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Buck would not say that he is altogether proud of the way he handled Eddie moving to El Paso with only vague intentions of return, but he's willing to cut himself some slack. Firstly, while he definitely has some regrets about hooking up with Tommy, he's going to blame that particular lapse in judgement on Ravi.
Seriously, what kind of friend foists you onto your recent ex just because they don't want to deal with your emotional anguish at a bar? The terrible kind, that's who.
Secondly, Buck thinks that some minor relapses of old habits can be excused when one is processing the revelation that seven years of best-friendship might've had some homoromantic undertones—at least, on his end. Is it possible for a relationship to have one-sided undertones? Unrequited undertones? No, Buck thinks, that's ridiculous. What the hell is an unrequited undertone?
His and Eddie's friendship can have homoromantic undertones without Eddie having any homoromantic feelings. That wouldn't be weird. It would just be... kind of strange.
Maybe Buck has spent years longing to make Eddie and Chris his family, without ever putting a name to the feeling. That might create some undertones. It's not like Eddie has ever really discouraged Buck from inserting himself into their lives. He put Buck in his will! To be Christopher's guardian! In the event of!
But Eddie has an excuse, Buck thinks. Eddie's a single dad. He doesn't need homoromantic feelings to justify involving his best friend in his domestic life more than is strictly necessary. It just worked out that way, because Buck is a reliable presence in their lives—unlike any of the women Eddie has dated.
But Eddie could have homoromantic feelings, especially because he never really seems to like the women he dates. That's why it's so tragic that Buck only had this realization when Tommy and Maddie started making weird comments about it!
And that's why Buck feels like a little bit of a relapse into the realm of casual sex was totally understandable. In fact, it's technically still Ravi's fault. He wouldn't have gone and had sex with a woman who gave him her number on a call if he wasn't spiraling about only realizing he was in love with Eddie when he was living alone in Eddie and Chris's house. And he wouldn't have been spiraling if he didn't hook up with Tommy, which—as established—was definitely Ravi's fault.
The woman's name was Lindsay, and she'd been minorly involved in a major collision accident they'd responded to. She'd handed him her business card with a wink and told him to call her. Normally, Buck would've brushed that off and forgotten about it, but he'd hesitated, the next day, when he took the business card out of his pocket.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to get his mind off of things. A tiny, casual rebound from the Tommy drama.
He flipped over the card. Lindsay Fecteau. Apparently, she did freelance writing. Buck typed her number into his phone, and then thumbed out a message.
Hey, this is Buck. The firefighter. Wanna grab a drink tonight?
Hi Buck! Do I want to grab drinks with the hottest firefighter I've ever met? Definitely.
Six months later, after having hooked up with a handful of other people, come to terms with his feelings for Eddie, and received the very welcome news that Eddie and Chris were returning to LA, Buck got a new message from Lindsay.
Hey, can you call me? We need to talk.
If your brief relapse into the realm of casual sex results in you knocking someone up, can you still blame that on the coworker who handed you off to your ex at a bar and sparked a revelatory crisis about having feelings for your best friend? Yes, Buck thinks, but on second thought, he doesn't really want to give Ravi credit for the existence of his biological offspring.
Currently, Buck is sitting outside, at a cafe, with an obviously pregnant Lindsay. They're drinking strawberry-banana smoothies and staring each other down. It is a bit awkward.
"Why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew?" He asks her, frowning. Honestly, Buck's a bit confused by this. What was the point of waiting? Did she think he would've pressured her to get an abortion if she'd told him sooner?
"Honestly, I just didn't really want you to be involved. We don't know each other. It's not that I don't like you, but… I don't usually give my number to strangers, or hook up with them. I'd just broken up with my girlfriend, and then I found myself in that crazy pileup—almost completely unscathed! Maybe I was feeling a bit crazy." Lindsay sucks in a breath as her eyes dart around his face and land in her drink. She stirs it nervously with her straw.
"But… you want me to be involved, now? You were planning to be a single mom? But not anymore?" Buck asks, shifting in his chair and trying to catch her gaze again.
"Yes, I was planning to be a single mom. Or—I don't know. Maybe I thought Xantia would want to get back together, and that she would want to raise the baby with me." Lindsay continues to stare down at her strawberry smoothie. "It was stupid. I'm not ready to give it all up to be a mom. I probably won't ever be. And Xantia doesn't want kids! I just got caught up in it, for a sec. I was lonely." She sighs. "I've decided to give the baby up for adoption—unless you want her. I'd rather give her to you, if you're prepared to raise a kid." She finally looks up at him, eyebrows raised.
Buck stares at her for a second. "It's a girl? I mean—wait—don't give her up for adoption. I'll take her. Definitely!" Buck is half-standing up out of his chair. He can hear his heart racing. He sits back down. "I promise, I've always wanted to be a dad. And then you could be involved a little bit—if you wanted!"
"I don't want." Lindsay gives him a sharp look through her dyed-purple bangs. "If you take her, you'll have full custody."
"Are you sure?" Buck asks. "Not that I'd, like, try to trap you into taking care of her with me. It's just, you said you were originally planning to raise her. Are you sure you want to sign away all your parental rights?" Buck is starting to feel a bit lightheaded. And sweaty. This is insane, he thinks. This is probably one of the most important days of my entire life. I'm going to be a father. I have to tell Eddie!
Lindsay sighs. "I don't mind if she knows who I am, I guess. It doesn't have to be entirely no contact. But you'd definitely have full custody." She pauses. "Although, I do have a request. I didn't think you'd say yes to raising her on your own. But, if she goes to you, instead of an adoptive family…" She trails off.
Buck raises an eyebrow. "What is it?"
Lindsay works her jaw back and forth a bit. She seems to resolve herself, turning to face him fully. "Can I name her? I know it's selfish, but I've always thought about what I would name my future kids, if I had them. And then she would always have a piece of me to carry around with her." She wraps her arms around her stomach, and throws Buck a bit of a pleading look.
Buck smiles, grateful that he can grant her this. "Of course. You're doing all the hard work, so it's only fair. And I'll love her, no matter what her name is."
Two hours later, Buck is sitting in his sister's apartment, and she has a bit of a pinched look on her face. Buck has to give her credit—for the most part, Maddie has taken this news like a champ.
"I mean, I definitely think that undergoing the nine months of pregnancy warrants some naming rights, but what are you going to do if she names your baby something really weird? Like, what if your kid is named Mckayleighlee Brady, or something?"
Buck scoffs. "I don't think she's going to name the baby anything weird. And it wouldn't matter, even if she did. Is this really what you're focusing on right now?" He turns to continue to pace in Maddie and Chim's living room.
"You're right, Evan, I'm sorry," Maddie appeases. "You're excited about this, right? I'm really happy for you." She gets up to embrace him, interrupting his pacing. "And this means we'll have kids the same age!" she exclaims, pointing to her own stomach.
Buck allows his sister to hug him tight. He pulls back to grin at her shyly, ducking his head. "I guess so, Maddie. Pretty exciting," he lilts. Then he shoots her a serious look. "But no telling Chim until I tell Eddie. And Bobby."
"Okay, well, you had better tell them fast. I don't like keeping secrets from my husband." She sniffs.
"I'm going to, I promise. I don't know what Eddie is going to say, but he and Chris are coming back this weekend. Oh, wait—where am I going to live?" There are a million things Buck needs to figure out in the next three months.
"We'll figure it out, Evan. I promise. I know Eddie is going to be happy for you. You've helped out with Chris so much over the years, you're basically another parent to him. If anyone is going to have confidence in your child-raising abilities, it'll be Eddie. It's all going be okay."
"Thanks, Mads. I know it'll be great. I just wish Lindsay would've told me sooner." Buck frowns a little.
"Well, it sounds like, for a bit there, she wasn't planning to tell you at all. Count yourself lucky, little brother." Maddie claps him on the back and turns to settle back down on the couch. Buck gives her an anguished look.
"Maddie! Not funny!"
Back at the house, Buck debates whether to call Eddie now, or wait to tell him in person. Ideally, this is not the sort of news you break over the phone, but how weird would it be if he waited? Hi Eddie, hi Chris, welcome back to your house. Guess what? I'm having a baby! Sort of an awkward first in-person conversation.
Yes, Buck thinks, he'd better call Eddie now. Why is that suddenly terrifying?
He knows why, actually. It's because he wants him and Eddie and Chris and the baby to be a family. He wants to raise his daughter with Eddie. What if Eddie doesn't want that? What if Chris gets upset? Chris is a teenager now. What if Eddie and Chris decide to stay in El Paso because they think Buck should move on and have a family without them??
Okay, Buck thinks, that's probably not going to happen. And he usually tells Eddie everything, anyway. Before he can overthink it too much, Buck pulls out his phone and taps Eddie's contact. Eddie picks up after the third ring.
"Hey, Buck!" Eddie greets. Buck can hear the smile in his voice. Eddie has been in a good mood ever since Chris confessed that what he really wanted was to move back to LA, and why the hell did Eddie buy a house in El Paso? (Buck could've told Eddie that buying a house in El Paso was insane, but he's glad that Chris was the one to do it.)
"Hi, Eddie. Listen—" It's like ripping off a band-aid, right? Best to get this out of the way, upfront. "I got someone pregnant."
For a moment, there is silence on the other end of the line. Buck turns toward the mirror in the hallway and makes a face at himself. Why did he say it like that?
"Okay," says Eddie, hesitantly. "Who is it? Who did you get pregnant?"
"Her name is Lindsay."
More silence. "And she's going to… have the baby?" Eddie asks.
"Yes. She's due in three months. But she only just told me now."
"Oh, wow." Eddie sounds a bit shocked. "So, you're going to raise the baby with her?"
"No, no." Buck hurries to clarify. "She decided she doesn't want to be a mother. She wants to sign full custody over to me." He hears Eddie inhale on the other end of the line.
"Oh, Buck. But this is good news, right?" He seems to be gathering himself. "You've always wanted a family, kids."
"I have a family. You and Chris are my family." Saying that is a bit of a risk, Buck thinks, but it's true.
Eddie makes a bit of a weird noise. "Of course, Buck." He pauses. "I can't wait for us to be back in LA."
"But yes, I've wanted a baby for a long time," Buck continues. "I wasn't expecting to suddenly be having one, but this is definitely good news," he assures.
Eddie snorts. "You weren't expecting to be expecting. Well, neither was I, and then we had Chris. And Chris is the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Yes," says Buck, taking a deep breath. "It's amazing. It's a girl. I'm going to have a daughter." He can feel himself getting choked up, and he makes eye contact with himself in the mirror, again. Surreal. Is finding out that you're going to be a parent always a little bit surreal? It must be.
On the other end of the phone, Eddie gasps a bit. "Oh, a little baby Evan Buckley. A girl. A baby girl that'll look just like you, I bet."
In the background, Buck suddenly hears a voice that distinctly belongs to Chris. "Is Buck having a baby?!"
"Chris!" Eddie yelps. "Um, sorry Buck, I'm sure you wanted to be the one to tell him—"
"Put me on speakerphone," Buck demands.
"Okay, okay—actually, can we switch to FaceTime? Don't you think this warrants FaceTime?"
Buck presses the button for a video call, and is greeted almost immediately with his best friend's face. Eddie quickly turns the screen to include Chris, who's looking at Buck with an incredulous expression. "You're having a baby?" he demands. "With who?"
"Y'know, that was also your dad's first question," says Buck. He runs a hand through his hair. "Her name is Lindsay."
"Who is Lindsay? You know we're coming back this weekend, right Buck? You and Lindsay can't live in our house."
"Chris," says Eddie. "Lindsay is not going to live in our house."
"Definitely not," says Buck. "She doesn't want to be a mom. I'll just be me who has custody. Lindsay will continue to live in her own house."
"Oh," says Chris. He adjusts his glasses. "So, you're just randomly having a baby. That's kind of crazy."
"Yes," says Buck, "But crazier things have happened. What do you think?"
Chris frowns for a moment. Blinks. "It's going to be a big change. But I guess she'll probably be cute. She'll be like my little sister."
It's Buck's turn to blink. Eddie just looks kind of proud. "Yes, I think she'll be very cute. Babies usually are. Have you told anyone else yet, Buck?"
"I told Maddie."
"I bet she was excited."
"Yeah." Buck smiles. "She was."
A few minutes later, Chris has disappeared to continue packing up his room in Eddie's El Paso house, and Eddie is finishing up the call with Buck on the porch.
"How did you meet this woman, Buck? I didn't even know you were... having casual sex again."
Buck huffs. "I don't have to keep you perfectly up to date on my sex life."
"I didn't say you did," says Eddie, delicately.
Buck huffs again. "Well, it's kind of Ravi's fault. We went out for drinks and then he wanted to ditch me so bad that when Tommy showed up at the bar, he was all, 'oh, Tommy, why don't you come hang out with Buck? So crazy that we ran into you. I'll let you guys catch up.' And then, next thing you know, I'm having sex with my ex."
"What?" demands Eddie. "You hooked up with Tommy? Is that still going on? Did he pressure you into it?"
"No, no. No, and it was fine. He wanted to get back together, kinda, but then he was super weird about it. And I wouldn't have hooked up with him if I'd had something better to do that night, but the sex was never bad, so it was like—why not? I guess? I was feeling kinda... spontaneous, and Ravi was enabling me, for whatever reason. I sorta regretted it after, but it wasn't Tommy's fault." Buck scrunches his nose and gives Eddie a bit of a guilty look.
Eddie sighs. "Okay. You're fine, Buck. What do you mean, he was weird about it?"
"Well. I mean, he implied that the only reason he was willing to get back together was because you weren't in LA anymore." Buck gets the sudden urge to examine his cuticles like a teenage girl in a cartoon. It's not like he was planning to never tell Eddie about this, but the conversation is starting to get away from him.
"What?" says Eddie, baffled. "Tommy hates me?"
Buck does not acknowledge the ridiculousness of that response. "Uh, I think he just sees you as a threat to... him and I." He swallows and avoids looking at Eddie on the screen.
"Tommy thinks… I'm a homewrecker?" Eddie's voice still has a bemused tone to it. "If anything, he was the one wrecking our home. You and I were best friends long before he came along."
"Yes, exactly!" says Buck, suddenly incensed. "He was homewrecking our friendship, flying you to Vegas and doing all kinds of crazy shit."
Eddie snorts. "And then you dated him."
"Okay, well, I'm not dating him anymore."
"No, you're having a baby with some other stranger. How was the Tommy story related to you having a baby with Lindsay?"
"Oh, right." Buck sighs. "Well, I don't know. Tommy weirded me out, and then I felt like having casual sex again. I met Lindsay on a call."
Eddie groans. "You met her on a call? Not because her house burnt down, I hope."
"No, it was a highway collision. Her car was barely involved. She was fine. She gave me her business card."
"She gave you her business card?" Eddie laughs. "Don't tell me she's a lawyer."
"No." Buck smiles. "She's a writer. But apparently her Bachelor's and Master's are in philosophy."
Eddie hums. "Sounds interesting. More interesting than a death doula."
Buck scoffs. "Do you ever get tired of hating on all my exes?"
"No," says Eddie. "But I'll cut you a break, for now. What are your plans, for when the baby comes? Where are you going to live? I assume you'll take paternity leave."
"I don't exactly have a plan yet. I'll definitely take pat leave, but I have no idea where I'm going to live. Apartment hunting in LA on short notice is a nightmare."
Eddie hums. "Tell me about it. I'd love to have you and the baby live with us, but I'm just not sure that the house is big enough. We could do it for the first little while, but not long term."
Buck smiles, somewhat sadly. Ideally, he and the baby would live with Eddie and Chris forever, but it's true that he'll have to move out. Still, "You'd do that for me?"
"Of course, Buck. It's not like I'm going to kick you out and make y'all live with Maddie and Chim. Can you imagine how much of a nightmare that'd be?"
Buck laughs, relieved. It's true that living with Maddie and Chim (and Jee, and their new baby) would inevitably be a train wreck.
Eddie scrunches up his face, thoughtful. "It'd be a pain in the ass to essentially move twice in one go, but maybe we should."
Buck pauses. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, we could find a bigger place in LA, for all of us." Eddie rubs the back of his neck. "I mean, if you wanted."
"Yes," says Buck. "I want that."
The next few months are a blur. Buck tells Bobby the news, and gets a firm hug, along with promises of support and flexible paternity leave. When Buck tells him that he and the baby will be living with Eddie and Chris, Bobby raises his eyebrows, but nods and doesn't press the issue.
When Hen and Chim find out, they share twin gasps and start falling over themselves about a baby Buckley. They do tease him about the plan to move to a new place with Eddie and Chris, but he can tell they're happy for him. Hen gives him a series of bizarre eyebrow expressions, which he ignores.
When Chris is asked to weigh in on the plan to move, he just squints and says, "yeah, I guess we need a bigger place. But I want to go to the same school I used to go to." Eddie and Buck assure him that they will do their best to satisfy that condition.
Buck starts going to Lindsay's appointments with her. He can't tell if she's pleased by this, but Buck is ecstatic, and she doesn't seem to be against it. They don't talk much outside of the appointments, other than planning the paperwork to sign the baby over to Buck's full custody. They agree that Lindsay won't have to pay child support, but that she'll cover the medical expenses of childbirth on her own. She has good insurance, inexplicably.
"Have you thought about the name?" Buck asks.
"Yes. I want it to be a surprise, but I think I'm decided. I want to name her after my late grandmother. It's also the first name of one of my favorite philosophers. A neo-Kantian."
"Uh, okay," says Buck. Who is he to argue with that? "I'm sure it'll be a great name."
Maddie has her baby just a couple weeks before Lindsay is due. They name him Daniel. Buck isn't sure how to feel about that, but he's happy for Maddie, whose postpartum is going much better than last time. In a way, he's glad that he doesn't have the pressure of honoring one of his own family members with his baby's name. He's happy for the name to honor Lindsay's grandmother—although, he hopes it isn't too much of an old-fashioned name. It would be funny if Lindsay named the baby Nancy, or Roberta, or something.
Lindsay calls him when she's in labor, on her way to the hospital.
"I'll be right there," he says. "Who's driving you?"
"Xantia," says Lindsay. "Oh, I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I hope you're ready to take over caring for this baby, because I'm just about done."
"I'm ready, don't worry," he assures her. "I'll meet you at the hospital."
After nine hours of labor, Buck's daughter is born. He actually had to wait outside for most of the labor, because Lindsay said she'd rather have Xantia holding her hand—but they switch out when it starts getting down to the wire. Lindsay thinks he should be allowed to witness the birth of his daughter.
Buck stares down at his newborn baby girl, in awe. Secretly, he thinks she's cuter than baby Daniel, but he's very much biased.
The doctors are letting him hold his daughter, now that they've done the quick checks and are satisfied she's a healthy baby. He also got to cut the umbilical cord. You are precious, he thinks. The most precious thing I've ever seen.
He looks over, and Lindsay is writing on the birth certificate, with Xantia rubbing her shoulder. "Someone hand me the parental rights paperwork. I want to sign it now so that I can take a nap."
Buck takes the paperwork from his bag and hands it over. "What's her name?" he asks, looking back at his daughter. She's sleepy, after her initial cries, but he can't help grinning down at her and making funny faces whenever she blinks her eyes a bit. "Do I finally get to know?" he jokes.
Lindsay laughs, exhausted. "Yes, I suppose now is the time to find out. Here's the birth certificate. I named her Christine Fecteau Buckley. And there's the custody paperwork, signed. We're all set."
Buck freezes. He's so happy and in awe right now, nothing can really get him down. But—seriously? What are the chances?
"You named her… Christine?"
"Yes. She's named after both my grandmother and Christine Korsgaard, a philosopher at Harvard. I gave her my last name as a middle name. You can call her Chris. That's what people called my grammy."
"Okay," says Buck. He's going to deal with that later.
Later comes when Buck meets Eddie in the hospital lobby, holding Christine. Eddie coos at her, enamored.
"She's beautiful. Adorable. I love her already. Can I hold her?" Eddie looks up at Buck with slightly teary eyes.
"Yes," says Buck. He's reluctant to let her go, but he wants Eddie to hold her. He hands her over carefully, smiling. He definitely has tears in his eyes.
Eddie continues to coo at the baby, now resting in his arms. "What did you guys name her?" he asks.
Buck hesitates.
"Oh, no," says Eddie, teasing. His eyes shoot towards Buck's. "Did she pick something weird?"
"Well," Buck hedges. "It's not a weird name."
"What is it?" asks Eddie.
"Her name is Christine."
Eddie's eyes get suddenly very big. "You named your daughter Christine?" He sounds a bit incredulous. "Did she think that would be funny? Did you think that that would be funny?"
Buck grimaces. "I didn't name her. I didn't know until it was already on the birth certificate. And I don't think she knows what Chris's name is."
"How does she not know?" Eddie whisper-shouts. "You talk about Chris all the time!"
"Yes, but I haven't actually talked to her very much!" Buck whisper-shouts back. "I think I've just said 'Eddie's son,' a few times."
"That's not possible. How can that be?" asks Eddie. He looks heavenward, vaguely spinning around with Christine in his arms. Buck wishes that he would not do this. "Also, what are we going to do about it? We can't have two kids with the same name! Everyone is going to think we're weirdos!"
"I don't know," says Buck, honestly.
"Let's go home," says Eddie. "Bobby and Athena and Chris are waiting for us. We've got her car seat in the car. We'll figure it out."
When they get home, it's 8 am, Lindsay having labored through the night. Bobby and Athena and Chris are all awake, eating breakfast, and very excited to see the new baby. They all, also, want to know her name.
Buck and Eddie look at Chris with slightly guilty expressions. "The name is a little bit," Eddie pauses. "Unfortunate."
Bobby furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"
"Lindsay named her," says Buck.
"That was the plan," says Athena. "What is it?"
Chris glances between Buck and Eddie. "Yeah, what is it? We can always give her a nickname."
"That's very reasonable of you, Chris," says Buck. "Her name is Christine."
Athena breaks out into giggles, at this. "Oh dear."
Chris draws a face of baffled horror. "She named the baby after me?"
"I think it's just a weird coincidence, mijo," says Eddie. "We might change it."
"We can't change it!" cries Buck. "I told Lindsay she could have naming rights."
"What's the middle name?" asks Bobby, reasonably. His brow is still furrowed, but he seems amused.
Buck groans. "Her middle name is Lindsay's last name. Fecteau. We can't exactly call her that."
"You could call her Tina," suggests Athena. "Like Tina Turner."
Bobby smiles. "Tina and Athena."
Buck frowns. "That would work better if her name was Christina. I don't know if I really want to call her Tina."
"Well," says Eddie, definitively. "We can't call her Chris. I already named my son that."
"Maybe you could call her Christie," suggests Bobby. "Is that too similar?"
Buck makes a face. "Chris and Christie? We can't name our children after the former governor of New Jersey!'
"I don't know," says Chris, thoughtfully. "I kind of like it. It would be funny to tell people I have a sister named Christie."
"Chris! Chris Christie is a republican! And he was a terrible governor! You and Christie don't want to be associated with that legacy!" says Buck.
"We literally won't be," says Chris. "We don't even live in New Jersey."
Athena ignores this exchange, raising her eyebrows to ask, "Is Christie going to be Chris's sister?" She glances between Buck and Eddie, who blush.
"Well, we're all going to be living together," says Buck. "Here, and then in a bigger place. So it'll kind of be like that." Athena already knows this, of course. He and Eddie are moving into a larger apartment, in a few weeks, where they'll live while they continue to look for a place to buy. They've put the El Paso house on the market, but it'll probably take a little while to sell.
Athena hums, skeptical.
"Y'know," says Bobby, "It's too bad that California doesn't recognize common-law marriages. If you wanted the same legal protections as married couples, you'd have to actually get married."
Buck squints at his captain and father-figure. Is it just him, or was that a bit out-of-pocket?
"It would be great if you got married," says Chris. "Our lives would be less messy. You wouldn't have to date all those reporters and doulas and nuns and dead-mom-lookalikes. Let's invite Tommy to the wedding."
Eddie is making a spectacular face. "Let's not. Let's never see Tommy again. Also, are we joking about Kim and Marisol now? I thought you said that that was a 'traumatizing incident.'"
"It was," says Chris. "That's exactly why we have to joke about it. Hey! Christie can be the flower girl! Or maybe Jee—she's older."
"Are we really going with Christie?" asks Eddie. "People are probably going to think we're nuts."
"People are going to think I'm nuts, for naming my kid after your kid," says Buck.
"Not if you get married," says Athena. "Then people will judge you jointly."
"Ugh—imagine our Christmas cards," says Buck. "Merry Christmas. Love, Buck, Eddie, Chris, and Christie."
"Merry Christmas," laughs Eddie, "from Chris and Christie."
"Merry Christie," says Chris, "from Chris and Christmas."
"Merry Chrysler," says Bobby—
"Okay," says Buck. "I'm going to call Maddie, for advice."
"Put her on speakerphone," requests Eddie. Buck taps Maddie's contact and the button for speakerphone. He sets the phone down on the table, so they can all watch it ring.
Maddie picks up after two. "Buck!" she greets. "Tell me everything! How is she? And how is Lindsay? I need updates. Now."
"She's great," says Buck. "So is Lindsay. She's doing really well, and I think she got back together with her girlfriend. We need your advice."
"Okay, about what? Is she feeding alright? Settling in?"
"She's sleeping right now, but she'll probably wake up soon. We fed her at the hospital, and I have the baby formula all ready for when she gets hungry again. That's actually not the kind of advice I'm looking for."
"Do you think Buck should get married to my dad?" asks Chris quickly, seizing advantage of opportunity.
"Oh!" says Maddie. They can hear her beaming. "Yes. Are you getting married? Also, hi Chris."
"Chris," groans Eddie. "That's not what we're calling about, Maddie. Actually, I can't wait for you to hear this. Guess what Lindsay named our daughter."
"Our daughter? Are you really getting married?" Maddie demands. "Chim! Buck and Eddie are on the phone!"
Eddie blushes—although Maddie can't see him—as Chim presumably comes to join the call.
"Maddie," says Buck impatiently. "Lindsay named our daughter Christine."
"Isn't that crazy?" says Chris. "Apparently, Buck forgot to rule that one out."
"HaHA!" shrieks Maddie. "I told you she might name your daughter something weird."
"Seriously?" asks Chim. "What are you going to do?"
"We're going to call her Christie, I think," says Bobby.
"I'm going to call her Teeny," says Chim.
"What's her middle name?" asks Maddie.
Buck groans. "It's Fecteau. We can't call her that."
"Christie it is, then," says Athena, with finality.
Chim snorts. "Have you told Hen yet? I wonder what she'll say."
"I'll tell you what she's going to say," says Buck. "She's going to say, 'oh, no, your children are named after the former governor of New Jersey.'"
What Hen actually says is, "You guys can definitely pick a different name, if you want to. Sometimes babies get renamed. If you told Lindsay that you already had a kid named Chris, I'm sure she'd understand, and choose something else."
"I don't know," says Eddie. "I've gotten kind of attached."
"Of course you have," replies Buck.
What Ravi says is, "What? That's really weird. Did Buck name both of them? Isn't he worried that Chris will think he's being replaced?"
"Excuse you," says Buck. "I didn't name either of them. How could I have possibly named Chris?"
"You mean, the first Chris?" asks Ravi. "I don't know. I guess I didn't think about that. Did Eddie already have him when you got married? Maybe it's that your type is people who like the name Chris."
"What?" says Buck. "Ravi, I'm not married."
"Not anymore," says Ravi, sagely.
"Not yet," corrects Bobby.
"Chris is gunning for it," admits Buck.
"Now I'm confused," says Ravi.
When everyone has gone home and Chris is settled in for the night, after a long day of crash course on newborn baby, Buck and Eddie are sitting on the bed that they've been sleeping in together, for the past few weeks. They're gazing over at Christie, who is very temporarily settled down in her crib. She's wearing a hand-me-down onesie of Jee's that Chim and Maddie had decided Daniel didn't need.
"Man," says Buck. "Our kids really have funny names, now."
"That's what we get," says Eddie, "for our poor family planning skills."
"I don't know. I think we're pretty good! We just specialize in short notice."
Eddie shakes his head. "I don't think that's how that works."
"Well, I plan for you to be in my family. Is that how that works?" Buck shoots him a charming grin.
Eddie smiles. "Not usually. Are you telling me you want to get married? I've heard that Jee has impressive flower-girl-potential."
Buck hums, coy. "Maybe. Would you write vows?"
Eddie scoffs. "Of course! I wrote vows for my first wedding, and the theme was shotgun."
Buck laughs. He knows Eddie loved Shannon, even if the man has come to regard their wedding as something his parents regrettably pressured them into. "What would our theme be?"
Eddie stretches out on his back, his eyes drooping closed from exhaustion. "Our theme would be…" he pauses, and then takes on a slightly unusual tone of voice. His intonation is diplomatic, but a bit haughty. "Love. True love. An I-love-you themed wedding." He settles into the pillow a little, eyes still closed, until he peeks out at Buck, just slightly.
Buck's breath hitches. "You're just saying that because you think it's what I want to hear."
"No, I'm not! I wouldn't joke about that," Eddie complains into the pillow.
"Eddie. Be serious." Buck glares at him. "Do you want to get married for real?"
Eddie opens his eyes fully. They look at each other for a second, silently. Eddie takes a deep breath. His face softens. "Buck, I would love to marry you." He reaches out for Buck's cheek, an earnest expression on his face. "I would love to be married and write ridiculous things on our Christmas cards." He frowns. "But it's actually more inclusive to write 'happy holidays.'"
Buck leans in and kisses him.
Eddie's hand slides around to the back of his neck and pulls him in closer. Buck thinks, this is the best kiss of my life. Possibly by stipulation, because it matters to me the most. But it's also good.
After a few seconds, Buck leans back, breathless. "I love you. Chris is right. Why did we think we needed anybody else?"
Eddie grins. "I love you too. I don't know. Frank says I had compulsory heterosexuality." He grips Buck's hand tightly, where he's grabbed onto it.
Buck laughs. "Okay." He pauses. "Are you sure you don't want to invite Tommy to the wedding? It would be so funny. Like, he wanted us, but he couldn't have us. He was just getting in the way of our lives."
"He would be grumpy," pouts Eddie. "No bad vibes at our true-love-themed wedding."
"You're so right, babe." Buck tilts his head. "What about Josh? Can Josh come?" Buck loves teasing Eddie about his dispatch frenemy.
"Why do you want to invite people I don't like to our wedding?" Eddie complains. "At this rate, you're going to invite my parents."
Buck cackles again. "I won't, I promise. Although, I bet Josh would be happy for you, for overcoming your compulsory heterosexuality."
"No, he'll be smug. That's why he's not invited."
"What if Maddie brings him as her plus-one?"
"Why would we give Maddie a plus-one? We're inviting Chim."
"You're right. I just think plus-ones are entertaining. Should we give Ravi one?"
"Yes. Maybe he'll invite Albert. That would be funny."
"Aren't we inviting Albert?"
Eddie groans. "Let's talk about this later. Why are you so eager to debate the specifics of our wedding? Are you worried I'm not serious about it? I'm serious about it. Kiss me now. Until Christie wakes up."
"Okay," says Buck, as he leans back in. "I love you. I love our family."
"So do I," says Eddie.
(And in the morning, Chris will attest his own agreement, very pleased with the news of their engagement.)
A year later, Lindsay and Xantia arrive at Buck and Eddie's wedding. When she meets Chris, Lindsay says, "Buck. Are you serious? Why didn't you say anything?"