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Roy crush on Ed. Doesn’t want to admit it to himself, plus he’s got more important things to do, like be on top (lol) (of the food chain) sir yes sir! Roy can’t stop looking at that pony tail, like gold waterfall. Ed’s 23rd birthday coming up, Roy gets invitation to the “rly low key party”, his heart goes dokidoki. He goes and it turns out everyone from military is there and he feel :( . He watch Ed talk to Whinry all night. They too close. Ed too interested for Roy liking. Ed notices him and comes over *Lo and behold, she's walkin' over to me. This must be fake, my lip starts to shake.* Ed says “hey bastard blah blah”, Roy goes “oh yeah? Blah blah”. Ed actually laughs at that, Roy feels warm and nice inside but hate himself why he like this brat agh, he drink a bit much whatever. They sink deeper into couch. Ed turns his head to say something to Al, his ponytail flicks into Roys face a bit. Smells so good. Feels soft and tickles. Roy wonder how rest of him smells. Ed says “guess I’ll have to see ya at work colonel bastard heh >;)”. Roy agree cooly but inside and actually looks forward to work tomorrow! :).
Roy hope see Ed all day, no luck, he think “just keep working”, wait is that him?? .. no just random blond.. “Just keep working”. Al come by when day almost over to sector and say “btw brother told me to give you this, you left it at the party”, is pocket watch. Inside watch note says “stop leaving ur shit at my house…thanks for stopping by though. Later”. Heart not sure if dokidoki. But hand written personal note! So a bit dokidoki!
He go home and take shower and think of Ed and think about how gorgeous and brilliant and peppy and unapologetic Ed is and how he SHINES and his crockpot goes boioioioing. He annoyed, he crush on person everyone love and younger than him. He beat meat anyway. Drink lot and sleep on couch. Wake up, back hurt, neck hurt, sleep bad. Get coffee, ok better. Go work, Hawkeye berate him for lateness. He hear Havoc talk about how Roy is such a lady killer, Roy think “i wish lol, muuch easier than like pretty boy”. Ugh want to smell his hair again. Slams face into desk. Everyone go???? King bradley knock on door, everybody go !!!! Fuhere says “now now relax” everybody phews. Talk about mliitary new stuff blah blah. “Mutter mutter not important General Hakuro getting promotion! He be able to make decision about bank of wahetver”. Turn to Mustang and “says maybe that’ll be you one day!” Sideye to mustang knowingly. Mustang Grrrrr. Mustang think “I should be fuhrer, I would be better, I wanna be boss so no one tell me what do! Ever!!” . King leaves. Ed comes in for blah blah, want more grant money for research with Al. Makes eye contact with Mustang and is fleeting, but mustang wants. More! Attention! >:( . Mustang goes “soo… *eyebrows eyebrows* plausible deniable flirting under disguise of banter and picking on him” Ed go “yeah yeah be annoying back”.
Ed laughing but suddenly looks at time and looks panic. “Oh shit i gotta go!” Mustang goes :(. Ed wave bye bye everyone. Mustang wanna know where he go, so follow quiet like mouse. He see Ed disappear into Furher office. He put ear to door, no hear anything. He suspect private bathroom by office can hear through. He transmute door discretely. He ends up in interrogation room, one way mirror. Can see Ed and Fuher talking in office, but they can’t see him. They seems to be talking paper work. Then King stands and says something to whisper in Ed ear, Ed blush. King put hand on Ed waist and pulls him slightly closer. Ed put hands on King chest. Roy goes O.O King captures Ed kiss, Ed seems into it and puts arms around neck. Roy feel so paralyzed. Angry JEALOUS. King is king AND have pretty boy???!! He can’t have both!! AND HE’S OLD. Not fair. I’m hot, he’s not. I’m supposed to be more desirable! Roy wants to barge in and go “NO!” but he know he can’t so just frozen in spot watching everything. King gets bolder, Ed gets flustered and starts breathing heavier. Roy stressed and think “If it’d known Ed was into men I’d gave gone for it sooner! He beat me to it! AGHGG”. King gently push Ed on back on office table. Ed goes he’s pliable and barely audible moan. Heavy Make-out sesh. King take elastic out of Ed hair, flows out like gold rush. Roy goes OMG whaaaa. Transfixed!! Ed closes eyes taken away by sensation. Roy doesn’t know what he’s still doing here, but still can’t move. King nipping at Ed, take off Ed shirt. Ed put hand against King chest “wait!” he say. Roy think YEAH ED STOP HIM!! “I wanna see you too, unbutton your shirt”. NOOOOOOOO. King say “are you ordering the fuhrer around?”. Ed big smirk and say "absolutely siiiir…”. CHEMISTRY? HOW? ON MY BIRTHDAY?! Oh ya it Roy 28th birthday also. More clothes on the floor. Escalation. “Fuck ur big..” shut up shut up shut up. “Too big for you?” Ed smirk again, “no, perfect”. STOOOP. Obscene BJ noises. Roy on slumped on floor. “Nghh.. want you inside me”. Fuherer playful “your wish is my command edward”. I SHOULD BE IN THAT POOF. AHHGHGHG!! “Please,,,as ha-a-a-ard as you c-can!!” Ed stutters, ueyes roll back, can’t breathe, can’t think, too hot. Anal ecstasy ensues. Roy can’t watch anymore, exits the crime scene.
Roy goes back to his office and sits there 50 minutes shell-shocked head in hands. …… ……………………… ………………… I. SHOULD. BE. IN. THAT… POOOOOOF!! Knock on door, Breda say “Sorry did I hear you say you wanted me copy of Poof Magazine?”. Roy snaps, GET OUT. Breda scurries away. Roy go home, think about alchemy, think about Ed gasping, think about Alchemy, think Ed soft looking shoulders and neck on desk, fuck. Get bottle whisky, drink whole thing, doodle alchemy shit on paper… Wake up next morning on floor. Late for work. Fuck. Remember Ed gasping. Boioioioing. FUCK.
Gets to work, bags under eyes, shoulder killing him from floor sleeping. Hawkeye say “Sir! You’re late. Sir… do you smell of booze?”. Roy say “not now” all grumpy. Hawkeye confused and bit suspicious. Day go by, “Hey Ed! How’s it going?” say Breda. Roy head snap up! “Hey Breda, I’m Great!” “Wow you’re sure bright eyed and bushy tailed today!” Ed scratches back of head awkwardly “what can i say? I’ve been in my head a lot lately since Al’s been on a new lead of Alkhesry’s connection to red water. But last night got some much needed distraction and and exercise- I mean extra eyes.. on my new.. report! felt good to not think for a bit!” BANG. Roy head hit desk. Ed looks at Breda “what’s up with him?” “Idk he’s been a bit weird lately”. Ed approach muttering Roy. “So colonel, you gonna look at my report or your panties too in a bunch?” “Watch it.. I’m still your CO” Roy grumps. “Panties in a bunch, got it.” say Ed. “Hmm..Plus.. i’m not sure how much you being my commanding officer is gonna matter much soon. Turns out I’m better at ordering people around than i thought” Ed says thoughtfully. Roy snaps his pencil. “Ok Fullmetal, leave the report on the desk, then out. Out out out”. As Roy shoos Edward away, “hey ok! I’ll go!” Ed whips around and ponytail grazes Roys face again. Roy stills. Smells so good. softens him immediately. Heart dokidoki. Crap.. he’s in so much trouble. “Whatever” Ed say “later geezer” and leave. HAAAAAH? He DARE? HE. DARE? After WHO he was with yesterday?? Ed raspy inaudible moan and jaw going slack memory sneaks into his head. Boioioioioioioing. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE - ARGH!
Mustang goes to bathroom stall, starts fucking into his fist “god damn- insubordinate little- brat-” Roy gets distracted by remebering how good ponytail smells and whisps on face. Want to.. run fingers in soft gold hair. Want to grab fistful of hair and pull- “fuuu” …. Looks at cum in hand. OK fine, ed is annoyingly cute. Looks up at God “I GET it”. Gotta wash sticky hand, only to realize turn tap, no water.