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“Yvonne… I went to Adam for therapy and he told me something very important that we have to do if we want to still be friends.” Joshua looked at his best friend, a look of dead seriousness on his absolutely chiseled face
Yvonnes blood ran cold. What could Adam, a literal demon want from two epic sigma besties with a normal, balanced dietary intake like them?
"Uhh what's that?” she said.
"Have you heard of the carnivore diet? We have to go on it.” Joshua said and grabbed her shoulders.
“what the hell do you mean dude?!" Yvonne pushed his hands off their shoulders.
“what I mean is, eat this butter stick or else we're gonna go to separate parts of Italian hell (where Adam is from)!!! FOREVER DUDE!!" Joshua was basically on the verge of tears as he waved a whole stick of butter at her.
“JOSHUA WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WE AREN'T GOING TO HELL JUST BECAUSE WE AREN'T EATING SOME FUCKIN BUTTER WRAPPED IN ELEPHANT TESTICLE! GET A GRIP AND GO EAT SOME LETTUCE BRO!" Yvonne slapped the butter out of Joshua’s hands.
“y'know, maybe you're right. let's go eat some spinach or something bro…”
the two friends then joined hands and started skipping alpha-ly down to the mess hall to enjoy a crisp leaf vegetable or two.
BUT WHATS THIS? A PORTAL TO ITALIAN HELL (WHERE ADAM IS FROM) OPENED IN THE GROUND AND THEY WERE BOTH SENT TO HELL FOREVER, FORCED TO EAT STICKS OF RAW BUTTER FOREVER!!!!! 🙁💔‼️