Chapter Text
…To Whom It May Concern,
This letter is to confirm that Laurie Reed, under my care since August 25, 2025, has been evaluated for psychiatric treatment. After careful assessment, it is my professional opinion that Ms. Reed is currently medically stable and fit to return to work as of September 11, 2025.
It is recommended that she continue with ongoing outpatient care and attend follow-up appointments as scheduled. Reasonable workplace accommodations may be considered if necessary.
Please feel free to contact me for verification or further information…
There’s a small knock on the door.
“Laurie, dear, are you awake?”
The tiny crack under the door showed her mothers feet. She seemed to be kind of side stepping something, as if there was a sort of invisible barrier.
She sighs, scratching the sleep out of her eyes and putting the flat piece of paper that dictated the future of her job on the bedside table. A small sheep plushie falls on the ground, and suddenly Laurie felt like she was a teen once again.
“Yeah, coming in a minute.” Her voice is hoarse when she answers. Her mother hums, and she can hear footsteps going down the stairs.
Looking at her dark room, she couldn’t feel more out of herself.
When she left her mother’s house, Laurie thought she would be forever this way. The posters of dead singers, the cute knick-knacks made out of paper, shitty drawings and old photos of friends she couldn’t remember the name. If she looked around, she probably could find her prom dress and the corsage that didn’t match because her date didn’t care enough to try.
And the several suitcases on the carpet seemed to really accentuate the thin line between a happy teen and the miserable adult she had become. If she looked close enough in the bathroom mirror, she could sort of see someone who looked like the teen in the pictures. The same spots, same nose, same eyebags. At least she didn’t look like a grandma from all the stress.
Laurie really liked to think that her younger self would be proud of her, but she wasn’t so sure she knew who that kid was, or who she was now. It felt like she was going girlhood once again, but now she had real responsibilities and couldn't just stay inside all day throwing a tantrum of how much she hates her life on twitter. That would be embarrassing now.
Looking around, she couldn't even remember when she decided — or was convinced — that medicine was the right choice.
But it didn’t matter anymore, because all that had left of that weird teen was her room that her mother refused to disturb since she put way too much time in the purple walls matching the posters for her to take it all away.
“Laurie, it’s 5 already. You're gonna be late.” her mother shouts this time.
It was just like high school, sometimes.
She needed to get it together.
Room 15 had only been empty for about five minutes, but there was no way to take a break in a place like that. The bright lights, the noise that seemed to beat her brain with hammers, her name being called incessantly without a gap for her to organize her mind.
"Dr. Reed! Where is Dr. Reed?”
She would go crazy if she didn’t take anything for her head. Mel was a sweet girl, but she couldn’t stand her voice anymore and it was not even her fault, her body was just being petty about the new medication.
Laurie lifted her forehead from the wall, forcing her body to become alert again, leaving the several thoughts about hiding in the bathroom for hours disperse as she opens the curtain.
Mel was running back and forth. Her hands were red from holding them together really tight.
“Dr. Reed! A patient from a car accident arrived just now— her blood pressure is dropping fast!” Laurie followed Mel instantly, straightening the stethoscope around her neck.
“Vitals?” A woman with a sweating pale face could already be seen on the other side of the hub. Paramedics were helping to move the stretcher down the corridor, awaiting further instructions.
“Ninety systolic, heart rate one-thirty.” Dr. King responded with a burst of speed, walking alongside the moving stretcher.
“Any abdominal pain? Has Dr. Robby already been inform–” Dr. King nodded twice, affirming.
"Dr. Robby asked to call you; he's in Trauma 2, a critical case." Laurie took a deep breath and gently touched the patient's stomach, who let out a groan of pain. “Abdominal pain on the left side, worsening on the way here.”
"I see that, Dr. King, thank you." Laurie was more annoyed with herself than with Mel, actually.
She knew she'd been asking about Robby whenever she could, avoiding surgeries like a frightened cat avoids thunder and rain. Robby had been making things easier for her, but it obviously wouldn't last long since it was not really for her — more for the patients than anything. It was her job, but Robby seemed to be testing her little by little, or he was just really busy maintaining her on standby. She wouldn't be able to find out unless she asked him, something she certainly would not do.
The letter from her psychiatrist was folded in her pocket. Perhaps when Laurie handed the letter to Robby, he could tell her why he was trusting her with these cases. Of course her boss would tell her why he did what he did. That’s exactly how the workplace functions.
“I feel.. really dizzy..” The woman on the stretcher couldn't keep her eyes open. Laurie looked at Mel, waiting for a response.
“Possible splenic rupture. Internal bleeding?” Laurie sensed the doubt in the resident's voice, but Dr. King knew her had answered correctly before receiving confirmation.
“Exactly.” Laurie raised her voice slightly as she noticed two more interns nearby. “We need a FAST ultrasound now. Type and cross. Prepare the operating room.”
It was a very strong inner desire to let Dr. King handle that case. But to her own dismay, Laurie had always been very worried about what might happen if she wasn't present in the operating room, or anywhere else.
Her first years of residency were difficult; she was alone at times she shouldn't have been, and those students who would come after her shouldn't have to go through the same due to her traumas. And she couldn’t really say no to someone with an internal bleeding.
Even the most competent resident, the most emotionally strong, would somehow have that protective shell crumble, as Laurie experienced a few weeks ago. They were all there together, and at some point, their minds would fall into a sordid abyss of exaggerated, inevitable deep empathy. Unless you're the perfect Dr. Garcia, of course.
Laurie went into the operating room, promptly putting on her gloves and blue gown. They had already administered general anesthesia; the patient was now intubated. Laurie seemed to have missed something, as if she'd blinked once and time had passed faster than it should have, as soon as she opened her eyes again.
All the students were quick and clever, impressive even more so than she was years ago. Dr. Garcia took charge of the case, since Laurie seemed to have taken too long, as if they didn’t take their sweet time upstairs.
“Dr. King, what do we have?” Laurie seemed to ask more out of shameful curiosity than to test her knowledge, since everything was progressing normally.
“There's a massive hemoperitoneum. The spleen is ruptured. We will have to remove it.” Dr. Garcia gave a brief general summary. Mel looked at the two of them confused, as did everyone else in the room who had their hands occupied. The atmosphere was awkward.
“What do you think, Dr. King? Is there no chance of saving it?” The hard look at Laurie didn't shake her as she'd expected; she felt braver, perhaps because she's increasingly dissatisfied with everything. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with that bullshit power play right now, especially from someone who was in the same fucking level as her.
"Y-yes! I mean, no! I don't think so!" Mel continued manual ventilation, squeezing the bag rhythmically.
“Okay, so start the splenectomy. Good job, Dr. Garcia.” Laurie smiled toothlessly, a disgusted gaze still fixed on her. She removed her gloves and apron; it wasn't the best idea, but she was confident they wouldn't need her there anymore.
After all, Garcia came down to save the day once again.
“Hey, Dana, when’s Langdon coming back?” Laurie asked, her bleary eyes looking at her clock.
Time seemed to pass so quickly, she didn’t know if it was because of the meds, the natural hurry or she simply had a headache so strong that she felt as if time moved differently.
“I’m really not sure, Laurie” she answers half heartedly, more interested in her own job. “Only Robby can answer you that, if he can.”
Laurie hums, passing her hands through her face.
“Where’s he, anyway?” she asks, looking over her shoulder as if he would suddenly appear. “I need to talk to him.”
Dana snorts, pushing her glasses up.
“Who doesn't, sweetheart?”
Although Dana was right, she really needed to deliver the letter already. She didn’t know how the deadline worked, didn't even know if he actually remembered his demands. No, she couldn’t be so optimistic, of course he did.
“Maybe you should look for Whitaker, the boy is a little magnet for Robinavitch.”
Laurie snickers, taking one of her protein bars from inside her pocket. She offered a bite for Dana, who denied with a smile and pointing at her black coffee.
Santos steps besides her, the counter having an uncomfortable silence while they both checked for their names on the tracking board.
Contrary to what Santos seemed to thought — the girl was avoiding her all week, it was getting fucking annoying — Laurie did not have anything against her. Of course she got mad at the mention of her little accident, of course she thought that she told Robby. But then she took the matter to her psychiatrist who made sure to put the correct version of the story on her head.
Even if she did tell, even if Laurie was still kind of mad for being confronted, she knew that the girl meant well. She was just too thick to understand that maybe Laurie didn’t need help from a complete stranger, but it was not really her fault.
“I saw the chest tube you placed on that old lady.” Laurie says, making Santos turn at her. “It was really good.”
She doesn’t immediately answer, but soon gives her a smile.
“Thank you.”
Robby was missing all day.
It felt like karma. Or maybe they both were so busy that she hadn’t noticed him around her in the trauma rooms, or the triage, or the beds. It was strange, very strange. It was almost as if he didn’t want the letter she fought so hard for. Her psychiatrist wrote it with a very disappointed face.
Well, too bad, she needed to work, even if it meant taking medicine she certainly didn't need.
Opening her locker, she could barely look at the tupperware filled with muffins on the bottom. They had sat there all day and were getting uglier and uglier. It didn’t matter that much, she didn’t mean anything about it. Not anything deep, at least. It was more something like gratitude for Michael — yes, government name for this — not throwing her away the moment he found out the dangerous game she played with herself for trying to hide the accident.
It was actually her mother who suggested —and basically made the whole thing. She didn’t know she was supposed to return the favor, she would just give back the letter and move on with her life. Probably try to ignore the whole thing, move out when she finished the residency and never see him again because the shame was too deep.
But, well, there were better ways to pretend things didn’t happen. Like five blueberry muffins. She didn’t even know if he liked blueberries. He was old, he probably did. Abbot did.
“Dr. Reed–”
“Fuck!”
Laurie jumps, the voice of the man she was thinking was suddenly scaring her — again.
She closes the locker door lightly, turning her body towards Robby who had a guilty smile on his face. She knew it was not his intention to jumpscare her, but it certainly seemed to become a recurrence now.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it.” he says and she nods, going for one of her front pockets.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Laurie takes a deep breath and holds the letter out to Robby before he even has a chance to say anything. "The letter from my psychiatrist, as you requested."
"Oh, sure." He takes the letter and looks at Laurie with raised eyebrows, as if he'd momentarily forgotten the request he'd made to her. Robby reaches for his glasses, unfolding the crumpled letter. "So, how are you doing?"
Laurie felt strange with that question; Not about the question itself, but that it was becoming increasingly common for people around her to constantly ask things like how she was, if she was okay, if she needed any assistance. She just knew it wasn't a sincere concern. It was undeniably annoying every time, but she felt she wouldn't mind if Robby wanted to ask her more often. She would like to be fine.
“I'm fine, I've been busy.” She crossed her arms in front of her body while Robby read the letter. "It's better to be busy. I imagine you must get so busy you don't have time to think about all the shit."
“No, not really. This behaviour actually makes it worse.” Robby glances over his glasses, folding the letter back to its original crumpled shape. Laurie didn't know exactly what that reaction was, and even though she knew she hadn't done anything wrong, she questioned herself.
“Yes, that's true. It's really bad.” Robby chuckled through his nose, and Laurie gave a small smile. It was rare to see him laugh at anything; perhaps he found her pathetic, in a way you find a puppy pathetic, the silly way if she was to be more positive.
"I'm not the best example of self-care in this hospital, but I know that not facing things that bother you, can become something worse later.” Robby sighs, seemingly reflecting on something while staring at the wall. ”It can even turn you into someone who can hinder others."
“You can bet my mother knows this better than anyone.” Laurie felt she was forcing the mood a bit with these jokes, but how else could she act with her boss who had just discovered she was potentially suicidal? Should she cry in front of him and show weakness? Not even if they threatened her with a gun to her head.
Robby maintained a friendly smile on his face, glancing behind Laurie, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Why did he keep staring at those lockers?
“Well..." He sighs again, deeper this time, He tensed his shoulders for a moment, his hands resting on his hips and his head down. Suddenly clapping his hands together energetically, making Laurie jump. "Let's go back to work.”
“Well, it’s actually the end of the day shift.”
“Not for me yet, Dr. Reed.”
Laurie shuffles clumsily in her place, looking back and remembering her half-open cupboard, with a bowl of muffins still inside. She feels his eyes on her, but only turns when Robby decides to break the weird silence.
“Dr. Reed, don't make me worry about you, okay? But know that if that happens, I will drag you out of here and send you to Bali."
"Okay, don't worry." Laurie nodded in affirmation with a hidden smile. Being thrown to Bali by him wouldn't be a bad choice.
Robby squeezed her shoulder lightly, that characteristic action which could become a habit since he seemed to do it more often when she was around. He turned to walk back down the hallway, to all that stressful mess.
"Wait, I have..." She really cursed herself for not just letting him go, it was so silly. Robby followed her movements with his eyes to the cupboard, she was taking out a clear container with brightly colored muffins, arranged together.
"My mom made some blueberry muffins and there are some left over. I was thinking about how you helped me and didn't just kick my ass on the street..." Her mom could have messed up the recipe and put salt instead of sugar. Laurie started to freak out inside her head. "Anyway, I wanted to thank you. Thanks..."
That was awkward. She must have the same look on her face that Whitaker made when Santos asked him to explain how he used to milk cows, back in the farm. The worst part was when he actually explained it to everyone. God, he usually was more socially inept than her, but today she had outsmarted him.
He stares for a few seconds, that seemed to be minutes because of the shame Laurie felt irradiating from her body. She couldn’t look up, so when she felt the usual weight of the container off of her hand, the tiny flicker of something like pride made its way inside her body.
“Thank you?” he sounds and looks confused when she looks up at his face properly.
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” she mumbles, turning her body away from him and finally taking out her backpack from the locker. “It’s blueberries, I figure you would like it.”
He answers with nothing but a chuckle, and Laurie can only turn her face away when she finally feels his body move out of the room. And of course, bumping right into Whitaker who was a mess of apologies and a scrub way too small at the calves.
Robby doesn’t seem to mind as he opens the tupperware and silently offers one of his — or hers — muffins.
“M-me?” He asks so quietly that Laurie almost can’t hear, and Robby nods wordlessly as the younger boy takes one of the ugly muffins for himself. “Thank you?”
She’s not sure if he heard Dennis, because when he finishes the first word she can’t see him anymore.
She really regrets the muffins now.