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I'm so sorry that this isn't a chapter update like you were probably hoping for. The good thing is, this authors note will eventually lead to another chapter, but I felt like I needed to post and ask like this because ao3 is an archive, not a social media platform. I didn't know how else to reach out the readers I do have on this story.
To the readers I do have, thank you so so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate you.
So life has been life-ing with me pretty hard recently and there was a part of me that thought, no, I can't do this anymore, I need to shelve this because it's affecting me. The way I look at it now though, I don't think this story was the issue at all. I won't go into great detail as you don't need my shit, but things have been piling up and piling up for quite some time with me and everything just became too much and my brain just went nope, stop. The other thing I have to deal with when it comes to my brain is that when I get bad, I decide to destroy and I end up attacking the things I create. This is why I no longer have the eighty odd chapters that I used to have for the original version of Wonderland.
You have no idea how upset I am about not having those chapters.
I honestly don't think it's the story though, it's how i deal with things. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to destruction with the new rewrite and I just had to step away, thinking that this was what needed to be done or I was only going to end up regretting things yet again.
Anywhoooo... the point of this authors note is that during the past week, I have found myself drawn back to this story and it has actually been helping me in an amazing way. I've been rewriting the first four chapters. Don't worry, nothing major has changed. I've just changed wording on things or have added in a few ne lines here and there. Basically, what I am trying to say is that I am working on this story again, but I don't know if I should just change the chapters to the newer versions once I'm all caught back up to the lastest chapter up, or if I should just post everything under a new story.
I know what I would like to do, but you are the ones that read this story so I feel like you guys should at least be able to voice how you would like to conitnue reading.
That is if you want to keep reading. You don't have to, but I want to keep writing so.... yeah.
Please do let me know what you think. Any input will be truly appreciated and once I've decided what I'm going to do I can say. I am on social media. I have a twitter with the same username and same with tiktok (slightly different, @mxtherpanic) so if you want I can say there what is going on, or if you keep tabs and want a new fic instead of changing this one then just keep tabs on a new fic coming up. But honestly, as long as I can just go with sloooow updates and still keep going then I think everything will be fine.
This story, after so many years and changes, is still my baby and I swear one day I will finish this. I am so damn determined, I promise.
Anyway, let me know in the comments what you would prefer and I guess in one way or another I will see you soon with an update.
Have fun guys and if you're currently in the UK, stay hydrated, stay in the shade and wear sunscreen.
byee :)