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Hannah's hands shook around the letter. She plummeted down on the bed behind her, so as not to pass out and adjusted her glasses to reread it properly, placing the envelope on the bedside table beside her.
It was a letter from none other than Kathy Ferdinand, inviting her to a collaboration interview. It was about the last foxes vs ravens match, interviewing some of the involved people from Edgar Allen University.
Kathy was everything. Every interview she'd conducted, every camera she smiled for, all that she did was guided by Kathy's light. She was a saint to Hannah. Reading the three "x" kisses at the bottom of the letter, Hannah could only squeal to herself and smile.
She took a few breaths, folding the letter up in quarters and trying really hard not to look at it again. She needed to prepare herself, her demeanour, her questions and just about everything. . Kathy's show filmed in Raleigh, North Carolina, and the interview was in two days, so she had time to get ready the next morning.
She went to her desk and nearly ripped the computer open. The nearest airport had a flight the next afternoon from Los Angeles to Richmond. She could drive to Raleigh from there easily enough, so she tapped away at the keyboard and organised the flight. She paused for a moment as her purchased ticket loaded, before leaping into her bed.
Even as she got under the covers she could hardly stay still. It took every fiber of her dignity to stop herself giggling into the pillow like a schoolgirl. The idea that her idol wanted to see her, the idea of Kathy face to face with her made her heart leap out of her chest. Eventually her eyes shut, but with how she woke up the next morning it was clear she got 5 hours at most.
She lifted herself up out of bed, put her glasses on and read the letter again to motivate herself. She ran into her walk-in closet and stopped to pick her clothing, both for the day ahead and for the interview. On one hand, she was only a reporter and so nothing too fancy was necessary. On the other hand, Kathy Ferdinand would be there.
She decided to put on a black dress with a silver bolero jacket, checking herself in the mirror as she zipped up the back. She yanked the rest of her chosen clothes out of the closet and folded them into a bag. It took another forty-five minutes to arrange her brown hair into her usual ponytail and put her makeup on, but she had to look her best.
Giving her glasses a quick wipe, she turned her attention to packing. The interview would be one day only, but her stay in North Carolina would be three days long. She rushed to get her toiletries bag, shoving it in her suitcase next to folded clothes and her interview notes.
She wheeled the suitcase out of her apartment door and into the elevator. There would be time to eat when she was waiting at the airport, but right now she had to get there. Pushing through the revolving doors, she pulled out her phone and quickly tapped in the numbers to the nearest cab company. Minutes after her call, the yellow taxi rolled into the parking space out front. She flung the suitcase in the seats beside her, fastening her seatbelt.
"One way ticket to Long Beach Airport, thank you," she requested.
It took an hour to get to the airport, and another hour and a half of waiting after customs. Her hour was spent eating and writing interview questions, cappuccino in one hand and pen in the other. She'd finished off her meal when the speaker came on. She took the suitcase handle, made her way to gate 12 and flipped open her passport and the ticket she'd received.
For the entirety of the flight, Hannah was mentally reciting her questions and greetings for Kathy. She could almost imagine Kathy hugging her at the door: acrylics smoothing out her hair, her smile at Hannah's eyeline. The plane suddenly jolted forward, knocking Hannah forward and out of her fantasy world. She fastened her seatbelt, and prepared to land.
Raleigh was colder than LA, and much less busy. The roads away from the airport were clear, and it was easy to get a hotel room. It was small but luxurious, containing a double bed, a bathroom, a sitting area and a mini fridge.
Both before dinner and after dinner, her daydreams about the next morning became uncontrollable. She was hardly present in the hotel at all, tired and longing for the next day.
She slept well, but she still woke up with a start to the alarm clock at her side. Her fist landed on it with a mighty slam as she pulled out of bed, before jolting up and remembering who she was meeting. She had run two feet out of bed before she noticed the small heap of letters through her room door. She let out an exasperated sigh as she approached the pile. “Fanmail,” she thought, “even in another state. Typical.”
But, as she sifted through her letters, her eyes widened. In her hands lay an envelope with a lipstick mark on the front, Kathy's name written on the back. Hannah traced under the opening with her nail as gently as possible, pulling out the letter.
Dear Hannah, it read, I've written to tell you that our guests this evening are Louis Andritch and Josiah Smalls from Edgar Allen University. I know that you were fond of the Ravens, so I thought you'd be happy to hear! See you there!
Love, Kathy.
Hannah stayed dead still with the letter in her hands. Love, Kathy. It was stupid for her to read into such a simple greeting, but she couldn't help it. She loved Kathy too.
She shook off the lovestruck stupor and folded the letter into her bag, scrambling to put on her glasses. Various items of clothes were pulled out of her suitcase frantically as she tried to get dressed quickly. She pulled up a sheath dress, slipped into her black heels, and put on a pair of jet earrings.
Stretching her arms into her jacket sleeves and picking up her handbag, she rotated the questions and greetings she'd planned in her head. She blotted some foundation on and rolled her mascara one last time, trying to stave off the shakiness in her hands. Fucking up her reputation on Kathy's own show would be a fate worse than death, but she had to stay strong.
Strolling out of her room and downstairs, Hannah switched on her phone to check the time. It was twelve o'clock, so she had plenty of time to walk to the venue of Kathy's daily show. She strolled down the street, noticing nothing and no one. She couldn't afford distractions. She only stopped to buy a coffee once during her journey, and was so jittery already that she wished she didn't bother. She didn't even finish it, throwing the cup into the nearest bin before her nerves could strangle her. Counting her breaths, she turned the corner.
There stood the venue. Two storeys tall, security and ribbons at the front door, glowing yellow light shining through the side door. Hannah crossed the road, semi-entranced by her anticipation. She entered through the side door. The hallway ahead was illuminated and clean.
There she was. Kathy Ferdinand, her silvery blonde hair glimmering like an ocean, her downturned, mint green eyes wide as she noticed Hannah. Her heels tapped and echoed as she paced over to Hannah, smile lines creasing as she started to grin.
Years of seeing Kathy on TV and here she was, at breath's length. Hannah almost fainted.
Kathy grasped her hand, gentle but firm, and shook it. Hannah returned the gesture with barely restrained enthusiasm. Her heart was racing.
"It's so wonderful to see you, Hannah! I wouldn't have wanted anyone else for an interview as big as this, you know." The endearing, comfortably low tone of Kathy's voice did nothing to soothe Hannah's nerves, but she loved hearing it.
"It's beautiful to see you too, Kathy!" Why did she say beautiful? Was she stupid?
Before she could ruminate on her mistakes, Kathy's eyes drifted to the left side of her face. "Don't worry Hannah, there's just a mascara mark on your cheek," she assured, faintly gesturing.
Hannah would have panicked, if she had the time to think at all. Instead, Kathy clasped both hands either side of her face, wiping off the mark with her thumb. The heat rushed to Hannah’s face uncontrollably. She felt like her glasses would melt onto her cheeks by the time Kathy let go.
Kathy was smiling more now. Would she have noticed the sudden warmth?
"I did tell you not to worry, Hannah. We all make mistakes! Now, let's get your security card, and then the show will go on!"
Kathy led the way to the front desk. Hannah subtly cleaned her glasses on her dress, still not quite sure what had happened. While her heart was just about hitting her ribcage, Kathy introduced Hannah to the guards there.
"Gentlemen, this is Hannah Bailey! She is the esteemed reporter working alongside me tonight, but since there's no card for that, I suppose the guest card will do," she mused, giving a light wink back to Hannah. One of the guards handed Kathy the card, which she then handed to Hannah, who was too flustered out of her mind to respond verbally.
Kathy and Hannah made their way through the backstage doors. The upbeat intro music played through the speakers, and all lights bar those focused on the stage, went dim. The audience stopped talking. Hannah had never seen so many people show up in the one day.
Kathy put a hand on her shoulder, briefly frightening her.
"You'll be fine, Hannah. The backstage crew will give you the signal, and you'll walk on." Her firm hand smoothed down to the back of Hannah's ribcage. "I've got your back."
Hannah just tried to remember her composure from her last interview with the former Edgar Allen Cheer captain, now captain of the Belmonte Shells, and her friends. Then again, it’d been easy to talk to her. Charming girl. Strangely tall, but her smile was wonderful. She had conducted good interviews before, a wider audience didn't change that.
Kathy strode on waving after her introduction, much to the audience's wild applause. She was so carefree, so elegant, that Hannah felt dizzy.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Have we got a special show for you tonight, diving into all the recent drama with the start of this year's NCAA exy season. You all know me, I've always been a sucker for my favourite exy teams. But first, I welcome and introduce to you the co-host for the evening, none other than Hannah Bailey!"
The crowds roared as Hannah took her cue to stride forward. She gave the audience a quick wave, before meandering over to Kathy's side. "I must say, it's a real honour to be here tonight, Kathy!"
Kathy spared a soft glance to Hannah, before turning back to the gazing crowd and ramping up their awe. "Now, if you're caught up in the recent world of exy, you'll know that the Edgar Allen Ravens have resurfaced as a team after multiple controversies, including the suicide of their captain Riko Moriyama. May he rest in peace. However, their first match against the foxes this year has proven to be devastating!"
Hannah remembered watching the match herself, almost ripping her hair out when Jasmine Lane was choked. Kathy listed the disastrous events on her fingers for dramatic effect. "There's been suicides, broken bones, disqualifications. Hell, even their coach has stepped down after only one or two months on the job! How will they ever return to their former glory? So tonight we're interviewing two insiders of the Nest. The first being Louis Andritch, president of Edgar Allen University. And as for the second, the Ravens' head nurse for no short of 9 years, Mr Josiah Smalls!"
Two men entered from the wings of the stage. The first one was taller and younger than the second, his hair combed back neatly and his eyes shifting. He gave Kathy and Hannah a poster fake smile as he shook their hands.
"Thank you for inviting me," Andritch casually said to each of them. Hannah silently knew he was only trying to make the university look good after the disastrous match.
The man who walked in behind him was shorter, stouter and wore all black scrubs, as opposed to Andritch's suit. He seemed so preoccupied with waving at the cameras that he almost forgot to greet Kathy and Hannah. Once he remembered, he quickly shook both their hands. "Sorry! My daughters Reign and Janie used to watch your show all the time. Whenever they were off sick from school it'd be the first thing they switched on. I'm waving to the cameras for them." His black eyes held an unfamiliar gleam as he turned and grinned one last time to the camera. He never appeared this alive at the raven matches. Never this happy.
Hannah followed Kathy's lead to the couches behind them, sitting down on the right one. The two men sat on the left couch, Josiah and Kathy at the center. Andritch still kept glancing cautiously to Josiah and his hosts as the applause died down.
"Well, I suppose we should get to the real crux of the interview first," Kathy began, hand brushing against Hannah's own. "We wish our condolences to both of you with the Ravens’ disqualification this year."
Josiah merely nodded in acceptance, head low. The words almost left Andritch's mouth, but he spoke first, raising his head to meet his hosts’ faces. "It's been an ugly few days at Evermore but our Ravens have persevered. They deserve twice the sympathy and condolences I do," he croaked, managing a smile.
Kathy noticed Josiah and straightened her posture. "You can give my best wishes to the team, Josiah. Always was a fan of them and their captain," she smirked. Hannah remembered that interview. She wished she was Riko, getting to kiss her on the cheek and all. Then again, Riko was dead. "What's the full extent of their injuries if you don’t mind telling us?"
The wrinkles under Josiah's eyes contorted as he squinted suspiciously. "I think I do mind , Kathy, privacy concerns and all, but there are the obvious ones seen on the tv. Jasmine was choked, Dawson got into a fight with the foxes captain, our strikers were beaten up, number three and five on the other team had bones broken," he hesitated, "...and Kevin Day was concussed."
Hannah could feel Kathy's hand return to where it brushed before, their pinky fingers interlocking, Kathy's palm over her own. Hannah took it as a cue to ask her question. "And...why do you think the match went so poorly?"
Andritch inched forward in his seat, coming up with an explanation on the spot. "I believe most of the Ravens are still resentful over the result of last year's match, and they're still...reprogramming from the pressure Tetsuji's methods put on them. I hope the new coach can improve their wellbeing after Rossi leaves his position." There was some clapping from the ravens fans in the audience, and he faintly, artificially, smiled.
In trying not to let her gaze linger at Kathy's hand slowly moving over her own, Hannah focused on the interviewees. She noticed Josiah's head pivoting halfway to Andritch when he mentioned the "pressure" on the Ravens. "A new coach?" she exclaimed. "Do you know the identity of this new coach?"
"Yeah Andritch, who is the coach that you didn't tell us about?" Josiah questioned, turning the other half of the way to fully stare at Andritch. Hannah could see Kathy grin out of the corner of her eye.
"His name is Joel Coer!" Andritch announced enthusiastically. "Being a former Ravens player, I'm sure he'll be familiar with how the Ravens used to operate and able to communicate with them."
Hannah vaguely remembered Joel Coer from past Ravens matches. Kathy would have had the years to watch the older matches. She'd know him better. Still, Josiah almost put his head in his hands in exasperation, before bobbing his head back up from his palm and glaring at his accomplice.
Hannah had almost forgotten that Kathy's hand was on top of hers, but that was before Kathy's nails began to tap on her palm. Surely she knew what she was doing? Maybe she's just stimulating her hands, Hannah thought, before realising the other implications of that sentence and stopping herself from thinking about it.
"Also, on the topic of coaches, has there been any sign of Tetsuji back at Evermore? Has he made an appearance yet, or is he still in hiding?" Kathy asked, head tilting.
It was impossible to tell if Josiah's eyes opened wide with terror or with rage. Andritch clasped his hands together, maintaining a calmer disposition than his colleague. "No, not yet. We haven't been able to find him. There's been calls for him to take responsibility for his team, but it would seem he's gone for good."
Josiah smiled in a way that looked less like a smile and more like a grimace of pain. "However, if Tetsuji returns then I will make sure to have a nice conversation with his about his ability to separate the medical team's wages, the budget for supplies such as painkillers and the money he bestowed on himself as payment," he avowed, to Andritch's apparent dismay and stress. Andritch barely had time to turn Josiah's way before he added, "among other things I'd like to discuss with him."
"If it may ask, Josiah," Hannah started, "What was it like working alongside Tetsuji’s coaching?"
The funny dead look in his eyes, the dead look he had during the foxes vs ravens match, made its return. "He was—" he looked to Andritch, his employer, cautiously— "despite being a founder of exy, he was not as suitable a coach as Edgar Allen had hoped for the exy team. He exerted the Ravens too far for professional athletes, let alone college students."
"Don't get me wrong Mr Smalls, there's been ex-Ravens saying worse about Tetsuji's treatment. But I interviewed the former cheer captain of your college, Leah Ainsley, about three or four weeks ago, and she told me she never noticed anything weird."
When Hannah said Leah's name, there was a handful of applause and cheers from the audience. Oddly enough, Josiah became unresponsive, silent, but not as dulled as he seemed earlier. He just shivered, stage lights dancing along the black and silver coils of his hair as the tremors travelled to his head. What's the problem? Hannah wondered. It isn't even that cold!
Andritch raised an eyebrow at Josiah's long silence. He decided to answer for him. "Leah was a wonderful student and cheerleader, undoubtedly, but she wasn't part of the ravens team. She may have missed part of the picture."
Hannah was only half listening. She'd picked up the courage to look at Kathy again, and she thought she'd never be able to look again. Kathy was so much more calm and collected than she was, eyes bright as she leaned in. Her nails filled in the gap between Hannah's index and middle finger, and Hannah's breath hitched in her throat trying to stay calm.
Kathy noticed Hannah's gaze and took her cue to talk. "Of course, Mr Andritch. Follow up if I may, did you ever notice anything happening in Evermore?" She inquired.
Andritch looked briefly nervous as he thought up an answer. "Tetsuji had a very...one man approach to his coaching. The Nest was off limits to me and most of the other staff, probably because he didn't want distractions for the team. So I wasn’t aware of anything." Josiah didn't glance back, but his face held the general expression of someone about to call their colleague a sieve headed moron.
Hannah would know a lot about distractions, what with Kathy seated only an inch away from her. It was a struggle to ignore her presence, even more so her touch. She wondered if Kathy could notice the warm flushes and shudders when her fingers traveled across Hannah's palm. What would she think of this other, amateur reporter being head over heels for her? Would she be appalled? Would she find it funny? Would she even find it endearing?
"What about when Jean was...removed from the Nest from injuries, Andritch?" Josiah asked. "Were you not there?"
Andritch appeared semi-offended, but agonisingly kept smiling. "I only went down for one day. I'd understand as much as you do about your workplace, Josiah."
Josiah shut up, a deep undercurrent of fear in his eyes. Hannah was intrigued. It was almost like her interview with Jean. What was the matter? What had really happened before that year's finals?
Kathy tapping against her knuckles snapped her back to reality. "It could indeed have just been his way of coaching," she said nervously. "Still, there's been concerns surrounding the Ravens’ wellbeing. On a more somber note...what will you and the college do about the recent suicides?"
Josiah's eyes shone again, only this time it was most likely tears. Hannah could only just about notice him mouthing something behind his clasped hands. She was capable of reading lips. Like Janie, he murmured. Like Janie.
Andritch paused. "We're going to extend their therapy sessions and extend their treatment, as well as sending the remaining players back to their families. Edgar Allan formally apologises for the damage done to the families of those affected."
"They deserved better than what we gave them, Jasmine, Braydon, Cameron and my fellow nurse Hamrickson." Josiah interrupted, staring for a thousand miles or more. "We can only prevent worse. I will do all within my power to heal them."
"I'm sure the Ravens are happy to have you helping them," Hannah thanked, not specifying who but looking to Josiah.
Andritch still spoke. "We at Edgar Allen University will be redeveloping the Ravens majorly, as well as finding new members for our cheer team. All members quit around the new year, oddly enough, but our sports department will continue thriving.
Hannah decided to end the interview by shaking each of their hands, Josiah’s first and Andritch’s second. Kathy followed her lead. "It was wonderful interviewing both of you—" she surveyed the audience— "especially now, at the end of such an era in exy. Maybe one day the Ravens team will return as great and bold as they were before. The fans believe in you, after all!"
The audience cheered, loud and appreciative. Kathy's eyes fell on Hannah. You did wonderful, she mouthed. Hannah felt dizzy. In a good way, but she still felt dizzy.
Andritch smiled, getting up to leave and waving to the audience. Josiah glanced at the cameras at the back of the room, before heading off stage behind him.
The audience began to leave, chattering amongst themselves. Soon enough, the room was empty. There was only Kathy and Hannah on the couch. Together.
Kathy's familiar grin crept along her face and her head tilted in Hannah's direction. Hannah felt Kathy's hand lift from her own and immediately missed its warmth when she peered down.
"Hannah," Kathy beamed, "now I have a question for you."
Hannah tried as hard as she could to be still, but her heart was thumping against her ribcage. "What is it, Kathy?"
"You seemed nervous at certain times during this episode. Quiet. Tell me, was it stage fright, Hannah? I haven't someone as bold as you to get stage fright."
She leaned in. She'd caught her. Hannah thought about her possible answers. Kathy was older, more famous, beautiful and charming. Hannah was just some fool in comparison to her. She was her fool, though.
She gave in. "I've...been a huge, huge fan of yours for a while, Kathy. It's hard not to be one when you work in the same field and are this successful and experienced and...smart."
Hannah hesitantly backed away a little, sweating like a waterfall. Kathy paused, her pale face turning gradually and noticeably red at the compliments. Then, she grinned again, this time more smug. "A fan? Are you sure you're only a fan, Hannah?"
Hannah couldn't bear to look at her eyes, too flustered to focus on anything. Kathy picked up on her shyness and advanced forward. "Do you want to know something, Hannah?" She teased.
Hannah mustered the courage to glance back at her. Kathy gripped her face in both hands again. Just like before the show began. Just like in Hannah's best dreams.
"There was no mascara mark earlier."
Hannah, astounded, didn't blink once. "What?! What do you mean there was no mascara mark?" She yelped.
Kathy's soft fingertips traced behind her jawbone. "You look funny when you shout. Come on, why do you think I'd invite you on the show if I didn't admire your interviews? If I didn't admire you? I've never invited another person to co-interview my show in all twenty five years I've been on television."
Hannah tried to speak, but she was at a loss for words. Kathy knew what she was doing, and yet she persevered. "Those twenty five years are still equal, I'd say bested, even, by your seven. Not to forget the letter I sent you. How could I not love you?" She inquired, fingers reaching into Hannah’s hair. The gentleness of her touch made Hannah shiver, but she drifted further into her hands.
She timidly raised her own hand to Kathy's cheek, her more oblong, slender face fitting perfectly against Hannah’s grasp. The smile wrinkles under her palm didn't matter, the age gap and fame gap didn't matter, nothing mattered to Hannah. She was as good as Kathy's now. Kathy leaned into her hand, and kissed the palm.
Kathy kissed her. Was she dreaming? Was this a dream? Hannah batted her eyelids in astonishment while Kathy's hands traveled behind her neck.
"I can do a better take than that, Hannah, if you let me. If you want to," she suggested, eyes lighting up with glee.
Hannah took a moment to clean the steam from her glasses. She nodded, letting Kathy pull her forward.
Kathy kissed her directly on the lips, long and soft and warm. Her nimble hands held her close, one behind her neck and one Hannah felt reach up to smooth out her hair. Her heart almost stopped. Her eyelids fluttered, unable to shut. This was all she'd ever wished for coming true. To fall into Kathy's arms. For Kathy to catch her.
She was quiet for a moment when Kathy's lips left hers. It was barely real. Kathy's thumb traced her face again. "My lipstick got on you," she explained, holding up her salmon stained thumb. "I mean it really this time, obviously!"
Hannah smirked as Kathy got up from the sofa. "So...what are you planning? For us, I mean. Now that we're...in a relationship and whatnot."
"And whatnot," Kathy imitated jokingly. She took Hannah's hand as she stood up, holding it tight to her blazer pocket. "We'll stay in contact, of course. And, if you don’t mind, I would like to return with you to your hotel room for the night. Will you let me?"
Hannah was lost for words. "Well....I don’t...know..." she murmured.
Kathy's smile softened. "If the answer's no, that's fine, but I do want an answer."
"But how will we get there without people seeing?"
"We won't, but I can tell anyone who asks that we're meeting up for a simple chat and a review of this episode of my talk show. The press won't defy us. We are the press," she said smugly, a slight sinisterness to it. That was their job after all; to put on a performance of the world around them.
Hannah trusted her. She followed Kathy's out to the foyer, entranced by the previous events. It had all gone by so quick. Getting the invite, the interview, Kathy's lips warm against her own in the dim spotlight. They stopped to sign autographs from people in the hall occasionally, waving back at their adoring viewers. As they left the building, Kathy led her to her own jet black car and opened the door.
"Just a simple gift from Edgar Allen," she jested, "back from my last interview with—"
"With Riko Moriyama, Kevin Day and Neil Josten? Last year?"
Kathy's eyes lit up. "Yes...it was! You really watched all of them, didn't you?"
Hannah simply nodded, getting into the back of the car while still facing a lovestruck Kathy. A driver sat in the front, and Kathy slid herself along next to Hannah. "So, where is your hotel Hannah?"
Hannah grinned, an imitation of her beloved. "The Rosso hotel is just out of here, straight ahead and then two blocks right. We'll be there soon," she reassured, hand brushing against Kathy's side in a newfound confidence. She was in the spotlight, on top of the world as long as she stayed beside Kathy.
The car set off from the front doors of the studio immediately. As the cars roared outside the blacked out windows, Hannah felt something heavy.
Kathy was lying down sideways, head resting on her lap. Her silky soft hair ran against Hannah’s legs, speckled silver and gold in the light, and her cheekbones pressed into her skin. Hannah shivered when she saw Kathy's eyes meet hers, a good sort of shiver.
"Hannah," she admitted, "I love you. I really do. Multitudes of fans, millions of viewing figures, and nothing has ever made me feel like you do." She seemed amazed by what she was saying.
"I love you too, Kathy," Hannah said, voice shaking. Kathy reached up, arms around Hannah, and kissed her forehead. She repeatedly and mercilessly pecked at the rest of her face, moving onto her cheeks, her nose, and lastly two final kisses on her eyelids. Hannah giggled from the sensation, melting in Kathy's clutches.
The reality was finally setting in for Hannah. Her and Kathy were together now, now and forever in a heart shaped spotlight.