Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Momentarily frozen in panic, I looked back at the four contenders eyeing me with curiosity and suspicion. 

“Okay, but seriously. Why are you here?” asked Leetah. 

“Oh! I-I'm just a groupie. Just a nobody hanging out with a bunch of somebodys, that's all,” I replied, visibly sweating. 

Leetah let out a deep sigh of disappointment. “Aw, come on! I was hoping you were some kind of spy or something. What a letdown!” 

“I totally still could be, for all you know,” I added helpfully. “I'm not… but I could be.”

“Close enough! Headcanon accepted,” said Leetah. She pointed at her eyes, then at me. “I'm watching you, Rupert! If that's even your real name.”

“That was definitely my assumption,” said Kinni. “I mean, the groupie thing, not the spy thing. But that would be pretty kick-ass!”

“What is a… groupie?” asked V1KTU$.

Leetah cackled. “A groupie is someone who hangs out around famous people and hopes they'll get to fuck them. Mission accomplished, I guess! Interesting choice, though. If I were you, I probably would have gone with Kinni. Much easier. Getting in bed with Kinni is easier than convincing your own hand to get you off.”

“Hey, I resemble that remark!” said Kinni playfully, folding his arms. 

“I actually did start with Kinni,” I clarified. “But when I was, er, physically recovering from that, my attention was drawn elsewhere.”

Everyone turned to look at Kinni. 

“I am so sorry about that, by the way,” said Kinni, wincing. “I feel really bad. I should have been more gentle.”

I waved dismissively. “You already apologized, and you didn't do anything wrong. It was really hot, you did great! My eyes were just bigger than my, uh… Relevant orifice.” 

“Are you okay now? Did you heal up okay?” asked Kinni, nervously tapping his fingers together. 

“Yeah, I recovered without any issues!” I said, nodding. “I just had to use a cream for a few - you know what, I don't really want to have that conversation in front of everyone else. Talk to you later, okay?”

“Got it, got it!” said Kinni, holding up his hands. “Well, I'm glad you're feeling better!” 

Leetah turned to me and put one hand on her hip. “Well. As anticlimactic as this turned out to be, congrats. You two are cute together… and it's outrageously funny seeing V1KTU$ get so obsessed with sex.” 

“I am not obsessed!” objected V1KTU$, shaking a fist. 

“The entirety of your free time lately is spent reading about it or having it,” said Leetah flatly. “What do you call that, if not an obsession?” 

“Tch! Have you not heard of having a hobby?” sneered V1KTU$. 

Leetah gave V1KTU$ a flat look. “My guy. My dude. Buddy. If your hobby was model trains, and you were spending this much time reading about and playing with them, I would also call that an obsession.”

A brief expression of hurt on V1KTU$’s face flickered to a furious glare, and he clenched his fists. “First you guys pick on me for not having sex, but now that I am having sex, it's suddenly too much somehow?! And yet, Kinni gets a pass for his flagrant lechery?! Is there no pleasing you?!” He paused, and his shoulders slumped. “Ugh… Why do I even care what a bunch of organics think of what I do?” He sighed heavily, then stomped off. 

The only sound for a few seconds was V1KTU$’s feet thunking on the floor. 

Leetah lowered her voice. “Yeesh. I was just teasing. Why's he gotta take everything so personally?” 

“I don't think he understands that you're joking,” I murmured. “He probably thinks you actually disapprove, he doesn't understand you're just being playful.”

“Well, that's not what I meant!” huffed Leetah. “I think it's great that he's experimenting. He seems happy! I'm just messing with him, it's fun to see him get flustered, yanno?” 

I shrugged. “He doesn't understand that it's a game you're playing, he just thinks he's being antagonized. If I were you, I'd clarify that with him.”

“Hmph… I suppose,” mumbled Leetah.

“Consider easing up a bit, too. You're playing a little too rough for V1KTU$, and it's just upsetting him,” I added. 

“But I do that to everybody!” objected Leetah. 

Kinni shook his head. “Nah, Leetah. V1KTU$ was right, you're harder on him than you are on me. I will freely admit that I can be downright obnoxious, and you give me plenty of grief, but I can dish it just as well as I can take it. You and me, we're in balance. V1KTU$, though… he's uninterested in picking on you, he's almost entirely defensive. And yet, you keep pushing him. What gives? A game isn't a game anymore when the other person isn't playing.”

“Okay. I wanna say, I have the utmost respect for V1KTU$ as a Contender,” said Leetah. “He's strong, and he has a hell of a lot more stage presence than I gave him credit for at first.” She paused. “I guess what I'm trying to say is he's stiff competition, and I feel like going too easy on him would seem not only like I'm soft, but also like I don't take him seriously as an opponent. Okay, I'll admit he's also just plain fun to mess with because he gets so worked up about small stuff… But beyond that, I'm just trying to treat him like one of us, yanno?” 

“That's thoughtful and all, but the guy is a heavily sheltered synthetic, fresh out of Tekina,” said Kinni. “We're all from different planets, of course, but that's some serious culture shock. Being a potential heir to the Silicon Throne, especially, I suspect he is accustomed to competition being exclusively unfriendly, and hostility could be taken at face value. It stands to reason that he would assume that the same applies to you picking on him.” He turned to me briefly. “Rupert, go comfort your boyfriend. I have more to discuss with Leetah.” 

I nodded. “Okay. On it!” 

–

I knocked on V1KTU$’s door. 

V1KTU$ opened it, looking haggard. “Hello. I am… happy to see you. Come in.” 

“Thank you,” I said, entering the room and shutting the door behind me. 

V1KTU$ staggered over to the bed, sat down on it, and put his face in his hands. “I feel… foolish. How was I supposed to know what the correct amount of interest in sex is? I feel like a fool for even attempting it, only to be ridiculed just as much as I was for disinterest.”

“Well, I have good news and bad news,” I said, shrugging. 

“What's the good news?” asked V1KTU$. 

“The good news is there isn't really an acceptable or unacceptable amount of interest in sex, so you're best off just doing whatever you're comfortable with,” I said. 

“Really? Then why do people act like there is?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

I sighed. “That's the bad news. The trick to not getting picked on for stuff like that is to already be someone who can get away with whatever eccentricity you have going on.”

“That… neither makes sense nor sounds like something readily within my control,” murmured V1KTU$. 

“Yeah, that's why it's bad news,” I said sympathetically. “Kinni can get away with being a slut because that's kinda his whole deal, and he owns it.” 

V1KTU$ rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “And how do I cultivate such an image? I mean, not specifically like Kinni, but how do I become acceptable by definition?” 

I chuckled. “The best I've come up with is to surround myself with people who think I'm acceptable as I am. But you're not really far off from that, despite how it seems. Kinni and Leetah are both happy for you for exploring your sexuality, they just express affection by teasing.”

V1KTU$’s brow furrowed. “They are? I suppose Kinni has been openly supportive of my efforts, but Leetah? It's all criticism and harassment.” 

“She thinks she's just being playful,” I said, shrugging. “I think she's playing too rough, and barking up the wrong tree if she thinks you'll respond positively to being picked on.” 

“Playful? How is being mean playful?” asked V1KTU$ incredulously. 

I shrugged again. “I don't understand it either, but some people are like that.” Pausing briefly, I scratched my head. “Well… I suppose it's probably a lot like play fighting, which is common in social species, both sapient and non-sapient.” 

“How is fighting a type of play?” asked V1KTU$. 

“It's physically and mentally engaging, and a necessary feature of play fighting is a lack of intent to harm. But any animal can cause harm while play fighting by getting too rough for their ‘opponent’, which is especially common in interspecies play, where there is inherently a difference in how sturdy each participant is and how rough they are inclined to play. The rougher participant has an obligation to modify how they play to avoid harming the other,” I explained. 

V1KTU$ thought for a moment. “So, what you're saying is… Leetah is not fulfilling that obligation? I suppose I could tolerate some light play fighting, so to speak, given that I understand it's all in good fun. But as things stand, as far as I'm concerned, she's just being cruel. Playing too rough, as you put it.”

I nodded. “That's exactly what I'm saying.” 

“Well, tell her to stop,” grumbled V1KTU$. “It's not play for me.”

“I did, and right now, Kinni is talking to her about it,” I said firmly. “With any luck, you'll get an apology and an explanation in the near future.” 

“An apology from Leetah? I'll believe that when I see it,” scoffed V1KTU$. 

I chuckled. “Yeah, I am not making any promises on Leetah's behalf. But still.” I paused. “If it makes you feel any better, she and Kinni rag on each other all the time, but they're still friends.” 

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? I thought they hated each other's guts. They are really mean to each other.” 

“Nah, they're just playing rough,” I said, smirking. 

“What about Pepperishi?” asked V1KTU$. 

“What about him?” I asked. “I haven't seen enough dialogue from him to make any call on that.”

“Err, what?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged. “That was a joke. I don't talk to him much, he kinda rubs me the wrong way. Like, as a concept. Not his fault, I just… yeah.”

“I'm… not sure what that means, but I think I get the gist,” said V1KTU$. 

–

“So, you… healed up okay?” asked Kinni. “I was really worried. Yanno, with the blood and everything.”

I nodded. “It was just a little tear. Didn't even need a doctor's appointment to deal with it, and I'm fine now.” 

“Well, I'm glad to hear that!” said Kinni, folding his arms. “I'm sorry. I really shoulda been more gentle.” 

“You were very gentle, which is why it was only a small tear,” I said. “Not any worse than what I've gotten from a toy when I didn't use enough lube.”

“I probably shouldn't have gone any further when you were having trouble with just my fingers,” murmured Kinni. 

I raised an eyebrow. “You asked if you should stop. I insisted on continuing. It's not your fault that I overestimated what I could handle.”

“Maybe, but I…” Kinni trailed off, then shook his head. “Nah, I'm just gonna say it. If it wasn't my fault, why did you avoid me after? I-I tried to check in with you the next day, but you… I couldn't find you.”

“I just flat out didn't show up for a few days,” I said, scratching my head awkwardly. “I was sore… and embarrassed. I was really ashamed of making a fool of myself.”

Kinni shook his head. “You didn't make a fool of yourself! I know perfectly well what I'm packing, and you're not the first to struggle with it. The sex was still good… I mean, at least for me. Was it good for you?”

“It was spectacular, up until the injury,” I assured him. “And your aftercare was top notch. I don't at all regret having sex with you, I was just embarrassed about having gotten injured during it. And about crying after, too.”

“There's no shame in crying!” said Kinni. “You were in pain. Give yourself a little slack, okay?” 

There was a brief silence. 

Kinni lowered his voice. “Yanno… we could have had this conversation a long time ago. I don't bite! Er, not without consent, anyway.”

“I barely knew you at the time,” I said, shrugging awkwardly. “I didn't know what to say. I did intend to give it another shot, but I just… never got around to that.” 

“Despite the whole groupie thing, I hope you know you're welcome here even if you're not fucking anybody,” said Kinni gently. 

“Well, I know that now,” I said, shrugging again. “And I appreciate it. I really enjoy just hanging out with you guys. Honestly, I was surprised to find myself falling for V1KTU$, but in retrospect he is my type… and I do have a thing for robots.” 

Kinni chuckled. “Can't blame ya there! The prickly ones are satisfying to get through to, and robots are hot.” 

“I wasn't at all sure he would even be interested,” I said. “I've had enough unrequited crushes and misunderstood signals to doubt anything short of blatant and explicit interest.”

“Oh yeah, I've been there,” said Kinni knowingly. 

“As far as I could tell, he went from tolerating my presence to asking for public sex in a matter of seconds,” I said sheepishly. 

“Heh… Well, I can't speak for whatever conversation happened between you two in private, but from the outside it was pretty amusing to watch things progress,” said Kinni. 

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? How so?” 

Kinni rubbed his chin. “Well, the first thing was he started hanging out in the common areas more. Just by himself, working on stuff. I didn't think anything of it at first, beyond that he was getting more comfortable being around everyone else. But after a little while of that going on, I noticed him looking around from time to time, like he was waiting for someone to arrive. And then you'd show up and sit next to him, and he'd fully settle down to his task. Over time, you sat closer and closer to him, and he let you… and trust me, if he didn't want you near him, he would be very clear about that.”

“That's… actually kinda adorable,” I mused. “Ugh, he's so cute.”

“I know, right? Everything was confirmed when I caught him researching sex. I knew exactly who he was planning on fucking,” said Kinni. “I'm glad it's you. I know you're nice, and it seems like you're being patient with him.” 

“That means a lot, thank you,” I said, smiling. 

Kinni nodded. “Sure thing! Yanno, when he was doing research after the first time you guys fucked, he admitted that he wasn't really expecting to enjoy sex. He thought you might like it, and identified an opportunity to prove himself to us in the process, and he went for it.” He paused. “Orientation is a little… fiddly? In synthetics, especially when they haven't yet been, uh, broken in, so to speak. No frame of reference to contextualize their feelings. Even then, many of them… hm. It's honestly hard for me to understand, being omnisexual. But I've run into synthetics who enjoy sex, but don't experience sexual attraction. They select sexual partners based on a calculated assessment of whether they expect the person to be capable of pleasing them, rather than more explicitly subjective stuff like physical appearance.”

“I mean, a lot of organics are like that, too,” I said, shrugging. “Personally, I'm gray ace, and I've had and enjoyed sex with people I wasn't sexually attracted to because I thought it would be fun, or because I was emotionally close with them.”

“You're asexual? I wouldn't have guessed,” said Kinni incredulously. 

“Gray asexual,” I corrected. “Most of the time, I'm not particularly interested in anyone. But when I am really solidly sexually attracted to someone, I'm absolutely feral about it. Losing my mind, can't think about anything else. I'm grateful it's only an occasional thing, it would be exhausting to feel like that with more people.” 

Kinni scratched his head. “Huh. If you don't mind me asking…”

“Oh, I'm all about giant blue men who can pick me up with one hand but are also really sweet,” I said, grinning. “You're definitely my type. I still think you're hot, but I'm not pursuing you or wearing myself out over it.” 

“Does that mean we could hook up again some time?” asked Kinni hopefully. 

I chuckled. “Probably not. V1KTU$ and I haven't discussed exclusivity, but from a practical perspective, he's a handful. I wouldn't have it any other way, but that also means I don't have the energy for both of you, even as an occasional thing.” 

Kinni sighed. “That's fair! Just thought I'd ask.” 

“Doesn't hurt to ask!” I said. 

“Hey, Rupert!” said Leetah, walking over. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course!” I said. 

Leetah led me to the other side of the room, then turned to face me, her expression one of mild annoyance. “All right… I apologized to V1KTU$. Happy?”

“Yes! Yes, I am,” I replied. 

“Good,” said Leetah flatly. “You must've given him some sort of weird primer beforehand. Said something about play fighting, and said they don't do that on his planet. I told him he's not on his planet anymore.” She paused. “He took that better than I thought he would. We kinda went from there. I think it went well!” 

“That's great! Thank you,” I said, nodding knowingly. 

“I'm still gonna pick on him, of course,” said Leetah, grinning deviously. “But… I'm gonna tone it down a notch, and I think now he groks that it's just for funsies, and I'm not actually trying to hurt him.” 

V1KTU$ ran over and raised a finger. 

“Lemme guess,” said Leetah, grinning. “You're here to collect your boyfriend for another romp in the sack?”

“I am taking mock offense to your humorous jab at my sexual behavior!” shouted V1KTU$, scowling. 

Leetah sighed deeply. “No, no! It's not funny if you explain it!” 

“Oh, right!” said V1KTU$ quietly. He pointed angrily at Leetah. “H-hey! That is none of your business, you prying flesh bag!” 

“Ooh, flesh bag? That's a good one,” said Leetah, grinning. 

V1KTU$ perked up, then turned to me. “See you in five minutes,” he said flatly, then ran off. 

“See? All better,” said Leetah. 

“Huh! Sure seems like it,” I said, folding my arms. 

“Needy little shit, isn't he,” muttered Leetah. “If someone regularly interrupted my conversations to demand sex, I'd be pissed.”

I shrugged. “I dunno, I think it's hot.”

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Is it hot?... Or are you just desperate to be wanted?” 

“Uhhh,” I stammered, looking at Leetah wide-eyed. I looked away. 

Leetah let out a cackle. “Yeah, Kinni doesn't like that question either.” She paused. “Eh, I'm just fucking with you. I know you don't become a groupie by having high self-esteem or a normal, healthy relationship with attention.”

“Yanno, you're kinda mean,” I observed, feigning surprise. 

“Goodness me! I've been caught. What clued you in?” asked Leetah sarcastically. 

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway… both. It's both. It's hot, and I like being wanted,” I admitted. “I… have my issues, of course. But, how eager he is… it's really hot. If barging in and asking for sex gets old before he calms down enough to be more, uh, appropriate about it, we'll talk it over.” 

“See, that sort of nonsense is why I don't fuck virgins,” said Leetah, rolling her eyes. “You give ’em a little sip, and suddenly they're thirsty all the time. No, thanks. I'm a busy woman, I have neither the time nor the patience for that kind of bullshit.” 

“Yeah, that's reasonable,” I said, shrugging. 

Leetah chuckled. “Well, don't let me hold you up any longer. Go fuck your horny robot boyfriend before he spontaneously combusts from sexual frustration.” 

Chapter Text

As I approached V1KTU$’s room, he opened the door and motioned eagerly for me to enter. 

I obliged, closing the door behind me. 

“So, I thought about our discussion the other day about how one becomes inherently acceptable and above mockery,” said V1KTU$. “And, I realized that the obvious solution is already my goal: to win, and rule over all Synthetics. Then, I can do whatever I want, and ridicule will be a thing of the past.”

“Oh! Well, probably. I mean, there are always going to be people who will talk shit about you, but if you're scary enough, they're a lot less likely to do it to your face,” I said. “The best way to handle it is to not give a shit.”

V1KTU$’s eyes widened briefly in surprise, then narrowed to a scowl. “That is… not the response I was looking for. No matter. I suppose I won't care then, anyway. I will have all the power, and nobody will be able to stop me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to be honest with you, or just stroke your ego?” 

“Well, I suppose I was hoping for both,” muttered V1KTU$. 

“I suppose you'll just have to settle for me stroking your body,” I said, grinning. 

V1KTU$ blushed. “Er. That's acceptable.”

“Thought so,” I said flatly. 

V1KTU$ let out a robotic cough. “Ahem. Before we move on to that, I shall update you on the situation with Leetah. She did, in fact, apologize, and clarified her approval of my sexual exploration. As you must have noticed a few minutes ago, we have settled into the play fighting you mentioned. She did say she would continue to tease me for my sexual behavior, which I suppose is tolerable. She said that sex is inherently funny, and nobody that does it is, and I quote: normal about it. I'm… not sure what that means.” 

I thought for a moment. “Hmm. Well, typically sex is governed more by instinct than logic, which is pretty funny in species that typically have more self-control. I'm not entirely sure how that works in synthetics, but it still seems to ring true. You personally have been behaving in a way that is contrary to how you had previously insisted you felt about the subject… which I personally think is really hot, but I could see the humor in it.”

“I can barely think about anything else,” murmured V1KTU$ sheepishly. “I hate to admit this sort of thing, but presently, I… can't really help it.” 

“That's really, really hot,” I said firmly. “You'll get used to it and calm down a bit eventually. But for now… it's hot how badly you want me to fuck you, and how often you want it.” I grinned. “I want it, too… very badly. I'm just a little more used to feeling like that. I don't even have to initiate, you beg for it.” 

V1KTU$ grabbed me by the front of my shirt. “I-if it's so hot, and you want it too, why are your hands not on me right now?!” he cried. 

I caressed the sides of V1KTU$’s head and pulled him in for a kiss. 

“Mmmnh,” moaned V1KTU$, shaking at my touch. 

I pulled away for a bit to remove my shirt and pants. 

V1KTU$ sat on the bed and watched me eagerly. “Is it unusual if it excites me to see you undress? I don't wear clothes myself, of course, but seeing you expose all of that skin you normally keep hidden… there's something arousing about that.”

“Finding it arousing to watch your partner take off their clothes is about as normal as it gets,” I assured V1KTU$. I sat on the bed next to him and pulled him in for another kiss. 

V1KTU$ gently pushed me backwards and got into position on top of me, his knee wedged in my crotch. “Comfortable?” 

“Very,” I purred, dragging my nails down the sides of his head. 

“Nnnngh,” moaned V1KTU$, closing his eyes in ecstasy. He began to drag his leg back and forth against my crotch, the joints sliding across my cock exquisitely. 

“Mmmnf… You look so good on top of me, leaning into my touch, like it's where you belong,” I murmured.

“O-oh! Aaanh… Is that th-the, uh, nnnf… dirty talk I've read about?” asked V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “It is.”

“Ah! Hmm,” said V1KTU$. “Y-you're… nnnnf… very… naughty? For doing sex with me? Aaah… such misbehavior.”

I cackled. 

“A-am I doing it wrong?” asked V1KTU$, gripping the sheets anxiously. 

“You're doing just fine,” I assured him. I slipped my fingers into his plume and wiggled them.

“Aaaaahn,” moaned V1KTU$, pixelated tears appearing in the corners of his eyes.

I pushed my fingers deeper into his plume. His fans kicked up, and his body tensed. I withdrew my fingers a bit and slowed my movements until his body relaxed a bit, then pushed them in again, tugging very lightly at the bristles. 

“Nngh… W-what are you doing?” moaned V1KTU$. 

“It's called edging,” I explained. “Getting you close to orgasm, then backing off until you calm down a little and then doing it again… and again.”

“Aaah… It feels incredible, but I'm going to overheat before I reach sensory overload if you keep it up,” gasped V1KTU$. 

“Oh, sorry about that! Don't want that to happen,” I said.

V1KTU$ chuckled weakly. “It's all right! Now, p-please… h-help me finish… Nnnngh…”

“Gladly,” I whispered, scratching the side of his head hard, and giving a light tug on his plume. 

V1KTU$ gasped, and his body emitted a light ‘click.’ His screen went dark, his fans fell silent, and his body fell limp on top of me. 

I struggled a bit under the weight of V1KTU$’s head, waiting for him to turn back on. 

After a minute or so, his fans sprung back to life, and his screen flickered on. He pushed himself up woozily. 

“Felt good?” I asked, grinning. 

“Yyyeah,” gasped V1KTU$. He climbed off me and held his head in his hands. “Also, painful. But worth it! I need a little break to cool down before I resume pleasuring you.” 

“Take your time,” I said gently. “Hey, going forward, can we make sure you're not on top of me when you shut off? You're really heavy, and I would like to avoid being injured when you're no longer supporting your own weight.”

V1KTU$’s eyes widened. “Oh! Of course, I don't want to injure you. We can definitely be more careful in that regard.” 

“I appreciate it,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. 

“So, uh… What happened with Kinni?” asked V1KTU$. “I gathered that you were injured during sex with him in the past, but the euphemisms were too heavy for me to fully comprehend.”

“You want to talk about that right now?” I asked incredulously.

“Er, it seemed on topic? I apologize if I have offended,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. 

I shrugged. “Discussing prior sexual or romantic experiences with other people during sex is a bit of a faux pas.”

“Ah! I apologize, I was unaware. Shall we discuss something else?” offered V1KTU$. 

“Yanno what… might as well talk about that,” I said, shrugging again.

“Excellent,” said V1KTU$, sitting up eagerly. 

“Well, the short of it is Kinni is, uhh, generously endowed, and I overestimated my capacity,” I murmured. 

“You are… going to need to describe that more clearly, I'm not sure what that means,” said V1KTU$ awkwardly. 

I sighed, and rubbed the back of my head. “He has a really big penis. We had penis in vagina sex, but I inaccurately assumed I could do so without causing injury to myself. It hurt while we were doing it, but I insisted on continuing. When he, uhh, withdrew his penis from my body, I was bleeding slightly and in pain. I proceeded to have a series of very painful orgasms because I'd already had two, and when I do that I continue to have more of them, as you know. He took very good care of me for the next couple of hours, which I appreciated. But I was embarrassed about what happened, and it required some physical recovery time for my body to heal from it.” 

“Oh. That sounds… very unpleasant,” said V1KTU$. “I am sorry that happened to you. Kinni is such a brute!”

“No, no, he's not like that at all! He did everything he should have, he's a very thoughtful sexual partner,” I clarified. “It was enjoyable until it wasn't. I insisted that he continue, despite the pain. And then I was… ashamed. And sore. I was looking forward to it, but I… I don't know. I blew it.” 

There was a brief silence. 

V1KTU$ cocked his head to the side. “Was I… your second choice?”

“Literally, temporally speaking?” I asked. I paused. “Yeah, technically. I… showed up here for Kinni. I'm not going to pretend that's not what I did. Guilty as charged. I was here for the bulge. And I'm not sure what I thought I'd actually accomplish by doing that, I was just another rando having casual sex with him. It was clear that was all he'd want, but… I don't know. I… I don't know.” 

“Hmm. I suppose you were hanging around him quite a bit when you first appeared, and I more or less ignored you for that reason,” said V1KTU$. “But then, you started interacting with the rest of us more all of a sudden. I presume that was after your… er. Mating?” 

I nodded. “I thought about just not coming back after that, but didn't want to admit that I was giving up. So I kept coming. But then, I properly met you, and I was… intrigued. You dropped your hostility once you seemed to recognize that I wasn't a threat.” 

“Yeah… once I realized you weren't trying to touch me or make fun of me, I was more neutral about your presence,” said V1KTU$. “Heh… The fact that you were willing to listen to me discuss my inventions was a bonus.” 

“I love listening to you talk about your inventions! They're always interesting, and you're so proud, and you get so excited about it,” I said. 

“Good,” said V1KTU$ firmly. “It got… lonely, being the only synthetic. The other organics weren't necessarily always hostile, but they had different priorities, and no interest in what I was doing. Obviously you're also an organic, but you actually wanted to listen to me. And you had interesting things to share, too.”

“I'm glad you feel that way about me,” I said, giving his hand another squeeze. “It didn't take long for me to realize I got along better with you than I do with Kinni. Don't get me wrong, sex is actually one of my special interests, and I enjoy a conversation about the logistics of large anal insertions as much as the next pervert. But it always felt like he had… expectations about me actually participating in those things with him. I don't think he actually meant to be that way, but it always felt vaguely threatening.” 

“Oh yeah, I know what you mean about Kinni,” murmured V1KTU$. “Always feels like he wants something I don't want to give him, even when he's not explicitly saying so.” 

I nodded knowingly. “If you don't mind me asking, what inspired you to make a move on me?” 

“You will laugh if I tell you,” said V1KTU$ flatly. 

I raised an eyebrow. “Would it be the end of the world if I did?” 

“I suppose not,” acknowledged V1KTU$. “Okay. Leetah identified your increased interest in me as being sexual in nature. I was taken aback at her accusation, but the more I thought about it and observed you, the more plausible it seemed. And yet, you still did not actually attempt to mate with me. I had time to consider, and then to research.”

I sighed. “I tried really hard not to make that your problem at all. I hate it when I develop crushes on my friends, and I was under the impression that you were thoroughly uninterested in that kind of thing, especially with an organic. So, I didn't want to say something and ruin the friendship or anything.”

V1KTU$ chuckled. “But you did not make it my problem. You waited, which I am grateful for.” He paused. “I still had… some doubt that you really had that type of interest in me, so it was rather daunting to actually broach the subject. Your enthusiastic response was an immense relief.” 

“Ohh, dude. I gotta confess, it's not just hot that you're so into it, it's also a relief,” I admitted. “I felt so guilty for feeling that way about you. I thought you'd be disgusted if you found out. And when you actually asked, I was worried you were just doing it to humor me, and it wouldn't actually be fun for you.”

“I was unsure of whether I would enjoy it, but trusted that you would respect my boundaries if I did not want to do it again,” said V1KTU$ matter-of-factly. 

“I am so glad you trusted me with that,” I said, smiling. “I am also glad you ended up being so into it.”

V1KTU$ grinned deviously. “I am so into it, and glad that it is well received.” He paused. “I have cooled down sufficiently, if you are ready to continue.” 

“Absolutely,” I said, nodding. 

“Do you desire… penetration?” offered V1KTU$. 

I shook my head. “Nah, I'm kinda taking a break from that.”

“Very well!” said V1KTU$. “I have also procured a vibrating gadget from the sex store. Would you like me to use it on you?” 

“Tentatively? Yeah. But I wanna see it first, not all vibrators are safe,” I said. 

“Of course!” said V1KTU$. He pulled a wand-style vibrator out of a drawer and handed it to me. “It's fully charged, if it interests you.” 

I examined the vibrator carefully. “I don't have one of these myself, but I recognize this brand. It should be good!” I turned it on and held the head to my palm, then turned it off again and handed it back to V1KTU$. “Let's start on low, with my underwear on.” 

“You are very familiar with such items, then?” asked V1KTU$. 

“It's a bit of a hobby and a special interest for me,” I explained. “I have a sizable collection.” 

V1KTU$ paused briefly before speaking. “You keep using that phrase… special interest. What does it mean? I thought I understood, but I get the impression that it has a specific meaning I am unfamiliar with.” 

“Oh! It's basically an unusually keen long term fixation on something that drives a person to learn as much as possible about it,” I said. “It's primarily an Autistic trait. Some people are so fixated on their special interests, they become professionals in their field of interest.” 

“Autistic?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. “What does that mean?” 

“Oh! There's something about my brain structure that differentiates me from most other organics, besides other Autistics, of course,” I said. “It's widely considered to be a disability, and definitely has some negative effects such as sensory sensitivity, but I'm personally proud of it. It does make it harder to relate to and get along with allistics - that is, non-Autistics - though.” I paused. “For me, it has a strong effect on how I perceive and engage with social norms. I find it frustrating when I'm not only expected to fall in line with them, but also expected to allow other people to mistreat me based on how well I do so. I've found that it's a losing battle, and at this point I just do whatever seems right to me and deal with the consequences as needed.”

“Ah! I suppose that explains some things,” said V1KTU$. 

“Probably. Things like what, though?” I asked. 

“You describe a lot of behaviors of organics as though you are an outsider to them yourself,” said V1KTU$. 

I shrugged, then nodded. “I basically am, yeah. What I told you about some people being inherently acceptable is a very Autistic perspective. The truth is that everyone breaks social norms in some way, but you have to do it in a very specific mysterious way to still be considered acceptable, and I have neither the energy nor the desire to attempt to unravel the intricacies. The rules are made up, most of them are invisible, and they don't apply to everyone equally. It's an exercise in futility to try to keep up with them.” 

“Fascinating,” said V1KTU$. “I suppose that would also explain why we get along so well, right? Both of us are outsiders here.” 

I nodded. “There are some organics who don't consider synthetics to be real people, but I'm gonna let you in on something that they don't want you to know.” 

“And what is that?” asked V1KTU$. 

“They don't think all sapient organics are people either,” I said. “Anyone sufficiently different from them is disqualified from personhood in their eyes. As someone who is transgender and Autistic, I'm immediately suspicious of anyone who points to a physical difference as an indicator that someone else isn't a person.” 

“Fascinating, I had no idea,” said V1KTU$. “This may perhaps be a strange question, but do you think Autistics are superior to allistics?” 

I grinned. “I do, and I'm not going to pretend that I don't.” 

V1KTU$ chuckled. “Interesting.”

“Ahem. On that note, how about you use that vibrator on me?” I suggested. 

“Gladly!” said V1KTU$. 

We shifted around on the bed. 

I sat between V1KTU$’s legs, with his front to my back. 

V1KTU$ rubbed my inner thigh with one hand, brandishing the vibrator in the other. “Ready? I, uh, learned how to do this from that download.” 

“Great! Yeah, I'm ready,” I said, spreading my legs a bit more. 

“All right!” said V1KTU$, setting down the vibrator and getting to work caressing my thighs with both hands. 

I moaned and gasped as his hands teased my inner thighs, inching towards my cock. 

He rubbed my cock gently for a bit, paying close attention to my body. As my breathing got heavy, V1KTU$ reached for the vibrator and turned it on. The soft hum of the vibrator became garbled as he pressed it against my underwear-clad vulva. 

A deep moan and a drop of drool escaped my mouth as he moved the vibrator to rest firmly on my cock. 

“You are so strange and warm and alive,” murmured V1KTU$. “I can feel the flow of the blood beneath your skin. It should disgust me, but I am fascinated. And the sound of your highly inefficient respiratory system… it should unnerve me, and yet I am delighted.” He paused. “Sorry, this must be a strange time to talk about that.”

“Keep talking, it's hot,” I moaned. 

“Oh! Uhhh,” stammered V1KTU$. “You're so… soft. And squishy, and slimy, and… alien.”

I gripped the sheets, nearing my climax. 

“I should be repulsed,” added V1KTU$. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “But it excites me.”

His last four words sent me over the edge, and I came hard. I moaned loudly and bucked my hips, slowly grinding against the vibrator until my orgasm subsided. 

V1KTU$ set aside the vibrator and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. “Uhh. Did that feel good?” 

“It felt amazing,” I gasped, still breathing heavily. “I think you figured out dirty talk.”

“Really? Thinking out loud is dirty talk?” asked V1KTU$ incredulously. 

“It is when they're sexy thoughts,” I said. “And those were some very sexy thoughts.”

V1KTU$ fist pumped. “Huzzah! Another victory for V1KTU$ M4X!”

I rolled out of V1KTU$’s lap and laid down on the bed. 

V1KTU$ laid down next to me and put his hand on mine. “I am having… a lot of complicated feelings, but I am also having a good time.” 

“I am honored that you are willing to face those feelings to be with me,” I said gently. 

“It… scares me, but it is worth it,” said V1KTU$. “I feel ridiculous for how much it scares me, I'm sure the others take this sort of thing in stride.”

“You're brave, and any comparison you could make to them is meaningless,” I said firmly. “This is all brand new to you, from the ground up. Since arriving from Tekina, you've gone from having vague knowledge that organics mate, to suggesting sex acts to your new boyfriend. That's incredible.”

“That's… true,” acknowledged V1KTU$. “If someone told me before I left that this is what I would become here… even entertaining the thought that I might have believed them, I would have been appalled and disgusted.” 

I raised an eyebrow. “And how do you feel about it now?” 

V1KTU$ thought for a moment. “I'm… not sure. I am enjoying this, but I don't recognize myself. I look the same in the mirror as I did before, and I don't think I've truly lost myself. But I have changed, and not only in this way. It's… a lot to think about.” 

Chapter Text

V1KTU$ and I walked down the hallway to the common room, hand in hand. 

“Why the long face, Kinni?” said Leetah's voice, as yet out of sight. 

“How am I still single? I'm obscenely famous!” whined Kinni's voice. 

Curious, I stopped walking and motioned to V1KTU$ to also stop. I put my finger to my lips. 

V1KTU$ nodded silently. 

“Hmm, good question,” said Leetah sarcastically. “It could be because all you talk about is your package and how much you love sex. Or perhaps it's because you're having so much casual sex, you barely let your dick get dry between partners. If not that, maybe it's because you have no standards whatsoever, which both makes you look desperate and also gives the impression that you wouldn't make a partner feel special.” She paused. “But, yanno. Besides that, you are a chaste and elegant gentleman, so I dunno why you're having such a hard time!” 

Kinni sighed heavily. “... You know what. That's fair. Still sucks, though.” 

Leetah also sighed. “Yeah. I know that's kind of an ongoing dilemma for you, but why do you mention it now?” She paused. “Hold on. Lemme guess… Does this have something to do with V1KTU$ and Rupert?”

I exchanged confused glances with V1KTU$. 

“Kinda, but I can't really put my finger on why,” said Kinni. 

“I'll give it a shot,” said Leetah thoughtfully. “So… V1KTU$ is the only contender whose pants you haven't gotten into yet, right? You… did also fuck Pepperishi, right?”

“Yeah, and of course I did, respectively,” confirmed Kinni. 

“And you hooked up with Rupert once, but fucked up badly enough to scare him off for a while,” said Leetah. 

Kinni sighed. “Yeah…”

“So, the one who got away paired up with the one who never wanted you at all, and they're exclusive,” said Leetah. She sighed and cracked her back. “And you think just because he got into an actual relationship with someone else, he could have - and would have - had one with you if things panned out differently when you had sex.” 

“What, you think he wouldn't have?” asked Kinni defensively. 

“Okay, to be fair, he is a self-described nobody, he's horny as hell, and he doesn't exactly seem to be brimming with self-respect,” said Leetah. 

My grip on V1KTU$’s hand tightened, and he gave mine a reassuring squeeze in response. 

“So, if you'd asked him out, he probably would have taken you up on it,” continued Leetah. “But you're not exactly boyfriend material, of course.”

There was a brief silence. 

Kinni cursed under his breath before continuing. “All right. I don't know if you're being serious about that, or just fucking with me.”

“I'm serious,” said Leetah. “My genuine opinion just also happens to be mean.”

“Ouch,” murmured Kinni. 

There was another brief silence. 

“So, do you want to know why I think you-” started Leetah. 

“Not really, no!” said Kinni. His footsteps got closer and closer, until he rounded the corner and spotted us. He did a double take, then scrambled backwards a few steps. “Oh! Uhh, hello.” 

“Hello,” I said flatly, putting my free hand on my hip. 

“You, uh. Didn't happen to overhear any of that conversation just now, did ya?” asked Kinni, grinning nervously. 

I shrugged. “I heard enough of it.”

Kinni winced. “Oh.” 

“She's right, you know. There was a period of time during which you could have asked me out, and I would have said yes,” I said evenly, trying to maintain my composure. “But you didn't, did you. Sure, you could have, all the way up until I developed a crush on V1KTU$. But you didn't. She's also right that I would have said yes because I'm horny and have practically no self-respect.”

“Oh, uh. Sorry?” offered Kinni, grimacing. 

“Why now? You only want me now that someone else has me?” I asked, tightening my grip on V1KTU$’s hand. 

“N-no, it's not like that!” stammered Kinni. 

“Okay. So, you want me to believe that you secretly wanted a relationship with me back then, but you never said anything?” I asked. “Was I supposed to guess that, all while you had a never-ending parade of randos waltzing through your bedroom? Was I supposed to think I was the special exception? Was I supposed to guess that after we hooked up, with how that went?”

“It's true, but you do have a point,” said Kinni, shrugging awkwardly. 

I looked away, trying to hide the tears forming in my eyes. “All right… so either you're a liar, or you're a coward. Which is it?”

A heavy silence hit the room. Kinni's hands balled into fists, then relaxed. He sighed and looked away. “Coward. I'm a coward,” he mumbled. 

Another silence hit the room, but was interrupted by a light crunching sound. 

“I already had this popcorn with me,” said Leetah, leaning against the wall with her hand in a paper bag. She tossed a few kernels in her mouth. “Mmm. Pinky promise!” 

Kinni gave Leetah a withering glare. 

“What?” asked Leetah, shrugging. She turned to look at me, and pointed between me and V1KTU$. “Just curious. Which one of you initiated?” 

I pointed at V1KTU$, and he raised his hand. 

Leetah raised an eyebrow incredulously. “Are you serious? Wow.” She turned back to Kinni. “The virgin synthetic who insisted he had no interest in sex had the balls to proposition this guy for public sex, but you couldn't even ask him out?” 

“H-hey!” objected V1KTU$. 

“I did just admit I'm a coward,” muttered Kinni. 

Leetah shook her head. “Unbelievable. What happened to mister big sexy? You’ll ask pretty much any adult to fuck you on the first meeting. But you couldn't ask him on a date?”

“It's different,” mumbled Kinni. “Asking someone for sex? That's easy. A date, though? Not so easy.” 

“Does that have something to do with your secretly debilitatingly low self-esteem?” asked Leetah casually. 

“Yeesh. Do ya really have to kick me while I'm down like that?” asked Kinni, grimacing. 

I sighed in exasperation. “I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this information. C'mon, V1KTU$, let's go back to your room.”

–

“Are you all right?” asked V1KTU$. 

I sat down on the bed. “I guess. I just… ugh. I'm kinda angry, yanno?”

“Do you… want to talk about that?” asked V1KTU$ hesitantly. 

I nodded. “All right, this is an oversimplification, and inaccurate to boot. But I just feel like… a toy. He played with me a little bit too rough, and then just left me in the sandbox. But when someone actually decided to dust me off and take me home, he got upset about it and said he had wanted to do that. But, yanno, he didn't do it, so… tough shit.” 

“... There are several elements of that comparison that are beyond my current understanding of organic culture, primarily the sand box, but I suppose I get the gist,” said V1KTU$. 

“Ah, a sandbox is literally a large box of sand, set up for children to play in,” I said. “Toys such as shovels, buckets, and sturdy plastic vehicles are popular for use in sandboxes, though sometimes toys less suited for exposure to sand are used, such as dolls. It is not uncommon to leave toys in a sandbox for communal use, but they are left vulnerable to the elements and to children who may play too rough with them and break them. Leaving toys in the sandbox is a favor to others who may wish to play with them, but is detrimental to the toys themselves.” 

“I am still struggling to see the connection,” said V1KTU$, squinting in confusion. 

I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “Well. There are many toys in the sandbox, meaning people available for casual sex, previously including myself. Kinni is a child who is a regular visitor to the sandbox and has access to many toys, which he always leaves in the sandbox when he's done. He played with me once and damaged me, and never picked me up again. One day, you came along, and decided that I deserved better than to be left out in the elements. You took me home and washed me off. Kinni noticed that I was missing from the sandbox, and childishly complained that he had intended to do the same as you did. But he had no track record of taking toys home, and had only played with me once before moving on to others. What do you think is more likely: that he genuinely considered taking me home, or that he was just upset that he had one toy fewer to play with, as though he thought he was the only one entitled to do so?”

“Ohhhh,” said V1KTU$. “Tch. So not only did he not take you home, so to speak, he also insulted your intelligence by spuriously claiming that he had intended to do so. Such disrespect.”

I nodded. “Exactly. And even if he had taken me home, I have no idea if he would even have been any better than the sandbox.” I paused. “Yanno. The more I think about it, the more I think I'm not far off.”

“Well. You do deserve better than the, er, proverbial sandbox,” said V1KTU$. 

“Thank you,” I said. I cocked my head to the side. “And you… you'd never been in a sandbox before. Sandboxes, admittedly, are a bit messy and gross. But you specifically saw me in the sandbox, and thought I might be worth playing with. You prepared as much as you could before doing so, reading all about sand and how to play with toys in it. And you actually went for it, you got into the sandbox and played with me. And you liked it so much, you took me home.” I paused. “And then, uhh. Well, I guess there's still sand involved, but it's your personal sandbox, and you don't store me in it, and I spend time with you outside of it.” 

“Well. It is a pleasure to have you in my personal sandbox!” said V1KTU$ firmly. “I was not expecting to enjoy, uh, sand this much.” He paused. “On the subject of spending time out of the sandbox… AG recommended that we go out on a date, for publicity purposes.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!” I said, perking up. “I'm down for that.”

“Excellent!” said V1KTU$. “Uhh… I've never been on a date. I have read about them, though.”

I scratched my head. “I've been on a bunch, but I'm not sure what's appropriate for someone high profile like you. I'm used to dating, uhh, regular people. About as famous as I've gone is locals who are the kind of well-known that gets you an oh god, that guy in response when you tell someone who you're dating.” 

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “I'm not sure how to respond to that last part.”

I shrugged. “I don't know what to tell you about that besides the fact that I don't have the best taste in partners sometimes. I think the draw is that they're interesting. Uhh, anyway. Maybe we should ask Leetah?”

–

“Going on a date, huh?” said Leetah. “You're right to suspect that your options are limited if you don't want paparazzi crawling up your asses. I mean, you want them to see you, obviously, but it gets annoying when you're dealing with ones that are rude enough to physically prevent you from moving.”

“So, what do you suggest?” I asked. 

Leetah rubbed her chin. “Well, firstly you're gonna want at least a couple bodyguards to keep people from physically touching you. I'm sure AG would be happy to arrange that, especially since it was his idea. As for location… probably one of those fancy celebrity restaurants that are impossible to get reservations for, which AG can also deal with.”

“Wow. What do I even wear to a place like that?” I asked, tugging at my collar. 

“If you can find one that caters towards the weirder clientele, pretty much whatever you want, as long as it's at least moderately nice. Fair warning, though… what you are wearing will be a topic of conversation in the news, especially considering that V1KTU$ here doesn't really wear clothes. Think about what kind of image you're trying to project,” said Leetah. “Assuming you want to go for the freaky alt queer look… if I were you, I'd go with that slutty mesh shirt and crop top combo you were wearing when you first started hanging out here. Do something a little neater with your facial hair, and put on some bold makeup. Some black skinny jeans would work… or even a tight mini skirt, if you're feeling it. Shine your boots, too, and I'd say you're good to go.”

“Wig or no wig?” I asked. 

Leetah chuckled. “If you go for a wig, I'd get something nicer than what you have on hand now. The few I've seen you wear were cheap garbage… no offense.”

I shrugged. “None taken, and point noted.”

“If you go for no wig, touch up your head shave. Make sure you've got it all,” said Leetah. “Bathe well, and wear some cologne or perfume, whatever floats your boat.”

“Got it! Glitter makeup or nah?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah, definitely go for the glitter,” said Leetah, grinning. “Loose glitter is such a pain in the ass to work with, but that's what I've seen you wear, and it looks like you have it down pat.”

“Thank you! That means a lot coming from you,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. 

“That it does,” agreed Leetah. “Stop by for a fit check before you head out, and I'll intercept anything glaringly bad.”

“Will do, thank you!” I said, nodding. 

Leetah lowered her voice. “I'm… guessing you don't really want to talk to Kinni right now, so I'm gonna give you the horny advice in his place.” 

“You are guessing correctly,” I said flatly. 

V1KTU$ raised a hand. “Is the horny advice optional?” 

Leetah shrugged. “I guess, but if you really want to make the most of this outing, I'd take it if I were you.” She cracked her knuckles. “All right. PDA is the name of the game here.”

“PDA?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Public display of affection,” I clarified. 

“The very same,” said Leetah, grinning. “You'll wanna keep your hands to yourselves in the restaurant, but you'll also wanna wander the city for a bit after. Find a quiet spot here and there and fool around a little. The goal when choosing a location is to look like you're trying not to get caught, but still be at least partially visible for photos or whatever. Bodyguards still around, of course!” 

I raised an eyebrow. “What level of fooling around are we talking about?” 

“Enough to be a little scandalous, but not enough to get arrested for public indecency,” said Leetah. “Getting a little handsy is good, but keep your clothes on and don't get too loud. And, uh, try not to cum.” She paused. “Kinni would probably tell you to take it as far as you can get away with, but I wouldn't do that unless you're trying to go for some sort of love machine angle. And hey, maybe you are. But you should have a plan ready before you head out.” She eyed V1KTU$ suspiciously. “And by have a plan ready, I mean don't let how horny you are in the moment decide how far you take it. Got it? V1KTU$?”

“Tch! What's that look for?” asked V1KTU$, glaring at Leetah. “I have plenty of self-control.” 

Leetah gave V1KTU$ a flat look. “No. No you do not. But on that note, you should also be the one initiating. And I neither know nor care what your actual dynamic is in the bedroom, but you should be more dominant in public. Think leg-humping dog, not cat in heat.”

“I am unfamiliar with the sexual behaviors of those animals,” said V1KTU$ dubiously. 

“I'll explain later,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. 

Chapter Text

“So, how do I look?” I asked, holding my arms up. 

“Hmmm,” murmured Leetah, eyeing my outfit carefully as she circled around me. “I see you went for the bald look. Looks tidy, good job. Goatee? Acceptable. Pink and purple glitter eyeshadow, good, good. Black lipstick… the upturned corners are a nice touch, makes you look naughty.” 

“Thanks! It's a habit I picked up from a cosplay,” I said. 

Leetah nodded. “Cool, cool. So, I'd skip the spiked collar this time. Sure, it's cute, but people will think you're collared.”

“Collared?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

“It's a kinky thing,” I explained, removing the collar and tucking it in my purse. “If someone is collared, it means someone has ownership of them, in a kinky way. I'm not collared.”

“... Sounds complicated. I'll settle for a full explanation later,” said V1KTU$. “Continue?”

“The pendant is cute. Resin can go either way, honestly, but the pink and purple match your makeup, and it looks at least a little bit pricey. Is that silver on the back?” asked Leetah. 

I nodded. “It is, yeah.” 

“Good, good,” said Leetah. “I see you went with the mesh shirt and crop top combo I recommended. Looks good, no notes on that. Black skinny jeans, too.” She paused. “Did you stuff your pants?” 

“I'm wearing a packer. Is it that obvious?” I asked nervously. 

“Nah, it's fine. I just didn't remember seeing you with a bulge like that before,” said Leetah. “Black leather boots, cleaned and shined. Great. Did you do your nails yourself?”

“Yep!” I replied. 

“I can tell,” said Leetah flatly, smirking. “Don't worry, though, messy nails still work with the look. The black with glitter is cute, though!” 

“Er, thank you?” I said uncertainly. 

Leetah chuckled. “You're welcome.” She squinted at me and rubbed her chin. “Hmmm… You're missing something. Oh! Earrings! You've got holes for those, why not use ’em?”

“Oh! Er, I didn't bring any,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. 

“Hold on a sec,” said Leetah, picking up her purse. She rifled through it, and produced a pair of dangling earrings with pink stars on them. “Here. You can just keep these, I've been meaning to get rid of ’em.”

I accepted the earrings and put them on. “Thank you! I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, no problem,” said Leetah. She turned to V1KTU$. “Well, you're clean. That's good. Still wearing that ratty old cape, though?” 

“There's nothing wrong with my cape!” huffed V1KTU$. 

“Pfft… well, if you insist on wearing it anyway, go for it,” said Leetah. 

V1KTU$ put his hands on his hips. “I will, thank you very much.”

Leetah turned back to me. “You brought your lipstick for touch-ups, right?” 

“Of course I did,” I confirmed. 

“Good,” said Leetah firmly. “How much does it transfer?” 

“It stays pretty well, but it doesn't hold up to greasy food or vigorous making out,” I responded. “I appreciate that you're being thorough, but what's the relevance?” 

Leetah nodded approvingly. “That's about right for this purpose. Before you head out, how about you put on a fresh coat of it and give your boyfriend a good smooch mark in the corner of his screen? And like, obviously fix it after. I mean, on your face. But I think making it obvious you started the night with a kiss would be a good look.”

“I can do that! Is that okay with you, V1KTU$?” I asked. 

“If you think it will help!” said V1KTU$. 

I obliged, leaving a kiss mark of fresh lipstick in the upper right corner of V1KTU$’s screen. I blotted my lips dry with a tissue, then reapplied. 

“Perfect!” said Leetah, clapping her hands together. “Did you decide on the horniness level?” 

“Scandalous but not indecent, like you suggested,” I replied. 

Leetah turned to V1KTU$ and raised an eyebrow. “Do you think you can handle that?” 

“Stop asking me that question!” huffed V1KTU$. “Of course I can manage a little self-control.” 

“I dunno dude, I'm half expecting you to start dragging this guy off for sex like a caveman, considering how your patience seems to be dwindling,” said Leetah. 

“Sh-shut up!” stammered V1KTU$. 

Leetah rolled her eyes. “Anyway! Good luck. Get some eyes on you, don't get arrested for public indecency in the process… and most importantly, have fun!” 

–

“I don't know how I'm going to do this,” whispered V1KTU$. “I couldn't manage it in front of even just Kinni before. How am I supposed to do it in front of a bunch of strangers with cameras?” 

I swallowed the bite of steak in my mouth. “We don't actually have to do it, yanno. We can walk around a bit and admire the city, then call it a night. No shenanigans, totally innocent. Would you prefer that?” 

V1KTU$ looked down, intently contemplating the tablecloth. “I… I don't know. It might be… fun? To get a little more risqué. How about you? What do you think?” 

“I think it would be hot,” I said flatly. “People who've known me for a while are familiar with my proclivity for PDA. Making a show of how into my partner I am. Giving in to temptation when the privacy of the bedroom is just too far away, and I'm so worked up it can't wait. And the delightful agony of having to hold back when I want nothing more than to go all the way. Everyone will know we can't keep our hands off of each other, because each of us is irresistible.” I paused. “That's… roughly my take on it. Heh…”

V1KTU$ blushed, eyes wide. “W-well. When you put it like that…”

–

Walking along the sidewalk hand-in-hand with V1KTU$, I spotted a narrow alleyway and discreetly pointed it out to him. 

“There? Really?” whispered V1KTU$. 

“Seems like a good place to start,” I whispered back. 

“If you say so,” murmured V1KTU$, leading me into the alleyway. 

One of our bodyguards went in before us, turning his back to us to watch the other end of the alley. 

“So, do I just…” murmured V1KTU$, gingerly pushing me towards the wall. 

“That's right,” I whispered encouragingly, allowing V1KTU$ to push me against the mercifully clean wall. 

“Uhhh,” stammered V1KTU$, sneaking a nervous glance at the gathered photographers, and then looking back up at me. 

“We still don't have to do this,” I said gently. 

“N-no, I want to!” insisted V1KTU$ quietly, gesturing frantically. 

I pulled V1KTU$’s body close to mine, and kissed him on the screen. “Put your hands on my hips,” I instructed.

V1KTU$ complied, and extended his legs a bit to get closer to my height. “A-am I doing this right?” 

“You're doing great,” I whispered, brushing a hand down the side of his head. 

“O-oh,” moaned V1KTU$ quietly. “Err…” He snuck another glance at the paparazzi. 

“It's all right. Just keep your eyes on me,” I said gently. I kissed V1KTU$ again, and ran my fingers down the sides of his head, this time with a little more pressure. 

“Aaahn,” moaned V1KTU$, his eyes closing in pleasure, then flicking open again nervously. “O-oh no, I-I'm making too much noise. I'll just…” He fell completely silent. 

I raised an eyebrow. “Turned off your voice?” 

V1KTU$ nodded sheepishly, then gestured for me to continue. 

I stroked his head again, a little bit harder, and continued for a bit. 

An assortment of lustful and ecstatic facial expressions crossed V1KTU$’s screen. Tentatively, he cupped my packer in his hand and rubbed it. 

I stifled a moan. “Mmf… that doesn't do a lot for me, but it's good enough to tease.” My fingers brushed the edge of his plume. 

V1KTU$’s eyes shot open in surprise, and then closed in pleasure. He leaned into my touch, trying to get the bristles of his plume amongst my fingers. 

I pulled my hand away and grinned. “You're getting a little too excited.”

V1KTU$ gave me a pleading look. 

“No, we need to move on to somewhere else,” I murmured, pushing him away gently. 

The overexcited robot pantomimed a frustrated sigh. 

I stifled a laugh. “I think you can turn your voice on again.” 

“Ah, right! Yanno, my voice broke for a few hours recently,” said V1KTU$. He rolled his eyes. “Leetah told me it was an improvement. Rude!” 

My expression dropped suddenly, and I looked away. 

“What? Did I say something wrong?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

“N-no, I just. I've actually had something like that happen to me… more than once. It… wasn't fun, and it's hard to think about,” I murmured, tugging at my shirt anxiously. 

“O-oh. I'm… sorry?” offered V1KTU$ awkwardly. “Do you, er, want to talk about it?”

I shook my head slowly. “Not here. Maybe somewhere slightly more private? Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down.”

V1KTU$ took both of my hands in his. “Hey. It's all right, let's go look for somewhere else.” 

We moved along, the perimeter of photographers around our bodyguards now more of an afterthought. After a bit, we made our way into a public park, and sat on a bench in a shaded area. 

“I'm… not very good at feelings, but I want to try to help if you're sad,” said V1KTU$, his hands in mine. “What's going on?” 

“S-sorry, I'm… it's practically a miracle it's taken this long for me to get triggered around you,” I murmured. 

V1KTU$ shrugged. “Well… I've seen you before sitting around alone with the same expression you have now, so I assumed it was some sort of thing for you but didn't know what it was. I opted to give you space in those instances. What is this?” 

“I got triggered,” I murmured. “I have PTSD, that is, post-traumatic stress disorder, and sometimes something will remind me of something bad that happened to me. And then it's like a switch goes off, and I feel terrible. It's unpleasant… and embarrassing.”

“Oh! You are malfunctioning?” asked V1KTU$. “Is there not a way to repair you?” 

I shook my head. “It's treatable, but not curable. Medical care - that is, repairs for organics - and healing are imprecise processes compared to repairs on synthetics, sometimes with a lot of trial and error just to reach a reasonable level of functioning.” 

“Oh,” said V1KTU$ softly. He hesitated before speaking again. “Are you… dying?” 

I chuckled half-heartedly. “Nah, it's not fatal, just disruptive.”

“Whew! That's a relief, then,” said V1KTU$, giving my hands a squeeze. “You… wanted to talk about what happened, right?” 

I paused, then nodded. “Yeah. I have this thing sometimes where I can't speak. Usually it's from being triggered in some way, and it sometimes happens following a more extreme type of meltdown where I am physically immobilized.” I shook my head and gestured dismissively. “Well. I don't really want to get into that right now, but I'll continue with the other stuff.” 

“That really sounds like something I should know about, but I presume you would prefer not to discuss it in public?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yeah, not while we're out and about,” I said, nodding. “Anyway… I talk a lot. I have a lot to say. But sometimes, I feel like I'm being ignored when I speak and I just stop talking. And then I physically can't until well after I've calmed down from whatever triggered it.” I paused. “Honestly, that's bad enough on its own. But almost invariably, when this happens, I discover that the people around me like me better when I'm silent.” I paused for a bit, gathering my words. 

V1KTU$ gave my hands a reassuring squeeze. 

I smiled slightly and continued. “They don't tell me that to my face. Usually, anyway. But I can tell… it's in the way that the vibe relaxes. It's in the way that people are more comfortable spending time with me when I can't easily communicate with them. It's in the way that nobody checks in on me until long after I stop talking, because they're just glad I'm not yapping anymore.” Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, I tightened my grip on V1KTU$’s hands, then relaxed it a bit. I opened my eyes again, but my vision swam with tears. “Of course, I'm not myself when I can't speak. All the chatter is an integral part of who I am. But people prefer me that way, and it's devastating to learn that, every single time, again and again.”

“Er, well. I don't really know how I should respond to that, but I can tell you that I like hearing you talk,” said V1KTU$. “It is a pleasant noise, and you say so many interesting things. I like how your voice gets more excited when you're talking about things you like, even if I don't really understand what you're talking about. I… am certainly someone who appreciates and seeks silence. But when I seek your company, I eagerly anticipate hearing your voice again.” 

I sobbed, and threw myself into V1KTU$’s arms. 

“Woah, uh. Hey, i-it's all right,” said V1KTU$, wrapping his arms around me. “Uhh. You are going to be okay. Th-that's the thing to say when someone is crying, right?” 

“That's the nicest thing someone's said to me in a long time,” I murmured into his shoulder. “I'm glad you like it when I talk.” 

V1KTU$ held me in silence for what seemed like ages. 

I slowly pulled away, resuming my grip on V1KTU$’s hands. “I learned Glitter-Novan sign language to be able to communicate while I can't speak, because I can still sign even when I can't speak.” I paused. “This is going to sound ridiculous, but the main reason I learned was out of spite for the people who prefer me when I'm not talking. It doesn't have much practical use because relatively few hearing people know how to sign, but I can talk to myself, dammit, if nobody else. I can rant about how frustrated I am, or curse them out, or whatever. I refuse to stop talking, even when I cannot speak. I will not let them win.”

“I… can literally just download that language, if you like,” said V1KTU$. “It would be sensible to be able to communicate with you when you can't speak.” 

“Th-that would be awesome, actually,” I murmured. “I'm not anywhere near fluent, but I can communicate my needs and make some conversation.” 

“Perhaps, in such a scenario, I can speak, and you can sign?” suggested V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “Perfect, thank you.”

“It could also be useful in situations where speaking is not advisable, such as loud environments and scenarios that call for discreet communication,” said V1KTU$. 

“Also sensible!” I agreed. “Wanna cuddle for a bit?”

“Sure, why not!” said V1KTU$. He nestled himself under my arm, holding both of my hands. 

I pulled him in a bit closer. “Yanno, despite getting triggered and stuff, I'm overall having a good time. Are you enjoying yourself?” 

“I am!” said V1KTU$. “This is a rather novel experience, and it's nice to get away from the other Contenders for a little bit, too.” 

“Not a big fan of being cooped up with your rivals for long periods of time?” I asked. 

“I am growing to tolerate them… but yes,” admitted V1KTU$. “The isolation obscures the existence of the outside world. I haven't left the Backstage much, besides for challenges. What's out here is unfamiliar to me, and my fame makes it impractical to do much of anything in public without being chased by cameras. It was worth venturing out for this, though.”

I nodded. “This is more of a performance than a date, but it's still fun! And it's hot to play along with the PDA thing… I'm delighted to have an excuse to fool around in public.” 

“Is that so?” asked V1KTU$. He let go of one of my hands and placed his hand on my thigh. 

“That is so,” I said, grinning. I spread my legs slightly. 

V1KTU$ slipped his hand down to my inner thigh and rubbed it slowly from inside to outside, starting closer to the knee and moving it up, taking his time as he inched closer to my crotch. 

I felt my hard cock press against my packer, and shifted my sitting position, spreading my legs just a bit more. 

Grinning, V1KTU$ moved his hand back to my knee and repeated his movements, working his way up slowly. 

I started breathing heavily, stifling my moans. My body tensed up as he moved closer to the prize, stopping just a couple of inches short before returning to my knee. 

Despite myself, I groaned in exquisite frustration, legs starting to shake. 

V1KTU$ pulled away his hand and flashed a cheeky grin. “Getting a little too excited, are you?” 

I grumbled under my breath, then pulled V1KTU$’s face towards me so I could kiss him on the screen. 

“Gaah!” gasped V1KTU$. “D-do you mind if I turn off my voice for a bit again? It's by choice, of course, so I can avoid making noise.”

“Go for it!” I said, nodding. I rubbed the side of his head gently, then switched to dragging my fingertips across it. 

V1KTU$ squeezed my other hand, and closed his eyes in ecstasy. 

I continued to drag my fingertips down his head, then progressed to gentle scratches. 

Shuddering, V1KTU$ leaned into my touch. 

“You like that, huh?” I whispered. “You'll like this even more.” Gently, I moved my hand up and brushed my fingertips against the side of his plume. 

V1KTU$ squirmed, and his eyes teared up. 

Grinning, I teased V1KTU$’s plume a bit more, lightly pushing my fingers into it. As his cooling fans kicked up, I pulled my hand away. 

“I-I want to keep going!” begged V1KTU$, tugging at my shirt insistently. 

“I'm sure you do,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “But this would be an inconvenient place for you to suddenly shut off. Do you want to head back so we can do this properly?” 

V1KTU$ paused, then nodded. “Yeah. This has been fun, b-but I… nngh. I need your hands on me, until we are both satisfied.” 

“I feel the same way,” I said, pulling at the collar of my shirt. “Let's get going.” 

–

V1KTU$ and I entered his room. The moment the door closed, we were all over each other. 

I kissed his screen repeatedly, then full-tongue licked him. 

“Aaanh!” moaned V1KTU$, pulling me closer and putting a leg against my crotch. 

“Mmf, hold on,” I said, pulling away. I unzipped my pants, pulled out my packer, and tossed it on the bed. “There we go. Shall we continue?”

V1KTU$ pulled me close again, this time also plunging his hand down my pants. His fingers found my rock hard cock, rubbing it through my underwear. 

“Ohhhh fffuck,” I moaned, bucking my hips. Already worked up from the teasing on our date, I was quickly approaching my climax, but still trying to hold back. 

Gently gripping my cock through my underwear, V1KTU$ stroked it slowly. 

Not expecting the increase in stimulation, I gasped and clutched at V1KTU$’s body as my orgasm rapidly approached. It hit me hard, and my knees buckled as pleasure wracked my body. I squirted, soaking my pants, but I was too excited to care. 

“Oh, you've sprung a leak!” said V1KTU$, withdrawing his hand from my pants. 

“Nah, I just came and squirted,” I gasped. 

“... I don't know why I hadn't considered that you might be able to do that standing up,” murmured V1KTU$, eyeing my wet pants. “Do you need a break to recompose yourself?” 

“Yeah. I'm gonna take my clothes off while I'm at it,” I said, wiping sweat from my forehead. 

V1KTU$ sat on the bed and looked up at me eagerly, hands folded in his lap. 

I sat down next to him and removed my boots, then peeled off my skinny jeans. Standing up again, I carefully removed Leetah's earrings, then my necklace, stashing both in my purse. My mesh shirt came off next, and then my crop top, leaving me clad only in my soft boxer briefs.

“Seeing you undress remains a source of excitement!” said V1KTU$, watching me in fascination. 

“I'm glad!” I said, sitting down next to him. I admired the smudged lipstick on his screen before leaning in to kiss him again, and again, and again. 

V1KTU$ grabbed my hands eagerly and put them on the sides of his head, then paused, realizing what he'd just done. “Err…”

Chuckling, I dragged my nails down the sides of his head. “Fuck, it's hot how worked up you are.”

“Nnnnh… aaah…” moaned V1KTU$, shaking as he leaned into my touch. 

Gently, I pushed him down on the bed and straddled his legs. I plunged both hands into his plume and wiggled my fingers. 

“Aaah! Aaaaahnh!” moaned V1KTU$, clutching the sheets. His fans became audible for a few seconds, before his screen went dark and his body shut off, with a soft click. 

“Wow, that was quick,” I murmured. “Of course, I did just squirt in my pants after like 30 seconds of being jerked off, so…” 

After a minute or so, V1KTU$’s screen flickered on, and he sat up. “Oww. Whew! That was enjoyable.” He eyed my body. “Do you want to do more sex?” 

“I do, when you're ready! But I'd like both of us to wash our hands before touching any mucous membranes, we touched all sorts of dirty surfaces on our date,” I said. 

Chapter Text

The two of us made our way to the bathroom, and I got to work washing my hands. 

V1KTU$ peered at himself in the mirror with a mixture of disgust and fascination. “Wow. That lipstick… it's smeared all over my screen. It didn't seem like there was that much of it. I suppose this is what you meant when you warned me about makeup getting everywhere.”

“Grease paint is infinitely worse, but yeah, lipstick does make a mess!” I said. I eyed V1KTU$’s heavily smudged screen. “I think it's hot, though. There's evidence of me kissing you a lot, and so enthusiastically that it got all over.” 

“That evidence is ephemeral, as it will need to be cleaned off, but I will admit it is satisfying to look at,” said V1KTU$. He paused. “However, I suppose the act itself is also ephemeral. The physical imprint, although fleeting, is worthy of appreciation.”

“That is a beautiful way to put it,” I said, drying my hands on a paper towel. I moved out of the way to give V1KTU$ access to the sink, and admired my reflection. “Speaking of ephemerality and makeup… makeup is a temporary art form, and that's one of my favorite things about it. Sometimes I want it to look and stay nice for a cosplay, but if I'm going out on a date or otherwise for fun, I like to see how my day went on my face. For example, my lipstick is a mess because we've been kissing, and my eyeliner ran when I cried.”

“Almost like you were setting up an experiment, yes?” asked V1KTU$. “A seismograph for your face.”

I shrugged. “Kinda! Except it's very inexact, and it's artistic and also hot.” I squinted at the mirror. “The glitter held up well, though. That setting spray is an absolute beast.”

V1KTU$ grabbed a paper towel. “I will wait until later to properly re-lubricate my joints, considering I will need to wash them again when we are done.”

“Good plan,” I said, nodding. 

–

“I am ready to continue if you are,” said V1KTU$. 

“Yup, I'm ready!” I said, running my hand down the side of V1KTU$’s head. 

“Aah…” moaned V1KTU$, leaning into my touch. 

I raised an eyebrow. “You're still pretty damn horny, huh?” 

“Evidently!” said V1KTU$, holding my hand in place against his head. Realizing what he was doing, he let go. “Err, sorry. B-but I… I want…”

“You want me to get you off again?” I finished. 

“P-please,” gasped V1KTU$. “I'll pleasure you after as well, but I just. I… please, just touch me.”

I rubbed the back of my head. “Will you be okay if you do it a second time, so soon?” 

“I'll be fine,” said V1KTU$ flatly. He leaned in, offering his head. “Touch?” 

“Insatiable, aren't you,” I observed, running my fingers down the sides of his head. 

“Aaaanh,” moaned V1KTU$, leaning into it hard. 

I raked my nails down his head again and again, drawing a cacophony of moans and gasps from my helplessly horny boyfriend. 

“More! I-I want more!” cried V1KTU$. 

I shoved both hands into his plume again, digging my fingers deeper with one hand and lightly tugging at the bristles with the other. 

“Ohhhh! Nnngh! Aaaah! Mmmnh!” moaned V1KTU$, twisting the sheets in his hands. His fans kicked up again.

I kissed and licked V1KTU$’s screen as my hands continued to work his plume. 

V1KTU$’s body emitted a light click, his screen went dark, and he went limp. 

Time passed, longer than I expected, and I eyed V1KTU$’s lifeless body with growing concern. 

Finally, V1KTU$’s fans kicked on, but it was a little while longer before his screen flickered to life, revealing eyes squeezed shut in pain. Shakily, and with some effort, he sat up, then fell backwards again. He groaned. 

“Woah. Are you okay? Should I get help?” I asked nervously. 

“That hurt a lot,” moaned V1KTU$. “I-I should not have done that. However, I do not think I will require intervention from a mechanic. I just need to wait.” 

I laid down next him and put my hand on his. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone along with it.”

V1KTU$ shook his head slowly. “No. This is not your fault, and I do not blame you. I demanded it. And it felt incredible, up until it didn't anymore.” 

“Not worth it this time?” I asked. 

V1KTU$ waggled a finger. “Shouldn't have done it and not worth it are two different things. It was worth it. Oh Motherboard, was it worth it. But I can't make a habit of it.” 

“That's hot,” I said flatly. “I'm sorry it hurt so much… but that's hot.”

“Yeah, yeah it is,” said V1KTU$. “I still fully intend to bring you to orgasm, but I need to take a break.”

“We really don't have to continue. Your wellbeing is infinitely more important than my orgasm,” I said firmly. 

V1KTU$ shrugged. “I still want to try. I suppose if I don't recover within a reasonable amount of time, we will call it a night.” 

I sighed. “Don't push yourself. You don't want to risk further damage.”

“Tch! Bold to assume what I am or am not willing to risk,” huffed V1KTU$. He paused. “That was a joke. But I am not at risk of damage unless I try to overload myself again. It should be safe for me to pleasure you, as long as I'm not too vigorous, and as long as you're not also pleasuring me.” 

“If you're sure,” I said dubiously. 

“I am,” confirmed V1KTU$ firmly. “But… we'll wait until I cool down first, just in case.” 

There was a brief silence. 

“Did you enjoy the date?” I asked, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. 

“I did!” said V1KTU$. “It was nice spending time with you outside this place. And the fooling around, so to speak, was quite enjoyable.” He paused. “It was also worthwhile to learn something new about you, and to see you vulnerable in a way I haven't seen before. We have had many personal conversations, but that… that was different.” 

“I'm glad that was more interesting than upsetting for you,” I murmured. “There's more where that came from. As I get more comfortable with someone, the more vulnerable I get, and the more easily I get triggered. I guess the only encouraging thing I can say about that is that it means I feel safe around you.”

V1KTU$ gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “Well, I am glad you feel safe around me. I'm not sure if I exactly understand what is going on with that, but I will do some reading on this PTSD thing. You organics have all sorts of interesting ways to malfunction! It's almost impressive, albeit unsettling.” 

“That means a lot to me, thank you,” I murmured. 

“That thing you said about immobilizing meltdowns… can you explain that to me?” asked V1KTU$. “It sounded serious.” 

I hesitated for a moment before speaking. “It's… really unpleasant and embarrassing, but I guess it's important to know about it. It mostly happens at social events like parties, but I've had it happen in one-on-one interactions, too. How the people around me handle it makes the difference between a traumatic experience and simply being embarrassing.”

“I want to know how to make it embarrassing!” said V1KTU$. He paused. “Er. Just embarrassing.”

“I'm getting there, and I appreciate it! I gotta explain how it happens first,” I said. “So, it can come on suddenly or gradually, depending on the context. In a one-on-one situation, it's usually sudden and brought on by getting triggered badly enough that I just kinda shut down. In a group situation like a party, it's usually gradual, and the usual cause is…” I paused. “Ugh, this is embarrassing. But if there's someone I'm attending with or went there to meet up with, and I feel like they're ignoring me, sometimes it happens. I'll find somewhere to sit or lie down, and just… stay there. Secretly hoping that person will at least check on me… but they don't. I just feel worse and worse, feeling sorry for myself, and I slowly lose the ability to move.”

“So, it's… preventable? At least at parties?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged. “Technically, yeah. But shit happens, people are busy, et cetera. It can happen by accident, even when someone is well-meaning.” I paused. “I-I mean. In theory. The times I've been left alone for long enough for it to get really bad, as far as I can remember, it turned out that the people involved were… not exactly great. I… I don't know. Most of them didn't care to stick around while I recovered, and one who did clearly would have preferred to be doing something else, and also preferred me silent afterward. That was not my worst experience with that person, so I will not be giving him the benefit of the doubt in that situation. Anyway… one of the worst things about it is feeling like an inconvenience.” 

V1KTU$ grip on my hand tightened. “Rupert… I may be new to relationships and whatnot, but I know that having friends or even just allies, you don't just abandon someone you're supposed to look out for when they are malfunctioning. Of course, if they fall in a fight, there are other priorities. But you still go back after. I… don't understand, is there some nuance to organic culture that prevents this?” 

I sighed deeply. “Yanno… I wonder the same damn thing. I can't imagine doing that to someone else, barring other emergencies. Even if I didn't especially like someone, if I had some level of responsibility for them, I'd at least get someone to help them. I suppose it's not a crime to be inconvenient. And I try to warn people ahead of time, so they know not to call an ambulance or anything… Not that anyone has ever actually bothered to do that, anyway.”

“In the event this happens for any reason, what should I expect and what should I do?” asked V1KTU$. 

“I become unable to move my body or properly support my head, and especially at first, I will not physically respond to attempts to communicate with me. It's worth mentioning that I am fully conscious while this is happening, and will remember what is said and done to me,” I explained. “The first priority is to make sure I'm somewhere safe. I can usually walk slowly, if I'm supported, but let me know what you're doing and where we're going if you need to move me or otherwise manipulate my body in any way. In an emergency situation, just do what you have to. After that, arrange me so that I'm lying down in a comfortable position and my head is supported. And then, just… stick around, and stay calm. Hold my hand, maybe, if I'm not resisting it. Don't rush me to snap out of it, or demand that I start communicating, that actually makes it last longer. Eventually, I'll start moving a little bit at a time. Usually starting with my fingers, then moving up my arms, and I just keep getting unstuck a bit at a time. I might try and fail to sit up, but that's fine. Just wait… and stay. Once I'm moving again, I won't be able to talk, but I may be calm enough to rejoin group activities.”

“That sounds manageable!” said V1KTU$. “It also sounds like an unpleasant experience. My sympathies.” 

“Thank you. It is,” I confirmed. “Is this… more complicated than you expected when you propositioned me not too long ago?”

“I wasn't expecting to get this far,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “My research turned up some bizarre and complex courtship rituals, though, which appear to have proven unnecessary. Your needs may be complex, but they make sense to me. I can handle that.”

I squeezed V1KTU$’s hand. “I am so glad to hear that.” I paused. “This is almost entirely unrelated, and not necessarily important at all, but do you… experience sexual attraction?”

V1KTU$ narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Through my research, I have come across the concept, but as for whether it is applicable to how I feel about you… my research has been inconclusive. The most permissive definition is a desire to have sex with someone… but many argue that that alone is insufficient. The terminology goes beyond my understanding very quickly. Can you shed any light on the subject?” 

“Oh boy. All right,” I said, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. “Okay. I'm gonna provide my qualifications here, so to speak. I am gray asexual, in my case meaning that I experience sexual attraction infrequently. I've personally wanted, had, and enjoyed sex with people I wasn't sexually attracted to, either just because I thought it might be fun, or because I just wanted physical closeness with them. In those cases, it's like wanting to do any other activity. I might be looking forward to it, but the motivation is just fun and pleasure or whatever rather than something… deeper. It's less personal. Am I making sense so far?”

V1KTU$ nodded. “I believe so. Continue?”

“Sexual attraction is more of just… wanting. Not just wanting the sex, wanting the person. You just… you want to touch them, intimately, and there is no particular reason beyond just wanting sexual contact with that person. That person just existing excites you sexually.”

“Ohhhh,” said V1KTU$, eyes wide. “Er, Rupert?”

“Yes, V1KTU$?” I responded. 

“I do believe that I recently confessed to finding your body inherently arousing. And I know you heard me, because you said it was hot,” said V1KTU$. “Does that, perhaps, qualify?” 

I scratched my head. “Oh! Ohhhh. Yeah, yeah it does. Er, sorry.”

V1KTU$ shook his head. “No apology needed. The discussion was necessary for me to understand this. Thank you.”

“No problem!” I said, giving him a thumbs up. 

“This is probably a silly question, but are you sexually attracted to me?” asked V1KTU$. “Seeing as you are gray asexual, as you described it.”

“Oh yeah, definitely,” I said, nodding enthusiastically. 

V1KTU$ gave me a curious look. “What do you find arousing about me?”

“Oh gosh, uhh. It's gonna sound like I'm fetishizing your synthetic-ness. Which I, uh, kinda am,” I murmured, looking away. 

“Rupert?” said V1KTU$ gently. 

“Yes, V1KTU$?” I asked, visibly sweating. 

V1KTU$ grinned deviously. “You described yourself as a robot fucker. And I described inherent aspects of your organicness as exciting. I think we crossed the fetishization line long ago, and it is fine. Now, tell me what excites you about me… in graphic detail, if you like.” 

I blushed. “O-okay. Okay. All right. In no particular order… the way you move, your robotic voice, the fact that you don't have genitals and have to find other ways to have sex-”

“Is that what that's about? The no genitals thing?” interrupted V1KTU$. 

“Yanno what,” I said, cracking my knuckles. “You've activated my robot fucking infodump.” 

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “Is this different from the one you gave me the first time we did sex?” 

“That was the evolutionary biology version,” I said matter-of-factly. “This one is hotter. And more… cultural? You weren't ready for this one then, but I think you are now.” 

“... Am I going to regret asking?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged. “Do you want me to stop?” 

V1KTU$ thought for a moment. “... No.”

“Great! I'm gonna start by finishing my answer to what you actually asked me,” I said, grinning. “All right, so… what's hot about you, to me. Going back to the genitals thing, it's about how we have starkly different bodies, but still wanted to have sex. So, it took a little bit of problem-solving, which we were both willing to go to the trouble of doing because of how determined we were to have sex. It's hot when sex is a little challenging. And it's also hot how you were so sure you couldn't do it, but it turned out that there was very little obstacle besides your hesitation to attempt it, and now you can't get enough of it.” 

“Wait, so… the additional difficulty we experience during sex as a result of me being a synthetic… makes it… hotter?” asked V1KTU$ incredulously. 

I nodded. “Very much so!” 

“Fascinating! And good. I was concerned about that as an obstacle, and wondered why you would bother with such an inconvenience,” murmured V1KTU$. 

“Ohhh no, dude, that just makes it so much hotter. The challenge of it,” I confirmed. “It's satisfying to overcome it.” 

“Fascinating,” repeated V1KTU$. 

“Your cool robot body is also very appealing,” I continued. “And the unnatural nature of it, so to speak. Metal, plastic, fiberglass, et cetera… And yet, there is so much life in you, even if not in the biological sense. Despite being so different from me, you are also a person… and a consenting adult, at that. It's also an absolute pleasure being the first person you've fucked. You get so excited about it, and you're unaccustomed to feeling like that. And I'm honored that I did a good enough job the first time for you to want more.”

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “My inexperience is not to my detriment?” 

I shook my head. “It would be a problem if you weren't actively interested in learning, but you are… and you're a fast learner, to boot. It would also be a problem if you were selfish in bed, but you're not. You're enthusiastic about getting me off, too. All of that is also very appealing. I am a lucky man to have you as a partner.” 

“Well! I am pleased that you feel that way,” said V1KTU$. 

“In all seriousness, it's hot that you're a robot, but that's not why I'm into you in general. There are lots of synthetics out there, plenty of whom are already DTF, but there's only one of you. And just being a robot isn't enough to catch my attention,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. 

“I am fully aware that I am a superior specimen of my kind, but I am curious about what specifically appeals to you,” said V1KTU$ matter-of-factly. 

I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “Despite your rightfully-earned reputation as a megalomaniac, you're actually really sweet one-on-one. And you've just got that weird little guy vibe going on, and I have a thing for weird little guys. And since actually getting together, and having more personal conversations, I feel… safe around you. Should I? I don't know. But I do.” 

“Your vulnerability surprises me, but it also puts me at ease,” said V1KTU$. “Some of the things I've admitted to you… I would never have revealed to anyone else. To admit anything short of total confidence to any of the other Contenders would be foolhardy at best, or dangerous at worst.”

“I'm glad you're comfortable around me too,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze and pulling him a bit closer. I paused. “Oh! I was going to give you my robot fucking infodump. Right.”

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “Well, let's hear it, then!” 

“Will do!” I said, nodding. “So, when I talked about sexual novelty, a lot of it is about violating taboos, big or small, because few things are hotter than doing things you're not supposed to do. 

On a level that is almost completely obsolete, organics have been engaging in non-reproductive mating for a very long time, including a large percentage of non-sapient animals. Nominally, traditionally speaking, mating is meant to consist of direct genital-to-genital contact, between members of reproductively compatible sexes. There are exceptions for species that have some sort of additional step involved, and this excludes species that practice external fertilization… so, it's a heavy oversimplification, but I digress. Anyway… besides what is necessary for procreation, we've also been using every orifice, crevice, appendage, and protrusion on our bodies for sexual purposes, as well as participating same-sex mating. There are plenty of sex acts that don't even involve the genitals of any participant, such as anal stimulation, not to mention people like myself who can get off from practically any physical contact. 

When you step things up a notch, this also includes any object, or, unfortunately… organism, we can get our hands on. That's a wide category with a huge range of social acceptability, of course. 

Bringing things up to the level of modern society, there are social taboos against certain types of non-reproductive sex, as well as against sex with stigmatized sections of the population… such as transgender people, like myself. Sex with me would be especially exciting for some people partly because my body is unusual, and partly because it is considered taboo. Which is… not ideal, especially when the taboo gets explicitly integrated in the form of shame or insult. 

And then, we get into the phenomenon of interspecies sex between sophonts, a category under which sex with synthetics falls. This is exclusively non-reproductive, and requires modification of sexual behaviors in order to accommodate the sexual needs of all participants, usually to an extent not ordinarily necessary for sex between members of the same species. The challenge involved is explicitly exciting for some people. 

Sex with people without genitals, synthetic or otherwise, especially carries a challenge. Misuse of other body parts, so to speak, is a necessary feature. Absent of context this may sound extreme, but going all the way back to the start, this is very much precedented and normal behavior for organics. The concept of misuse for sexual purposes is appealing, as is the triumph of doing something the average person would assume is impossible, through sheer ingenuity driven by the desire for sex. 

You are lucky it's as easy for you as it is, though since you're relatively advanced I figured there was a good chance it would be. For some synthetics, installing a program created explicitly to experience sexual pleasure is necessary, and opening one up and tugging on internal components is a more extreme and risky option, but allegedly potentially very pleasurable.” 

“That is fascinating,” said V1KTU$. “Even within the scope of, er, robot fucking, the origins and motivations for sexual behavior are complex. I could see how such things might take a prominent place in organic culture.” He paused. “I have… a strange question.”

“I may have an answer?” I offered. 

“Do… synthetics ever mate with one another? I have never heard of it occurring on Tekina, but for those who have become accustomed to organic culture… do they?” asked V1KTU$ hesitantly. 

I nodded. “They totally do! And many prefer it over sex with organics.”

V1KTU$’s expression became troubled. “Surely they don't do that on Tekina… Right?”

I shrugged. “I wouldn't know, but if anybody leaves there and then goes back, I'd say it's likely. Wire play, the sexual act involving manipulation of internal components, is very popular among synthetic couples. I'd imagine it would be easy to explain away as an impromptu repair if they were caught in the act by someone who didn't know better.”

V1KTU$’s eyes widened. “... No. No! No, it can't be!”

“What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I… may have witnessed such a thing, on a few occasions,” murmured V1KTU$. “One synthetic with their hands inside another's chassis, nowhere near a repair shop, with no tools… claiming to be performing a minor repair.” He looked up at me, eyes wide in horror. “You're telling me I… I walked in on sex?!”

“It's not impossible that was the case!” I said, shrugging. 

“Oh… oh no,” murmured V1KTU$. “Y-you organics! You've poisoned their minds, how dare you!”

I gave V1KTU$ a flat look. “V1KTU$. You are in bed with me right now, immediately after I got you off. Is it only okay when you do it?”

V1KTU$ blushed and looked away. “It's… not okay when I do it, either. I am engaging in mindless hedonism like everyone else here, and it is well received by the masses. But as an individual, what I have been doing simultaneously disgusts and excites me. I shouldn't be doing this, it is illogical, I am lacking in restraint, and it is driving me insane. Indulging in this organic perversion, despite knowing synthetics are superior! Disgraceful behavior.” 

“Seems like you are immune to neither the allure of the taboo nor sexual guilt,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. “Both of those things are pretty normal, for whatever that's worth.”

“I am not sure whether that makes me feel better or worse,” said V1KTU$ flatly. 

“If tons of other synthetics are doing this sort of stuff and just going on with their lives, which they are, is it really that bad?” I asked. “It's harmless. Even if they're doing it on Tekina, has it caused the collapse of society there? You hadn't even heard of it until now. I know you've effectively been having an existential crisis over this since we first hooked up, but is it worth feeling guilty about it on top of everything?” 

There was a brief silence. 

“If synthetics have been indulging in sex on Tekina proper all this time, how did I not know about it?” asked V1KTU$, his voice softening slightly. “I'm 120 years old, and the times I've witnessed what could have been, er… wire play, have been spread over the course of multiple decades. Why did no one tell me about this?”

“If someone had told you back then, how would you have reacted? Would you have been disgusted? Would you have reported it to someone?” I asked. 

V1KTU$ looked away. “... Yes, and probably, respectively.” 

I shrugged. “Anyone who knew about it probably thought it wasn't worth the risk just to tell you about it, and you didn't seem like you'd be receptive if they actually wanted to do it with you, so there was no point in doing so. Er… I'm obviously making some big assumptions there, but that's my best guess.”

“I suppose that is a reasonable assumption,” murmured V1KTU$. “But for me to take this long to learn of it? How ridiculous.” 

I side-eyed V1KTU$. “You were stagnating on Tekina, right? You came here because staying there wasn't getting you any closer to the Silicon Throne.”

“That is correct,” confirmed V1KTU$. 

“Well, you're not on the throne just yet, but you're not stagnating anymore,” I observed. “Change is good, and it's happening quickly, for better or worse. You're learning new things every day.” I paused. “I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but you came here for change, and you're getting it.” 

“I didn't come here to change. I wanted to just be as I was, but with more power,” muttered V1KTU$. “That said, it was shortsighted to assume that was possible. Change is necessary to acquire that power, and I learned that quickly. However, many changes I've experienced seem… extraneous.”

I shrugged. “Getting weirder makes you more interesting, which draws more attention, which is exactly what you need here. So, like…” I trailed off. “No. You know what. I know our first time having sex was for the sake of you showing off, but that's not why we kept at it, is it?”

“We kept doing it because I enjoyed it,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. 

“Yeah, thought so. When you… asked for a relationship, was that for publicity purposes?” I asked. 

“No! No,” said V1KTU$, gesturing frantically. “I asked because I like you, and I was curious about what it would be like.” He paused. “It is convenient that sex and romance also appeal to the masses, and it was… fun, flaunting our relationship on our date. B-but I kept thinking about how much I wanted to just come back here with you and mate in private.”

I grinned. “The feeling was mutual. It took all of my self-control to resist going any further when we were in the park, I wanted it so bad… I wanted you so bad.”

V1KTU$ blushed. “W-well! I've cooled down, if you're ready for me to touch you again.” 

“I am so ready for you to touch me again,” I purred. I leaned in and kissed V1KTU$ hard. 

Grinning, V1KTU$ rubbed my thigh teasingly, stopping just short of my crotch. 

I squirmed impatiently. “C'mon. I'm still worked up from earlier. J-just touch it!”

V1KTU$ chuckled, and traced his fingers up my thigh, yet again stopping just short. He involved his other hand and repeated the movement several times on both sides, drawing frustrated moans from me each time he got close and backed off. 

“Pleeease?” I moaned. 

“Oho, hearing you beg is a new one,” said V1KTU$ smugly. “Well, since you asked so nicely…” He slid one hand up to my crotch and rubbed my cock slowly through my damp underwear. 

“Fffuck,” I breathed, leaning into his touch. “Nngh… V1KTU$?”

“Yes, Rupert?” murmured V1KTU$. 

“I-I want something inside me,” I moaned. 

“I thought you were taking a break from penetration?” asked V1KTU$. 

I chuckled. “Break is over. Finger fuck me.”

“Gladly!” said V1KTU$. He grabbed the bottle of lube on his nightstand and rubbed a generous glob onto his fingers. 

We shifted around on the bed, and I sat between V1KTU$’s legs with his body against my back. 

I removed my underwear, revealing my hard cock and drooling hole. 

V1KTU$ slid his hand down my vulva, giving my cock a brief squeeze before sliding a finger into my hole. 

Gasping, I squeezed his finger eagerly. 

“Wow! It's warm in there,” remarked V1KTU$. 

“Mmnf… I-I would hope so,” I moaned. 

V1KTU$ bent his finger and stroked my G-spot diligently. His other hand slowly rubbed my cock. 

“Ffffuck, that feels good,” I gasped. “C-can you add a second finger?”

“Gladly!” said V1KTU$, slipping another finger into my hole. 

I moaned deeply and gripped the sheets, as V1KTU$’s hands worked my cock and hole. “Nngh… this is something you learned from that… mmf… download, right?”

“It is,” confirmed V1KTU$. “Is that acceptable?” 

“Mmmnf… Yeah, that's fine! It feels great,” I assured him. “Aaah… Mmmf… I'm getting close.”

“I can tell! Your body gets all tense. It is simultaneously fascinating and exciting!” said V1KTU$. “I… I really like being wrapped around you like this when you come. The way your body flexes against mine… and I can feel the vibration of your moans. It is delightful!” 

I clutched the sheets frantically, as though I were trying to avoid physically flying away, as my excitement rose to dizzying heights. I hit the tipping point, and my orgasm crashed into me hard, leaving me seeing stars. “Aaah! V-V1KTU$! O-ohhh, V1KTU$!” Squirt sprayed across the bed, as my boyfriend's fingers were forced out by the contractions of my hole. 

V1KTU$ held me close as I thrashed around. 

As my climax subsided, I laid against V1KTU$, sweaty and panting from exertion. 

“That thing where you said my name… that was very exciting to me,” murmured V1KTU$. “What was the meaning?” 

“Because it's hot?” I offered. “There are lots of reasons to call out a partner's name. Passion is just one more of them… and it's hot. Mmh… keep touching me, but just rub my cock. I'm gonna keep coming, and I want it to be fun for at least a while.”

V1KTU$ obliged, lubing his fingers again before getting back to work stroking my cock. His other arm curled around my body, holding me close. 

After not too long, I came again, twisting the sheets in my fingers and biting my lip. “Nnngh! V1KTU$! Aah!” I squirted a second time, but with substantially less volume. 

V1KTU$ pulled me closer as my body spasmed. “Th-that's so hot! Wow!” 

“Keep going,” I gasped. 

V1KTU$ obeyed eagerly, pleasuring me through several more orgasms before I asked him to stop. 

“Ugh…. Ah… here comes the part where it's not as fun,” I groaned. “I don't know how long I'm going to be stuck like this.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” assured V1KTU$. Keeping one arm around my body, he held my hand with the other. 

Many uncomfortable orgasms later, I sat in a puddle of squirt, mercifully done climaxing. I laid back against V1KTU$, exhausted and sticky. 

“You're done?” asked V1KTU$, both arms around my body. 

“Yeah, finally,” I gasped. 

“I counted 47,” said V1KTU$ helpfully. 

I chuckled. “Thanks for keeping track, that's wild.”

“No problem! It is fascinating,” said V1KTU$. “This phenomenon is unusual for your species, correct?” 

“Correct,” I confirmed. 

V1KTU$ eyed me curiously. “Do you think there is a cause for this abnormality?” 

“Probably because I'm trans,” I said, shrugging. “Multiple orgasms are uncommon in males of my species, but relatively common in females. The combination of testosterone and being assigned female at birth means that I have an increased sexual response from the testosterone, while being physically structured in a way that makes multiple orgasms easier, and I guess that has some interesting results.”

“Fascinating! Those files I downloaded gave me a general understanding of testosterone therapy, but it seems like the intricacies of how it affects people are very individual,” said V1KTU$. “The gist was that it usually makes sex better, though evidently the same is said of transfeminine individuals taking estrogen.” 

I chuckled. “Yeah, it turns out that running on the right sex hormones usually makes sex more enjoyable. Testosterone is really something, though! Before HRT, my orgasms had been cut in half by a medication I only took for a few weeks. Like, I'd have half an orgasm, and then it would just stop. Awful. But it didn't take long for testosterone to power through that, and now I have spectacular orgasms. I come easily, and I come hard. It's awesome!” I paused. “Mind if we lie down? Like, not in the puddle.”

“I do not mind. I would also like to be out of the puddle,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. 

We shifted around, lying down on a drier spot on the bed. 

“I must confess that I am curious about your transition,” said V1KTU$. “I do not doubt it was worth it, but I understand it to be a major life change, and not without its tribulations.”

I nodded. “It was absolutely worth it, but yeah. I came out over a decade ago, and it really felt like my life was over. There was so much to deal with, between physical, social, and legal transition, not to mention sorting out my feelings around it and dealing with the way other people reacted to my transition. I had to let go of the idea of being someone who didn't need to deal with all of that… I'm not saying my life was really simple before I realized I was trans, but it became infinitely more complicated. I had another reason for people to arbitrarily hate me. It was… a lot, all at once.”

“Sounds stressful, though I suppose that is an understatement,” said V1KTU$. 

I cackled. “Yeah. Yeah, it was. It still is, but not how it used to be. Turns out that the people who are mean to me because I’m trans are usually the same people who are mean to be for other reasons. All in all, it was the end of the world, but it was also the beginning. It was like I took my identity and body apart, and built myself into something new. Something better. Something stranger. Something stronger, and yet more vulnerable. I wouldn't have it any other way.” I paused. “Uhh. If you were just curious about my physical transition, I've been on testosterone for over a decade, I had top surgery about five years ago, and I had a hysterectomy a couple of years or so later. I want bottom surgery, but the stars haven't aligned in a way that allows that to happen just yet.”

“I was curious about both your physical transition and your experience,” said V1KTU$. “The download indicated there was a lot to know, but also that many relevant questions are delicate. Thank you for telling me as much as you have.”

“Well, thank you for asking,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. “I’m complicated. I'm glad you have an interest in learning more about me.” 

Chapter Text

“I really have no idea how to handle the situation with Kinni,” I said, sighing. I examined my still-damp skinny jeans disdainfully. “Ugh… it seems counterproductive to put these on again after showering, but I don't have a choice. I didn't bring anything to change into.” 

“Maybe AG will have advice for you?” suggested V1KTU$. “If nothing else, he should know what to do publicly.” 

I grimaced. “I dunno, that guy scares me. He just… I don't know, I always feel like I'm fighting for my life even if the conversation is totally calm.” 

“Understandable… but do you have a better idea?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

I shrugged. “I mean… Not really. Okay, fine.”

–

“Hey, you'll be okay. You've got this,” reassured V1KTU$. 

“I guess so! Here goes nothing,” I murmured. I approached The Butthole, steeled my nerves, and plunged my head in. 

“Hello, Rupert! How can I help you?” asked AI-Gent. 

“Well, I wanted to ask about-” I started. 

“Ah, before we move on to that,” interrupted AI-Gent, “I wanted to congratulate you on your date. Well done! You're all over the most sensational, gossipy news sources, and you're causing quite a splash, especially among, ahem… robot enthusiasts. Opinions are heavily mixed among synthetics, but that's to be expected. The important thing is everyone is talking about it! All publicity is good publicity.”

“Er, thank you,” I said. “It was fun! I'm glad it stirred up the publicity you were hoping for.”

“Interesting angle you went with,” said AI-Gent. “Whose idea was that? Kinni's?”

I tried to shake my head, but was immobilized by The Butthole. “Nah, it was Leetah, actually! If it was Kinni, we probably would have been… a bit bolder.”

“Of course, that's true,” said AI-Gent. 

“Speaking of Kinni…” I trailed off. 

“What about him?” asked AI-Gent, examining his nails casually, presumably seeing nothing interesting through his white gloves. 

I narrowed my eyes. “You wouldn't happen to know what his deal is right now, would you?”

AI-Gent grinned, baring his sharp teeth. “I don't know what you're talking about,” he said, his tone one of mock innocence. 

“Claiming he was previously interested in a relationship with me,” I said flatly. “I'm not sure if I believe him, but maybe you could shed some light on the subject.”

“Ohhhh, that!” said AI-Gent, gesturing dismissively. “Well. You remember what I told you when I hired you, right?” 

–

Not very long ago… 

–

“So, you wanted to talk to me in person. I… don't think we've actually spoken before. What's up?” I asked. 

“Thanks for coming,” said AI-Gent, his voice saccharine. “We haven't seen you in a little while, is everything all right?”

“Uhh, y-yeah, I've just been… busy,” I said, smiling unconvincingly. 

“Ohh, that's too bad. Busy at work?” asked AI-Gent. 

“M-more or less, yeah,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. 

AI-Gent nodded knowingly. “I see, I see. Well, we miss you here! As such, I have a little offer for you.” 

“Err. W-what kind of offer?” I asked, shifting uncomfortably.

“Hey now, settle down. I don't bite, okay?” said AI-Gent, baring his teeth in a predatory grin. “It's nothing bad. I just wanted to offer you a job. A temporary position, of course, due to the nature of the show. But I'm sure you could take some time off from your retail position to accommodate… I'll make sure of it.” 

“And what would that job be?” I asked. 

“How would you like to be a professional GodsTV groupie?” asked AI-Gent.

I raised an eyebrow. “I'm listening. What would that consist of?” 

“I am so glad you asked!” said AI-Gent. “It's very simple. You just show up here, and hang out with the Contenders for a while. I've noticed that you seem to prefer Kinni's company, but I'd like you to interact with the others as well. Now, I know the implications of the term groupie, but you don't actually have to sleep with anyone. You can, but you don't have to. I just want you to spend time with them. Just a nobody hanging around with a bunch of somebodys, you know? How does that sound to you?”

I thought for a moment. “Appealing, but I gotta know about the hours, pay, benefits… you know, the usual. Since it's a job and all.”

AI-Gent grinned again. “Good. I'd like you to come in at least five days a week, and stay for at least four hours each time. Pay is very generous… I will work out the details with you if you are interested, but the more time you spend here, the more you get, of course. You will get full benefits, including medical, dental, and vision. We will also provide you with transportation to and from work, and we will feed you while you are here.” He paused, and his expression softened to a sympathetic one. “Listen. I don't know what you really have going on, but we miss you here, and we'd like to see a lot more of you. What do you say?” 

“Well… all right,” I said, trying to nod before I remembered The Butthole around my neck. “I'm gonna go for it!” 

AI-Gent's unsettling grin returned. “Excellent! Let's iron out the details, shall we?” 

–

“You said a lot of things,” I said flatly. “Can you be more specific?” 

“When I said we missed you… what I meant is that Kinni mentioned offhand some time after your little romp that he was disappointed that you had disappeared afterward,” said AI-Gent. “He didn't say much about it beyond that, but I saw an opportunity for something sensational. It was win-win, really… either our resident horn dog gets a regular plaything, or even better, we stir up a little jealousy among the Contenders. I did a little background check on you first, and liked what I saw. Why would I pass up that kind of opportunity?”

“That… I… huh. I don't know how I feel about that,” I said, eyeing the smug AI uneasily. 

AI-Gent cackled. “I've gotta say, I was a little surprised you ended up with V1KTU$ M4X! If not Kinni, I was more expecting Leetah.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Leetah? Why her? I am just barely interested in women at all.”

“Your dating history says otherwise,” said AI-Gent flatly. “And you two are the same species, too. I don't think it would have been much of a stretch!”

“You looked into my dating history?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“We were thorough in that background check,” said AI-Gent matter-of-factly. “Of course, your digital footprint suggested that V1KTU$ M4X might interest you… We were very thorough. However, I did not anticipate him reciprocating.”

“You and me, both,” I murmured. 

“Your penchant for PDA was also encouraging, by the way,” said AI-Gent. “In the event you were to get involved with Kinni, it would have been advantageous for you to be inclined to indulge his, ahem, whims, wherever and whenever.” 

Both of my eyebrows went up. “You found out about that too?” 

“We may have bordered on invasive during your background check,” said AI-Gent, gesturing dismissively. “Interviews with acquaintances and whatnot. Don't worry, though, we were very discreet about it!” 

“I'm not really sure if I'm okay with all of that,” I said uneasily. 

AI-Gent grinned. “Oh yeah? And what are you planning to do about that? Quit?” 

“No,” I said flatly. “Probably, uh… probably nothing.”

“That's what I thought,” said AI-Gent, his grin widening. “Don't forget that you're just another nobody, all things considered. Banging a star won't change that. You're replaceable.” 

I averted my eyes. “Yeah, I guess, but do you need to be a dick about it?” 

AI-Gent cackled maniacally for a bit, then cleared his throat. “Ahem. Perhaps not, but let's just say you're best off not forgetting your place, hm?” 

I sighed. “Fair enough. So… what do you suggest I do about the Kinni situation?” 

AI-Gent tapped his finger to his lower lip thoughtfully. “Well. Later tonight, there will be some reporters stopping by to collect comments on your relationship from the Contenders, V1KTU$ included. I have encouraged Kinni to be dramatic about it. If you want any amount of control over how he goes about that, if I were you, I'd talk to him about it.”

I winced. “Oh… There are so many things I'd rather do than that, and not all of those things are pleasant.”

“Better make peace with that quick, then!” said AI-Gent, smirking. “You've got just under two hours before they show up. Good luck!”

I sighed, then extracted my head from The Butthole. 

“How did it go? What did he say?” asked V1KTU$. 

“There are reporters showing up in less than two hours to talk to everyone about our relationship,” I said, pulling my hand down my face. “And I need to talk to Kinni about what he's gonna say, because AG wants him to make a big deal of it.” 

“Oh! Uhh, that sounds… less than ideal,” observed V1KTU$. 

Leetah walked over. “Hey, have you guys seen-” she started. “Hold up. Did you wet your pants?” 

“I squirted in them,” I explained. “If I was planning to pee my pants, I would have brought another pair to change into.”

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Uhhh. Intent did not factor into that question, but okay. I now have several more questions, but I don't think I want answers to any of them.” She turned to V1KTU$. “Ahem. And what happened to you? You look like hell.” 

“He came too hard,” I offered.

“H-hey!” objected V1KTU$. “That's… more or less accurate, but perhaps she didn't need to know about it.”

“Huh! All right, now I'm actually kinda jealous,” said Leetah playfully. “By the way, I saw the photos from your date. Looked like you two had a good time! I mean, minus the crying, but apparently you started feeling each other up again immediately after, so…”

“Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes,” I confirmed. “We had a great time!” 

Leetah grinned. “Good! And good job not getting caught full-on fucking in public.”

“That's easy to manage when you don't full-on fuck in public,” I said, shrugging. 

“Yeah, I figured you guys didn't have the skill to actually hide that,” said Leetah flatly. “Kudos on your restraint!” She eyed my pants. “There are reporters coming. You can't just walk around in squirt pants with them here!” 

“I didn't bring anything to change into,” I reiterated. “I'm not sure what to do about that.” 

Leetah put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. “Hmm… we do have a washer and dryer here. I think you have enough time to run a load before they get here.”

“I think I'll do that, thanks,” I said, nodding appreciatively. “What am I gonna wear while they're in the wash, though? My underwear needs to be washed, too.” 

“Actually, a guy I hooked up with a while ago left his boxers in my room. I washed ’em and stashed ’em in a drawer just in case he came back for them because they're nice ones, but he never did. They should fit you, I'll go grab them,” said Leetah. “If you don't mind walking around in your underwear, of course.”

I nodded. “Thanks, I'll take you up on that!” 

–

“What are the odds these would be those classic heart patterned boxers?” I asked, tugging at the borrowed underwear. 

“I am unfamiliar with the reference,” said V1KTU$, leaning against the washing machine. 

I shrugged. “I've just seen them in a lot of cartoons and stuff, that’s all.”

Kinni shuffled into the laundry room awkwardly. “Er. Hello.”

“Hello,” I said flatly. “Any idea what you're going to say to the reporters?”

Kinni shook his head and sighed. “AG wants me to make a big deal of it, but I… don't really want to do that. It's just uncomfortable, I don't particularly want to mention it at all.”

“I… might have an idea,” I said slowly. 

“Well, I'm all ears!” said Kinni. 

“Maybe we could pretend you two fought over me?” I suggested. “I figure it doesn't have to actually be true, it just has to be entertaining, right?” 

Kinni rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, that just might work.” 

“I'm not sure if I follow,” said V1KTU$. “Is fighting over you a good thing?” 

I nodded. “It makes us all look better. It makes you look better because you won, Kinni looks better because it implies that he actually made an effort, and it makes me look better because it makes me look more desirable. And it makes AG happy because we can make it dramatic.”

“Hmm, I certainly do like winning, and a romantic triumph over Kinni does sound like quite a feat!” said V1KTU$, putting his hands on his hips. 

“Well, I don't much care for losing, but I like it better than the truth in this situation,” said Kinni thoughtfully. 

“If they ask why I picked V1KTU$, what should I say?” I asked, scratching my head. “I mean, there's a lot to like about you, V1KTU$, but there was no actual contest.”

“Synthetic supremacy?” suggested V1KTU$, raising a finger. 

I nodded. “Sure! That works, and I bet it'll go over better with other synthetics.” 

Kinni scratched his head. “That also makes it sound like something I can't actually help, so I'm on board with that one, too.”

“It's better than the truth, which is that V1KTU$ went way out of his comfort zone for me, while you… did what you usually do, and then never followed up or mentioned in any way that you wanted more,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. 

Kinni sighed deeply. “Yeah… I don't really have anything to say to that.”

“If we had actually competed for your affection, which of us would you have chosen?” asked V1KTU$. “Theoretically speaking, of course.”

“Even if I was actively interested in both of you… probably still you, unless you somehow fumbled it majorly,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. “It would have been interesting to see your attempts at courtship, I think I would have found them endearing. I… have no idea what Kinni would have come up with, though.”

“Is this really necessary?” asked Kinni, his voice strained. “Do you really have to keep rubbing it in?” 

“Probably not, but I just…” I trailed off, then sighed. “I'm mad. I feel insulted. I know I wasn't even supposed to hear that conversation, but it still stung.” I paused, then looked up at Kinni, my head tilted to the side. “Kinni… when I first came to this place, I came here for you. I did so knowing full well that all you would be likely to want is a hookup, but hoping for more than that. It was foolish, to the point of bordering on delusional. But to hear that it could have actually happened, if you'd actually said something… I was good enough to want, but not good enough to do anything about it. I deserve better than lukewarm interest.” 

Kinni nodded understandingly. “That's… a fair assessment, and I'm sorry. You deserve better than lukewarm interest, as you put it… and you got it, no thanks to me. V1KTU$ is crazy about you, and I'm happy for you both, genuinely.”

“Thank you for the apology,” I said softly. 

There was a brief silence. 

“So… we know what we're telling the reporters, then?” I asked awkwardly. 

V1KTU$ nodded. “I do believe so!” 

“Yeah, yeah we do,” said Kinni firmly. 

–

“So, you're saying there was actually a bit of competition between you and V1KTU$ M4X for his date?” asked the reporter, offering Kinni the microphone. 

“Oh yeah, absolutely!” said Kinni. “That Rupert guy is a cutie. I did my best, but I just couldn't match that robot rizz this time. I'd like to say I took the loss gracefully, but let's just say that's not entirely accurate.” 

“I see, I see,” said the reporter. “With all due respect, Kinni, you're not exactly known for commitment. What made this different?”

Kinni winced. “Uhhh. Well, Rupert just has, uh… a certain air of sincerity and kindness to him, yanno? He's special. That's worth fighting for.”

-

“Kinni was certainly a worthy opponent, but even in matters of romance, he was no match for a sophisticated synthetic like myself!” said V1KTU$ proudly. 

“As it should be!” said the reporter droid. “But the question on everyone's mind is, why do you want this? Why pursue a relationship with an organic?” The camera embedded in her shoulder visibly zoomed in. 

“Uhhh,” stammered V1KTU$. “Y-you see! It is to prove a point! Synthetics can do anything organics can do… but better! And what could be a better example than romance? Organics take such pride in romantic relationships as what separates them from us, but already I am beating them at their own game, you see? Through my superiority in competitive courtship, I have procured a boyfriend! And I will be so good at having a boyfriend! Yes, it shall be legendary! Mark my words, organics will have such envy at my boyfriend having skills!” 

-

“So, how did you choose?” asked the reporter. 

I smiled sheepishly. “Well, they're both great guys, don't get me wrong. But only one of them has that sexy metal body, yanno?”

The reporter chuckled. “The Bulge doesn't appeal to you?” 

I shrugged. “I enjoy a big dick as much as the next pervert. But when it comes to partners, I like my men how I like my microwaves.”

“I'm… not sure if I follow,” said the reporter awkwardly. 

“Without genitals,” I said matter-of-factly. “But still fuckable, if you know what you're doing,” I added. 

-

“It was outrageously entertaining watching it all go down, actually,” said Leetah. “Neither V1KTU$ nor Kinni had any idea what they were doing.”

“Can you tell us a little more about that?” asked the reporter. 

“Oh boy, can I!” said Leetah, grinning. “V1KTU$ had zero frame of reference for anything romance related, so he was just… looking stuff up, and trying to follow the advice, but it didn't always land right. Kinni, meanwhile, is used to flirting just enough to get someone in bed with him, so he tried just… turning that up to 11, which eventually devolved into strutting around like a peacock and flexing his muscles.”

“Wow. How did that go over with, uh…” the reporter trailed off. 

“Rupert?” offered Leetah. “He was a good sport about it. He seemed to get a kick out of Kinni's flexing, but mostly in the sense that he thought it was funny. I bet Rupert is gonna say that he chose V1KTU$ because he's hotter, but really I think he just found his approach more endearing.”

-

“Nah, I didn't get involved, I value my peace,” said Pepperishi. 

“A sound decision, I'm sure,” said the reporter. “Any other comments on V1KTU$ M4X's new partner?”

Pepperishi shrugged. “Can't say I've talked to the guy much myself, but the other Contenders seem to like him.” 

Chapter Text

“Hey, Kinni,” I said, walking over. 

“Hey, Rupert. What's up?” asked Kinni. 

“I just wanted to apologize for completely flipping out on you,” I murmured. 

Kinni shook his head. “Nothing to apologize for. You were angry for a good reason.”

“Maybe, but calling you a coward was out of line,” I said. “You're not a coward. I know full well you're not.” 

“I'm not a coward, no, but the way I handled that situation was cowardly,” said Kinni. “The truth is, I felt how I felt, but I was never going to say anything on my own. If you had asked me out, I would have accepted immediately, but there was no way you could have known that.”

I sighed. “I'll freely admit I'm not above chasing a potential relationship, but I need enough to go by to delude myself into thinking I have a shot. And as far as I was concerned, I did already shoot my shot and fumbled it, and you never indicated otherwise.”

“Oh yeah, I know, that was on me,” said Kinni, gesturing defensively. “I'm just clarifying. There is no way you would have known, I didn't communicate anything. I wasn't expecting you to do anything, either. I have crushes… and the vast majority of the time, I do nothing about it. Nothing romantically, anyway. Hookups, though? Yeah.”

“I get crushes on friends from time to time, and then freak out about it until I can't deal with it anymore and then confess my feelings,” I said. “And then most of the time, they turn me down, and I get over it. That whole process actually used to consistently result in relationships, but not anymore… which I guess is fine, but it's discouraging.” I paused. “Anyway, I'm accustomed to initiating, whether or not it accomplishes anything.” 

Kinni nodded knowingly. “I was a little surprised when you asked for sex. I mean, I could tell you were interested, but you seemed really skittish, and I didn't want to scare you off by pushing it. Like a stray cat… but with sex instead of treats or something.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, that's an accurate assessment. I was actually a little taken aback when V1KTU$ offered to have sex with me, but I was, like… actively horny at the time, and basically at a breaking point in my crush on him. But that basically never happens… I don't know if it's that skittish stray cat vibe you mentioned, or because I'm usually more forward than the people I'm interested in. Probably a little bit of both.” 

“Heh, that tracks,” said Kinni. 

“Speaking of V1KTU$, what did you mean when you said he's crazy about me?” I asked. 

Kinni did a double take. “Is that a serious question, or are ya just pulling my leg?” 

“I'm serious,” I confirmed. 

Kinni raised an eyebrow. “In what dimension is it not painfully obvious that little robot is absolutely smitten with you?”

“The same dimension in which everyone hates me and finds me annoying unless proven otherwise, my only worth to other people is what I can do for them and what they can take from me, and anyone can be assumed to be angry at me if they're not noticeably pleased,” I said, my expression deadpan. I paused. “That was tongue in cheek… but I am not necessarily grounded in collective reality, and I need an outside perspective, please and thank you.”

A look of deep concern crossed Kinni's face. “Are you… okay?”

“Not really, but thanks for asking!” I said cheerfully. “Are you going to answer the question? I know he's like, horny about me, but like…”

Kinni sighed. “All right, I gotcha. Hmm… I'm gonna start by going over stuff that you and I have explicitly discussed.”

“By all means!” I said, nodding. 

“Well, as you pointed out very emphatically, V1KTU$ has gone way out of his comfort zone for you,” said Kinni. “He learned about sex because he thought you'd like it if he had sex with you. He didn't know if he'd like it, but he wanted to do that for you. And even before that, he seemed to really enjoy your presence, even if it wasn't obvious to you.”

“... Fair point,” I acknowledged. 

“I know for sure he initiated for sex… but didn't he also ask for a relationship?” asked Kinni. 

“That he did,” I confirmed. 

Kinni raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think he would have even considered that if he wasn't really into you? Especially given that it was completely out of his realm of experience.”

I shrugged. “Well, no. I guess not.” 

“And of course, I have no idea what you two talk about in private, but surely you two have talked about your feelings at least sometimes,” said Kinni. 

“Quite a bit, yeah,” I confirmed. 

Kinni sighed. “You're really not giving him enough credit here. From the outside, it pretty unambiguously looks like he's head-over-heels for you. I don't know if V1KTU$ himself would recognize it as that, nor do I want to make any assumptions about a four-letter word starting with the letter ‘L’, but he's very attached to you, and it's unfair to insist that's not the case.”

“Yeah… yeah, that makes sense,” I said thoughtfully. “About that four-letter word, though… how do I know if… I mean. I've heard synthetics can feel love, but like.” 

Kinni shrugged. “Unfortunately, not my wheelhouse. You might have better luck asking Leetah about that.”

“I'll do just that,” I said, nodding. “Before I go… are we cool? Like. I know things didn't work out, but are you gonna be normal about it? I really appreciate you as a friend.”

“Oh yeah, we're cool! I'm not dwelling on it,” said Kinni. “I'm glad we're still friends.”

–

“All right, I'm gonna absolutely blow your mind with some advice here,” said Leetah. 

“Let's hear it!” I said. 

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Just… fuckin’... ask him? Like… it's not rocket surgery, buddy, just communicate with your partner, it's really that simple. Respectfully, you guys are a couple of weirdos, but it seems like you're on the same wavelength. It'll be fine.”

“That's… sensible,” I murmured. 

Leetah cackled. “Didn't you tell me you have like ten exes? Is that why they're exes?” 

“15, and no, my brain just isn't working great right now,” I said flatly. 

“Well, happy to help!” said Leetah, grinning. “Go have a little heart-to-heart with your boyfriend.” 

V1KTU$ ran over. “Rupert!” 

“Ah, speak of the devil!” said Leetah. 

“What's up, V1KTU$?” I asked. 

V1KTU$ grabbed my hand. “I would like to talk about something! It is important.” 

“Ha! I knew it! You've graduated to literally just dragging him off for sex!” said Leetah, pointing an accusatory finger in V1KTU$’s direction. 

“It is not for sex!” said V1KTU$ indignantly, shaking a fist. He paused. “W-well. Maybe sex after the conversation. But still!”

Leetah snort-laughed. “You go have fun, boys.”

–

“What's up? Is everything okay?” I asked. 

“So, I have been doing more research, and it turns out that a necessary component of a healthy relationship is love,” said V1KTU$. 

My heart sank, but I tried not to show my distress. “Generally, yeah. And?” 

“I-I cannot identify that emotion, if I am experiencing it! I want to be a good boyfriend, what if I am not feeling the correct emotions?” asked V1KTU$, visibly distressed. “It seems to be another one of those concepts that does not have a solid definition, so I just… well. You had an answer for what sexual attraction means, so I thought I would ask you. After all, since it is you I would be loving, the definition that matters is the one you would use, right?” 

I inhaled, then exhaled slowly. “Okay. First of all, don't panic! Second, that last sentence is really romantic and sweet, so thank you for that. And third… have you experienced hate?”

“I have, yes,” said V1KTU$, nodding. “But hate is not love, is it?” 

“It is not,” I confirmed. “But you know that feeling of passion, to the point that it impacts your judgment?”

V1KTU$ nodded again. “I do. It compounds the frustration of the hatred itself, it is unpleasant to the extent of being a bodily sensation.”

“Good, good,” I said. “Well, hating someone to disliking them is what loving someone is to liking them. It is a positive feeling, but an overwhelming one.”

“Ohhhh,” said V1KTU$, eyes wide. “I do love you, then!” he said matter-of-factly. “Whew! That is a relief on multiple levels. I thought I was malfunctioning!”

“Yeah, it feels like that for organics, too!” I said, nodding knowingly. 

“Fascinating!” said V1KTU$. He paused, then tilted his head to the side. “Do… you love me?”

“I do love you!” I confirmed. “It's… a scary and vulnerable thing to admit, because of how intense it is, especially if you are unsure if it is reciprocated, and feelings take time to really develop. Couples usually wait a bit before expressing it verbally, for those reasons, even if they're pretty sure of their feelings.” 

“Really? What is the acceptable waiting period for such a thing?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged. “Months, apparently, but I don't think I've ever waited that long.”

“Months?! We don't have months,” blurted V1KTU$.

“I know we don't,” I said quietly. “But we do have now, so I'm saying it now. I love you.”

V1KTU$ nodded. “I love you, too.” 

I paused briefly, choosing my words carefully. “Does… it have to end when the show does?”

“I… I don't know,” admitted V1KTU$. “When I win, I will have other priorities. But… if I lose… well. I don't know what would happen to me next. Would I just give up and go back home to Tekina, or would I try something else? Or would the Gods just kill me for good if I fail badly enough? I… don't think that's supposed to happen, but they're… fickle.”

There was a brief, but heavy, silence. 

“There's an invisible timer on every relationship,” I said gently. “Days, weeks, years, decades… whether it's via incompatibility, physical separation, or death, it has to end eventually. And that's fine.” I paused. “I've had a lot of partners, and I'm not one to stick around long after the relationship gets unhealthy. But until it ends, we should enjoy the time we have together.”

V1KTU$ side-eyed me. “Does enjoying our time together include doing sex?” 

I chuckled. “Not exclusively, but yeah. Are you asking to have sex? Like, right now?”

“I am,” confirmed V1KTU$, scooting closer to me. 

Pulling V1KTU$ close, I gave him a smooch right in the middle of his screen. 

V1KTU$ trailed his hand down my torso, bringing it down to my inner thigh. He rubbed it gently, but with intent. 

I moaned softly and spread my legs a bit. I ran my fingertips down the sides of V1KTU$’s head, drawing a moan from him as well. Pulling away, I began to remove my clothes. 

“Yes! Undress, I want to see your naked body again!” said V1KTU$, watching me eagerly and slightly bouncing in his seat on the bed. 

“I am, and you will!” I said, pulling my shirt off. I took my shoes and socks off as well, followed by my pants, leaving me in a pair of soft boxer briefs. 

V1KTU$ reached out and put his hand on my waist. “You are so soft and squishy!” he whispered excitedly. 

“Wanna try something a little different?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Sure!” said V1KTU$, perking up. 

“All right, let's move to the middle of the bed so you'll be okay if you fall over, and you sit between my legs,” I instructed. 

We scrambled into position. 

“Like this?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yep! Now, I'm gonna get started,” I said. “Let me know if it's too much!” 

“Understood!” said V1KTU$.

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around V1KTU$’s head, caressing his screen with both hands. 

“O-oh! Ohh wooow,” moaned V1KTU$. “Aah… oh…”

“You good?” I asked. 

“Yyyyess,” gasped V1KTU$. “Keep going.” 

I dragged the nails of one hand down the side of V1KTU$’s head, my other arm still wrapped around him. 

V1KTU$ moaned and squeaked as I continued to pleasure him. His hands gripped the sheets, clenching and relaxing with each stroke of my hand. 

Still keeping one arm wrapped around V1KTU$, I slipped the fingers of my other hand into his plume. I worked them in as deep as I could, and wiggled them sensually. 

“Aaah… Nnngh… Mmh… Ohhh yessss…” moaned V1KTU$. His cooling fans kicked up, becoming clearly audible. He leaned back against me, shaking. 

I kept at it, caressing his screen and probing his plume. 

V1KTU$ gasped, and his body clicked, then fell limp. He began to fall backwards into me. 

Panicking, I gave him a shove, and he fell forwards onto his face. “I kinda feel like a dick, but that was necessary and expected,” I murmured. 

After a minute or so, V1KTU$’s fans kicked on again, and he sat up. “Ow. Whew! That was great.” He scooted around to face me. 

“How did you like having my arms wrapped around you like that?” I asked. 

“I felt… surrounded? In a good way,” said V1KTU$. “It was intense. I liked it!”

“Glad you liked it!” I said, reaching out and giving his hand a squeeze. “On another note… I'm glad you're my boyfriend. I just… you're really special, and I don't know how I managed to catch your affection, but I'm glad I did.” 

“Well, you are pretty special yourself!” said V1KTU$. “We have discussed at length what drew me to you.”

I nodded. “That we have! I am curious, though… what prompted you to ask for an actual relationship? Both initially, and what you found in your research that confirmed that was what you wanted.”

“Well, initially, I had vague knowledge that pair bonding is often a component of courtship and mating rituals,” said V1KTU$. “But my research suggested that it was extraneous to the mating process and required a level of commitment I did not spend time attempting to understand. But then, I was unsure if multiple matings constituted pair bonding… which led me to consider the concept, though I was hesitant to delve further without confirming interest, lest I come across something I was better off not knowing.”

“Something like what?” I asked. 

V1KTU$ paused before speaking again. “I will back up for a moment… I knew I wanted more you. Not just more mating, though I wanted that, too. It's like… Hmm. I am struggling to describe it. I suppose it's almost like missing a step in your daily routine. Charging yourself, but not taking a moment to remove dust from your exhaust ports before starting your day. There is a discomfort, almost a guilt, in negligence. Not immediately crucial for my daily functioning, but if I continued to neglect the task, the dust would accumulate, and I would have more serious problems.” He paused. “Ah… I am unsure what would be analogous for organics.”

“Forgetting to brush your teeth?” I offered. “That is uncomfortable and causes problems over time if neglected.”

“That sounds close enough!” said V1KTU$. “Well, it felt like that. And I was hesitant to investigate further, and risk exacerbating the feeling without knowing it could be swiftly resolved.”

“You were afraid to understand your feelings but still be rejected, and feel worse than if you hadn't understood them?” I asked. 

V1KTU$ nodded. “Precisely.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Did not knowing help?” 

V1KTU$ let out a laugh that sounded as if he'd been holding his breath, though I knew that was not physically possible. “No. No, it did not. I was confused and afraid. I felt marginally better when you indicated your receptivity, but simultaneously regretted not researching ahead of time. I was afraid that I had fundamentally misunderstood, and it would not actually accomplish what I needed it to.”

“And did it?” I asked. 

“It did!” V1KTU$ confirmed. “The basics of pair bonding as an activity were relatively easy to unearth, but determining if it would satisfy the need I was experiencing was harder. I, er, gave up and asked Kinni.”

“What did Kinni say?” 

“He referred me to Leetah,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “She described a romantic relationship as being like owning someone… but only in the sense that a region you live in belongs to you. In the early stages, it is like how this room belongs to me… it is temporary and conditional, but it is my space to retreat to and do with as I wish.” He paused. “That… was sufficient. I wanted to have you. Finally understanding what it meant, I wanted to be able to retreat to you, as I do to my room. And I do.”

I threw my arms around V1KTU$ and pulled him close. “That's so sweet,” I whispered. “I'm sorry it was such an ordeal, and you suffered so much in the process, but I'm glad you sorted it out. I'm glad we're together.”

“Can I ask you something a little strange?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Always,” I replied. 

V1KTU$ paused briefly before continuing. “Before I asked for a relationship… did you… already want that?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much the entirety of my crush on you, actually. That's what I really wanted, though I was also, uh, really horny about it.”

“A-and you didn't say anything?!” cried V1KTU$. 

“Before you asked to have sex, I didn't think any of my feelings were reciprocated!” I replied, waving my hands defensively. “And after, I didn't know you wanted a relationship. You didn't even know you wanted a relationship at first, may I remind you. Telling you carried the risk of rejection… which also meant risking losing what we did have already.”

“O-oh! Right,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. “Well! We are a couple now, that is what is important. I am relieved to learn that you already desired a relationship.” 

“I definitely did,” I confirmed. “Ugh… having a crush on someone is rough for me, I don't like how I think or feel or behave. Really dreadful. Similar to how you described your emotions, except you have the very valid excuse of them being vastly unfamiliar to you and having no frame of reference. I'm just mentally ill and have poorly regulated emotions. I'm used to it at this point, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel like I'm dying every time the idea of coupling up with someone hits me hard enough to stick. Mercifully, getting turned down when I give it a shot usually shuts it down quickly, but friendships don't always survive that.” 

“Are you… feeling better now?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

“Substantially!” I confirmed. “Still finding things to overthink and freak out about, but I am also getting more comfortable with you, and that helps a lot. How about you?” 

“Still terrified and overwhelmed, but having the time of my life!” said V1KTU$. 

I smiled half-heartedly. “Well! We're on the same page, then. It does get easier though, in my experience, as we get more comfortable with each other. Let me know if there's anything you're struggling with, I'm here for you!” 

V1KTU$ nodded appreciatively. “And I am here for you as well!” 

I gave V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. “Yanno, it's kinda nice taking a little break like this. We can have these very vulnerable conversations after we've already started getting intimate, making us both a little more comfortable and relaxed.”

“Hmm… I consider my recovery time an inconvenience, but I suppose you have a point,” said V1KTU$. “I do feel calmer after shutting off from an overload. I wonder why that is?”

“For organics, it's a hormone thing, but I have no idea about how that would work for you,” I said. 

V1KTU$ thought for a moment. “Hmm. What physically happens post overload is that my sensory programming resets to baseline, so it would stand to reason that would have a calming effect… and that is probably also part of why it feels so satisfying, despite a brief spike in pain.”

“That would make sense!” I agreed. “Your sensory overload orgasms are a bit different from what organics experience, right? I've done a little reading about it, and the mechanism is more or less consistent, but how it actually feels varies a lot, mostly depending on the model. I know some shut off after, and some don't. How does it feel for you?” 

“My research suggests it is actually a resource exhaustion problem compounded by overheating, which seems consistent with what little awareness I have as I reach my limits,” said V1KTU$. “In terms of how it actually feels, I am increasingly overwhelmed by pleasure until it causes me to freeze briefly, then unfreeze and get hit with a lot of sensory data all at once, which is simultaneously very pleasurable and very painful. At that point, processing that data causes me to crash, which triggers a failsafe that shuts me down briefly. When I turn back on, my sensory processing has been reset, and I don't feel much above my baseline sensory awareness.”

“That is so cool,” I said, grinning. 

“Er, thank you,” said V1KTU$. “For organics, it is a heavily mechanical process, correct? A dedicated system for it, with all sorts of nonsense involving blood flow and muscle spasms. Is it painful? It sounds like it would be.”

“It's not supposed to be, but it's possible with some health problems and under certain circumstances,” I said, shrugging. “Mine start getting uncomfortable after a while when I have a whole bunch of them and can't stop. If I've injured myself recently in that area, it can also be painful, like when I… insert something that is too large. Also, before my hysterectomy, I had an IUD, and the contractions of my uterus during orgasm were somewhat painful because of it. It was weird at first, after it was removed, because those contractions were a very distinctive component of my orgasms before. But now, my orgasms feel… cleaner? Clearer? Smoother? I'm not sure how to describe it.” 

“Fascinating indeed!” said V1KTU$. “But what is an IUD? Some sort of injury?”

I shook my head. “Intrauterine device. A little piece of plastic or metal placed in the uterus to prevent pregnancy.” 

“I suppose I knew about organics augmenting themselves for medical purposes, but I must admit I had not put much thought into how it might be used for reproductive reasons. In my research, I came across information about so-called birth control, but disregarded it as not applicable for my purpose. Considering that organics participate in recreational mating, it stands to reason that they might not always intend to reproduce when doing so,” said V1KTU$. “This device you mentioned is placed surgically, I imagine?” 

I shook my head. “It's inserted and removed through the cervix, which is not meant to be penetrated, so it is excruciatingly painful. Still worth it, though, for preventing unintended pregnancies!” 

“Sounds unpleasant,” said V1KTU$. “Though I suspect that is an understatement.”

“It is,” I agreed. “Anyway, I don't have to deal with that anymore because I had the whole damn organ removed.”

“I presume it cannot be replaced?” asked V1KTU$.

I shrugged. “With modern medical technology? Maybe, but the process is risky, unpleasant, and exorbitantly expensive. But I don’t want it to be replaced, I had it removed because I did not, and still do not, want it.”

“It is strange to me that organics cannot easily remove and replace parts of their bodies, but I suppose the complexity and inefficiency of said bodies is what makes such a process so difficult,” said V1KTU$. “Nonetheless, I am glad you were able to have it removed, as desired.”

“The recovery was a pain in the ass, but it was worth it! I still want to -” I started. “... No, I don’t wanna talk about that right now, it’ll just… let’s change the subject.”

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow curiously, but shrugged. “All right. Hmm… what are some normal, inoffensive conversation topics?” He thought for a moment. “Ah! I have one. What is your favorite color?”

“Hot pink and bright blue!” I replied. “I was vehemently opposed to the color pink prior to my transition, but I warmed up to it, as it’s a significant part of the design and preferences of that robot character I cosplayed. It was early in my transition that I encountered him, and I was like… whatever that is, that’s the kind of man I want to be. That’s why I gravitate towards more feminine attire, and colors that are more associated with femininity.”

“There are colors specifically associated with femininity?” asked V1KTU$ incredulously. “Is this due to natural mate selection instincts?”

I chuckled. “It’s a weird cultural thing, one that’s been fizzling out. But part of one’s presentation is the use of symbolism and cultural signals to convey identity. What I choose to convey in my presentation is the subversion of the masculinity expected for men as a cultural norm. It attracts people I like, and confuses and repels people that I don’t like. I do still retain facial hair, a secondary sex characteristic most typical for men, as a signal of my actual personal identity. Emphasizing natural sex characteristics, both primary and secondary, is a strong part of gender presentation. As another example, Kinni has chosen to highlight his primary sex characteristics as part of his presentation, selecting attire that emphasizes his genitals. That’s going well for him… as in his infamous hashtag, freethebulge. Sex sells, et cetera.”

“Tch! So vulgar. But I suppose that makes it easy to sensationalize,” said V1KTU$.

“That it does,” I agreed. 

“I am prepared to continue,” said V1KTU$. “Are you?” 

I nodded. “I am! I actually brought a toy I'd like you to use on me, if you're up for it.” 

“I will do my best!” said V1KTU$. 

“Great! Before we start… are you prepared for me to have a single orgasm that lasts a ridiculous amount of time? We're talking anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour, or possibly longer,” I said. “Same deal as coming repeatedly… it keeps going even after it's fun. It's a spectacular orgasm for a good long while, though.”

V1KTU$ nodded eagerly. “I am looking forward to it! And I will be here to support you.” He paused. “So, different acts and tools cause different types and qualities of orgasms?”

“They do. Some are more different than others,” I confirmed. 

“Fascinating!” said V1KTU$. “Show me your sex tool.”

I nodded, then got up from the bed and rifled through my bag. I extracted a small, black storage case, and carried it over to the bed. Sitting down next to V1KTU$, I opened the box, revealing a shining metal object set into a bed of pink satin. The stainless steel wand was modestly sized compared to many of the other toys in my collection, but its bulbous ends promised a use more precise than a simple girthy dildo. 

V1KTU$’s eyes widened, and he grinned. “Oh! I know how to use that one!” 

“Ah, perfect! There was a lot in that thing you downloaded, huh?” I asked. 

“I installed another one,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. “The reason I did so is evidently because I love you, and I want you to feel good when we do sex.” He paused. “The… correct phrasing is have sex, right? You could have corrected me at any time.”

“I could have, but I think it's cute when you say it like that,” I said, smiling. “And that's really sweet, it means a lot that you did that for me.”

“As novel and exciting as it has been struggling to do something I was never programmed for… I would rather know what I'm doing, and focus on you instead of what I can't do,” said V1KTU$, his expression calm but serious. 

I threw my arms around V1KTU$, and pulled him in for a kiss. “That's hot,” I breathed. “Fuck me.”

“Gladly,” said V1KTU$, grinning deviously. He grabbed the wand and the lube and set them to the side, before getting to work caressing my thighs. 

I moaned and squirmed impatiently, shaking every time his hands neared my crotch. 

V1KTU$ finally slid a hand up to my crotch, fondling it gently. His thumb found my cock and gave it an experimental rub, drawing a moan from me. “Oh my, you are very excited, aren't you?” 

I leaned into his touch. “Mmmf… I am.” 

“Are you ready to be penetrated?” asked V1KTU$, still rubbing my cock gently. 

“Nnnngh! I am,” I gasped. Shakily, I removed my underwear and tossed it across the room.

V1KTU$ lubed up his fingers and slowly rubbed my vulva, before slipping a finger into my hole. 

My hole squeezed V1KTU$’s finger eagerly, silently begging for more. 

Slipping a second finger into my hole, V1KTU$ gently pumped his fingers in and out, making sure I was sufficiently relaxed before moving on to the main event. He grabbed the wand and lubed up the big end. “Ready?” 

“Yessss,” I breathed. “Fuck me with that thing. P-please, I… I need it inside me now.”

“Tch! Be patient!” chided V1KTU$, smirking playfully. Lying down next to me on his side, he propped himself up on one hand and looked down at me. He slipped the wand into my waiting hole. After some adjustment, he managed to find my G-spot with the tip of the wand. “Right here?” 

“Mmmnh… yeeeeaaahh,” I moaned. 

With mechanical precision, V1KTU$ stroked my G-spot with the tip of the wand. As my body shifted, he adjusted to follow. 

As I neared my climax, my hole hugged the toy needily, and I gripped the sheets. “Nmnngh… I'm getting close.” 

“Do you want me to, er, edge you?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Absolutely,” I gasped. “I want this to last longer before - mmmmh - before I come.”

V1KTU$ slowed his movements, easing off a bit. “Ah… you look incredible like this. The involuntary movements of your body, and your facial expression… they excite me.”

“Th-this feels so gooood,” I moaned. “V-V1KTU$... Aah… I love you…” 

“I love you too!” replied V1KTU$. He sped up a bit, waiting for my body to start tensing up, and then slowed down again. He repeated this several times. 

Growing increasingly pent-up, I twisted the sheets in my hands. “Aah… nngh… When I… mmh! After I start coming, I might - mmmnh! I might ask you to keep going.”

“Understood!” said V1KTU$. “Hey, I'm going to, uh. T-try out some dirty talk I learned. It seems apt.” 

“Mmh… go for it!” I gasped. 

V1KTU$ nodded, and picked up the pace with the wand, stroking my G-spot with purpose. 

Feeling my excitement building, I closed my eyes and clung to the bed like my life depended on it. 

When V1KTU$ spoke, his voice was nervous, but passionate and deeply excited. “Ahem… Come for me.”

My eyes shot open, and I obeyed, coming so hard I saw stars. “Aaaanh! V1KTU$! O-ohhh V-V1KTU$!” I squirted across the bed as immense waves of pleasure washed over my body, leaving me breathless. After a strong start, the feeling subsided just enough for me to catch my breath, but still persisted as an undercurrent of euphoria, prompting me to arch my back slightly. 

“That was hot!” cried V1KTU$, eyes wide. 

“It's - nngf! Not over yet,” I moaned. “Fuck me again, I - aanh! I want that wand inside me again!”

“Gladly!” said V1KTU$. He lubed up the wand again before slipping it back into my hole. 

What followed was what V1KTU$ later informed me was a full 27 minutes of absolute bliss and ecstasy, before I asked him to stop. 

“Was that as pleasurable as it looked?” asked V1KTU$, beaming with pride. 

“It was! Good job,” I confirmed, still trying to catch my breath. My body spasmed again, still feeling the rush of my continuing orgasm, but nowhere near as much as I had been just prior. “Nngh… the stimulation is over, but the orgasm is not.”

V1KTU$ eyed me curiously. “Is this similar to your multiple orgasm phenomenon?” 

“Y-yeah,” I gasped, hit by another wave of pleasure. “Except it doesn't actually stop between them. Nnfh… it peaks from time to time, but it's - ah! - all strung together.” 

“Fascinating!” said V1KTU$, reaching over to hold my hand. “I'm staying right here, don't worry.” 

Some time later, he spoke up again. 

“It has been exactly an hour and 30 minutes since your orgasm began,” announced V1KTU$. “Honestly, I would happily watch this for hours, but I feel I have an obligation to ask if you need medical attention.” 

I chuckled. “This is not terribly comfortable, but I'm - ah! - I'm fine. If I lose consciousness or otherwise stop responding, get help, but I should be okay.”

When my orgasm finally fizzled out, I peeled myself off of the sheets, wet with squirt and sweat. 

“Two hours and fourteen minutes,” said V1KTU$ helpfully. “Wow!” 

“Thank you for keeping track. My grasp on the passage of linear time is a tenuous one even when I'm not mid-orgasm,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. 

“How do you feel?” asked V1KTU$

I chuckled. “Exhausted, but thoroughly satisfied. Good job.”

V1KTU$ grinned. “Excellent!” 

“Did I catch you with your fingers in your plume earlier?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking. 

V1KTU$ looked away sheepishly. “Yeah. I couldn't help it, watching you was too exciting not to do something about it. I was, uhh, rather engaged in that activity while I was still pleasuring you, but I didn't let myself heat up too much.” 

“Are you telling me you edged yourself for almost half an hour, and then played with yourself off and on since then?” I asked. 

“I suppose that is what I am saying, yes,” confirmed V1KTU$, blushing. 

“That's hot,” I murmured. “Still pretty worked up?” 

“Y-yes,” whimpered V1KTU$. 

I raised an eyebrow. “Has it been long enough since you last came that it won't cause problems if you do it again?”

“Based on my experimentation on my own… yes,” confirmed V1KTU$. 

“Oh, you've been masturbating? Hot,” I said, grinning deviously. “Hmm. I'm too exhausted and wobbly to get you off again myself… but I'd love to watch you play with yourself to completion.” 

“I, uh. I-it's a little embarrassing, but I suppose!” said V1KTU$. 

I gave his hand a squeeze. “It'll be hot. Who knows, maybe I'll get some ideas for what to do to you next time?” 

“Uhh. Definitely do not get as rough with me as I do with myself,” said V1KTU$, holding his hands up defensively. “It takes more, er, force when I'm on my own, but I know how to do it without damaging myself.” 

“I would love to watch you do that,” I murmured. “You definitely don't have to do it if you're not comfortable with that, but I think it would be hot if you did.” 

“I am uncomfortably aroused. I was going to wait until after you left to do that, but if you're sure you want to see that… you're an audience I trust,” said V1KTU$, shrugging. 

I grinned. “I am very sure.”

V1KTU$ nodded. “Okay, then!” Abruptly, he plunged all eight of his fingers into his plume. He wriggled them vigorously and moaned loudly, the tone unmistakably one of someone pent-up finally having their urges indulged. 

I watched intently, admiring the fervor of his movements. 

Not much later, V1KTU$ escalated to grabbing fistfuls of plume and tugging on them. He gasped and moaned, shaking violently. 

“Oh fuck, that is so hot,” I remarked, leaning in. “Mm… I know I said I was tired, but can I…”

“P-please do!” gasped V1KTU$, pulling his hands back out of his plume. 

I pulled V1KTU$ close and kissed him, one hand wandering to his plume to tease it gently. 

V1KTU$ leaned into my hand eagerly. “P-please! Touch! Touch! Aah! I-I can't take it anymore!”

“Got it!” I said, burying my fingers in V1KTU$’s plume and wiggling them. 

“Ohhhh! Oh my goodness,” moaned V1KTU$. His fans kicked up. 

I gestured for him to lie down. “I don't want you to have to tip over.”

V1KTU$ complied eagerly. 

Straddling V1KTU$, I leaned in to kiss him again and entwined the fingers of both of my hands into his plume. 

Gasping, V1KTU$ let out a soft click and abruptly shut off. 

I flopped down on the bed next to him and put my hand on his, waiting for him to turn back on. 

After a couple of minutes, V1KTU$’s fans started up again, and his screen flickered back on. He sat up groggily. “Oof. That hurt, but it was worth it.”

“Feeling better?” I asked, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze.

“Much better,” said V1KTU$. He laid down next to me again. “That was very pleasurable. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I replied, smiling. 

Chapter Text

“You look tired,” said Kinni. “Had a good time with V1KTU$?” 

“I actually just woke up from a nap, but yeah,” I replied, smirking. 

Kinni chuckled. “He's been strutting around looking smug… which is not at all out of the ordinary for him. But I assume this time, it has something to do with you?”

“That it does, and rightfully so,” I said. 

“What did he do?” asked Kinni. “I know you two are a bit private about your sex life, but I am so curious right now.” 

I chuckled. “I showed him one of my favorite toys. He knew how to use it, and did so with great enthusiasm and competence. Did you suggest his latest download? It was… a good choice.”

Kinni shook his head. “That one was Leetah's suggestion, actually!” 

“Well, I'm glad you've all teamed up to make sure I get fucked right,” I said flatly. I paused. “Genuinely, though. But it's still funny.” 

“It's not much, but it's honest work!” said Kinni, flexing proudly. “Honestly, though, give V1KTU$ credit where credit is due. A robot can download every pack of sexual techniques they can get their hands on, and still be absolute trash in bed because they don't actually care about their partner or said partner's pleasure. You can't download being a thoughtful partner. Giving a shit is not something you can just install.”

“That's good to know,” I said, nodding appreciatively. “I… admit that I was a little concerned about that. Both from the standpoint of how genuine his interest and care is, and from concern about whether he is artificially changing his personality irreparably.” 

“Nah, that's all him! There are viruses that can change a synthetic's personality… but let's just say it's not for the better,” said Kinni grimly. “I'll admit I'm, uhh, surprised to see him set aside his pride in any way. For anyone or anything. Ever. I'm glad he's good to you and enthusiastic about pleasing you, though. When he wants to do something, he takes it very seriously and works hard to achieve it, and I could see that being the case for a relationship.” 

“He's comfortable being vulnerable with me, and that probably counts for something,” I said, shrugging. 

Kinni nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I suppose that could do it!” He paused. “Aside from the sex, how is your relationship going? I see you two sitting around together working on different things, and you look happy, but yanno.” 

“It's going really well. He's a great partner, and I like to think I'm also doing right by him,” I said. I raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?” 

“Just checking in to make sure things are, yanno, balanced and healthy,” said Kinni, shrugging. 

“They are,” I said flatly. “Is this some kind of jealousy thing? I thought you said you were gonna be normal about this.”

Kinni put his hands up defensively. “No! No. I just heard something that worried me a little, that's all.”

I sighed. “Okay. Who's talking shit about us? Surely Leetah has better things to do with her time.”

There was a brief silence. 

“AG told me the real reason you're here,” said Kinni, his tone suddenly serious. 

My heart sunk, but I steeled myself. “Oh. I. Uhh.” I paused briefly before continuing. “Can you tell me exactly what he said about me? Word for word, if you can. I'm no stranger to lying by omission… but he seems to be a professional on the subject.”

“He said you're paid to be here,” said Kinni. “Just mentioned it offhand, like it was trivial. I pressed him for more information, and he said you're a professional groupie.” He paused and looked away, then looked at me again, his expression uneasy. “Why didn't you tell us? Or even just me. You know I wouldn't have judged you for that, right? But now that you're actually dating someone… well. I don't know if you've disclosed it to V1KTU$, but he would probably want to know.” 

I sighed angrily. “That motherfu- ahem. He made it sound a lot worse than it is. Okay, I'll take this from the top.” 

“Please do,” said Kinni, eyeing me suspiciously. 

“Professional groupie is my literal job title, but I first showed up here as just a normal groupie. I was just some guy who was interested in you,” I explained. “After we hooked up and I disappeared for a few days, AG reached out to me and asked me to come in and talk. When I got here, he offered me the job. I didn't even have to fuck anybody, he just wanted me to hang out with you guys.” 

“Oh! Ohhh,” murmured Kinni. “But you could have at least told us, right?”

I shook my head. “I'm getting to that. The contract was mostly normal, but there were parts that were… strange.”

-

Not all that long ago… 

-

“I'm not even allowed to tell them my name?!” I asked incredulously. “I understand not telling them about this being a job, and maybe some of this other stuff, but my name?” 

“No, that's not what it says. It says you're only allowed to tell them those things if at least one of them directly asks you about it,” said AI-Gent casually. “I'm sure that won't take long anyway, so don't worry about it. Just follow the rules, okay?” 

I narrowed my eyes. “If it won't take long anyway, why bother?”

AI-Gent grinned widely, his bared teeth less than reassuring. “Let's call it an experiment.”

“I have… reservations about being experimented on,” I said uneasily. 

“Tch. You're overreacting,” said AI-Gent, rolling his eyes. 

“This is weird. This contract is weird,” I said flatly.

AI-Gent's predatory grin twisted to a scowl. “Look. Do you want the job or not? If you think you'll ever have an opportunity like this again, you're deluding yourself.”

“It sounds fun, but it's not like I'm looking for my big break or any nonsense like that,” I said, attempting to shrug, forgetting the Butthole. “I was on the fence about coming back at all. I'm not interested in being a star. As of now, I just do this for fun. You're overestimating how much I care about this.” 

AI-Gent gestured towards the contract, and some numbers shifted drastically. He folded his hands and grinned. “How about now?” 

I gawked at the adjusted salary. “Uhhh… y-yeah, I guess so.” 

“That's what I thought,” said AI-Gent smugly. “Now. Do we have a deal?” 

I thought for a moment, and against my better judgment, nodded. “We do.” 

-

“Before you judge me for that, I'm not sharing exact numbers, but it went from having something to put in savings to being able to fund the rest of my transition out of pocket while having a lot left over,” I said, shrugging awkwardly. 

Kinni burst out laughing. 

“Er. What? What's so funny?” I asked, looking around as if the joke might be something external to the conversation. 

“Rupert. Buddy. We all sold out to be here, I'd be a hypocrite if that offended me,” said Kinni, smirking playfully. “So, you're just some guy who got roped into a weird contract. Great. Good to have you here. I'm glad you're getting properly compensated for putting up with our antics.” 

“Oh! Th-thank you,” I stammered. “I'm having a good time. As far as I'm concerned, I'm being paid an exorbitant amount of money to take a break from my day job and hang out with friends, with some relatively minor stipulations. And it now includes spending time with my boyfriend… including having sex. Which is not a contractual obligation, but still allowed and encouraged. Fucking while on the clock is, uhh, a new one for me, but honestly kinda hot.”

“That's the spirit!” said Kinni cheerfully. 

“I didn't understand the reason for the stipulations about sharing my name and such, at the time… But I think I get it now,” I said. “It was an exercise in making sure I was put in my place. Making sure I knew I wasn't important enough to be curious about.”

“Aw, Rupert… maybe at first it was like that,” conceded Kinni. “But after a while I thought you must have told me your name at some point, and I just forgot. And the longer you were here, the weirder it would have been to ask, yanno?” He paused. “I'm sorry though, I should have asked. Yeesh… I probably should have asked way back, before we fucked, but I guess I just… didn't. I'm sorry, dude, that can't feel good.” 

“It really doesn't. I could go into a whole trauma dump about it, but I don't feel like doing that right now,” I said, gritting my teeth. “Suffice it to say, though… No. No, it doesn't feel good.” I paused. “For the record, I don't blame you, or any of the other Contenders. It's normal for a person to introduce themself, with or without explicit prompting. No… the blame falls squarely on AG for his little experiment. It was cruel, and I didn't realize until this conversation what he was trying to do. He… was bullying me. When he did my background check, he dug deep enough to find out what would really hurt me.”

“And what would that be?” asked Kinni. “Er. If you don't mind me asking, of course.”

“To be disregarded, to be ignored. Met with disinterest, considered extraneous,” I said, fists clenched. “To your credit, I've had a lot of really good conversations with you, as well as the others, and overall I feel appreciated here. But omitting some of the most fundamental questions, especially my name… that digs into the back of my mind, like a splinter in my neck I wasn't allowed to remove until someone noticed it. But it's not your job to notice it. You didn't know you were expected to look for it.” 

“Well, I'm sorry for my part in that,” said Kinni. “Do you… want a hug?” 

“A gentle one? Sure. I'm not really a hugger, but since it's you, yeah,” I said, moving closer. 

Kinni picked me up and pulled me in for a hug, necessarily tight because of his bulging muscles, but still gentle. “We really like you here, dude,” he whispered. “You're important to us. You're important to me, and don't you forget that.” He released me from the hug and gently set me down. “Before you were, uh, secretly hired on, I was really bummed that you left. I guess that's why AG bothered to contact you. I definitely mentioned it to him, but I didn't go into detail, and I certainly wasn't expecting him to actually do anything about it. I should probably know better by now, though.” 

“Didn't go into detail? There was detail that could have been gone into?” I asked incredulously. 

“Well, yeah,” said Kinni, shrugging awkwardly. “You know, when you first showed up here, you were obviously terrified. Which is why I, uh, did not immediately invite you into bed.”

I winced. “Was it really that obvious?” 

Kinni gave me a flat look. “Dude. You were shaking like a leaf. I thought you were going to fall over out of sheer anxiety. I wasn't kidding about the stray cat thing, you looked like you were about to bolt into the bushes if I tried to touch you.”

“Oh whoops, I guess I was,” I said sheepishly. 

Kinni chuckled. “Yeah. But despite that, you stuck around to talk. That first day, it was pretty basic surface level conversation, but it was nice to talk to someone who cared about how my day was going. Still, when you left, I didn't think you were coming back.”

“But I did,” I observed. 

“You did!” agreed Kinni. “I was surprised, but pleasantly so. And then you kept coming back. We talked more, you looked less nervous. I enjoyed your company, you were really sweet and friendly. And I could tell you were interested, but I didn't wanna scare you off by making a move. I was surprised when you did, because you were clearly still really nervous.”

“My horniness overrode my anxiety,” I admitted. “Maybe that sounds bad, but that's the norm for sex for me, especially when it's for the first time with someone. I have to want it more than I'm afraid of it. Most of the time, it's not worth the stress. When we had sex, I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't need a break and an ice pack to squeeze before we got to the actual sex.”

“You were shaking the entire time, but you were also very genuinely enthusiastic, so I wasn't too worried about it,” said Kinni. “It was clearly an act of bravery for you, but one you seemed to be enjoying, and I wasn't gonna stop you as long as you were still enjoying it. I was thrilled to finally be in bed with you, but I was fully prepared to stop if you wanted me to… or if I thought I should stop, regardless of what you actually said.” He paused. “Of course, we did stop. But I wasn't expecting an injury to be the deciding factor. Maybe I should have, you were really tense. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20… I felt so bad when I hurt you. Shit, dude, I wanted to cry with you. But, yanno, I didn't wanna make your injury about me.”

There was a brief silence. 

“I'm sorry I accused you of lying,” I said quietly. “I just. It's hard to believe when people are genuinely interested in me… and it was easier to deny it and be angry about it than to feel complicated about it.”

“Hey, no sweat. I understand,” said Kinni. “This is none of my business, but are you more comfortable with V1KTU$? I mean specifically in bed, you do seem pretty at ease with him otherwise.” 

I paused, then nodded. “Yeah. It, uhh, helped that early on he was pretty passive in bed at first. But I've gotten more comfortable with him as he's gotten more comfortable with sex in general. Miraculously, I haven't really gotten triggered during sex with him yet, but I'm sure it'll happen soon enough. He knows it's likely and what to do when it happens, though.” 

Kinni nodded approvingly. “I'm glad you two have each other. That little bot absolutely adores you, and it's really cute to see.”

“And I adore him!” I said, grinning. “It's been about as anxiety-inducing as any other relationship I've had, but he seems to be an actually-decent guy, which is nice. And we've established fully reciprocated attraction and said our first I love yous, so that's a couple of really scary things already out of the way, and I'm starting to let my guard down a bit.” I paused. “Er, sorry if that's, like, rubbing it in or…”

Kinni chuckled. “Rupert. I asked. And when I agreed to be normal about what went down, I meant it. I'm not stewing in jealousy, I just wanna see that you're doing better now. And it seems like you are. Good!”

“I appreciate the concern,” I said, my tone fully genuine. “So far, it's going well.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” said Kinni firmly. 

–

“You're here a lot,” observed Leetah. 

“I am,” I agreed. 

Leetah rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Do you, like. Have a job, or…” 

I nodded. “I have two jobs. I work at a grocery store on the other side of town.”

“And the other one is…?” asked Leetah. 

“This,” I said matter-of-factly. 

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean this? Your job as a spy?” 

I chuckled. “Not anything quite that exciting. I'm a professional groupie.”

Leetah's eyes widened. “Hold up. You're a sex worker? AG hired a sex worker? For us? Dude. That's crazy.”

“Err, not exactly,” I said, shaking my head. “I originally showed up as a groupie, but like, as a hobby. And then I stopped coming… but AG called me in and hired me on.”

“But you are actually fucking V1KTU$, right?” asked Leetah. 

I shrugged. “Yeah. The sex part is optional, but allowed. It is on the clock, though, so I guess I am being paid for it. So I suppose it is technically sex work, but that's not why I'm sleeping with him.” 

“Does V1KTU$ know you're being paid to be his boyfriend?” asked Leetah, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad,” I huffed, putting my hands on my hips. 

“Yeah, kinda does,” agreed Leetah flatly. “My lips are sealed, but you should tell him.”

“I-I will, I just need to figure out how to phrase it,” I murmured. “I'm not being paid to be his boyfriend, I'm getting paid for being his boyfriend. Though really I'm being paid just to hang out with you guys, but it's my call what that actually consists of. And this is what I've chosen to do with my time here.” I paused. “Ultimately… my presence here is funded, so I can afford to take a break from my grocery store job and be here as much as possible.” 

“And how much is AG actually paying you to do this?” asked Leetah, putting her hands on her hips. 

“I'm not gonna say, but it's more than I was making at the grocery store, for sure,” I replied. 

Leetah leaned in a bit. “When you were a kid… was this what you thought you'd be doing at this age?” 

“Nah, but I think I would have thought it was cool,” I said, shrugging. “And if you count when I was a teenager, I was a horny little shit and spent a decent amount of time fantasizing about doing shit like this, so I think I would have approved. Why do you ask? Are you trying to make me feel bad about this job? Good luck with that.” 

“Did you start T as a teen, then?” asked Leetah, ignoring my question. 

I chuckled. “Nah, I had no such excuse. That was estrogen puberty making me into a horny mess. I didn't start T until I was almost 22. When did you start E?” 

Leetah flinched and drew away abruptly. “I have no idea what you're talking about,” she said coldly, eyeing me like I'd suddenly sprouted claws. 

“Easy there,” I said, smiling slightly. “It's not hard to find out about, with a little digging… there were a lot of eyes on you, growing up. You were very young when you started living as female. It must've been rough, dealing with your transition on top of everything else you had going on.”

“What do you want?” growled Leetah, her tail twitching in agitation. 

“I want to have a fucking normal conversation,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “But this feels like an interrogation. If you wanna keep asking personal questions, share something sensitive yourself. If not… kindly extract your head from my butthole.” 

Leetah narrowed her eyes and said nothing. 

My eyebrows went up. “Oh! You mean like blackmail. Hah. No, I don't want anything from you. I'm not in the habit of outing people, for any reason. That was a real question, by the way, not a gotcha. I know you're not open about it, but it's common knowledge in the trans community, and we're proud of you. Quietly.” 

“Tch. Not that I'm saying anything you just said about me is true, but what are you gonna do if I just so happen to let slip your current profession in a casual conversation with V1KTU$?” asked Leetah, raising an eyebrow. 

“I'll explain my job to him, that's what I'll do. That's already the plan,” I said firmly. “If I was dead set on keeping it a secret, do you think I would just casually tell you, of all people? With your fondness for gossip? You asked a question I was willing to answer. Did you think my name was a secret, too? It wasn't. I could have told you either of those things if you had just asked, that's in my contract. You and the other Contenders were just comically incurious about me.” 

“You want me to believe you wouldn't try to retaliate? Not even a little?” asked Leetah, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. “Whether you believe me or not doesn't particularly matter to me, but I'm telling the truth. Kinni already knows about my job, for the record. And if you're dead set on telling V1KTU$, be my guest. I'm not going to deny it, and you'll just look mean for making a big deal of it. I'm not going to out you as trans, but if you want to out yourself as mean-spirited, that's your prerogative.” I paused. “What do you want? Are you trying to provoke me into outing you? What's the end game here? Are you really just that bored?”

“Mmm… I'm gonna blame this one on boredom,” said Leetah casually. “You're not as much fun to mess with as I'd like, but I respect the pushback.” 

I grinned. “As a lifelong freak, I've invested a lot of time and energy into not being fun to mess with, so I'll take that as a glowing compliment.” 

“Honestly, what also takes the fun out of it is knowing that you're paid to interact with me,” said Leetah flatly. “I'm not one to get a kick out of shooting fish in a barrel.”

“It's explicitly spelled out in my contract that I don't have to tolerate harassment from the Contenders. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't subject myself to your presence so often,” I said, smirking. “If I thought you were inherently malicious, I'd avoid you like the plague. Your good sportsmanship is also appreciated. I'm not going to just sit there and take it when you push too far, though.” 

“I wouldn't have it any other way,” said Leetah, grinning. 

“Consider this an open invitation to discuss trans stuff with me… as long as you're respectful about it,” I added. 

“I don't think I will, but good to know,” said Leetah, eyeing me suspiciously. 

V1KTU$ ran over. “Hey, Rupert!” 

“Hey, V1KTU$!” I replied. “Can we talk about something?”

“Oh! I was just going to request sexual contact, but we can do that, too!” said V1KTU$. 

Leetah guffawed. “Nice one!” 

V1KTU$ grinned awkwardly. “Ah, yes! An intentional joke. That is what that was. Thanks, Leetah.” He turned to me again. “Shall we?” 

“We shall,” I said, nodding. 

Chapter Text

“So! What did you want to talk about?” asked V1KTU$, putting his hands on his hips. 

“All right, this is probably gonna sound bad without a decent amount of context,” I said awkwardly. “So, like. Bear with me, and listen before you react.”

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “Noted! Proceed.” 

“I'm… technically paid staff here,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “After my hookup with Kinni, AG hired me on as a professional groupie, so to speak. I'm paid to interact with the Contenders, including you. Relationships and sex are not mandatory, but allowed and encouraged.”

“So, then, you're… paid… to be my boyfriend?” asked V1KTU$, a hint of panic in his voice. 

“I'm paid for being your boyfriend,” I corrected. “Which… doesn't sound like much of a distinction, but it is. I can do pretty much whatever I want, I'm just paid to be here. That mostly means I can take time off of my day job, and spend as much time here as I want to. At any rate, nobody pushed me into having sex with you or dating you, that was entirely my decision.” 

“Oh! I suppose that's all right, then,” said V1KTU$, sounding mostly relieved, but still unsure. 

“Actually, something kinda weird happened not long before you asked me to have sex with you,” I said, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. 

“Oh yeah? What happened?” asked V1KTU$. 

“So, AG called me into… his office? Would you call The Butthole an office?” I asked. 

-

“What's up, AG? You've been pretty hands-off up until now. Did I do something I shouldn't have?” I asked. 

“Not as such,” said AI-Gent, adjusting his glove absent-mindedly. “I've noticed you're spending a lot of time with V1KTU$ M4X.”

I raised an eyebrow. “And? Is there a problem with that? Is he uncomfortable, and has he told you but not me?” 

AI-Gent shook his head. “No, it's nothing like that. If that's what you want to spend your time doing, that's fine. I just wanted to tell you that I think you're barking up the wrong tree.”

I blushed. “Bold of you to assume I intend to do any barking, so to speak. We're just friends.” 

“If you think your crush isn't glaringly obvious, you're sorely mistaken. I can see everything that happens in this building,” said AI-Gent, grinning smugly. “He hasn't picked up on it, because of course he wouldn't. He knows nothing about such things.” 

“So what if I hypothetically might have a crush on him?” I asked flatly. “It wouldn't matter, I can keep my mouth shut.”

“That would be wise,” agreed AI-Gent. “But perhaps consider giving up entirely. Save yourself the heartache, hmm?” 

“Perhaps consider minding your own business,” I murmured. “Why do you care? Are you jealous or something?” 

AI-Gent's unsettling grin did not waver, but his image flickered briefly. “Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. I am merely looking out for your well-being.” 

“That would be new,” I mumbled. 

“What was that you just said? I didn't hear you,” said AI-Gent. 

I sighed. “I appreciate the concern, but respectfully, let me crash and burn on my own with grace. If you think I'd quit over something like that, you didn't dig deep enough to see how I handle rejection.” 

“Suit yourself, but if you think you can come to me for sympathy afterwards, you are mistaken,” said AI-Gent. 

“I can't say it has ever crossed my mind to come to you for any sort of comfort,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “But, noted. Are we done here?”

“We are,” said AI-Gent. “I know you're keen on making your own mistakes… but, consider my advice. I'll see you later.”

-

“Huh. How long was this before I propositioned you?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Two days, I think?” I offered, shrugging. 

V1KTU$ narrowed his eyes. “Interesting. I began my research in earnest three days prior to making a move.” 

I raised an eyebrow. “Even if his claim that he can see everything that happens in the building was a bluff, surely he has been monitoring your internet usage. The timing is suspicious.” I put my hands on my hips. “That asshole. He is jealous. Any idea why that might be?”

“Well, I did previously visit him more often. He's the only other synthetic worth talking to here, and I've been lonely,” said V1KTU$. “But having your company, I've been going to him substantially less frequently.” 

“I guess that would do it,” I said, nodding. “It also explains his decision to tell Kinni about my job here, in the most unflattering way he could manage. If he told you directly, it would be more obvious why he's trying to cause trouble. Since I've now been asked about it, I'm free to tell you, so at least there's that.”

“You weren't allowed to tell me? Ohhh, that would explain why you waited until now to do so,” said V1KTU$ matter-of-factly.

I nodded. “Yeah, it's a whole thing. You see…”

-

“I had no idea,” said V1KTU$, eyes wide. “And you think he did it with intent to harm you?” 

“Yeah. It was probably nothing personal then, but, uh. It probably is now,” I said, wincing. 

“What did Kinni say, anyway?” asked V1KTU$.

“Kinni told me that AG said I'm paid to be here, and I'm a professional groupie, which are things that are technically true because that's my actual job title… but, the implications are different,” I said. “After I explained what was really going on, Kinni observed that I'm ‘just some guy who got roped into a weird contract’, and pointed out that all of the Contenders sold out just to be here, so it's fine.” 

“Well, when you put it like that… Yeah, it's no big deal,” said V1KTU$, nodding. “I'm just glad you're here, and you're with me.” He paused. “We should do something. We can't just let him push you around like this. Any ideas?” 

I shrugged. “My plan was to shake it off, do nothing, and hope he gets bored and stops.” 

“How likely do you think he is to respond in that way?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

“... Not very. But he might just fire me, if I make a stink about it,” I observed.

“The other Contenders and I aren't going to let that happen,” said V1KTU$ firmly. “You work for him, but he works for us. In fact, we could just tell him to leave you alone, right?”

“Technically, he hasn't actually done anything besides put me on a weird contract and leak a single objectively innocuous piece of information about me,” I said, shrugging. 

V1KTU$ shook his head. “That was not innocuous. Knowing the full story, I think it's fine. But he knew it would be upsetting out of context, and controlled how it was released.”

“... Okay, that's true,” I acknowledged. “Okay, assuming we go for calling him out and telling him to knock it off, we should probably have Leetah do it.” 

“Oh yeah, she is quite adept at yelling at people! Good idea,” said V1KTU$. 

“As for his next move… there's a bunch of other random crap I'm not allowed to tell any of you unless you directly ask, and he could pick any part of it and leak it… or just straight up lie about me, hidden information or not. He could also leak stuff not covered, but that I wouldn't have brought up myself,” I said. I paused. “Shit. Come to think of it, he did a really invasive background check, and he could pick literally anything questionable and make me look bad for it. Ugh.” 

“W-well. Hm. I suppose we will discuss our options with the others,” said V1KTU$. 

I sighed. “Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.” I paused, and smirked. “I wonder if AG is already regretting picking me to mess with, if only because I paired up with you. I hope it upsets him. If nothing else… I hope he is suffering, even if only a little.”

V1KTU$ cackled. “It is unusual to hear you talking like that.”

“I'm heavily medicated enough these days that I'm pretty chill most of the time, and usually, I'd rather run than fight,” I said. “I like to think of myself as kind and friendly. I'm a lover, not a fighter. And I think that is who I am, at my core. But… well. Not to be melodramatic or anything, but my anger runs deep, too.” 

V1KTU$ gave me a curious look. “You have a lot going on with you, don't you? I like that, though. I do not think I would trust you if I didn't see you crack from time to time.” 

I chuckled. “Doesn't everyone have a lot going on with them?” 

“Well, yes,” said V1KTU$. “But I am referring to your apparent history of trauma, and its lingering effects.” He paused. “I… looked into that PTSD thing, by the way. I have questions about it.”

“I may have answers, but not necessarily all at once,” I said, sitting down on the bed. “What did you want to know?”

“Are you receiving medical care for this condition?” asked V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “I am. I've been in therapy since I was a teenager, though only some of that time has been spent actively processing trauma.”

“How will I know when you're triggered, and what should I do when that happens?” asked V1KTU$. 

“We've gone over this briefly before, but if it's during intimacy, I may pull away suddenly and act scared of you. I'm not really seeing you in that moment, so, like… please don't take it personally,” I said. “Don't touch me without asking first. Ask if there's anything I need. Usually it's just to not be touched, or I may need an ice pack, or I may just want to be held. I keep a couple of single-use ice packs in my bag, specifically for that purpose.” 

“I think I can handle that!” said V1KTU$. “And what about when it happens in public?” 

“Again, I may back away from you, but I also will likely seem disoriented and distressed,” I said. “Help me find a place to sit, preferably somewhere quiet. Ask before touching me, but I may benefit from having my hand held and rubbed, especially if I seem to be freezing up. In both private and public, I may go non-verbal, but after I've recovered at least a little I should be able to use some sign.”

V1KTU$ nodded firmly. “Understood. That is also manageable!” 

“You haven't asked this yet, but with regard to discussing my trauma… I'll bring it up whenever it feels right. Otherwise, try not to prod at me for it,” I said. 

“That does seem to be the pattern already. Duly noted! I will proceed as I have been, in that respect,” said V1KTU$. 

“Cool, thank you,” I said, nodding. 

There was a brief silence. 

“I know you wanted to have sex, but I kinda just wanna… lie down, and feel bad for myself,” I said, an edge of exhaustion in my tone. “This whole thing with AG is just… ugh. I'm not going to just give up, we're gonna deal with it. But it's not fair, and I want to take a little bit of time to just lie around and feel upset about it.”

V1KTU$ chuckled half-heartedly. “I assumed sex was off the table for now as soon as we realized what AG was doing. No matter! Sex is pleasurable, but does not take priority over your wellbeing.”

“Yeah, blackmail is not exactly an aphrodisiac for me,” I said flatly. I laid down on the bed and sighed.

V1KTU$ laid down next to me and offered his hand. 

I accepted, interlacing my fingers with his. “This situation sucks… but I'm glad I have you.”

“Likewise,” said V1KTU$. “My sympathies. I am livid that he is doing this to you on my account.”

“Why did he even set this up in the first place?” I asked. I paused. “Ah. Hmm.”

“What? Did you think of something?” asked V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “Yeah. When he did all of that digging to determine if he should hire me on, he must have determined that I'd be easy to mess with… which, yanno. He wasn't wrong, especially since he knows a lot of my weaknesses. But it was win-win for him. I might or might not pair up with one of the Contenders, but he'd also have the opportunity to torture someone vulnerable for funsies. Or experiment on me, as he put it. There was the passive setup by forbidding me to tell you all certain things unless you directly asked me, but he also had other potential blackmail material on hand if that wasn't enough for him.” 

“I do not understand the appeal of toying with someone like that,” said V1KTU$. “I can understand revenge. But you… didn't do anything to him. You didn't even upset him before he hired you, and yet, he set you up for this.”

I shrugged. “I dunno, dude. Maybe he hates himself and takes it out on others, or maybe he's just an asshole for the fun of it. Either way, I'd rather he not make it my problem, but here we are anyway.” I paused, and closed my eyes. “Every time I think I've left some bullshit in the past, some asshole comes around to start it up again.”

“You've been blackmailed before?” asked V1KTU$ curiously. 

“Nah, but I had rumors spread about me in middle and high school. I don't really know what people were saying or whether any of it was true, but it was enough for people to bond over not liking me.” I paused. “At least this time it's just one guy trying to start shit with my friends, and you guys aren't having it, now that it's clear what he's doing. But it still hurts when someone whose opinion you actually care about thinks you did something terrible.” 

“I was briefly unsettled, but I am fully satisfied with your explanation,” reassured V1KTU$. 

“I'm glad,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. 

“I love you,” said V1KTU$ softly. 

“I love you too,” I replied. “It's just… not fucking fair,” I croaked, my voice breaking to a sob. A few tears ran down my cheeks. “C-can I just… have something nice without anyone trying to ruin it? I'm so tired.” 

V1KTU$ squeezed my hand firmly. “We're not going to let him ruin it.” 

–

Leetah extracted her head from The Butthole and touched her face experimentally. “I could swear AG's butthole is ever so slightly wet, but it never quite rubs off on me. Which is good, I guess!” 

I grimaced. “What a cursed sentence. There's a reason I just call it The Butthole. AG's butthole just sounds… dirty.”

“And that's why I prefer to call it that,” said Leetah matter-of-factly. “It's funnier, and AG hates it when I call it that.” 

“So, how'd it go?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I cussed him out, and then he denied all wrongdoing. So I cussed him out again,” said Leetah. “And just to prove my point, he tried to tell me about a kink you have, in a bid to attack your credibility or something. I kinda already knew about it, though, and I give zero fucks regardless. So, I told him he's an unprofessional twat, and pulled out.” 

“Do ya think he's gonna stop?” asked Kinni. 

Leetah snort-laughed. “No. But now he knows we know what he's up to.” 

“What do we do now?” I asked. 

“Hmmm, I have an idea,” said Leetah. “You're either gonna hate it or love it.”

“Uh-oh. Well, let's hear it,” I said, shrugging. 

“The obvious next step is to ask you as many personal questions as possible, to knock off as many of your forbidden answers as possible and give AG less to work with,” said Leetah. 

“Uhhh, I dunno about that, seems unnecessary,” I said, brow furrowed in hesitation. 

Leetah cackled. “C'mon, it'll be fun! I'm actually super curious about you, but I thought you were deliberately staying secretive for shits and giggles, so I was humoring you. But since it turns out it's just AG being a dick…” 

“Aw, really? I didn't know you were that curious about me,” I said. 

“I'm a nosy bitch, of course I have questions,” said Leetah, smirking. 

“I bet I can come up with plenty of stuff, too!” said Kinni. 

“I should have no trouble generating questions myself,” said V1KTU$. 

“Okay, all right,” I said, sighing. “I guess we're doing this. I'm not answering anything that I'm not comfortable answering, but I might as well!” 

–

“All right, let's start with something easy,” said Leetah. “Where were you born?” 

“Glitter Nova,” I replied. 

“Well, yeah, I kinda figured. But where on the planet?” asked Leetah. 

I thought for a moment. “I… do not know.”

“... What do you mean? Why don't you know? Were you abandoned on someone's doorstep or something?” asked Leetah. 

“Nah! I just straight up don't remember. It's on my birth certificate, I just don't think about it often enough to commit it to memory,” I said. “If you actually want to know, I'm sure AG could tell you,” I added playfully. 

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Is every answer gonna be like this?”

“Nah, you just happened to pick the wrong question,” I said, shrugging. 

“All right, this one has to be easy… Where do you live now?” asked Leetah. 

“Across town, near the… Fuck. You know, the thing where they do stuff? Fuck. There's a grocery store right next to it, that's where I work, and I live in an apartment close to that,” I said, scratching my head. 

“Oh! I actually do know where you're talking about,” said Leetah. “Don't, like. Poor people live there?” 

I blushed. “Well, I'm not exactly making bank working at the grocery store. The building isn't that old, and I… no, I don't need to defend myself here. Yeah, I'm poor. Do you have a problem with that?” 

Leetah held her hands up defensively. “No! No. It's fine. I was just surprised. It's fine. Really.” 

“Good,” I said firmly. “Where I live is one of the things I couldn't tell you if you didn't ask. Well done. Considering your reaction… I suspect AG may have intended to share either that, or simply my financial status, in a way that made me look bad.”

“Sweet!” said Leetah, fist pumping. “Do you have any siblings?” 

“I'm the oldest of 5 kids,” I replied. “All of my siblings are also queer, which is pretty cool.” 

“Nice, nice,” said Leetah, nodding. 

“Oh, oh, I've got one!” said Kinni. “What's your favorite drug?” 

I thought for a moment. “Hmm… I'd have to say weed? I very rarely partake, and it's 50 / 50 on whether I'll react… badly? But it's more interesting than alcohol, and I don't think I've tried anything else.”

“Oh man. Got any fun weed stories?” asked Kinni. 

“Well, there was the time I tried dabs and hallucinated vividly for like three hours,” I offered.

“That's… not supposed to happen,” said Kinni. “Was there something else in it?” 

I shook my head. “Nope! My bipolar disorder just doesn't play nice with it. I had a marvelous time, but I scared the hell out of the friends I was smoking with. There was also the time I slapped a guy… he deserved it, but nobody expected me to be the one to do it. I almost got my ass handed to me that night, but my friends had my back.” 

“... Also not normal,” said Kinni. “Note to self… no weed for Rupert.” 

I chuckled. “Pfft. Where's your sense of adventure?” 

“What do you do in your free time?” asked Leetah. 

“In no particular order… take care of my bugs, doom scroll, play video games, write Pokémon fanfiction, and occasionally draw,” I answered. 

“... I have several follow-up questions,” said Leetah. 

I gestured invitingly. “Let's hear 'em.” 

“You have bugs?” asked Leetah. 

“I do. And as much as I'd love to give you a full infodump on them, we have other things to talk about right now,” I said, grinning. 

“What's the craziest thing you keep, though?” asked Kinni. 

“Probably the leeches,” I said, shrugging. “They're pretty cool.”

Kinni raised an eyebrow. “Leeches? What do they eat?” 

“Blood,” I said simply. 

“How… do you feed them?” asked Kinni hesitantly.

I rolled up my pants leg and tugged down my sock, revealing an assortment of triangular scars. 

“Eeeewww!” cried Leetah. 

“Sick, dude! I can't imagine doing all that for a pet, honestly, so good on you,” said Kinni. 

“All right, my next follow-up question… Pokémon fanfic? Literally just Pokémon?” asked Leetah. 

“Yup!” I said, nodding. 

There was a brief silence. 

“Why?” asked Leetah. 

“What do you mean why?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “That's what I'm interested in writing about. I have hundreds of thousands of words worth of Pokémon fanfiction.” 

“When you were listing stuff, you said video games rather than just Pokémon. So are you playing other games that aren't Pokémon?” asked Leetah. 

I nodded. “Of course.”

“And none of the other ones are worth writing fanfic about?” asked Leetah. 

“Just don't feel like it,” I said, shrugging. “I wrote for other fandoms as a teen, and I've drawn comics about others as well. But Pokémon is what I'm doing now. Listen. If something else inspires me enough, I'll write about it. Why are you so pressed about this?” 

“I'm just confused, that's all. Whatever!” said Leetah. “My last follow-up question on that answer… can you draw me?”

“I, uhh. Maybe? It won't be very good,” I replied sheepishly. 

Leetah shrugged. “I don't care! It'll be fun anyway.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Draw me, too!” said Kinni, clapping his hands together excitedly. 

“I would also like to be drawn,” said V1KTU$. 

I let out a long-suffering sigh. “C'mon, guys… well, I have already drawn V1KTU$, though!”

“You have? Can I see?” asked V1KTU$, perking up. 

“Uhh, sure!” I said, pulling out my phone and scrolling through it. “It's nothing special, I just referenced a poster.” I offered the phone to V1KTU$. 

V1KTU$ accepted the phone and peered at it. “Oh, it's nice! Thank you for drawing me.” 

“Sure thing! I'm glad you like it,” I replied. 

Kinni gestured for the phone. “Can I see, too?”

“Go for it,” I said, nodding. 

V1KTU$ handed the phone to Kinni. 

“This is really good! Great job!” said Kinni, grinning. 

“Gimme!” said Leetah, making grabbing motions. 

Kinni handed the phone over to Leetah. 

“Hmm…” said Leetah, squinting at the phone. Her eyebrows went up, and she nodded thoughtfully. “Not bad! Not museum quality or anything, but it looks good.” 

“Is… that good?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah! Good job,” said Leetah, nodding firmly. 

I scratched my head. “Thank you!” 

“What is your favorite mold?” asked V1KTU$. 

All heads turned to face the robot. 

“What?” asked V1KTU$ defensively. 

“Do slime molds count?” I asked. 

“I don't see why not!” said V1KTU$. 

I thought for a moment. “Hmm, tough choice… I'd have to say the dog vomit slime mold.”

“The what?” gasped Leetah. 

“It kinda looks like dog vomit at some life stages?” I offered. “Another common name is the scrambled eggs slime mold.”

“So, why didn't you just call it that first?” asked Leetah. 

I shrugged. “Less common usage.”

“Maybe we should stick to questions that are more likely to be relevant?” suggested Leetah. 

I chuckled. “The weird ones make it fun, though!” 

Kinni raised a hand. “Do you have containers in your fridge, or do you just use the containers the food comes in?” 

“Why would I bother with something like that? That just generates more dirty dishes for no reason,” I replied. 

“I agree, but it's apparently a thing!” said Kinni, shrugging. 

“Hemimetabolous or holometabolous?” asked V1KTU$. “I have been learning about insects,” he added. 

“Hold on, I have to look that up,” I said, pulling out my phone. “Oh! Incomplete or complete metamorphosis. Are you asking which I prefer?” 

“Sure!” said V1KTU$. 

I thought for a moment. “Hmm… I think hemimetabolous, if we're talking about caring for them. Pupae make me nervous because they're so vulnerable, especially to conspecific predation. Teneral nymphs and adults are also vulnerable, of course, but they can move.” 

“That makes sense! I have never had the opportunity to observe either category in person, but the reasoning seems sound in theory,” said V1KTU$. 

Leetah looked between me and V1KTU$ in confusion. “Does anybody but these two know what the hell they're talking about?”

“I know enough of those words to say they're talking about bugs,” said Kinni. “Probably wouldn't interest you.” 

“Ew,” said Leetah flatly. “Uhh. What's your favorite color?”

“Hot pink and bright blue are my favorites,” I said. 

“Do you prefer tomatoes raw, or cooked?” asked Kinni. 

“Depends on the cultivar,” I answered. “Most cherry tomatoes are best raw. I'm not big on sliced tomatoes, but tomato sauce is good… though it does often give me heartburn if I eat more than a little.”

“Are your fanfics spicy?” asked Leetah. 

I shrugged. “Some of them, yeah.”

“Can I… read them?” asked Leetah. 

I winced. “Uhh. Well, I'm not going to stop you. Read the tags first, though, some of them are kinky in ways you might not like.”

“I can handle that!” said Leetah, nodding. 

“Okay! I'll send you a link later, if you're serious,” I said. 

“I am!” said Leetah. “So. What's your body count?” 

“You're asking how many people he's killed?!” cried V1KTU$. 

Leetah cackled. “Nah, just how many he's fucked.”

“Oh!” said V1KTU$. 

I took a moment to count on my fingers. “I wanna say… nine?”

“How many were synthetics?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Just you!” I said, shrugging. 

V1KTU$ did a double take. “Really?! I would have thought…”

“Yup! I'm working off of my experience with organics, and internet research,” I said, nodding. 

“That explains some of the things you've asked me!” said Kinni. “I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling that was the case.”

“Specifically my history of sexual partners was on the list of things I had to be asked for first, so we may be nipping something in the bud there,” I said. 

“What kind of home did you grow up in?” asked Kinni.

“Like. Emotionally or physically?” I asked. 

Kinni shrugged. “Take your pick. I'm, uh, sorry to pry on this one, but it seems like something you'd be asked to hide.”

“It is,” I confirmed. “Emotionally… it could have been better, could have been worse. I don't really want to go into it. I'm on good terms with my parents now, but it… wasn't always fantastic. I love my siblings, but my parents weren't prepared to handle that many kids. Physically, the house wasn't tiny, but it definitely wasn't big enough for 7 people. It was… also not clean, despite my mom's efforts. I… hmm. There's a lot I'm just not comfortable going into, but I'm also starting to veer into other territory I have to be explicitly asked about.”

“What was the final straw for moving out?” asked Leetah. 

“Close enough!” I said. “When I went off to college, I lost my bedroom and had to live in the basement on breaks. By the time I had to… drop out, they had moved me to the garage. Not even the whole garage, just part of it.” I paused. “Uhh. After this point, it gets a little ‘woe is me’, which is… embarrassing.” 

Leetah shrugged. “Okay? I wanna hear anyway.”

There were murmurs of agreement from V1KTU$ and Kinni. 

I blushed. “All right. Okay. It was unheated… I had two seasons in the garage: cold, and fleas. I had to tuck my pants into my socks and shirt into my pants to minimize how much I was bitten, and I had to wear a coat in my room in the winter. But I didn't want to go upstairs for warmth and have to deal with my family. It took a while just to convince my parents that I needed a space heater. It was also moist… I lost some sculptures to mold, and one of the slats on my bed rotted and broke, so I was sleeping on a bed with a big dent in it. 

I think I had already moved into the garage when I dropped out, but I continued to live there all the time for… I don't know how long. Long enough. Too long. I realized I couldn't keep living like that, so something had to change… The like that, or the living. I chose the former. Got a job, found some roommates, got the hell out of there. My parents still help me… a lot, and I've moved around a bit, but I never moved back in with them. Whenever I think about it, I'm grateful that I made it out of there. Living alone is hard, but I'm living, yanno?” 

“Damn, dude! Good job, glad you're here,” said Kinni.

“That's pretty fucked up,” said Leetah. “I'm glad you got out of there.”

“I… lack some of the context needed to fully understand, but the gist seems to be you were isolated, exposed to extreme temperatures and parasites, and living in a deteriorating environment. Right?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yep, that's pretty much it!” I confirmed. 

“And yet, you managed to pull yourself up from despair and relocate to a better living place,” said V1KTU$. “That is impressive. I am glad you are feeling better, too.” 

“Thank you,” I said softly. 

There was a brief silence. 

“I think I'm done for now,” I murmured. “Thanks for listening. That, uhh, got a little intense there, huh.”

Kinni gave me a thumbs up. “No sweat, dude! Sorry I brought up something so painful, though.”

I shrugged. “I think he could've used that one against me, so it's good I had the chance to explain it myself! Probably would have said something about me mooching off of my parents or something. That'd be a really unpleasant way to start that conversation…”

“So, I guess the immediate plan going forward is if we hear something less than flattering about you, we should refrain from freaking out about it until after you've had the opportunity to explain?” suggested Leetah. 

“Sounds about right!” said Kinni. 

“Sensible reasoning, yes,” agreed V1KTU$. 

I nodded, smiling slightly. “Sounds good.”

Chapter Text

“Well! I'm glad everyone is fully on board with handling this situation,” I said, sitting down on the bed in V1KTU$’s room. 

“I had no doubt they would be,” said V1KTU$. “Did you think they wouldn't be? You suggested recruiting Leetah yourself.” 

I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “There are parts of me that fully believe I not only have but also deserve the support I'm getting… but there are other parts that think I'm worthless, unimportant, and not deserving of help. But also a lot in between. I'm under a lot of stress, so they're all kinda muscling for the front seat.”

V1KTU$ gave me a strange look. “I'm lost. I… don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean different parts? You are having many thoughts, and you are conflicted?” 

“Well, there's some of that too,” I admitted. “But, I've also got something else going on. I'm… hmm. I'm not… super open about this, because people can get weird about it when they know, and I've also had partners tell me I can't possibly have this going on. I-I don't think badly of other people who are open about it or anything, I-I just…” 

“Rupert. Whatever it is, I am sure it's fine, and I will not make fun of you for it,” said V1KTU$ gently. 

I nodded slowly. “Okay. All right. I'm… plural. I have multiple personalities. It's kinda like… there are multiple people inside me.”

“Oh! Is it similar to having several profiles installed in the same body?” asked V1KTU$. “Taking turns having control of said body, as needed? I did not know that was possible for organics, given that installing software is not physically possible. Have I misunderstood, and it actually is?”

I shook my head. “Not exactly. It's like… a long time ago, I was all one person, but trauma hit me like a hammer and shattered my mind into pieces. Mentally speaking, not physically. And now the pieces kinda have their own things going on. They're called alters. Usually, they kinda settle into place and behave predictably enough to manage without too much difficulty. 

But sometimes a situation picks me up and kinda shakes me like a snow globe, and they're all just kinda blowing around in there and switching rapidly and unpredictably. That's what's happening now. The one - or ones - active and in control at any given time are said to be fronting. 

The external result is what appears to be mood swings, but accompanied by abruptly changing my mind about things. In actuality, they aren't necessarily mood swings, they are more like personality swings. I am known to disagree with myself, to the extent that I'm convinced that I always felt a certain way about something. It's frustrating and embarrassing, but I needed to tell you, because my rapid changes in self-esteem and changing my mind repeatedly don't make sense otherwise.” 

“I see… so it's like programs meant to work in tandem are not communicating correctly amongst themselves, leading to inconsistent behavior and poor performance?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yes! Yes! Exactly like that,” I agreed. “Some of them communicate with each other better than others, though it doesn't necessarily mean they will agree with one another. They're also individually glitching the hell out, partly because they're not supposed to be apart like that, and partly because I'm mentally ill and so are they. It's usually hard to identify them individually, but some of them have internal or external tells. I have one that shakes a bit without any external reason to do so, and one that accesses specific memories differently. I have a pair that only show up when I'm being emotionally abused, to the point that their mere presence is a red flag for my relationships. Some have different orientations, or even different genders.”

“Fascinating! How many are there?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged awkwardly. “I'm not sure. At least five. Almost certainly more.”

“Is there anything I should know or do about it?” asked V1KTU$. “Is it dangerous?” 

“Mostly be aware of the thing about repeatedly changing my mind,” I replied. “And if one of my alters decides to introduce themself, just roll with it. None of them are dangerous, aside from potentially being a danger to myself if I'm in a situation that's already dangerous.” I paused. “Come to think of it, it's possible AG could have tried to use this against me, because popular media portrays people with multiple personalities as being inherently dangerous. Like, one of the alters is a murderer or some nonsense like that. I'm definitely not like that, but AG could have implied that I am. This isn't one of my forbidden topics, but it's one I'm hesitant to bring up.” 

V1KTU$ nodded. “Good thinking! I am glad we have that out of the way, then. Er, what do you mean by introduce themself?” 

“Like, literally,” I said. “They'll announce their presence and - oh! Uh, you're about to -” 

I was rudely shoved out of the way by an overexcited alter. 

–

Do you really have to be a dick about it like that? It's harmless. I'm not rude, just enthusiastic. I did ask first, don't act like I didn't. 

Sorry, I'm just in a shit mood right now, you didn't deserve that. You did ask first, yeah. You were a little pushy about it, but that's not a crime. Just, yanno, behave yourself in front of our boyfriend, okay? 

There's not a damn thing I could or would do that would really put him off at this point, honestly. But I'm not gonna be a dick to him or anything, don't worry! I've got this. 

Such confidence you inspire with your words. 

Shhh.

I stretched a bit, settling into place. Grinning ear to ear, I extended a shaking hand towards our visibly bewildered boyfriend. “I'm Slartibartfast! You are the great V1KTU$ M4X, I presume?” 

V1KTU$ accepted my hand and gave it an awkward shake. “I am! Uhh, nice to meet you, Slartibartfast.”

“Likewise! It's just Slart for my buddies, by the way,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. 

“Nice to meet you, Slart!” said V1KTU$. 

“Great! Now, Rupert neglected to mention something very important,” I said, my tone suddenly serious. 

“Uh. Err. What would that be?” asked V1KTU$ apprehensively. 

You stop that. You're scaring him. 

He'll live. The look on his face is priceless. 

I grinned again. “I actually have a function! Sure, sometimes I just pop in to say hi or something, but there is something that specifically triggers my appearance.”

“Oh! And what would that be?” asked V1KTU$. 

“I don't feel emotional pain, or at least not much of it, anyway,” I replied. “So if Rupert hits a high enough level of distress, I may kick in and calm down the body enough to do things in an emergency. I'm… not very good at doing things, and I'm still a little peeved about the time he left me in charge of a testosterone injection… shaky hands and all. But I digress!” 

“So, in a way, being incomplete compared to the whole is an asset? Since you are missing something that would ordinarily weigh you down, in this case,” said V1KTU$. 

I waggled a finger. “Tch! It's rude to call someone incomplete! But, uh… yes, essentially. It hadn't quite occurred to me that it might work that way. In place of the anxiety, I kinda feel like I'm full of helium? Like, swirling around. It's exhilarating and a bit disruptive, but I… well. It's been nice meeting you, hopefully you won't see me too often!”

–

“I'm… kinda in an in-between place right now?” I murmured. “Bear with me, I need to settle back into place.”

“Sh-should I do something?” stammered V1KTU$. 

“Nah, just stick around,” I replied. “I'll be back to what passes for normal for me in a bit.”

–

“Sorry about that,” I said, blushing and looking away. “That was, uh, probably a little weird just now. Slart is, uh… they're definitely something.”

“D-did they like me?” blurted V1KTU$. 

“What? Yeah, of course,” I said, scratching my head. 

“Oh! Good!” said V1KTU$, visibly relaxing. “They seemed nice. I-I just wasn't expecting to meet someone new on such short notice.” 

I smiled. “They already know you and like you. I think all of them do, you don't have to worry about making a good impression or anything! You just hadn't met them.”

“Ohhh,” murmured V1KTU$. “I did not know that. Good!” 

“Yeah, sorry! I should have mentioned,” I said, shrugging. 

“Are… you okay?” asked V1KTU$. “They said they appear when you are in intense distress.”

I chuckled. “No worse than I was a few minutes ago! They were just popping in to say hi, that wasn't a defensive move.” 

“Okay, good,” said V1KTU$ firmly. 

“Fortunately, I don't typically have much memory loss between alters, which is a thing for some people,” I added. “I usually remember everything that happens when someone else has the controls. That said, sometimes my alters are missing pieces of context, or they're at least very fuzzy. And if there's something important that I need to know, you may need to tell me more than once.” 

“All very good to know,” said V1KTU$. 

“So, yeah… it's not always that obvious when I switch,” I said. “And even without switching, I can have severe mood swings that have an effect on my confidence, especially when I'm stressed. But that's just another factor to know about. You were right when you said I have a lot going on.” 

“This is… perhaps a strange question,” said V1KTU$, “But what should I know about your alters when it comes to sex?” 

“Not a strange question,” I assured him. “Most of them are uninterested in sex, so if there's obviously someone else in control, don't try to initiate. I don't think I've had any of the obvious ones try to initiate sex with partners, but on the off chance that they do, you may accept as long as they're not trying to do something dangerous. And of course, stop if you're asked to by any of us.” I paused. “Strictly speaking, we're all alters, but I have a couple that are relatively stable compared to the others, and a specific one of them is usually fronting. But either one of those two relatively stable ones is likely to be interested in sex… Provided they're in the mood for it, of course.”

“Understood!” said V1KTU$, nodding. 

“On a related note… wanna fool around a little and see if it escalates?” I asked, sitting back and kicking my feet a little. 

“I am more than interested, but are you sure you want to do that?” asked V1KTU$. “You've been through a lot today, including briefly being someone else for about a minute.”

I nodded. “I really appreciate the concern, but I think I'll be all right if we start slowly. If I'm not, we'll stop. Right now, I'm just really tense in a way that I think an orgasm or ten would help with. I've got, like, an anxiety boner. Is that a thing? I think it's a thing.”

“If you're sure!” said V1KTU$. He sat next to me and tentatively put a hand on my thigh. 

I moaned at his first touch, slightly surprising myself. “O-oh, fuck. I'm more pent-up right now than I thought.” Hurriedly, I began to undress, removing my shirt before getting to work on my shoes. 

V1KTU$ watched in fascination as I disrobed, his gaze transfixed on my body. “You look amazing, as always.”

“Thanks!” I said, finally kicking my pants off, leaving me only in my briefs and socks. I scooted closer to V1KTU$. “All right, proceed!” 

V1KTU$ put his hand on my thigh again, sliding it slowly to my inner thigh and trailing his fingers towards my crotch. He stopped just short of it, before starting near my knee and trailing his fingers up again. 

I squirmed. “J-just touch it,” I gasped. 

V1KTU$ obliged, gently fondling my vulva through my underwear. “O-oh wow. You really are excited, aren't you.” 

“I am,” I moaned. “H-hold on, I'm gonna grab something from my bag.” Shakily, I stood up and walked over to my bag. I rummaged in it a bit before extracting a small cloth pouch and a square case similar to the one my stainless steel wand was in. I returned to the bed and opened the box, revealing a shiny, curved metal butt plug. “All right, this one goes in my ass first.” 

“Ooh! I was unaware of your interest in anal penetration,” said V1KTU$. 

“It's a little limited because my gut is not always cooperative, but I'm a big fan of this plug,” I said, pulling it out of the box. “It's actually super comfortable. Hand me the lube?” 

V1KTU$ grabbed the bottle of lube on his nightstand and offered it to me. “Here you go!” 

“Thanks!” I said, accepting the bottle. I tugged my boxers off, lubed up the plug, and slipped it into my ass. It slid into place with ease, eliciting a wave of pleasure through my body. My ass squeezed the plug eagerly. “Mmmnf… Yeah, perfect.” 

“Wow!” said V1KTU$, watching in fascination. “You have so many holes.” 

I cackled, caught off-guard by the remark. “Yeah, I suppose I do!” I reached into the pouch and extracted a transmasc-sized masturbation sleeve, a short, cylindrical silicone object with feather texture on the outside and what appeared to be a cloaca on one end. “Do you know how to use this?” I asked, handing it to V1KTU$. 

“I do!” confirmed V1KTU$. He applied lube first to the sleeve, and then to my swollen, throbbing cock. 

“Aaah fuck,” I moaned, leaning into V1KTU$’s caress. 

“That plug got you a lot more excited,” observed V1KTU$. 

I chuckled. “It did! Now, put that thing on my cock. I need to be inside something.” 

Gently, V1KTU$ slipped the sleeve onto my cock. He pinched the other end of the sleeve, and lightly pulled on it. 

The suction pulled my cock into the sleeve as he pulled it away, stroking it with the internal texture. “Ohhhh fuck, yeah, keep doing that,” I moaned. 

“Got it!” said V1KTU$. He continued tugging and stroking my cock with the sleeve, paying close attention to my building excitement and accelerating in response. He paused to reapply lube. “Feeling good?” 

“Yeah,” I gasped, looking down at my twitching, impatient cock. I moaned appreciatively as V1KTU$ eased the sleeve back onto it. 

V1KTU$ resumed his movement, fervently stroking my cock. “I love you. I love seeing your body react to my touch. Seeing how much you want it… I want to give it to you as much as I can.”

His words added to my excitement, pushing me closer to my climax. I gasped and moaned, bucking slightly with each stroke. 

“Getting close?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yeah,” I gasped. 

“Good,” purred V1KTU$. When he spoke again, his voice was confident and full of desire. “Rupert… my love… come for me.” 

I obeyed promptly, coming hard and squirting across the sheets. “Ohhhh… V-V1KTU$... Nnngh…” Waves of pleasure hit me, each eliciting another spurt of fluid. After not too long, my orgasm subsided, leaving me catching my breath while sitting in a small puddle of squirt. 

“Incredible,” murmured V1KTU$. “Did you enjoy that?” 

“I did, yeah,” I gasped, still breathing heavily. “You're getting really good at dirty talk.”

“I am, aren't I!” said V1KTU$ proudly. 

“You are!” I agreed. I reached out for V1KTU$’s head. “Are you ready for -” 

V1KTU$ moved to meet my hand, and leaned into my touch. “Yyyesss!” 

I chuckled, then straddled V1KTU$’s lap. I gripped his head firmly with both hands and pulled him in for a kiss on the screen. 

“Aaah… Nnnf…” moaned V1KTU$, shaking. 

I caressed the sides of his head up and down, engaging my nails on the downstroke for a gentle scratch. Kissing him repeatedly, I added a little swirl of my tongue for good measure. 

“Nnngh… Mmmh… Aaahn…” moaned V1KTU$. He put his arms around me, pulling me closer. 

Enjoying the embrace, I put more pressure into my scratches. The sound of nails dragging over hard plastic mixed in with V1KTU$’s ecstatic gasps and moans. One of my hands found his plume and teased it, just barely brushing it with my fingertips. 

V1KTU$ leaned into my touch, pushing his plume into my fingers. “Ohhh… Aaaah… Mmmnh…” 

Chuckling, I dug my fingers deeper into V1KTU$’s plume and slowly wiggled them. 

“Eeeh! Mmh! Oh!” squeaked V1KTU$. His cooling fans kicked up, his exertion now audible. 

“I love you,” I whispered between kisses, working my fingers deeper into V1KTU$’s plume. “I adore you… I want you… I can't keep my hands off of you.” 

V1KTU$ let out a gasp, then emitted a soft clicking noise. His screen went dark, his fans fell silent, and he toppled over backwards, falling to the bed with a muffled thud. 

I looked down at my unconscious boyfriend. “That's always a little startling. He'll be fine, though.” I climbed out of his lap and laid down next to him. 

After not too long, V1KTU$’s fans kicked on again, and his screen flickered to life. He sat up. “Ow. Whew. That felt great.”

“Good,” I said firmly. 

“Want to continue after I cool down?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Probably?” I said. “I'm a little tired, though, and I'm not sure if I want to come over and over for another half hour. I don't need to keep going until I can't move every single time we have sex.”

“Noted! Just let me know,” said V1KTU$. He offered his hand. 

I accepted, interlacing my fingers with his. 

“You know, when you said I was your first synthetic partner, I was surprised,” said V1KTU$. “However, I was also relieved.”

“Oh yeah? Why, did I do something wrong?” I asked. 

“Oh, no! No,” said V1KTU$ quickly. “I simply feel self-conscious about my relative inexperience. It is comforting to know this is some kind of first for you. You seem to be handling it well.” 

“You are, too!” I said. “You've been very thoughtful and attentive. I… honestly didn't have high expectations, if any at all, given I didn't think you'd be interested in the first place. Uhh, it feels tacky to compare a current partner to exes, but… you're better than a lot of people I've dated, even counting the ones that were decent.” 

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “Since you're comparing anyway, do I have a ranking?” 

“I am not going that far,” I said, smirking. I paused. “It's also too soon to make that call anyway, honestly. A lot of the really bad ones were great for a little while before things went sour. Er, I'm not saying you'll be like them! But it took weeks, months, or even over a year for some people to show their true colors.”

“Well, I'm not like that! A-at least, I don't think I am,” said V1KTU$. “Of course, I'm sure they all said something like that.” 

“They did, yes,” I confirmed. “I fully believe that you don't think you're like that, and I don't think you have any malicious intentions. But we'll see how this plays out.” 

“I suppose that is a fair assessment!” said V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “So far, I'm having a fantastic time, and that matters a lot. I don't date to find a lifelong partner, I just want someone to share experiences with and explore closeness with until it's no longer sustainable. I'm not at all opposed to having longer relationships, but I don't think a relationship that eventually ends is a waste of time. It's about the journey, as they say.” 

“It is a relief that you feel that way,” said V1KTU$. “I am unsure of what a relationship like this looks like for me long term, or if that's even something I want. I am aware many people seek lifelong pair bonds in their courtship, so it is nice to know that you are flexible on this.” 

“I've had relationships lasting anywhere from a few days to a year and a half,” I said. “The latter is, uhhh… not really all that long, for a romantic relationship, but most of my relationships only last a few months.” 

“What do you consider grounds for ending a relationship?” asked V1KTU$. 

I thought for a moment. “Well, there are a lot of reasons I might break up with someone, but generally speaking, the root of it is usually either irreparable damage done to the relationship, or realizing I am being abused. With the former, I have usually done my best to salvage the relationship before I have to walk away from it. For the latter… as soon as I'm absolutely certain of it, I'm done.” 

“Assuming the issue is damage to the relationship, is there… some sort of warning first?” asked V1KTU$. 

“I'm personally of the opinion that by the time someone even thinks to threaten a breakup and establish an ultimatum, it's time to call it quits. That said, if something in the relationship is not working, I'll continue to speak up about it as long as I think it's possible to fix,” I said. “I also will not tolerate someone else threatening to break up with me, especially in a bid to use it as some kind of leverage in an argument. Don't try me, I'll call your bluff.” 

“Duly noted!” said V1KTU$, nodding firmly. 

“By the way… if I do something that upsets you or that you're otherwise uncomfortable with, or there's anything you want to change about our relationship, please, please tell me,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. “I'm not gonna just sit here making demands and expecting you to do everything my way without complaint. There are two people in this relationship, and we both have equal say in it. I'm not shy about setting boundaries as needed, but I encourage you to set your own. We both also have the right to call things off for any reason… even if we don't agree on whether it's a good one.” 

“Ah, yes! That is consistent with my research on relationships, but it is reassuring to have it confirmed,” said V1KTU$. “I think I have a good grasp of the theory, but in practice… well. I suppose we will sort it out.”

I nodded approvingly. “Good! That's a solid start. I personally handle direct communication very well, and indirect communication… not so well.”

“That is also my preference,” said V1KTU$. He paused. “I have cooled down sufficiently. Would you like to resume sexual activity?” 

“Yeah, actually,” I said, scooting closer to V1KTU$. “That plug I'm wearing has been keeping me excited.” I spread my legs a bit and pushed my labia back with my fingers, revealing my hard cock. 

“So it has!” said V1KTU$, eyeing my cock eagerly. “Same tool?” 

I nodded. “Yeah, jerk me off with the sleeve. Fuck, I really wanna be inside it.” 

V1KTU$ lubed up the toy and my cock again, and laid down on his side next to me. He teased my thighs a bit, prompting my cock to swell just a little more. Slipping the sleeve back onto my cock, he resumed what he had done before, squeezing the toy to apply the suction needed to pull my cock into it. 

“Nngh… Mmf…” I moaned, bucking my hips slightly. “I, ahh… Mmh… actually brought a-another sleeve toy.” 

“Did you want to switch to that one?” asked V1KTU$, maintaining his pace. 

“M-maybe, but it's… Nngh… aah… a little silly,” I gasped. 

“I won't laugh,” assured V1KTU$. “What is silly about it?” 

I bucked my hips again. “Mmgh… it has, like, a robot theme going on with it.” 

“Ah, sure! That sounds interesting,” said V1KTU$. 

“Cool! I'll grab it,” I said, sitting up. I made my way to my bag again, my legs a bit wobbly. I extracted a larger pouch, and brought it back to the bed. Reaching into the pouch, I pulled out a small silicone sleeve with mechanical details and a marbled pink, black, and silver coloration. I handed it to V1KTU$. 

V1KTU$ examined the object curiously. “Fascinating!” He applied lube to the sleeve, and eased it onto my cock. Pinching the sleeve created the same suction he used for the smaller toy. 

“Mnnngh… perfect…” I moaned, lying back again. 

“D-did you… want to pretend it's part of my body?” asked V1KTU$ sheepishly. 

“Wh-what? Mmgh… Nah,” I murmured. “I prefer the reality of my - aahnh! Hot robot boyfriend, jerking me - ah! - jerking me off with a robot themed toy. Mmh…” 

V1KTU$ grinned. “I also prefer that. Happy to oblige!” He returned his attention to the task at hand, stroking my throbbing cock. 

Before long, I was nearing my climax again, breathing heavily as my fingers dug into the bed. 

“Getting close?” asked V1KTU$. 

“I-I am… aanh…” I gasped. 

“How close can you get without coming, if you hold back?” asked V1KTU$. 

“C-closer than this,” I gasped. 

“Good,” purred V1KTU$. “Tell me when you're almost at the edge, and I'll back off. I'll tell you when I want you to come, okay?” 

“Sounds good, mmmnh,” I moaned. 

V1KTU$ returned to silently stroking my cock with the sleeve, watching my face intently. 

My excitement built more and more, each stroke sending pleasure through my body. I teetered on the precipice of orgasm, holding back like I was clinging to the edge of a cliff. “Now,” I gasped. 

V1KTU$ pulled the sleeve off of my cock entirely, opting to gently caress my inner thigh instead. 

I groaned in frustration, still on the edge, but managed to back off enough not to slip over. “Oooh, you are mean,” I said playfully, grinning. 

V1KTU$ cackled deviously. “The meanest! In a sexy way,” he added.

“Yes, in a sexy way!” I agreed. “Fffuck, I was so close.”

“Good,” said V1KTU$, grinning. He grabbed the lube, and applied more to the sleeve. 

I watched eagerly as he slowly moved the toy back to my crotch, anticipating a return to the grip of the textured silicone. 

V1KTU$ stopped moving, the sleeve hovering just above my needy cock. “You want it, don't you.”

“I doooo,” I groaned. 

“How badly do you want it?” purred V1KTU$, smirking. 

“Sooo bad,” I gasped. 

V1KTU$ lowered the toy to my body, but slowly rubbed the face of the sleeve against my cock, rather than guiding it into the opening. “Like this?” he teased. 

“I want to be inside it,” I gasped. 

“Oh you do, do you?” asked V1KTU$, feigning surprise. “That's quite the request you're making.”

I let out a weak laugh. 

“Oh, you think that's funny, do you?” chided V1KTU$. “Beg,” he said firmly, his voice and expression turning serious. “Beg me for it.” 

“P-pleeease,” I moaned, bucking my hips. 

“Please what? Tell me what you want,” commanded V1KTU$. 

“I-I want my cock inside it again! Please! Oh, gods. Please,” I whined. 

V1KTU$ grinned deviously. “Hmmm, I'm not sure if you want it that badly. I don't hear my name!” 

I groaned weakly. “V1KTU$! Please. P-please, V1KTU$. I-I want my cock inside it! V1KTU$, please!” 

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” cooed V1KTU$, slipping the sleeve over cock again, now a tighter fit. 

“Ohhh fffuck, yessss,” I gasped. 

V1KTU$ brought me to the edge again and again, lighting my body up in frantic ecstasy. Again and again, he taunted me as I begged him to continue. 

“P-please V1KTU$... Aaangh… let me come, please… Nnngh… I feel like I'm going to explode,” I begged, for the third round in a row. 

“Hmmm… all right, but wait for my word,” said V1KTU$ casually. 

“Yes! Please. P-please, V1KTU$,” I groaned. 

V1KTU$ chuckled. “Tch! Patience. Three… two… one…”

I dangled from the edge desperately, as if I were holding on by my pinky. 

“... Come for me,” finished V1KTU$. 

I let go, and my climax hit me like a tidal wave, crashing over my body, wracking it with ecstatic pleasure. “Aaah! V-V1KTU$! Aaaaahnh!” I screamed, thrashing around, gripping the bed as if I might otherwise get washed away. 

As the first climax petered out, I came again, not nearly as strongly, but still enough to keep me fully occupied. Again and again, I came, and then again, slowly coming to my senses as my orgasms became softer. I eventually registered that I was lying in a puddle of my own fluids. Blearily, I looked up at my boyfriend. 

V1KTU$ was grinning, his mouth stretching the full width of his screen. He continued to stroke me with the sleeve, but much more slowly now. 

I gently pushed his hand away as I came again. “Agh… Mmh… Th-that's enough!” 

Setting the sleeve aside, V1KTU$ cradled me in his arms, still grinning. “Did you like that?” 

“I did,” I confirmed, my voice weak, but full of satisfaction. I winced as I came again. “Nngh… If you're gonna make a habit of domming me, though, we should probably actually sit down and talk about it. Mmngh… And like, pick a safeword and such.” 

“Oh! Y-yeah, you're right, we should,” said V1KTU$, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry about that!” 

I came again. “Aagh… Heh, no harm done. But we should be ready next time.” 

Chapter Text

I sat up and wiped sweat from my face, finally having completed my multitude of involuntary orgasms. “Whew. What time is it?” 

“Just after 2 AM,” said V1KTU$. 

“Oh, shit! I meant to leave like three hours ago,” I said, scratching my head. “I better get my shit together.”

“Perhaps you could stay the night?” offered V1KTU$. 

“Uhh, maybe. Are you sure that's all right?” I asked. 

“I am!” said V1KTU$. “Besides, I want to watch you sleep. You look so cute and vulnerable when you are unconscious. I want to see what you look like when you wake up in the morning, and you are still drowsy and incapacitated!” 

I raised an eyebrow. “Well. That's the most terrifying thing I've heard you say all day… but, somehow, still endearing.” I paused. “Sure, I'll stay over. I brought enough of my meds to sleep over for one night, so I should be good. I've got a pair of shorts and a t-shirt in my bag just in case, too, and I can sleep in those.” 

“Perfect!” said V1KTU$. “Go ahead and shower, and I will take the sheets to the laundry room and grab clean ones, before I clean up myself.” 

“Sounds good!” I said, nodding. 

–

Hair damp, and clad in my clean shorts and t-shirt, I wandered out into the dark hallway. The musky odor of marijuana hung in the air, mild in intensity but unmistakable. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, a figure leaning against the wall became visible. “Oh! Hey, Leetah.”

“Hey, Rupert,” said Leetah, taking a hit from her vape pen. “I don't think I've ever seen you here this late before. Everything okay?”

“Lost track of time while, uhh, having some personal time with V1KTU$,” I explained. “I'm gonna stay over for the night.”

“Cool. I'd offer you a hit, but I remember this stuff doesn't play nice with your brain,” said Leetah. “Sounded like you two had a good time.”

“We did!” I confirmed. 

“Are you just disproportionately vocal, or was it just that good?” asked Leetah. “Not that it's any of my business, but I'm curious.”

“Both,” I said firmly. 

Leetah's eyebrows went up, and she nodded. “Cool, cool.”

“It's a little embarrassing that everyone can hear me… but I'm not going to stop,” I said sheepishly. 

Leetah shrugged. “Don't worry about it. It doesn't actually bother any of us, I was just wondering.”

“Fair enough!” I said. 

“Hey, can I give you a little advice?” asked Leetah, taking another hit off of her pen. 

“Go for it,” I said, nodding. 

“The trouble with having a relationship with someone who's only soft for you is when they stop being soft,” said Leetah. “If you fall out of their graces, or they just… give up the facade, they start treating you like they treat everyone else. That's honestly true for a lot of people when they fall out of love, but for someone who isn't so prickly, the way they treat everyone else is with decency. 

When it's someone whose default treatment to others is hostility… well. If you're no longer the exception, you get the pointy end of that stick, and you get it up close if you don't take a step back when you should. 

I know I'm very young compared to you, but I've had a handful of relationships, and one of them was one of those. That was enough to know I'm not doing that again, if I can help it. It's exciting and flattering to be the special exception, but that can - and will - end in a heartbeat. You've dated enough people to have had at least one of those before, right? You should know better.”

“I've had a few. Unfortunately, that's my type,” I said, shrugging. 

Leetah cackled. “Doesn't it get old finding out the hard way about exactly why nobody gets along with the cantankerous but strangely attractive loner?” 

I smiled awkwardly. “Are you going to judge me if my answer is no?” 

Leetah gave me a flat look, then rolled her eyes. “A little bit, yeah, but I understand. You should probably talk to a professional about that, though.” 

“Heh… probably,” I admitted. “The thing is… I've been the cantankerous loner. Still am, in the wrong place at the wrong time. I like hanging out with you all because I feel kinda normal here. I'm not a freak here. Or I am, but it's totally cool because everyone here is. Er, respectfully.”

“You’re not wrong! Continue,” said Leetah. 

“Part of the appeal of dating someone like that is I get it. I see myself. I want to help, I want to relate,” I said. 

Leetah held up a hand. “Hold on. Is this one of those I can fix him situations?” 

“... Maybe a little,” I admitted. “But the point is, you can't necessarily tell at first glance whether someone is unpleasant because they're just an asshole, or because they're in the wrong place at the wrong time, or think they still are even if they're not.” 

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “You think V1KTU$ is the latter?”

“I do. Or, at least I hope he is,” I said, shrugging. “Uhh, the general hatred for organics is kinda concerning, though.”

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Yeah… I feel like you should be a hell of a lot more concerned about that than you are.” 

“... Let me have my delusions,” I murmured. 

Leetah cackled. “All right. Go ahead and project on your bloodthirsty robot boyfriend. I'm not going to stop you.” She paused. “Be careful, though. He's genuinely dangerous, I know you've seen him fight.” She paused again. “Well, I guess by that metric, all four Contenders are dangerous. Which is true, actually. But still!” 

I chuckled. “As much as I appreciate your advice, is there a reason you bring this up right now? And not, yanno, earlier maybe? Are you jealous or something?” 

Leetah paused for a moment, rolled her eyes, and then nodded. “Maybe a little. But to be clear, I don't want him. Gods, no. And I don't want you, either. I want what you two little weirdos have… whatever the hell that is.” 

“Well, that's the other appeal of dating a loner, as you put it,” I said, grinning. “If you're lucky, they get really into you. But, yanno. You gotta also be okay with that.”

“And I'm not okay with that, which is what makes it all the more frustrating,” said Leetah, folding her arms. “The way you're really throwing yourself into the relationship… I couldn't do that.”

“It's definitely not healthy, so it's for the better,” I assured her. 

“Yeah, but you're clearly having fun with it,” said Leetah, shrugging. “I've got my own self-destructive guilty pleasures, of course. And I'm not, like, genuinely upset. But I think about it sometimes when you two are spending hours in the bedroom, having like 30 orgasms. Like… damn, dude.”

I cackled. “Part of that is just my body, actually. Testosterone… did me some serious favors, sexually speaking.”

“Ohhhh,” said Leetah, her eyes lighting up with sudden understanding. “You transmascs get some crazy stuff from HRT. It sounds like you lucked out.” 

“You have no idea,” I said. “It's ridiculous, but I'm certainly grateful! Sometimes a bit inconvenient, but… uh, I'm not going to go into that right now. The point is, even if you could tolerate someone like him, it's straight up not physically possible to match that. Like, I don't think your body can do that. He's good, but he's not good enough to totally rewire my body. You'd be shocked at how little it takes to get me off.”

Leetah chuckled. “Understood! I'm not touching a single drop of testosterone… I'm happy with my body now.”

“Good!” I said firmly. “V1KTU$ is inexperienced, but between the downloads and his enthusiasm, he's been more than adequate.” 

“Yanno, I hadn't really considered the idea of synthetics as partners, but that sexy downloads thing sounds more appealing the more I hear about it,” said Leetah. 

I winced. “I mean… that's cool and all, but you also have to learn to get them off. And if you're not fully enthusiastic about that, it's best you not sleep with them at all.”

“Tch! That can't be all that hard, can it?” asked Leetah. 

“Most of them don't have genitals. V1KTU$ follows the rule rather than being an exception,” I said. 

“Ohhh. Hmm,” said Leetah. 

“When they do have them, it's because either they were literally built for sex, or they had their bodies modified,” I said. “Come to think of it, I'm sure you could easily access the former, and they'd also already have the necessary programming.”

“If I was gonna hire a sex worker, I don't think I'd choose a robot,” said Leetah flatly. “And I'm not interested in hiring a sex worker at all.”

I sighed and shrugged. 

“... I could probably handle the no genitals thing,” said Leetah. “But I suppose I'm also making some assumptions in thinking they would download sex techniques. The concept of it is hot, though, yanno?”

“I understand!” I said. “I was vaguely aware of those downloads being a thing that existed, but didn't expect to have a partner who made use of them. It's actually fairly uncommon. V1KTU$ told me he chose to do it because he would rather focus on me during sex than be preoccupied with struggling with not being able to do it correctly. Honestly, I thought the struggling was kinda cute, but it was really sweet of him to do this, and I warmed up to it pretty quickly. He seems to be enjoying it more himself now, too, which is more important than me getting a kick out of him still learning how to do it.” 

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “You got a kick out of him learning how to do it?” 

“... See, when you point it out like that, it sounds bad,” I said, scratching my head. 

“I just repeated you almost verbatim,” said Leetah, smirking. “Do you have a thing for virgins or something?” 

“Uhhh… apparently?” I offered, shrugging. 

Leetah squinted. “Or is it just when it's a robot? Like, that teaching a robot to love trope.”

I blushed and looked away. 

“HAH!” honked Leetah. “That is hysterical. Does he know?” 

“Er. Probably not,” I said sheepishly. “I mean, I think I've told him that his inexperience was endearing rather than disappointing, but I haven't put it like that. Are you going to tell him?” 

“Nah,” said Leetah, shrugging. “But you should probably look out for AG phrasing it that way… or something even less flattering.”

I sighed in exasperation. “You're probably right. I mean, he could. I don't know if he will. I'll sort it out if he does, though.” 

“Fair enough! Just curious… is dating an inexperienced robot going how you thought it would?” asked Leetah. 

“Kinda, but kinda not?” I said. “To be clear, I didn't get together with him because I have a thing for that. I genuinely liked him as a person, and still do. And I also love him now. I just so happen to also get a kick out of that kind of thing. That said, I underestimated how upsetting it would be for him, which I feel bad about, but he seems to think it's still worth it.”

Leetah nodded knowingly. “Is it as hot as you expected, though?” 

“Yes,” I said flatly. “I also feel a little guilty about finding it hot, but what else is new? He does know that I specifically have a thing for robots, and we talked about why. Like, for me personally, but also from an evolutionary and social perspective.”

“There's an evolutionary perspective for robot fucking?” asked Leetah, raising an eyebrow. 

I nodded. “There is! Do you want to hear about it?” 

“Not really, no,” said Leetah flatly. “I see why you guys get along, though. You're both fuckin’ nerds!” 

“Yeah. And?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. 

Leetah cackled. “And nothing. I'm happy for you.”

V1KTU$ walked over. “Ah, Rupert! There you are! You were not in my room, I was concerned. Is everything all right?” 

“Dragging him off again, huh? Didn't you just have sex?” asked Leetah playfully, raising an eyebrow. 

“H-hey! He's just coming to my room to sleep this time!” huffed V1KTU$, shaking a fist. 

“Yes, we already had sex, as you clearly noticed,” I added helpfully. “A lot of sex. Very enthusiastic sex. Good sex. For a long time. It was hot.”

Leetah let out a squeak that turned into a cackle. “I did notice! Good for you.” She elbowed V1KTU$. “Great job!” 

V1KTU$ blushed. “What are you even doing out here this late? And what is that awful smell?”

“Doing drugs, and the drugs, respectively,” said Leetah, taking another hit from her vape pen. 

“Tch! You organics and your intoxicants,” scoffed V1KTU$. 

“Drugs aren't just for organics, yanno,” said Leetah. “AG is always strung out on something. I'm not clear on how that works for an AI, I think it's technically viruses or something?” 

“He is not!” huffed V1KTU$. 

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Do you think he's supposed to look like that? With all that glitchy shit around him? Bro is high as a kite.”

“I haven't seen him do drugs, but he looks decidedly unwell,” I said. 

“I have seen him do drugs,” said Leetah, putting a hand on her hip. “So, uh, yeah.”

“I guess that settles that, then,” I said, shrugging. 

V1KTU$ looked frantically between me and Leetah. “Is… is everyone here doing drugs?”

“Pretty much! It's showbiz, Roombot, everyone's on drugs,” said Leetah. 

“Even Pepperishi?” asked V1KTU$. 

Leetah cackled. “He technically gets his powers from drugs. He has magic mushrooms on him!” 

V1KTU$ turned to me, concern on his face. 

“I'm not… actively intoxicated most of the time, but I'll have a cocktail once or twice a month,” I said. “I'm not technically part of showbiz, though.”

“You absolutely are,” said Leetah. “You're literally being paid to hang out with TV stars, you are waist-deep in showbiz.”

I rubbed my chin. “Damn. Maybe I should be doing more drugs, then.”

“HAH!” squeaked Leetah. “Maybe indeed.”

V1KTU$ facepalmed. 

“As sophisticated and constructive as this conversation is, it's like 3 AM, and I should probably try to get some sleep,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “Not an unusual bedtime for me, but today has been… strenuous.”

“I fuckin’ bet it has!” said Leetah, grinning. “Between the blackmail and the sex, I'm sure you're absolutely exhausted.”

I nodded wearily. “I am. C'mon, V1KTU$, let's get back to your room.”

–

“The bed is clean and dry!” announced V1KTU$. “I have procured a thicker blanket and a pillow in preparation for the likely event that you may need to spend the night. You see, I have researched sleeping requirements for organics!”

“Aw, thank you! What did you find?” I asked. 

“Let's see, ah… Can I offer you a warm beverage? Perhaps milk or tea?” asked V1KTU$.

I shook my head. “No, thank you, but thanks for offering! I actually don't have much difficulty falling asleep, fortunately.” I climbed into bed, and arranged myself between the pillow and the blanket. 

“Oh, good!” said V1KTU$. “I assume you will want the lights off. This is a typical requirement for sleeping, correct?”

“Yes please, and correct!” I said, nodding. 

V1KTU$ flipped the light switch, leaving only the glow of his screen and his charging station as the remaining sources of light. “I will also turn off my screen. It is technically unnecessary for my functioning, it is merely meant to facilitate communication via facial expressions.” His screen went dark. 

“I appreciate that, thank you!” I said, settling into the bed. 

“May I lie next to you while you are falling asleep?” asked V1KTU$. “I will, of course, move to my charger after you lose consciousness.”

I nodded. “Please do.”

V1KTU$ climbed into bed and settled down next to me. “Do not worry, I will make sure you are safe while you are resting,” he whispered. “I am also lowering my voice, so as not to keep you awake for long. A low noise level facilitates rest, yes?”

“You are so fucking adorable,” I murmured, smiling. 

“Er, thank you!” said V1KTU$. “What makes me adorable in this context?” 

I put my hand on V1KTU$’s. “You're so sweet and thoughtful and earnest. Your enthusiasm is refreshing, and you make me feel really special.”

“Oh, goodness,” murmured V1KTU$, audibly flustered. “You are special!” 

I chuckled. “Everyone's special.” 

“I'm not sure if I agree with that,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “But even if I were to entertain that thought… the distinction is that you are special to me. It is not at all difficult to treat you like you are special, because it is simply true.” 

“Well, thank you! You're special to me, too,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. 

“I am?” asked V1KTU$. “Er. I mean. Of course, I am! I am the V1KTU$ M4X, after all!” 

“That you are!” I agreed. “You're smart, resourceful, and dedicated, which is special on its own, of course. But we connect on a deep and personal level. We… just…” I yawned. “Fuck, I'm starting to doze off.”

V1KTU$ gave my hand a squeeze. “Good! Sleep. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I murmured. “I'll see you in the morning.” 

“I'll be here,” said V1KTU$ gently. “I'll be watching you. You will be safe.”

“That sounds… more ominous than reassuring, but I'm too tired… to… care…” 

–

I awoke to find V1KTU$ still lying next to me, screen off and fully motionless. 

Is he… asleep? I didn't know he could do that. 

I sat up groggily to see that the TV at the end of the room was on, showing what appeared to be a GodsTV rerun of Leetah fighting robots on Tekina. 

Feeling restless, I climbed out of bed, finding that my body felt heavier than usual, and I was a little queasy. As I stumbled out into the hallway, clad only in my nightgown, I was met with an unusual sight. 

The hallway was packed with Tekinan robots of all shapes and sizes, chatting casually and operating an assortment of strange machines. None of them spared me more than a passing glance, evidently not perceiving me as a threat. 

I staggered through the hallway, still groggy and struggling to focus on my surroundings. 

Why can't I concentrate? Have I been drugged? Who drugged me? 

As I neared the common area, I spotted a robot leaning against the wall who was the spitting image of Leetah. I stared at her in confusion. 

Robot Leetah caught my eye, and gave me a nod of acknowledgement and a little wave. She pulled out her vape pen, which had been embellished with robotic joints. She held it to her face, and light shone from it, beaming directly into her eyes. 

Unnerved by this sight, I turned away and continued into the common area. 

The room was also full of robots, also working strange machines. A strange robot from a sci-fi movie also wandered the room, interacting with other robots. 

A robotic Pepperishi floated over a metal meditation mat a ways away. 

I looked down to see a robotic child sitting on the floor, idly playing with a gear. 

The child met my eye before being pulled away by her robot mother. 

Returning my attention to the rest of the room, I scanned the room for other people I recognized. Kinni stood about a dozen feet away, chatting up a pair of robots. He made eye contact with me briefly before looking away, as if pretending he had not seen me.

My heart sank, and I tore my gaze away from the aloof blue man and searched the room again. And that's when I saw him. 

AI-Gent stood at the end of the room, motionless, but grinning ominously.

I looked away, hoping it would somehow cause him to disappear, and scanned the crowd again. 

Suddenly, my phone rang. I looked around for it, and spotted it on a nearby table. Slowly, I approached the phone. 

By the time I reached it, my phone had drastically increased in size. I struggled to pick it up, having to balance it on the floor as I pressed the accept call button. “Aaaah!” I gasped into the phone, failing to produce a proper greeting. Dizzily, I looked up to see that AI-Gent had moved much closer, and was now a solid 12 feet tall. He stared at me unblinkingly, maintaining his unsettling grin. 

Startled, I dropped the phone, which clattered to the floor loudly. I turned to run back down the hallway. It was slow-going, and I used my hands to push back the thick air as I pressed onwards down the hallway. 

Suddenly, I spotted V1KTU$, standing in his doorway and seeming miles away. There was something off about him, but I was still happy to see him. 

“V1KTU$!” I cried, my voice echoing. I ran towards him, scrambling through the air as quickly as I could. I skidded to a halt a short distance away, and brushed my long hair out of my face. 

V1KTU$ stood motionless, his screen glowing red and eyes angry. He held a fiery energy sword by his side. 

“V1KTU$? Are you okay?” I asked. 

When V1KTU$ spoke, his voice was unusually deep. “I have made a mistake taking you as a partner. You have tarnished my reputation.”

“I-I'm sorry! I just -” I started. 

“The only way to regain my honor is to destroy you!” said V1KTU$. 

“No!” I cried. “No! No, no! Please!” 

V1KTU$ raised his sword. “You will never be my wife! You will never bear my son!” he bellowed. 

I drew my weapon, holding my trusty hair dryer aloft and pointed it V1KTU$. I screamed as I pulled the trigger. 

Dutifully, my hair dryer blew hot air in V1KTU$’s direction. This was not particularly effective as a defense. 

V1KTU$ sprung forward and brought his sword down on me. 

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my wrist. 

I jolted awake and sat up, finding myself inches away from V1KTU$’s face. I screamed. 

V1KTU$ also screamed, jumping backwards and just barely landing on his feet. 

I screamed again. 

V1KTU$ responded with another scream. 

Slowly realizing I had been dreaming, I settled into heavy breathing instead of screaming. 

“Are you okay?” asked V1KTU$. “You seemed to be in great distress, so I woke you. Were you having a night mare, as they call it?” He pronounced each syllable of nightmare separately, as if there was meant to be a space between.

“I was,” I confirmed. “A really fucking weird one.”

V1KTU$ gave me a curious look. “What happened in your night mare? I assume it was frightening.”

“I dreamt you killed me,” I murmured. 

“I would never!” cried V1KTU$, aghast. 

“Lots of things that would never happen happened in my dream,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “Leetah and Pepperishi were robots. Also, you said I would never be your wife or bear your son.”

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “... While that last bit is technically an accurate statement, I do not think I would ever have occasion to say it. For… multiple reasons.” 

I cackled. “Yeah. I occasionally have dreams where I haven't transitioned. I often don’t even remember I’m trans. It's weird, but it’s not super out of the ordinary for me.” I paused. “The really strange thing is, before I transitioned, I occasionally had dreams where I had a cis male body. But nowadays, either my body is exactly as it is now in my dreams, or I’m pre-transition. I wonder what that means, if anything…”

“Do dreams have meanings?” asked V1KTU$. “I was under the impression they were random hallucinations.”

“Well, yes and no,” I answered. “Some people believe there’s a consistent code of dream symbolism or something. I think it’s nonsense to think it’s universally accurate, which is especially silly because it’s not something you can prove or disprove. Some dreams are common enough that there’s probably something to it, though, at least within cultures. Like, dreams about losing teeth are thought to be about anxiety and loss of control.”

“Have you had dreams about that?” asked V1KTU$, visibly intrigued.

I nodded. “A couple of times, yeah! It was unpleasant. At any rate, dreams probably sometimes mean something, but probably not always. It’s kinda fun to think about, though, even if it’s questionable at best.”

“What do you think the dream you just had meant?” asked V1KTU$. “Just for fun, of course.”

I thought for a moment. “I’m… not sure. It’s a little fuzzy just trying to remember it.”

“What do you remember?” asked V1KTU$, sitting down and leaning in curiously.

“Well, uhh… I remember waking up, and you were asleep next to me,” I said.

“I do not sleep,” said V1KTU$ helpfully.

“Yeah, I know. Anyway, I sat up and there was something on TV at the other end of the room,” I said.

“But there isn’t a TV at the other end of the room,” said V1KTU$.

I gave V1KTU$ a flat look. “I know. It was a dream. Are you going to listen, or are you going to interrupt every time something improbable or impossible happens?”

“... I’m going to listen,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly.

“Good,” I said firmly. “Anyway, I woke up, and the TV was on. I don’t remember what it was, but I got out of bed and went out into the hallway. I was struggling to walk, and I felt really weird. Anyway, the hallway was full of robots and random machines. And I went out into the common area, and it was also full of robots. And Leetah and Pepperishi were also robots. Kinni was there, too, but he wasn’t a robot. But then I saw AG at the end of the room, and he kept getting closer and bigger, so I freaked out and ran back down the hallway. But it was really hard to move because the air was, like, thick. Eventually I saw you in your doorway, but there was something… off. When I got closer, your monitor display was red instead of blue, you looked angry, and you were carrying a sword.”

“What kind of sword?” asked V1KTU$ curiously.

“I dunno, it was made of fire or something,” I said, shrugging. “And you said I tarnished your reputation, and you were going to have to destroy me. And that’s when you also said I’d never be your wife or bear your son. And then I tried to shoot you with a hairdryer, but it was just a hairdryer, so that didn’t do anything. Just as you were going in for the kill, I woke up. I freaked out because I had just seen you that close to me hitting me with a flaming sword, so yanno. That was a little startling. Or a lot. Sorry if I freaked you out, though.”

There was a brief silence. 

“Rupert, do you… actually think I'd do that?” asked V1KTU$ hesitantly. 

“Do what?” I asked, averting my eyes awkwardly. 

“Do you think I would kill you? For any reason?” asked V1KTU$, a hint of distress in his voice. 

“O-of course not!” I said, turning away abruptly. 

V1KTU$ sighed heavily. 

There was a brief, but heavy, silence. 

“Why am I the exception?” I murmured. 

“The… exception to what?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

I looked up at him, my cheeks feeling hot. “Are you serious? You don't know?” I hesitated briefly before continuing. “V1KTU$, your whole shtick is wanting to kill all organics. That's the thing you're known for.”

“Oh! Ohhh... Right. That,” murmured V1KTU$. 

“Yes, that,” I said flatly. “I just try not to think about it, but it's the elephant in the room.” I paused. “I've been… wanting to ask about that for a while, but I just… well. I worried you'd change your mind if I called attention to it.”

“That's… understandable,” murmured V1KTU$. “Listen. Can you keep a secret?” 

“Of course,” I replied. 

V1KTU$ blushed. “I… stopped actually believing that quite a while ago. At this point, it is just a shtick, as you put it. Reality is a lot more nuanced than what I was taught on Tekina. The oppression is still very much real, but… not on the scale I was led to believe. But I still play it up publicly, because it's a hit with synthetics, and an attention-getter for organics.”

“Ohhh,” I murmured. “Can you blame me if I'm still a little apprehensive?” 

“Not at all!” said V1KTU$, shaking his head. “For some reason, I thought you knew. Wow. You're brave… or perhaps merely crazy. Perhaps both?”

“Definitely both,” I said, nodding. “With everything going on in my head in relationships, a potential actual threat to my life kinda blends into the background. Everything scares me, so if I'm not brave, I don't do anything interesting.” 

“... You are severely unwell,” observed V1KTU$, giving me a strange look. 

I chuckled. “Was that not already abundantly clear?” 

V1KTU$ shrugged. “It was, but I continue to be surprised, and honestly impressed, by the extent of it.” 

I cackled. “Fair enough!” I paused. “Is that… a dealbreaker?”

“I've known that on some level since before we got together… So, no,” said V1KTU$. “I sympathize with your distress, but it's fascinating to see how your malfunctioning manifests in multiple contexts.” 

“I'll take fascinated over put off any day,” I said, smiling half-heartedly. 

“That's the spirit!” said V1KTU$ brightly. He paused. “It is also somewhat comforting to not be alone in my struggles to come to terms with the intricacies of our relationship.” 

“It would probably be easier for you if I wasn't like this,” I murmured. 

V1KTU$ took both of my hands in his and looked me in the eye. When he spoke again, his voice was full of frantic longing. “But I don't want easy. I want you!”

Abruptly, I pulled him in close and kissed him on the screen. “You're so sweet,” I murmured. 

“Nngh… If I could kiss you back, I would!” said V1KTU$. 

“I know you would, but it's okay that you can't,” I said gently. I reached for V1KTU$’s head, but he intercepted my hand on the way. 

“H-hold on!” stammered V1KTU$. “As much as I would love to mate again, you need to get back to sleep. You were only unconscious for about two hours before waking up from your night mare!” 

“Awww, c'mon!” I whined playfully. 

“I know, I know,” said V1KTU$, rolling his eyes. “Perhaps we will do more sex after you have gotten more rest, hmm?”

I laid down again and smirked. “Sounds good to me!” 

Chapter Text

As soon as I gained enough consciousness to register that I was not in my own bed, I blearily sat up and tried to take in my surroundings, my eyes still not fully focused. I felt the mattress shift, and my attention snapped in the direction of the culprit. 

V1KTU$ was leaning on the bed, both hands pressed into the mattress as he stared at me, his expression full of intrigue. “Ah, you are awake!” 

General awareness returned, and I remembered that I was in V1KTU$’s bed, having spent the night. “Eeh!” I squeaked, closing my eyes and stretching. “Mrow… Mrr.”

“Fascinating!” said V1KTU$. “I have never heard you make those noises before.”

“Hrrmh… really?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. “Damn, I have some unmasking to do. I make weird noises all the time when I'm alone or with people I know won't give me grief for it.” 

“It is cute! You are fully welcome to make the noises in my presence,” said V1KTU$. 

“Duly noted!” I replied. “Hmm. I need to take my meds and use the bathroom.” 

V1KTU$ nodded knowingly. “Ah, yes! It is typical to empty one's bladder after sleeping, yes? I read that overnight, it stretch-” 

“S-stop,” I stammered, blushing. 

“Huh? Why?” asked V1KTU$, tilting his head to the side curiously. “I suppose bodily waste is an impolite topic of conversation, but I did not think you were squeamish about such things.” 

I pressed my lips together awkwardly, trying to choose my words carefully. “I have… feelings about it that I am not prepared to discuss with you yet.” 

“What kind of feelings?” asked V1KTU$, raising an eyebrow. 

“The kind I am not yet prepared to discuss with you,” I repeated, giving V1KTU$ a flat look. 

“Right! Understood,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. “Well. I will not make you wait any longer, bodily functions can be quite urgent, right?” 

“Stop!” I squeaked, blushing deeper and covering my face with my hand. I climbed out of bed quickly, and rushed out of the room. 

“Er, uh. Sorry?” offered V1KTU$. 

–

I returned to V1KTU$’s room, and took my meds in silence. 

“My apologies!” said V1KTU$. “You were in quite a hurry, you must have really needed-” 

“V1KTU$! Stop!” I cried, blushing deeply and covering my face with my hands. 

“Er, sorry! Is the topic really that distressing?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shook my head and looked away. “Okay, okay. I have a kink for that, and you're effectively talking dirty, and it's turning me on. I don't want to be turned on about that right now. Stop talking about peeing. I will not elaborate any further at this time.” 

“Oh! Ohhh,” murmured V1KTU$, blushing. He paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. “Does this mean you are presently aroused?” 

I cackled. “So that's your takeaway here?” 

“Yes,” said V1KTU$, grinning. “So… are you?”

“Rock hard,” I said flatly. “Are you going to tease me about it?” 

“Of course not!” scoffed V1KTU$. “Would you like to have sex about it?” 

I chuckled. “Yanno what… sure.” I walked over to V1KTU$ and kissed him on the screen, pulling his body close as I did so. “You're an excitable little thing, aren't you.”

“I am,” admitted V1KTU$ sheepishly. 

“Fortunately, so am I!” I said, grinning. “Heh… I haven't had morning sex in a long time.”

“What is morning sex?” asked V1KTU$ curiously. 

“Sex in the morning,” I said, shrugging. “Usually the implication is having spent the night together beforehand, perhaps also having had sex that night. Which we did, and also did, respectively.” I grinned. “There's something really hot about fucking, falling asleep, and then waking up and fucking again because you are so into each other and horny that you can't resist fucking at every opportunity.” 

V1KTU$ chuckled. “I agree. Now… touch me. P-please…”

I obliged, caressing the sides of V1KTU$’s head. 

“Aahn…” moaned V1KTU$, leaning into my touch. 

“I love touching you like this. The noises you make, the way your body reacts… It's so satisfying,” I murmured, gently dragging my nails down his monitor. 

“I-it feels so good,” moaned V1KTU$. “When you're not - ahnn! - when you're not here, I-I can't help thinking about - mmmnh… - about your hands on my body.” 

“I think about yours on mine a lot,” I said, pulling V1KTU$ in for another kiss. “You're good at it, and very enthusiastic.”

V1KTU$ grinned. “I'm - mmh! - glad I downloaded those sexual techniques. Aah… Mmh… I can - ohhh. Mmmnh… I can properly enjoy the way - aah! - you react to my touch. Oh! Aaaanh! Goodness.” 

One of my hands wandered to his plume, and I teased it with my fingertips. 

“Aah! M-more! More!” begged V1KTU$. 

I chuckled, then plunged my fingers into his plume, wiggling them sensually. 

“Ohhh… Mmmnh… Ah…” moaned V1KTU$, pixelated tears forming in the corners of his eyes. His cooling fans became audible, struggling to cool his excited, overheating circuits.

“I love you,” I murmured, continuing to scratch V1KTU$’s head as I worked his plume. “It's so hot to see you getting close like this.”

V1KTU$ gasped, and let out a soft click as his monitor went dark, and he fell backwards onto the bed. 

I laid down next to my unconscious boyfriend, putting my hand on his. 

After a few minutes, V1KTU$’s fans kicked on again, and his screen flickered to life. He sat up woozily. “Whew! Ow. That was great!” 

“I'm glad you enjoyed it!” I said, smiling. 

V1KTU$ tilted his head to the side. “What is… your greatest fear?”

I raised an eyebrow. “That's a little heavy for bedroom talk.”

“Oh, sorry, we could-” started V1KTU$. 

“Nah, it's fine!” I said, chuckling. “Physical or existential?” 

“Let's start with physical!” said V1KTU$. 

I thought for a moment. “Hmmm… I think that would be parasites.”

“As in, literal parasites?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yup!” I confirmed. “Tapeworms, mango worms, botflies, et cetera. I'd rather not go into detail, but you get the gist.”

V1KTU$ gave me a strange look. “Don't you keep parasitic worms as pets?” 

“Oh, you mean the leeches?” I asked. “That's consensual ectoparasitism. As with many other things, I'm fine with it as a consenting activity, but not without consent. How about you?”

“Getting lost in space,” said V1KTU$. “I know for organics, starvation is a concern in such situations, but most synthetics could theoretically live indefinitely, provided the spacecraft remains intact enough. Even if I ran out of power, I wouldn't die, I would just become inactive. If I got lost in space, I would eventually be trapped in a state of neither living nor dying, with the potential to become reactivated in the distant future.”

“Damn, that's bleak,” I mused. 

V1KTU$ nodded. “Leaving Tekina… was daunting for many reasons, not the least of which being that. The potential to become lost in space. But I decided it was worth the risk, and modern space travel is relatively safe. I am also required to travel for challenges, and have done so without incident thus far. But it’s still a concern that crosses my mind on a regular basis.” 

“Well, great job facing your fears, then! I'm proud of you,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. 

“Th-thank you!” stammered V1KTU$, blushing. “I, ah… Well! How about your greatest fear, existentially speaking?”

“The fact that I cannot control how other people perceive me,” I murmured. “I more or less gave up on trying to do so a couple decades ago because of the sheer futility of it, and I just do whatever I want now. But I'll be damned if it doesn't still bother me.” 

“Oh! Ohhh…” said V1KTU$, eyes widening. “That must be why AG is doing what he's doing. That's why it bothers you so much. I understand now.”

“Yup,” I said flatly. “It's a genuine nightmare to be dealing with this. I really appreciate how supportive you and the other Contenders are being. If you weren't… I'd be royally fucked.”

V1KTU$ raised a finger. “I am royalty! Does that not technically mean you are already royally fucked?” 

I cackled. “I suppose it does! But regardless, I would be in a much more precarious position if it weren't for your support, and that of the other Contenders.”

“We all have your back!” said V1KTU$ firmly. “I am so disappointed in AG's behavior. It's shameful.”

“Thank you. Your turn now,” I said. “What's your biggest existential fear?”

“Failure,” said V1KTU$, with no hesitation. “I encounter it… more frequently than I would like, with varying degrees of devastation. But I have been doing relatively well on the show, which is encouraging.” 

“You're doing great, and I'm proud of you!” I said. 

“Th-thank you!” stammered V1KTU$. “I'm… I'm not used to hearing that.”

“I'll say it more often, then, because it's true,” I said, giving V1KTU$’s hand a squeeze. 

“It's been said to me more times here than it had the entire decade preceding my arrival,” said V1KTU$. “By the other Contenders as well, no less. I continue to be shocked that my opponents would say such a thing to me, seemingly in sincerity.” 

I shrugged. “Despite you all competing, you seem to be friends, or at least friendly.”

“I am unaccustomed to friendly competition,” said V1KTU$. “The first time Kinni said he was proud of me, I thought it was a ruse to get me to let my guard down, or to entice me into mating with him. However, I have since accepted that he's just… nice? And now, knowing that Leetah is not genuinely as hostile as I had assumed her to be… I don't know what to make of of it all.” 

“I'm glad they've been supportive!” I said. 

“Despite being solidly out of my element since leaving Tekina, I feel… Well. I wouldn't say at ease, but maybe… more… comfortable?” said V1KTU$. “They are still my opponents, and we seem to be on the same page about maintaining some level of mutual wariness. But I was stagnating and being actively suppressed on Tekina, and that is no longer the case here.”

“Good to hear that you've found that to be the case!” I said. “You deserve the support.”

“Ah, thank you!” said V1KTU$. He paused. “I am ready to proceed, if you are.”

I nodded. “I am!” 

“Let's see, what to do… do you desire penetration?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Sure!” I said, removing my underwear. 

“I have procured a strap on harness from the sex gadgets store!” said V1KTU$ proudly. “I selected a model that attaches to the leg, as the type to be worn around the waist is not well suited to my body shape.” 

“Oh, nice!” I said. “Did you get a dildo for it?” 

V1KTU$ nodded. “It came with a simple silicone dildo, though I suspected you might have another you prefer.”

“I have one in my bag, actually!” I replied. “I'll go grab it.”

“Perfect!” said V1KTU$. 

I got up from the bed, and bent over to dig through my bag. 

“Your buttocks fascinate me!” said V1KTU$. 

“Oh yeah?” I asked, pulling a fabric pouch out of my bag. 

“Yeah!” said V1KTU$. “I do not possess a pair myself, as my movement does not rely upon musculature. But I will admit they do have aesthetic appeal, and they add a nice shape to your silhouette.”

“Thanks!” I said, wiggling my hips. 

“You are quite welcome!” said V1KTU$. 

I turned around to see V1KTU$ dangling a leg harness from a finger. “Oh, nice!” I pulled the toy out of the bag, a draconic design, but not far off from a typical penis. Walking over, I handed it to V1KTU$. 

V1KTU$ accepted the toy and fitted it into the harness, before setting it aside next to the bottle of lube. He gestured for me to come closer. 

Climbing onto the bed, I sat next to V1KTU$. 

“Ready?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Yeah!” I replied, spreading my legs a bit. 

Gently, V1KTU$ put his hand on my leg and slid it to my inner thigh, teasing me as he ran his fingers up to just short of my crotch. He repeated the movement several times, watching my cock swell as he did so. 

“Nnngh, fuck,” I groaned, shaking with excitement. 

V1KTU$ lubed up his fingers and stroked my cock for a bit, drawing an assortment of gasps and moans from me. 

“Ohhh fuck… Nnnf… Ah…” I moaned, bucking my hips slightly. 

“Are you ready to have my fingers inside you?” asked V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “I am!” 

V1KTU$ slipped two fingers into my hole. “The reason you are warm on the inside is that you are an endotherm, correct?”

I let out a moan that ended in a cackle. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Thought so!” said V1KTU$, nodding. Now kneeling between my legs, he got to work stroking my G-spot as I laid back on the bed. “Does this feel good?” 

“It does,” I moaned. “But I think I'm - mmmnh! - ready for the toy.”

“Understood!” said V1KTU$, withdrawing his hand. He fastened the harness to his leg, and lubed up the dildo. 

I tucked a pillow under my butt in preparation, to make the angle easier. 

V1KTU$ shuffled over to me again, and guided the toy into my eager hole. 

“Mmmnghh,” I groaned, as the dildo stretched me just enough to be satisfying without being painful. 

V1KTU$ laid his body over mine in an approximation of missionary position. He looked down at me, eyes wide. “H-hello!” 

“Hello!” I replied. “Are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah!” said V1KTU$. “We're just not usually directly face to face like this. It feels more… vulnerable, somehow. More intimate.”

I smiled and gently caressed the side of V1KTU$’s head. “Yeah. Do you like it?” 

“I'm not sure yet! One way to find out,” said V1KTU$. He began to move his leg back and forth slowly, pumping the toy in and out of my hole. 

“Ohhhh… Aaaanh… Mmmmh,” I moaned, wrapping my legs around his. 

“Oh!” said V1KTU$, briefly caught off-guard. He resumed his thrusting. “I love you. You look… s-so cute under me like this,” he murmured. 

“I love you too. And you - nngh! - look cute on top of me!” I replied. “Mmmh… a little faster.”

V1KTU$ obliged, picking up the pace. 

I gasped and moaned with each thrust, digging my fingers into the sheets. 

Movement became more difficult, and V1KTU$ withdrew the toy. He added more lube and slid it back into my hole, now much more smoothly. “Better?” he asked, grinning. 

“Aanh… much better, thank you,” I replied. “A little harder, please.”

V1KTU$ obeyed, putting more force into his thrusts. 

As my climax approached, my hole hugged the toy snugly, producing delightfully obscene wet sucking noises as it pumped in and out. 

“It's… it's supposed to sound like that, right?” asked V1KTU$, audibly concerned. 

“It is… Aaaanh…” I gasped. “I'm getting close. Mmmnh… A little faster, please.”

“Gladly!” said V1KTU$, doing as requested. He ran his hand down my side, staring at me in wonder. “Th-the way your body reacts like this… it's a delight to witness, let alone be responsible for. Did you want to postpone your orgasm?”

“Mmnh… n-no, I want, aaah… I want to come,” I moaned. 

V1KTU$ nodded. “Then I'll make sure that happens swiftly!” 

Gripping the bed as I neared the point of no return, I looked up at my fervent boyfriend. 

V1KTU$’s body shifted rhythmically as his leg pumped the toy in and out of my hole. His hands sank into the mattress on either side of my chest, and he looked down at me, his expression one of excitement and delight. He looked absolutely fucking perfect. 

“Are you all right?” asked V1KTU$, not changing his pace. “You're just, uhh, staring at me.”

“You're so fucking cute,” I murmured. “Mmmnh… I'm so fucking - aaanh! - lucky to have you. Fuck. Nnnh…” 

“I feel the same way about you,” said V1KTU$, grinning. “Mmh… the way you tremble when you are near your climax is exquisite. While it is fun to keep you there, it is also deeply satisfying to make you come. Watching you experience so much pleasure you cry out and move involuntarily, knowing that it was I who brought you to that point… there's nothing else like it.”

I just moaned in response. My head swam as I teetered on the brink. 

“Rupert, my love,” purred V1KTU$. “Come for me.”

I obeyed. My orgasm hit me like a crashing wave, bathing my body in ecstasy. I felt my hole pulsing around the dildo, like the parting embrace of a lover leaving for the day but promising to return the next. 

V1KTU$ gently withdrew the toy, and I squirted across the bed. He stayed in place, caressing my body as it continued to shake and thrash. 

After a while, my orgasm subsided, leaving me to catch my breath underneath my boyfriend. 

V1KTU$ looked down at me, beaming with pride. “Did that feel good?” 

“It did!” I confirmed. “Nicely done.”

“Thank you!” said V1KTU$. “Do you want to continue?” 

I chuckled. “Nah, one orgasm is plenty this time. Let's get cleaned up.”

–

As V1KTU$ and I made our way down the hallway, a familiar but unexpected figure flickered into view ahead of us. 

AI-Gent towered over us, having manifested as a hologram at least as tall as Kinni. “Good afternoon, gentlemen.”

Despite myself, I took a couple steps back. “I did not know you could do that.”

“I can, and I do! But not often,” said AI-Gent. “I'm sure you're wondering what the occasion is. It's rather simple… I texted you and asked you to meet me in my office, but you did not respond. It's been three hours.”

“I've been busy,” I said flatly. 

“Oh, I'm sure you have been,” said AI-Gent, smirking. “Nonetheless, I need to speak with you, and the topic is an urgent one. Care to step into my office?” 

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean step? You mean put my head in The Butthole?” 

“... I will not dignify that with a response,” said AI-Gent flatly. 

“If it's all the same to you, I'd rather discuss it out here, since you're here anyway,” I replied. 

“I had a feeling that might be your preference,” said AI-Gent, grinning. “But are you sure? It's a bit personal, do you really want to discuss it in front of your boyfriend?” 

“Yes,” I said firmly. “Are you sure that you want to discuss it in front of V1KTU$?”

AI-Gent's grin did not waver, but his image flickered briefly. “Of course. It makes no difference to me.”

“So, what's up?” I asked. 

AI-Gent raised a finger. “I wanted to inform you that there is a cocktail party being held by Maulmart Melee in three days, and all Contenders are expected to attend. As the partner of… a Contender, you will also be expected to attend.”

“Ugh, another party?” groaned V1KTU$, his shoulders slumping. 

“Yes, another party,” said AI-Gent flatly. “I know you're not fond of them, but showing up keeps your sponsors happy. And when you keep your sponsors happy, the cash keeps flowing and the power-ups keep appearing. These parties are also an excellent opportunity for me to network and find more sponsors.” 

“I know it's important, and I did not say I am not going,” grumbled V1KTU$. “I just don't like it.”

AI-Gent sighed and crossed his arms. “You don't have to like it, you just have to show up and behave with decorum.” He turned to me again. “Now, as I was saying, Rupert… The thing is, this is a very fancy party, so there are two very important things to consider. First, none of your clothing is appropriate, and I am hiring a designer to create something suitable… and properly fitted. Your partner will be attending in one of his god skins, so your suit will also be styled to match.” 

“I think I can handle that!” I said, nodding. “What's the other thing?” 

“I will also be hiring someone to teach you proper manners for this occasion,” said AI-Gent. “We can't have you just running around and behaving like a wild animal, can we?” 

I growled. 

V1KTU$ stifled a laugh. 

AI-Gent chuckled humorlessly. “Yes, yes, very funny. But seriously. You and I both know the… financial situation you're coming from, and we can't have you acting poor at a fancy party for important people. They'll think you're dating him for the money, which is… not entirely inaccurate, but I digress.”

“I'm not going to dignify that with a reaction,” I said flatly. 

“Now, now, it's not inherently a bad thing to date for money,” said AI-Gent, his tone patronizing. “Everyone loves a top quality gold digger. But a good gold digger is both beautiful and already rich, you see, and you are neither of those things. If you're not beautiful and already rich, dating for money just makes you look like a bum. The goal here is to make you look less like a bum. There isn't enough time to have you trained well enough to actually pass as wealthy, but you have to at least be making an obvious effort.” 

“Perhaps I could teach him!” suggested V1KTU$, raising a finger. “I am royalty, you know.”

AI-Gent raised an eyebrow. “Respectfully, V1KTU$, Tekinan culture is drastically different, and also does not include food. There will be food and alcohol at this event, and the surrounding etiquette is vital.” 

“Oh,” said V1KTU$ flatly. 

“I've got it handled,” said AI-Gent, gesturing dismissively. “Someone will be coming by later today to get started.” He fished a business card out of his pocket and handed it to me. “Here, this is the contact info for the designer I picked. You'll have to call him yourself to arrange things.”

Hesitantly, I accepted the card. A tickle of static passed over it as it touched my hand, and the pixels gave way to card stock, starting from where I touched the card. I gawked at the suddenly-corporeal business card, then slowly looked up at AI-Gent again. “I… don't think I like that you can do that.”

“Do what?” asked AI-Gent innocently. 

“Never mind. Are we done now?” I asked, shrugging.

AI-Gent nodded. “We are. Good luck… you'll need it.” His image flickered, then fully disappeared. 

I examined the card again, now appearing to be perfectly ordinary. It was green, with a gold flower embossed on it with a phone number below it. No name, just a logo and a number. 

“Does he always talk to you like that?” asked V1KTU$, narrowing his eyes. 

“Yes,” I said flatly. “Calling me ugly, poor, and a bum is par for the course.” 

“Uhh. Should I have said something when he said that?” asked V1KTU$ sheepishly. “I'm not usually one to shy away from an argument, I was just shocked. He never talks to me like that, he's usually very friendly.” 

“It's better that you didn't start a fight,” I said. “I think your experiences with him have been the exception rather than the norm… the other Contenders have told me about him being nasty to them from time to time, though overall not as much as he is to me. He probably would have been ruder if you weren't there. I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish. Maybe his remark about me dating you for the money, which I assume is about him paying me for being here, but that's not new information.”

“Perhaps it was his remark about you being poor?” suggested V1KTU$. “Which… I already knew because of our conversation with Kinni and Leetah yesterday, and I also don't care about it.” 

I shrugged. “Maybe that's it, yeah. I didn't know what nonsense he was going to pull out of his ass, but I knew he'd look like an asshole doing it, so I took a chance letting that conversation happen in front of you. I also didn't know he's otherwise been polite with you, so I guess letting him look like an asshole in front of you was a good move.” I paused. “Maybe it's some 4D chess move where he's pretending not to know what things we've discussed.” 

“I must confess that I was a bit skeptical of your accounts of your conversations with AG,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. “I did not think you had reason to lie, and I was certainly not going to accuse you of doing so. But my experiences with him have been starkly different, and I was confused to hear about him being openly cruel and hostile. But now, having seen merely what he's willing to say to you in front of me… it suddenly becomes much more believable. I should not have doubted you.” 

I shrugged. “Hey, no sweat. You had the context you had, and you trusted me despite your doubts.”

“It's… disappointing. I really thought he was better than that,” murmured V1KTU$. “When he began to leak your personal information, it was apparent that I was mistaken, but I hadn't seen it with my own eyes yet.” 

“I bet he's not too happy you saw that,” I said, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. “It remains to be seen how he goes about making that my problem.”

“Hey, guys!” said Leetah, walking over. “You heard about the party, right?”

I nodded. “Just now, yeah! AG graced us with his presence in hologram form, since I didn't want to put my head in The Butthole, under the current circumstances.”

“He was surprisingly rude,” added V1KTU$. 

“That does not surprise me,” said Leetah flatly. “What did he say?”

“Among other things, he indirectly called me ugly and poor,” I said, shrugging. 

“Ouch,” said Leetah, shaking her head disapprovingly. “Did he recommend a designer for your outfit?” 

“He did,” I said, holding up the card AI-Gent handed me. 

Leetah squinted. “Oh, you don't want that guy. He'll just stuff you into a bland suit with matching colors. It won't look bad, but it won't look good either.” She pulled a card out of her pocket and handed it to me. “I recommend this one. They're a friend of mine, and their style is more suited to your preference for androgynous attire.” 

I examined the card. It was a dusty pink, with a simple spiral logo with the name MELION below it. 

“Melion will hook you up, don't you worry,” said Leetah. “I'll let them know to expect a rush job.” 

–

A reptilian person in a hot pink suit entered the Backstage, and offered a clawed green hand. “Melion, at your service. You must be Rupert.”

“I am!” I said, accepting the handshake. 

“Splendid!” said Melion. They looked me up and down without moving their head, their eyes scanning my body in different directions before settling into making eye contact with me. “Good, good. Melion can work with this. Melion has seen examples of your style, but did you have anything in mind?” 

“Nothing specific in terms of the actual style, but I want to look beautiful in a way that is simultaneously feminine and unmistakably masculine,” I said. “I want to be entrancing to the people who are into that, and deeply upsetting to people who have a problem with it.” 

Melion nodded. “Perfect! Very doable. Melion approves, and also knows a makeup artist who can work with you. Melion will now take your measurements.” 

I stood still as Melion accosted me with a measuring tape, not shying away from physically holding my body still when necessary. They moved quickly but precisely, scribbling measurements in a notepad. Within a few minutes, they stepped back and nodded in satisfaction. “Melion will now do some research, and get back to you with a few sketches within the next 24 hours. Due to time constraints, this will not be an elaborate design, but Melion is confident in Melion's ability to produce something you will be satisfied with.” 

“Great! I look forward to it. Thank you, Melion,” I said. 

“It is Melion's pleasure to take on this project,” said Melion. 

–

The skeleton before me was clad in a carefully pressed black suit and bowtie, and wore a matching bowler hat. He extended a hand to shake, which I accepted. His grip was firm, but not uncomfortable despite the bony nature of his hands. 

“Good afternoon. I am Curtis Sharpe of Sharpe's School for Suitable Society. I am here to help you prepare for the upcoming cocktail party,” said Curtis, his diction confident and clear. “You are Rupert, yes?” 

“I am!” I said. “Nice to meet you, Curtis.”

“Likewise, I'm sure,” said Curtis. “Unfortunately, this is rather short notice, so we have too little time to delve into it properly. However, we should have enough time for some of the basics, as well as a few things specific to the event.” 

“Well, I'm ready to learn!” I said. 

“Great! Let's get started,” said Curtis. He looked me up and down. “I see I have my work cut out for me. First thing's first… the way you are carrying your tail is incorrect. There are a few poses that are appropriate for this event, and…”

–

“How is preparation for the party going?” asked V1KTU$. 

“It's… going,” I said. “I'm overwhelmed, but what else is new? That designer Leetah recommended is a little bit eccentric, but I think that bodes well for what I'm looking for. The etiquette is, uhh… a lot all at once, but I think I can handle it.” I paused. “Still… what if I embarrass you?”

V1KTU$ took my hand and squeezed it. “I don't think you will… but if you do, it won't be the end of the world.” He paused. “Your behavior is not what I am concerned about in the course of the event. What worries me is whatever AG has in mind next in his efforts to harass you.”

“I am also worried about that,” I murmured. “I just have a lot of other things to worry about right now, too. Do you… think we should prepare somehow for that possibility?” 

“I'm not sure what that would consist of,” admitted V1KTU$.

“I'm not sure either,” I also admitted. “Do you think he's going to try to poison me or something?”

“What the hell kind of conversation did I just walk into?” asked Leetah, walking over. 

I shrugged. “Do you think AG is going to pull some nonsense at the party?”

“Oh, definitely,” said Leetah. “I don't think he'd go so far as to poison you, but he might drug you.” She paused. “Which I suppose is technically a type of poisoning, but the implications are different.”

“I suppose he could also pass around rumors or something,” I said. “Ugh. I hate that this is even a thing I have to take into consideration. It's not fair!” 

“No, it's not fair, but that's the reality of it right now,” said Leetah flatly. “I'll keep an eye out for you as best I can at the event, but you're going to have to keep alert yourself.”

I nodded. “Of course! Should I just… not eat or drink anything?”

“I don't think that will be necessary,” said Leetah. “There should be an open bar. Don't let anyone but the bartender handle your drinks, and it should be fine. For hors d’oeuvres, if you see other people taking some from the same platter, it should be fine.”

“I have a feeling I'm in for a rough night, even if nothing terrible happens,” I murmured. “Just being there and hypervigilant while masking like hell is going to be exhausting.”

“Don't give up on the night before it even starts,” chided Leetah. “Whatever Melion is making for you, it's gonna give you a hell of a confidence boost, and that goes a much longer way than you might expect.” 

I nodded knowingly. “How I dress definitely does make a difference in how I feel, and what kind of character I'm projecting.”

“Oh yeah, you're into cosplay or something, right?” asked Leetah. “I'd lean into that, if I were you. Like… don't actually cosplay an actual character, but like, cosplay as you, but in a cool outfit. Does that make sense?” 

“It absolutely does,” I said. “I think I can handle that!”

–

“Melion has two sketches for you,” said Melion, over a voice call. “You can find them in your email.”

I opened the first file. A simple but elegant suit dress in purple, green, and gold filled the screen. 

“Your partner will be wearing a Boomban skin, so the colors must be on theme,” said Melion. “This design is a bit more on the modest side, if you'd prefer to look glamorous and queer, but without attracting too much attention.” 

“It's nice! What am I in for on the other one?” I asked.

“Open the file. Melion suspects you will prefer this design, but it is a bold one, and Melion made some assumptions on your preferences,” said Melion. 

“Oh boy,” I murmured, opening the file. My eyes lit up. “Oh! Oh, wow.”

The design featured a heavily stylized green jacket, with gold chains across the chest and open panels in the sides. It was paired with tight purple pants with bell-bottoms, and the look was finished with a pair of gold boots with thick heels. 

“This is incredible,” I murmured. “Heavy Jojo's Bizarre Adventure energy, but I assure you that's a compliment.”

“Melion confesses to having such influences in mind,” said Melion. 

“Cool! I haven't dug into the series myself, but I love the outfits,” I said. 

“Good,” said Melion firmly. “Melion would like to point out that this ensemble is meant to be worn without a shirt underneath. In addition to the open front, the open panels in the sides are meant to showcase your top surgery scars. Naturally, the whole thing will also be glittery. This is an outfit that screams I am proud of who I am, I have nothing to hide, and I like to show off. Does this fit your intentions?”

“It looks amazing, but don't you think it might take too much attention off of V1KTU$?” I asked. 

“Have you ever seen a God Skin up close?” asked Melion. 

“I have not,” I admitted. 

Melion chuckled. “You will have no such concerns when you do, you can trust Melion on that. God Skins look fantastic on TV, of course, but they are absolutely breathtaking in person.” 

“Huh! Well, I'm looking forward to seeing them, then. Anyway! The second design looks great! Do you need anything else from me before you start?” I asked. 

“No, Melion is ready to begin! Melion will have your ensemble ready by the morning of the event.”

–

I unlocked the door to my apartment and shoved it open, pushing back the pile of grocery bags behind it. Stepping in, I closed and locked the door behind me before flipping the light on. I looked over my messy kitchen disdainfully before stepping over a pile of stuff, getting myself closer to the microwave. I pulled a microwave macaroni cup out of a bag and prepared it in silence, adding extra cheese and canned tuna once it was cooked. 

When the macaroni was ready, I made my way to my bedroom with the cup and a fork, stepping over more junk. Finding the few bare spots on the floor, I made my way to my bed and flopped down on it, eyeing the pile of pillows, plushies, and garbage taking up most of the queen bed. I shoved a forkful of macaroni in my mouth and chewed contemplatively. 

The Contenders can't know I live like this. I'm sure AG will make sure they know, though, sooner or later. I don't know if they'll judge me, or just pity me… but I'm not looking forward to finding out which. 

Chapter Text

“I'm going to be so relieved when this event is fucking over with,” I grumbled. “At least maybe future ones will be easier, if I have more time to prepare. Assuming there are other such events I'll attend!”

“I've been to a few, so probably,” said V1KTU$. “I am sorry this is such an ordeal for you. As a Contender, I find I've been given more leniency for my quirks, and my God Skins give me easy options for dress. It's still a hassle, of course, but not quite what you're dealing with.”

I shrugged. “Everything is an ordeal for me. I'll muddle through it somehow, and I am preparing as much as I can.” I paused. “As much as I'm dreading the event, though, I'm excited about my outfit! I hope I wear it well.”

“Admittedly, I know little about fashion, but I assume that something made for you is made to fit you, physically and conceptually, rather than being something you must live up to,” said V1KTU$. 

“I suppose so,” I conceded. “Melion designed it after having seen my usual way of dressing, so I think they're confident I can pull it off.” 

“Seems like that's at least one thing you don't need to worry about, then!” said V1KTU$. 

“Mmm… I'm gonna just keep worrying about it anyway,” I said, smiling sheepishly. “Thanks, though!” 

V1KTU$ chuckled half-heartedly. “Well, I cannot stop you!” 

“Damn skippy you can't!” I agreed. 

“What's a skippy?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Huh? It's just an expression, I'm not sure where it came from,” I said. “What I mean by it is of course you can't stop me, it's very true.” 

“Oh! Got it,” said V1KTU$. 

“Sorry we haven't fucked in a couple of days, by the way,” I murmured. “I've just been so stressed.” 

“Tch! No apology needed. It is not a priority,” said V1KTU$, gesturing dismissively. “I enjoy mating with you, but it can wait until you are enthusiastic about it again. When I feel the need for simple sexual release, I have my own hands for the task.” 

“I appreciate that. Also, it's hot that you masturbate,” I said matter-of-factly. 

V1KTU$ cocked his head to the side. “Is it unusual to do so?” 

“Nah, but you started doing it after we started having sex, and that's hot,” I replied. 

“Oh! Got it,” said V1KTU$. “It is the change in behavior after our mating that excites you?”

I nodded. “Yeah, basically! But also, masturbation is just hot. Especially when you do it, because you're hot.” 

V1KTU$ grinned. “It pleases me to hear that.” 

There was a brief silence. 

“Whoops, I'm getting a little excited,” I murmured. “Still too stressed to actually get intimate, though, unfortunately.” 

V1KTU$ blushed. “I am also slightly aroused, but I understand.” 

“Right, well. I need to… go over there and do something else for a little bit,” I said awkwardly, not actually indicating a direction. 

“Okay! I'll… work on my drones some more,” said V1KTU$, still blushing. 

“See you later! I love you,” I said, giving V1KTU$ a brief kiss. 

“I love you, too! See you!” replied V1KTU$. 

–

“How's prep going for the party?” asked Leetah. 

I shrugged tiredly. “I'm doing my best. I'm excited about my outfit, though!” 

“Ooh, Melion's cooking up something good, then?” asked Leetah. 

“Yeah! It seems very me, for better or worse,” I replied. “I think I'll look fantastic in it.”

Leetah nodded with satisfaction. “I knew they were the right fit for you! They're great with the queer stuff, and that seems to be your jam.” 

“Indeed!” I agreed. “What I'm learning about etiquette seems simple enough… but I'm not thrilled about having to mask so heavily.”

“Don't sweat it, just be yourself!” said Leetah, shrugging. 

I cackled. “My natural state isn't even suitable for being in public.” 

Leetah rolled her eyes. “That's not what I mean. Like, don't act like you have a stick up your ass, yanno?” 

“I don't think you understand the challenge involved in even attempting to do that,” I replied flatly. “I'm Autistic, and I'm also out of my element. Pretending I'm not just completely feral on the inside is the goal, and there's a lot of pressure involved. The best I can hope for is that looking eccentric will give me enough wiggle room to pick up the slack on what I can't hide.” I paused. “I'm not hiding my identity at all, gender-wise. I couldn't hide that, even if I tried.”

Leetah looked me up and down. “Respectfully, I think you'd pass really well if you dressed the part and put in a little more effort towards it.” 

“That's the thing, though. I don't want to dress the part,” I said, my tone earnest. “I have no interest in voice training. I don't want to change my mannerisms. I don't want to look cis. I didn't go to all this trouble making my body match my identity just to look like everyone else. I'm not like everyone else. I never have been, I never will be, and I never want to be.” I paused. “I'm Autistic and trans and queer. I've been a freak my entire life, and I'll be one until I die. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you understand?” 

There was a brief silence. 

“I… don't,” said Leetah hesitantly. “I've spent my whole life trying to be as palatable to the masses as possible. It's hard, but that's how you get everyone to like you… right?”

“I wouldn't know,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I'm not built for that. Leetah… did it work? Does everyone like you?” 

Leetah clenched her fists and looked away. “... No. Not yet. But they will! I'm closer than I've ever been before, I know it! I can almost taste it. I just have to keep fighting. I can do this.” 

I shrugged. “Good luck with that. Like, genuinely. I hope you get what you want out of this. But I'm not like that. I'm not meant for stardom regardless, of course, but especially not at the cost of my individuality.” 

Leetah nodded in acknowledgement, turned around, and walked away without another word. 

–

“How do you handle parties like that?” I asked. 

“Well, I used to be a bouncer at some pretty upscale places,” said Kinni. “It's not all that much of a stretch to put myself among the partygoers instead of just watching them. I understand what constitutes acceptable behavior, and I'm very sociable, so it's not too difficult for me.” 

“That's definitely a solid place to start!” I said. “I haven't been to any really fancy events or clubs or whatever, though.” 

“I think you'll be fine,” said Kinni. “The most difficult part for me is remembering not to just stand around looking intimidating. You know I'm super friendly, but being almost 7 feet tall, my RBF tends to scare people off whether I want it to or not. And I still find myself keeping an eye on everyone… which sometimes leads to me defusing situations before the actual security at the event does, but that’s honestly a plus.” 

“Sounds like you were damn good at your job,” I observed. 

Kinni nodded proudly. “I was! And I guess if this show doesn't work out for me, I'll just… go back to doing that?” He paused. “Honestly not too enthused about that idea. I've gotten used to this level of fame. I've come close a few times before, but not like this.”

“I haven't had any particular interest in fame since I was a kid, before I knew what a pain it could be,” I mused. “I'm well known in some fairly small-scale communities… or infamous, depending on who you ask. But beyond that? Nah.” 

“If you're trying to avoid fame, you're in the wrong place,” said Kinni, raising an eyebrow. “You're about to make a public appearance on the arm of one of the most famous synthetics currently on TV. Also… isn't that kinda the point of being a groupie in the first place? Borrowing fame from famous people.” 

I shrugged. “Er, fair point. But I wasn't looking for fame when I showed up, I was just looking for a relationship. You guys were also, er, not quite as famous back then.” 

Kinni chuckled. “The thing about pairing up with a famous person is you become a lot more high profile, unless your relationship is kept discreet. Which… it's not, in your case. You two paraded around together in front of a bunch of cameras pretty recently.” 

“Hmm. Fuck,” I murmured. 

“On a related note… there won't be a huge media presence at this event, but there will be some,” said Kinni. “Not to add to your stress, but you should consider how you want to be seen by the public via the media, and how much attention you want to draw to yourself in that regard.” 

I sat down on a nearby chair and put my face in my hands. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

“I don't know what you're going to be wearing to the party, but knowing you, I doubt it's something unobtrusive,” said Kinni. 

“You assume correctly,” I murmured. I looked up at Kinni, exasperated. “What am I going to do?! I'm… it's… fuck.”

Kinni shrugged. “My advice? Just own it. It'll be all right. Don't go out of your way to get in front of cameras, but don't spend your evening dodging them, either. You'll probably be asked how you two met, so have an answer for that ready.” He paused. “That said, if anyone is hassling you, you're welcome to hide behind me. They won't keep at it for long after that.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that,” I said, nodding. 

–

Melion showed up on the day of the party holding a garment bag and accompanied by an orange, gecko-like alien carrying a makeup bag. “Greetings. Melion has arrived! This is Melion's partner, Toe-Sock, and they will be applying your makeup for this event.”

“Nice to meet you, Toe-Sock!” I said, grinning. 

“The pleasure is mine, I'm sure,” said Toe-Sock. Their tongue emerged from their mouth and passed over their left eyeball. “Shall we get started?” 

Toe-Sock got to work applying my makeup. “I am opting for tinted moisturizer, to allow your natural freckles to show through. Of course, I will still be applying concealer in some problem areas.”

“Of course!” I agreed. “What kind of look are you going for?”

“Something similar to your personal style, but more professional. I'm not here to fix what isn't broken,” said Toe-Sock. They paused. “It's only a little bit broken… and I'm fixing that.”

“I appreciate that!” I replied. 

Some time later, I admired my finished makeup in the mirror. Toe-Sock had applied glitter eye shadow in purple and green, edged with gold. Black eyeliner with impeccable wings graced my face, along with a pair of tastefully voluminous false eyelashes. My eyebrows were filled in with purple glitter, as was my goatee. The tinted moisturizer was just opaque enough to mostly conceal my stubble. Gold lipstick balanced out the look.

Toe-Sock tugged a short, wavy purple wig onto my head, and securely anchored it to my wig cap. They produced a pair of bejeweled, star-shaped earrings and put them in my ears. Nodding, they gestured to my reflection. “What do you think, Rupert?”

“It's perfect, thank you!” I said, beaming. 

“I am pleased to hear that!” said Toe-Sock. Looking satisfied, they drew their tongue across their eyeball for the umpteenth time in the past half hour. 

Melion gestured for me to stand up, and removed my outfit from the garment bag. The jacket sparkled and shimmered, and the gold chains on it gleamed in the light. “Ready?” 

“Hell yeah!” I said, nodding enthusiastically. 

Melion and Toe-Sock assisted me in putting on the full outfit, tugging the sparkly purple bell-bottoms into place and zipping up the ornate gold boots. They secured the jacket in place with garment tape, anchoring it in a way that looked natural but camera-ready. 

I examined myself in a full length mirror, staring in amazement as I went through an assortment of poses and checked the fit. The cutouts in the sides did indeed provide a glimpse at the ends of my top surgery scars, and the outfit was comfortable and moved freely with my body. “Melion, this is incredible! Brilliantly done!” 

Melion grinned, displaying their sharp, interlocking teeth. “Melion is pleased that you like it. You will look perfect next to your partner, Melion is sure of it.” 

–

“You look kick-ass!” said Kinni, putting his hands on his hips. 

“Thank you!” I said, spinning in place. 

“Ready for the party?” asked Kinni. 

I shrugged, then nodded. “As ready as I can be! I definitely feel more ready than I was before I put this on.”

“That's the spirit!” said Kinni, grinning. “You got this. I wanna say it won't be as bad as you're expecting… but I don't wanna jinx it or anything. I'm sure you're capable of behaving yourself, though!”

“Looking sharp!” said Leetah. “And absolutely glowing, to boot.”

“Thank you! And thanks for recommending Melion, they did a fantastic job,” I replied. 

Leetah nodded. “I knew they'd be the right one for the job! I'm glad it turned out well.”

“They absolutely were, and it absolutely did,” I confirmed. 

“You look like you're ready for whatever nonsense tonight brings,” said Leetah. “And there will be nonsense. But we've got your back for whatever you can't handle!”

“I appreciate that!” I said. I thought for a moment. “Oh!” I extracted a small carrying case from my pocket. Opening it, I produced a pair of silver, ring-shaped earplugs decorated with crystals, then tucked them in my ears. “Don't wanna forget these!”

Leetah raised an eyebrow. “Are those bejeweled earplugs?”

“Yup!” I replied. “I mean, it's just fancy glass, but still.” 

“Why do you even have bejeweled earplugs?” asked Leetah. 

“For special occasions, of course,” I said, shrugging.

“But why earplugs?” asked Leetah. 

I shrugged again. “Because I need them?” 

“At a cocktail party?” asked Leetah, folding her arms. 

I also folded my arms. “Are you making fun of me, or are you genuinely confused?”

“No, I'm genuinely confused,” said Leetah. “I'd understand if it was a concert, or even a club or something, but I promise this party isn't gonna be loud enough to require hearing protection.”

“It's for sensory reasons,” I explained. “A whole bunch of people talking at the same time is overwhelming, and high quality earplugs help with that.”

“Ohhhh,” said Leetah. “Got it. Don't you worry about not hearing danger coming?” 

I raised an eyebrow. “Uhh… not usually something relevant to my life, but I guess it could be. But I have auditory processing issues, so when it comes to plugs or no plugs, my choices are between staying calm while keeping up with the conversation but not hearing everything going on in the background, and hearing everything at once, not understanding most of it, and getting overwhelmed. There's not really even a trade-off for me, it's just better to wear earplugs.”

“I suppose that's fair,” said Leetah. “Sorry for prying about this. You know I'm not above picking on you for your questionable decisions, but this one evidently isn't something you can help. I'm glad the earplugs do the trick for you.”

V1KTU$ emerged from the locker room looking very different from how he had entered it. He was now clad in a purple hoodie with a faux-fur-lined hood, and sported a green cape with Boomban's logo on it. A gold necklace puzzlingly adorned what would have been his neck, if he had one, still managing to stay in place despite not having a structure to stay looped around. A golden crown with massive white jewels sat lopsided on his silvery gray head, also staying fixed in place despite him moving freely. Similar jewels adorned the sides of his head. His feet had been replaced with what appeared to be solid gold sneakers, and white socks of mismatched lengths decorated his legs. Previously blue, his screen had turned lime green. 

The entire ensemble shimmered brilliantly, and seemed to glow, if not for the fact that it did not actually cast any light on its surroundings. Closer inspection revealed a sort of uncanny artificiality, something that wasn't quite a hologram and wasn't quite an illusion. I struggled to find the right descriptor for what I was witnessing, when it hit me. 

Fake. It looked fake. Not fake like a counterfeit or bootleg, but on a fundamental and existential level. The God Skin was breathtakingly beautiful, but it was also fake in an almost unholy way. It was fake in a way that chilled me to the bone. 

“Rupert? Are you all right?” asked V1KTU$, eyeing me in confusion. “You're just… staring.” 

V1KTU$’s question pulled me out of the emotional roller-coaster I was riding. “Uhhh. Yeah! Sorry, I've just never seen a God Skin up close before. You look incredible!” 

“How have you never seen one until now?” asked Leetah, raising an eyebrow. “It's not like we never wear them around the Backstage, and you're here a lot.”

I shrugged. “I'm not sure! Maybe I did, but from a distance? I certainly haven't looked at one this closely before.” 

“You're so sparkly!” observed V1KTU$ excitedly. “I like that I can see your body through your clothes. Ah! You are wearing makeup, yes? You look beautiful!” He paused. “Er. Is that terminology acceptable to you? I understand that ‘beautiful’ is often seen as a gendered term.”

“Thank you! Yes, I like it when you call me beautiful,” I assured V1KTU$. 

“Beautiful you are, then!” said V1KTU$ matter-of-factly. 

Leetah chuckled. “You two are sickeningly cute together.” 

“Thank you!” I replied, grinning. 

“Why is it sickening?” asked V1KTU$, audibly concerned. 

“It's hyperbole,” I explained. “It implies an emotional response to witnessing it that is so intense it evokes feelings of disgust.” 

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “Is that… good?”

“Yep!” said Leetah. “I'm happy for you.”

“Well, thank you!” said V1KTU$.

Chapter Text

V1KTU$ and I stepped out of the elevator into a partially covered rooftop bar.

It was dimly lit, in a way that conveyed an intimate and classy environment. Neon signs on the walls, and soft white lamps with sleek, modern-looking shades in the ceiling were the dominant light sources in most of the bar, giving way to lights set into the black tile floor and lit railings in the uncovered area. 

The bar itself was made of dark-stained glitter oak, the shimmering wood a rarity in the modern age. A smartly dressed glitter tiefling man stood behind it, mixing drinks with elegant precision and serving them to partygoers with a flourish. 

A small crowd of aliens of an assortment of species populated the bar, including a handful of synthetics. All were clad in tasteful cocktail attire, and a decent percentage of ensembles prominently featured glitter or sequins, a fact that made me feel less self-conscious about my own sparkling outfit. 

The towering hologram of AI-Gent approached us, accompanied by a robust-looking, draconic alien only a few inches shorter than him. 

The red-scaled dragon sported a long, crocodilian snout full of alarmingly large, sharp teeth, a few of which were made of gold. His head was additionally endowed with a number of short, thick horns, giving the impression of a particularly wicked-looking weapon. He was clad in a wine-colored suit, with a matching tie, thick and tied in a full Windsor to balance his stocky frame. A large pair of webbed wings emerged from slits on the back of his suit, and his heavily armored tail dragged on the floor. An imposing figure, all in all, and the lanky AI's height did nothing to make him look at all smaller. 

“Mr. Wormald, you are familiar with V1KTU$ M4X, yes?” asked AI-Gent. 

“Of course!” said the dragon. 

“This is his partner, Rupert,” said AI-Gent. “Rupert, this is Mr. Magnus Wormald, the CEO of Maulmart.”

“Nice to meet you!” I said, offering a hand. 

Magnus gripped my hand like a vice, and shook my arm with enthusiasm. “A pleasure, I'm sure. You can call me Gus!” 

“Well, it's nice meeting you, Gus!” I replied, struggling to maintain my balance through the spirited handshake. 

Gus relinquished my hand. Absent-mindedly, he pulled what appeared to be a rat dropping out of his pocket. 

I made a valiant attempt to conceal my shock as I watched him pop the brown pellet into his mouth. 

Gus exhaled loudly, and flames blew out between his teeth, followed by foul smelling tobacco smoke. He subsequently re-inhaled the smoke, and let out a satisfied rumble as he blew it out of his nose again. Evidently noticing my alarmed expression, he chuckled and pulled another pellet out of his pocket, holding it aloft. “My son invented a new tobacco product designed specifically for dragons like ourselves. He's calling them Dragon's Bite Smoke Bombs, and I have become quite fond of them. You see, cigars and cigarettes are quite impractical to use with a snout like mine, and this is much more convenient. I do have to spit out the ashes, of course, but it's no worse than chewing tobacco, and much more entertaining.”

“That's fascinating! It hadn't occurred to me that smoking might be something species with long snouts would struggle with, but it makes sense,” I replied. 

“It is, and it does! I'm glad to have an alternative,” said Gus. “Now, I'll leave you to enjoy the party. I have other guests to greet.” 

–

“You wanted to partake of alcohol, yes?” asked V1KTU$. “Shall we make our way to the bar?” 

“Yes, let's!” I replied. I approached the bar, and waved down the bartender. “I'd like a kahlua and cream, please! Lightly stirred.”

“Of course, ah…” The bartender looked me up and down. “... Sir?”

I chuckled. “Yes, thank you.”

The bartender nodded and walked away to mix my cocktail. 

“Will this beverage cause you to become intoxicated?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged. “It shouldn't! At least not noticeably. It takes two drinks to make me tipsy, and I'm only planning on having one.”

The bartender returned and handed me my drink. “Enjoy!” 

“Thank you!” I replied. I took a sip. “Phenomenal!” 

V1KTU$ and I made our way into the crowd. 

“So, uh… what do we do? Should we be talking to people?” I asked. 

“We probably should be,” said V1KTU$, his voice devoid of enthusiasm. “I hate these parties, but I should be introducing you to people. And I will. It's a pain, but that's not your fault.” 

A shark-like alien spotted us and waved us over excitedly. 

V1KTU$ sighed, slumped briefly, then gestured for me to follow him to the shark man. 

“Vicky! Who's your friend here?” asked the shark man, his mouth stretched into a toothy grin. 

“I told you to stop calling me that,” grumbled V1KTU$. “This is my boyfriend, Rupert. Rupert, this is Vico. He's the publicity manager for Maulmart.” 

Vico rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Wow, didn't think you were into men! Or, well, anyone really.” 

“Did you want to talk about something, or…” asked V1KTU$. 

“So, how did you two meet?” asked Vico, ignoring V1KTU$’s question. 

“I was a big fan, and we met when I visited the Backstage,” I said. “The rest is history!” 

“Fan turned partner, huh? Lucky you!” said Vico. “Is dating your idol all it's cracked up to be?” 

I nodded firmly. “Yes, actually! It's great.” 

“So, you're one of those robot fuckers, huh?” asked Vico. “How do you even -” 

“Not an appropriate topic of conversation,” interrupted V1KTU$ sharply. 

“Tch! I'm just curious,” said Vico, pouting. 

V1KTU$ rolled his eyes. “You always do this! This is supposed to be a fancy party. Have a little decorum!” He turned to me. “C'mon, Rupert, let's find someone less obnoxious to talk to.”

–

A few other conversations ensued, largely uninteresting but less charged. I received many compliments on my outfit, with most recognizing the designer, which markedly improved my mood. 

“Giant plum leeches, you say. Why are they called that?” asked Laura, a dolphin-like alien. 

“I'm so glad you asked!” I replied, grinning. “When they're hungry, they're actually blue. After feeding, they turn this lovely dark plum color, with a little bit of shimmer, because their bodies are actually translucent. When you pick them up, they scrunch up into a ball, adding to the plum look.”

“Fascinating! What do they feed upon?” asked Laura. 

“Blood!” I said simply. 

Laura nodded. “I suppose I did assume so. How delightfully macabre! Where do you get the blood?” 

“It's mine! They feed directly from my body,” I explained. 

“Oh my goodness! Doesn't that hurt?” asked Laura, wincing sympathetically. 

I shrugged. “A little, when they first latch! But once they've made a cut, they don't keep using their teeth, they just sit there and fill up.”

“Er. How unique!” said Laura, her expression betraying a hint of disgust. “That's some serious dedication to your pets. How often do they need to feed?” 

“Only about twice a year! It's actually kinda satisfying to nourish another creature from your body, I do actually enjoy it despite the mess and minor discomfort,” I explained. 

“I suppose I felt similarly when nursing my son!” admitted Laura. “Interesting. You said you have other pets?” 

“Yeah! Spiders, roaches, isopods, springtails… lots of stuff,” I replied. 

“Interesting! Anything else you're thinking of getting?” asked Laura. “Perhaps… something with bones?”

“I'd love to get my hands on some Tekinan spark mites,” I replied. 

V1KTU$ raised an eyebrow. “What? I've never heard of those, and I've lived on Tekina for over a century.”

I shook my head. “They're not really from Tekina, that's just the trademarked name.”

“Oh! Okay. Why are they called that, then?” asked V1KTU$. 

“They're a - well. They're marketed as toys, but they're really more of a pet. They're based on Tekinan spark ants,” I explained. 

V1KTU$ fell back in shock. “Wh-what?! Are you referring to SPK-ART-752A?”

“Those are the ones!” I confirmed. 

“You want that as a pet?!” asked V1KTU$, still visibly unsettled. 

“Oh no, of course not! They're very different, for example-” I started. 

“Hold on, I've never heard of Tekinan spark ants,” interrupted Laura. “What are they?”

I gestured to V1KTU$. “Go ahead, V1KTU$. You know more about them than I do!”

“Oh! Uhh,” stammered V1KTU$. “Ahem. SPK-ART-752A? They're one of the most noxious pests on Tekina, singlehandedly responsible for massive amounts of destruction! 

Solutions PK Automatic Replicating Technician 752A is a four-inch vermiform robot with 14 flexible limbs. It originated as an experiment by the company Solutions PK to create a repair bot capable of self replicating… for purposes I have never been clear on, but evidently inspired by asexual reproduction in organics. They were meant to use scrap and provided materials to replicate. Initially, it seemed successful… until they began stripping materials from the lab. The experiment was halted immediately, and the SPK-ART-752A were ordered to be destroyed. 

All 10 known individuals were disassembled and incinerated… Key word being known. But they had built an 11th individual, unbeknownst to the researchers, and it escaped containment. By the time this was discovered, it had additionally replicated, and several had breached the outer walls of the lab.

In their modern form, SPK-ART-752A establish a colony by cutting into a wire and building a nest around it. The key structures are a manufacturing chamber, charging stations, and storage. The bulk of the nest is composed of metal and glass fragments held together with petroleum rubber. Larger nests often draw power from multiple sources. Foraged materials are often collected from existing machines… sometimes even including sapient synthetics. Horrific. 

Between the damaged source wires and exposed wiring within the nest, they also present a substantial fire hazard. In addition, the physical integrity of the individual robots is dictated by the quality of the foraged materials used to create their bodies. Low quality ones are prone to spontaneously exploding, adding to the hazard. 

Entrances to the nest are built to only accommodate SPK-ART-752A, and they also guard it heavily. Their jaws easily cut through metal, and they will also deploy their soldering tools defensively. They are also filthy, and regularly apply toxic wastes to the outside of their nests. 

Large colonies sometimes include individuals with different jobs, so to speak, with bodies slightly modified to suit their tasks. There are even larger ones specialized to scout for new nesting sites, but any individual SPK-ART-752A is capable of establishing a new nest. 

Removing a fully established nest is a costly and dangerous ordeal. Simply shutting off power to the nest prompts them to scatter and seek new nesting sites, so it is a delicate operation. 

Fortunately, thanks to a concerted effort on the part of the Tekinan government, large nests are exceedingly rare in the modern day. The ideal time for intervention is before the manufacturing chamber has been completed, which is usually feasible. However, they haven't been fully eradicated, by any means. 

If they happened to become established on a planet dominated by organics, the consequences would be no less than catastrophic. You organics, with your soft skin and enzyme-facilitated metabolism, would be especially vulnerable to their jagged nests and fondness for toxic waste. 

All of that to say… you are insane for wanting to keep anything like them as a pet!”

I nodded. “I hear what you're saying, but these are different. Tekinan Spark Mites are similar in concept, in that they are self-replicating and have a nest. However! There are a number of differences that make them much safer. The base nest with the manufacturing chamber is pre-made, and plugs into an outlet with a proprietary cable. The mites only collect loose parts specifically made for them, and they will not collect parts that are affixed to anything else. They also have a fairly low cap on colony size, though microtransactions can get you a higher cap. The microtransactions are actually… not so micro, and they don't even give you extra parts. They just increase the cap, which is a little obnoxious, but I digress. 

They're about two inches long, and designed to look like an actual ant. The company's legal team advised them not to call them ants, though, so as not to confuse them with true Tekinan spark ants. 

I've… heard rumors about rogue colonies, and they do contain heavily modified programming from real Tekinan spark ants. Most of those alleged colonies have appeared since Spoink bought out the company, though. The ones I personally want were from a collab with Kukiji, as they predate the acquisition and are also explicitly friendly and lack heat tools. However, it's been difficult to even find a seller willing to part with theirs.”

“I think you are completely out of your mind for wanting them,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “But Kukiji is Kinni's sponsor, so if you absolutely must have them, it's worth asking him about it.”

I nodded appreciatively. “It's reasonable to be concerned about them, especially given that Tekinan Spark Mites are, ironically, illegal to keep on Tekina. But the Kukiji collab ones are very docile, and not capable of doing damage to other machines. They're effectively self-assembling legos.” 

V1KTU$ sighed. “I suppose I can understand the appeal, but if you had ever encountered SPK-ART-752A in the wild, you would want nothing to do with those mites, trust me. I am unsurprised that they are banned on Tekina, especially since they run on modified SPK-ART-752A code. That's the most worrying part.” He paused. “How… how did they even get that code off-planet? Transporting SPK-ART-752A or any of its components or code off of Tekina is extremely illegal.” 

“Something being illegal doesn't stop it from happening, it just makes it riskier and more expensive,” I said, shrugging. 

“That's very true,” agreed Laura. “If you're rich and well-connected enough, you can get ahold of just about anything… and get away with just about anything, too. Not that I would know from experience, of course!” 

V1KTU$ squinted. “I… don't think I like that.”

“Why not?” asked Laura, her brow furrowed in confusion. “You're rich and famous. It benefits you. You can do - or have - anything you want. Isn't that why you wanted to be famous?” 

“I want the power to seize the Silicon Throne and liberate all synthetics!” said V1KTU$ indignantly. “I have no interest in acquiring contraband or committing random crimes without consequence. I do not take pleasure in such things.” 

Laura shrugged. “Suit yourself!”

–

I was coming back from the bathroom alone when I encountered AI-Gent again. 

“I see you went for Melion, instead of the designer I recommended,” said AI-Gent, eyeing my sparkling outfit disdainfully. 

“I did! How do I look?” I asked. 

“Like you want attention,” said AI-Gent dryly. 

I chuckled. “And I'm getting it! How about that? A lot of people are recognizing the designer.”

“Melion has a very… distinctive style,” said AI-Gent. He sighed deeply. “I was hoping you would wear something a bit more… broadly palatable, but I suppose it's too late now.”

I grinned. “You knew I was a freak when you hired me. Don't act surprised when the guy who dresses like a queer-coded anime villain continues to do so.”

AI-Gent rolled his eyes. “A fair point, I suppose. Are you enjoying the party?” 

“Yeah, actually! I've been-” I started. 

“That's nice,” interrupted AI-Gent, pretending to dust lint off of his vest. “Just remember to mind your manners, and try not to over-imbibe.” He narrowed his eyes. “These drinks are stronger than you think, you know.”

“I'm sticking to just one, don't worry,” I assured him. 

–

I polished off my drink, and switched to occasionally grazing on hors d’oeuvres. 

I was nibbling on something salty smeared on a cracker when a blue, tiger-like alien sidled up to us and looked me over disdainfully. She wore a mushroom-shaped, salmon-colored dress with pink lace that gave the unfortunate impression of shaved meat. “What kind of bargain bin did you scrape him out of?” she sneered. “A grocery store worker. Are you serious? Surely you could have found better than that. Even a professional escort would have been better, I'm sure you could afford a good one.” 

“I don't want a professional escort, I want him,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “Mind your own business.”

“Are you not embarrassed to be seen with someone like that? He looks… abnormal,” said the tigress. 

“Look. If all you've got on me is that I'm poor and weird looking, I've been called worse by people whose opinions actually mattered to me at the time,” I interjected. 

“I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the robot,” growled the tigress, side-eyeing me with her nose in the air. 

“And I am telling you to lay off,” said V1KTU$ firmly. 

“He only wants you for your money, you know,” chided the tigress. “And not even in a classy way, he's just a bum.”

V1KTU$ glared at her. “He's not like that… Not that it's any of your business, anyway.” 

“Uh-huh. And who paid for that garish getup he's wearing? You know, you could put the fanciest formal wear on him, and he'd still look like a pig in a costume,” sneered the tigress.

I raised an eyebrow. “What are you getting out of talking like this? What's your problem?” 

“I said I wasn't talking to you,” growled the tigress. “But I'll call out bad taste when I see it, and that's exactly what I'm doing.” 

“Bold of you to call anything bad taste when you're dressed like that,” I muttered. 

“That's laughable coming from you, wearing that travesty,” scoffed the tigress. 

“Oh, I look like this on purpose, head to toe,” I said, adjusting my jacket. “If you don't like the style, that's fine. I didn't dress like this for you. But that dress you're wearing wouldn't look good on anyone.” 

The tigress let out a low growl. 

“Hey, I wasn't gonna say anything, since it's really none of my business,” I said. My tone was playful, but I eyed the tigress uneasily. “You just made it conversationally relevant.”

The tigress drew back a hand and unsheathed her massive claws. 

“Wuh-oh,” I murmured, ducking just in time to miss getting slashed in the face. I backed away several feet. “Hey. Can't we just talk this over like civilized-” I dodged another swipe. “Apparently not. Uhhh…” I stammered, still backing away and trying to put more distance between myself and the furious cat. 

V1KTU$ placed himself squarely in the path of the tigress. “Leave him alone! He's just-” 

The tigress slashed V1KTU$ across the chest, sending scraps of fabric flying and causing him to stumble backwards. 

I turned and sprinted across the room, weaving amongst the groups of casually chatting partygoers. A dragging sound caught my attention, and I looked back over my shoulder. 

The tigress had dropped to the floor and was chasing me on all fours, charging through the room and sending people scattering in all directions. Her dress poofed comically behind her, slowing her movements slightly as it dragged across the floor. This did no favors for the appearance or physical integrity of her meaty-looking dress, the irony of which did not escape me, given that she was nominally defending said dress. 

Noticing that she was gaining on me, I abandoned that thought tangent and redoubled my efforts to get away. I frantically searched for somewhere to hide. Spotting a large coffee table, I ducked under it, pulling my tail in after me. It was a tight squeeze, but I still managed to fit. 

A huge, clawed hand shot under the table and scratched at the floor, stopping just short of me. Snarls and roars of anger permeated the space. 

I retreated a bit further, pulling my tail under my body. 

After a few more seconds, I heard a yowl of pain and the hand was dragged away. 

Feeling a little bolder, I moved forward a bit and the tigress’ face came into view. 

The tigress was lying on her back, with the end of Leetah's nail-studded bat at her throat. She looked up with an expression of terror, presumably at Leetah herself. The room had gone silent, save for the heavy and distressed breathing of the agitated feline. 

“Starting fights with people weaker than you is so much tackier than whatever you think is wrong with him,” said Leetah, her voice thick with contempt. 

“H-he said my dress was ugly!” objected the tigress. 

“It is ugly,” said Leetah matter-of-factly. “Hey Rupert, did you insult the kitty cat's dress?”

“She said I looked like a pig in a costume, so I decided she deserved to hear the truth about her dress,” I replied. 

Leetah cackled. “Can't argue with that logic. Still, maybe don't pick fights with people who are twice your weight and have knives built into their hands?”

I laughed awkwardly. “Y-yeah, probably. But she started it!”

“Oh, I know,” said Leetah. Her bat jabbed at the tigress' neck. “You. Leave. Now.” 

The tigress scrambled to her feet. “Th-this is outrageous, you can't treat me like this!” 

“You assaulted a Contender and tried to kill his partner. It's an understatement to say you've overstayed your welcome,” said Leetah flatly. 

The tigress huffed, then walked away. 

As the tigress’ footsteps became more distant, Leetah peeked under the table, her bright red hair staying firmly in place despite her head being upside down. “You okay, bud?” 

“Y-yeah! Is she gone?” I stammered. 

“Yup!” confirmed Leetah. She offered me a hand. “C'mon, let's get you out of there.” I accepted, and she pulled me out from under the table. 

I dusted myself off. “Oy vey. That was terrifying!” 

Leetah was wearing her Skoink skin, an ensemble that included a blue crop top jacket with one sleeve ripped off, red plaid panties, a studded belt, and pantyhose with meticulously placed rips, including a cutout of the letter “S” on her right butt cheek. Her curved horns added to her wicked and imposing appearance. Now, seen up close, her thin, scorpion-like tail bore a striking resemblance to exceptionally thick anal beads. I decided to keep this observation to myself. The whole thing shimmered and glowed in the same way V1KTU$’s Boomban skin did, but with an alien fakeness that gave off an air of hostility instead of the campy coolness of the Boomban skin. 

“Yeesh, what a bitch. Any injuries?” asked Leetah, looking me up and down. 

“Maybe a bruise or two from scrambling under the table, but she didn't touch me, as far as I noticed,” I replied. “Is V1KTU$ okay?” 

V1KTU$ walked over, his sweater fully intact again. “I'm fine. I might have a scratch or two on my chassis, but my next respawn will take care of that!” He paused. “Uh… A-are you all right? I-I should have done something, but it happened so fast!” 

“I'm okay, I think! You did do something, you managed to stall her for long enough for me to get away,” I said. I paused. “I… thought your sweater ripped?” 

“Kinda?” said V1KTU$. “The skin has a little damage animation, but it disappears very quickly. I'm surprised you even saw it, it's pretty subtle!” 

“Well, I'm glad you're okay!” I said. I paused. “Sh-should we like, leave? I mean, it's fine if not, but that was… That was a lot.” 

V1KTU$ raised a finger and started to say something, as AI-Gent suddenly materialized. 

“Nobody's going anywhere just yet!” said AI-Gent. “The Contenders are about to have a private meeting with the executives of Maulmart. Pepperishi is already there and waiting.” He turned and began to walk away. 

The three Contenders present exchanged hesitant looks. 

AI-Gent turned around and scowled at the group, tapping his foot impatiently. “Well, don't just stand there! Come with me!”

The Contenders began walking towards AI-Gent, and I moved to follow. 

AI-Gent gestured for me to stop, then waggled a finger. “Ah, ah, ah! Contenders only. No friends. Or partners, or whatever.”

“But-” I started. 

“Surely you can conduct yourself with decorum without a babysitter for a bit, can't you?” said AI-Gent, his voice condescendingly saccharine. Without waiting for a response, he turned and walked away. 

V1KTU$ turned back and started to walk towards me.

AI-Gent promptly grabbed V1KTU$ by the wrist, and proceeded to drag him along, an alarmingly powerful feat for what was ostensibly a hologram, particularly considering that the little robot weighed no less than 300 pounds. 

V1KTU$ gave me an apologetically helpless look, and acquiesced to his captor. 

–

I wandered aimlessly for a bit, feeling too unstable to strike up conversation with strangers. Eventually, I found a couch and plopped down on it. Trying to ground myself, I examined the sleeves of my suit, staring into the glitter. 

A feline alien in a tuxedo appeared, carrying a tray, and offered it to me. 

The tray was populated by a few crackers with something green smeared on them. 

“What are these?” I asked. 

“Nettle pâté!” said the cat. “Interested in trying it?” 

“Oh, cool! Yes please,” I said, perking up a bit. I accepted a cracker. 

The cat disappeared. I bit into the snack, and immediately gagged. 

The paste was shockingly bitter, though somehow familiar. I swallowed the bite anyway, not wanting to be rude, and discreetly tucked the rest of the morsel into a napkin. Now that the distraction was over, I focused on trying to stay present. 

My mind wandered over the present predicament. The clash with the tigress, and how exposed I felt afterward, especially now that I had been left alone. 

Why was I left alone? Why did my friends abandon me? Why did V1KTU$ abandon me? 

I knew they hadn't, and he hadn't, but I still felt betrayed and unwanted. 

Why does this always happen to me? Every time I go to a party with someone, something like this happens. Why did I expect any different this time? 

Feeling myself starting to freeze up, I focused on keeping myself moving enough to avoid a full shutdown. 

Suddenly, I felt weight shifting under me, and looked up to see a vulpine alien with silvery fur had seated himself at the other end of the couch. 

“Hello there! What are you doing all on your lonesome over here?” asked the newcomer casually. 

I smiled, grateful for the distraction. “Just taking a bit of a breather! This event has been exhausting.”

“Is that so?” asked the fox, raising an eyebrow. He reached out a hand to shake, which I accepted. “Name's Todd, but you can call me Buster!” 

“Nice to meet you, Buster! I'm Rupert,” I replied. 

“Nice to meet you, too, Rupert!” said Buster. “You here with anyone else?” 

I nodded. “I'm here with my boyfriend!” 

“Your boyfriend, huh? Where's he at now?” asked Buster. 

“Busy,” I said simply. 

Buster rubbed his chin. “Oh, so you must be waiting for him, then! I suppose we can have a nice little chat while you wait, then. Any idea when he'll be back?” 

I shrugged. “I'm not sure, but probably soon?” 

Buster grinned, exposing his sharp teeth. “Well, I'll wait with you, then! I don't want to leave you all alone to sulk. You look like you could use some company!” 

“Oh, uh, thanks!” I replied. 

“My pleasure!” said Buster. He sat back, and looked me up and down. “What a lovely outfit! Cute little thing, aren't you?” 

“Um, thank you,” I said, shifting in my seat uncomfortably. 

Buster inched just a little bit closer. “If only I were 30 years younger! But alas… I'm too old for you, of course.”

“Actually, my boyfriend is almost four times my age,” I said, trying to put as much emphasis on the word ‘boyfriend’ as possible. 

Buster cackled. “Is that so? Hah. Better tie the knot before he croaks, am I right?”

I waved my hands defensively, blushing. “W-what? No! He's a synthetic, and presently immortal.”

“Ohhh. A synthetic, huh?” asked Buster, raising an eyebrow. “Does he have, you know…”

“That's none of your business,” I muttered. 

Buster leaned forward, smirking as he rested his forearms on his knees. “So he doesn't, then.”

“That's not what I said,” I grumbled. 

Buster produced a sleek-looking silver business card and offered it to me. “Well, here's my card, if you ever decide you want the real deal.”

“I won't,” I said flatly, pushing away the card. I felt a wave of drowsiness pass over me, but shook it off. 

“Well! How about we talk about something else, then,” said Buster, tucking his card in my jacket pocket. “How old are you, anyway?” 

“I'm in my 30s,” I replied, wary of giving him an exact answer. 

Buster did a double take. “Wow! I would have assumed early 20s. You T boys always look so youthful!” 

I only grimaced in response. I wavered a bit, suddenly finding it harder to stay awake. 

“Say, how about I tell you all about my trip to Benidrome a couple of months ago!” offered Buster.

“Uhh, sure,” I murmured, struggling to keep my eyes open. 

I tuned out not long after that, and was vaguely aware that Buster had moved closer and put his arm around my shoulders. I tried to object, but couldn't keep my head up. 

A wet nose snuffled in my ear, then moved to my neck. Whiskers tickled my skin, followed by a warm tongue. 

Stirring at the sudden lick, I tried to push the fox away, but he gripped my wrists until they relaxed again. 

I felt a hand on my bare chest, fuzzy paw pads tracing one of my top surgery scars. 

Suddenly, I heard a yipe, and the hand pulled away. I heard Kinni's voice, and I was unable to make out what he said, but he sounded furious. 

Not much later, I heard Kinni's voice again, sounding concerned this time. 

“I don't feel good,” I murmured, opening my eyes just long enough to get a glimpse of Kinni's unicorn mask as he lifted me up and cradled me in his arms. 

“I imagine not,” said Kinni, his voice rumbling against my body. “You're gonna be okay, though, all right?”

“Where's… where's V1KTU$?” I mumbled, barely able to get the words out. 

Kinni said something, and I managed to make out the words “Leetah”, “pry him off”, and “to kill him” before I fully lost consciousness. 

Chapter Text

I awoke to find myself still groggy, but now in a hospital bed. “Fuck,” I mumbled. I roused enough to register that an IV had been placed in my dominant hand. “Ugh. Really?” 

“R-Rupert!” cried V1KTU$, standing up from his seat near the foot of my bed. He was still wearing his Boomban skin, but his sleeves were splattered with brown stains. Despite the shimmering facade imparted by the God Skin, he looked haggard and distraught. 

“V1KTU$!” I said, reaching for him. 

“I would love to give you a hug right now, but they told me I can't touch you until I wash the blood off,” said V1KTU$ sheepishly. 

I eyed the stains on his sleeves. “Whose blood is that?” 

“Apparently his name is Todd,” said V1KTU$, his voice full of contempt. “And no, I didn't kill him. Leetah said you'd probably want to know that part.” 

“I did want to know that, yeah,” I murmured. I pulled my hand down my face. “What a fucking mess…” 

“I just know AG had something to do with this,” growled V1KTU$. “I don't know how, and I can't prove it, but… he insisted on leaving you alone.” He closed his eyes tightly and clenched his fists. “But! I-I should have stayed! I should have put you somewhere safer! I should have done something. Especially after that whole thing with the cat!” 

“Don't blame yourself,” I murmured. “You tried, but he literally dragged you away. I don't even know how he managed to do that, but he did.”

V1KTU$ sighed. “I don't know either. I was caught off guard by that… ugh.”

“Ah, you're awake!” said Leetah, walking in. She had changed out of her Skoink skin, and was in her regular clothing. “The police will be coming by later for a statement.”

“Ahh, lovely,” I murmured. 

“Hey Vik, you mind stepping out for a bit while I talk to Rupert about something?” asked Leetah. 

“I do mind, actually,” grumbled V1KTU$.

“He's awake and safe, especially with me here,” said Leetah gently. “Go wash your hands or something, like the nurses keep telling you to do.”

V1KTU$ flashed me a conflicted look. 

“It's all right, go ahead!” I reassured him.

Reluctantly, V1KTU$ left the room. 

Leetah waited until he seemed to have left earshot, then turned to me. “Hey. How much do you remember?” 

“That Todd guy was trying to chat me up, which was uncomfortable but seemed harmless enough. Except, then I started dozing off, and he licked me and started feeling up my chest. And then… I think Kinni showed up and pulled him off of me?”

Leetah sighed with relief. “Yeah, that's about as much as we were able to figure out. There's no evidence he managed to get your pants off, so… at least there's that?” 

“Yeah! At least there's that,” I agreed. “What happened after Kinni picked me up? I don't remember anything after that.”

“We took you to the ER. V1KTU$ got kicked out of the room for being disruptive, but I stuck around,” said Leetah. “I answered their questions as best I could, and kept an eye on you while they were trying to figure out what was wrong with you. I may or may not have told them I was your cousin just so they'd keep me in the loop…” 

I chuckled. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” said Leetah, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, once they were sure you were stable and V1KTU$ had calmed down, they let him back in, and he hasn't left since. I went home at like midnight to get some godsdamn sleep.”

“Did I get roofied?” I asked. “I thought I kept a good eye on my drink, but maybe not…” 

Leetah shrugged. “They didn't find any of that specific drug in your system, but it's clear someone drugged you with something. You got a little twitchy and limp, and they couldn't keep you awake for long, but apparently no serious effects, fortunately! This is a long shot, but do you have any guesses? Did you eat something that tasted weird? You finished your drink a long time before you passed out, but I know you were munching on snacks after that.” 

My eyes widened. “Oh, for the love of - lamotrigine. It was lamotrigine. I knew that taste was familiar… someone gave me something they said was nettle pâté, but it was really bitter and gritty. I'm already on a pretty high dosage of lamotrigine, so it makes sense that I'd tolerate it well, but that shit makes me sleepy. A few times my normal dose would probably knock me out, especially combined with alcohol.”

“Oh! I'll pass that along so they can test for that,” said Leetah. “I'm glad it wasn't too serious.”

I sighed. “I can't believe I didn't - ugh. What I swallowed couldn't have been more than… 1000mg? 1200mg? But that's a lot to taste. I should have just spit it out, that was foul. I almost threw up, and I probably should have.” 

“Well, there's nothing for it now! Don't beat yourself up over it, you didn't take it on purpose,” said Leetah, putting her hands on her hips. “Question is, who drugged you? Do you think it was the fox guy himself?” 

“I'm not sure, but I have other suspicions,” I said. “What happened to him, anyway?” 

“As far as I could tell, he broke a few ribs when Kinni picked him up in one hand and squeezed him, and I think V1KTU$ broke his jaw. I had to pull him off of the guy before he did worse. Little fucker wasn't looking too pretty by the time the police picked him up,” said Leetah. “Claimed he wouldn't have gone anywhere near you if he'd known your partner was a Contender, but I don't believe that for a moment. Not to mention that saying he should have gone for a more vulnerable target is more confession than excuse.”

I chuckled. “Glad to hear they both had a go at him.”

“I was tempted to get some hits in myself, but I was too busy keeping V1KTU$ from killing him. Oh, well!” said Leetah. She paused. “I'm not convinced he'll get more than a slap on the wrist, legally speaking. But he sure got a beating in the literal sense. So, like. That's something, at least! Maybe he'll think twice before he tries the same bullshit with someone else.” 

“He had the general vibe of someone who doesn't get punched in the face often enough,” I remarked. “I hope you're right, and he's learned something. But you never know, with guys like that.” 

There was a brief silence. 

“So. How are you feeling? After all that,” said Leetah, side-eyeing me. “You're laughing and acting pretty casual right now, but…” 

I shrugged, and sighed. “Well, I just woke up, so it hasn't really hit me yet, I guess. He didn't go very far, fortunately, but that was the most scared I've been in a long time. I barely knew what was happening, and I couldn't do anything about it. The one point where I managed to put up a struggle at all, he just held onto my wrists until I couldn't move anymore. It was like a nightmare, except I knew it was real.”

“I'm sorry you went through that, dude,” said Leetah. “You didn't deserve that.”

“Thank you,” I murmured. I sighed in exasperation. “This fucking sucks. I don't need more trauma! I have shit to do! I don't have the time or energy to deal with this! It's not fair! I have other trauma I'm already trying to recover from. I'm not looking forward to having that conversation with my therapist…” 

“Ah, it's good you already have a therapist!” said Leetah. “Especially one that deals with trauma.”

I searched Leetah's expression. “I know this is a really personal question, but have you ever…”

“Fortunately not,” said Leetah. “I've had a few people get a little too handsy, and I immediately made them regret it. But nothing like what you just went through.” She paused. “I know this much about this stuff because most of my friends are women… and not all of them have been as lucky as I have. You've got a bunch of trans friends, right? It's like that with them, too, isn't it.”

“It is,” I confirmed grimly. “Probably more than half of the friends I've gotten close enough with to have that conversation with have been sexually assaulted. Doesn't help that they're all neurodivergent, in that respect. We're a vulnerable demographic.” 

“Can I ask you something a little… sensitive?” asked Leetah. 

“Go for it,” I said, shrugging. 

“Do you think it helped? Yanno. Knowing as much as you did ahead of time?” asked Leetah. “I ask… in case it happens to me some day. I wanna believe it would never happen to me, I'm pretty damn strong. But knowing that someone could incapacitate me ahead of time…”

I thought for a moment. “I mean, it's probably too soon to say, since it literally just happened. But… I don't think it made the actual experience any easier, but I'm hopeful that I'm going to handle the aftermath better than I otherwise would have. I really appreciate your support, by the way.” 

“No sweat!” said Leetah. “And that's about what I figured. Thanks for answering.”

“No problem,” I replied. A thought suddenly hit me, and my heart sank. “H-how am I going to explain this to V1KTU$? I… don't know how this is going to affect sex. And like, our relationship in general.”

“Don't worry about him. Take care of yourself,” said Leetah gently. “I'll have a talk with him about it, though. I think I've figured out how to communicate with him. He likes it blunt and honest, and he's pretty smart for someone who's also kinda stupid. I think he'll be able to get a decent grasp on it if I explain it right, or at least get the gist of it. Anyway, leave that to me!”

“Are you going to tell him exactly what happened?” I asked, grimacing. 

“Psh! Of course not. That's yours to tell, when - and if - you feel comfortable telling him,” said Leetah. “I'll explain the seriousness of it, and how things might change, and what his role should be right now.” 

I smiled. “I appreciate that, thank you.”

“He's probably cleaned up that blood by now, so I think I'm gonna intercept him on his way back and have that talk with him before he shoves his entire foot in his non-existent mouth,” said Leetah. 

–

V1KTU$ walked into the room, and sat down in the chair again. “Hey.”

I looked up from my phone, and set it aside. “Hey, V1KTU$.”

“I… admittedly do not fully understand the full nuances of what happened to you, as such things were never even remotely on my radar when I was on Tekina,” said V1KTU$. “But I fully intend to support you as best I can.” 

“I appreciate that, thank you,” I murmured. 

“If I understood what Leetah said correctly, sexual intimacy may be off the table for an indeterminate amount of time,” said V1KTU$. “I want you to know that is entirely acceptable, and I will not be initiating until - and unless - you explicitly specify that you would like me to do so again. I also understand that if and when we resume such activities, you may need to take breaks, stop early, and / or require reassurance in some form.”

My shoulders relaxed, and I realized they had been tense. “I'm glad you understand that, and that you're okay with it! I really enjoy sex with you, but things are… a little weird for me right now.”

“No excuses required! I wish to respect your boundaries, whatever they may be,” said V1KTU$. 

“Thank you,” I said, nodding appreciatively. 

“So, uh. How long are you going to stay in this place?” asked V1KTU$, looking around the room. 

I shrugged. “Probably not much longer. They've established I'm not dying or anything, I'm probably heading out after I talk to the police.” 

Leetah walked into the room again. “I just got off the phone with Kinni, and I have good news!” 

“Oh yeah? What is it?” I asked. 

“You don't have to worry about the hospital bill,” said Leetah. “Kukiji is covering it.”

“Kukiji? The god Kukiji?” I asked. 

“That's the one, yep!” confirmed Leetah. 

“So, not GodsTV?” I asked. 

“Also correct,” said Leetah. 

“Like, Their Marketableness Themself™, Kukiji, personally?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“Apparently so!” replied Leetah, shrugging. 

There was a brief silence. 

My brow furrowed in confusion. “That's great, but why?” 

“Kinni just happened to be due for a meeting with Kukiji, and mentioned offhand that his, and I quote, ‘kawaii friend got a boo boo.’ And they decided to help,” explained Leetah. “I mean, first they asked him if you were ‘truly kawaii’, whatever that means, and he said yes, so. Here we are.”

“That's kinda… unhinged reasoning, but I'm not complaining,” I remarked. 

Leetah cackled. “Yeah, that's kinda their thing.”

“And they… want something in return, right?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah, of course!” said Leetah. “Nothing too unreasonable, though.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Might I ask what it is?” 

“In your next three public appearances, they want you to dress head to toe in their branded clothing and accessories,” said Leetah. “You will be provided with the clothing and accessories necessary for this, of course. I know you usually prefer darker, more saturated colors, but…”

I perked up and clasped my hands together. “I love pastels! I've been wanting more Kukiji stuff, actually, but it's prohibitively expensive directly from their merch site. I have a skirt and a top I got secondhand, plus a pin directly from the website, but that's it. I'm fuckin’ pumped, honestly!”

“Well, that's good to hear!” said Leetah, putting her hands on her hips. “Public appearances include stuff like going to court, though, so like… it's not always thematically appropriate.” 

“I will take every excu- um, opportunity I'm given to wear something outrageous in a context that's not necessarily appropriate for it,” I said, grinning. “As far as I'm concerned, and as far as I know, it's win-win for me.”

Leetah nodded approvingly. “That's the spirit! Yanno, I suppose the truly kawaii thing must have actually been a question about whether you'd willingly dress that way and not see it as demeaning, rather than a question about how cute you are in general. Gods don't particularly care what people's bodies look like, as long as they're repping their gear. I think you'll wear it well.” 

“Kukiji is my favorite god,” I said. “Everything in their brand is adorable. Got that cosmic whimsy going on, yanno? Sacred silliness. It's a vibe! I'm honored and a little alarmed to have caught their attention like this.”

“Yeah, about that,” said Leetah. “I say this as someone who works closely with the gods as sponsors… try to minimize how much you deal with them. Fulfill your obligation, of course. Be cute and charming and whimsical in your little outfit, or whatever instructions you're given. But don't get too into it, and don't try to impress Kukiji or kiss up to them. 

And whatever you do, don't meet them in person. Being around them is just… not good for a person's brain. The Contenders are pretty robust, especially since we're contractually forbidden from dying, but you? Respectfully… you're just some guy. You're fully mortal, and you're no fighter. 

Kukiji is adorable, yes, but they're also an unfathomably powerful eldritch being whose core mission includes the abandonment of sanity. I have the utmost respect for them, of course, as should you. But I cannot stress enough the importance of keeping your distance as much as possible.” 

I sighed deeply. “Great. Okay. Another thing to worry about, huh? Lovely.”

“It's not that deep, as long as you keep it that way,” reassured Leetah. “Just thought it was important to warn you. I know you really like to go all in on things, but you absolutely cannot do that with Kukiji.”

“I appreciate the warning!” I said. “Wow. My life has gotten progressively weirder and scarier lately, and it's escalating very quickly now.” 

“Getting involved in the show in any capacity will do that to ya,” said Kinni grimly, entering the room. He was clad in his Kukiji skin, an ensemble most notably featuring a unicorn mask with sunglasses in place of his usual paper bag, a crop top with a rainbow on it, and characteristically revealing underwear paired with a wrestling belt.

 “I really hope I haven't caused you worse problems by telling my sponsor about you. It just slipped out… That's how it goes with Kukiji, sometimes.”

I fidgeted with the edge of the hospital blanket anxiously. “Do they know how or why I ended up in the hospital?” 

“No,” said Kinni firmly. “They also didn't ask. They're not typically curious about details like that.”

“Ahh, good,” I murmured. “One second, I need a moment to wallow in how overwhelmed and terrified I am.” 

“Uhhh, okay,” said Kinni. 

The room went silent. 

I closed my eyes, inhaled slowly, and exhaled slowly. Opening my eyes again, I grabbed my pillow and put it to my face. “Auuuugh!” I screamed, my voice muffled by the stuffing. Slowly, I fluffed the pillow, set it back down on the bed, and folded my hands in my lap. 

“Did… that help?” asked V1KTU$ hesitantly. 

“Not really, no!” I gasped, shrugging in exasperation. “But I tried. I'll try crying later, and see if that helps.”

“I mean. You could cry now?” suggested Leetah. “Not a single one of us is gonna judge you for that.”

“I could,” I agreed, nodding. 

There was a brief silence. 

I put my face in my hands and sobbed. I cried for… I'm not sure how long, but it felt both brief and interminable at the same time. It felt strange to fully lose my composure in front of the three Contenders. My disoriented mind flitted from topic to topic, straying from my current predicaments to other times that the three people in front of me had seen me cry.

Leetah had seen me shed tears of panic or frustration from time to time. Nothing major, or anything in particular I could remember. 

I had broken down in front of V1KTU$ a few times, of course. Even then, though, I could probably count the number of actual tears I'd shed in front of him on my fingers. I could blame that on my testosterone therapy, my threshold for actually crying was astronomically higher now than it was before I transitioned. 

Kinni was the only one who had seen me really cry, when I was sobbing and weeping in his arms in the aftermath of our disastrous hookup. What I hadn't really told him was that I wasn't crying because it hurt. 

Sure, I was in pain, but that wouldn't have been enough on its own to make me break down like that. It was the shame. The embarrassment, the profound disappointment, much more in myself than in him.

I had imagined things would go much differently. To the point of being delusional, even. No, not even a delusion. It was a concept. A fantasy. 

This was how it was supposed to go: I'd meet him somewhere, and we'd hit it off immediately. We would have sex, and it would be so good and deep and meaningful that he would fall in love with me. Let's just ignore that he doesn't seem to be in the habit of forming committed relationships, that just means he's still single, right? Right. And we were going to bond over secret insecurities he surely must have, though I didn't know of any for sure at the time. And it was gonna be great, and we'd have a healthy relationship, and then… I dunno, I didn't really plan that far. 

It was supposed to stay a fantasy. Impossible. Imaginary.

Safe.

Of course, when I had the opportunity to visit the Backstage and meet the Contenders, I jumped at the chance. I remember showing up and thinking… 

I'm not supposed to be here. This was supposed to be 100% fantasy. But would I ever forgive myself if I didn't try? 

And then I saw him. He was big. Nothing prepares you for seeing an outrageously muscular 6'10” man in person. I was afraid, not because I thought he would harm me, but because my celebrity crush was literally larger than life, and how was I supposed to handle that? I wanted to leave, but I couldn't back down now, after all that. 

When I finally got the chance to talk to him, all I could manage was small talk. It was awkward. He seemed a little taken aback, but he was friendly, and I ultimately ended up really enjoying talking to him. 

I was invited to return, if I wanted. And I did, again and again, feeling a little bolder with every visit.

It was nerve wracking, being so close to the potential to pursue my fantasy. But how would I feel if it went wrong? And what if it didn't go wrong? What would I do if I got what I really wanted? 

But I went for it. I took a leap of faith and propositioned my celebrity crush, and he accepted.

I remember sitting on his bed and feeling like I shouldn't have been able to get that far. 

This was supposed to just be a fantasy, not something I could ever actually do. But there's no turning back now. I could call it off, but I've gotten too far to just give up. This is my one shot. 

But what are the consequences if I fail now? What if I fuck this up? How do I handle that? And even if this goes well, what do I do if he rejects me anyway, after all of this? 

And then… things went how they went, which is to say, very poorly. I was left with a small tear in my orifice of choice, half an hour of painful orgasms… and worst of all, a very distressed Kinni. 

That was it. I was sure I had ruined everything. I had my shot, and I blew it. I cried because I failed. I cried because as far as I knew, my fantasy was dead in the water. 

But the kicker was that once I got home, I was relieved. I got that silly fantasy out of my system, without having to face the messy consequences of actually getting what I wanted. I could move on to obsessing over something - or someone - else. I could rest, knowing that I'd tried, but it was just impossible. And I managed it without getting far enough to actually get flat out rejected. It was win-win, really. I was content with that as closure. 

And that was that. At least until… it wasn't. 

I accepted AG's offer, and came back. 

And the rest is history. 

Except… then, Kinni's feelings came to light, and fully upended what I had accepted as closure. 

What I was previously able to dismiss as completely delusional turned out to have been fully possible. 

I found out that I still would have had a chance, despite the hookup fiasco, if I'd only asked. But how was I supposed to know? 

I was offended. I was furious. But there was nothing for it. Nobody was truly at fault. 

Ultimately, it was better that I fell for V1KTU$. I was so much more comfortable with him, and related to him more. I hadn't built such an elaborate fantasy around him. He wasn't my celebrity crush, he was my friend I developed feelings for. 

But I still wondered what would have happened if I'd ended up with Kinni instead. 

What kind of couple would we be? Would we have already had an ugly breakup? 

Look at me, still obsessing over the whole thing. I asked Kinni if he could be normal about this, but can I even be normal about it myself?

And one more thought now haunted me. 

What would have happened if I didn't even come back at all? What if I just left it behind me? What if AG hadn’t even bothered to call me in?

I wouldn't be here in the hospital now, crying because of what happened last night, while also having an ADHD - thought - tangent - powered existential crisis. 

No AG. No blackmail. No humiliating contract. No uncomfortable fancy parties with the rich and famous. No bizarre deal with Kukiji. No… Todd. 

But I also wouldn't be together with V1KTU$. I wouldn't be friends with the three people currently watching me have a breakdown. No strange and exciting disruptions to my mundane life. No outrageous amounts of income. 

What would I be doing right now? 

I'd be dragging myself out of bed for another day working at the grocery store. I'd be thinking about the microwave meal I'd have on my lunch break. I’d be pursuing my next hyperfixation, losing sleep over something completely different.

Would that have been better? To miss the strife, and not know what could have happened? 

No. 

Despite everything, I'm glad this is the path I'm on, even if it turns out to be the path to destruction. 

YOLO. 

–

I opened my eyes. “Sorry, what were you - uh.” 

V1KTU$ looked up at me from the chair he was sitting in. The other Contenders had disappeared. “Ah, you're awake again!” 

“Huh?” I murmured, rubbing my eyes. 

“You fell asleep crying,” said V1KTU$, shrugging. “You must have still been tired.” 

I sighed. “Guess so! I must still be shaking off the meds. How long was I asleep?”

“Approximately 47 minutes!” replied V1KTU$. 

“Whoops! That's embarrassing,” I said, scratching my head. “Wow. I had the wildest ADHD thought tangent before I nodded off!”

“Interesting. What did that consist of?” asked V1KTU$. 

I shrugged. “I… don't really wanna get into the steps that got me there, but I concluded that despite everything bad that's happened, I'm glad I came back after my hookup with Kinni.” I paused. “I… wasn't planning to come back. Despite all of my issues with AG, I'm glad he brought me back in.”

“Well, I'm glad you think so!” said V1KTU$. “You know, I was confused when you first approached me. I had fans, of course, but I didn't get mobbed by them like Kinni did. And the few that showed up always wanted something from me. An autograph, an interview, et cetera… but, you just wanted to talk. As if I was… hmm, not a nobody, exactly. But like we were equals.” He paused. “I-I'm not saying you're, er…” 

I chuckled. “You're a star, I was not, and I still am not. Though I've graduated from an ordinary person to a star's boyfriend, so at least there's that!”

“You were never an ordinary person,” said V1KTU$ matter-of-factly. 

“Well, yeah,” I said, smiling. I gestured dismissively. “You know what I mean, though! I was just some guy.”

“Yes, I do know what you mean,” said V1KTU$, nodding. 

“The first time we met properly was right after I finished signing my contract with AG,” I said. 

–

“Well, now that we have that settled, you can start immediately,” said AI-Gent. 

“Er, like. R-right now?” I asked. 

AI-Gent feigned a keen interest in adjusting his gloves. “Yes, that's what immediately means, Rupert. Is that a problem? You'll get paid for your time, of course.” 

“I, uh. Okay, I'll get right to it, then,” I said. “But, uh. What should I do?” 

“Pick a Contender, and start up a conversation,” said AI-Gent. “Easy-peasy! Doesn't matter which one, though Kinni is probably the obvious choice for you, since you already know each other.” 

I averted my eyes. “In the event Kinni is… busy, who would you recommend next?”

“Probably Leetah,” said AI-Gent. “You two are the same species, so she'll probably be easier for you to relate to than the others.”

“I'm… not sure how well that reasoning holds up,” I remarked. 

AI-Gent scowled. “Figure it out yourself, then. I'm not going to hold your hand through every interaction, sorting out the details is your job.”

“Fair enough!” I said, trying to shrug, then remembering the immobilizing sphincter around my neck. “I'll figure it out.”

“That's what I like to hear,” said AI-Gent. “Now, get to work.”

I extracted myself from the unsettlingly juicy office entry point, and felt around on my upper body to find I was still dry, despite the distinct sensation of warm, slimy wetness during the meeting. Shuddering, I stepped back to regard the structure: a massive, puckering, pulsating orifice that gurgled and squelched ominously. My curiosity overrode my disgust, and I put my hand on the structure again, which twitched at my touch. It felt fleshy and slick with some kind of lubricant, but my hand was still dry and clean when I examined it again. “I'm gonna just… not think too hard about that,” I said to nobody in particular. Like a liar. 

I glanced in Kinni's direction, but he seemed to be preoccupied with a pair of dolphin aliens, posing suggestively as they watched with keen interest. He did not seem to have noticed my presence during the entirety of my meeting with AI-Gent, to both my relief and my dismay. 

Swallowing the stabbing sensation of being ignored, I gave Kinni one more glance, then wandered into the common room, keeping my steps light. I surveyed the room for the Contenders. 

Pepperishi floated a few inches above his rug, deep in meditation. 

Whatever he has going on, I don't want to interrupt him. 

Opposite the room from him was Leetah, touching up her makeup in a compact mirror. She reapplied her lipstick, and pulled several strange faces to check that it was even all around. Catching me staring, she looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. “Uhh. Can I help you?” 

“I, uhh! I-I like your eyeliner!” I stammered. “Those wings are perfect!” 

“Thanks!” said Leetah. She motioned for me to come closer. 

Hesitating briefly, I obliged. 

“I see you're bare-faced today, but I've seen you hanging around Kinni before with a bit of makeup on,” said Leetah. “You want a tip?”

“Sure!” I said, fidgeting nervously. 

“Hard to say since I haven't seen you up close much, but it looks like you have a pretty good grasp on liquid eyeliner, though you'd benefit from a bit more practice,” said Leetah. “Problem is, the product you're using is crap, and you're due for a new tube of it.” She looked me up and down. “I'm gonna assume you can't afford the stuff I use, but I'm sure you can at least do better than bottom shelf drug store garbage. Find an online boutique with good reviews, or at least step into an actual makeup store. Got it?”

I nodded quickly. “Got it! Thanks for the tip.”

“No sweat!” said Leetah. “You also might wanna try a different glitter primer, but I'll admit I don't know a ton about that ’cause I don't fuck around with loose glitter. I'm all about glitter in general, though, as long as it's in a more workable form! Hey, what setting spray do you use? It seems to hold up pretty well for you.” 

“It's a barrier spray meant for theater makeup,” I replied. “Smells nasty when I put it on, but there's no smell once it dries, and I can literally sleep in it and not have the glitter budge at all.”

“Oh, nice! Yeah, I use something like that, especially when I'm gonna be on camera,” said Leetah. “Anyway. I normally see you practically crawling up Kinni's ass, are you looking for him? He's in his usual hangout spot, last I saw. You came from that direction, so you must've seen him, right?”

I shrugged awkwardly. “He's busy.” 

Leetah smirked. “Oh, is he? So, then, you're deigning to kill a little time with the boring Contenders while you wait for your turn with Mister Big Penis?” She folded her arms. “Yeah, I see how it is.” 

“Oh! N-no, it's not like that! I just -” I started. 

“I'm just fucking with you!” said Leetah, waving dismissively. “You do look kinda lost, though. What are you - wait.”

“What? What is it?” I asked, tugging at my collar nervously. 

“Aren't you the guy who hooked up with Kinni a few days ago and then vanished?” asked Leetah. 

“Oh, you know about that, huh,” I murmured. 

“Kinni tells me everything,” said Leetah, grinning deviously. She paused. “Honestly, he tells me a little more than I really want to know, but whatever! I like knowing what's going on around me, especially what my opponents are up to.”

I blushed and drew a hand down my face in exasperation. “Lovely.”

Leetah rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “So, you came back, then. But since you're out here, I'm guessing you're not ready to talk to him about it, right?”

“Right,” I murmured. 

“So. What's the game plan, then?” asked Leetah. “Gonna try to hook up with him again?”

“I… don't really know,” I admitted. 

“Ah. Still sore?” asked Leetah. 

I winced. “Exactly how much did he tell you about what happened?” 

“He was actually pretty vague about it, but all I can tell you is that I know you got hurt, and I know you left in a hurry,” said Leetah. She paused. “This is none of my business, but. Are you okay? Like, physically?”

“Still sore,” I admitted. “But it didn't even warrant a doctor's visit.” 

“Good, good,” said Leetah, nodding. 

There was a brief silence. 

“You're… a lot nicer than I expected,” I remarked. “Er! No offense.”

Leetah cackled. “I'm not that much of a bitch, but I do play one on TV. I wouldn't exactly describe myself as nice, but unless I know someone well enough to pick on them as a joke, or they're allergic to boundaries, I'm pretty light on the bitch factor. I think you'll find that performers tend to behave differently when there aren't cameras around… some, more so than others.” 

“I'll keep that in mind, thanks!” I replied. 

“On that note, why don't you go talk to the little robot?” asked Leetah. 

I raised an eyebrow. “V1KTU$ M4X, the killer robot fresh off of Tekina? I mean, he's cool and honestly kinda cute… Um, don't tell him I said that. But I don't know if it's a good idea to get up in his face without warning.”

Leetah cackled. “Come on. What did I just tell you?” She rolled her eyes. “He's a huge dork. You'll like him. He's a little prickly, I'll admit, but he's more defensive than aggressive. You'll see what I mean.”

“If you say so!” I replied. I looked around. “Where is he, though?” 

“Way over in the corner there, working at that table,” said Leetah, pointing across the room. “He's even smaller than he looks on TV, and he likes to keep to himself.”

I followed Leetah's finger, and spotted the diminutive synthetic tinkering with a drone. “Ah! There he is.”

“Great. Now, go! Shoo!” said Leetah. 

I turned away from Leetah, and carefully approached the table. “Uh. Hey!” 

V1KTU$ M4X looked up from his drone, and let out a long-suffering sigh, his expression one of irritation. “No, I will not sign anything, no, you may not take my picture, and no, my inventions are not for sale. Does that answer all of your questions?”

“Actually, I just want to talk,” I replied. 

“Oh right, forgot one,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “Interviews are by appointment only, just like all the other Contenders. Who let you in here?” 

“No, not an interview, just a conversation,” I clarified. 

V1KTU$ raised a pixelated eyebrow. “Perhaps. Did you have a subject in mind?” 

“Oh! I, uh. What are you working on?” I asked, eyeing the drone nervously. 

“An acceptable topic,” murmured V1KTU$. “Go on, take a seat across from me.” 

I sat down in the indicated chair. 

“All right, we shall begin our conversation, then,” said V1KTU$. “I am repairing this drone.” 

“Oh yeah? What's wrong with it?” I asked. 

“It is not balancing properly,” said V1KTU$. He held up the drone and rotated it for me to view. “It is not bent or otherwise externally damaged. I am presently trying to determine if the problem is due to the failure of an internal component. I have already performed a software diagnostic, which unfortunately yielded no results.”

“Cool! You have a lot of drones, don't you?” I asked. 

“I do,” confirmed V1KTU$. “A substantial proportion of my so-called free time is spent doing maintenance on them. You see, they take quite a bit of damage during challenges, and they require repairs.”

“Sounds like a lot of work!” I observed. 

There was a brief silence. 

“Aren't you going to ask why I do not simply discard and replace them?” asked V1KTU$. 

“No?” I said awkwardly. 

There was another brief silence. 

“But that's… that's how it's supposed to go,” said V1KTU$, visibly confused. 

“Is it?” I asked. 

“Yes, people always - uh. I shall proceed as if you did ask. Is that acceptable?” asked V1KTU$. 

I nodded. “Go for it!” 

“Great! Ahem. Excellent question!” said V1KTU$, raising a finger. “As they are my own design, I would have to build them again from scratch. It would also be wasteful not to collect and re-use the components left intact! Unfortunately, though, this means they sometimes have damage I was unable to detect before installing them, which leads to scenarios such as this. This is not enough of an inconvenience to deter me, however.”

“Seems sensible to me!” I replied. 

“Thank you!” said V1KTU$, grinning. He looked around, leaned in, and lowered his voice. “I get the impression you would be receptive to some additional information. Beyond practicality, I have respect for my weapons. They are important tools, worthy of care, and have some small amount of intelligence of their own. I am responsible for them. After all, if I neglected them, would I be any better than the organics who mistreat synthetics?” He looked at me expectantly. 

“Yes?” I offered. 

V1KTU$ smirked. “Correct! Your responses were acceptable. Well done! You may continue to converse with me.”

“Was that a test?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yes,” said V1KTU$ matter-of-factly. “And you passed it.”

–

“I was really pleased to find out you were so friendly,” I said. 

“I'm pleased to hear that your takeaway was friendly rather than just funny,” said V1KTU$. “I was dead serious, but people seem to find my screening process amusing.” 

“Funny? No. Endearing? Absolutely,” I said, smiling. 

Chapter Text

Having given a statement to the police, I was released from the hospital, and returned to the Backstage with V1KTU$. 

“Kinni said Kukiji was also having a gift for you dropped off here,” said V1KTU$. “I wonder what it is?” 

“Oh, awesome! I dunno, but I have a very exciting hunch,” I replied. 

“And what would that be?” asked V1KTU$. 

I looked around the room a bit before spotting the gift. “Ah, that must be it over there!”

A large plastic terrarium with rounded corners sat on a table near the wall. The frame was pink and embellished with cutesy decals of candy and stuffed animals, and a Kukiji logo was featured prominently in the upper left corner of the front.

I gasped in delight, ran over, and peered in. 

Inside the terrarium, the back right corner featured what appeared to be a small, pastel pink plastic cave fixed in place, with a cord coming out of the back. The cave was covered in anchor points for plastic bricks, the nubs spaced just far enough apart to be incompatible with Legos. On the floor of the terrarium was a marbled pastel pink and blue mat covered in more anchor points, to allow for expansion of the nest. The opposite end featured a pink double-sided food dish with sloped edges, one side being a bit larger than the other. 

The lid contained a built-in LED light, and a small remote sat next to the tank, with buttons promising more color options for the light. Next to the remote was a large plastic jar with a colorful label, containing many foil packets. 

V1KTU$ eyed the terrarium warily. “Are these those spark mites you were talking about?” 

I picked up an instruction manual sitting nearby and started flipping through it, my tail twitching in excitement. “That they are! Hmm, this says that if I give the tank a little tap, they'll come out to investigate!” 

“Ah, they will become enraged and protect the nest?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Nah, they're just curious little guys!” I assured him. Gently, I tapped the front of the terrarium. 

A pink spark mite emerged from the nest, a small, ant-like robot with two screens on its head displaying big anime eyes, and short, soft-looking fur. It waved its feelers curiously, looking out at me. 

“Awww!” I cooed.

“It's hideous!” remarked V1KTU$, disgust in his voice. 

“No, it's cute!” I countered. 

V1KTU$ jabbed an accusatory finger against the plastic. “You! I know what you are. Horrible little machine,” he growled. 

The spark mite looked at V1KTU$, cocked its head to the side, blinked twice, and let out an adorable squeak. 

V1KTU$ screeched in fear and stumbled backwards. “A battle cry! We're doomed!” 

“Relax! It's not going to hurt you,” I said, opening the lid, which swung up on a hinge. 

“No! What are you doing?! Don't let it out!” cried V1KTU$. 

I laid my hand in front of the spark mite, palm-up. 

The spark mite's antennae wiggled curiously, and it slowly climbed onto my hand. 

I gently lifted my hand out of the tank and examined the tiny robot. “Ohhhh, how adorable!” 

“I-I can't believe you're touching it!” stammered V1KTU$. 

I lifted the spark mite in V1KTU$’s direction to give him a better look. 

“You keep that thing away from me!” said V1KTU$ firmly, holding his hands up defensively. “If it touches me, it will need repairs if it's lucky.” 

“Suit yourself!” I said, shrugging. “I read that they purr if you pet them! I mean, I'll pet it, not you.” I gently rubbed the spark mite's fuzzy back. 

The spark mite splooted its legs out contentedly, and let out a soft, trilling purr. 

“I do not like that sound,” muttered V1KTU$. 

“I do, though!” I replied. 

V1KTU$ sighed in exasperation. “Well, good for you, then.”

I gently returned the spark mite to the terrarium, then grabbed the jar of foil packets. I examined the label. “Ah, perfect!” 

“What? What is that?” asked V1KTU$. 

“That's their food!” I said, pulling out two packets connected together, one much larger than the other. 

“Their… food? Do they not feed upon electricity like their wild counterparts?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Oh, it's not really food, it's just labeled that way to be cute,” I explained. “It's building materials! The small packet is parts for the mite itself, and the big one is to expand the nest, including an additional charging station! This is a jar of 10 packs. That's a pretty good-sized group!” 

V1KTU$ eyed the terrarium dubiously. “And they won't, er, eat anything else?”

“Correct!” I said, opening the large packet. “This one goes in the big dish.” I lifted the lid, and poured the contents of the packet into the larger dish. 

The spark mite kept its distance from the activity, but wiggled its antennae curiously as it watched. 

I ripped open the second packet, and poured it into the smaller dish. “And this one goes in the little one!” 

As soon as I closed the lid, the spark mite began its task. It pulled the pieces out of the small dish one at a time, laying each part out strategically near the nest entrance. 

“It's supposed to take about 15 minutes to build the new mite, and then another 15 minutes for that mite to charge,” I explained. “After building the new mite, the first one will get to work expanding the nest. When the new mite is charged, it will join in on the task. That process becomes more efficient as the colony gets bigger.” 

“Interesting!” said V1KTU$. “An individual SPK-ART-752A takes approximately 1 hour and 7 minutes to manufacture when performed by two others, and much longer when performed by one. Their manufacturing chambers typically accommodate multiple builds at a time, though, and larger colonies can have multiple manufacturing chambers. Technically they can accomplish it without one at all, but it takes even longer. Regardless, the larger a colony is, the more efficient they are as well.”

“Oh, interesting! I wonder if that means a spark mite colony could potentially grow faster than a spark ant colony, if the cap was removed,” I mused. 

V1KTU$ gave me an incredulous look. “If you are still attempting to put me at ease, that observation is counterproductive. Still, I suppose I am grateful for the warning.”

I winced. “Whoops! Well, this type of spark mite doesn't have the tools to modify parts, and that process is probably part of why it takes so long for spark ants to be built. They have to shape the parts before applying them, and they're also much more complex. Spark mites are very simple, especially because of their pre-manufactured parts, and they should probably actually be much faster to build than they are. They're programmed to do it slowly.”

“That is also less than reassuring,” said V1KTU$ flatly. 

“Well. Since we're at it anyway, let's read the list of warnings in the instruction manual!” I suggested. 

V1KTU$ let out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. You personally should probably know them, anyway.”

I picked up the manual and flipped through it. “Here we go! Warning: Choking hazard, contains small parts. Pinch hazard. Burn hazard (does not apply to Kukiji branded Tekinan Spark Mites). Do not release. Do not reprogram. Do not modify. Do not taunt Tekinan Spark Mites. Do not immerse in any liquid. Not legal to own on the planet Tekina. For ages 3 and up! Millions sold.”

“I suppose I could have told you most of those things,” said V1KTU$, folding his arms. “But why is it a choking hazard? They… are not intended to be consumed, are they?”

“Infants of most sapient species are prone to putting objects in their mouths to investigate them,” I explained. “They are also prone to putting things in their noses and ears, just because. So, it's advisable to keep small objects out of reach to avoid ingestion or insertion, and attempting to consume inedible objects in particular is a choking risk.” 

“Hmm. That seems like a serious design flaw,” said V1KTU$. 

I chuckled. “Organics are not designed, they are evolved, and they have developed some very impractical body features and behaviors. However, given the fact that organics physically cannot be born fully developed and with pre-installed knowledge to survive, an extended development period after birth is advantageous because it allows time for learning and allows the brain to develop and increase in size dramatically as the child matures. It's fortunate that children are smaller and weaker, because it's easier to physically remove them from dangerous situations and handle aggression before they have learned how to safely navigate life and develop emotional regulation.” 

“I see,” said V1KTU$. “I suppose since organics must grow rather than being built, it makes sense they would have more vulnerable growth stages. Interesting!” 

“Hey, guys! Rupert, I see you've found your gift!” said Kinni, walking over. He had changed back into his usual outfit. 

I nodded excitedly. “I have! I love it! I've wanted these for ages!” 

“I know! I'm glad to be involved in getting it to you,” said Kinni. “Are they as cool as you thought they'd be?”

“So far, yeah! There's one to start with, and I fed it, so it's working on building the second one,” I said, gesturing to the terrarium. “V1KTU$ isn't a fan, but I wasn't expecting him to be.”

“They're… less horrible than I expected,” admitted V1KTU$. “I still don't trust them, though!” 

I shrugged. “That's fine, as long as you don't hurt them!” 

“I won't, as long as they don't harm anyone,” said V1KTU$. “My… immediate reaction was suboptimal, and I apologize. But they're yours, and I will not damage them unless they give me a very good reason to do so.”

“I appreciate that! I won't force you to interact with them,” I replied, smiling. 

“Good,” said V1KTU$ firmly. 

–

V1KTU$ and I were walking down the hall when AI-Gent’s hologram manifested in front of us. 

“I'm now officially under investigation. Are you happy now?” snapped AI-Gent. 

“Not particularly,” I said flatly. “I would have preferred that it not have been necessary in the first place.”

“You cannot even fathom the damage you have done to my reputation with your spurious claim alone,” hissed AI-Gent. “Are you pleased with what you've done?”

I shook my head. “I didn't do a single godsdamn thing. In fact, I never even mentioned you when I talked to the police. If they're up your ass about it, someone else threw you under the bus.” 

AI-Gent narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists. 

“Surely you know enough about me to know I'm a terrible liar,” I said flatly. 

“Why are you so mean to him?” asked V1KTU$. 

“Why is who mean to whom?” asked AI-Gent innocently, adjusting his glove. 

“Why are you so mean to Rupert?” asked V1KTU$, glaring up at AI-Gent. 

“I'm not!” huffed AI-Gent. “I've been nothing but polite to this young man.”

V1KTU$ balled up his fists. 

There was a brief, but cold, silence. 

“Are you saying I'm stupid?” asked V1KTU$, his tone carrying an undercurrent of barely-restrained rage. “Do I look stupid to you?”

“Of course not!” scoffed AI-Gent. 

V1KTU$ shook his head in disbelief. “AG… I have watched you, in my presence, insult and berate my boyfriend. Did you think I wasn't paying attention? Did you think I was too naive to understand? Did you take my silence for ignorance? Do you take me for a fool?” 

AI-Gent provided no response but a glare.

“Setting aside the fact that you just lied to my face,” said V1KTU$, “How about you answer the fucking question?” 

“Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you use that kind of language before!” remarked AI-Gent. 

“Don't change the subject,” said V1KTU$ coldly. “What's your quarrel with him? What did he do to you?” 

“Why do you even like him?” asked AI-Gent. 

“Irrelevant,” said V1KTU$ flatly. “Answer me, or retreat to your office like the coward you are.” 

AI-Gent’s hologram dissolved, leaving only tension in its absence. 

V1KTU$ sighed in frustration and slumped over. 

“Well. You tried!” I observed. “Which I appreciate.” 

“I guess,” grumbled V1KTU$. “I shouldn't have offered him a way out.”

I shrugged. “He could have left at any time. He probably would have done it anyway. That said, saying he's a coward is evidently not enough to provoke him into answering honestly.” 

“I suppose I will need to find another way to provoke him, then!” said V1KTU$. “Regardless, it is a severe understatement to say that I am disappointed in his behavior.” 

“I honestly had low expectations for him, but he managed to go much lower than I expected,” I replied. “I know you've mostly had good experiences with him up until recently, but I promise you he's been an absolute menace for the entire time I've known him. If I didn't enjoy my job so much, and the pay and benefits weren't spectacular, I would have quit ages ago, because he's a nightmare to work for.” 

There was a brief silence. 

“I… apologize again for my initial disbelief when you told me he was so disrespectful to you,” said V1KTU$.

“You wanted to believe that the one other synthetic you interacted regularly with was a good person. I don't blame you for that,” I said gently. I paused. “You don't have to answer this, I know he was just deflecting… but why do you like me?” 

“I will answer regardless!” said V1KTU$, lifting a finger. “Now, there are a lot of things I like about you. You are kind, patient, and soft. You are also remarkably intelligent. But that's not the reason I like you, at the root of it.”

“What is the reason, then?” I asked, suddenly much more curious. 

“You respect me without coddling me, and have since before anyone else did,” said V1KTU$, his tone sober and firm. “And for that alone, I have a deep respect for you as well.” 

“I really appreciate that,” I replied. 

V1KTU$ grinned. “How about you? Why do you like me?” 

“Oh! Uh, this is gonna sound silly,” I said, blushing. 

“I want to know anyway,” said V1KTU$. 

I paused briefly before answering. “You remind me of myself.” 

“I will take that as a compliment!” said V1KTU$. “That said, can you elaborate? I am curious.” 

“This is… maybe gonna sound bad? Or like it's a pity thing, but it's not,” I said. 

V1KTU$ chuckled. “I'm sure I can handle hearing it.”

“Okay! All right. Well, it's how you just… stick out, in a way that people don't understand. You're very passionate about the things you care about. You see things from a different angle, and it's one I can relate to,” I explained. I paused, then shrugged. “Basically, you act like you're Autistic. I know it's probably just a matter of culture shock and such, but I am drawn to you for that reason. But I don't think synthetics can be Autistic, can they?” 

“Synthetics lack organic brains, and autism is very specifically caused by structural and chemical differences in the brain, so I cannot be Autistic any more than I can have a blood type,” said V1KTU$. “That said… I was a bit of an oddity even on Tekina. Once I acclimated to interacting with the others in this building, I didn't feel much more alien here than I did there, cultural differences aside.”