Chapter Text
Stiles couldn't quite eat his dinner, just sort of pushed it around his plate. "Dad?" He looked up and realized wait, his dad was doing the same. "You okay?"
"About as okay as you." His dad stood up, and threw out most of the food. "Something…weird happened today, and I am not supposed to tell you about it."
Stiles thought about the letter that sat in his school bag, "Something weird happened to me too, and I am also not supposed to tell anyone." They stared at each other. "Living room?"
"Living room," his dad agreed and they both went, settled into their preferred chairs for when they both had to sort a puzzle out. "I can't tell you, that was made clear to me, and I do want to respect that."
"Same," Stiles drummed his hands against his thighs, "won't tell you. But if we happened to guess. Like say you lightly interrogated your underage son?"
"And if you were concerned something happened at work and pushed to make sure my mental health was not suffering due to stressers from my job," his dad nodded thoughtfully, "what can you do? Just father and son, chatting and stumbling into information out of concern for each other."
Stiles realized they both held their hands the same way when they were thinking. "So rough day at work, Dad?" Good to start with an easy lob.
"Mostly the usual, and trust me was relieved to not see your name in any of the files, but the afternoon was eventful."
"Hmm," in the afternoon, okay. "Eventful is eventful."
"Was your day eventful at school?"
"I mean Harris is and always will be a dick," Stiles groaned. "Why does he hate me, Dad?"
"Because he is a dick," his dad replied, "and the sort of dick where if I pointed out he was picking on you, he'd just do it more. Strange though that the red light cams tend to get his car a lot."
"Love you, Dad."
"So after school, then, was practice eventful?"
"I mean my left buttcheek got numb instead of my right on the bench?" Stiles shrugged. "Work often gets eventful, but sometimes I know people stop by just to chat with the sheriff."
"Yup, and yup there was chatting." A hmm noise, "you were late getting home even from lacrosse practice almost like your eventful happened after that. Did you run into someone?"
"I did, yeah," Stiles agreed. "It was an interesting conversation. Did you have an interesting conversation?" He bet the conversation was the same interesting conversation.
"A very interesting conversation. Did your conversation also include documentation?"
"Did yours?" Stiles countered. "Of a certain nature that is often in movies?"
"Movies really do like to depict what happened today, especially ones that your mama adored."
His mom had adored rom coms. That matched with the letter he had got today. "Was there also perhaps the suggestion of a future in the conversations?"
"Mmhmm," his dad agreed, "did yours allude to a series of steps that were to remain secret?"
"Was yours about approving those steps happening to me since I am underage?" That made sense that Derek had also gone to his dad, since it seemed this was being played by the book.
"No," his dad said. They stared at each other and both didn't run, but moved purposefully and quickly to their stuff. They switched to the table, because this was getting serious. They sat there, both of them, fancy envelopes in front of them. Same colour. "Interesting, we aren't supposed to show these to anyone."
"Arguably, though with me being underage, the rules are just slightly more flexible, and if say I were to leave this here while I went to take a leak, who could stop a concerned dad who is also the county sheriff?" Stiles stood, stretched and went upstairs instead of to the small half bath on this floor. When he came back the letter was open and clearly read.
"I think I'm going to make myself a cup of tea, you need one?"
"Yeah, Dad, I'd appreciate that," Stiles smiled a bit. He waited until he heard the faucet and opened his dad's letter. Which shit, it wasn't asking for permission to court Stiles, it was his own formal courtship request. Shit.
Talk about eventful day.
His dad came back with two mugs, "Now Stiles, I am afraid I have to lecture you about reading personal correspondence. Lecture, bad, wrong, no."
"I understand and will accept the punishment of having to go to bed at midnight," Stiles nodded solemnly, "and I know you betrayed my trust and read my letter only out of parental concern, and will not do that again."
"Of course." They tapped their mugs together in solidarity of mischief and mayhem. Everyone thought his dad was a good guy, and he was, the best guy, but like Stiles had to get it from somewhere. People blamed his mom, but it was a good chunk his dad too.
"So Derek Hale," his dad scratched his cheek. "You okay with that?"
"Yeah, he's hot, haven't really talked to him much, but must be legit if he did the formal letter of werewolf intent and courtship of human personage. God, wish they had thought of a better name for it." Stiles snorted, "do you think they used the same template?"
"I mean other than names the things are exactly the same. Interesting though, that Talia didn't sign off on them, the alpha of a pack usually does."
"Huh, really? Haven't done the most research on this, only what I had to do for Scottie's ceremony as his dude." He'd be researching tonight though.
"Seen one of these before, a case a decade ago? Someone tried to assault a human who was being courted. Fuck, that was a gruesome one. Assaulter ripped to shreds, dick torn clean off. And the Hales are an old family, bet they are playing this super traditional, no one knows at all who the wolf is courting, to keep the human safe." His dad was clearly thinking, and honestly Stiles loved watching his dad think. Because sometimes he wondered if his dad was also a bit adhd but it hadn't been understood at the time, and his dad had a few decades of coping mechanisms under his belt. "Shit, this is the Argents' fault."
"Yeah?"
"Look you don't know this —" his dad pointed, "but Allison's aunt and grandfather, tried to fuck with the Hales. Tried to play that Kate was a true mate to one of the wolves, can't remember who in the pack. Now it doesn't work like that, humans don't know, can't smell that, but they swore with their lineage of hunters they had like super senses or some bullshit. It was a con of course, to get in and hurt the Hales."
"Holy shit," Stiles leaned forward. "When was this?"
"About eight years ago? I was a deputy, called in for backup at the big showdown, didn't even get anywhere close to the action," his dad frowned, "they were put under arrest. Kate attacked the sheriff and well," there was a helpless shrug which Stiles knew meant Kate had been killed. "Gerard is still in jail."
"So, how is what is happening right now their fault?"
"Because made the family hyper cautious when it came to human. Laura, Talia's successor luckily their mate is another wolf. But if Peter and Derek are mated to us, they'd be terrified. That Talia wouldn't approve after what happened, that maybe there would be interference, I don't know. But the point is, they are going to be playing this by the book."
Stiles frowned, "Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"Do we have to play it by the book too? Like I am guessing I can't tell Scott?" He told Scott everything.
"You can't," his dad confirmed. "And he'll be busy the next couple of weeks anyways in mated bliss and all that jazz." His dad laughed, and Stiles raised a brow, "Scott will have to fuck Allison with her dad just a few doors down since they are living there until they are legal."
Stiles choked on air on that. "Oh my god, Dad!" But he began to laugh a bit too, because it was sorta funny.
They sat there and looked at the letters. "I don't know how I feel about being Peter Hale's mate," his dad finally said. He worried the wedding ring, he still wore. "How do you feel about it? Being a widower there is precedence I can refuse the courtship. Wolves don't actually die if rejected at this stage."
Stiles gave it some honest thought. "I don't know? Mom has been gone for a long time. But she was the best. Do you even like guys?" There was a bit of ruddiness on his cheek. "Dad, are you bi?" Holy shit, tonight was a night for revelations.
"Maybe? Your mom always used to tease me for how I responded to actors in movies just as much as actresses and…things happened in the army before her."
"Cool," Stiles reassured and hugged his dad, just as his dad had done when Stiles had come out to him. "I'm going to go to college eventually, and you like having someone around. I don't mind. Promise."
That got a nod and a pat to his arm. "Guess we see how this plays out a bit?"
"We aren't keeping it secret between us though, right?" Stiles would need to talk to someone about all this.
"Nope, fuck that rule. We'll find loopholes," his dad reassured. He stared at the letters. "We're being courted as potential true mates to one of the oldest packs on the west coast. Didn't expect that."
Stiles stared at the signature on his letter. Derek Hale. "Yeah, didn't expect that at all."
"Dad?"
"Up here," was called down but he checked his dad's room, his, the bathroom. No dad. "Here," was called again.
Stiles stared at the door. At the room, they both pretended wasn't there. He slowly went in. It didn't smell like her anymore, it couldn't after all these years. But you could feel her in here, he swore. "Dad?" It took him a minute to step into his mom's sewing room. They hadn't left it exactly how she had, it was tidy and could function as a guest room for when Yaya visited, but he and his dad didn't come in here except to air it out or prep for grandma visit.
"Hey," his dad reached out and hugged him. "I know it's stupid, but this way it felt like your mom was a part of this. Plus she had her board."
"Board?" Stiles looked to the wall and there was a empty pinboard. She used to hang magazine pictures on it, fabric swatches, a leaf, anything that inspired her. "She connected them all with that yarn from when she tried knitting and hated it. Dad—"
"I know," his dad had to clear his throat. "She was just like you, a conspiracy nut, only for pattern matching."
Stiles went over and touched the pin board. Her pins had cute little flowers on the end. "Hey, Mom," he whispered as he pressed a finger to the cork. "I'm officially being courted by Derek Hale. Got the first gift and everything."
"Hey, Claudia, I'm being courted by Peter Hale, if you don't mind. First gift and everything."
They both listened to the silence that was silence, because even a world with werewolves, dead generally meant dead for humans. But they both felt better. "I'm getting my letter," Stiles said. He went to his room and grabbed it from the desk. "Right or left?"
"Right," his dad said and hung his letter on the board. Stiles put his up. He was handed a stack of evidence number tags. "You are getting ten gifts, I'm getting eight." Numbers were also being put up on his side of the board.
"You get to less? Fuck that, Dad, you deserve ten too! You are turning his ass down, why isn't he being nice to you. I'll kick him or punch him, or something!" What the hell? Okay so he couldn't take down Peter Hale, that guy was know as Talia's muscle, but like he'd think of something. He could get real mean when the situation called for it.
"I get eight out of respect, kid."
"How is that respect, to get two less?"
"Because I'm old, Stiles, well settled into a career and don't need to be financially cared for. Two of your gifts are going to show that Derek can provide for you, and will also respect your youth."
"What does that mean?"
"Honestly not too sure, because if it is a mate situation, you're allowed to have sexual intercourse legally anytime after fifteen. Archaic allow you to finish education maybe?"
"Yeah," Stiles nodded, "I mean I want to, but also they are rich, so maybe G.E.D and lay about in the lap of luxury until college?"
"You like school Stiles."
"I do? Learn something new about yourself every day."
"You need the enrichment of making Harris' life hell."
Fair. "So what'd you get?"
"Can't tell you, remember?"
"Shit, right, okay so all the gifts have symbolic meanings right, we got cards for that to put up there, too?" He was handed a small laminated stack. His dad had freaking laminated them. He loved the guy so much. Also seriously, he was sneaking an adhd quiz onto his dad somehow. He hung the explanation beside the number. "So my first gift is to show intent, you?"
"Mmhmm," his dad agreed.
"Needs to be splashy, but not like crazy." It was in his bag and he was itching to show his dad, but they had to play the game a bit longer. "It doesn't have to be like the perfect gift to show he knows me, because we've had like three conversations."
"But it has to show willingness to learn, a guess at who you might be," his dad concluded. "He did okay? Like it isn't bad?"
Thank god, "same. I dunno, I was expecting a bit more? Not financially, just something?" Stiles thought about movies and stuff. "Like they always nail it in movies."
"Or it is the worst possible thing, something they are allergic to, you know for the comedic effect. Almost would prefer that to just…fine."
What would his dad consider fine. Stiles thought about it, thought about the bit he knew of Peter Hale from around town. "Shit, did he get you a book?"
Finger guns were pointed in his direction. And Stiles had to wince, because you didn't get his dad books as a gift. His dad always said since he was made sheriff he read so many reports every day, that reading wasn't relaxing anymore. He would watch every documentary under the sun, but reading exhausted him too much. A book was pulled out and put on the table. A history of the customs of supernatural creatures. Stiles almost purred at all the information that was going to be in it. He heard a whirr and realized his dad had found an old polaroid camera and taken a picture to put on the wall. "You want it? I know it could have useful information for me about what we are dealing with, and also in general handy for work but, fuck it is huge."
Stiles immediately grabbed it possessively. "I'll make some cliff notes for you," he promised. It was such a good gift, just not for his dad. "Worth probably a lot, the Hales are rumoured to have one of the best libraries on this side of the country."
"They have the best everything on this side of the country when it comes to weres. So was your gift better?" His dad sounded so hopeful, because he clearly wanted it to be perfect and awesome and romantic for Stiles. Like he didn't care if his courtship was bad, so long as Stiles was good. He hated to burst the bubble.
"Similar situation," he sighed. "It is good. But you know, yeah," he groaned.
"Dear god, it doesn't involve sports, does it?"
His dad was always on the ball. He put the season's pass for the local double A ball team on the table. "I guess because I'm on the lacrosse team with Scott, go to our ball games, he thought I'd be into it." He mostly went because Danny needed someone cheering for him, and Stiles would always support his friends. Plus Lydia loved watching baseball something about the statistics of it all. And he liked watching her when she stripped away all the fake, and let her brain show itself off.
"Shit, we brought up a couple guys this year, good shot we make it pretty far in the playoffs this year."
"And I can't give it to you, because you know he has ticket too and that would be weird. But if I could I would." His dad loved baseball, because that was absolutely the type of dad he was. Stiles grabbed the polaroid and snapped the pic, added it to the board. "They are good intent gifts."
"Hmm," his dad agreed. "Why doesn't this feel right? When Casey got courted she was all heart eyes out the wazoo and this just all feels —"
"Weird," Stiles agreed. "Maybe because we never expected to be courted by wolves?"
There was a grunt of agreement to that and Stiles just clutched the book tightly.
They were in the craft room and staring at the board that at this point was half done. Five gifts for Stiles, four for his dad. At this point they weren't even trying to pretend to follow the rules of courtship, they just flat out told each other everything.
"Here's the thing," his dad said, "I know he's clever. He's Peter freaking Hale, I get he's the smartest guy in the room."
"Smarter than me?" Stiles asked supremely confident of the answer his father would give.
"No one is smarter than you, told your Mama she should have a few drinks when she was pregnant to not make a kid that could run circles around me."
Stiles smiled, because that was the answer he had been given ever since the adhd diagnosis. "You like smart people."
"Smart asses," his dad replied, "but he wants me to know it? And praise it? Like good boy, yes you are clever? But also he doesn't? Why can't he just enjoy the quiet?"
"Showing off for perspective mate?" Stiles offered. "And at least yours talks. Derek is a big fan of looming and silence. I know he's smart, he says things occasionally, and you just want him to talk more, find out how he came to that idea or thought, but nope. I think maybe he is cursed or something. Has a finite amount of words he can say in a day? He is cryptic. Not like Deaton and his wah wah balance bullshit, but just like ugh I don't even know."
"You could never be with an idiot," his dad agreed. "I couldn't either. Smart people are hot."
"Ew, you don't find anyone hot," Stiles shuddered a bit. "But like okay so cards on the table? And we swear to listen to each other without judgement because we literally have no one else to talk to about this?"
"I think maybe I want to have the same conversation," his dad agreed.
Stiles had to pace, and not look at his dad as he said this. "Need to be clear, Derek is hot. Like objectively that guy is gorgeous, like just, what the fuck, how is someone that gorgeous?"
"Peter is ridiculously handsome," was said and a sigh, "and yes I could picture myself in bed with him and having a good time. But maybe it's because he is being all courtly, that we just haven't had a chance to really…know?"
"He kissed me and it was nice, like a solid seven out of ten."
"But if you are his mate, it should be an eight point five due to nerves, and then a twelve at a minimum?"
Thank god his dad understood. "That's it exactly! Why is this whole thing just fine? It shouldn't just be fine, Derek should be all over me, like I should have finally had a hand other than my own on my dick!"
"Wait, you and Scott never?"
Stiles turned and looked at his dad. "I'm sorry, what?" He needed to sit down. "Me and Scott never what?" He was freaking out a bit. "What did you think Scott and I were doing?"
"I dunno hand jobs, blow jobs. Figured you wouldn't have gone farther than that, Scott seemed like he'd be squeamish about the practicalities of anal sex."
Stiles needed a minute. He took a few slow breaths. "Why?" He was lost.
"Because you were a horny teenager, and curious?" There was an easy shrug. "His name was Collins, for me. Wonder if I still don't have a gag reflex."
"How much jack did you put in that coke can?" Stiles shuddered a bit. "Never say the words gag reflex to me again! And wow, like I don't know if I am proud of your chill attitude or insulted you think I'd blow Scott, because you know he never would have blown me."
"Yeah, that was my biggest concern there." His dad held out the can and Stiles sniffed, there was nothing in it. "You two spent a lot of time playing video games, figured some of the shouting couldn't be Call of Duty and ignored it. Same as my grandmother, couldn't make a baby, was your first so no stds, so who the hell cares?"
"Wait, Yaya is that cool?" Stiles was floored.
"Her Collins was named Magda."
"I am learning too much today," Stiles sighed. "No, Dad, nothing with Scott. He only likes girls, like to an extreme degree. Which good for him, love is love and all that." That got a snort from his dad, "but look this was bad enough just talking about the kissing, but I need -"
"It doesn't feel like your mate really wants you, and it is heartbreaking because wolves instincts are always right, so that makes you believe there is something wrong with you?"
Stiles stood and ran downstairs. He grabbed the jack off the shelf and brought it back, poured a hefty shot into the coke can and took a sip. "He had me on his lap, and we kissed and I got hard because hey hot guy lap, kiss that was a seven out of ten, and he…didn't. He didn't care at all." He held the can back out to his dad, who also took a sip.
"Peter was better at faking it," his dad said. "Son, I could have gone the rest of my life with my left hand, had several years to get used to it. Sorry," he said after a moment. "Nevermind."
Stiles hated this, and he was sure his dad did too, but also they literally had no one but each other for this. "No, go for it," he said, "I don't mind." He absolutely minded, but he didn't mind.
"I would have been fine being faithful to a ghost, who isn't even haunting me," his dad said after a moment, "because frankly, who would be interested in a middle aged sheriff who still wears his damn ring, and is boring?"
"What?" Stiles scowled, "who ever said that bullshit to you. Wait, did Peter imply you are boring?"
There was hesitation. "I was reading too much into it. He just likes being acerbic and didn't mean anything by it. But the main point is that I would have been fine. But then I was told that a gorgeous werewolf realized I was his goddamn mate, and like according to every textbook ever that should mean he wants me more than he wants to breathe. And he looks bored when he pulls me in to kiss me. Like it is a chore."
"Derek looks confused, and maybe he accidentally called me annoying?" Stiles sighed. "Dad, how shitty it must be for them to find their true mates, and fucking hate the people their biology says is perfect for them."
"Not so great for us either," his dad said. "We gotta break it off."
"Yeah," Stiles agreed.
They sat on the ground of the former sewing room and finished the jack and coke they were splitting as stared at the board.
"Something isn't adding up," the said at the same time.
The worst thing in the world was to give the Stilinskis a puzzle that seemed impossible. Because they were going to solve it, and they were going to make that everyone's problem.
Stiles saw Peter one aisle over in the small bookstore and he thought about all his options, and most of his options that were the correct ones involved ignoring the guy.
Which meant of course that he went over and Peter would have heard and smelled him coming, but he probably thought Stiles was just walking past. Peter gave a bit of a head nod, but froze and was staring at him in confusion.
Stiles wondered what his emotions were reading to the guy, because he bet in there was rage. He didn't expect his shove to work, but Peter seemed so stunned that Stiles manged to push him back into the shelf. Stiles braced his hands on either side of Peter's head. "Boring? You called my dad boring?" he hissed, and bared his teeth in overt challenge. Ask him if he cared?
He didn't know what to do for a moment when Peter tilted his neck in submission. "I'm sorry?" was what Peter said.
"You damn well better be. My dad is not boring." He leaned in more. "What is boring about pulling yourself out of grief that almost drowns you, what is boring about believing in protecting this town, what is boring about a man who pulls an all nighter to help me study when he knows shit all about chemistry? What the fuck is boring about a man with a heart as huge as his?"
"Nothing," Peter rasped out.
"That's fucking right. Now court him better, or I'll kick your ass. He deserves the world."
"You know?"
"And he called you smart," Stiles sneered, "looks like a dumbwolf to me. Do better!" he shouted. He ran out of the bookstore before he could be ordered to leave.
Oh fuck, he had just broken so many courtship rules, and also confronted Peter freaking Hale. He might get murdered in his sleep. He drove to the station, only to be told his dad called in sick. His dad had still pulled a full shift even when dealing with acute appendicitis.
Stiles hurried home, and frankly expected to find a dying man.
What he didn't expect to find was his dad stringing yarn up on the courtship board, and muttering to himself. Wow, was this what it looked like when he got going? "Hey, Dad, you ever wonder if you have adhd?"
"What, no?" his dad stepped back. "Stiles, see, do you see?"
"I see you freaking out. Like a lot, what happened?" How had his dad found out about him confronting Peter so quickly? "I'm sorry, I was just so mad."
"No, what, huh?" His dad went back, and moved some of the string. "I'm so damn close. It's right there. But here's the thing, why now?"
"What do you mean why now?"
"Peter and Derek knew us. Not well but around town, and all of that. So why decide now that we are mates?"
"Well, because," Stiles paused, "wait, that's actually a good point. Why now?"
"What if mates isn't all just on their side?" His dad pointed at the board, which had a picture of Scott and Allison in the middle from their bonding ceremony. "That day, we both got letters three days later right?"
"Yeah?" Okay, Stiles was starting to understand why people got a little scared when he was in charge of the conspiracy. "Hey, Dad? Just out of curiosity is your head ever quiet?"
"What do you mean, quiet? Like when you just have the inner voice, but there isn't the music or buzzing layer in there too?"
"So yeah, I asked Derek about this on our nature walk. And turns out it is just quiet in his head."
"Yeah yeah, pull the other one. Focus."
"No, Dad, legit, when I said the voice in your head, he was like what voice?" That got his dad to pause. "Yup just quiet."
"Bullshit, no one is just quiet in their brain. There is always like what two, three layers of stuff?"
"How would you feel about taking an adhd quiz? Just for curiosity sake?"
"Stiles, I don't have adhd, I don't do the stuff you do."
"Don't you, though?" How hadn't he before this realized all his dad's coping behaviours. "You just come from pre-diagnosis era and learned, or were forced to learn, coping strategies." He thought of the bullet that his dad spun on a desk or table when he needed to think. Though of a million little things that were variations on all the stuff Stiles did. He went over and hugged his dad. "I'm sorry, I didn't see it."
"See what? Everyone has little ticks and twitches and tells. That's just life."
"Sure, Dad, yup," he agreed, because wasn't the time to push it. "So what, you are saying we were so happy for Scott, that it turned us into mates to wolves?"
"No, that's insane. But I didn't wear my ring that day," his dad said. "We were running late because of Mrs. Johnson swearing that there was a man in her house, and I had to get dressed fast, and didn't put it on."
"So?"
"When I realized at the ceremony, I wasn't upset," there was a glance at his hand and Stiles realized his dad wasn't wearing the ring, and hadn't actually been wearing it for a few weeks now. "I usually fussed with the finger with it missing, would run back home to get it. Especially at a ceremony all about love and devotion. I was fine, what if in that moment, I sort of opened myself up? Like Derek hadn't recognized me as his mate before, because only then was I actually available for it?"
"But what about me? I don't have - oh shit, I didn't get jealous when I saw Lydia and Jackson kissing. I was like completely okay with it. I'd been in love with her since grade three and always jealous and I watched them on the dance floor, and he kissed her with this dopey smile on his face, finally properly looking like he loved her, and I was just like hey good for them." Stiles stared at the bored. "Wait, you said Derek."
"Huh?"
"You said what if Derek hadn't recognized me."
"No, I said Peter." His dad turned, looked at the board. "Didn't I?"
"Dad, did you talk to Derek today?"
"Yeah," his dad said. "He was going to his shop, and I just sort of went over to him, and got in his face about not treating you right, and he was just frozen?"
"I did the same to Peter."
They stared at each other. They moved the yarn around and stepped back. Finally everything snapped into place. "Oh my god," his dad muttered, "what fucking idiots."
"Us or them?"
"I don't even know," his dad was staring, "they are courting the wrong guy." His dad looked at him, "You cannot be courted by Peter Hale."
"Because of the age gap?"
"No, because he's a murderer? I think. He absolutely feels like he's killed people, and as Talia's left hand, it is sanctioned so long as they are supernatural or a rogue hunter. But, like, I just feel like somewhere out there someone has been murdered for wearing white after Labour Day."
Stiles snorted a bit at that. Because yeah, Peter did give off those sorts of vibes. "Hey, we only have what 18 years between us, aren't you like twenty years older than Derek, maybe twenty two?" Stiles grinned, "what if he has a daddy kink, easy play for you, you could actually be his daddy."
"Watch it, or I'll make a joke about Peter being your dog." His dad lightly cuffed his head. "We have to tell them."
"We do," Stiles agreed. He looked at the board, thought about how they had been hurt, made even accidentally to feel small. Unwanted by the people who were supposed to want them most in this world. "but, Dad? We can only tell them once."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean they are wolves, this is literally in their blood to create pack and recognize mates, and they fucked it up. We have had shitty courtship because they were dumbasses, and we deserve recompense."
"That feels mean, son. This has probably been so confusing for them."
Stiles very carefully grabbed his father's shoulders. "Derek took me fishing. At dawn. He also suggested a run. At dawn." He knew his gaze must have been haunted, because frankly he wasn't sure he was going to get over that hell. "He was sure I would like the quiet of dawn."
"God, I miss dawn fishing," his dad sighed dreamily, and Stiles had to shake him.
"Exactly, and you should have been having that! But I got taken on it. Dawn, Dad. DAWN."
"It was a gallery, the art looked like barf and nightmares. I like art, but I want to look at it and say that is a pretty tree. Nice sunset. Not this is dark romance number five and it is just swirls that look like you made it in the second grade."
Stiles growled a bit, "you got take to Mercier's exhibit in Sacramento? I love that guy's shit. I spent a year's allowance to get that tiny painting next to my door."
"We got taken on each other's dates," his dad began to curse. "Stubborn, idiot, clueless wolves! I have missed out on half the season. I could have been at so many ballgames."
"I could have been living in the Hale archives," Stiles moaned at the thought of all those books, and of Peter coming up behind him as he was reading and —and he needed to cut out all the thoughts that he was having.
"Right, we get a little bit of revenge. A tiny bit, Stiles," his dad warned. "Just the tiniest."
"Of course, tiny. Teeny tiny. But we are entitled to compensation. I want my perfect mate kiss, dammit."
That got a nod. "Okay, so how do we make people suffer? That's more your speed than mine."
"Hey," Stiles stuck out his tongue. "But also, yeah, let's clear the board and start a new one. Hey, Mom, wherever you are, if you can see this, hope you enjoy the show."
"Hey Claudia, wherever you are, if you want you can absolutely spy on me, during anything that happens in the future. Know you always liked to watch."
Stiles gagged a bit. "Okay, going to be happy when this is over and I can go back to Scott as my confidant, and not my dad." He was taking pins out of the board, and his dad didn't snap back. Stiles looked over, as his dad seemed a bit too focused on unknotting the yarn ravels.
He thought of how much this had brought them together. Of how they had always loved and protected, cared for each other. But this had unified them in a way they hadn't been for a long time. He dropped his pins, not caring that he'd regret that later and hugged his dad. "Just the sex stuff. Promise, lots of Dad time ahead."
He felt a return hug, a kiss to his head. "Okay." A pat to his arm. "So, how do we make werewolves suffer, because we can't do shit to them physically."
"Sure, but we can destroy their psyches, Dad, emotional damage."
"Seriously though, how did they not figure it out? You clearly belong with Peter so you two can always try to outsmart each other."
Stiles thought about it, "wonder if they were going for some yin and yang stuff. Like balance out the worst of each other?"
"Yeah, opposites attract is bullshit. Tried that once, luckily you Mama punched her and said, yeah I'll be taking him off your hands."
"Really?" Stiles stared at his dad. "Maybe, like you could tell me more stories about Mom, like young Mom?"
"I can do that," his dad agreed. "Do you think Peter's attractive? I mean you've been thinking it's Derek, but well. He is older than you by a lot. Maybe a serial killer. And he wears v-neck tshirts."
"That's really the greatest crime of all of it for you isn't it?"
"What's wrong with a good crew neck?" his dad complained.
He adored the guy so much. "Yeah, Dad, I think…I think he and I will fit together. It will be messy because I think he's probably an asshole."
"Oh he is," his dad muttered. "But also, you need a challenge and he'll challenge you. You want that give and take. Also I know you want out of here, at least for a while and I think he'd be very willing to do that with you."
"I don't -" his dad just gave him a look. "Okay, so I want gone, for college and maybe just there are so many places where weird shit happens and I want to go there to better understand our weird shit. Then I'm coming home and joining the force and you and I will be terrifying to any bad guys. And also I just feel like if I am with Peter having the ability to arrest him, will be a good idea."
That got a laugh from his dad. "Let's make the plan then," his dad said, and a new board was built.
How to torture their fake mates, and get their real ones. It was a totally great and awesome plan, and nothing would go wrong.