Chapter Text
Epilogue
Hyunjin POV
“What the fuck did you two do to the table?”
Binnie’s voice held a note of despair, like he already had a hunch and really didn’t want to be proven right.
Hyunjin felt a blush rise to his cheeks, even as he clenched his teeth and tried desperately not to think about that night, two months ago when he’d proposed and then proceeded to fuck Felix within an inch of his life.
Or the day a few weeks later when Felix had declared it “his turn” and he’d been laid out himself with a feral blond on top of him and a terrifyingly wobbly table underneath.
But something he’d learned over the last few months was that Felix had zero shame. So instead of blushing and stuttering out a lie like a normal person would, the blond merely smiled wide and shouted back across the apartment, “More like what did we not do on that table!”
Changbin groaned, loud and long as he floated from the dining room to the kitchen where Felix was elbow deep in building a lasagna from scratch. The bulky brunette had a tall stack of plates cradled in his arms, napkins resting on top. Hyunjin couldn’t help but notice how Felix’s eyes wandered appreciatively to his best friend’s straining muscles.
The taller man glared, abandoning his assigned post at the cutting board and sliding his own sore arm around the blond’s waist. He may or may not have been putting in some more time at the gym lately.
Felix smirked up at him, well aware of what he was doing before turning his attention back to a grumbling Changbin.
“Well then where are we gonna eat?”
“The living room, like always,” Felix said easily, carefully laying down another layer of noodles like he was practicing the lost art of masonry.
“And here I thought we were going to have a classy dinner but nope! You had to fuck the table into the ground like animals.”
Felix tilted his head back and laughed, the sound so joyous that it pierced through Hyunjin’s own embarrassment, pulling a chuckle from him too. Even Changbin was not immune as a begrudging smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He shook his head and muttered something like “assholes in love,” before leaving the kitchen to set up the living room for company.
When the group chat had calmed down moderately from the news of their engagement, Chan had demanded a family dinner to celebrate. But schedules had been busy and travel had been rampant and this was the first weekend in so long that they all could gather without a looming meeting or rehearsal.
And this time, instead of letting Chan go through the full cycle of stress, denial and defeat when it came to cooking, Felix had jumped in and offered, nay insisted, on cooking. No one had the heart to deny their sunshine anything ever but his cooking? As long as Seungmin was not present in the kitchen, there wasn’t a single one amongst them who could turn it down.
So here they were on a Saturday night, Hyunjin running around behind Felix and picking up as the blond made an absolute mess of the kitchen. It was one of the many things he now couldn't wait to practice in their new apartment they’d just signed the paperwork on.
But with the move date still a month out, he’d make due with shadowing Felix around he and Changbin’s apartment whilst his best friend rolled his eyes and declared Hyunjin ‘helpless’ at least once a day.
Hyunjin was broken from his daydreams of their new apartments and all the tables they could destroy in peace once they moved in when he felt a sharp bite to his bicep.
He clenched his mouth shut just a second too late, a moan escaping from between his teeth like a hiss.
He felt Felix’s giggle against his skin before a smaller little nip to his arm followed. This time he was able to unclench his eyes and shoot a heated glare down to his partner who was grinning up at him.
“Angel…” He warned. The blond knew how much he liked that. Over the last few months, they had well and truly explored that kink. But now, less than an hour before all of their friends showed up was not the time.
“But Hyunnie,” Felix whined, making his eyes round and irresistible as he pouted. “I thought you loved when I gave you bites.” He rocked up on his tip-toes, trying his hardest to get nose to nose. “Do you not want my bites?”
Hyunjin sighed, giving him a dead glare and grumbling, “Stop being a brat, you know I do. But it’s impolite to have a boner when you’re hosting a dinner.”
The blond laughed, craning his neck to give Hyunjin a quick kiss before falling back to his flat feet and giving him some mercy. He walked back over to his nearly completed lasagna to finish it off and Hyunjin did what he did best: trailed after him.
He slid his arms around the shorter man, hugging him from behind as he propped his chin on his shoulder and watched his little hands carefully cover the top of the dish in shredded cheese.
It was the small moments of domesticity like this that filled Hyunjin to the absolute brim with love and affection. He could see it so clearly, the way they’d do exactly this a year from now, five years, fifty years. He could imagine coming back to their shared space after months touring. The way they’d fall into their bed, so happy to finally be home.
He could see, years from now, how they’d grapple with the end of Stray Kids, the end of an era. And in the event that Jisung didn’t get his wish of buying a lot of land and building houses all next door to one another, then at least he’d have Felix to help him navigate.
He could see a secret wedding, one that their company would help them orchestrate. One that they approved of and followed the utmost discretion. And he could see a bigger wedding years from now. When their idol image wasn’t the same or perhaps when the world had changed enough for less people to care.
They’d informed the company of their relationship and engagement in one go. Funnily enough, no one at the label had asked how long they’d been together. They’d all just assumed it had been years and, as was expected after so long together, the engagement had felt almost more inevitable to them than surprising. In fact, their manager had merely raised his brows, nodded and said, “I really thought it would be Minho and Jisung first, but okay.”
Of course they’d been forced to sign NDAs, they’d been damn near swore by oath to secrecy and promised up, down and sideways that they would do their utmost to act with discretion in public.
But despite all of that, all the hoops they had to jump through and all the red tape, it felt right to have it all out in the open. At least as much as they could be.
He settled in, widening his stance and bending his knees to sink in against the blond’s back. He was so warm, humming in the kitchen while he worked. It was crazy to him that they hadn’t always been like this.
Eventually, he was forced to let go as Lix put the food in the oven and the doorbell rang in rapid succession, meaning it was Seungmin looking to start their evening off with chaos.
Felix giggled at it while Binnie rushed to the door, letting the animals in.
“Well, well, well,” Seungmin said, hands in pockets, smirk in place. “If it isn’t the traitor.”
Felix huffed, hands on hips in full bitch mode. “Seungminnie, stop that! I am not a traitor!”
“You left me to live all alone and now I have to live with Changbin.”
“Hey! What’s so bad about living with me?”
“He’s a pretty good roommate,” Hyunjin offered, “He poisons everything with protein powder but he’s pretty clean.”
Binnie’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, sorry for helping you with your gains. At least I’m not yelling don’t stop at three in the fucking morning.”
Hyunjin felt his face flame up, even as Felix laughed joyfully beside him. The thin walls had indeed been a bit of a problem.
“Don’t worry Binnie, we’ll be out of your hair soon enough,” Felix soothed, starting to wipe down the counters without Hyunjin even having to ask. It was something the blond was determined to get better at before they officially moved in together, saying it wasn’t fair that he got to have all the fun in the kitchen cooking and Hyunjin cleaning up after him.
Yet another thing to add to the ridiculously long list of things Hyunjin loved about him.
The group finally melted into the living room, piling onto the couches and chairs, legs overlapping and arms over shoulders. Even with the massive couch they’d bought to fit all of them, they still ended up shoved side to side, never able to sit and not have some point of contact.
It was something Hyunjin had leaned on a lot in the beginning; the excuse he used to keep Felix close. But they no longer needed that. Now he simply sat on the couch and held out his arms, letting the blond settle down in his lap like it was easy as breathing. Like he belonged there. And he did.
He cuddled up, Hyunjin only half listening to the conversation around him as he toyed with the ring on Felix’s finger. They still hadn’t gotten it sized yet because Felix refused to part with it more than he already had to.
Sometimes he’d wear it out in public, switching it to the intended index finger and trying his hardest not to draw too much attention to it. But of course the internet had noticed. They’d noticed the ring was from Cartier. They’d connected the dots between Hyunjin’s ambassadorship and Felix’s new favorite accessory.
They’d stayed up late one night, scrolling through Twitter and giggling at all the edits and theories. If only they knew the whole story. Maybe one day they could share it and thank them for their support.
But until then, Felix would insist on wearing it as soon as he got home, popping it back over to the correct finger and sleeping with it on.
A loud snap beside his ear brought him violently back from his daydreams. He glared at a cackling Minho.
“What?”
Minho's smirk only grew. “Just asking when the wedding is.”
“When is your wedding?” Hyunjin shot back, watching in surprise and delight as Minho's face turned sheet white, Jisung leaning forward dramatically. “Yeah Minnie! When is your wedding?”
He wiggled his ring less finger, a joking judgement on his face that perfectly straddled the line between serious and not.
Hyunjin could only imagine they'd had this very conversation hundreds of times over the years. Felix giggled, looping his arms around Hyunjin's neck and clinging to him with glee as they watched Minho stutter something about how he was working on it.
“Minnie,” Jisung interrupted, placing a soft hand on Minho's shoulder and giving him a kind smile. “I don't need a wedding. I have you and that's enough.”
Felix cooed, tightening his arms and Hyunjin felt his heart flutter. He loved romance.
“However, I do want a fucking rock like Lixie.” He reached across Minho and Hyunjin to pluck Felix's hand off of Hyunjin, angling his ring and letting it sparkle in the light.
The blond fucking beamed.
“Hyunjinnie did so good,” He said, admiring his own ring before turning those sparkling eyes on Hyunjin. God, he’d waited his entire life to have Felix look at him like this. According to everyone else, it had been happening for years but he’d been too dense to see it.
He blushed, not sure what to say to a compliment like that and Felix just giggled, leaning in to give him a little kiss that had Changbin throwing a pillow across the room at them and Innie pretending to vomit.
“You two are worse than Minsung and I didn’t think that was possible,” Jeongin said, looking downright disgusted.
“You hear that, Minnie?” Jisung said, shaking his head, “We’ve been dethroned.”
His boyfriend merely shrugged, utterly unaffected by this. But Jisung continued on, still shaking his head sadly. “You know what could put us back on top? A fucking rock like-”
Minho clamped an arm over his boyfriend’s neck, pulling him into a headlock that instantly had Jisung screaming for mercy between peels of laughter.
Felix took the opportunity to slip away to check on dinner. Hyunjin had to grip the arm of the couch to force himself not to follow. It was just so easy to drift after him like a shadow. He’d been doing it for years and he had no plans to stop anytime soon.
It took another thirty minutes and a few wild rounds of Mario Kart before Felix announced that dinner was ready. Chan naturally corralled everyone through the line, making sure everyone had something to drink even though it wasn’t even his house.
With everyone’s plates loaded up, Hyunjin shooed Felix out of the kitchen, insisting that the cook shouldn’t do all the cleaning and that the dish needed to start soaking.
He turned the temperature up on the water, tapping a finger into the stream every few seconds to monitor the temperature. When it made him flinch, he finally placed the glass dish in the sink and let it fill to the very brim.
But as he was grabbing the soap, he heard someone shuffle in behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, half expecting it to be Felix asking if he was sure he didn’t need any help. Instead, it was Minho, walking in and ripping off several sheets off the paper towel roll.
“Jisung already spilled,” He said without prompting and Hyunjin merely rolled his eyes.
“Of course he did.”
“Some things never change,” Minho said, a fond smirk in place. “But some things do,” He added, his expression losing a little of that smirk and growing more fond. It was rare to see that look on Minho’s face. Not because he was cold or unfeeling like some thought. But because he was selective in who he shared this side of himself with. “Like you and Lix.”
Hyunjin nodded, biting his bottom lip. He remembered months ago, that conversation in the halls of JYP. Sweaty and fighting every shred of hope he found, Minho had simply told him to look. To see the way that Felix looked at him when he walked in a room.
It had been a turning point for him.
“You finally figured your shit out,” Minho said, obviously remembering the same conversation.
Hyunjin chuckled, looking up from under his lashes to smile at his friend. “Not going to die alone.”
“Told you so,” Minho said effortlessly. But he still reached out and patted Hyunjin on the shoulder before turning and walking out with his mile high stack of paper towels.
They went through a whole roll that night, Jisung spilling a second soda and Seungmin getting pasta sauce all over his shirt.
It was messy and chaotic and a controller was nearly hurled at the screen after a passionate comeback attempt by Chan in Mario Kart.
But eventually the giggles and screams turned to yawns and Changbin whining and begging Seungmin to let him sleep over at his place because he wanted to ‘sleep in peace’. The pan in the sink was scrubbed clean and the counters given one last wipe down as everyone did their best to pick up cans and napkins and clean up after themselves.
And then the door was closing and the apartment was empty and quiet.
Hyunjin walked back from the front door to find Felix sitting on his knees on the living room floor, pulling out the massive binder he stored under there. Their wedding binder.
Felix treated it with the utmost care and reverence. He was pretty sure they could take oaths on that thing with how sacred it had become.
“Jin!” Felix crowed as soon as he had the binder pulled out. He patted the floor beside himself excitedly and opened the binder to the middle. It made a distinctive thud that Hyunjin wondered if their downstairs neighbors could hear. “Come ‘ere!”
He folded himself down on the floor next to Felix, letting his legs unfurl in front of him. The blond effortlessly draped his legs over Hyunjin’s, refusing to sit side by side and not touch in some way.
“Look!” He declared proudly, flipping a head a few pages to the color palette section. “I need your help. I can’t decide which is better. Dark and moody or soft and romantic?”
Hyunjin hummed, taking in the swatches and running through every design aspect he knew. “Fall or spring wedding?” he asked.
The blond shrugged like he knew he would. “Dunno yet.”
“Well if it’s spring, then I think we should go soft and romantic. But dark and moody feels more winter to me, ya know?”
Felix nodded heartily, jotting down little notes in the margins. “I had a feeling you would say that.”
Hyunjin chuckled, slowly starting to massage the calves tossed over his lap. “Then why ask?”
“Because it’s our wedding. You and me. I want you to be involved.”
Hyunjin felt himself melting like he always did when Felix insisted on planning their
futures together.
“As long as you’re there at the altar, I’m good.” He said, feeling cheesy but knowing that it would make Lix melt a little in return.
And sure enough, he did. His eyes got all glossy and sweet, the corners crinkling in a way that always felt like an arrow straight through Hyunjin’s heart.
“Jinnie,” Felix sighed, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
“Angel,” Hyunjin said in return, turning his head to catch his lips before they strayed too far. He held him softly, teasing another sigh out of the blond before releasing him.
Felix blinked at him slowly, like he was coming back from a wonderful dream. He blinked a few times before his smile grew wider and he whispered. “Bed time?”
“Bed time.”
The blond shoved the hefty binder back under the couch while Hyunjin worked on turning off the lights. With the apartment shut down, they made their way to Hyunjin’s bedroom. They still shut the door, even though Binnie had left with Seungmin.
And in the glow of meager moonlight, Hyunjin watched as Felix undressed. It was simple. Not a strip tease or a show. Simply a man getting ready for bed with his lover. And that was sort of what Hyunjin loved best about it. Because it felt natural. It felt like it was practice for forever. It felt like the beginning of so many nights. Nights that would never, ever get old because he had sunshine drenched in moonlight and looking at him like he hung the stars.
Hyunjin pulled his clothes off too and slid under the covers. He waited for Felix to take his contacts out, coming back in and sliding in right after him. Cold skin to cold skin, starting to warm one another.
“Hey,” Hyunjin whispered.
“Hey,”
He felt lips press against his neck, covering his pulse and melting into it. His bones became lax, not doing their job very well as the mattress sucked him in, the blond shuffling further on top of him to aid in his journey downward.
“Love you, Lixie.” He muttered, sleep finding him faster than he’d expected.
He felt another kiss to his neck, his pulse jumping to greet it. “I love you more.”
The brunette used his last power to shake his head. “Nu-uh.”
Felix giggled. “Okay well…I fell first.”
That wasn’t true. Hyunjin had loved him from the very beginning. He just hadn’t realized it. He hadn’t known what those big, scary feelings were. He hadn’t even known himself yet, let alone how to label big feelings like love and devotion. But Felix had.
He couldn’t fix that. He couldn’t go back in time and tell his younger self that he was indeed in love with his best friend. But he could look back on the last few years. The terror, followed by acceptance and then terror again. A fear that Felix would never love him back in the same way.
But he had. And what was more, he’d loved him back for years. Just as Hyunjin had. Just as he planned to do until the day he died. It had taken him time to get here, but he’d make up for it as time went on.
So sure, Felix could say he’d fallen first.
“Fine. But I fell harder.” He stated proudly, with every intention to make sure that became the truth.