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Two days out from Rivington. The encroaching thought of Baldur's Gate loomed before them and everyone was taking the chance to relax before the next inevitable nightmare. As far as they could tell, with the difficulties of keeping track of time while on the road, today was Wyll's name day, the twenty-fifth year since his birth. That was their excuse and they were sticking to it.
They'd had another supper of the omnipresent stew, chicken today, and somehow Gale had managed to make an apple cake to celebrate, along with several bottles of wine between them. Shadowheart and Lae'zel had made some very transparent excuses about tiredness and headed to bed. For once there was virtually no breeze, letting the ever present woodsmoke ascend gently upwards instead of its usual trick of managing to blow in everyone's face at once. An expanse of stars shone above, all the more appreciated after their sojourn into the Shadow Cursed Lands.
As always, Mauria was strumming some jaunty little tune, humming as she worked out lyrics in her head. Astarion kept leaning in, tossing out a comment and then sitting back with a satisfied grin on his face.
Karlach was knelt down, lining up the bottles from the camp chest, looking for things she hadn't tried yet when her head suddenly popped back up.
"I know! We could play a game!" she said, grinning. "We go round in a circle, and take turns to say "Never have I ever - and then add in something that you haven't done. Anyone who has done that thing has to take a drink."
An assortment of dubious looks greeted this suggestion.
"Aw, c'mon, guys! It'll be fun!"
"You do know I can't get drunk, right?" Astarion asked. "Whereas our druid over here will start singing after half a mug of mead!"
Halsin gave a rumbling laugh. "Guilty as charged!"
"That's setttled then, there's something for everyone here - Gulthmeran Reserve for Astarion the wine snob, a bottle of Blackstaff for the revered Archmage, some Whalebone Spiced for Mauria, because she certainly swears like a sailor!"
"I don't fucking swear, you hag-diddling worg felcher!" retorted Mauria, laughing.
Karlach tossed bottles to their recipients and continued her rummage. "Dammon, here, you can have the Purple Dragon Blush, 'cos I always like to see you blush!" Karlach gave an outrageous wink at this point, and to no one's surprise the shy tiefling blushed a bright orange, eliciting a raucous chuckle from Halsin.
"Wyll - how about a bottle of the Barrel-Aged Callidyrran; that's sufficiently posh, isn't it? And there's a couple of bottles of Highsun Liqueur for you, Halsin - sorry about the lack of honeyed mead."
Halsin gave a shrug at that and accepted his bottles with good grace.
"Now, Jaheira, how about some Amnian Dessert Wine? "
"I do hope you are not implying that I too am bitter?" replied Jaheira, wrinkling up her nose.
Karlach held up a hand in protest. "I wouldn't dare!"
"And you? asked Mauria. "What vintage is good enough for our bravest friend?"
"Gonna try this Brass City Scrangle - I've heard it really packs a punch!"
Bottles dispensed, Karlach moved back to sit between Dammon and Wyll, stretching her arms behind her head and her legs in front, wiggling her toes in the embers.
"Right then, who wants to start?" she asked, eyeing them all in turn before pointing at the warlock with a wicked grin on her face. "Wyll! It's your day, after all! You can go first!"
"Surely there's someone better suited to this?" Wyll blustered, shrugging in resignation when the entire group shook their heads at him.
"Very well then … never have I ever kissed a druid!" He eyed the circle, smiling as Halsin, Karlach, Mauria and Astarion took a drink.
"Gale next," instructed Karlach. "I can't wait to hear what magical shenanigans you come up with!"
"Ahem. I feel that a gentleman shouldn't really kiss and tell, you know? After all, most of my experience has been of the more ethereal kind… "
"Yes, we all know, you shagged a goddess," interrupted Astarion, rolling his eyes.
Gale glared, before coming out with "Never have I ever swum in the Chionthar."
Halsin, Jaheira, Wyll and Mauria all dutifully took a swig.
"Dull, dull, dull!" said Karlach. "I asked for magic, Mister Magic Man!"
Gale merely laughed and shook his head.
"My turn!" piped up Astarion. "Now, let's see… never have I ever set my tent on fire."
Karlach drank, then giggled, spitting her drink into the fire, causing a minor conflagration as the potent spirit hit the flames.
"If it's that funny, do tell?" wheedled the vampire.
"Well," Karlach began, looking a little hesitant. "You know when I was in the hells I was celibate the whole time, right? I didn't want the risk of getting involved with some devil or cambion."
"Very sensible," noted Jaheira.
"Yeah, so I guess one day I was so, erm, pent up, that I ended up setting my field tent on fire!" Cackles of disbelief suddenly echoed around the camp.
Once she finished chuckling, Mauria said "Never have I ever let someone win."
Astarion snorted. "And you'd better believe that!"
No one drank. Mauria looked around the fire suspiciously before raising a curious eyebrow at Wyll.
"Hells, how did you know?" he said, taking a guilty swallow. "But it was just a game of dice, seemed prudent to let Mizora win rather than suffer her bad temper. Devils do not like to lose."
"Halsin, you're up next," reminded Karlach.
"Very well," rumbled the druid. "Never have I ever been arrested." Jaheira, Dammon and Mauria all took a drink. An owl hooted softly in a nearby tree, followed by a sharp squeak and then silence.
"No, wait, what about that cell in the goblin camp?" asked Wyll.
"They didn't arrest me - I was a bear, remember. Who's going to try arresting a bear?" Halsin laughed.
"So, now it is my turn. You are all hoping that I am spilling secrets, eh?" Jaheira thought for a moment. "Never have I ever had a smutty dream about anyone around this campfire."
"Jaheira! That's just plain rude - I have my reputation to think of," pouted Astarion before taking a generous swig of his wine. For the first time this evening, Gale took a drink, along with everyone else.
"Well, I can see clearly how this evening is going to go now," Jaheira laughed, looking at the people eyeing each other with interest. "I shall take my leave, lest I put ideas into your oh-so-innocent heads. I believe Withers fancies a game of cards - that's what us old ones do when our backs are the stiffest part of us!"
Karlach pointed to Dammon, who was next in the circle. "Never have I ever sung in public," he confessed. Only Astarion and Gale didn't drink to that one.
"Ha! Mauria needs to drink an entire bottle for barely shutting up," laughed Karlach.
With a look of glee, Mauria started strumming a few simple chords, singing "There once was a tiefling, so horny one day, that she sparked and she wriggled, til her tent was flambéed… "
Karlach bellowed with laughter. "Oh hush you! That's quite enough of that! So: never have I ever been handcuffed."
She looked around, to see none but Dammon and Mauria drinking to that.
Wyll looked askance at the weaponsmith. "Dammon? I thought you were such a law abiding citizen?"
"But he drank to being arrested, remember?" pointed out Astarion.
A pained look formed on Dammon's face. "When we escaped from the hells, the enforcers in Elturel went around arresting any tiefling they found. I was locked up for three days before they threw us all out, leaving us to make the long trek westward.
"Oh, man, that sucks!" Karlach commiserated, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "But you've got us now, soldier. We'll protect you!"
Dammon looked significantly more cheery once Karlach was draped around him. The circle had reached back to Wyll once more.
"Let's go with… never have I ever kissed a tiefling," the warlock said in a sad, sad voice.
Karlach was open mouthed, watching as only Astarion, Gale and Mauria drank. "Friends, that's just not good enough!" She leaned over to Wyll, planting a generous kiss on his lips, before turning to the other side to smack one on Dammon. Then she ran across to Halsin and gave the druid a long, lingering smooch too. "Now your life is complete - so drink!" she laughed.
"My turn once more," said Gale , tugging at his beard as he thought.
"Come on, wizard, surely you have an exceptionally long and boring list to choose from?" snarked Astarion.
"Very well, if you're going to be boorish about it - never have I ever drained someone dry," Gale said stiffly.
No one except Astarion reached for their drink. The vampire raised one eyebrow, turning to the bard.
"Oh darling, now we know that's just not true," he said, leering suggestively at Mauria, causing her to snort as she attempted to hold in a laugh.
"Fangs! If you're going to assume that counts, I'm sure there's more than just Mauria that need to drink to this!"
"Caught out by my own poorly worded query. Such is life." With a shrug, Gale took a long drink, a half smile of recollection on his face, and Halsin sipped his bottle of Highsun.
There was a choking sound from the corner, but when they turned to look, there was only Withers and Jaheira, primly playing Three Dragon Ante and definitely not laughing. No, certainly not.
"Time to up the ante, I think," Astarion said, tapping his tongue on a fang as he considered his next words. "Never have I ever misused a spell for sex".
"Ha! I knew it!" he said, pointing at Gale who had reached for his bottle again. Wyll, Halsin and Mauria were drinking too. "I want to hear which spells, this should be absolutely fascinating!"
"Entangle," offered the druid, grinning. "Also Enlarge, but not how you would assume," he added, laughing.
"Oh, you can't just leave it like that," insisted Karlach.
"Discretion, Karlach. I still have some. Just because I liken my heart to an open book does not mean I have to give you an index. And we haven't heard from the others yet!"
"Oh, well, Mage Hand is a classic for a reason," said Gale with an attempt at a casual shrug.
"That puts all sorts of unwanted pictures in my mind. But come to think of it... is Mage Hand especially hard to learn?" asked Karlach with a hopeful twinkle in her eye.
"Patience, dear Karlach. Let us deal with one calamity at a time, after all, we don't want to start another conflagration," teased Gale. "Now, how about you, Wyll?"
"Only the one little cantrip, Grease," Wyll said, staring fixedly at the floor as whoops of laughter erupted around him.
Mauria crinkled her eyes up as she searched her memory … or her imagination. Who knew? "Let me see, I've tried Mage Hand of course, Seeming, Animate Objects, Nathair's Mischief, Suggestion, Magic Mouth - no, wait, that's not a spell…"
"Just your natural charms?" asked Astarion, smugly.
Wyll looked slightly disapproving. "I trust your lovers are aware of the danger they're getting into?" he asked.
"That's for me to know, and them to find out!" Mauria replied, glossing over any further discussion with well-practiced efficency. "Now, my turn! Never have I ever lied during a game of Never Have I Ever," she said, a picture of innocence. Astarion turned to stare at her in disbelief, looked down to her bottle and back up to her face again. The innocent facade did not even quiver.
Wyll took a sneaky sip from his bottle though. At least he thought it was sneaky.
Halsin wrinkled up his face in thought, before stating "Never have I ever been asked to leave a bar."
Everyone apart from Dammon reached for their drinks.
"Ha, this puts me in mind of one night in the Yawning Portal," Gale began, not noticing Astarion rolling his eyes. "I'd been drinking with Elminster, who was visiting from Shadowdale, he was due to give a lecture at Blackstaff the next day. You wouldn't think it but Elminster can get a bit tetchy when he's had a few drinks. Some n'er-do-well Zhentarim type on the next table decided to start a fight, claiming that the old man had been looking at his pint, and when Elminster polymorphed him into a sheep to shut him up, his comrades took exception and began throwing bottles. Elminster aimed a simple Thunderwave at them and blasted the sheep down into the well! I can still recall the pained bleating as it flew in the air. Somehow this was apparently our fault and Durnan, the barkeep, usually a nice enough man, demanded that we leave post haste!" This picture obviously tickled Karlach, causing a spit-take as she tried to restrain her giggles.
"Fascinating," said Dammon, not entirely having the full context for that scene. "I think I will say, hmmm, never have I ever read a smutty book!"
Karlach took a long pull on her bottle, followed by Wyll, Astarion, Gale and Mauria.
"And here was me thinking that you didn't like to read, Karlach," noted Gale.
"To be honest, there wasn't much to read in the hells. Books tended to burn up, even without my assistance, so my reading was strictly in the before times."
"As a teenager I fondly remember stealing a peek at one of my father's books, 'One Night In Nashkel' about the pleasures of a sentient sword. And now that I come to think of it, some of the pages did seem particularly battered," Wyll said, smiling in recollection.
"I do have a few of the more explicit works in amongst my library back home," Gale proffered. "Not that I could possibly lend them out, but perhaps if someone visited they may find a modicum of entertainment there."
"Right, back to my turn," grinned Karlach. "Here's one to sort the ogres from the kobolds! Never have I ever pegged a man!"
Dammon suddenly turned that glowing orange hue once more, as Karlach examined her companions reactions. "No one?" she asked in disbelief. "I felt sure… " Mauria looked smugly at the tiefling but did not drink. The wind picked up for a moment, smoke curling around Wyll as he blinked to clear it from his eyes.
Wyll squared up his shoulders, before boldly declaiming "Never have I ever had a threesome."
Gale, Astarion and Halsin all drank to that. At least two of those were no surprise.
"Two mage hands doesnt count, Gale!" crowed Astarion, giggling as he drank.
"The things you do not know about me, Astarion, would fill more than the vast interplanar expanse of the shelves at Candlekeep," Gale replied, for once refusing to let the snarky vampire ruffle him and tossing another log on the dwindling fire.
"Now, I believe it is once again my round, so I will go with never have I ever had sex in a public place," he continued, watching as both Mauria and Astarion took another drink, each pretending to be shocked at the other. Gale shook his head, laughing at the ridiculousness of the pair.
"Me next then - Never have I ever… " Astarion waggled his eyebrows at them all… "called someone the wrong name during sex!"
"But darling, that's only because you call everyone darling, darling!" laughed Karlach, doing her best over the top imitation of the vampire's flounce. "And no one has drunk so that means you have to!" she demanded.
Astarion shrugged and took a long pull from his rapidly emptying bottle.
Mauria, slightly slurring by now, strummed a loud chord as if introducing the next act. "Never have I ever necked a handful of chillis and then given someone oral sex. Honest."
Karlach roared with laughter, as did Astarion. Halsin succumbed to a fit of coughing, tears welling up in his eyes. Dammon and Wyll just stared at the bard, mouths hanging open, while Gale tried and failed to come up with a coherent string of words.
Halsin took a deep breath, once he had finally stopped coughing. "Never have I ever been in love with someone that I never told my feelings to." The druid peered around the fire, amused at certain shy glances and grins.
Mauria looked sideways at Astarion, only to find he was doing the same. Gale polished off his bottle of Blackstaff. Dammon reached for his bottle of Blush.
A sudden explosive noise made everyone jump as a log cracked in the fire, glowing shards mimicking the glory of the heavens as incandescent embers fanned out across the coals. The moment had passed.
Withers watched impassively as the adventurers all took to their beds in various stages of inebriation. He was still silently watching later, when certain people snuck into certain other tents.
The woodsmoke continued its lazy ascension to the stars.