Chapter Text
October 2022
Sweat and worry filled the air in the hockey arena. Leo bent over his skates, the scrape of skates on ice sending a shiver through him. Finally.
This was Leo’s second year on the university, and hockey team as well. But this year, he wanted to get the C on his jersey. The captain’s position was going to be open at the end of year, because the former captain is graduating. This was his chance. He needed to prove them, to himself, that he wasn’t just a top scorer, but someone worth following.
The afternoon was chaos. Tryout day always drew everyone: the cocky, the clumsy, and those who were holding a hockey stick like Harry Potter his wand. Leo had seen it all before last year, but form the other side. Him as the potential new member of the hockey team. But today he is here to choose those, who can play, who will not be dragging the team down.
Leaning against the dasher boards, he watched some freshman struggle on the ice. The guy nearly fell on his first lap, and Leo couldn’t help but frown.
“That's ridiculous,” a senior next to him muttered. “We need real players, that know more than just basic moves. And not some models in gear.”
The whistle blew one more time. Another not so hopeful players stumbled onto the rink, wide-eyed and awkward. Leo watched every pass and fumble. It’s true that a few had potential, sure, but most didn’t belong on the ice. He looked at the other seniors on the bench. They were sizing up the newcomers. They weren’t saying much but were judging hard. Patience wore thin quickly. The parade of tryouts dragged on. Each one seemed a little more clueless than the last. Excuses started pouring in: my skates are too tight, your stare distracted me, I’ve never played professionally before. But enough of the whining and wasted time. None of these kids were making it into the team.
Then, from the corner of his eye, Leo noticed a trio sitting in the bleachers. They were grinning and laughing, maybe a bit too loudly. Leo could tell just by looking at them that they didn’t come here to join the team. However one of the guys caught his attention. He was cute. Really cute. Leo blinked and shook his head. Get it together, Leo. Focus!
Suddenly their eyes met. The boy smiled even more, shy and sweet. For a moment, Leo's heart actually skipped a beat. Their gaze lingered longer than Leo expected. He quickly looked away but couldn’t shake that feeling.
“Ha!” Geonwoo’s voice cut in as he slapped Leo’s back. “Most people came here to flirt with the players, not actually play. Losers.”
Leo clenched his jaw. This was supposed to be hockey, not some speed-dating circus. The irritation burned. Without thinking, he shouted across the ice, his voice deep.
“You! Yeah, you three!” He pointed at the boy, the one with the annoyingly cute smile. “With a body like that, you have no chance of making it onto this team. Try cheerleading or something that only needs a pretty face and no talent!”
The boy just stared, taken aback. His smile faded for a moment, replaced by a nervous laugh. Beneath the anger, Leo felt an unexpected twinge of guilt, even his teammates shared surprised glances.
Ridiculous. It’s a sport, not a beauty contest.
Sangwon followed Anxin and Jiahao out into the cool autumn air. His head was spinning, not from the cold, but from that arrogant hockey player who had just called him out in front of everyone.
“Seriously, who does that? Yelling at us like we’re some impostors? Such a jerk.” Anxin walked beside Sangwon, fists clenched.
Sangwon just nodded, only half-listening. He kept replaying the scene... the guy’s sharp, smug voice and the way his eyes locked on him. It was stupid to let it get to him, but it did. So silly of him.
“Congrats. You’ve just met the one and only Lee Leo. You will hear of him through the whole year, Won.” Jiahao sighed a few steps back.
Jiahao didn’t know Leo personally, but everyone in his year had heard of him. The soon to be best university hockey player. Apparently he had more than just a talent, but Jiahao was never into hockey, so he couldn’t tell.
“Perfect. That’s exactly what I wanted. I thought university would be normal. You know. Like meet some people, start socializing more. Instead, I get roasted my first week here.” Sangwon cried.
Anxin stopped, hands on his hips and gave Sangwon a look. “Roasted? Come on, don’t say that! At least he called you, well, you know... pretty.”
Sangwon blinked. “Yeah, but the way he said it? He might as well have spat in my face.”
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like it.” Jiahao laughed, shaking his head.
“Oh, how scandalous!” Anxin yelled dramatically.
November 2022
Music blasted in the common room and lights flickering with every heavy beat. The floor was shaking under Leo’s feet. Honestly, Leo felt like the walls might start vibrating too. It was supposed to be a party for international students, but in reality it had turned into another typical loud, crowded and chaotic university party. Everyone squeezed into a small space, shouting, dancing and especially drinking.
Leo had never enjoyed this type of parties, yet he always ended in the middle of the dance floor. Nevertheless his thoughts kept drifting back to the rink. Thinking about hockey, the captain position and to the drills he needed to perfect. The laughter, the yelling, even the music around him, all of this felt distant. He heard it, sure, but it all blended into static behind his obsession with hockey. And being the best.
His friends were all too much into party mood, though. Junseo had already thrown himself into the dancing crowd, yelling something Leo missed, and Geonwoo disappeared with Xinlong somewhere on the other side of the room. Suddenly, Leo was alone. So, he drank. One sip, then another, and soon that warm began to wrap around his shoulders, making him a bit looser. It was time to head to the dance floor.
Yeah, he noticed the looks. Same as always—curious, a little dazzled, like he was someone special. Girls whispering, sneaking glances, pulled toward him like he had his own gravity. Some kind of star, was he?
Did it matter to him? Not really. He danced, sometimes flashed a smile and maybe kissed someone’s cheek if the mood struck. But the second anyone wanted something more than just a kiss, he disappeared. He wasn’t here for drama.
Leo grabbed another drink, that easy, crooked smile never slipping. But honestly, even while he joked around, his thoughts kept drifting back to the ice again and again. The party just blurred around him, all noise and lights. None of it mattered.
Honestly, for Leo, this was just time to kill before getting back to game. On the other hand he didn’t know that he was simply just waiting for someone to actually grab his attention. Then, out of nowhere, he spotted a silhouette at the edge of the room, half-hidden in the shadows by the door. Tipsy and not thinking straight, he just stared. Because why not? He can stare. Right?
Skinny jeans. Long legs. Small waist. It caught Leo’s attention. Without thinking, he pushed through the crowd, not bothering to dodge elbows or spilled drinks. His heart started pounding, and not just from the alcohol, but because he knew that something about this person felt different. It screamed perfection.
And then, somehow, he was right there. Standing infront of him. Everything after that got messy. The first kiss surprised him, but then there was another. And another. His hands moved on their own, finding that slender waist, tracing lines he probably shouldn’t have even noticed. The taste, the heat. All of it made him smile. Not his usual style, not at all. But at the end of the day who cared...
He got completely hooked, lost his head for a second. Until a sudden sharp kick, right under his knee. Hard enough to throw him off balance. He stumbled back, blinking, more confused than hurt.
“What the—?” Leo hissed, trying to look at the stranger. But the person had vanished, slipped into the crowd like they’d never been there at all.
Underneath the pain, irritation bubbled up. Honestly? There was something weirdly interesting about it, about the stranger. Who the hell was that? Leo kind of wanted to know.
Ugh. The party was a disaster. Not what Sangwon expected at all. Seriously, who even lets some random guy kiss people like he owns the place? Sangwon’s hands shook as he collapsed onto a nearby sofa, head spinning from the realization of what happened just few seconds ago. He snatched the nearest beer can without even checking what was inside and took a quick sip. Hopefully it would snap him back to reality or at least drown out the embarrassment twisting in his chest. He couldn’t help it. When Sangwon spotted Leo, he thought the guy would walk over and apologize for what he’d said three weeks ago. Maybe they’d share an awkward laugh, a quick “my bad,” and that would be it. But getting kissed out of nowhere? He crossed the line.
Sangwon let out a pathetic groan, sinking deeper into the couch. He stared at the ceiling, his mind replaying the whole thing in vivid detail. There was something about his lips, the smooth hands, the cocky attitude. It made him want to scream. Nothing more, obviously.
“Ridiculous,” he muttered, glaring into the dark space. Absolutely ridiculous.
He tried not to think about it, but his mind refused to let go. He figured the night couldn’t get any worse. Sadly he was wrong. So wrong.
Still stuck on that damn couch, fighting to calm down, he suddenly felt someone sit next to him. At first, it seemed normal. Just another partygoer getting comfortable. Then a hand landed on his knee, fingers creeping up his thigh. Before he could react, an arm looped around his waist, pulling him close. Sangwon flinched. The grip was uncomfortably strong. His mind raced. Seriously, what was wrong with these people? Did university mean forget every rule about not being creepy and act like a decent human being?
The stranger just grinned, acting like this was all perfectly fine. “Just relax,” they said, voice way too calm for the situation. “I saw you making out with Leo. He definitely wouldn’t mind sharing.”
Sangwon froze. Was this real life? Was he on some hidden camera show? He jerked away, twisting out of their hold.
“I—I don’t know what your deal is, but get off me!”
The person blinked, looking confused that Sangwon wasn’t okay with it. “Chill, it’s just a joke…”
A joke. Right. Hilarious. Ha ha ha. Sangwon was dying from laughing so hard. He shoved their arm away and scooted as far as he could, cheeks burning with a toxic blend of rage and humiliation. What was wrong with people? This room was full of weirdos.
October 2023
News spread fast, that Lee Leo was named captain of the university hockey team. Some people congratulated him, slapped him on the back, but then some shot him dirty looks. Some barely noticed him, while others whispered or stared like he was a legend. And Leo? He was daydreaming the whole day. Totally lost in his head, already picturing himself in the national hockey team.
Then it happened.
Out of nowhere, he crashed into someone. You literally could have heard that. Not just a shoulder bump, but a full-on collision. Books flew, coffee splashed everywhere, and papers scattered like confetti. Leo barely reacted, still in his dreams. The guy he’d run into hit the floor, scrambling to grab his stuff and making miserable noises like he was about to cry or yell, or maybe both. Who knows.
“Watch where you’re going, nerd,” Leo said. No apology. Not a single look at the boy. He just kept walking.
Then someone else appeared, looking a little lost. Honestly, who wouldn’t? A boy sprawled out and books everywhere like a garage sale gone wrong? Geonwoo crouched down to help.
“Hey, you alright?” he asked, handing over a stack of novels.
Sangwon nodded quickly, eyes wide behind his glasses.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Geonwoo gave a tired smile and sighed as he watched Leo walk away. Sometimes being friends with him was not easy at all.
December 2023
Jiahao finished his last dance practice of the year. Sangwon had promised he would stop by. They planned to meet outside Jiahao’s class, but let’s be honest; Sangwon never shows up on time.
So there he was, rushing down the hallway, his bag flapping and papers flying everywhere as if they were trying to get away. He burst into Jiahao’s class, breathless and searching the room, hoping to find his friend. But no, nobody was there. Or, well...
Leo was there, yelling at a girl. She was crying, red-eyed, looking like she just got hit by a truck. Sangwon froze. His stomach sank. What the hell did he just walk into?
But in that moment Leo noticed him.
“Ugh! Give me a break, all of you! Stay out of my business!” Leo’s voice echoed, sharp and angry.
Sangwon flinched and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Leo threw his bag, ready to storm off, but then he stopped. He stared at Sangwon, eyes tracing a slow line from his face to his lips, neck, waist, and legs. That look. Like he was halfway between a threat and a joke.
“Why can’t good-looking people use their brains? At least for once.”
Sangwon just stood there, completely stunned, mind racing. Why was it always Leo?
His knees felt like a jelly.
Leo and Sangwon crashed into each other’s lives with no warning, no introductions, not even a simple polite look. Just this weird, heavy awkwardness that refused to fade.
January 2024
It was the day of an important hockey match for Leo. You know, the kind that decides if you’re a legend or just another guy who tried hard. Leo’s mind was a storm of tactics, pressure, and that constant need to prove himself as captain. He wanted everyone to know he was number one. Nothing else mattered.
Leo pulled on his lucky old jersey, the one he always wore before big nights. It made him feel like he had a chance to control the chaos in his head.
The campus was dead that morning, the sun barely up, everything covered by a weird golden light that made the world feel like it was holding its breath.
Leo needed space. No friends, no teammates, no small talk, just a moment to breathe before everything kicked off again. So he went to the only place quiet enough for him to think, the library. Obvious choice, right? Quiet and empty. Perfect for Leo.
Except, nope. The second he opened the door, he was hit with loud music. Too cheerful for a library. He just stood there. Was he dreaming? Between the shelves was someone. Not exactly dancing, just moving to the beat, books in hand, humming along. It took Leo a second, but then he recognized him. Seriously? No way. That boy again.
Leo tried to ignore it. He really did. He didn’t have the energy for people this early. Especially for these cheerful kind of people. He walked right by, dropped into a chair, and pulled out his phone, pretending he doesn’t hear anything. He leaned back, arms folded behind his head, legs stretched out as far as they'd go. Finally, a quiet moment.
Until—crash.
Leo yelped, his heart jumping. Books and papers exploded across the table and floor. Someone had gone down hard, tripping straight over Leo’s bag, grabbing for anything to stay on their feet. That anything turned out to be Leo’s shoulder—or, well, mostly just his sleeve.
Then came that awful sound, the kind that makes your teeth hurt—ripping fabric. Leo stared down at his jersey. Really? The sleeve dangled, barely holding on. Great. Just great.
Sangwon stood frozen, eyes wide, mouth open, like he just saw a ghost. Not a word. Of course it was him. Why wouldn’t it be? Every time.
Time kind of paused. Then Leo let out a sharp breath and muttered, “Are you dumb?”
What else could he say? Sometimes the universe just messes with you for fun.
Sangwon blinked, face flushing.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Seriously, I didn't mean to. I’ll pay for it. I promise.”
The words came out too fast, hands flapping around like he could somehow fix it by gesturing. But Leo didn’t answer. He just stared, eyes burning holes right through Sangwon.
“At least it’s just a shirt—”
“It’s not just a shirt!” Leo snapped, cutting him off.
Sangwon flinched. He just stared, confused.
“This jersey… It’s from my first win. The game when I decided that I will be a professional one day.”
Nothing. Sangwon’s face just stayed blank. The way Leo held that sleeve, it really was important, not just an old jersey. You could see pain, memories and who knows what else in Leo’s eyes.
“I… didn’t know. You weren’t even supposed to be here.” Sangwon’s stomach dropped.
“What—?” Leo’s head snapped up.
“The library doesn’t open for another hour. I’m here for extra credits and I obviously didn’t think anyone else would show up this early,” Sangwon muttered, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.
“Oh, so now it’s my fault?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“You basically did!” Leo’s voice shot up. “You rip my jersey and it’s somehow my fault?”
“You could’ve— I don’t know, maybe sat somewhere else? Or let me know you are here?!”
Leo looked like he might explode. His fist clenched around his arm with almost ripped sleeve, jaw tight. Taking off his jersey, throwing into the nearest bin, he simply left.
Sangwon wished he could crawl into the nearest bookshelf and disappear. Forever.
April 2024
Sangwon sat there, fork in hand, halfway to take a bite. Suddenly a sharp voice cut through the whole cafeteria. Someone sounded seriously pissed off. And yeah, Sangwon recognized the voice.
“Who bought the last cheesecake?”
Sangwon almost stopped breathing. Seriously? Again? Why did it always have to be him? He considered just ignoring it, pretending he hadn’t heard. But then those heavy footsteps thudded closer, impossible to miss. Leo. He was right behind him. Sangwon, being a total grown-up, took the tiniest, slowest bite of cheesecake he could manage. Just to pretend he is invisible. So maybe no-one will notice him.
“Oh, come on, you’re kidding me,” Leo hissed. “That was the last one.”
“Really? Wow, that’s tragic.” Sangwon spun around, pulling on his most innocent face.
“You knew it was the last piece.” Leo glared.
“Yeah, and it was on the shelf. I had money, so I obviously bought it. Simple math… even for someone like you.” He shrugged, done with the conversation.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Leo leaned in, palms flat on the table.
Sangwon stabbed the cheesecake again, eyes locked on Leo’s.
“Oh, absolutely.”
They stared at each other. Leo smirked, but it didn’t make Sangwon flinch.
“I have to admit that you’ve got guts, nerd. I’ll give you that.” Leo tilted his head, grin widening.
“Somebody has to,” Sangwon said, taking another slow bite.
Then Junseo popped up behind Leo, eyebrows raised like he’d walked into a drama.
“Seriously, are you two actually fighting over a piece of dessert?”
“It’s not just a dessert!” Leo barked, not even blinking.
“Oh, sorry. Is this your lucky cheesecake too?” Sangwon chewed and smiled sweetly.
Leo blinked, momentarily thrown off, then burst out laughing. He crossed his arms and eyed the cheesecake like it was gold.
“Alright. Name your price.”
“What?” Sangwon stared.
“The cheesecake,” Leo said, dead serious. “How much do you want for it?”
“It’s not for sale.”
“Everything’s for sale. Ten bucks.” Leo just grinned.
“Not happening.”
“Fine, twenty.” He shrugged.
“You’re actually serious?”
“Dead serious.”
Honestly, Sangwon almost burst out laughing. Was this really his life now? Fighting the hockey captain over a slice of cheesecake?
“You know,” he started, “you could just go buy something else.”
“Of course you don’t get it. Again.” Leo leaned in.
“Oh, so it really is some kind of spiritual, life-changing cheesecake?” Sangwon rolled his eyes.
“Exactly.”
Before Sangwon could even reach for a napkin, Leo snatched up the last bit of cream and wiped it right on Sangwon’s cheek. Right in front of everyone. The cafeteria froze. Heads turned. Sangwon just sat there, cheeks on fire, feeling the sticky mess and wishing he could melt into the floor. Leo burst out laughing, looking way too pleased with himself. Sangwon wanted to throw his plate at him.
That was it. He snapped.
“You’re the most egoistic, self-centered and brainless jerk this university’s ever seen!” he yelled.
Somebody in the crowd gasped. A couple of people tried to hide their laughter, but honestly, most of them just lost it. Leo’s smile faded. His jaw tightened, and his eyes flashed like he was ready to fight.
“Watch yourself, nerd,” he growled. “You probably don’t know who you’re talking to.”
“Oh, I know exactly who you are. Just a spoiled athlete who thinks the world revolves around his hockey stick.” Sangwon said, unimpressed.
Leo clenched his fists and moved closer. So close, that Sangwon could smell mint and cologne.
“You should shut your fucking mouth,” Leo muttered.
Sangwon’s hands shook, but he didn’t back down.
“Maybe you should try acting like a decent human being for once.”
They glared at each other, tension filling the air.
Then out of nowhere, Junseo spoke up.
“Leo, we should leave.”
Leo sighed, ran a hand through his hair, but still didn’t look away.
“Whatever,” he mumbled, turning around.
Sangwon finally wiped his cheek.
After that day things only got worse. Hell had a new name, and it was Lee Leo. It wasn’t every single day, but it was enough to make Sangwon change.
Whenever they crossed path, Leo would mutter something about “nerds who walk too slow” or “nerds who are good for nothing”.
But you know what hurt more? Words like: “you are nothing just a pretty face” “nothing more than just a body”“so vulnerable, to please other people in bed”
“But don’t worry, even if I liked guys, I wouldn’t touch you with my hockey stick.”
And Sangwon could always hear the laughter, loudly ringing in his ears.
The guy who usually laughed things off, who made every moment a joke… just froze every time hearing Leo’s voice. He kept telling himself that Leo was just another jerk craving attention and enjoying being a bully. But those nasty words stuck with him. They crept in when he was alone reading or when he was overthinking before going to sleep. Every morning he was staring at his reflection, trying to convince himself he was more than just the butt of someone else’s joke.
He wanted to be angry, to yell, to break something. Anything. But he felt so small, like he was disappearing. He hated it. He hated how Leo’s voice followed him into sleep, how even a careless look could tighten his chest with something he couldn’t name. And worst of all? Deep down, beyond the anger and shame, he remembered how Leo used to smile at him from across the bleachers. That hot, sloppy kiss when Leo was drunk. It hurt how his heart still raced at the memory.
The kiss...
That was it. He was done pretending it didn’t hurt. He was done with fake smiles. He was done with pretending he didn’t care. One night, he stood in front of the mirror, lightly touching the edge of his favourite denim shorts—the ones he wore almost every sunny day. He glanced at the shirt draped over a chair, the one that showed a little skin, his collarbone, his slim silhouette. He used to love that feeling: the freedom, the confidence. Just the feeling of being attractive and pretty. Now all he heard was Leo's mocking voice: “Pretty face and slender body for what?”
His throat tightened. He folded the shirt and hid it deep in his drawer, as if he was hiding a crime. One by one, he packed away everything that had made him feel like himself. Goodbye fitted jeans. Farewell to colourful sweaters that made him feel at home in his skin.
Just like that, it all was gone.
And Leo? Time kept moving. Blink, and the seasons changed. Practices piled up, and the campus filled with new faces and new drama. Somewhere in all that, Leo changed too. Not that he’d ever admit it.
He couldn’t say when it started. Maybe it was those early mornings at the library, scanning the room for messy dark hair bent over a book. Or the pointless walks past the literature campus. He told himself it was just a habit. Curiosity. Nothing more. Because it was much easier than admitting the truth.
But what was the truth?
Why did it matter what Sangwon was reading, or if he smiled at something in his book, or if he burst out laughing when Anxin joked around? Why did Leo slow down every time he walked by, pretending to check his phone? And why did it hurt to see Sangwon so different now?
The person who used to light up a room just by walking in was gone. Now, there were only baggy clothes, quiet footsteps, and sleeves hiding hands. Leo kept telling himself, that they are not friends, so it’s not his problem. Not his business. People change, that happens. That’s what life and maturing feels like.
Worst of all? Leo didn’t realize he was the one who caused it.
For once, he had no idea how to fix what he broke.