Chapter Text
It hurt's
Everything hurts, why?is da back?did da think he did magic again?but he did not!,at least not on purpose .he has been good and kept waiting he promises ! But if da back does it mean Ma back too? She did not leave him! But where is she ? Everything hurts...
This is not fair!
Severus has been good, he helped his mama,kept quiet when da came back from work especially when da got all wonky!
He knows he shouldn't have done magic. It was an accident,the cup just slipped and was about to break he just panicked, it's mama’s favorite tea cup! she would have gotten cross with him and gone all quiet again.
If only he heard the kitchen door opening but he was too focused on the floating cup , the next thing he knew he was kicked hard on the back and pulled by his hair downstairs to the basement “I told you to stop this unnatural freakiness nonsense in my house”Tobias word slurred but still carried the same venom whenever it was about magic.
‘ah it's wonky da today ‘Severus thought as his da's word slurred but his fist was firm on his hair before he threw him in the basement head first hitting the dirty ground “what can I do more to stop you being this… this disgusting thing ,why … why are you insisting on being a bad son Severus, why are you ruining this family?!. I did everything, why can't you be normal again!!!” Tobies screamed while sobbing , with one last glare and a mutter of no dinner he slammed the door shut and locked it, enveloping Severus in darkness.
He doesn't know how long he laid there clutching his head and crying waiting for his mama to open the door ,he probably slept at some point since opening his eyes later the first thing he noticed was his head stopped hurting and his hungry stomach,but when he moved to get up He got tripped over …clothes?
On the ground he was surrounded by a pile of clothes, black dress shoes with black trousers and… is this the cape that silly person on telly wears ?what was he called again? Right batman , Severus couldn't supress the giggle it looked so silly .But da hates batman why would they have one in the basement?
Sitting there on the basement floor Severus wondered if da took his clothes as a punishment for being bad . But it doesn't make any sense to exchange it with this nice white shirt that is much softer than anything he ever owned! Even if it's too big and keeps slipping over one of his shoulders with too long sleeves it's still the best thing he ever wore,and it's so warm too!
“Did I make it with magic? I need to show mama!”he exclamated .
but mama did not come back that day
He waited another day but she was still not back yet, he even went upstairs risking his father's anger ‘ what if she is hurt‘ he thought But no one was there, the house was empty but he kept waiting in his room no matter how much his stomach screamed at him to eat ,he didn't.
Maybe da will see me being a good boy leaving food for him and mama and won't be so mad that I left the basement!
With the thought of his mother, tears welled in his eyes without permission.his tummy feels awful,his back hurts and it's too hard to breathe with his chest hurting so much with each breath and his Mama is still not back yet. He misses her, it has been forever since he last seen her. What if she left like that old lady said ?
Sobs and hiccups escaped him out of control ,he tried trapping them in because good sons don't cry he is being difficult again ,but it was useless because someone is here alrea-. Someone is here?
“Mama? … Ma it hurts “
Opening his eyes to see even though the room was too dark and tears made everything hazy,but he will always recognise his mama and this is not her ‘It’s da’ he thought, already dreading the punishment that will come
Severus couldn't help flinching away when he touched him, he really tried being good but everything hurts and he is scared ,he don't want more pain he just wants his mama “S–Sorry I-I tri… tried n-not make n-n-noies I swear …I will be q-q-quite… p-please Da am sor–sorry p-please..”
He felt the words getting stuck in his throat like they always do around his da. he should apologies more I am sorry please don't hurt me but he can't ,nothing is coming out no matter how much more he wants to say anything other than the pathetic sounds he is making like the useless disgusting freak his da say he is and will only make him more angry .why can't I do anything right ,why can't I just be good he just wants everything to stop hurting to-to…to breath.
He can't breath
That's it he is dying… he is going to die here without going to Hogwarts or brewing potions and learning magic he will die here alon-
Call up your men, dilly, dilly,
set them to work
Some to the plough, dilly, dilly,
some to the fork,
Some to make hay, dilly, dilly,
some to cut corn,
While you and I, dilly, dilly,
keep ourselves warm.
Lavender's green, dilly, dilly,
Lavender's blue,
with the melody air finally entered his lungs more easily and the room stopped feeling like it would fall on him. but that's not his mama voice and definitely not da,he hated this song,does it mean it is a magical song then?, lowering his arm to see the man carefully and then proceeds to ignore all his trepidation for a stranger being so close to him because this man is a wizard!
If you love me, dilly, dilly,
I will love you
Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly,
And the lambs play
(We shall be safe, dilly, dilly,)
(out of harm's way)
Severus continued the song like he always does with his mama , it helped calm him and take away the last remnants of his panic.
Also what if the wizard didn't know Severus is a wizard too and was testing him ,he has to prove himself!
I love to dance, dilly, dilly,
(I love to sing)
When I am queen, dilly, dilly,
(When you are queen, dilly, dilly,)
You'll be my king.
(I’ll be your king.)
Who told me so, dilly, dilly,
(Who told you so)
I told me so , dilly, dilly,
I told me so
“Are you a wizard too?”
the maybe wizard opened his eye suddenly ,for a second they looked amber and shone in the darkness of the room but then he blinked and the amber was gone replaced by hazel brown looking at him with so much kindness followed by a gentle smile that made Severus all warm from the inside ,when was the last time someone smiled like that at seeing him?
“well it appears to be or how would you explain this ?”he said pointing at the floating! Tray in the middle of the room “Wicked” Severus didn't even register the word escaping his mouth too in awe of the magic that this wizard is doing like mama used to do when they were alone at home, remembering his mother he quickly straightened up and extended his hand like she taught him.
“my name is Severus Snape I am five and a wizar-!” wincing by the end as his voice cracked and couldn't stiffle the coughing fit that followed ,he accepted the water the man handed to him and gulped it all up “thank you sir“
“Here drink this tea your throat will feel better “ Severus eyed the cup but did not dare take it, now that he is more awake he can feel the warm and soft blanket covering him and he don't know how long he slept here while this kind wizard took care of him he can’t take more he took too much already.
his body hurts too much to work to pay back for taking care of him he can't add tea and food on top of it too! .if his parents came to pick him up later and find out how much they have to pay they might leave him for good and-and-
“What's up buddy hey -hey why are you crying does your throat hurt that much? Please drink this cup it's warm and sweet and for free -” Remus applauds himself for how calm his voice came out cause he is feeling anything but at this moment ,cub upset! Fix it! I'm trying Moony but you are certainly not helping!!
“F-free? you promise?”
he is thankful Severus cut off his rambling even though he can feel the pool of dread forming in his stomach at his words “of course why wouldn't it be?” Did the cub expects he needs to pay for everything he is offered?
Severus shrugged before thankfully taking the cup “thank you sir”
“Please no need to call me sir you can call me by my name “what answered him was an eyebrow lift and a deadpan look perfectly reminiscing to the look he saw the Slytherin give to anyone questioning him in potions class or asked what he deems dumb question, it may have looked intimidating and make you feel like the dirt under his feet had more brain than you ,but that was then while now at this moment it's just borderline amusing and dare he say even adorable on the face of 5 years old Severus Snape
“Forgive me where are my manners , I’m Remus Lupin , turned 21 this year and I happen to be a wizard too! pleasure making you acquaintance” he says with all seriousness he can muster while extending his hand for a handshake doing his best to stifle the laughter on the serious way Severus shook his hand with approving gaze and he almost lost that battle on the “likewise“he got in response.
Remembering the matter at hand he puts his other hand on Severus's and looking into those brilliant dark eyes staring back at him, hesitant yet with so much wonder it filled Remus with protective urge to guard this spark of childish innocence that wasn't completely snuffed yet by the cruelty of their world
“Severus ,I promise everything I give you and do for you it's for free because that's how they should be.for you are a child and should not be expected to pay for your most basic needs that's on the adult which in this case it’s me ,because I care for you.seeing you healthy ,warm and happy is the all payment I need ,Do you understand?”Remus said firmly but not unkindly ,Severus nodded and drank the tea silently and since the cub didn't comment on his teary eyes he gave him the same curtsy and just took the empty tea cup and tucked him in , Severus slept while still holding Remus's hand.
Remus needed him to hear this from him, because even if this might be temporary,even if in few hours whatever happened to Severus is reversed and he is back to his usual self adorned with sharp edges and all with no memory of what happened,he needed to say it anyway for Remus Lupin is still a selfish being even in his seek for forgiveness.
Selfish because he is certain no one else said it before.he knows no one passed the memo to Severus that says you are a human being too for goodness sake!,so he will take this chance given to him to give what others kept away even though the same memo fell into his hand and chose to ignore it too so he is not innocent of that sin himself.but now he will hold into this message with his claws and be the first messenger to deliver pretending he wasn’t part of the mud that kept it away to begin with all those years ago.
So from now on he will give all the kindness he locked away from the Slytherin , even though he knows it won't undo the damage he has already inflicted. but if it gives even a moment of comfort to this battered child in front of him even though he knows he has no right to begin with for he is one of the perpetrators to the pain that fell on his older counterpart ,so yes he will selfishly take this chance of atonement for it would elevate a little of the burden on Remus's heart that made itself known tonight ignoring any part saying he has no right for this . what can he say somethings never change.
once a hungry selfish beast ,will always be a hungry selfish beast