hook up with after. It never really felt right to him. He had always felt like a performer, simply putting on a show for the other person. Doing what he thought he was supposed to. And he always found himself subconsciously comparing everything to how his friendship with Will made him feel. He was never fully present with any of them, he couldn’t let himself fully be Mike like he could around Will.

And over time, he supposed that he had just convinced himself that those kinds of things weren’t meant for someone like Mike. That he was supposed to be alone.

He felt like an idiot. He had wasted so much time, not knowing what he wanted. Or maybe it was that deep down, he had always known what he wanted, but he could never accept those parts of himself. He was too afraid to ever dip his toe into that pool, had never even considered it a possibility.

He stopped for a moment and looked around, trying to see if anything familiar jumped out at him.

His feet were killing him.

It really wasn’t like Will to run off like this, especially knowing how much it would worry Mike. He didn’t know that Will would react so poorly, he had just been looking for answers. Mike shouldn’t have let him leave, he should have held him down and forced him to listen. He should have confessed his feelings to Will while he had the chance.

Because now, Mike had completely lost his nerve. He has to make sure that Will feels the same way first...

He walked for blocks and blocks until he finally approached the park. The three of them had actually been by this area the night before, but Mike didn’t recognize much. It had been dark then, and now it hardly looked like the same place at all. He stopped near the entrance to the park and looked around, turning himself in a complete circle. He paced around for a few minutes and tried to acclimate himself to the area.

Nothing was really jumping out at him at first glance, except a familiar smell wafting up into his nose. 

Will’s coffee shop. It’s near here.

Mike scanned the street and when he spotted it, he made his way over and inside.

There was no sign of Will, but Mike did spot a bulletin board nearby that had a giant map of local running trails and routes on it. 

Bingo.

He walked over to it and studied it frantically, trying to commit as many of them to memory as possible before he headed into the park again.

“Oh my god, Mike?” 

He slowly turned around and was faced with a young woman, probably around the same age as him. She had blonde curly hair that was piled on top of her head in a loose, messy bun. The name tag pinned to her top read Julie. Her handwriting was so messy that he could barely read it.

“I thought that was you.” She said cheerfully.

“Um…sorry, but do I know you?” Mike’s voice probably sounded more harsh than he intended, but he couldn’t help it. 

He had a lot on his mind.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry.”

She reached down and dried her hands off on her apron and then offered one of them to Mike. He shook it apprehensively.

“I’m Jules. Pleasure to meet you.” She cleared her throat. “You must be looking for William? He didn’t mention you were coming into town.”

“I’m sorry, but who are you?”

She finally released his hand.

“Ha, you must think I’m totally a psycho.” Her voice was bubbly in a way that Mike was finding slightly annoying.

“Will and I are friends, we had a gender and sexuality class together last semester.” She leaned back and crossed her arms against her chest. “He also comes here, like every single day.”

Mike raised an eyebrow at her.

“Sorry, I ramble a lot.” She loudly popped the piece of gum in her mouth. “Some people find it annoying.”

Mike didn't have time for this.

“Listen, it’s nice to meet you and everything, but I really need to be going.” 

He turned around again, hoping she would take the hint, but she kept talking to him.

“I’ve seen the artwork, but my god, seeing you in person is a whooooole different story.” 

He spun back around. She clicked her tongue as she looked at him up and down. Mike shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

“And you’re like, way taller than I was expecting.”

Mike wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“Artwork?” His voice trailed off. 

“Yeah, right over there.” She gestured to the second floor.

Mike's eyes bugged out of his head. 

“We have a small gallery space up there, for locals. Will shows his work up there. He always finds a way to sneak in a few of you each month, though. I figured he would have ran out by now, but boy do they just keep coming and coming.”

Mike felt like he was lost at sea — his brain was already floating a million miles away.

He couldn’t focus on anything else she was saying because his feet were already carrying him over towards the stairs. When he reached the top, straight ahead of him hung gigantic portrait of himself. 

Mike held his breath as he approached the painting.

He was shown in profile, with dark shadows cast across his jaw and nose. There were streams of tears falling from his eyes as a flame danced behind him. Beneath him was a pile of ash and rubble, full of the remnants of pages of burned books and photographs. The name of the piece was “Compulsory,” but the price tag said it wasn’t for sale.

It appeared as though Will had almost the entire gallery dedicated to himself. After looking around, he determined that there were hardly any pieces up here from other artists. None of the pictures of himself were for sale, though, which made him feel a little better, that there weren’t any random people with paintings of him hanging in their houses. 

He wouldn’t mind if Will hung more of them up in his room, though.

So Will had publicly displayed these without him knowing…but did that mean he had displayed all of them? Even the one of him on the horse?

Oh dear god.

He needed to find Will immediately.

He turned around abruptly, with a renewed vigor and plowed down the stairs. He swiftly walked through the exit as the barista yelled after him.

“Nice to meet you!”

Mike sat defeated on the end of a park bench overlooking the harbor. The sky was beginning to to fade into beautiful shades of purple and pink, closely resembling the sunset in that photo next to Will’s bed.

Just Like Heaven.

His stomach sank. 

He had been at this for hours and he still had no idea where Will was. He had already been through the few trails he had memorized from the poster but he was too anxious to go back and look at the map again. 

He couldn’t deal with Julie right now.

Mike was starting to remember the appeal of alcohol.

Deep down, he had been hiding from himself. He had buried so many parts of himself because he was too much of a coward to face them, dulled them with beer and weed and cigarettes on his fire escape. He’d never wanted to rock the boat. He was afraid of what his family would say, what his dad would say. He wasn’t strong like Will. How could he ever live that?

So open and free.

Mike had never been able to not care what other people would think. He was always too self-conscious, had always wanted to fade into the background. Avoid being perceived by anyone, as often as he possibly could.

But Mike had a stunning revelation, and it was that he'd push himself to do just about anything, if it meant a chance to be with Will.

It didn’t matter to Mike what anyone would think or have to say about it. It didn’t matter that he was “supposed” to date girls or that Will was his best friend. He wouldn’t care if people stared at them on the street or gave them shit for it. He wanted to it so badly that everything else was just noise.

The more time he had to think about it, the more sure Mike was that it was right. Like the missing puzzle piece. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with him and all he needed the whole time was this.

Every time he had even come close to trying with anyone after El, he always ended up disappointed. No woman had ever excited him or held his attention for more than two days at a time. They were all pretty enough, perfectly suitable dates, beautiful by anyone's standards. They all had things to say. Girls from school and gigs mostly. It just never felt quite right. And the last one was over a year ago, anyway. He had stopped looking for that spark now, resigned himself to finding a way to be okay with being alone.

Nobody had really tried to know him…not in the same ways that Will knew him.

Maybe it was never right with anyone else…because it was always supposed to be like this.

Because maybe there's only been one person that's ever made him feel the way you’re supposed to feel, when you’re…

Holy shit.

It hit Mike all at once, barreling through his flesh and bones like a runaway freight train. He sucked in a deep breath.

In love.

I’m in love with Will.

He blinked his eyes a few times and felt wetness begin to slide down his cheeks. He leaned forward and hung his head in his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the noise around him. 

“Mike?” 

His neck snapped up. 

Will had appeared next to him, and he was absolutely drenched in sweat. 

For a second time today, Will has walked in on Mike bawling his eyes out.

He looked up at Will through his eyelashes. It was as if Mike were seeing him for the first time, seeing him through a completely different lens. He felt his chest and neck flush and it was like all of his skin was on fire.

Wow.

He allowed his eyes to rake over Will’s body, letting himself notice the beads of sweat dripped from his chin and down his neck. He still had on the same clothes as this morning, with the addition of a jacket he had thrown on when he left. He had clearly been jogging or exercising of some kind because he looked exhausted.

But he looked beautiful, all the same.

I love him.

Mike’s pulse was racing. 

“What are you doing here?” Will’s nervousness was clear from his tone. “Wait, are you crying again?” 

Mike rolled his eyes at him.

“I'm here because I was looking for you, moron…” Mike wanted to get angry, to be upset at him for running off and for making him worry all day. But all he could feel was relief.

He quickly wiped the wetness away from his eyes.

“Julie says hi, by the way.” Mike said weakly.

Will sighed heavily. He walked over to the bench and sat down next to Mike. 

“I'm sorry. I didn’t think you’d come looking for me.” He said quietly. "I just needed space."

Both of them faced forward, staring at the sun setting in front of them. They sat there for a few minutes, taking in the sounds of the water, until Will finally spoke.

“I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“That’s an understatement.” Mike said softly.

Another minute of silence stretched tenuously between them. Mike finally turned his body so that he was facing Will.

“Well?” Mike nodded at him.

Will took a deep, steadying breath before he started..

“I’m not ashamed of my work…” His voice trailed off. 

Mike watched Will study the harbor in front of them.

“I hid them because…I guess I didn’t want you to think it was weird?” Will finally confessed.

“Weird?” 

“Yeah, um, that I drew you like that, so many times...” He paused for a moment before he continued. 

“Given…how I used to feel about you…”

Mike’s stomach dropped. 

“Obviously, I don’t feel that way anymore, but I draw inspiration from you still. Some of those pieces you saw were pretty old."

Obviously. Right. 

“I just…enjoy drawing my friends, I guess.” Will muttered a few seconds later.

How can he believe what Will is saying when he knows that it's nowhere near normal to portray your friends in the ways that Will had depicted him in those drawings…

For instance, he would personally never draw a picture of himself with Dustin's fingers in his mouth.

I would never paint Lucas almost-naked on horseback, either...

Mike remembered what Will said earlier that day, about always looking for a love that didn’t exist. Because he had already experienced it once, and nothing else ever came close.

He had to be talking about Mike...right?

There were so many signs, he knew it wasn’t all in his head. He was trying to give Will an opportunity to just be honest, with Mike and with himself.

Mike couldn’t stand out on this limb alone.

Will’s cheeks were bright red now as he finally turned his head to look back at Mike. His eyes were wet again, glassy and wide with a look that he was holding something back.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Mike’s voice was barely above a whisper now. 

He saw Will swallow hard.

Please.

Then, Will slowly nodded his head. Mike watched him blink his eyes and then watched the tears began to streak down Will's face.

Mike looked back in front of him and stared across the harbor, at another barge that was slowly passing by. He let out a giant breath he had been holding in.

Mike was looking for confirmation, but it was clear that Will wasn’t going to give it to him.

Perhaps he was too late and Will didn't love him anymore. Or even worse...maybe Mike was wrong and it really was just some stupid, fleeting crush that lasted for 2 weeks when they were kids. Maybe Will never truly wanted him at all.

The thought makes his heart ache in his chest.

“That one of me, hanging at the coffee shop.” Mike suddenly spoke. “You titled it something weird… ‘Compulsory’ or something."

Immediately, all of the color drained from Will’s cheeks.

"You saw that?"

“Why?” Mike asked softly.

He saw the panic set in on Will’s face.

“Well, uhh,” He stammered. “I mean, it means like, mandatory, or implied—”

Mike promptly cut him off.

“I know. Like the draft.” Mike’s voice was low and steady. “But why name a painting of me that?”

“You weren’t supposed to s—”

“That's irrelevant.” Mike interjected. 

He just wasn’t able to hide his frustration anymore. 

Will stood up from the bench but Mike grabbed his wrist tightly and yanked him forcefully back down. His hand remained firmly in place as Will squirmed against him.

“Will.” Mike’s gritted out. 

Will tried to yank his arm away but Mike wouldn’t relinquish his grip.

“You’ve been lashing out at me since I got here. And it’s clearly not just from a lack of sleep. But keep telling yourself that.”

Will’s eyes shot directly to Mike’s. 

“Let go of me.”

“There used to be a time when we could tell each other anything…” Mike’s voice was strained now as he fought against Will's movements.

“Yeah, well, that was before.” Will spat out.

Mike’s grip tightened around his wrist.

“Before what?” 

Will sighed loudly and hung his head with his eyes closed. Mike could hear his heartbeat in his ears now.

He felt Will’s arm go limp in his hand. Mike slowly pulled away and folded his hands in his lap.

“I always had this idea in my head…” Will began. "I thought…I mean, there was always this…ease between us.”

Will was staring directly at Mike now, but he wasn’t crying anymore.

“An ease that I never had with anyone else. I mistook it for something more. I thought maybe there was a part of you…that might feel it too.”

Mike took a deep breath and held it in. He felt like he was floating outside of his body.

“And then El came along, and you two were sucking face every other second. I was happy for you, really, I was. Even if I didn’t always show it.” Will’s voice was barely above a whisper now.

“There was always a little part of me that thought that maybe you were with her because you thought you were supposed to be…” 

The gears in Mike’s mind had been slowly turning and attempting to fully process what Will was implying. Mike opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

That night in the woods…he had been looking for Will. He had been absolutely terrified of never seeing him again. And then El had sort of fallen into his lap. 

She gave him purpose, a reason to feel useful and like he was in control of what was happening to him. He got to be her protector, and help her when he couldn’t do anything for Will. She needed him.

But was that love?

“…Compulsory? Mike muttered.

“Yeah, exactly.” Will answered quietly, so softly that Mike could barely hear him.

He finally looked back at Mike and the intensity in his eyes was overwhelming.

Mike could hardly stand it.

He quickly looked down to the cement below them and picked at his fingernails.

“Like…when Lucas said you fell in love with El because she was the first girl that didn’t think you were gross.”

Mike’s eyes flew back up to Will’s. 

“I can’t believe you remember that...” 

Will looked like he was about to start crying again.

“I just thought maybe,” Will choked out. “…Maybe you’d eventually realize...”

More tears were brimming in the corners of his eyes as he continued.

“But then nothing happened. And you never dated anyone else, I figured you couldn’t move on. I never judged you for it, because part of me understood. I still do.”

It never felt right with anyone but you...

“I was just as devastated as you, when she left. I was angry, mad that the world would take someone so good away from us. Pissed that she never got to live a normal life.”

Will was crying freely now, but Mike stopped himself from reaching out to comfort him. 

“Eventually I got over you and focused my energy on my art and our friendship. And I’m so glad I did.”

A sour feeling settled into Mike’s stomach.

I really am too late.

He slowly dragged his eyes back up to look at Will. The glow of the setting sun was casting a pale, pink hue across his skin. A gentle breeze was blowing strands of his wild hair across his nose. 

“It never mattered to me that you didn’t feel the same way about me, Mike, because I would never…want it to get in the way of our friendship anyway…” 

Mike’s breath caught in his throat. 

He’s right. About everything.

“And now there’s a chance that El might be alive. And I love that for the both of you, I really do…I hope that she’s been out there this whole time.”

Will composed himself a bit and straightened his posture. 

Meanwhile, Mike found himself speechless.

“I hope you guys both get your happy ending together…” Will murmured a few seconds later.

That was the furthest thing from Mike wanted, but he couldn't bring himself to bear his soul when he already knew that Will didn't feel the same way anymore.

Mike felt a deep chasm forming in the middle of his chest. He felt like he was floating above his body, watching all of this happen to someone else. None of it felt real. He felt himself going into self-preservation mode.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, for me to draw you, I’ll stop.” Will muttered.

“No, please don’t.” Mike rasped out. 

He swallowed hard and tried to push everything beneath the surface, tried to dissociate from the tsunami that was about to overcome him. The realization that he wanted to be with Will and then being rejected all within the span of a few hours felt like some kind of cruel joke and had given him whiplash.

"I want you to keep drawing me."

Mike felt his resolve crumbling. He took a deep breath and tried to put the mask back on. The facade, that everything was fine and dandy and just peachy.

He was good at pretending, after all.

Maybe Mike had this coming. He wasn’t good enough for Will anyway, if he was truly being honest with himself. He deserved a hell of a lot better than a burgeoning degenerate alcoholic with anger issues. Will needed someone he could depend on, someone who had plans and a savings account, someone who already knew who they were and what they wanted. Someone...brave.

The opposite of who Mike really was.

He sighed again and folded his arms across his chest. He would have to process all of this later, when he could be alone.

There was one more thing, though. One more thing that he needs to get off his chest.

Mike figured he might as well lay all of his cards on the table, because what did he have to lose?

“I know that El never asked you to give me that painting.” He said with a satisfied smile.

Will eyes were the size of saucers.

“What?” He was incredulous.

“The one you gave me, in California." Mike stated. "I know that it was really from you.”

Will didn’t say anything for a minute. He kept opening and closing his mouth, like he was about to say something but then kept stopping himself.

“H..how…” Will was stumbling over his words. “Er, uh..how long have you known? Why didn’t you say anything until now?”

“I figured it out pretty quickly, I guess I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable? I figured you had a good reason for not telling me.”

Will looked back out to the water.

Mike felt like he was going to throw up, but he continued anyway.

“I knew if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me yourself.” Mike chewed on his bottom lip for a second. “And then later, after the radio station…when you...well, I understood why you lied about who it was from.”

There was silence between them for a moment, before Will finally spoke.

“Oh.”

His voice was barely audible.

He stared intently at Mike, but neither one of them said anything for a few minutes. The sound of the waves crashing on the pier nearby was the only thing keeping Mike grounded to reality.

"I wish you would have just told me it was from you." Mike said a few minutes later.

He tried to mask the sadness in his voice.

"I do, too."

How could Mike ever come back from this? How could he ever go back to the way things were before? Before he finally realized that what he’d been searching for was right in front of him the whole time?

I am so unbelievably stupid. 

“The best songs I’ve ever written have always been about you.” He blurted out.

He heard Will’s breath hitch in his throat.

“Nothing else even comes close.” He added softly.

Mike was staring deep into Will’s eyes as the words left his lips. He looked so beautiful like this, with soft eyelids and his lips slightly parted. Staring intently and hanging onto Mike’s every word. 

He wished he could freeze time for a while, to just sit here in this moment before they had to walk back into their bubble where everything had to change.

Also, Mike could really, really use a drink right now.

“Friends are supposed to inspire each other, right?” Mike added, almost whispering.

Will nodded at Mike slowly. His eyes were full of tears now, and he blinked them down. 

Mike couldn’t help himself. Against his better judgement, he reached up and brushed some of them away from Will’s cheek and let his hand linger on his face for a moment.

He stared deep into Will's eyes, unblinking, as he spoke.

“You’re my best friend, Will.” Mike could feel tears prickling at his own eyes now. “You always will be. Nothing will ever change that.”

Will slowly nodded his head. 

Best friends. 

It feels like a death sentence, but Mike will take what he can get.

"Oh, also." Mike was still staring deep into his eyes. "You can call me Michael. If you want."

A small smile spread across Will's lips. Mike wished he could lean in and kiss them.

"I'd actually like it...if you did...call me that." Mike felt this chest flush again.

"Okay." Will's voice was low and rough.

Slowly, Mike lowered his hand from Will's cheek and then he stood up. He turned and offered a hand to Will. 

“Let’s go, I need a beer. Like bad. Let’s stop somewhere on the way back.”

He helped Will to his feet and they both set off back towards his apartment.

Chapter Text

“Fuck.” 

Mike braced himself against the hard surface of a telephone pole. His face was pressed against a flyer for a missing orange tabby named Toodles, which was something that would normally depress the shit out of him for the next 3 weeks but he was way too drunk to care. 

He closed his eyes and felt the world swirl in circles around him. The sounds of the city nightlife were heating up again, Mike noticed how charged everything was beginning to feel again, just like the night before. 

“You good?” He heard Will’s voice behind him.

“Yeah, sorry. Just…a little woozy.”

“Here.” 

Will grabbed onto his shoulder and pressed Mike’s side into his own. He wrapped an arm around Mike’s midsection and then slowly began to lead him back down the street. 

“It’s not that much further. If you need to puke, aim over there.”

Mike closed his eyes and let Will lead them both down the sidewalk. Even through multiple layers, Mike could feel Will’s body heat seeping through to find his own. There was a sense of comfort and safety in allowing Will to take care of him for a change.

He was finding that he quite liked letting Will be in charge.

“Sorry, guess I didn’t eat enough today.”

“The five beers probably didn’t do you any favors either.” Will quipped.

Mike stopped in place for a moment and looked at Will. He shot him an exaggerated, dorky smile and slapped his palm against his knee.

“Hey, you know what? That’s like, really funny.” 

Mike stepped over to poke Will in the center of his chest. 

“You’re hilarious.”

Mike stuck his chin out and smiled down at him brightly, through almost closed eyelashes. 

“Ha ha ha.” Will said dryly. 

He grabbed back onto Mike and yanked him onward again.

“No, I mean it. Get this man to an open mic.”

Will groaned. “God, you’re unbearable.”

“Stat.” 

Mike was beaming now. He was really enjoying this.

“I hate you.”

“What if you got scouted and became the next Bill Murray?”

In an attempt to finally silence him, Will pinched Mike hard on his side, causing him to squeal out in pain. Somehow nobody around them was even paying them any attention, something that Mike knows would never happen in Chicago. 

“Dick.” Mike groaned.

He stumbled a bit and Will lunged to grab onto him, saving him from ramming into some scaffolding. He allowed himself to melt into the touch. 

I missed this.

“I’m glad I didn’t drink as much as you.” Will chided. “We’d never make it home.”

Mike was trying really hard to be respectful but it was difficult when Will kept putting his hands all over him like that. They never left Mike for too long, always encroaching, lending him a much needed hand whenever necessary. Mike was thankful for it, he’d surely be on the pavement by now otherwise.

“I forgot about drunk Mike.”

Mike smiled to himself and grabbed onto Will’s arm tightly.

“You missed him?”

There was actually a good reason he usually avoided drinking around Will — it was impossible to control himself. He had unfortunately forgotten about that until now.

“You could say that.” Will murmured quietly.

They walked past an apartment building stoop that was full of people. Mike heard one of them call something out, but he didn’t hear exactly what was said. Will’s demeanor changed instantly as he stepped in front of Mike and walked over to the group of guys.

“Let me handle this.” 

The seriousness in his voice startled Mike, jolted him back to reality. He watched as Will confronted the men. 

“The fuck’s your problem?” He growled out.

The words sent a wild thrill jolting through Mike’s spine. He steadied himself against a nearby pole and watched, slack-jawed, as Will straightened his posture and crossed his arms against his chest.

One of the men stood and walked down the stairs, stopping once he reached Will. He looked back and forth between Mike and Will.

The man sneered at Will and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Which one of you is the girl?” 

Mike saw a vein in Will’s neck twitch.

“Why? You interested?” He leaned in close to the man and shot him a wink, but the energy behind it was anything but playful. 

The other people on the stoop erupted in roaring waves of laughter at Will’s display, all rousing and rambunctious and excited at the situation in front of them. Mike, on the other hand, felt like everything around them was at a standstill. He felt like he was going to throw up, powerless to stop the terror that was unfolding in front of him. He knew that he should rush in and help but he could barely see straight right now. 

But honestly…it didn’t really look like Will needed any help.

Mike had never seen him act like this before. His shoulders were pressed tightly back, his chest out and his chin raised. There was a ripple of tension that would dance across his back muscles every few seconds, entrancing Mike’s attention. He could tell in that moment just how much Will’s physical form had changed over the last year. His arms were massive now, his body was broad and looming in comparison to the man in front of him.

Yeah, Will definitely didn’t need any help.

“Watch yourself, queer.” The man spat out.

Everything was moving in slow motion.

Mike heard a couple of the people gasp once the word left his mouth. 

One of them called out angrily. “What the hell?”

Another man stood and shouted at him. 

“Joey, get the fuck out of here.”

Just then, Will lurched forward and grabbed him by his collar and began to speak very calmly, directly into the man’s face. Mike could see tiny droplets of spit shoot out of Will’s mouth as he spoke.

“Stay…the fuck…out of my neighborhood.”

Mike was paralyzed, awe-struck and entranced at the version of Will that was emerging before his very eyes. He could hear the roar of blood flooding through his ears as he struggled to remain upright. 

When Will finally released his hands from the shirt, the guy scrambled backwards, stumbling and then falling completely to the ground. Will turned to look at one of the other men.

“Marshall, tell Joey if he ever comes back, I’ll beat the shit out of him.” 

But he was already scurrying off, hobbling quickly down the sidewalk. The man named Marshall stood and walked over and greeted Will, pulling him briefly in for a hug. 

“Sorry about that.” He shook his head at Will. “Nick’s cousin. Fucking asshole.”

Will turned to one of the men on the stoop and flashed him a dirty look.

“Sorry dude, I didn’t know he was going to say that kind of shit.”

Will’s eyes were dark, almost entirely black now. Mike’s hands were trembling, he shoved them in his pockets and tried to breathe through the adrenaline dump.

“Don’t bring him back.”

“You heard the man, Nick.” Marshall chimed in. “He’s not welcome at my place either.”

Will turned to Mike and gestured to the person in front of them.

“This is Marshall. He owns a gym here in the Village.” Will pointed to a building down the street. “I’ve mentioned him before, not sure if you remember.”

Mike nodded as he racked his brain. Even in his current state, he did vaguely remember Will mentioning “the gym guys" a few times offhandedly, although meeting them all now and seeing how vastly different this new group of friends looked from what he was picturing was sort of throwing him for a loop. Almost every single person was incredibly muscular, large in build and stature, but still diverse in a lot of other ways. 

They all introduced themselves to Mike. He felt that it was sort of intimidating to be meeting so many of Will’s friends at once, but he also felt so tipsy and wired right now that he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Yeah, I’m the reason he’s jacked like Arnold now.” Marshall reached out and punched Will’s shoulder, hard enough that he almost stumbled backwards. “We train together.”

Mike should give this man an award for helping to chisel out the greek god that stood beside him, because obviously the training was more than paying off. Marshall was incredibly fit himself of course, and was also astoundingly tall, somehow taller than even Mike. He had a kind face and dark skin and an accent that Mike couldn’t quite place.

He offered his hand out to the man.

“Mike. Nice to meet you.” 

Marshall gripped Mike’s hand firmly but then pulled him in for a hug.

“Ahh. The famous Mike Wheeler.”

Oh god. 

“We meet at last.” He finally released his arms from around Mike. “We hug around here. Sorry.”

Mike shoved his hands back in his pockets and moved to stand closer to Will.

“William here hasn’t shut up about you since we met. It’s nice to finally put a face with a name.”

Will talks about me?

Mike’s gaze snapped over to Will, who was beginning to look very uncomfortable.

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, but only good things. Don’t worry.” Marshall moved to sit back down on the stoop.

Will won’t shut up about me?

Marshall’s voice broke Mike’s concentration a second later. 

“Y’all should stop by the gym while you’re in town. Have Will show you around?” 

Will quickly answered before Mike could even think about a response. “Maybe, but we have a lot to get to before he goes home.”

Mike slowly nodded in agreement. A rush of warmth washed over him as he stared at his best friend and tried to hide his giddiness. Mike instinctively drew his hand up and rested it against his mouth, trying to hide himself in some way. Afraid to let anyone catch him grinning too hard.

“Yeah, thank you but I don’t know if we’ll have time.” Mike added nervously. “This trip was kind of a last-minute thing.”

Marshall nodded knowingly at Mike but kept glancing back and forth between the two of them.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us.”

Will nodded to him and then swept them both away again, off and down the street. The alcohol was making it hard for Mike to control himself, especially after seeing Will act in such an animalistic manor. Will had handled that asshole with ease, so sure of himself, a fortress and protector to Mike. 

The shift in their dynamic felt strange but exhilarating to Mike. He liked seeing Will handle things, and he liked it when Will handled him, too.

Mike’s skin felt like it was vibrating, humming with pent up energy and a million unspoken words that were lingering on his tongue. He really needed to think hard about what he wanted to say next, he didn’t trust himself in this state. He felt the adrenaline from that earlier encounter charging through his veins and wondered how it was that Will looked so calm. 

“That guy was a lunatic. Do people here normally…act like that?”

Mike swallowed hard. As flawlessly as Will had handled himself, it could have easily ended much differently if the circumstances were changed. It was a reminder of what was really at stake, for someone like Will. For someone who lived their life so honestly and openly, it came with a price. 

It was a startling reminder of what he’d have to go through himself, if he was ever able to find the courage to admit to anyone else what he was almost too scared to admit to himself.

I don’t think I could do what Will did.

“You’d be surprised.”

Maybe Mike should start lifting weights, too?

When Will finally spoke again, his voice was apprehensive. “Marshall is the reason I started working out.” 

Mike tightened his grip around Will’s arm, attempting to encourage him to continue. He felt Will’s body relax a bit against him.

“That gay bar we went to tonight—”

Mike’s breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever heard Will say that word out loud before. 

“I didn’t realize…” Mike interjected quietly.

“Oh, uh yeah. You didn’t notice?”

Mike scoffed. “No?”

Will narrowed his eyes at him. “Really?” 

“No.” Mike hissed. “Maybe I just don’t…notice things like that.”

“I know.”

“Shut up.”

Will shifted his grip on Mike and pulled him once again into motion, walking once again down the street.

“Well, that bar…I got the crap beat out of me there, once before—”

Mike stopped dead in his tracks again and tore his arm from around Will.

“What?” He spouted incredulously. “When?”

“Mike—” Will began, but Mike cut him off.

“Who was it, Will? Why didn’t you tell me? I’ll kill them.”

“Mike.” 

It sounded more like a command than anything else and it stopped Mike dead in his tracks.

He felt another violent thrill tear through his body. Will’s eyes pierced into his, dark and overpowering. 

“I didn’t tell you because they’re not a problem anymore.” Will said calmly.

Jesus Christ.

He’s so hot. 

Mike’s stomach did the little backflip thing, the thing that happens when you’re driving and you go over a hill really fast.

“Marshall was there that night, at the bar. He saw what happened and stepped in to help me. He trained me after, helped me learn how to defend myself. Taught me how to not take shit from anyone. We still workout together, a couple times a week. He became my friend over time, he also probably knows way too much about you…I talk about you a lot.“

An explosive rush of heat flooded through Mike’s chest. Will leaned in closer to Mike, his breath smelled sweet and sugary like peppermint and vanilla.

“Marshall is… like me.” Will said softly. “It’s why I go there. A lot of the people who work out there…are like me.”

“Oh.” 

Will had his own community of people here. Mike’s heart swelled with pride.

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s great.” Mike mumbled. “I uh, I’m happy that you have a place like that. And that you’re apparently a self-defense master now.”

Will’s expression finally softened as he rolled his eyes at Mike. He grabbed his arm and once again began to lead him back down the sidewalk, towards his apartment building.

“Come on tiger, let’s get going.”

It did make Mike ecstatic to know that Will had such a wide circle of support around him and a friend who could help him learn things about himself. Mike’s joy was overshadowed by the low, sting of jealousy that kept chipping away at him. Will and this guy had been spending multiple hours a week together, every week, for the last year. They had experienced unknown things together and Mike hated the way it filled him with disgust. He was envious of the person that knew Will in ways that he didn’t.

“Damn it.” Mike tripped over his feet and immediately landed into a person walking next to him. 

“Sorry.” Will mumbled to the person as he pulled Mike’s body back against his. 

“Better stay close.” 

Mike was sloshed but he knew he wasn’t imagining things. Those paintings of Mike didn’t lie, no matter how much Will tried to explain them away. The closeness, the looks that lasted longer than normal. Even if he didn’t love Mike anymore…there was a push and pull, a gentle ease and tug between them that often transcended words. He knew that those kinds of feelings don’t just disappear overnight. Mike was in love with his best friend and he would gladly spend the rest of his life showing Will just how much he cared about him, until his last dying breath maybe. If he could somehow prove to Will that he was worthy of so much more than anyone else was capable of giving him, maybe he would give him a chance.

Nobody could take care of Will in the same ways that Mike knew he could. No one would try harder to make him happy. And nobody knew Will quite like he did, knew his likes and dislikes and knew how he liked his hot dogs (ketchup with onions) or how he liked his coffee (with just a splash of cream.)

Mike knew that they fit together like two halves of a whole. He just needed to get Will to see it, too.

“Tag me in, coach.” Mike grumbled.

He heard Will chuckle beside him.

“I didn’t realize you were at ‘talk to yourself’ levels of drunk already.”

“Sorry.”

Mike recalled something Nancy had told him once, a long time ago. Something her therapist had told her. 

If I want things to change, I also have to change.

Mike steadied himself against Will’s body again, narrowly avoiding running into another group of pedestrians. Will’s hand snaked back around Mike’s back and grabbed him firmly at his hip, making contact with the bare skin there at the place where his sweater had ridden up.

Every finger tip felt like a small blaze and now Mike was deeply unwell. He was thinking of things that he shouldn’t, like how badly he wished to push Will into an alleyway and press his body up against a wall.

“God, you’re so strong now.” Mike declared loudly.

He squeezed his hand tightly around Will’s neck, causing his body to tense. Mike felt Will’s grip tighten against his waist. He slung his head over and rested it against Will’s shoulder as they walked side by side.

“I bet you could even carry me.” Mike’s words were breathless, almost a whisper.

He heard Will’s breath hitch in his throat.

When he finally spoke again, Will’s voice was low and tentative. “Why? You need me to?”

Mike rolled his head over into the crook of Will’s neck and slid in front of them, halting them both in place. He felt Will tremble against him when he slowly snaked his hands around his neck, burying both of them in the long tendrils of his hair. 

“What if I said yes?”

Mike shrieked as Will slid his hands down and wrapped them under Mike’s thighs, hoisting him up and into the air with seemingly no effort. Mike instinctively wrapped his legs around Will’s midsection, hooked his ankles and clung on for dear life, his face buried in the crease of Will’s neck. He felt Will’s body tense once more against him. 

“Holy shit.”

He tightened his hold around Will’s neck. Mike felt like his entire body was flushed all at once, he felt like he was swimming in a pool of magma. He could feel the sweat already pooling under his clothing.

“Want me to put you down?”

Mike tightened his grip. That was the last thing he wanted.

“Don’t.”

He felt Will chuckle against him.

“Okay.”

Mike closed his eyes and found himself smiling like an idiot, a secret smile just for himself that was buried against Will’s neck.

“So strong.” Mike spoke directly into the shell of his ear.

Mike felt Will’s breath hitch again and he felt like he was going to crumble beneath the pressure of how hard he was trying to hang onto his self-control.

It felt so easy, like maybe in a different universe, there was a version of the two of them that would be walking, just like this, down the street. They would be walking except they would be pausing at crosswalks to stare freely at each other, not thinking twice about lovingly pressing a kiss to the top of Will’s head as they walked. He’d be able to just slide his hand into Will’s back pocket or carry him just like this. 

He’d be able to tell Will, whisper directly into his ear, exactly how badly he needed him right now.

Will grunted. “This is actually working much better. Much faster. Only a few more blocks now.”

Mike nodded against him. If he was heavy, Will sure wasn’t letting it show. He’d barely broken a sweat.

“I can’t believe you jogged around for hours in jeans earlier.” Mike mumbled against Will’s skin.  “The more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s psychopathic.”

“It’s not like I did it on purpose.” Will murmured. “I just…started running.”

Mike felt a flash of guilt, for cornering Will earlier. For being the reason he felt like he had to run away.

“Running helps me think, and I needed to think.”

Mike finally pulled his head away to glance at Will and found himself faltering. Will stopped moving for a moment and gave Mike his undivided attention. He felt the grip below his thighs tighten and dig further into his flesh, which sent an unholy thrill straight through to Mike’s belly.

Instantly, he felt exposed. Like Will could see right through him, see through this playful facade straight down to the truth behind the booze and Mike’s actions.

If he was lucky, anyway.

God knows Mike couldn’t just say it out loud, even though he was drunk he didn’t have the nerve for that.

Mike blinked a few times and tried to focus his gaze and hoped and prayed that Will would be able to feel just how badly Mike needed him, underneath his layers of clothing. That way he didn’t have to say anything, his body could do all the talking for him.

He didn’t stop himself from reaching up and tucking a few loose strands of hair behind Will’s ear, didn’t look away from Will’s agonizing stare. He met it with fervor.

“Just don’t do it again.” Mike demanded. He felt Will’s body shudder against him. “Promise me.”

Will slowly nodded at him; Mike felt his fingers dig further into the flesh on the back of his thighs. Mike in turn danced his fingertips against the skin at the bottom of Will’s scalp, causing him to briefly close his eyes and lean into the touch. 

It all felt so intimate, so normal and even though they’re out on the street, even though he probably looked ridiculous being carried like this, Mike couldn’t find a single reason for any of that to matter to him right now.

Will slowly backed the two of them out of the way and up against the side of a nearby building.

“When you leave like that,” Mike paused for a moment and finally broke his gaze away, looking out to the street beside them. 

He watched the cars trickle slowly by as they got caught in the evening traffic. A group of road workers nearby were installing a traffic blockade and were attempting to fill a large pothole. 

Nobody was paying any attention to them. It made Mike feel bold.

“You decide for both of us that the conversation is over.”

“Mike…” Will’s voice sounded like a plea.

“It’s not fair. Stop doing that.” Mike finally looked back into Will’s eyes.

Will looked genuinely worried.

“I’m sorry…I…didn’t realize I hurt you.”

Mike swallowed hard and adjusted his grip so that he was now grabbing Will’s shoulders.

“Yeah, well…” Mike’s voice trailed off. 

Will broke the silence. “I’ve never seen this side of you before.”

Mike felt him reach up with one of his hands and slide it under Mike’s sweater, leaving it to rest gently against the tender skin at small of his back. His head was swimming, the roller coaster of emotions of the day and the alcohol were starting to wear on him. He closed his eyes and tried to bite down the nausea that was currently threatening to overcome him. 

“I’m trying to be more of an open book,” Mike muttered. “About how I feel…”

About some things, anyway.

“That’s great, Mike.” Will gently squeezed Mike’s thigh again as he spoke.

Mike felt like he was going to combust. 

They were close now, the front of their bodies now pressed firmly together as Will essentially held up Mike’s entire body with just one hand. The hand that was resting on his back now snaked up to Mike’s hair and gently pushed at his head, encouraging him to bury it back in Will’s neck. Mike happily obliged and tucked his face there, allowing himself to fully relax in Will’s arms. He felt Will’s grip tighten as he held him there, embracing him and gently rocking back and forth. 

After a moment, Mike shifted his legs to release himself from Will’s grip and Will gently placed him down back onto his feet. Mike felt the sidewalk swirling below him and felt like it might split open and swallow him whole. He reached up and grabbed onto Will’s shoulder to steady himself.

“I’ve been thinking about it and I’m the one that’s sorry.” Mike insisted. “It’s all my fault.”

He felt the moisture begin to pool in his eyes but he didn’t choke them down like he normally would. He allowed the tears to stream freely down his cheeks.

“You’ve had so much on your mind.” He grit out painfully. ”I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk to me. I should have given you space, instead of cornering you.”

Will looked almost amazed, as if he didn’t recognize the person in front of him. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” He reached out and pulled Mike into his arms.

“No, it’s really not.” Mike pulled away from him so that he could look back into his eyes, but Will’s grip around his body remained secure. “Even before, when we didn’t talk for months. I should have been there for you, but instead you were going through it all alone.”

Mike leaned forward and buried his face in Will’s neck again, letting himself completely fall apart in a way he had never done before in front of Will. He was sobbing now, letting himself come undone against the fabric of Will’s sweatshirt. Mike’s hands were wrapped fully around Will’s neck now, his hands buried again in his hair.

“I’ll never forgive myself.” Mike choked out.

One of Will’s hands moved up to rub patterns gently across Mike’s back. “Shhhh.”

“I promise, I’ll try harder.” Mike’s voice was barely intelligible, hard to make out through his sobs. “To be a good friend to you. Please forgive me?”

He felt Will rub at his back more and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to settle against Will’s shoulder. 

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

Mike took in a couple of deep, steadying breaths as he wiped away some of the mess that was emerging from his face. What he really needed was a tissue, but his sleeve would have to do. 

The truth was that being around Will gave Mike a reason to want to do better. To be as genuine and honest as he possibly could be. For the first time in his life, Mike knew what exactly he wanted. There was one person on earth that he longed for and he couldn’t keep himself from circling back to the idea that maybe it would help things if he made his own intentions clear…

Will had never been honest with Mike about his feelings. He had lied about the painting, lied about his intentions for years and Mike couldn’t stop wondering if maybe things could have ended up differently if it had been more clear, if Will had spelled it out to him much sooner?

He might change his mind in the morning, maybe this idea wouldn’t measure up in the sober light of day but for now it was sounding more and more appealing.

What harm was there in being brave?

“I really liked the paintings I found.” Mike blurted out a second later.

He steadied himself against Will’s shoulder, felt Will reach out and anchor him in place again with a hand placed firmly against his side. 

Will’s pupils were huge now.

“Really?” He said with disbelief.

How couldn’t I? 

The wind kept sweeping rogue strands of hair back into Will’s face. Mike moved his hand up to tuck another stray piece of shaggy hair behind his ear. Will slowly blinked his eyes at him, seemingly waiting for a response. 

My god, you are beautiful. 

“Yeah, definitely. Like…a lot.” Mike shifted between his feet. He replaced his hand on Will’s shoulder and felt the grip around Mike’s waist tighten. “The way you captured me, it was…powerful.

Will was speechless now. 

Mike began to gently guide him backwards, toward the abandoned store front beside them. Will followed his lead until his back was pressed all of the way up against the cool, tinted glass. Mike closed the space between them, ever-so-gently pressing his body up against Will’s until they were barely touching. He raised his arm above Will’s head to brace himself on the wall and looked down at him earnestly, with tears still glistening around his eyes. He didn’t care if Will saw him this vulnerable, in fact he wanted him to see it. He wanted him to see that Mike could be courageous too.

Will himself looked angelic, with pupils blown wide and a deep crimson flush in his cheeks. He had a confused look on his face as he squirmed against Mike.

“Mike, you’re drunk. You’re always like this when you drink. You don’t mean—”

“Yes, I do.”  Mike promptly cut him off.

He could tell Will was flustered, but it only spurred him on to act more brazenly. He leaned in even closer as he spoke.

“I was so flattered that…that you see me like that.” He leaned in closer to Will and finally pressed himself more firmly against him. He wasn’t trying to hide his attraction now, instead it was quite the opposite. He was showing it off, hoping and praying that Will would be able to feel, through their many layers of clothes, just how much he meant the words that were flowing out of his mouth.

“Can you do me a favor, though?” Mike whispered, almost directly into his ear. He felt Will tremble slightly beneath him. The air between them was charged, thick and heady in a way that made Mike feel even more intoxicated.

Will blinked at him a few times before he finally responded.

“Hmm?” Will hummed.

“Don’t hide them from me anymore. If you draw more…I wanna see them.” Mike’s voice was hoarse now, gravely and low as he spoke.

He shifted his hips again slightly and softly ground himself against Will. He preened when he heard a small, barely audible gasp escape Will’s lips.

There was no denying it now, it was obvious that Will was losing control too because he ground his hips back into Mikes just then, ever so slightly, and Mike could actually feel that Will was just as into this as he was. Proof of Will’s arousal, it wasn’t just some abstract thing anymore. Mike could quite literally, physically feel how strained Will was for him, beneath the layers of denim that separated them.

Please.

“Please.” Mike whined.

Will looked like he had seen a ghost.

“Okay, Michael.” Will’s hands tightened around Mike’s waist.

His heartbeat was thrumming in his chest, it felt like every nerve ending of his entire body was aflame, quietly vibrating in unison like a diesel engine. He knew the alcohol was the only reason Will was even indulging his escapades right now, he needed to center himself and come back to reality. He didn’t want to take advantage of the situation, no matter how thrilling it was. Will deserved better than that.

Mike had gotten the message across, anyway. If he didn’t stop things here, he might do something stupid like press his lips against Will’s and that was not something he was going to attempt right now. He told himself it was because he was worried he wouldn’t be able to stop once he got started, but deep down it was because he wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain if Will rejected him.

He needed to be tactful here, to pull himself together and not do anything stupid. He slowly backed away and released Will from his grip. 

Will looked almost crestfallen, seemingly disappointed at the loss of contact, which caused Mike’s ego to grow three sizes.

He shivered and crossed his arms against his chest. “Now that it’s dark, it’s getting cold.”

“Don’t worry, we’re almost there.” Will mumbled absentmindedly. He was staring at Mike’s lips.

Mike nodded at him and held out his arm to him.

“Shall we?”

Will paused for a moment and stared down at Mike’s hand, studying it intently. After a moment, he slowly reached out and linked his arm with Mike’s and then began to lead the both of them back down the street. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Mike spoke.

“Hey, Will?” 

“Yes.”

Mike licked at the dryness of his lips.

“I’m way too tired and drunk to do the float tonight.” 

He felt Will adjust the grip on his arm, his body was more rigid and tense now. 

Fuck. 

Maybe Mike’s actions had made him uncomfortable? Maybe he had been too forward?

He was so bad at this.

“We should start fresh tomorrow morning…with clear heads.” Will finally responded.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure Jonathan and Nancy won’t care.” Will added.

Mike’s eyes suddenly snapped to Will’s and all of the blood in his body rushed to his head.

“Oh my god.” 

Mike had a look of pure terror on his face. "We should have called, from the bar. It’s been hours. They’re going to be so pissed.”

Mike brought his hands up to his head and ran them both through his hair. Nancy was going to kill him.

But then, a tiny smile crept onto the corners of Will’s lips.

They both started laughing hysterically, with Mike doubling over in the street on himself. He nearly lost his balance and began to fall over, but Will hurried to grab onto him once more. 

“It’ll be fine. I think they were gonna make lasagna. It would probably be a good idea to get some food into you, huh?”

Will was nearly supporting all of Mike’s body weight at this point and it made him giddy, to feel weightless again, wishing Will would finally haul him up into the air once more so he could feel the the front of their bodies pressed together again. He wanted to be able to turn his brain off for a while, wanted to bury his face in the delicate skin of Will’s neck and chest and settle down there, to hide in there and live a lifetime and never emerge.

He was finding that he quite liked this version of Will, the version where he handled everything. He liked the type of person that would beat the shit out of someone who was rude to him. It excited him, to see Will handle himself so fluidly, so assuredly, and so calmly, too. He was completely in control of himself in a way that Mike admired. He liked this stronger version of Will, one where he could quite literally sweep Mike off of his feet. 

Shit, which is what Will also said he wanted from a partner.

Gotta carry him later, when I can stand up straight.

Mike was becoming hyper-aware of how well Will was caring for him tonight, now that their roles had sort of reversed. It felt foreign to Mike, seeing this side of him. It’s not that Will wasn’t nurturing before, he definitely would go out of his way to do things for Mike. But it had always been Mike that had been more overbearing in that aspect. He was almost annoyingly attuned to Will’s needs. 

It was sobering, in a way, to realize that he had been correct in his hypothesis from earlier that day. 

Mike was now more sure than ever of his feelings, so unbelievably steadfast in his conviction. 

I’m so in love with him.

Mike felt Will tighten his grip around him and it made Mike feel like he was going to melt into a soupy puddle in the middle of the sidewalk.

They were so close to being home, just a little bit further. A little bit further until he could sober himself up more and force himself back to reality before he did something regrettable or embarrassing. 

“Oh, speaking of food.” Mike said a minute later. “I hate to admit it but…New York-style pizza is so much better than Chicago-style.”

He felt Will chuckle beside him.

“You remembered my favorite flavor, when you ordered the pizza…” Mike turned to look at Will as he spoke.

Another way that Will had shown him that he cared. 

“How could I forget? It’s an abomination.” Will said. “It’s kind of hard to forget.”

“Um, rude.” Mike feigned indignation. “How much of an abomination could it be?…You literally ate it with me.”

Mike looked back down at the sidewalk in front of them.

“And?”

“So, you’re a hypocrite.”

“Maybe it’s grown on me.” There was a hint of mischief in Will’s voice.

“Hmmmm. Sorcerer, who once doubted the merits of the pepper-pepper-pineapple but now has seen the light. Changed forever, his path made clear once more by his faithful paladin.”

Mike broke away from Will and began to swing his hand around madly, as if he were holding a sword. 

“Quick, my lord. Get behind me. I will escort you the rest of the way safely.” He gestured at Will but lost his balance in the process. 

Will lunged forward and grabbed at him, saving Mike narrowly from face planting onto the sidewalk. They stopped for a moment and gathered their balance. Will’s breaths still smelled sweet; Mike tried to memorize the mossy patterns of his eyes as he took them in. Eventually, they kicked off and started onward again.

They passed by a barber shop that Mike recognized and he knew they were very close now.

“I’ve actually never had Chicago-style pizza before…” Will murmured a minute later.

“Oh?”

“Never been.” 

Mike turned again to look at Will and saw that he had a small smile on his lips. Mike swallowed hard.

“Well, I’ll have to change that.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes.” Mike’s tone was suddenly very serious. “After this, after we…figure this all out. Come stay with me, in Chicago. I’ll buy your ticket.”

They finally stopped and stood huddled together, in front of Will’s apartment building.

“I should have invited you a long time ago, I guess I just always figured you would be too busy.”

Mike snaked his hands up to Will’s biceps to steady himself. Will’s own hands found purchase on either side of Mike’s hips.

“Your roommates won’t care?” 

“What goes on in my bedroom is none of their business.”

He knew he should knock it off, but the look of amusement on Will’s face just further fueled his shamelessness.

“My bed is a bit smaller than yours, though.” He leaned in and raised an eyebrow. “I hope you won’t mind.”

Will just smiled at Mike and then finally, he slowly shook his head. 

“Mike!”

“There you are, good god.” Nancy’s voice rang out from above them. They both snapped their necks upwards to see the top half of her body, hanging partially out from their apartment window. “Do you have any idea what time it is? We’ve been waiting around for hours.”

Chapter Text

“Ice cream, anyone?” Nancy got up from the table and walked over to the freezer. “We picked up sherbet and chocolate.”

Mike shook his head.

“Nah, I’m good.”  

He got up and started to help clear the table, but Nancy quickly shooed him off.

“Go, sit over there and sober up.” She pointed at the couch across the room. 

Mike begrudgingly walked over and sat down, placing his palms on top of either of his knees. Nearby, Jonathan’s olive-green Fender Jazzmaster sat in its stand in a corner. Mike found himself staring at it longingly and wishing that he had thought to bring his own guitar with him to New York.

Will walked over and sat down next to Mike on the couch, close enough that their thighs were almost touching. He listened for a moment to Jonathan and Nancy having a lively conversation about her doctorate program and whether Jonathan would be moving to Berkeley with her when she left in the summer. 

Will caught Mike staring at the guitar and nodded at it. 

“Go ahead. He won’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Go for it.”

Mike got up and walked over to it and carefully picked it up. He reached down and switched on the tiny amp nearby and made sure it was turned most of the way down. He walked back over and sat down again, next to Will on the couch, and familiarized himself with the way the instrument felt in his hands. 

Letting his fingers dance around on the strings, he gingerly tested out the feel. He found that it was horrifically out of tune and dusty, but also similar to his own guitar back home in the way that it rested in his hands. After some minor adjustments, it would do just fine. 

He warmed up by playing a Jawbreaker songs and then moved onto the Butthole Surfers, which felt like the perfect background noise to Jonathan and Nancy’s chaotic argument behind them. At some point, Will had grabbed his sketchbook from the other room and was occupying himself by scrawling along on the pages. He had the book angled away in such a way that Mike wasn’t able to see what he was drawing, though.

Mike had somehow gotten through the first three songs of Rembrandt Pussyhorse before Will finally begged him to play something else. He knew exactly what to play next, the perfect song to to capture Will’s attention.

Mike strummed a few chords and watched as Will’s eyes snapped up. When the first verse began, Will loudly sang along with Mike, inhibitions lowered, clearly affected by the wine they’d just had with dinner. 

And it made Mike feel like he was soaring, high in the sky, to hear Will proudly sing along with his playing. Will's joy was infectious. It overwhelmed Mike to hear him sing about how he’d like to be his rain, his wind, his sunset. About how he’d like to be his home… his mirror.  Mike found it shocking, just how much more the song was affecting him now that he had more clarity about Will. It all had a new meaning, the feeling sunk into his skin and buried itself down deep in the pit of his stomach. All of the times they had listened to this song together, but no other occasion had ever made him feel as alive as he did right now.

Towards the end of the song, Mike heard Will’s voice falter slightly. It felt liket confirmation to that he must feel moved, too. Will had tears in his eyes when Mike looked at him next and by the time they finished, streaks were smeared down both of Mike’s cheeks, too.

They hadn’t realized it, but Jonathan and Nancy had quieted behind them, stopping to listen intently to Will and Mike as they sang to each other.

Once they had finished the song, Jonathan’s voice rang out a few seconds after. They both turned around slightly in their seats to look at him.

“I forgot to tell you, Will, but Anton was here earlier.”

Mike’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of the name.

“What?” Will spat out incredulously. “What the hell did he want?”

“Just looking for you, to talk I guess. He was really angry. Told him to leave or I would call the cops.” 

Mike glanced back over to Will and studied his expression intently. There was a look of concern that was creeping up through Will’s obvious frustration. Mike reached over and placed one of his hands across Will’s thigh, attempting to reassure him in some way without words, something that he did often enough.

But once again, this didn’t feel like their usual song and dance.  

Will’s gazed snapped down when Mike began to massage his thigh comfortingly, gently prodding it lovingly with the tip of his thumb. His other fingers gripped the inside of Will’s leg firmly, holding it in place. Mike felt his heart jump into his throat when Will’s gaze lingered down at his hand a little bit longer than what would probably be considered normal. Will’s eyes remained glued, even as he continued to speak to Jonathan, and Mike felt like he was going to make a fool of himself by sweating through his clothes soon.

“He doesn’t understand the meaning of the word ‘no.’” Will said flatly.

Will kept his eyes trained down at the place where Mike’s fingers were currently digging into the thick denim of his jeans. The alcohol was still affecting Mike, causing everything to look and feel as if it were moving slightly in slow motion. It was as if they were moving through tree sap, every movement languid and intentional as he offered more tender circles with his fingertips.

Nancy spoke next. “Maybe you should look into getting a restraining order? I could get you in to see one of our pro bono attorneys, down at the law center. They can file the paperwork for you.”

Will nodded his head as he finally looked up to meet Nancy’s gaze. Mike was still watching him closely, observing every subtle change in his facial expression or hitching of his breath. Mike’s gaze snapped back down to the place where his hand was gripping onto his thigh when he felt Will’s hand settle gently on top of his own. 

There were those damn hoofbeats again. That familiar heat settling deep into his belly. Every point of contact on his skin already felt like it was on fire. 

He should go take a cold shower.

“Why can’t he just fuck off already?” Mike said a minute later. 

He heard Jonathan laugh under his breath behind them. 

“If he comes back, just call the emergency line.” 

Mike began to rub Will’s thigh again absentmindedly while he processed. Both he and Will’s eyes wandered back to meet each other once more. Will wasn’t saying anything, but the expression on his face was telling enough.

It was bad enough that Will already had so much on his plate, with the dreams and voices and unanswered questions about El, about the possibility of something more sinister creeping around every corner. The last thing he needed was to be dealing with some asshole who had overstayed his welcome.

Mike chimed in loudly, but his eyes never left Will’s as he spoke. “If he comes back, he’ll have a lot more to worry about than just the cops.” 

“Mike…” Nancy began, “Don’t be an idiot, okay? Sober up, get some rest, and we’ll tackle all of this together, tomorrow.”

When Jonathan walked over towards them, Mike made no effort to remove his grasp from Will’s thigh, nor did Will remove his hand from on top of Mike’s. Jonathan’s eyes lingered at Will’s thigh, at the place where their two hands were still stacked neatly on top of one another, and then he furrowed his brow.

“We’re gonna head out.” He gestured down at Will.

Will slowly removed his hand from its perch on top of Mikes and then he too, begrudgingly, removed his hand from Will’s leg. Will stood and then Jonathan threw his arms around his waist and pulled him in tight for a hug.

Nancy continued speaking to Mike from across the room.

“Jonathan is going to stay over at my place again tonight, I need to finish up my laundry. We’re heading out now. Just call us in the morning, when you’re both ready.”

Will carefully poured the rest of the bottle of cabernet into his wine glass. Mike watched as he lifted the cup to his lips and took another long sip. He studied the way the red liquid stained his bottom lip and held his breath when Will stuck the tip of his tongue out to lick it off.

“I would shoot your stupid ex-boyfriend into a different solar system if I could.”

The tiny smile that Will gave him made his heart do a backflip.

“I just wish he would move on and leave me alone.”

“Why do you think he isn't?”

Will sighed loudly and crossed his leg in front of him, squirming in his seat.

“I think he assumes I’m going to change my mind." Will replied quietly. "That one day I’ll call him up and invite him over again and everything will go back to the way it used to be. Back before…”

Will’s voice trailed off, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to finish that sentence.

“Before what?”

“Never mind.”

“Will…”

He took a long gulp of wine out of his glass before he continued.

“Before he…proposed to me.”

What? 

“Proposed?”

As in marriage? Could the two of them even get married?

It’s as if Will can read his mind because he added, “It wouldn’t be legal, probably just something like a commitment ceremony but—”

Mike’s lack of impulse control caused him to cut Will off. “You didn’t want that?”

“Not with him. Plus, I'm still so young. There's so much I still want to do...”

“I see.” Mike swallowed hard. 

He looked down at his hands and began to pick at the skin around his fingernails and thought hard about what to say next. His brain was beginning to feel all swirly, as if it were being stirred with a wooden spoon. He probably shouldn’t have had any more to drink but Will hardly ever indulged, and he certainly couldn’t let him drink alone.

“Start dating again,” Mike began slowly, "Maybe if he sees you with someone else, he’ll finally get the hint?”

Mike hoped Will was too distracted to notice how eager he probably seemed right now. 

“No way.” Will answered immediately.

“Why?”

“That would just piss him off even more. And besides…I’ve decided to not date for a while.”

“Why?”

Will was quiet for a minute before he finally responded. “I should probably just be alone for a while.”

Mike nodded his head and leaned back in his seat. 

He knew Will wasn’t doing it for him, it’s not like Will was saving himself for Mike or something, but it still stroked his ego nonetheless. He was secretly thrilled at the idea of not having to share Will with anyone else, no idiot boyfriends to worry about mistreating him. No one to disappoint him. He loved the idea of Will not wasting any of himself, his feelings or thoughts or artistic talents, on anyone who wasn't worth his time.

He didn't want there to be paintings of anyone but him.

My god. The paintings.

“Wait. Has half the Village has seen me in my underwear? At the coffee shop?” 

Will sighed loudly as he set his glass back down onto the coffee table. “Can you not?”

“I think I deserve to know.”

Mike’s wine glass was empty now and warmth had settled down onto him like a wool blanket. They were sitting even closer now, each unable to deny the pull that was always tethering them together, each of their bodies subconsciously always seeking out the other, like leaves forever growing upwards and towards the sun. 

The shift had been casual, a gradual thing that had escalated over time, but now that Mike was aware of it, it was the only thing he could think about.

Does he feel this, too?

“No, Mike. Of course not. I’m not completely insane.” Will tipped his head back and rested it against the back of the couch. “Obviously there are some that I…don’t show off in public.”

Will stared up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. Mike couldn’t tell if he was blushing anymore because Will’s entire face was already pink. He reached over and poked him on the shoulder, causing Will to look back over. 

“Obviously.” Mike repeated back cooly. 

He shot Will a wink and stood up to walk over to the kitchen and noticed that the tips of Will’s ears were now bright red.

“Yep.”

Mike smiled to himself as he opened the fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine. He walked back over and plopped himself back on the couch, this time even closer.

“Like the one of you on your knees?”

Will immediately leaned forward and groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I swear to god I’m going to push you off the roof.”

Mike reached over and pinched Will's thigh, hard, causing him to jolt up in his seat.

"Ouch."

“You love me too much to push me off the roof.”

Will’s body tensed as soon as the words left Mike’s mouth, but he kept his eyes pressed firmly against his palms.

“Hey…I’m sorry.” Mike reached over and placed a hand on Will’s shoulder. “I’m just giving you a hard time.” 

Mike slid his hand from Will’s shoulder around to his back and began rub gentle circles between his two shoulder blades. He couldn’t believe just how firm and rigid he felt now, how expansive and angular his back was. Mike felt like he was suffocating, barely able to restrain himself from wandering his hands to other places. After a minute of his ministrations, Mike felt Will finally relax beside him. 

“I’m just glad Julie hasn’t seen me in my underwear.”

Will slowly raised his head up and turned slightly to look at Mike. There was a ghost of a smile on his lips, his eyes were glassy and half-lidded. He nibbled on his bottom lip in that way that was driving Mike crazy lately, and kept it pressed between his teeth for a few seconds before he finally spoke.

“Well…” His voiced trailed off and now he was the one to shoot a wink back. It took Mike completely by surprise, but he knew that he couldn’t let Will outdo him now. 

“Will.” Mike replied sternly. He stilled his hand and grabbed a handful of the back of Will’s shirt into his fist.

He saw Will’s left eyebrow twitch but only slightly. Maybe it was the drinks or the weight of the day that was causing him to act with reckless abandon but he just couldn’t stop himself now that he was having so much fun.

“Hey, I said I never displayed them publicly. You never asked if I had shown other people.”

Mike’s hand released the fabric and snaked up the back of Will’s t-shirt and settled into the shaggy ends of his hair. He allowed his fingers to reach out and gently caress the base of Will's skull, digging through the soft waves to make contact with his scalp. He leaned in a bit closer so that he was speaking only a few inches away from Will’s ear.

“That's not good.” He said darkly and with one swift movement, Mike grabbed a large handful of the hair at the base of Will’s skull and pulled it into his fist. 

Will’s head settled into a new position, with his chin jutting slightly up towards the ceiling. He tried to look over at Mike through hooded eyes, a look that was full of confusion but also intrigue and wonder and something close to astonishment. Will’s entire body tensed against Mike’s touch as he gently yanked on the handful of hair again, attempting to elicit a response.

“I…ungh…Michael…” Will's body shuddered. Mike tightened his grip again and he actually felt like he was going to pass out when he heard Will whimper quietly against him. He wished Will always said his name like that.

He likes this, too.

Will’s pupils will huge now, full blown and focused solely on Mike’s lips. 

“I wonder how you're going to make it up to me.” Mike said sweetly, unable to contain the giddiness he felt at the situation unfolding between them. Every passing second was a second closer to something that now felt inevitable.

Mike leaned further over and placed his free hand on the other side of Will’s face, forcing him to  better meet his gaze.

“Maybe you’ll let me keep one of them? Eh?”

Will’s mouth was hanging slightly open now, there was a slight glisten of sweat beginning to accumulate on his forehead. The tip of his nose was a brighter shade of pink now than the rest of his face. Mike leaned in further and let his breath fan across Will’s cheeks.

“Will you?”

Will swallowed hard, Mike stared at his mouth.

“She’s single, you know?” Will whispered. “Jules…”

Mike immediately frowned and quickly pulled his hands away from Will and leaned away from him. The words made him sick to his stomach as soon as they left his mouth.

He was trying to compose himself but his heartbeat was still pounding in his ears. He didn’t understand what Will wanted at all. Julie was the last person he wanted to be thinking about right now. 

“I thought her name was Julie?”

“She goes by Jules.”

“Well, I’m not interested either way.” Mike replied dryly. 

Why did he keep giving Mike so many mixed signals? How was he supposed to know if it was okay to put himself out there if Will was constantly keeping him at arm’s length? 

“No?”

“Not even a little bit.”

Will began to nod slowly, the bright flush of his nose was starting to retreat.

“She’s very nice but she can be a bit…abrasive? I think.” Will said quietly.

He is so confusing.

“Yeah, no shit.”

Will scoffed. “Don’t be rude Mike, she means well.”

“I’m sure she does. But she’s seen too much, so she’s my enemy now.”

Mike settled his body down into the couch and leaned the side of his body against Will’s.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Maybe, but you love it.” Mike retorted.

“Like that matters.”

Mike leaned his head over onto Will’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He felt Will tilt his head over to lean against him and then he was finally able to fully relax. He listened to the both of them breathe for a little while, and found his eyelids were beginning to feel quite heavy. The places where their skin met was still sweltering, their shared heat pooling and melding.

"You said you were happy I was here earlier." Mike stared down at the place where their legs were pressed together. "You can't take it back now."

He was trying hard to pay attention to Will’s cues but they were both so drunk that he wasn’t sure. He wanted to keep going, to keep pushing the boundaries of what Will would allow him to get away with, but he also didn’t want to make Will uncomfortable. He didn’t want to push too far and ruin things between them, but in his current state, he was having a hard time seeing the downsides to Will finally knowing how he felt about him. 

He needed to be careful, to tread lightly, which was difficult, given how invincible the wine was making him feel.

“First the painting of the party, back in Lenora.” Mike began quietly. “And now, all of those new ones. I suppose that means I’ve been your muse for a long time, huh?”

Will scoffed into his wine glass before taking another drink.

“Shut up.”

Mike reached his hand over and captured Will’s against his palm, thankful that he didn’t have to look him directly in the eye, fearful that he would be able to see just how desperate Mike was right now. It was getting harder and harder to think or even breathe. He should really go and take that shower.

Will’s voice was low when he broke the silence. “Whenever we’re back together, it just feels…”

Mike chimed in. “Like this is the whole point?” 

“Yeah.” He felt Will take another drink beside him. “Exactly.”

Both of them sat up in their seats and turned to look at the front door when they heard the lock begin to jiggle.

“Jon probably forgot something.”

Neither of them moved from the couch but kept their eyes glued to the door. After a few seconds of fumbling, the door finally swung open, except it wasn’t Jonathan standing on the other side. 

Mike had only ever seen photos of him, they had never met in person but he recognized him immediately. 

It was Anton. 

Mike’s brain went completely empty, it took him a couple of seconds to register what was happening, but once he found his bearings, he sprang into action. Without thinking, he jumped up and made his way over to the door, pushing Will back down onto the couch in the process. 

“Stay here.” He barked. 

Mike dashed to the man and pushed him back out and into the hallway, standing in the doorway to block him from entering again. Now that he was meeting him in person, Anton seemed way less intimidating than he had imagined. Unlike Mike, he was quite short in stature and had the most ridiculous mustache Mike had ever seen. The man’s eyes were bloodshot and watery, as if he had also been drinking earlier that night.

“Give me the key. Now.” Mike grit out. “ And then fuck off.”

“Well, well. Look who it is.” Anton’s cheeks were ruddy, his eyes piercing, as he spoke. “The guy he told me not to worry about.”

“Well maybe you should have worried.”

Behind him, Mike heard Will’s voice ring out. “Anton, you need to leave. Right now.”

Mike stepped forward, edging the man further out into the hallway. “You heard him. Get the fuck out of here. And leave the key.”

Mike could feel Will standing right behind him now.

“I’m not leaving until I talk to you.” Anton gestured at Will. “Alone.”

Mike interjected before Will could respond. “Yeah, that’s not happening.” 

“Yeah?” Anton spat back defiantly.

Will’s voice was lower now, more composed than Mike’s. “Anything you have to say, you can say in front of him.” 

The man in front of them sighed loudly and then reached up to run a hand through his hair. He looked absolutely livid.

“Why did you stop returning my calls?” He glanced from Will to Mike and then back to Will. “Oh, right.”

“I stopped answering your calls because we broke up.” Will stated plainly.

The hardened expression on Anton’s face softened slightly, and then he tried to step forward, over the threshold and into the apartment towards Will. Mike shifted his body so that he was completely blocking his path.

Mike crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Not happening. You can stay out there.” 

Anton sighed and then began to wring his hands together, seemingly losing his nerve.

“Every time I would try to get close to you, you would slip through my fingers.” He started to pace around in front of them. “You were always a million miles away, Will…”

The man rung his hands together in front of him as tears began to streak down his cheeks.

"The drawings? You telling me constantly that he's just your best friend any time I felt insecure. You couldn't even wait a full month after our breakup before you invited him to stay with you."

"I can come here whenever I damn well please." Mike stepped forward but he felt Will reach forward and place a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back inside the apartment.

"I guess I was right all along." Anton stilled and turned to face them, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He made no efforts to wipe the tears that were spilling out of his eyes.

“I told you this wasn’t serious," Will recalled, "And then two weeks later, you asked me to marry you and move to freaking Minnesota.”

“Because I’m in love with you, Will.” He stepped forward, but Mike quickly pushed him backwards again.

“Anton,” Will began slowly. He was staring into the man’s eyes. “I can’t…give you what you’re looking for.” 

Will tore his eyes away from the man and stared down at his feet. “I hope you find the right person. But it's not me.”

Anton looked completely crestfallen now, devastated and crumbling right in front of them. Mike almost felt sorry for him…almost. The man began to fumble with his keys until he had removed one of them.

Will stepped forward, past Mike, and reached out to him. “Anton, I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t.” He grit out as took a step backwards. “Just…don’t.”

He threw Will’s apartment key at their feet. He turned around quickly and marched down the hallway, towards the exit stairwell.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Mike settled next to Will in his bed. They were both propped up against the pillows, on top of the comforter.

“Yeah. I had been avoiding him, but it needed to happen. I’m just sorry you got caught in the middle.” Will’s shoulders were slumped slightly.

“Trust me, I wanted to be.”

Mike leaned his head over again and rested it on Will’s shoulder. Both of them sank further into the bed.

“Thank you for…protecting me.”

Mike hummed against his shoulder. “Well, it’s basically my job.”

“I mean, it’s literally not.” Will took a sip of his wine. “But okay.”

Mike sat up and turned his body towards Will, assuming a serious expression on his face.

“Well, as your champion, your warrior, I think—“

“Shut up.” Will reached out and placed a finger against Mike’s lips, attempting to still them.

It lingered there for a moment before he retreated and placed his hand back in his lap. Mike’s eyes wandered towards Will’s lips for the millionth time today and he studied them carefully. He noticed the dry, cracked skin there and remembered that he had just the remedy for this.

Mike stood and walked over to his duffel bag and pulled out the brown paper bag that Nancy had given him earlier. He walked back over and handed the bag to Will. 

“This is for you. I had Nancy get a couple things earlier, while they went out.”

Mike continued to talk as Will rifled through the bag. 

“Okay, so the first thing is chapstick.”

Will’s eyes went wide.

“How did you know I needed this? We didn’t even talk about it…”

Because all I do is stare at your mouth.

“Intuition, I guess.”

Will wasted no time and immediately tore off the wrapping and opened it up, sliding it gingerly across his lips. Mike watched him closely and relished in knowing that he had helped Will in some way. Doing these things for him, providing value to his life, filled Mike up in a way he just didn’t experience with anyone or anything else. 

He loved taking care of Will. It felt like his purpose sometimes. The only thing that made sense.

“The second thing in there is a thicker sweater. Because I promised.”

Will’s hands found the knitted material and pulled it partially out of the bag. “Is this your way of telling me I’m not getting that one back?”

Will gestured to the yellow sweater that Mike was still wearing.

“Oh no. You’re on to me.”

Will laughed and looked down at the material in his hands.

“It looks better on you now, anyway.” Will said quietly. He was smiling brightly now as he looked back up at Mike. “Keep it.”

Will pulled the sweater the rest of the way out of the paper bag and held it up to his body. 

Nancy had done a good job picking it out, it sure was a beautiful specimen. An artisan knitted wool navy blue jumper, Mike wasn’t even sure where she had found something so nice on such short notice but he could tell just by looking at it that it would be a much, much warmer option for Will. No more being cold, no more fears about what lied ahead of them in the bathtub. His promise had been kept.

Will tossed it over his head and slowly slid it on. Mike held his breath. He hadn’t been sure about the sizing. What if this one was too small too?

Will walked over to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room. Mike watched him as he admired himself in it. It was a perfect fit, almost as if it had been tailored specifically to fit his body.

“Guess you need to size up now.”

Mike admired the way the material stretched against Will’s wide shoulders in the back but tried to keep his gaze from lingering too long.

“Yeah.” Will said absentmindedly as he studied himself in the mirror. “The only bad thing about working out, I guess.”

Will walked back over to Mike and sat down next to him on the bed again.

“It’s…blue.” Will said quietly.

“Yeah, well I figured…” Mike’s voice trailed off. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “I told her to get blue, because I figured it was your favorite color now.” 

He motioned around the room and then down at the bedspread beneath them.

“It’s everywhere now. I kind of took the hint.”

A smile spread across Will’s mouth and he began to laugh quietly to himself.

“What? Was I wrong?” Mike tried to study his expression. “We can go exchange it if you want.”

“No, no Mike. It’s perfect.”

“Then what’s so funny?”

“It’s just…I guess I always pick blue things lately…well, when you aren’t around I pick blue because blue has always reminded me of you.”

They were staring directly into each other’s eyes now.

Huh?

“Your room is blue, our entire lives, you always pick blue. Blue bicycle, blue paint in your bedroom. I just always associate blue with you.”

Mike’s addled brain was beginning to feel like Swiss cheese. He didn’t understand anything about Will anymore. There were so many mixed signals but on paper, everything was pointing towards him harboring some of the same feelings for Mike that Mike did for him. 

If that was the case, then why did he keep giving Mike whiplash?

Will looked down to Mike’s chest and let his gaze settle there for a minute.

“I…think I like seeing you in my clothes.” Will reached up and allowed one of his fingers to trail down the front of Mike’s chest, down the surface of the yellow sweater, until it stopped near his belly button.

Mike felt like he was going to erupt in flames. 

“Uh, wine.” He choked out. “I’ll go get the other bottle of wine.”

He darted up and out of the room and hurried to the kitchen. When he arrived, he began pacing around like a mad man.

He was so confused. He wanted to be respectful and respect Will’s wishes but why was Will giving him so many goddamn mixed signals? 

He’s a flirt when he drinks, Mike had forgotten just how bad. Or maybe he misremembered?

There was one bottle of wine left, he grabbed it and made his way back to the room. The hallway felt like it were a mile long, with every step leading him back into something unknown. 

He gathered himself and took a deep breath in right as he walked back over the threshold. Will had moved, he was in the corner now but he was in his boxer shorts. Just his boxer shorts.

Mike’s mouth was suddenly very dry.

He could hardly believe Will was the same person. His once small frame had been replaced with impressive muscle tone and definition, so many new chiseled edges and hardened corners and expansive skin. His skin was taut and so smooth and creamy, something Mike wished he had more time to memorize before it was covered up again.

“Oh, hey, I figured I would get changed for bed.” The low tone of his voice sent chills down Mike’s spine. “It’s hot in here, don’t you think?”

Mike nodded slowly. He walked over to the dresser and set the bottle of wine on top of it. Then, he walked over to the window and cracked it slightly, feeling a nice cold burst of wind snap through the tiny opening.

Mike tried next to distract himself by rummaging around his bag. He pulled out the same baggy Beatles t-shirt from the night before. He needed to preserve at least a shred of decency, to control himself. He couldn’t run the risk of that much bare skin coming in contact with Will’s, not when they were both already so intoxicated. He slowly peeled his clothing off, so that he was now just in his boxers. He threw the t-shirt over his head but decided to stay in his boxers, like Will. 

When he finally turned around, Will had already settled into the bed but was now nestled under the comforter. He had grabbed the bottle of wine and had just removed the top. 

“Want some?”

“Definitely.”

Mike walked over to the bed and climbed in. He took the bottle from Will. 

“I don’t normally drink this much.” Will muttered a few minutes later. “Special occasion though, right?”

“Exactly. It’s not every day I’m in town.”

“I’m going to apologize in advance in case I do something embarrassing.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure it’ll happen.”

After several more minutes of conversation, the last of the bottle had been finished and Mike felt like his limbs were tied to cement blocks. He laid back in the bed and settled against the pillows, focusing on the warm sensations that were overcoming him.

Mike smiled to himself. “We could play truth or dare.”

“I’m not drunk enough for that.”

“That’s fair.” Mike muttered.

“Wanna listen to music?”

Mike nodded, he noticed that Will’s speech was slightly slurring now. He watched Will walk over to his walkman and pick it up. 

“I’m too lazy to move the stereo in here. So we’re gonna use this.”

He walked back over to the bed and huddled close to Mike. 

“Here.” 

He handed him the other side of the headphones and pressed play. Mike listened as the first track played and he immediately recognized it as that same mixtape, from their childhood many years ago. 

Will motioned at Mike to lean back against the pillows and they laid down together, bodies and heads pressed close so that they could both listen. Mike stared up at the ceiling and let the music settle into his skin, tried to ignore the heat that was growing from the places where their skin was squeezed together.

He glanced down quickly to take in the sight of their bodies together, laid atop the comforter. His eyes scanned Will’s taut torso before coming to rest on something entirely foreign to Mike.

“Wait, what’s…that?”

Mike sat up and pointed at Will’s lower abdomen, on the right side. 

“Is that…a tattoo?” 

Will quickly grabbed at the blanket and pulled it up over his body.

“It’s nothing.”

“You got a tattoo and didn’t tell me?” Mike was pawing at the blankets now, trying to move them out of the way. “Come on, you gotta show me.”

Will rolled his eyes and finally relented, allowing Mike to shift the comforter away from his body. 

There it was, in fancy script, right above Will’s right hip bone.

Crazy Together. 

The wine must be getting to his head because Mike felt like time had stood still. 

He knew exactly what it meant.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” His voice trailed off as he studied the words carefully.

“It was years ago.”

“Years?” Mike’s voice was strained.

“I was eighteen.” Will said quietly. “I had just moved here. And I missed you.”

“Oh my god.” Mike fell backwards, onto the pillows and started back up at the ceiling. “What a betrayal. Do you have any others?”

“No.”

Mike sighed and reached up to rest both of his hands under his neck.

“I need a minute.”

And he wasn’t lying, he really did need a minute. 

Will got a tattoo for me? How could I be so blind?

“You’re so melodramatic.”

Of course he wants this too. He’s been waiting on me to catch up.

“And you’re drunk.” Mike concluded. “God. I’m so mad at you. We should've gotten it together.”

“You still can.” Will offered. “Get the same one, I mean.”

Mike closed his eyes and smiled to himself.

“But it won’t be as cool now.”

“Then we’ll get something else.”

Mike shifted uncomfortably in place, still feeling like the heat of the room and conversation and alcohol was going to consume him.

“You were right, it’s sweltering in here.”

“Go open the window more.”

Mike stood from the bed and walked over and hoisted the window the rest of the way up. 

Feeling bolder now, he spontaneously decided to throw his own shirt off too. In one fluid motion, he pulled it off his body and discarded it onto the floor, next to Will’s pile of dirty clothes.

A gust of air from outside rushed in and glided against his skin, sending a wild thrill up his spine. He looked back at Will laying there, nearly naked, waiting for him to return, and the sight alone was enough to make him fall to his knees and thank whatever god or deity that was allowing this to happen.

He quickly joined Will back in bed, but he didn’t lay back down immediately. He positioned his body over Will and looked down at him with wonder. His hair was sprawled out on the pillows below, fanning out wildly around him. Mike’s body had almost entirely obscured the light, casting deep shadows over Will’s face. 

Mike’s voice came out low and rough. “You look so pretty.”

“What?”

“I said,” He reached down and brushed a few loose strands of hair away from Will’s face. “You look pretty. So beautiful.”

Will wrinkled his brows.

“My beautiful boy…”

Mike leaned down, lowering himself closer to Will’s face.

“Michael…”

“I’ve always thought that, you know?”

Will’s eyes widened a bit as Mike continued to shift forward.

“Ever since we were kids…” Mike reached down and slowly tucked the last few strands of Will’s hair behind his ear. “But now, your long hair, the fact that you also look like a greek statue. Lucky me.”

“You’re just drunk.”

Mike placed one hand on the center of Will’s chest and leaned down closer to his face. His breath was fanning across Will’s cheeks now, their bodies now gently touching one another.

“So?” Mike said defiantly.

“So, you don’t mean any of this.”

Mike’s couldn’t decide where to settle his eyes, instead finding himself looking back and forth between Will’s beautiful olive eyes or his full, round lips.

When he finally spoke again, his voice was gravely and low. “That’s not even close to being true.”

“Mike…”

Just then, he surged forward and smashed his lips against Will’s, leaving every apprehension and uncertainty in the wind. Mike felt years of pent up energy, of unspoken words and promises begin to come flooding out of him, the dam was breaking in a major way that Mike knew he wouldn’t be able to come back from. He didn’t wait for a response, didn’t wait to see if Will would kiss him back before his hands found either side of Will’s face, gripping it tenderly against his own. 

Finally, agonizingly, Mike felt Will return his efforts as he pushed himself upwards, pressing deep into Mike’s grasp. Will tasted like happiness and sunshine and wine and cherry chapstick and for a second it felt like they had ascended to another dimension together, with how powerful and whole he felt in this moment.

Their lips were skating over each other, met with the perfect amount of heat and passion and wetness. Mike greedily sucked Will’s lower lip up into his mouth and held it in between his teeth, nibbling on it gently. Will responded by whining softly, the sound sending a wave of pleasure through Mike’s entire body.

He moaned into Will’s mouth when he felt hands snake up around his body and grab at his shoulders. They gripped into Mike’s skin with an almost punishing amount of force, with fingertips that threatened to mark him, to claim him for good. He felt Will’s body respond in turn, as his hips bucked up and into Mikes as soon as the sound left Mike’s lips.

It felt like every moment in his life had led up to this point, that all of the uncertainty, all of the strife he had felt about his life before now had all been for a perfectly good reason — to lead him right here, exactly where he was meant to be. 

He needed to be closer, to meld their bodies together. Instinctively he swung his legs around so that he was straddling either side of Will’s hips and then pressed the entire front of his body against him. Will’s hands moved to hold on to either side of Mike’s hips and gripped each tightly, as if he were afraid that Mike would disappear at any moment. Mike ground his hips down into Will’s and keened at the moan that escaped his lips, relishing in the feeling of Will’s hot breath mixing with his own.

But then, before Mike could fully settle into what was happening between them, before he had even come close to satiating his need for Will’s touch, it was over.

“Fuck.” Mike groaned as Will jumped out of the bed.

He watched as Will scrambled over towards the door and out into the hallway, but was a little shocked when Will didn’t run away. Instead, he stood at the entrance, with his arms holding onto either side of the doorway.

He watched the heaving of Will’s chest as he stood hunched over, gripping onto the door frame as if he were afraid he was going to float away. When Mike looked down at Will’s torso, he felt a fire bloom in his chest when he saw the outline of Will’s perfect anatomy, standing at perfect attention, just beneath the thin layer of his boxers there.

Mike’s own breathing was erratic, the echos of which were ringing out into the silent room. The quiet that was stretching between them was deafening.

Their eyes finally found each other and the look on Will’s face nearly knocked the wind out of Mike. He looked absolutely feral, completely gone, with something dark and needy in his eyes that Mike didn’t recognize.

“Will—“

But he quickly interjected. “I should sleep in Jonathan’s room.”

"Okay.” Mike said quietly, shifting so that he was now sitting up fully. He felt an ache growing in his chest.

“I promise I’m not running away.”

“I know.”

Will’s eyes were wet and glittering now. “I just need some space.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight Mike.”

“Goodnight.”

What the fuck?

Chapter Text

Mike, 

Went for a run. I’ll make us breakfast when I get back. 

Love, Will

Mike picked up the sheet of lined paper and read it again, for the seventy-fifth time, trying to see if there were any further meanings or words hidden somewhere in between the lines on the page.

He repeated the words over and over in his head.

Love, Will.

Love.

He set the paper back down on the counter and began to pace around the kitchen. The coffee pot nearby was bubbling and gurgling, the smell of the fresh pot filled the air. It was the only thing keeping Mike tethered to his body. He walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, burying his head in his hands, attempting to block out the light. He groaned and rubbed at his temples, wishing he knew where to look for some ibuprofen for the growing pain in his head.

Mike dialed Nancy’s number on Will’s phone and waited as the line rang and rang, but there was no answer. He left a message letting them know that they could head over soon so that they could get to the task at hand. He was anxious to just get it over with, so they could move onto whatever was next. He hated not knowing what the hell was going to happen next.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and walked over to the window across the room and stared down at the city below. The view was beginning to feel familiar, which made Mike’s heart ache, because he wasn't sure when he'd be able to come back and he definitely wasn't ready to think about going back home. 

What the actual fuck happened last night?

Nothing was making sense. Things had been perfect, things were building up all night up until the very end when his hopes and dreams were ripped away from him. The two had covered so much ground, had talked for hours and Will had given Mike so many signs, signals that they wanted the same thing. It had all made sense up until the part where Will was running away like Mike was repulsive. 

It was beginning to make him feel insane, but he knew that it wasn't just all in his head. He was also worried that he had ruined something, by kissing him. What if things were different now? What if Mike had something unforgivable?

Love, Will.

Maybe not entirely unforgivable?

Everything is so confusing.

He had kind of been wondering lately if he was asexual, which was a term he had only recently encountered in a sociology class back at DePaul. Maybe Mike was one of those people that wasn’t meant to be with anyone else? Even with El, it was exciting at the time because it was all so new and uncharted, but their kissing never escalated past anything more than harmless typical teenage make out sessions. 

And then there were the traumatizing failed hookups after her, the emptiness he had felt when he walked alone back to his apartment afterwards. It had all felt like an obligation, something he was supposed to do, but he had never really thought about whether he wanted to. And once he did, he stopped trying altogether. It all seemed like a bigger hassle than what it was worth. He had found a way to be content with just having friendships, resigning himself to a life that was full in different ways that weren’t romantic. 

Was it possible for someone to only be attracted to one person?

Because last night, those few fleeting minutes where he had finally tasted Will’s lips, felt his breath panting up close, felt his warmth sprawled out underneath him, pinned under the weight of him, Will holding onto his hips and thighs as if he were afraid Mike would vanish. That feeling Mike had experienced, of knowing a deep, carnal desire and also feeling that desired. It was like being born all over again, like he had found all of the missing parts of himself, there in Will's bed.

He couldn’t stop replaying it in his head. The blistering heat that overwhelmed him wherever their skin met. The way the hard, toned planes of Will’s body felt beneath his urgent palms and fingertips. The gentle moans that had escaped his lips straight into Mikes mouth, whenever he would slot and grind their hips together. 

In many ways, Mike could survive off of the memories of that one night alone, they could sustain him for an eternity…but at the same time, it still wasn’t nearly enough. Something had been awakened inside him; everything had clicked into place. Now, he wanted more, no he needed more. 

Mike had never seen that version of Will before, it was a depth that was completely new. He found it exhilarating, to know that even after nearly twenty years of friendship that there were still new versions of his best friend for Mike to discover. He would forever remember that overwhelming look of hope plastered across Will’s face, the disbelief that had shone through his dark and consuming gaze. It had knocked the wind right out of him and all he could think about was whether or not he'd ever be able to see it again.

Mike knew how correct, how inevitable it had felt. He had hoped that Will had felt it, too. But as much as Mike wanted this, as much as he knew exactly what he needed now, it wasn’t just up to him to decide. It made him sick to his stomach.

Last night, Will had said that he wanted to be alone for a while, to be single and by himself. Was it insensitive of Mike to keep pursuing him if Will kept running in the opposite direction? It felt like he was being selfish by putting his own wants and desires before everything else.

It didn’t even really bother Mike, though. He couldn’t bring himself to feel even a shred of ire or regret for the five minutes of heaven that he had been privileged enough to experience. Because it had provided him with so much more lucidity. He understood his purpose now, where he was meant to be. It had been right in front of him the entire time, prickling at his subconscious, but he had been too blind, too afraid to see it. 

Love, Will.

It was Will. 

Just, Will. In any capacity he’d allow Mike to have him, actually. 

The Han Solo to his Leia Organa. The Johnny Cash to his June Carter. Will was just like heaven to Mike and anything else would never be enough.

Mike removed his palms from his eyes and allowed his vision to adjust to the light. He stood and walked back over to the fridge. He pulled out a few items — eggs, bacon, some veggies, cheese.

Besides being hungover, Mike was still massively sleep deprived and feeling a tiny bit deranged. He needed several cups of coffee as soon as humanly possible if there was any chance of him being useful today. He had had terrible sleep alone in Will’s bed and had strange dreams, which was a rarity because he didn’t usually remember much about his dreams after he’d been drinking.

The float was supposed to be happening today, regardless of what happened last night or how hungover he might be. There was a promise he had pledged, to help Will figure things out, and he wasn’t going to break it for any reason. They were both adults, Mike had come a long way in terms of learning to express himself, even if it wasn’t always easy. He was still learning. They should be able to talk about this, get on the same page somehow. 

He was busy slicing up an onion when he heard the front door to the apartment swing open. 

“Hey.” Will murmured as he locked the door behind him. 

“Morning.” Mike paused his chopping and offered him a timid smile. “I’m making breakfast.”

Will smiled back at Mike, a smirk so tiny he almost missed it.

“Hey, I wanted to cook for you, jerk. Not the other way around.” Will walked over to the counter and set down two cups of to-go coffee, from that same goddamn shop that kept coming back to haunt him. “Jules says hi by the way. And she wanted me to ask you what color underwear you were wearing today.”

“Ha ha ha.” Mike said dryly. “Hilarious. Again, Mr. Comedian over here. They're yellow by the way. Look, Will I—"

“No. Just, let me go first?” Will sounded desperate. "Please?"

Mike gestured to the table across the room, grabbing the coffees before heading over after him. They sat next to each other and Mike began to fidget with his hands in his lap, underneath the table. 

“Look, about last night,” Will began slowly. “I…I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have had so much to drink, I knew it was a bad idea. I actually don't remember everything that happened, it's kinda fuzzy, but I do remember…”

Will’s mouth hung open for a second, a look of unease was plastered across his face. Mike watched the panic creep into his eyes and decided to offer a small mercy.

“We made out.” Mike finished his sentence. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but internally, his brain was a vortex.

“Right, yes.” Will shifted uncomfortably in his seat and laced his fingers together in his lap. "We made out."

“Will, it’s—"

But he quickly cut Mike off again. “Let me finish, please? I don’t want to lose my train of thought.” 

There was a look of determination mixed with dread on his face now. Mike took in a deep breath and studied Will's bottom lip, noticing how much more hydrated the skin there was due to the lip balm from the day before.

God, I wish I could kiss you again right now.

Mike nodded at Will slowly, reaching out to search for his hand underneath the table. He gripped on tightly and began to massage circles info the soft flesh of his palm.

“Yesterday was…a lot for me. Seeing you for the first time in basically a year, after dealing with these episodes, I haven’t been able to sleep at all lately. And then you found the artwork, our fight afterwards, and then the shit with Anton.”

Mike simply nodded at him and continued to reassure him through the tiny patterns he traced against his skin.

“I was just overwhelmed. I wanted to decompress but I took it too far, I drank way too much. I took advantage of the situation and I am just…sick about it. I would never be able to forgive myself if I ruined this, Mike.”

He could see moisture begin to pool in Will’s eyes.

“You are the only thing that makes sense in my life. I would never, ever want to ruin anything by…crossing those lines, you know?”

Mike nodded slowly and continued to rub at Will’s hand steadily, gently, trying to alleviate any of the suffering he was feeling, until he could feel Will’s tension begin to dissipate. Internally, though, Mike was the opposite of calm. All he was feeling right now was turmoil and confusion. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, while he decided how to respond.

Mike wanted to scream. He wanted to spend the next two hours explaining, in immense detail, all of the ways in which last night wasn’t Will’s fault, and that it wasn’t a mistake. That being together was worth all the risk in the world because this connection between them was the only thing that mattered.

Mike couldn't help but feel the same way he did that day at the radio station, when Will had rejected him, had reduced any feelings he had for Mike in the past down to a silly childhood crush. 

His heart began to sink. He didn’t like the shame that bubbled beneath Will’s words. He sounded regretful. What had happened last night should feel the opposite of shameful; it killed him that Will didn’t seem to feel the same way. Maybe he was giving Mike an out, by downplaying it? Because the insane part of Mike’s brain was telling him to get down on his hands and knees and beg Will to give him a chance. To double down and cast himself at Will’s feet like a tiny pebble, to fully surrender himself to whatever Will would be willing to give him.

But he couldn’t stand the thought of Will rejecting him, or of risking not having Will in his life at all, if he decided he didn't want to be Mike's friend anymore.

Will had also said that he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now anyway, let alone whether he’d actually want one with Mike at all. It was obvious that Will had enough on his plate without having to throw the ramifications of whatever the fuck this was on top of it. 

Even if Will wasn’t ready to be with anyone at this exact moment, Mike would happily wait on his hands and knees, throw himself at the altar of William, pine for him for the rest of his life if that’s how long it took for Will to give him a chance. He would have to learn to be patient. Realistically, he had the rest of his life to figure this out, right? Which, barring a freak accident, would hopefully be decades of time. He obviously hoped it wouldn't take that long, but even it did. He was ready to be all in.

Maybe it was Mike’s turn to let Will catch up…? Because Mike was certain now, that there was undeniable something there. Will had been in love with him once, he was sure of it now. Even if it didn't happen right away, maybe Will would be ready to jump in with both feet someday, too?

“I’m sorry, too.” Mike said finally, after enough time had passed that he was sure Will had finished. “I shouldn’t have gotten wasted either. I shouldn't have drank at the bar earlier either. Lots of bad decisions all around. Red wine is the devil.”

Will let out a weak laugh, still somewhat refusing to meet Mike's gaze. “Definitely.”

Mike had felt a level of peace and clarity that he hadn’t felt in maybe his entire life, it was like everything about himself had clicked into place and it all made so much sense now. He finally felt like Michael. Like his true self, for the first time ever. He needed to say whatever he possibly could to reassure Will that he had no intention of going anywhere any time soon.

He tightened the grip he had on Will’s hand. “Nothing is ruined. Nothing will ever be ruined. There is nothing you could ever say or do that would ever…change the way I feel about you, Will.”

Mike felt Will's fingers tense in his hand. 

“Unless you decided to kill me. But that’s only because I would be dead, and thus rendered incapable of feeling anything. Not because you're a murderer.”

Will groaned and finally turned his eyes to Mike. “Oh my god.”

“Sorry." He released Will's hand momentarily to wipe the sweat from his palms on the front of his jeans. "Damn it, I’m trying to be sincere, I swear. Fuck, let me think…”

Mike studied his eyes, trying to find the nerve to say what needed to be said, but found it difficult to articulate everything in a way that wouldn’t send Will tearing ass in the opposite direction. 

“I guess...uh, what I'm trying to say is that there will never be a time where you won’t have me, Will. I've said this before, but the only way that’s ever going to happen is…is if it’s your decision.”

Will’s eyes fluttered closed and a slight frown spread across his face. Mike felt his hand finally relax in his own. When Will finally responded, his voice was weary and there was a slight sparkle in his eyes, from the tears that had not yet fallen from his eyes.

“Ditto.” Was all Will could seem to muster.

Mike watched as a single drop stream down the side of his cheek. He released his grasp from Will’s hands under the table and reached up to brush it away with the pad of his thumb. Will’s eyes fluttered open to find the corner’s of Mike’s lips beginning to creep up. 

"Then we have each other forever." Mike asked sweetly, leaning in closer towards him. "Problem solved."

Mike’s hand lingered on his cheek before he finally lowered it back to his lap. “You’re also a really good kisser, by the way.”

Will whined loudly and recoiled in his seat. “Michael. Jesus.”

“What?”

“Can you ever be serious for more than five seconds at a time?”

Mike scoffed. “That was so more than five seconds.”

“I hope you know that I can’t stand you." Will leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the table in front of them, turning his head slightly so that he could still look over at Mike. He sighed loudly.

Mike pressed his lips together in a tight smile and crossed his arms against his chest. “Some might say that my inability to be serious is a defense mechanism."

“You don't say?” Will replied with a tiny grin. 

Mike felt relief flood in, to know that they were going to be okay. He felt hopeful about the future, something he'd never really been able to say before. All was right in the world again, when Mike was able to make Will smile like that. 

He stared at Will’s lips and felt like his limbs were turning into mushy guacamole, felt like every inch of his skin was vibrating. He would be respectful, of course, but he would happily be waiting in the wings, ready to sweep Will off of his feet whenever he was ready, both literally and metaphorically.

They stared at each other for a minute, neither saying anything, both clearly having too much on their minds. 

Mike was now thinking about the day that lie ahead of them, the uncertainty of what they would find in the bathtub. He was 95% sure that it would actually be El, he had convinced himself of the fact. It was easy to believe, especially when the alternatives were far worse.

The quiet stretched thin around them, and Mike’s stomach dropped when he saw Will's smile fall slightly.

“I…had another one last night, in Jonathan’s room." He said quietly. "And again this morning. It’s happening more frequently now.”

“Will.” Mike said sternly. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

“Because I wanted to talk about the other stuff first.”

Mike scooted his chair closer to Will’s, close enough so that their arms were touching. “Your wellbeing is the most important thing, it's the whole reason I'm here. What happened exactly? Are you okay?”

Will finally broke their eye contact and stared off into the distance, looking towards the morning light that was filtering through the window across the room. Mike watched as he took a few deep breaths. 

“Both times were the same, actually.” Will took in another breath before continuing. “It was just El, screaming my name. At the top of her lungs.”

Mike’s eyes widened. “Jesus. That sounds…like a lot. Do you feel okay?”

“I think so? I barely slept, though. And I have the worst hangover I've probably ever had. I think I just need this all to be over.”

Both of them were too wrapped up in their conversation to hear Jonathan sliding his key into the lock or the door swing open a second later. 

“Here, this is the last of it.”

Mike took the sack of epsom salt from Jonathan and tore open the perforation along the top.

Jonathan chewed on his bottom lip. “Do you think this is going to be enough?”

“Definitely." Mike cleared his throat. "I’ve done this a bunch of times before, for this amount of water…it’ll definitely be enough.”

Mike tipped the bag over and carefully emptied it contents into the bathtub below him, spreading it around. Once the sack was also empty, he reached down and stirred the water around with his hand, attempting to dissolve the tiny crystals. He dried his hands on one of the towels that were layered across the tile floor.

“Water is a good temp, too.”

Jonathan nodded at Mike. “Alright. I’ll go get him.”

He exited the bathroom and then Mike was alone, for the first time since his talk with Will. He tried to compartmentalize, to put a pin in the swarm of emotions that was lingering in the back of his mind. 

He lit a single candle and then sat down on the edge of the tub, taking a moment to stare down absentmindedly at his bare feet. He was a ball of nerves, his stomach uneasy, thinking that maybe the omelet he had made for breakfast wasn't the best idea.

A few minutes later, Jonathan returned with Will and Nancy, each with a somber look across their face. For each of them, this all felt too familiar and also very foreign at the same time. It had been so many years since any of them had been in a situation like this, the weight of which was not lost on any of them.

“Here, let me help.” Mike stepped over towards Will and held his arm out.

Will stepped forward into the water, steadying himself against Mike’s body as he climbed into the bathtub. Mike would normally be very distracted by the tiny inseam of Will’s jogging shorts but he knew that he needed to stay focused. 

Jonathan and Nancy watched as Mike helped Will lower himself into the warm water and slowly submerge himself until he was floating freely on his back, holding his head above the water.

“Does it feel okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” Will answered quietly.

“How about the goggles? Are they uncomfortable?"

“They’re okay, I’ll manage.” He pulled them back up to the top of his head so that they could look at each other.

Well, if at any point things get to be too—"

Jonathan loudly interjected. “Dude, why are you talking like that?”

Mike’s eyes snapped over to him.

“Like what?” He asked defensively, a frown immediately crowding his lips.

Nancy chimed in loudly. “Oh, that’s just his Will voice.”

Mike’s cheeks were immediately burning, he watched a slight smirk began to spread across Jonathan’s lips.  

"Shut up, Nancy." Mike grit out.

"His 'Will' voice?” Jonathan asked, a little too gleefully for Mike’s liking.

He puffed his chin out and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I have no idea what you're talking about.” 

Will looked very amused, which was the only thing giving Mike solace right now. He watched as Will laughed to himself. “No offense, but you kind of totally do, Mike.”

He leaned down and flicked the top of Will’s head.

“Not helping, asshole.”

“I think it’s nice, personally.” Nancy settled herself on the floor in the corner with a notebook and pen in her hands. “I mean, do you ever hear him be that sweet to anyone else ever?”

“Enough.” Mike wanted to eject himself out of this apartment and directly into the sun. “Can we just…get this show on the road already?”

“He’s right. We need to focus.” Jonathan said, turning to look down at Will. “You ready?”

Will nodded and replaced the goggles back over his eyes. Mike switched off the lights moved to have a seat on the tile floor, next to the tub near Will’s head. He watched him as he acclimated and found a comfortable position, allowing his head to loll back into the water. The candle light flickered and Mike watched the shadows that danced across the walls.

After a few minutes of silence, Mike heard Will’s soft voice.

“What am I supposed to be doing exactly?”

Mike leaned over the side of the tub, closer to Will's face.

“I guess you could try calling out to her? We’ll be as quiet as possible so you can focus on trying to listen. Remember, anything you see or hear…just shout it out and Nancy'll write it all down.”

“Right. Okay.” 

Mike reached over and placed one of his hands in the center of Will’s chest.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re all going to be right here, just try and relax and clear your mind.”

Mike withdrew his hand and Will drew in a huge breath and exhaled slowly, rolling his head back slightly. 

He continued on like that, calling out El’s name every once in a while, for several more minutes. Until eventually when Mike heard a tiny gasp escape his tight lips. 

“Mike…” Will sounded pained. 

He frantically reached over and found Will’s hand, gripping it tightly.

“Oh?” Will said apprehensively. “Oh. Oh my god.”

Mike’s pulse was racing in his ears. “What? Is it her?”

“Shut up.” Nancy snapped at him, causing Mike's jaw to snap shut.

“You’re…here?” Will said weakly.

Suddenly, the lights in the hallway begin to flicker on and off a few times, they could feel a surge of electricity shoot through the wiring of their building.

"Will, are you okay?" Mike could no longer hide just how worried he was. "Please, Will. Talk to me."

Mike watched him as his head began to nod slowly. 

Will's breath hitched in his throat. "...El?"

He tightened the grip he had on Mike's hand and it felt like he might start to lose circulation soon, but Mike worked to hide his discomfort.

"She's...alive? It's her. Oh my god. El."

Will began to sob hysterically, his shoulders shuddering and creating small waves in the water outward and over the edge of the bathtub. Mike moved to sit on the side of the tub so he could be closer and leaned his body over the side of the tub, practically into the water alongside Will. Most of his shirt was completely soaked now but he didn't care.

"Are you sure it's her?" Mike asked directly into Will's ear, hoping he could hear him over his tears.

Will hiccuped slightly. "I think so..."

“Can you ask her, tell her to tell you something only I would know.” 

Will does and it takes a few more seconds for him to finally relay her answer.

“She says to tell you that…that she got to write her own ending. To not feel guilty anymore.”

A huge, racking sob tore through Mike as he doubled over and wrapped his arms around himself, almost as if had been mortally injured. He bit his bottom lip hard, trying to stifle his cries and compose himself. He needed to be strong for Will but he was failing miserably.

Another surge of electricity shot through their apartment, making the lights burn brightly off and on for several seconds.

“She wants me to tell you that she’s sorry, she doesn’t have much time." Will's voice was calmer now, less distressed. "She's saying she’s out of practice.”

Mike heard Nancy let out a small laugh behind him as she scribbled at the pages.

“El, I’m so happy.” Will said quietly, the tension in his jaw retreating. “I can’t believe you’re okay.”

Mike leaned over and spoke softly into Will’s ear. “Can you ask her where she is?” 

A small smile began to spread across Will’s lips. “Can we come see you?”

There were a few seconds of silence and then Will spoke again. 

“Sweden, she’s in Stockholm. She wants us to meet her somewhere. A pub, called…oh god. El, you're going to have to spell that for me.” Will paused. “Okay, it’s W-I-R-S-T-R-O-M-S.”

Nancy continued to put all of the information down in her notebook as Will repeated the details back to them. 

“Got it.” Nancy said a second later. 

“She said it’s in the middle of Stockholm, on an island.”

Mike’s brain was swimming, he felt like he had been teleported into the English Channel and dropped into the icy January waters.

El is actually alive.

“She said she loves us both." Will was practically bouncing by this point. "Yes, okay. We’ll talk and figure something out. Can you give me a phone number, so we don’t…yeah, exactly. Okay, go ahead.”

Nancy readied her pen again and wrote the digits down as Will repeated them back. 

“We love you, too. Goodbye, El.”

Will remained in the water, now motionless. A small trail of blood began to flow out of his left nostril and the lights began to flicker with a greater frequency. Mike reached forward and placed a hand across Will’s chest again. 

“Are you okay?” He choked out.

Will’s face began to wince, his brow tightened across his forehead and he began to thrash his arms around in the water. Mike immediately jumped over the side of the tub and hoisted him up out and into his arms, bridal style, and pulled him close against his body. He immediately turned to run out of the bathroom. Will’s body was rigid and shaking slightly in his arms as he pushed past Jonathan and Nancy and out into the hallway and into Will room. He made his way in and carefully placed him down onto the bed, on top of the blankets. 

He looked so frail there, curled up in soaking wet clothes, shivering from the exposure to the cool air outside the cozy trapped heat of the bathroom. Mike slid into bed and pressed his entire body against Will's, holding onto his form from behind. He snaked his hand around to grab onto his waist and tried to somehow telepathically pass the heat from his own body into Will's as quickly as possible. Mike nestled his face into the space between his shoulder blades and whispered anything he could think of that might help calm Will down. He pressed the side of his cheek to Will's back and closed his eyes.

“Shhhh, you’re okay. Everything is okay.” 

Jonathan and Nancy entered the room not long after they were settled. 

“Is he okay?” Jonathan ran over and kneeled next to the bed. “Will, are you okay? What happened?”

Will was basically catatonic at his point, with shivers still coming and going but decreasing in severity. Mike's body heat seemed to be working to warm him up, but he should really try and get Will  to change out of his wet clothes. 

“I think he’s just overwhelmed." Mike finally said. "I’m going to lay here with him. Maybe we should give him some time?”

Will grabbed onto Mike’s hand and pulled it into the center of his chest and began to sob against the skin on the back of his palm. Jonathan stared at Mike and studied them both for a second, with a melancholy look growing on his face.

“Fine, okay. I’ll come back to check on him in a little bit.” Jonathan reached forward and rubbed the back on Will’s head. “I love you. I’m here for you. We’re all here for you. We’ll figure this out, together.”

Jonathan stood and walked back into the hallway. Will’s head was still buried in he and Mike’s hands, Mike absentmindedly pressed a kiss in between his shoulder blades, forgetting momentarily that he probably shouldn't be doing things like that. Will didn't seem to mind at all, something that only further drove Mike to give him a few more. 

He hated feeling like this, like Will was going through something that he was powerless to fix. It reminded him way too much of when they were kids. Of the time when he saw them pull Will's body out of the quarry. He knew it wasn't actually Will now, but his brain repeatedly forced him to dream about that day over and over again. The fear, the pain and anguish of losing his best friend, seeing them pull his lifeless form out of the water. All of those feelings came rushing back to Mike, whenever he had these dreams. 

Another reason alcohol had recently become his best friend. Maybe if they could figure this all out and out it behind them, then Mike (and his brain) could finally move on.

Mike tightened his grip around Will and continued to press light kisses into his back until he felt Will finally begin to melt against him. He relaxed his body and and sank down further into the mattress, pressing back against Mike. He shifted in place and snuggled his body down so that they were now perfectly slotted together, pressed together fully from head to toe.

Mike was trying as hard as he could to bury his own feelings in this moment, to be there for Will, but he was barely hanging onto a thread. El is alive and she’s in Sweden?

After several more minutes of this, eventually, Will’s cries faded to silent tears and soon after, those stopped too. Mike waited patiently for Will, he would let him be the first to speak, whenever he was ready. After a few more minutes of Mike silently nuzzling his nose against Will’s back, he finally spoke.

“She’s…alive.”

Mike cleared his throat. “Yeah. She is.”

“How do you feel about it?”

Mike hummed. “Hm. I feel like I should be the one asking you that.”

“I’m okay. I don’t know what happened, I guess just…a rush of so many emotions, all at once? Feeling that connection to her again, but it was different this time. Maybe because Henry is dead. I don’t know…”

“I can’t even imagine.” Mike closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re okay? Can I do anything for you?”

“Yes, I’m okay. You didn’t tell me though,” Mike felt Will swallow hard. “How do you feel about it? About…El?”

“Oh, well…um, I guess I feel okay about it.” Mike stated, but realized Will deserved a better explanation. “No, actually. I feel pretty weird about it. Because I feel so much relief at knowing she’s okay, but it's also…”

Mike’s voice cracked as his own emotions threatened to overcome him. Will must have been able to sense his apprehension because he quickly shifted to turn himself around, spinning in bed so that he was now facing Mike, laying side by side. Mike’s arm found its way to Will’s hip and pulled him close, enough that their knees were brushing.

Will’s eyes were red and swollen, he reached up to rub at them with one of his hands. He looked so beautiful even still, with his puffy cheeks and salty, damp hair. Mike could see the worry on his face. He had just gone through something so intense and exhausting, he was soaking wet and emotionally drained, but instead he was worried about…Mike?

“I just wonder why it took her so long to reach out to us?” Mike’s hand tightened onto Will as he continued. “She knew we would be suffering, thinking she was gone forever. This whole time I’ve thought that I picked the song that counted down to her death. I have felt so…responsible for what happened to her. Don’t you think it’s kind of fucked?”

Mike bit down on his lower lip hard and tried to keep himself from breaking down, but his resolve was crumbling. 

Will moved his head in, so that his forehead was pressed against Mike’s chest, along with his palms that were pressed there too. Mike leaned down to bury his nose in the hair on the top of Will’s head, tightening his grip to pull their bodies even closer together.

Will’s voice was muffled when he spoke. “I think you’re allowed to feel that way, and it’s understandable…”

“But?”

“But…you and I both know El. You know that she absolutely must have had a good reason, for waiting this long.”

Mike closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing, counting each breath in for four seconds, then holding it for four seconds, and then out for four seconds. 

He felt Will press a tiny kiss against his sternum and had to restrain himself from rolling them over and pinning Will against the bed. As focused as he was trying to be...the proximity to Will, the closeness and their skin being pressed together was too much of a reminder of the previous night. 

Mike replied quietly, his nose pressed firmly against the top of Will's head. “I guess so.” 

He wondered if Will could hear just how effective his reassurances were to Mike, through the steadying of his heartbeat in his chest.

“We need to go see her." Will concluded. "Like as soon as possible. I wonder how long a flight to Sweden is?”

“Good thing I brought my passport, for the train on the way here.” Mike shifted his body back so he could look into Will's eyes.

“You think we’ll be able to leave that quickly?" Will asked quietly. "Don’t you have to go home and make arrangements or anything?”

“No. We should go…as soon as we possibly can." Mike paused for a moment. "What about you?”

“I want to go, yes obviously. I can drop everything, it doesn’t even matter…”

Mike exhaled deeply and tried to study Will's expression. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

Will nodded and kept his eyes on Mike, narrowing his eyebrows slightly. Still, he remained silent. 

"What?"

Will shook his head slightly and shifted back to a neutral expression. "Nothing."

Mike tugged at him to pull his head back against his chest and Will didn't resist. He nestled against Mike let out a long, deep breath.

“Do you wanna get changed?" Mike asked against the top of Will's head. "We should probably go talk to them soon.”

The rest of his sentence hung in the air, unspoken. So we can figure out what the hell to do next.

“Sure, yeah. Just…maybe a few more minutes of this…it's is really nice.”

Mike hummed against Will’s head, letting his eyes flutter closed. “It really is.”

It wasn’t exactly how he wanted things to be, he’d much rather be kissing Will’s worries away on his lips instead of the top of his head, but for now, it was enough.

Chapter Text

Jonathan tapped his foot against the woven rug beneath them. “You’re sure? It was really her?”

Will shifted forward in his seat and looked at Jonathan. “Definitely.” 

Mike chimed in, “So, now Will and I will go to Sweden.”

“Hold on, slow your roll.” Nancy said, unable to mask the annoyance in her voice. “You guys can’t just drop everything and go to Europe.”

“Uh yeah, definitely not.” Jonathan added.

Mike stood and began pacing again, around the middle of the living room. Will sat on the couch, now with his head in his hands and his shoulders slumped.

“Why not?” Mike demanded as he moved to sit back down next to Will. “I have money. I literally brought all of my money with me when I came here.”

Jonathan scoffed. “Don’t trust banks?”

Mike crossed his arms and leaned back in his spot. “As a matter of fact, no. Not really.”

“Mike.” Nancy groaned. “There is no way in hell I am letting you go halfway across the world. Mom and dad would kill me if they found out, and they would definitely find out. Like immediately. They have a sixth sense for us lying now.”

“I’m an adult now, remember?” Mike said sarcastically. “Dad reminds me every time I see him. So, I’ll ask them for forgiveness afterwards. Not permission.”

Nancy was gritting her teeth now. “You are not going. End of discussion.” 

“Nance, please. C’mon.” Mike stood from the couch and walked over to her, reaching out and placing each of his hands on either side of her shoulders.

Mike lowered his voice, tried to cover up how desperate he was to make this happen. They all needed closure. “It’s El, man. I have to...see for myself.”

She paused for a moment and shifted her eyes between Mike and Jonathan, her arms crossed against her chest. Mike released his grip on her when the vein in her neck that gets bigger whenever she was pissed off started bulging slightly. He braced for impact, prepared to hear her put her foot down, to tell him he wasn’t allowed to go and that she was going to run and tell their parents the second he tried to leave. To tell him what a terrible, awful, stupid idea it was.

“Jonathan and I are going too, then.” She concluded.

...

“What?” Jonathan spat out, stepping in front of Mike to look directly at Nancy. "Like hell we are."

“We've been to Europe before, last year.” Nancy said in a hushed voice. “We’ve traveled internationally, Jonathan. We know what to expect, at least somewhat. They have no idea.”

Mike gave them space, moving back to his spot next to Will on the couch.

“This is insane, Nancy.” Jonathan reached out and grabbed both of her hands, leading her away from the boys. “Absolutely batshit crazy. You know that right? We both have work. You also have your internship. We can't just...drop everything.”

They were still speaking with low voices, but not quietly enough because Mike could still make out what they were saying. He looked at Will and raised his eyebrows with a slight frown. Will just shrugged at him and they both turned their attention back to the other pair across the room.

“You know how freaking stubborn my brother is, Jonathan." She hissed at him. "He’s going regardless of what I say or do. And he’s going to talk Will into going, too.”

“I know, I know.” Jonathan tilted his head back and placed both of his hands on the back of his neck. 

“Okay, so wouldn’t you rather be there with Will instead of back here, worried sick the entire time? If we’re there and something goes down, we’ll be able to actually help, instead of thousands of miles away.”

Nancy paused and turned her head to look back over at Mike and Will, Jonathan’s gaze followed hers. The four of them stared at one another for a couple of seconds before Mike saw the resignation slowly settle on Jonathan’s face. A satisfied smile grew on Mike's lips.

They were going to Sweden. 

Jonathan sighed and looked at Will. “Fine. But only for a few days.” 

Holy shit. 

We’re going to Sweden.

Mike spit the last of his toothpaste into the sink and turned on the tap to rinse it down the drain. He looked up and into the mirror in front of him. His hair was still dripping tiny droplets of water onto his gray shirt. He studied his reflection in the mirror and realized that he somehow looked…different. 

More grown up, maybe? Or maybe it was that Mike was really seeing himself, his true self, for the first time, now that he was trying to be true to himself. He wasn’t lying to himself anymore, he felt freer than he had in his entire life. It was equal parts intoxicating and dangerous, because now that the idea had rooted itself in Mike’s brain, deep into his subconscious, and it was only a matter of time before he wouldn’t be able to suppress it anymore.

Will called out to him from the other room.

“You care if I open the window in here? It’s really hot again.”

Mike took in a deep breath and yelled back, “Go ahead.”

His mind flashed to the previous night, to the heat that they had generated together, which was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about, since he had sworn himself to being respectful and giving Will space for the time being. At least they weren’t drinking again, because there was no telling what might have happened when they were back in between the layers of bedding together again had more alcohol been involved.

The two of them would be alone again tonight, for the third night in a row, because Jonathan and Nancy were back at her place again, making the rest of the arrangements for their trip and getting her luggage packed. They had gotten a pretty good deal on some last-minute tickets, but it meant that they had to leave early the following morning, which didn’t leave a whole lot of time to get everything ready.

Mike reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, adjusting it slightly in the mirror. He was anxious to be laying close to Will again, to be in so little clothing in such close proximity to him. He was going to have to work really hard to control his brain, to be in complete control otherwise he risked allowing himself to give into the emotions and feelings he knew would be overwhelming him the second he got to smell Will’s shampoo on his pillowcase, feel his warmth lingering next to him. 

Mike bent down and turned on the water, splashing some of it on his face. 

Tonight was going to be a long night.

Mike walked the path from the bathroom to Will’s room and tried to brace himself for what he would find next. Will was there again, snuggled beneath the layers of blankets and sheets, sketchbook in hand and a slight crinkle in his brow. His hair was pulled back into a sexy, low ponytail, with a few loose tendrils spilling out around his face. The same dull light was on in the corner, the one that Mike knew better than to turn off.

When he entered the room, Will looked up at him and studied him, his eyes lingering at Mike's chest.

“Nice shirt.” He said with a slight smirk on his face. 

It was an old Hellfire shirt, one that he stole from Dustin. It had been worn so many times that it was practically see through now. Mike approached the bed and stopped at the foot to talk to Wil.

“How're you feeling? About everything?”

He stopped drawing for a moment to look up at Mike. “I feel okay, I guess. But I’d rather talk about something else. Anything else, really. Need distractions, you know?”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely." Mike finally moved to find his same spot on the opposite side of the bed. "Sorry."

“No worries.” Will shot him a wide smile. “Oh. Before I forget.”

He thumbed through the sketchbook in his hands, tearing out one of the pages once he had located it. He handed it over to Mike slowly, apprehensively, almost as if he were embarrassed for Mike to see it.

The sketch was of Mike, a portrait of him from the previous night when he had been playing guitar out in the living room. Will had depicted every single detail of Mike that night, somehow he had even captured the warmth of the wine creeping across his cheeks with just charcoal alone. He had paid special attention to Mike’s hands, every minute detail was captured once again, down to the moles and freckles on his face and arms and fingers.

“I finally finished it.” Will said softly. “When you were in the shower.”

“Will,” Mike murmured, eyes still trained on the piece of artwork in his hands. “This is…really incredible.” 

“I enjoy drawing you.” He said quietly. "You're a good subject."

The compliment stirs something inside of him, strokes his pride in an almost salacious way. He pushed the feeling down and tried to simply appreciate the masterpiece in his hands. He would never get over just how good Will was at capturing the essence of his subject matter, and not even necessarily in a hyper-realistic way. Sometimes it was in the energy he was able to convey, the shadows and the ways that certain colors would reflect in their eyes. 

Mike finally tore his gaze from Will’s handiwork to look back at him. One of his arms was resting under his chin, holding his face while he studied Mike’s reaction intently.

“I had no idea how much you had improved, not that you weren’t talented before, of course. But now, it’s like I can really see how you’re honing your style. Someday when I’m not completely broke I’ll have an entire house filled with your pieces."

Will rolled his eyes and laid back against the pillows. “Oh, stop it. I know I’m good, but I’m not that good.”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth, idiot.”

Will reached over to poke at Mike's shoulder. “You’re just blowing smoke up my ass.”

“Never.” He replied, now sporting a devilish grin on his face.

“I’d like for you to keep that one…” Will said, in a way that sounded more like a question than an offer. “If you want it, I mean.”

Mike's face lit up. “Really?”

Will nodded at him. 

“Of course I want it. Duh. I just gushed about how much I love your work.” Mike was beaming now, unable to hide his giddiness. "Thank you, I'm honored."

He handed the book back to Will and watched as he carefully ripped the page and handed it over to Mike. He studied it again briefly and let out a whistle. 

“Yes sir. This bad boy is going into a frame as soon as I get home.”

Home. Chicago. Far, far away from Will again. 

The idea of it is almost too much to bear. How could he go back to his life before, when the only one that had meaning anymore was the one he had here with Will. He knew what he wanted, and it definitely wasn’t being a thousand miles away from the one person that made him feel whole.

Mike set the drawing down on the side table next to his side of the bed and turned back towards Will, attempting to study his expression. He had returned his attention to his sketchbook, thumbing through until he finally settled on a half-finished drawing of a cherry blossom tree.

Mike took a deep breath and tried to sound nonchalant. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you, but, um, do you know what your plans are yet? Like, for after graduation?”

Mike pulled the blankets up over his torso and settled back into the bed as he waited for a response. He found himself staring up at the ceiling absentmindedly as he listened to Will’s reply.

“I actually haven’t decided anything for sure, but I’d honestly love to stay here, in the city.” Will paused for a moment. “There’s already opportunities for me, internships and stuff. If I want them…”

Mike’s chest swelled with pride. “That’s great, really Will. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.”

He finally shifted to sit up more, turning once again to Will, angling his body closer. He took a good look at Will and was surprised to find that he looked…afraid? There was a tentativeness in his eyes, a worry across his eyebrows.

“But I have this problem…” Will began apprehensively, his eyes darting away from Mike.

“Oh yeah?” He scooted over in place, slowly pressing his shoulder against Will’s. “What’s the problem?”

He felt Will’s head loll over to the side and rest on his shoulder. 

His voice was quieter now, barely above a whisper. “Any time I think about accepting one of them, to sign up to be here in New York permanently…”

“Yeah?” Mike said finally, when it had become clear that Will wasn’t going to be finishing his sentence.

“I don’t know.”

They’re both tiptoeing around it now.

“What don’t you know?” Mike asked expectantly.

Will sighed and set his sketchbook and charcoal down on his bedside table, turning his body fully towards Mike. “Do you remember that last D&D campaign? The last one we all played together?”

Mike shifted in place, legs crossed, so that they were now facing each other. He paused for a minute and then finally nodded at Will.

“The one right after graduation?” Mike asked quietly, fidgeting his his hands in his lap.

Will nodded back at him.

“Yeah, that one. You were telling us all stories. Stories about where we would end up, what our futures would be…”

“I remember.” Mike could feel his heart hammering away in his chest, the steady rhythm nothing like the hoofbeats from before. 

It felt more like chanting, like a slow building towards some unknown precipice. He didn’t feel crazed at all, nothing like the night before when the alcohol had made him feel out of control. 

He felt…certain. Steady. Knowing, deep down in his bones.

“You went around the room, and when you got to me…you said," Will was stumbling over his words. "You said that you pictured me happy in the future…with someone who really cared about me.”

Mike paused for a moment and tried to focus, tried to recall the specifics of that evening. He had been grasping at any tiny sliver of hope that he could find, was trying to envision a world where maybe they could all get an outcome that didn’t end in pain and misery, they had been through so much. Especially Will, he had been through more as a teenager than most people have to shoulder for their entire life. Mike hadn’t really grasped the specifics of what this future for Will would really look like, but now he fully understood. It had meant Will being with someone who could love him in all the ways…

That Mike wasn’t capable of.

But now, he wasn’t afraid anymore. He knew that he was capable. He would do anything and everything in his power to be someone that was worthy of Will. He was ready to try and give him the life he deserved, to show him how rare someone like Will was, how worthy he was of someone’s time and effort. He couldn’t imagine a future without Will by his side now.

“I still hope that for you.”

“Well…” Will looked like he was going to lose his nerve, but somehow the words kept spilling out. “It always bothered me that you didn’t picture a future for me...that also included you.” Will finally concluded.

Mike swallowed hard and shifted around on the bed. He gasped slightly when he felt Will reach over to interlock his pinky with Mike’s. He leaned in close to Will, attempting to see his eyes better in the low light. The two were close now, only a few inches away from each other, probably close enough for Will to smell the mouthwash on Mike’s breath.

“What do you mean?” Mike whispered. He didn't want his own brain to fill in the gaps, he needed to hear Will say it.

“Well, you asked me what my plans were for after graduation and the only answer I can think of is…I don’t know. And I really don’t care…” Will’s voice cracked. “As long as you’re there…”

Mike inhaled sharply.

“It’s my turn to ask you.” Will’s eyes were big but his expression was unreadable. “What are your plans for after graduation? Because there really isn’t that much time left and we should probably start planning as soon as possible.”

“Will…” Mike’s voice was strained now, something dark and possessive was building inside of him.

He felt Will’s hand move the rest of the way over to his, turning it to interlock his fingers with Mike’s. Everything else around them slowly faded away as Mike sucked in a deep breath. Will began to rub tiny circles against Mike’s thumb.

“I just know that I’ll be happiest if we live in the same city.” Will shifted his body slightly, closer to Mike so that their thighs were slightly pressed together. "I could move to Chicago."

Mike finally opened his eyes and turned to look at him. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. “Will, I uh. Well, I was actually already looking at jobs here, for the last few months…”

Will furrowed his brow. “Wait. In New York?”

“Yes.” Mike said softly.

He felt Will tense against him, the circles ceased abruptly.

His eyes were wide when he asked, “Really?”

Mike nodded at him. “Yeah, just browsing, I haven't applied for anything yet.”

“But…you didn’t say anything about it before now.”

Mike tightened the grip he had on Will’s hand. “I know, I’m sorry. I guess I was also waiting…to see what your plans were?”

Will was quiet for a second, with his mouth closed and a confused look on his face. 

“I love you.” Will blurted out suddenly and then promptly snapped his jaw shut, covering his mouth with his hand.

Mike’s eyes bugged out of his head.

“What?” He said with disbelief.

Will quickly moved to bury his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”

Mike found himself struggling to breathe; he closed his eyes for a moment and tried to steel himself before he continued. “Did you actually just say that or am I hallucinating?”

He’s afraid that Will doesn’t mean it in the way he’s hoping he does, but it didn’t matter. Hearing those words come out of Will’s mouth ignited something inside of him.

“Mike, I’m sor—”

He didn’t let Will say anything else before he promptly cut him off. “I love you.” 

The words come tumbling out of Mike’s mouth with very little effort at all, as if they had been perched on the tip of his tongue the entire time, ready to spring forward whenever the opportunity presented itself. And it wasn’t scary at all, saying it out loud. It wasn’t terrifying in the same way it had been with El. It felt comfortable, like it was the most normal thing in the world, like he was stating a fact. Something that had always been and would always be. 

Will’s eyes were watery, his brow wrinkled. Mike’s stomach turned, the silence between them was deafening but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else, instead waiting to see how Will would respond.

Will sucked in a deep breath. “Like the kind of love between friends?”

He felt like jumping up and running out of the room, unable to face the looming rejection he felt was imminent. Of course Will didn’t mean it that way, god he was such an idiot. Mike could lie, he could say that it he had meant it in a way that was purely platonic, that he felt the same way about Dustin and Lucas, a general brotherly kind of love, instead of something deeper. He could lie and save face and fix this before he completely ruined the only good thing in his life. He’d rather have Will as his best friend than as nothing at all. 

But there was a voice, calling out to him from the back of his mind. A voice that was telling him to be brave, to embrace the avalanche that was threatening to sweep him into the unknown. A voice telling him that if he wanted things to change…he had to change.

“No, Will.” He breathed, trying to steady his voice. “Not like that. At all.”

“What exactly are you trying to say, Mike?”

But Mike was so incredibly tired of talking. “Please, Will. Just...let me kiss you. Like, right now.”

He found that Will’s mouth was now hanging open, his hands now hanging limp on either side of his body. His face was pale, his eyes still wide but now they were completely full of tears, threatening to spill out and onto his cheeks. Will slowly nodded, looking absolutely dumbstruck at what was unfolding in front of him. 

Mike surged forward and captured Will’s lips against his own again and it felt like the world stood completely still. Mike’s hands found either side of Will’s face and gripped it tightly, pressing into Will’s mouth with a punishing pressure, trying as hard as he could to relay all of the things he was too afraid to say out loud. He felt Will’s apprehension, he could tell he was holding back.

Will suddenly pulled himself away from Mike’s lips, looking profoundly confused. “Wait. Mike, stop.”

Mike groaned and tore himself from Will, pulling his arms to hang restlessly at his sides. Will’s chest was heaving, his hair hanging down in his face, stuck haphazardly to the sweat of his forehead. He looks like a painting, the way the low light was casting shadows across his wild eyes, the lewd, unbridled yearning that shone through in his expression. 

Mike was aching already, painfully against the front seam of his shorts from just one kiss. It was pathetic but he didn’t care anymore. His body was nearly shaking from the anticipation, the adrenaline now coursing through his veins. 

“Are you even…” Will sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “But, I…I'm..”

“I know.” Mike hands were balled into fists; he was struggling to control himself, losing what little grip he had on his composure. “Please, Will. For the love of god, let me touch you or I’m going to explode.”

Will breathed out and his eyes fluttered shut; Mike could see that he was trembling. “Yes. Please, Mike, anything you want.”

“Holy shit.” Mike whispered softly, accidentally out loud.

Will’s eyes opened again and they stared at each other for a moment, each trying to make sense of the storm that was brewing between them. A tiny smile crept up on the edges of Will’s glistening ruby-colored lips and Mike couldn’t hold back anymore. 

"Take your shirt off." Mike demanded. 

Will immediately obliged, sweeping it off easily in one quick motion and discarding it onto the floor. Mike stared at his chest for a minute, allowing himself to finally take in all of the hard planes of Will's new physique, no longer afraid of letting his eyes linger. He drank in every inch of his creamy, peachy complexion, paying close attention to the curve of his chest and the lines that cut in around his hips. 

He looked like someone who didn't eat carbs or sugar, which was insane because Mike knew that wasn't the case at all. He couldn't believe just how affected he was by seeing his bare skin, feeling a new layer of urgent, wanton need for the man that was laid out in front of him. 

Mike decided to also remove his own shirt, throwing it onto the floor on top of Will's. He swallowed hungrily and leaned forward again, but wrapped his arms around Will’s neck this time, snaking his hands around to grab at the ponytail and pull it into his palm, yanking on it in the same way that had driven Will crazy the night before. Will moaned into his mouth and then Mike gently pressed his tongue at the seam of Will’s lips. He happily eased them apart, allowing Mike to explore his mouth fully and carefully, as if he were memorizing it. Their tongues danced together, blistery with heat and urgency and a delicious wetness that Mike lapped up as diligently as he possibly could. He wanted it all, anything that Will would give him, every last kiss and touch and sound and breath.

Mike shuddered when he felt Will’s hands finally move, gliding across his sides and settling down on his hips. A particularly deep groan traveled through Will’s body and straight through to Mike’s dick, which was still painfully strained against the front of his underwear. He shifted in place absentmindedly, attempting to find an ounce of relief, but that wasn’t really his concern right now.

All he could think was Will, Will, Will. Have to make him feel good. Need Will to keep making those noises.

Will pulled himself away from Mike’s face to unexpectedly command him. “Get on top of me, like you did last night.”

Blood rushed to Mike’s chest in response, a deep crimson blush adorned his skin immediately as he stared into Will’s desperate and hungry eyes. He nodded slowly and moved to straddle him once again, as Will settled himself against the pillows at the head of the bed.

"Wait. Take these off." Will demanded as he pawed at Mike's shorts. "I want to see you."

Will must have sensed the apprehension on Mike's face because he reached up to place a hand on Mike's cheek. "But only if you want."

"I do, I'm just..." Mike swallowed hard. "I've never..."

Will tenderly massaged Mike's cheek with his thumb. "Don't be afraid, it's just me. You're...perfect."

He released his grip and laid back down against the pillows again, and Mike felt like he had fire coursing through his veins. He sucked in a deep breath and looked down at Will, sprawled out below him. His ponytail now a thing of the past, his wild sweat-dampened hair fanning out onto his pillowcases in that same ethereal way that had been driving Mike crazy since he got here. He wanted it to be perfect for Will, what if he wasn't what Will was used to? What if Will wasn't attracted to him once he saw him without his clothes on?

He acquiesced, realizing he really didn't have anything to fear. Of course Will would want him, he was certain, because he knew that the connection between them transcended any kind of physical barrier that could ever exist. Because Mike knew that his love for Will was unconditional, and he knew, deep down in his bones that Will felt the same way, too.

Slowly, Mike shifted to slide his shorts off, taking his briefs down with them. He looked down, bracing himself for the lewdness of being naked in front of his best friend. His dick was rigid, jutting out in front of him proudly, bobbing around as he moved to get settled again on top of him.

"Dear lord." Will murmured as he drank in Mike's body, his gaze lingering on the place where Mike's bare length was now hanging above the growing bulge inside his own boxers. "Mike, you're kinda huge."

He saw Will's left eye twitch and watched as he absentmindedly licked his lips. He wasn't being shy about drinking Mike in, not afraid to let his eyes linger at the place where Mike needed him the most. It felt mesmerizing, being on display like this for him.

"Oh whatever." Mike rolled his eyes, shifting around in place to get comfortable. "I bet you say that to all the guys."

"Uh, no. Not really." Will was smiling at him again. "I'm no liar."

Mike wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so he decided to reach down and rest them on the hem of Will's underwear, grabbing at the waistband gently.

"Off." Mike mumbled, tugging on them gingerly.

The adrenaline was wearing off, the urgency was still there but it had transformed into something much more calm, assured, less chaotic. He wanted them to take their time, to really enjoy this before they had to deal with whatever was going to happen next because of it.

Will shifted his body and lift both of them up slightly, startling Mike as he felt himself being hoisted slightly into the air. Mike quickly pulled at the fabric, sliding it down underneath him, down to Will's knees, so they were both bare.

He sucked in a deep breath as he studied Will's anatomy, marveling at how pink and thick and impressive it was. He didn't know what he had been envisioning, he didn't really think about it in detail because he really didn't know what to expect, had never even considered any other man's cock before. But now that he was seeing all of him, a few feet away from his face, all he wanted to do was bend over and try and fit as much of it into his mouth as he possibly could. Mike's dick was definitely longer, but Will's had more girth, a fact that made Mike shiver in anticipation against his lap. He wanted to swallow it until Will's toes curled, wanted him to use his mouth and throat so that he could feel every ounce of Will's pleasure, straight from the source.

So many things he wanted to do, hopefully there would be time. Hopefully there would be...an after.

Mike felt tiny wildfires erupting at every place where their skin met, it was overwhelming but it also wasn't enough to quench the thirst he felt now. He needed more, he needed all of Will. His hands found their way to settle on Mike’s hips again and Mike felt like he was finally home. Exactly where he was meant to be.

Mike leaned forward and captured Will's lips again, sucking and biting at his lips, wanting to mark him in some way so that there would be some part of him left behind there. Because Mike was sober this time around, he could fully feel every sensation in a crisp, vivid way. No longer dulled, he could smell, taste, breathe in everything so clearly, it was almost intoxicating in itself. It was like a symphony serenading the coupling, the beautiful moans and breathy gasps that were escaping each of them, in between the mutual prodding and lapping. 

Will was like everything he had ever imagined and then some. Mike tasted those same rays of sunshine from the previous evening, but he also tasted the dewy mist of a rainforest mixed with a slight hint of peppermint toothpaste. Mike tried sucking Will’s bottom lip into his mouth again and it elicited an even bigger reaction than before. Will's hips jerked up into Mike's and he relished in the delicious drag of their cocks together. 

Mike moaned deeply into Will's lips and ground down on him in response, feeling Will's grip tighten around him. He ground down again and broke away, drawing his head back to look into Will's eyes. 

"So pretty." Will breathed out. 

Mike averted his eyes, the earnestness was too much for him to bear. 

"Hey, don't do that." Will squeezed at Mike's thighs with his fingertips. "Look at me. Please."

Mike finally met his gaze again and it nearly took his breath away, the pure look of adoration that was on Will's face now. 

"Stay with me." Will leaned forward to capture Mike's lips in another searing kiss, moving one of his hands in between their bodies. 

Mike pulled away after a second and looked down to see that Will had started stroking himself, slow languid movements. He felt another jolt of desire shoot through his body and moaned when a bead of precum slipped from the head of his dick, dripping down the side and then beneath his fingers as he rubbed it into himself.

Mike felt like he could cum, just from the sight of it.

"Oh my god. So, so pretty." Will whined, his eyes darting between Mike's eyes and his cock. "See what you do to me?"

Mike reached forward and placed his hand over Will's, quickly pushing it away and taking its place. He gave it a few tentative pulls before he tightened his grip and started to go a bit faster. He felt Will respond below him, felt his hips jerk upwards slightly when Mike would linger around the head of his dick every few passes. 

“God, Mike.” Will grit out, breaking the silence. “Please, don’t stop doing that."

He felt Will’s entire body begin to tense, his legs began to slowly stretch out behind Mike as he laid there at the mercy of his fingers.

“Is this okay?” Mike asked hesitantly, wanting to make sure that he was giving Will whatever he needed.

“Fuck.” Will’s eyes fluttered shut as his head rolled back onto the pillows. “Yes, Mike. More than okay. So, so good.”

His hips jerked suddenly, sending Will’s length even further into Mike’s grasp. He heard Will gasp and decided to tighten his hold even more. Mike was practically preening at the encouragement and decided to double down on his efforts, adding his other free hand and finding a new rhythm. He used his hands to swivel and rotate on each pass, relishing in the moans and grunts he was drawing out of the glorious man beneath him. 

All he wanted was to finally see Will come undone for him, to see him let go and know that it was Mike who was making him feel like this, Mike who was pulling these animalistic sounds from him, Mike who was making him quiver and shake and buck around. It did something indescribable to Mike’s ego, and now he was painfully aware of how there was no coming back from this, because nothing else on earth will ever be as good as this was right now.

Mike leaned forward and brought his face closer to Will.

“Mike, I can’t,” Will groaned again and his legs began to tremble. “How are you so good at this? I’m sorry, I'm not gonna last.”

“Don’t, then.” Mike breathed against his temple, his voice was low and gravely. “Just let go. I wanna see you come.”

“Oh my god, fuck baby.” Will’s head shot back again, eyes closed as Mike continued to breathe against the side of his face. “God damn. Do you really?”

The pet name immediately elicited a moan from Mike, who wasn’t aware until that very moment just how much he wanted to be Will's baby. He wasn't used to hearing Will curse even, hearing him speak like this was something entirely knew and taboo. He could become addicted to it if he wasn't careful.

“God yes, Will. I want to see it so bad.” Mike continued to tease and stroke at him, switching to a lighter grip whenever he could tell that it was too much for him. “You look so good like this, your body looks insane. This is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Never going to forget this moment.”

Will forced his eyes open and turned to star directly into Mike’s eyes, with a look on his face of disbelief. He pulled his lower lip into his mouth and held it there tightly between his teeth.

“The things I would do to you, if you would let me.” Mike breathed out, eliciting a long, deep moan from Will's throat. “And the things I’d let you do to me, too. You have no idea, Will. I’d let you fuck me right now, if you wanted.” 

And it sounds silly, to hear how confidently he says the words when he very much has no idea what that would even entail, but he means it regardless.

“Michael, Jesus.” Will’s hips jerked up into Mike’s hand again and another deep, almost guttural moan spilled from his lips. 

Mike leaned in and began to suck at the tender flesh of his jaw, freeing one of his hands to grab at the hair at the base of Will’s neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about this.” Mike whispered against the shell of Will’s ear. “How badly I’ve wanted to see you come undone for me. Longer than I even realized. It's all I want.”

“Michael…I,” Will’s voice trailed off as his hips bucked up once again, sliding against Mikes thighs.

“Please, Will. I need to see it.” Mike’s eyes were imploring, his grip never-ceasing on the hot flesh that was squeezed inside of it.

He felt Will’s twitch in his hand again and knew that it was only a matter of time before he finally got what he wanted. He stared directly into Will's sea-glass colored eyes and watched as he brought him closer and closer and closer.

With a few more pulls, Will was finally coming undone under him, convulsing and bucking wildly up into him. Will groaned as Mike milked him, sending ropes of his spend up and all over Mike's hand and stomach. It felt like it went on forever, he couldn't believe the noises that were escaping from Will's glassy, wet lips. He committed the moment to memory, engraving it into his subconscious so that he may revisit frequently. He continued to stroke Will through it, gradually softening his grip as to not overstimulate him towards the end. His hand eventually stilled but was still wrapped lovingly around his length, with streaks of Will’s cum dripping down the back of it. 

Will lay there, still pinned beneath him with a devastated look on his face. His eyes only left Mike’s briefly, glancing down to look at the mess that he had made of both of them. He looked at Mike’s cock which was now painfully swollen, standing at near-attention, a new bead of precum slowly sliding down the front.

His eyes followed Will’s and god, he needed to cum so badly, he could hardly think straight. Mike finally removed his hand from Will’s softening length as he shifted back on his legs to present himself to Will, using his messy hand to rub Will’s cum all up and down his length. He hissed at how sensitive he was, feeling every nerve ending in his body alight, like he were being struck by lightning. Mike groaned loudly and his hips jerked involuntarily. Will’s grip on Mike’s hips was nearly bruising now, his fingers digging into the tender flesh of Mike’s thighs and ass.

“You look so beautiful right now.” Will mumbled, making Mike whimper accidentally. “Touching yourself for me.”

“Fuck, Will." Mike breathed out, his eyes temporarily fluttering closed.

“Baby, does that feel good?" Will's voice was low and needy. "Rubbing me all over yourself?”

Mike’s thighs gripped onto Will’s waist as he began to slowly grind down into him, along with every pass of his hand. Will’s fingertips remain dug into Mike’s skin, certain to leave little crescent-shaped indentations in their place after they were finished. When Mike looked down, Will was already remarkably hard again, a sight that only drove him even closer to the edge of his own release.

Mike grunted as he continued to work his fist around himself, no longer holding back. “Jesus, Will. Feels so good. I still can’t believe this is actually happening.”

Will sat up slightly and leaned forward, letting out a mouthful of saliva directly over the top of Mike’s cock. They both watched another stream of precum oozed out of his slit, as Mike’s hand began to work all of their fluids together up and down his length. 

The sight was something downright obscene, the noises that were emanating from the place where his hand was working himself were almost enough to make him blush. He didn’t know what came over him, but all he could think about was being good for Will, making himself feel good while Will was watching. Anything for Will.

“You’re doing so well, Michael.” He gestured for Mike to lean down to meet him.

When he did, Will’s hands met either side of Mike’s head as he pulled him into a deep kiss. Mike groaned into his mouth when he felt Will’s hand slide over his own this time, allowing him to take over administering his pleasure. Mike relaxed into Will’s kiss and his touch. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in the overwhelming sensations that were singing all over his body. Eventually Mike broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Will’s, barely able to keep his eyes open but still struggling to do so, so that he could see everything. Every pass of Will's hand was a beautiful chorus in his ears, a beautiful building crescendo of pleasure and bliss.

Will’s hand was moving furiously now, and god, he was so good at this. Mike continued to grind down onto Will’s lap, heads pressed together, unexpectedly imagining what it would feel like to have Will fully seated inside of him while in this position. The mental image of himself, splayed open on top of Will like this, his head resting against Will’s shoulder, legs like jello, hands braced against Will’s chest, with Will’s hands reaching around Mike’s hips to spread him open...it's what finally sends Mike over the edge. 

His thighs tightened against Will’s body and he can’t control the noises and babbling that came stumbling out of his lips while he spilled his cum all over the entirely of Will’s hand and lower abdomen. His body jerked and convulsed while Will stroked him through it, pulling deep guttural moans from his chest with each pass. He continued to drag their hips together, grinding on him with reckless abandon and only ceasing when the sensitivity was just too much. Mike’s forehead was still pressed firmly against Wills, his eyes closed as he heaved giant, greedy breaths of air into his lungs. He felt like he was floating. 

Mike only opened his eyes when he felt Will move slightly beneath him. He took in a deep breath at the sight of him. Will had brought his hand up to his mouth and was now languidly lapping Mike’s cum off of his fingers, making a show of how he was carefully licking up every last bit of it.

"Jesus, Will." Mike breathed out. "You're going to kill me."

Will leaned up and captured Mike's lips in his own again, spreading his lips open so that Mike could taste himself and holy shit, it was so dirty and overwhelmingly arousing. He felt Will’s length poking against his abdomen, and broke the kiss to look down to see that Will's cock was already red and angry, a glistening bead of moisture leaking from the tip. He quickly looked back up to Will’s eyes and found that he was smiling. 

“I can…help. If you want.” Mike said softly.

“God, I don't deserve you." Will said suddenly; Mike felt his skin flush. "I might die if we do that again too soon, though. I need a minute. Come here, lay with me.”

Everything felt so surreal, Mike was sure that he was dreaming. He slid off of his perch on Will’s lap and down into bed beside him, pulling up the top sheet to cover their bodies. The sweat on their skin was now a hindrance, not mixing well with the cold gusts of wind that were still filtering in through the open window across the room. Will wrapped his arm around Mike and drew him into his body, so that his head was now laid against the center of Will's chest. His other hand found it’s way to Mike’s, interlacing their fingers together again. He circled his thumb against the back of Mike’s hand and then Mike felt him begin to press tiny, almost imperceptible kisses to the top of his head.

He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, tried to will his heart to stop beating so fast but it wasn’t working. He felt like if Will wasn’t holding onto him right now, Mike would surely have been swept out of the window, out along with the wind.

“Holy shit.” Will breathed out against the top of Mike’s head. 

Mike chuckled again his sticky skin. “Yeah. Holy shit is right, man.”

“Oh, fuck, sorry.”

Both of their heads snapped over to the doorway, where Jonathan stood, his overnight duffel in hand. Mike felt Will’s grip tighten around him, almost protectively.

“I…forgot my bag.” Jonathan stammered, looking down at his feet. “Uh, sorry again. See ya tomorrow.”

Jonathan quickly bolted down the hallway, headed towards the kitchen. They both listened as they heard him hurry out and nearly slam the door behind him. 

Will sighed. "Oops." 

Chapter Text

Mike felt Will’s body shift slightly behind him, and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it hadn’t been a figment of his imagination. 

The air was still, like a comfortable new calm had settled over the apartment. He wished he could freeze time for a while, wished they could live in this moment a little while longer before the real world started to seep back in.

Will hummed behind him and slid his body up against his, spooning Mike from behind, nuzzling his nose into the center of Mike’s back. “Morning, pretty.”

Mike still refused to open his eyes, he didn’t want to wake up all the way yet. Maybe if he kept his eyes closed he could prolong having to untangle their limbs and leaving their cozy, happy bubble. Their alarm hadn’t gone off yet which meant he could theoretically get a little more sleep if he tried hard enough.

It was hard to think about sleep, though, when there was so much else looming at the ends of his mind.

He relaxed and leaned back against Will, focusing on the feeling of his rough hands holding onto him from behind.

“Good morning.” Mike replied groggily.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Great, actually.” He felt goosebumps spread across his skin as Will continued to drag his nose against his shoulder blades. “Maybe the best sleep I've had in years, not exaggerating.”

“I know what you mean. Same. Hopefully now that we've talked to El...the episodes will be a thing of the past for me."

"Wish we would have went to bed earlier but like...not really."

Will shifted behind him again and then Mike could feel it. His aching need, urgently pressed right up against the cleft of his ass. 

“I never wanna leave this bed.” Will murmured into Mike's skin.

Mike hummed in agreement. “I’m...so happy.”

His grip on Mike’s body tightened as soon the words left his lips. 

“Me, too. So happy. I don't think it's fully sunk in yet.” Will mumbled absentmindedly, his hands still dancing across Mike's skin.

Half-asleep, his brain still halfway spread between awake and consciousness, Mike felt emboldened and decided to gradually press his body back, creating friction where Will was wedged behind him. Will’s free hand continued to explore Mike’s body, spending extra time to dance along his side and down to skim over the bare skin on his hip and thigh. 

“Are you real?” He whispered into Mike’s ear, longing oozing from his words.

Mike snorted, finally opening his eyes to find that it was still dark outside. “I think so?”

One of Will’s hands snaked around to find the center of Mike’s chest, gently pulling him back into his lips as he began to place lazy, delicate kisses across the skin of his back.

Mike had assumed a steady pace now with his movements, shifting his hips back into Will over and over, no longer trying to be coy about it. The sounds Will was making, the sighing, raspy breaths, the occasional groans, his hot breath fanning directly into Mike's ear. It was igniting that familiar want inside of him, he needed more. A high-pitched whine escaped from Mike's lips.

Will’s hand mercifully shifted down from his chest to find Mike’s throbbing length, already primed and standing proudly at attention for him. He gave it a few tentative strokes and Mike’s hips bucked wildly into his grasp, moving as if they had a mind of their own.

Mike groaned deeply and pressed himself back against him, startling slightly when he felt Will’s cock accidentally slide down and in between his legs. Mike threw his head back and reached up, grabbing at Will’s hair and stuffing a handful of it into his palms. He held onto it firmly and continued to grind his hips back, relishing in the feeling of having Will’s length sliding sloppily against his own. 

“Mine.” Will breathed into his neck as she shifted his cock back to slide against the crease of Mike’s ass. “God, I could come from this alone.”

“What time is it?” Mike asked tentatively, never stilling his hips.

“We have about an hour before Jonathan and Nancy get here to go to the airport.”

“Thank god there's time.” He sighed and further relaxed against the man behind him. “I like laying like this. Don’t have to worry about scaring you off with my morning breath.”

He felt Will laugh behind him.

“You act like I’ve never experienced it before. We’ve woken up together a million times.”

“Oh…right. Well, it’s different now.”

He felt Will chuckle again. “How so?”

“Because I wasn’t kissing you with it before.”

“Mike, I promise you, I do not care about your morning breath.” He felt Will press at his hip, urging his body to turn over. “Come here. Gimme kiss.”

“Ew, no way. It’s so gross.”

Suddenly, both of Will’s hands were on Mike and he was being flipped over against his will, flopping around like a rag doll, before he had even realized what had happened. They were facing each other now, laying side by side, foreheads pressed together. Will's hand reached around to cup the tender flesh of Mike's ass and pulled him in closer, guiding him to drape his leg over Will's side.

“Jesus Christ." Mike murmured absentmindedly. "I keep forgetting how strong you are now. It’s w—”

Will leaned forward and captured Mike’s mouth with his own, cutting him off mid-sentence. He welcomed his tongue into his mouth, against his better judgement, and pressed the kiss harder when he realized Will wasn’t shying away from his breath. Mike slid his hands up to his new favorite place, burying them behind Will’s head, at his neck, tangled in his hair. 

He actually didn’t mind Will’s morning breath at all, he could still taste a faint hint of his toothpaste from the night before, probably because they hadn’t actually gotten very much sleep. Or maybe it was because it was Will, and will could smell like hot garbage and bathe in Drakkar Noir and Mike would still want him.

Will's grip on Mike's ass tightened and he pulled Mike's body forward, pressing the front of their bodies fully together, sliding his hot, pulsating length against Mike’s own. 

“Fuck, Will.” Mike moaned into his mouth. “Marshall was right. You really are like Schwarzenegger now.”

Will scoffed and leaned in to press gentle kisses along the side of Mike’s neck. “Fuck off.”

Mike let out a laugh. “Don't be like that. It’s totally hot, how ripped you are.”

Will paused for a second and pulled away, meeting Mike’s eyes. He was finally able to get a good look at Will the first time today. Across his neck, there were faint marks and bruises from where Mike had made it his mission to mark him last night. It had happened sometime during their sleep, when he had woken Will up and insisted on kissing him until they both fell back asleep again before they could do anything else. Will's lips were red and slightly swollen, his hair was wild and sticking out haphazardly around his face.

He looked like heaven on earth. 

Mike chewed at his bottom lip, considering Will for a moment. “You know…I haven’t been able to stop thinking about something.”

Will began to get that same cocky grin on his face, the one that signaled that he could tell where this was going. He was always one step ahead of Mike usually. Why would this be any different?

“Ever since last night, since I…” Mike freed one of his hands from Will’s hair and moved it down in between their bodies, capturing Will’s dick in his palm. “Since I saw it. I can’t stop thinking about...trying to fit it in my mouth.”

“Holy shit, Mike.” Will swallowed hard, his eyes fluttering closed as Mike began to move his hand up and down Will's length. 

His hand paused towards the top of it and he used his thumb to massage at the slit there, rubbing in the moisture that had pooled at the top. He heard Will let out a strangled gasp and it stroked his ego in a major way.  

Will's hand on Mike's backside began to massage at his skin, cupping his entire cheek and grasping roughly at the flesh there.

“Well, can I?” Mike asked suddenly.

A smile crept across Will's lips.

“I want to hear you say it.” Will was enjoying this way too much; Mike felt his cheeks suddenly flush with shame. “Use your words.”

“You’re an asshole.”

Will sighed. “I swear I’m not trying to be, it’s just...”

He breathed out sharply when Mike’s grip tightened and twisted firmly around the sensitive tip of his cock.

“Fuck, it's just that I've waited a really long time to hear these things from you—”

A deep, guttural moan escaped Will’s lips when Mike’s other hand joined in, reaching down to gently cup and massage at his balls. His hips bucked forward and Mike felt yet another surge or precum leak out of the top of Will’s slit. He loved having him like this, to have Will be completely at his mercy, slowly coming apart in his hands.

"It's almost like I need to hear you say it...so I know you actually mean it." Will leaned forward and placed a tender kiss to the center of Mike's forehead. "So I know my brain isn't playing tricks on me."

And of course he understood, because he had been feeling the exact same way.

“Please, Will.” Mike whined, finally giving in to his demand. “Let me suck your dick. I want to, so bad.”

Will's smile shifted into something far more sinister; there was a fiery glint in his eye. “God, Mike. Of course, whatever you want."

Mike moaned and gave Will’s manhood another particularly punishing pass of his hands and Will’s mouth fell open. 

“Oh fuck,” He felt Will’s hips shudder forward into his hand, a deep, guttural moan escaping his lips. “Stop doing that, right now.”

Mike immediately released his hands, pulling them back towards his own body as if he had done something wrong. Will’s eyes were still squeezed shut, his grip around Mike's behind tightened, he felt his fingers dig into his skin as he took several deep breaths. After a few seconds, his eyes fluttered open and they were much darker and urgent than before.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Mike searched his eyes, unable to hide his concern. “We can stop if you want.”

“No, god no. I was just…if you keep looking at me like that, touching me like that, I’m not going to last very long.” Will released his grasp from Mike’s ass and reached up to either side of his face, pulling him close for another brief kiss. “I want to save it for your mouth.”

Mike felt his face begin to flush and felt the familiar wildfires begin to pop up all over his body. He would never get tired of seeing him like this, he felt so privileged that he was the one who got to see this version of him. It was intoxicating and overwhelming and Mike no longer had any reason to not surrender himself to it.

“Will, god. It’s still crazy to me to hear you talk like that. It’s making me feel insane.”

Will shifted in place so that he was laying flat on his back, his legs stretched out in front of him. His dick was jutting up towards the ceiling, painfully red and dripping like a faucet. Mike had never seen such a beautiful sight. Another mental snapshot was taken, something for him to revisit later, for the rest of his natural life. He never wanted to forget the way Will’s pupils took up his entire eye, the way his chest was heaving and glistening with sweat, the debauched look on his face.

He wanted this, just as badly as Mike did. Seeing Will's reactions was all the encouragement he needed to keep going, despite how profoundly and terrifyingly nervous he felt about all of this.

Mike shifted so that he was in between Will’s legs, lowering his body down to the bed until Will’s dick stood proudly, a few inches in front of his face. He wrapped one of his hands around Will, testing how sensitive he was by giving it a few leisurely strokes up and then back down. Will’s hands found their way to rest in Mike’s hair, grabbing urgently at each side of his head. Will's dick twitched in his hand, desperately seeking more friction and Mike was all too happy to oblige. 

He added a second hand and began to work him, paying extra close attention to the sensitive bundle of nerves right at the tip with every few passes. He leaned forward and pressed a tentative kiss to the head, relishing in the hiss that escaped Will’s lips above him. Mike’s eyes darted up to his, searching for permission to continue, still wanting to make sure that Will was actually into this and it wasn’t just some sick, cruel joke. 

“Please, Mike, I need you.”

Mike nodded and then surged forward, dipping his head down to capture the tip of Will’s length in between his lips. He sucked at it tentatively, both of his hands still wrapped around the bottom half of him and god, it was like a revelation. It was a million times better than he could have ever imagined, the feeling, the taste of finally having him slide against his tongue. 

Never in his life did Mike think he would ever be sucking someone off, yet here he was, embarrassingly nearly coming from it already.

The sensations were otherworldly, the musk and saltiness of his body mixed with the scent of his body wash from his shower the night before. It was overwhelming, to feel and taste and smell Will like this, to be this close, feeling like they were almost joined together as one singular being, like he couldn’t tell where Will ended and he began.

A shuttering moan escaped Will’s lips and then Mike swiftly moved his head down as far as possible, swallowing up as much of Will as he could. He felt the skin on either side of his mouth stretch deliciously to accommodate Will's girth. He held him there, felt the grip on his curls tighten abruptly, timed with a surge of Will's hips, causing more of his length to slip even further down his throat. Mike gagged slightly and then felt Will quickly loosening his grip on his hair to massage his fingertips against Mike’s scalp. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Will choked out. "Are you okay?"

Mike briefly pulled away, saliva dribbled down around his bottom lip. “I liked it. I think you can...be kinda rough. If you want.”

Will’s just nodded quickly, wordlessly settling his hands back in to grab giant handfuls of Mike’s hair into them. The devastated look on his face, the burning ravenous fire that was burning there, nearly knocked the wind out of Mike. There were tears prickling again in the corners of Will's eyes. He was looking at Mike with awe and veneration, as if he were seeing Mike for the first time all over again. It made Mike pause for a second to drink it all in.

I made him look like that…

Holy shit.

He almost couldn’t fathom it, the idea that it was he who was responsible for making Will come apart like this. Instantly, Mike became painfully aware of how needy his own cock was, bobbing urgently in between his legs. He released his grip on Will temporarily, sitting up and leaning back on his heels. He reached down with his right hand and wrapped it around himself, inhaling sharply at how overstimulating the touch felt. A long, thick bead of precum dripped from the tip of his cock, slowly dropping down and onto the sheets below him. 

“Sorry, god.” Mike breathed out. “I just needed a second. I didn’t expect to like it this much.”

Will was barely coherent, his thighs trembling slightly and his hands balled up into fists at his sides. 

“Please,” Will whined, making Mike’s belly flutter. “I need you so bad.”

“Oh my god.” Mike groaned as he stroked his dick, his hand pausing at the base.

He released his grasp on himself and leaned back down to Will's slick manhood. “I still can’t believe you like me back.”

Will's eyes were wide now, full of tears that were still unspilled, his mouth hanging slightly open, a bright flush spread across his chest.

“More than like you, remember?” Will smiled weakly, temporarily breaking out of his domineering facade. Mike watched as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. “I love you.”

Mike closed his eyes and smiled to himself.

He loves me back.

He almost can't believe it.

Mike quickly lowered his mouth over Will again and began to suck on his flesh with vigor, swallowing up even more of him than he had been able to before. He had been paying attention up until now in their encounters, trying to memorize Will’s body like a chemistry formula, remembering exactly which places caused his eyes to roll back, which spots would make him cry out or writhe around. 

Mike paid special attention to those places, using his tongue to trace around the head of his dick, stroking the lower part with his hands while his mouth work mercilessly at the top. Will cried out when Mike sucked against the head of his dick, pausing momentarily to press a few wet, sloppy kisses to the front of it.

It was indescribable, to feel Will inside of him like this, rigid and pulsating with each pass of his lips and hands, knowing that he was responsible for all of it. It stroked his ego in a way he'd felt before and now he craved more and more of it. 

“You’re doing so good, baby.” Will’s voice was much lower now, gravely with lust and fervor, almost unrecognizable. “Relax your mouth for me.”

He did, and then Will began to fuck up into him, using the grip he had on his curls as leverage. Mike relaxed his mouth and jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, happily allowing Will to use his mouth like a toy. He fucked Mike’s face with enthusiasm, but Mike could tell that he was still paying close attention to not pull his hair too roughly or push his head down too deeply.

"So good, Mike.” Will grunted as he thrusted over and over again into Mike’s throat. 

He had relinquished the last little bit of control he had and was now completely and fully at Will’s disposal, limp and with his brain switched off. He was no longer thinking, instead feeling and reacting to whatever Will was bestowing upon him. It was bliss, to feel that desired and wanted by him, to be completely at his mercy.

Mike felt his own dick shudder below him. He was leaking now too, certain he could from the slightest touch right now. After a whine, Will eased up on his thrusting, instead slowing the pace so that Mike’s head was sliding over it leisurely.

“Are you okay?” Will loosened his grip on his hair. “Too rough?”

Mike pulled his head away and made no effort to wipe away the strands of saliva that were now strewn across his mouth, neck and chest. 

“No.” Mike breathed out, shifting slightly to expose his torturous dripping length to Will. “This is because of you.”

“Fuck." Will breathed out, his eyes darting down to take in the sight. "Come here, I’m close. I know you're desperate for it.”

Mike couldn’t bring himself to feel shame at Will’s teasing anymore, he was way too far gone for that.

Instead, he decided to answer sincerely. “So badly, Will. Please…”

He leaned forward and was on Will again, sucking and bobbing up and down on him. His hands found their place at the bottom of his length again and Mike began to milk him up and down, working up to a quick pace. He was determined to pull every ounce of pleasure from Will that he could, determined for his mouth to filled by him. He would exist solely for Will's pleasure if he could, would let him take anything he wanted from him, would give himself to Will fully if he would only ask.

His head found a comfortable rhythm and he began to feel Will’s hips stutter beneath him Will was impossibly thick in his mouth, filling up his entire throat in a way that made him choke every time Will would thrust his hips upward.

“So, so good for me, Michael.” Will's hands found either one of Mike's shoulders, his fingertips digging into his skin there. “Jesus. Keep going, just like that.”

Mike hummed around him, continuing to suck and lap at him at an excruciating pace until he finally felt Will begin to come undone. He looked up at him through watery eyelashes to see his head thrown back against the pillows, his eyes screwed shut, his bottom lip pinched firmly between his teeth. The grip he had on Mike's shoulders was almost painful now; he watched Will's rigid abdominal muscles ripple and contract, in time along with the surging of his hips.

"Fuck." He hissed out as he thrusted up into Mike’s wanting mouth, his hips shuddering and bucking more wildly with each new movement. He pumped himself in and out of his warm, pliant mouth as Mike continued to suck on him with fervor, greedily attempting to soak up every last drop for himself.

“So good at taking me.” Will said, in between his heavy breathing and moaning, his hands still tangled up in Mike's damp, messy curls.

Will's hips began to slow as he pumped into Mike, his dick twitching out the last of his pleasure. Mike continued to lap up every bit of it, unable to suppress the moans that were escaping as he hungrily swallowed it all down. 

Mike had never felt so satisfied, so proud of himself, all for making Will come apart like that. 

He slowly released Will’s cock from the confines of his mouth and watched as it fell over, still coated in a thick layer of his saliva. Mike looked up at him, still splayed against the head of the bed, now sweating profusely from his forehead, neck, and chest. His breaths were ragged, his chest rising and falling intensely. His eyes were half-closed, his mouth still hung open slightly, just barely enough for Mike to see the tips of his front teeth. 

He looked so unbelievably sexy, like a god really. Chiseled and rigid yet somehow still so, so soft and lithe. Literally Mike’s prefect match, straight out of his wildest dreams. His heart was singing now, his entire body felt light and airy.

He was so satisfied and he hadn’t even come yet.

“Fuck," Will said breathlessly. "How are you already so good at that?”

Will gestured for Mike to come join him at the head of the bed. “You're sure you haven’t done it before?”

Mike gently pinched Will's inner thigh. “Shut up, dumbass.”

“Kiss me.” He puckered his lips at Mike. "You know you want to."

Mike leaned forward and pressed a long, burning kiss to his mouth, before leaning back to lay down beside him on the bed. Will turned to face him, propping himself up and hovering over Mike’s body. He reached down and took Mike’s neglected length into his hand, firmly rubbing his hand along the length of it gently.

Mike’s eyes fluttered shut and he relaxed into Will's grasp, allowed himself to be completely at Will’s mercy. 

"Thank you." Mike choked out weakly.

"God, Mike. You're perfect."

Will leaned forward and pressed another kiss to Mike's lips, this time lingering to dip his tongue inside, seemingly excited to taste himself on Mike's breath once again. Will captured every sound that was escaping from Mike's lips, gladly took in every hitched breath and moan and excited groan.

Mike's hips jerked forward, up into Will's palm and it was just all too much.

"Please."

"Shhhh, I know." Will breathed out, never stilling his movements.

He leaned forward momentarily and deposited a mouthful of saliva down onto Mike's angry cock. "You look so beautiful like this."

He continued to stroke him, rubbing it all around, his hand moving at an agonizing pace. Fast enough to provide a semblance of relief but not nearly hard enough to give him he friction he so desperately needed.

Will leaned forward to draw Mike into another deep kiss, his hands slick with precum and sweat and saliva. After a few seconds of their tongues dancing, Will broke away to sit back and watch Mike splayed out below him, reacting to his fingers and the delicious drag of his palm over this head of his dick.

“You know earlier, when you said I could have whatever I want?” Mike began apprehensively, barely able to keep his eyes open.

“Yes, baby. Anything.” He breathed out as he continued to work Mike at a leisurely pace. 

It was making Mike feel deranged, overwhelming in the best way but still, he needed more.

Harder. Deeper. He wanted Will to crawl inside of him and never leave, wanted to fuse their souls so he could feel like this all of the time.

“God Will, I want so many things. But mostly right now, I want you to touch me...you know, back there...my uh, asshole. God, I can’t believe I just said that.” Mike lowered his eyes down to look at Will’s hand move up and down his dick, he felt the heat rising in his cheeks. “Not literally right now, though. Later, when there's more time. But I wish we could, I wish...there was more time."

Will released his hand and brought it up to Mike’s face, gripping his cheek gently and forcing him to meet his gaze.

“You don’t have to be shy about this kind of stuff, there’s no reason to feel ashamed. Please, just...trust me?” His eyes were wide as he spoke.

“I do trust you, Will." Mike let out a breath he had been holding in. "More than anyone else on earth, probably.”

Will continued to slide his hands over Mike, stopping every few passes to pay close attention to the tip. 

"I want…every part of you, Mike. I never want you to doubt it.”

Mike whined as his cock twitched in Will's hand, a large rush of fluid leaking out of the tip and cascading down onto Will's hand. "Oh my god."

"So, so pretty." Will breathed as he went to finally add his other hand to his efforts.

Mike's hips jerked up into his grip; another whine, which he was no longer making any efforts to suppress, escaped from his lips. Will breath was heaving he watched Mike from above, a ruined look plastered across his face.

Mike had never felt so desirable before, so wanted. It made part of him want to cry, was healing something inside of himself that he hadn't even realized was broken.

“You know way more about this kind of stuff," Mike paused for a moment when another unexpected moan burst out of his mouth. "Fuck, I want you to teach me. Show me everything…so I can learn what to do for you.”

Will freed one of his hands and placed it on the side of Mike's face, staring into his eyes silently for a couple of seconds.

“Jesus Christ, Mike. You’re going to be the death of me.”

Will pulled his hand away from Mike’s cheek and held his palm in front of Mike’s mouth. “Lick it.”

It took Mike a second to process his request but he quickly obeyed, lapping obnoxiously at the skin of Will's palm until it was slippery with his spit.

He lowered the hand back down to Mike’s angry flesh and rubbed it all over, no longer holding back. He gripped it firmly with both hands and began to rub it in earnest, his hands working the slick all over it.

“God, Will. That feels so good. It's so wet.” Mike’s eyes were squeezed shut now, unable to focus on anything other than the incredible and blistering heat he felt wherever Will’s hands were touching his skin.

Mike’s hips began to buck up into his fist, his legs began to stretch out, his toes pointing straight out. He thought about Will’s spend, the way it had felt being thrust into his mouth and throat before, and it made him let out a loud groan. 

Will leaned forward and captured Mike’s lips, forcing him back to the moment and out of his head. Will's tongue darted into his mouth and Mike moaned loudly into him. His hips stuttered, jerking up haphazardly as he began to experience the strongest orgasm of his entire life. Mike forced his eyes back open, he wanted to be looking at Will while he reduced him to a puddle on his bed. 

Will pulled away to watch as he pulled rope after rope of pleasure from Mike’s body, his eyes finally breaking from Mike's to watch it happen.

“Holy shit, that's so hot." His fist was moving at a punishing pace now. "Coming like this for me.”

He continued to stroke Mike as he whimpered and mewled at the overwhelming sensations, the overstimulation of Will’s hands, as he continued to massage at the head of Mike's cock. 

“Will.” He finally hissed. “Too much.”

Will promptly released him and leaned down and immediately began to lap at Mike’s softening cock, softly licking the head and the shaft thoroughly and then moving onto his lower abdomen and chest. He didn’t stop until he had cleaned up every last trace of Mike off of himself.

Mike's legs felt like jello, his hands were shaky as he reached down to hold onto Will's arm.

"Fucking hell. That was insane." Mike was smiling at him now, gently pulling at his arm. "Come lay with me."

He pat the bed next to him and shifted to give Will more room. He laid down beside Mike and pulled him once again into his arms, his head coming to rest on Will's chest.

He felt an ugly twist of possessiveness wash over him, to have seen Will so greedy to taste him, to know that his cum was inside of Will again. It did something unspeakable to him, like make him think about things like the future and marriage and buying houses and getting cats and things that he had never even considered before now. 

It was actually terrifying, but thrilling nonetheless to be considering a future at all, let alone one with Will. But he wasn’t ready to admit those kind of feelings yet, he didn’t want to scare him off so soon.

But god, if Mike wasn’t more sure than ever that this was the person with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He didn’t want any more memories unless Will was a part of them. 

Nothing else mattered. 

“I love you, Will.”

“You’re going to wear a hole through the carpet if you don’t stop doing that.”

Mike shot Will a death glare that would have shaken even the most steadfast of Dr. Brenner’s soldiers and continued to wander around him, meandering around the edges of the living room.

"They're late. Nancy is never late."

"Mike, just come sit down."

He ignored him. “I cannot believe this is happening.”

“I can." Will huffed out a laugh. "We didn’t exactly close my door.”

Mike paused momentarily and flashed Will another harsh look. “Dude. We were alone, why the hell would we?”

Mike took another lap around the couch and wandered into the kitchen. He could do the dishes to distract himself? Will hated doing the dishes, he would make it his mission in life to make sure he never had to do them ever again. At least not when Mike was around, anyway. It was the perfect distraction he needed right now.

He walked over to the sink and began to run a sink full of hot, soapy water.

“Cleaning? Really?”

“It calms me.”

“Why do you need calming?” Will asked, lowering his voice. “Are you feeling…do you feel regret?”

Mike quickly spun around, a soapy bowl in his hand and a sponge in the other. Will was leaning against the back of the couch now, his hands buried in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. 

“God, Will. No. Not at all.” He walked over towards Will and stopped once he was standing in front of him, looking him in the eye. “It’s just…your brother, man. He intimidates me. I feel like he hates me.”

Will smirked at him. “He doesn’t hate you. He probably…just thinks you’re annoying or something.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s so much better.” Mike groaned and threw his head back. “Jonathan was basically a dad to you growing up, more than Lonnie ever was. He's saved your life more than once. He’s very…protective of you and I’m…”

Drops of soapy water were steadily falling to the floor on either side of him, tumbling from the items in his hands.

“I’m me. I’m just…Mike. He’s not going to think I’m good enough for you.”

I definitely do not feel like I’m good enough for you. 

“You deserve everything.” Mike pressed his eyes shut, letting out a deep breath. “What if I’m not—”

He felt the press of Will’s mouth against his own and opened his eyes to see that he had leaned forward to place firm kiss on his lips. He melted into it, humming against the warmth, welcoming the distraction. 

“Mike, you are everything, to me at least.” Will sighed against his lips before leaning away. “You have been, since like kindergarten. I thought you would have figured that out by now.”

Mike wrinkled his brows. “Kindergarten?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Oh. I mean, I figured…I knew you had a crush on me but I guess I assumed it was something that had came and went.”

Will leaned forward and captured Mike's lips in another quick kiss. “Uhm, no, definitely not.”

“So, with Anton—”

“He wasn’t you.” Will said quickly. “Nobody ever measured up, I guess.”

“Will…”

He hummed at Mike. “When did you realize?”

“Realize what?” Mike asked tentatively.

“Hmmm. All of it.”

“Well, let’s see." Mike began slowly, carefully considering his words. "The more time that goes by, the more it feels like a part of me has always kind of known? I think part of me has loved you since we first met, I just didn’t know that's what it was."

Will nodded at him, encouraging him to continue.

"I knew the way I felt about you was different than any other friend. I pushed it down, maybe." Mike nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He doesn't think it's a good idea to bring up El specifically, but he can try to be vague. "I tried so many times with women, I just couldn't perform. It always felt so hopeless. I thought something was wrong with me, I thought maybe I was just…supposed to be alone.”

Mike walked back over to the sink and resumed washing the dishes, trying to distract himself from the intensity of Will's gaze.

“I’ve never been into any other guys either, for the record. I don’t even know if I would call myself…”

"I get it." Will chimed in. He always understood exactly what Mike was trying to say.

“Then when I got here, finding the artwork. It was like…something clicked.”

“Your awakening." Will concluded, a small smile creeping onto his lips.

“I guess you could call it that. It made me realize that maybe it wasn’t so wrong, to feel this way about my best friend.” 

“Trust me, I know exactly what you mean.”

He heard Will's footsteps approach him and then a second later, he felt his hands slip around his waist, felt Will gently press a familiar kiss in between his shoulder blades from behind.

“There were other times." Mike squeezed more dish soap onto the sponge in his hand, as Will began to slide his hands all over the front of Mike's body. "You know, times when I would…react…to you. Over the years.”

“React?” Will asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

He snaked his hands up to either one of Mike's nipples and began to circle them delicately, through the thin fabric of Mike's t-shirt.

“C’mon, Will." Mike groaned, trying to focus on removing the dried oatmeal from the bowl he was scrubbing. "Don’t make me say it.”

“You’re so adorable when you get flustered. I told you to stop being embarrassed.” Will chided him. “So how many times…did you react to me, Mike?”

Mike stilled and closed his eyes, allowing himself to focus solely on the feeling of Will's hands. He gave one of Mike's nipples a firm squeeze and pressed his body completely against his.

He moaned in response, throwing his ass back into him, just like earlier.

“God, Will. So many times." He breathed out. "And I could probably spend the next hour recalling every single one to you, because they were all that memorable. The one I think about the most often was a time when we were at lover’s lake. I think it was the summer after you guys came back from Lenora. All of us were swimming, I was laying in the grass with Lucas. I looked up right as you were coming out of the water, it was just gliding over your skin, it looked as smooth as glass. And your shorts were yellow and microscopic, with a little stripe down the side. I felt like I was going to pass out.”

“You know, I wore those on purpose, right?”

He could feel Will now, urgently pressed against his backside. Standing in this position was an entirely new position, though, because Mike was taller. The way they slotted together was perfect, and Mike couldn't help it when his brain flashed him a mental image, one of Will bending him over this counter and pounding into him until he was a blubbering, soaking wet mess.

“What?” Mike grit out incredulously, forcing himself back to reality. "On purpose?"

“I had this idea in my head that if I tried to catch your attention, maybe it would awaken something in you. Your awakening. Kinda ironic, isn't it?”

Mike dropped the dish he was holding back into the sink and rinsed his hands off.

“Oh my fucking god.” He said as he dried his hands on his jeans and turned in place, finally facing Will. 

“Well clearly, it didn’t work.”

“Are you fucking with me?" Mike studied his face, tried to suss out any hint of deception.

“I wish.” Will breathed out, settling his hands onto either side of Mike's hips.

Mike snaked his arms up around his shoulders.

I feel stupid. So much wasted time.

“Well, the shorts actually did kind of work, I was just too stupid to realize it at the time. I remember, I went straight home that afternoon and jerked off, thinking about those goddamn tiny shorts. Telling myself to imagine them on El instead of you. Which didn’t exactly work so well, the mental image was...already burned into my brain."

“I still have those, I think. Not that they would fit me anymore, but they’d probably look pretty good on you. You should put them on before Jonathan and Nancy get here. Let the shorts do all the talking?”

Mike groaned and leaned forward, burying his face in Will's neck. “I’m sure he’s already told her about what he saw last night.”

“I know my brother and I don’t think he would out you like that." Will drew Mike further into his arms, sliding his hands across his back to pull him in. "Not even to Nancy.”

Mike sighed against him. “I wouldn’t even blame him if he did. He invited me into his home and I repaid him by coming all over his brother.”

Will choked out a laugh and tightened his grip around Mike, moving now to press tender kisses into his shoulder.

“A bunch of times.” Will added playfully.

Mike groaned, defeated, slowly accepting his fate. “He’s going to kill me. He’ll hate me, just like Hopper does.”

Will stilled his movements and pulled away slightly to look at Mike.

“You do have a pretty punchable face sometimes. It’s this smarmy look you get, when you know you’re right about something."

Mike sighed loudly, performatively, and rolled his eyes at him. 

“I personally think it’s sexy. Others, maybe not so much.” Will's eyes were glittery, sparkling in the early morning light. “Tell me about another time, Michael.”

“Another time?”

“When you wanted to fuck me.”

Mike gasped. “Jesus Christ. I don't know if I'll ever get used to hearing you talk like that.”

“Tell me.” Will said, now with a more serious tone to his voice.

His hands had resumed their grasping, now reaching around to settle over the swell of Mike's ass on either side. He gripped tightly and pulled Mike closer, pressing the front of their bodies together.

“In the shower yesterday, before you gave me the drawing.” Mike finally obliged.

Will’s eyes widened. “Wow. Really?”

“I thought about our first kiss while I was in there, about how I didn’t want it to stop.” Mike confessed. “Feels like a lifetime ago now, though.”

He felt Will's grasp tighten around him. “Were you serious, about moving here?”

It devastated Mike, the look of uncertainty in Will's eyes. He never wanted to see him look like that ever again.

“I would move tomorrow, if you asked me to.” Mike didn't care how desperate or pathetic he sounded, all that mattered was Will and making sure he knew how much Mike wanted this. “Chicago isn’t exactly home. I haven’t felt at home since we both left Hawkins, to be honest.”

Mike leaned forward and captured Will's lips with his own, pulling him in firmly and protectively. Will immediately met his urgency, returning the kiss wholeheartedly. The grip he had on Mike's ass deepened, as he pulled Mike firmly into him.

Will pulled away and rested his forehead against Mike's. "Let's figure out what's going on with El, and then when we get back...we can figure it all out. I do still want to come visit you in Chicago, though. I meant that."

Mike hummed in agreement and leaned forward to kiss him once again.

He found it humorous now, to recall that conversation. When he had joked about them having to share Mike's tiny bed, how nervous he had been about the idea of it. Now, he couldn't wait to have Will, naked and pressed up against him in the corner of his room, sharing his twin-sized comforter. 

Mike couldn't wait to show Will off, to make him cry out and moan so loud in the night that his roommates would have to temporarily vacate the apartment.

When they finally broke apart from each other, Will looked over at the clock on the opposite wall. 

“They’ll be here any minute. Our flight leaves in a few hours, and it's going to take a while to get to the airport from here, at this time of day.”

“Oh god, I’m gonna throw up.”

“Mike, you have got to calm down.” Will pressed a kiss to his temple. "Everything will be okay, I promise. I'm not even just talking about Jonathan. I mean...all of it. Your parents, Nancy. We can talk to them whenever you're ready, it doesn't have to be any time soon. Or even at all, if you decide that's what you want. I've been through this, I'll be right by your side, if that's what you want."

And it just occurred to Mike that he hadn't even considered what his parents might think, about all of this. There was a time in his life where the mere idea that his dad suspected that he might be like...Will...would have filled him with anxiety and fear, worried about the judgement, the comments he might make about it. 

But now that he didn't live at home anymore, now that it was truly a choice whether he wanted his dad in his life at all. It was actually feeling a whole lot less daunting. 

He barely talked to his dad anymore as it was. It's not like he would be losing much. 

"You're spiraling, aren't you?" Will searched his eyes. "Come back to me."

Mike blinked a few times and tried to snap himself out of it.

“I woke up this morning sure that I had dreamed the whole thing, I wish I could go back to that feeling. Instead of this dread.” Mike buried his face in Will's hair. “Sleeping naked with you is the best thing ever by the way, because it gets so goddamn hot in there at night for some reason. It was way more comfortable without clothes on.”

“I prefer to sleep naked anyways, so it’s nice to finally get back to that now.”

“Oh Jesus, really?” Mike said breathlessly.

“All the time.” 

Mike’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. “Uh, that’s insanely hot, Will. Christ. I think we need to talk about something else.”

Will leaned forward and placed a palm against Mike’s cheek. “Jonathan will be happy if I’m happy, Mike. Why don’t you let me worry about him?”

It was like Will had know that he needed that reminder, a reminder that it was okay to let him be in control sometimes, even though it sort of felt like it was going against every biological imperative he had. He had spent the better part of his life worrying about Will in some way, trying to protect him and his wellbeing but there wasn’t any real danger anymore.

Because Mike completely trusted Will, his judgement, his ability to handle difficult situations, it was easy to give up some of his autonomy in exchange for the chance to be malleable, mindless, to be at the mercy of whatever Will would give him. 

For the first time in his life, it felt easy to let someone else take the reins.

“By the way, I uh, really enjoy how you uh, handle things. I mean, you are obviously way more experienced than I am with all of this stuff.”

Will's expression softened. “I understand.” 

“It takes a lot of the pressure off of me when you just…tell me what to do.”

“Mike,” He whined. “It's like you were made for me. How are you so perfect?”

“I meant what I said, about…wanting you to teach me.” Mike narrowed his eyes at him. “Dude, you have got to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?" Will raised his eyebrows slightly. "This is just my face.”

“Don’t play stupid.” Mike reached up to gently tug at Will's earlobe. “You keep looking at me like you’re imagining me on my knees or something.”

Will gasped, feigning outrage at Mike's accusation. “You can read minds now?”

Mike rolled his eyes and tried to pull away from him, but Will tightened his grasp, thwarting his escape. “Lucky guess I suppose."

“I’m sorry, baby." He breathed against his neck. "Does it bother you when I objectify you?”

“Not even a little bit, but I’m trying to focus here. Now that they’re almost here, I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I really do feel like I need to throw up.”

Mike’s neck snapped to the door when they heard someone fumbling with the lock outside. 

“Remember. I love you. Everything else will come out in the wash.” Will gave his ass one last squeeze before he released him, backing away a few inches but remaining by his side.

A moment later, Jonathan walked inside with Nancy following close behind. 

He nodded at Mike and Will as he entered. “Morning.”

“Hey, good morning.” Nancy echoed as she walked in and dropped her suitcase near the entrance.

Jonathan walked in front of them and stopped by the thermostat.

“Jesus, this is the second day in a row I’ve come home and the thermostat was set at 78 degrees. Don’t you guys think it’s hot in here?”

Mike turned to look at Will and narrowed his eyes at Will, his mouth hanging open incredulously. “Yeah, actually. I do. Don’t you agree, Will?”

“My bad.”

“Yeah, uh, Will…can I talk to you for a second? In my room?” Will nodded at Mike and then followed Jonathan down the hallway and out of view. 

Now that they were alone, Mike braced himself for the interrogation. He was fully expecting Nancy to corner him and demand answers.

“What’s going on with them?” Nancy asked as she moved to sit on one of the barstools nearby. "Are they fighting or something?" 

Hmmm. Maybe Jonathan hadn’t said anything to her about what he saw last night? It would be a godsend, he just didn’t have it in him to endure the game of 40 questions that would ensue once she found out. 

“Dunno. I’m gonna go finish getting my stuff together.”

“Don’t forget your toothbrush.” Nancy said, a little more cheerfully than Mike would have expected. 

“You’re actually excited to go now, huh?”

“I mean, yeah? It’s Sweden. Of course I’m excited.”

Mike snickered at her. “Cool, now I don’t have to feel guilty about it.”

“I can’t believe it was you the entire time. Not cool. Do you know how hard it’s been for me to sleep at night? I've been burning up."

“Maybe I was forcing your hand a bit. Maaaaybe I was hoping you would sleep in your underwear?" Will shrugged at him "Sue me.” 

“Go brush your teeth so we can leave, jerk.” Mike pushed at him, forcing him out into the hallway.

Mike waited until he heard the water turn on in the bathroom next door, signaling that Will had began. He rushed over to Will’s side of the bed and snatched the photo of Joyce and Hopper. He wrapped one of his sweaters around it and quickly buried the frame inside of his suitcase, tucking it away for later.

He jumped slightly when he heard Jonathan’s voice from the other side of Will’s bedroom door.

“Hey Mike, can I talk to you out here for a second?”

He made his way over to the door and opened it, nodding at Jonathan. He led Mike down the hallway and through the kitchen, where Nancy raised an eyebrow at the two of them. Mike just shrugged and followed him out of the apartment and out into the outside hallway.

When Mike closed the front door behind him, he saw that Jonathan had already made his way down the hallway, near the roof access stairwell. Wordlessly, he motioned for Mike to follow him through the door and then up the stairs. 

Mike tailed close behind him, and after a few flights of stairs, Jonathan exits through a door that lead them both to the roof of the building. Jonathan guided Mike over to a smoking area nearby and gestured for him to have a seat. 

It was freezing up here, with little around to block the gusts of cold, frigid wind that was blasting by. Mike folded his arms in front of his chest and tucked his shoulders up to his ears, shivering already from the blistering cold. Neither of them said anything for a bit. Mike really didn’t want to be the one to break the silence but it was eating away at him. 

Eventually, he cleared his throat, prompting Jonathan to finally look over at him. He had a calm, even look in his eyes. Panic began to set in as Mike was finally able to get a read on the situation at hand.

He’s going to kill me.

The tone of Jonathan’s voice was more serious than he had ever been before, and his words sent a chill down Mike’s spine. 

“What exactly are your intentions with my brother, Mike?” 

Mike scoffed reflexively. "Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Wheeler.” Jonathan looked like he was ready to push Mike off the side of the building. 

Mike opened his mouth to try and explain himself, but he quickly realized that he wasn’t actually sure what to say and he didn’t know how much Will even wanted him to say. He was here to help Will first and foremost, sure, but there was obviously so much more to it than just that now.

I’m here to help him.

I would do anything for him.

Because he’s the love of my life.

He wasn’t going to give that much away, especially not to Jonathan. He was the last person on earth he would like to try and explain his feelings to at the moment.

“I’m here to help Will.”

“Dude, I’m not an idiot.” He folded his arms across his chest and leaned forwards. “I have eyes.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Jonathan reached out and grabbed Mike’s shoulder, digging his fingers deep into the flesh there. He looked Mike directly in the eyes 

“This is serious, okay? You’d better make damn sure you know what you want.” His voice was eerily calm. “Because last time, he almost didn’t survive you. You don’t just get to waltz in and out of his life when it suits you.”

Mike huffed and jerked out of his grasp, crossing his arms defensively across his chest.

“I already apologized about not calling. I was dealing with my own shit.”

Jonathan paused for a moment, opened his mouth and then closed it again. Finally, he said, “I know you’re Nancy’s brother, but I’ll go to jail if I have to. I don’t even care.”

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan. What are you even talking about?"

“You heard me.” His mask of sanity was starting to slip, a crack in his facade. It was sort of terrifying. “Don’t fuck this up, or we’re going to have a problem.”

Mike’s jaw hung open, completely unsure of how to respond.

“Do you understand?”

Mike nodded quickly, snapping his jaw closed.

Mike fidgeted with his hands in his lap. “You should know. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jonathan stood and walked over to the edge of the building, leaning over a bit to look down at the street below.

Mike stood and walked over to him, against his better judgement, so that he would be able to hear him better, over the blistery gusts of wind.

He shivered and shoved his hands down into his pockets, leaning against the ledge of the rooftop.

Jonathan shifted his gaze back to Mike, with a sort of sadness in his face. “Will doesn’t deserve to get hurt while you finally figure out what the hell it is that you want from him.”

And it felt like he had stabbed Mike right through the heart. He hadn't realized the real toll that this must have had on Will, to have been in love with Mike for such a long time. All of that love and nowhere for it to go. 

At least Mike was able to be blissfully unaware of his feelings for most of the time, because he was such an idiot, completely clueless and out of his depth, confused but never really quite aware of why it was that he felt the way that he did. He had been lucky...he didn't have to fully understand the pain and ache that he felt until much later than Will had. 

Will had never dated anyone for longer than a year, never moved in with anyone, never stopped being in Mike's life. It was occurring to Mike the full extent of what Will had suffered through, and it nearly brings him to his knees. He had waited for such a long time, waited for Mike to catch up to where he was.

He would spend the rest of his like making it up to him.

“I get it. I was an idiot. I’m trying to not be one anymore. Okay?”

Jonathan narrowed his eyes at him, moving to lean back against the roof's ledge, a few feet away from Mike.

“I…” Mike stared forward, trying to work up the courage to say what he wanted to say next.

A nasty gust of wind blew by and took Mike's hair with it, whipping it around wildly and slapping it against his face. 

“Jonathan," Mike took in a deep breath. "I’m in love with your brother.”

“Oh, god.” He threw his head back and let out a harsh laugh. “It’s so much worse than I thought. Fuck."

Mike finally turned to face him and saw that he had turned himself around and had either of his hands placed forward, bracing himself against the railing. His eyes were squeezed shut and his face was a deep shade of red.

If Mike were a smarter man, he would be halfway back down the stairs by now.

“What I said still stands." Jonathan mumbled a few seconds later, barely audible.

And then, louder, "Be good to him and we won’t have any problems."

Jonathan pushed himself off the wall and straightened his posture, rolling his shoulders a few times. He took a few steps towards Mike and he surpassed the urge to flinch away from him.

"Deal?" He reached his hand out to Mike, a peace offering.

He grabbed it tentatively and shook it firmly against his palm.

“Deal.”