Chapter Text
For the crew aboard “The Shooting Star,” mayhem and mishap were a constant fixture. A squadron of 3 small imps who dedicated most of their days to the confines of a small spaceship disguised as an asteroid, their one task was to grant wishes for human beings. A noble pursuit, guided by the ship’s captain Vex Flint. A squat, grey imp who sported a menagerie of nautical tattoos hidden beneath a black turtleneck and a smooth, bald head shielded by a matching black beanie. Though he was now the head of a ship orbiting the earth as a decoy falling star designed to entice humans to wish upon it, Vex had spent many years prior on a ship upon the sea. A retired ImpNavy vet, the world of wish granting seemed like a promising transition after his service; somewhere new to rise up the ranks and secure a stable career while remaining in an environment not too unfamiliar to the naval one he’d left behind. This would be the case if he wasn’t the commander of the seemingly most unlucky team to ever be employed by The Universe Incorporated.
“Back to square one.” grumbled the grey imp, sinking into his chair. Exhaustion apparent upon his face, he took a long swig of coffee from his “#1 Captain” mug. A gift from his crew; likely a sincere gesture from his younger, bright-eyed shipmate, Net’l Greenhill, and a sarcastic jab from his second in command, Erk Newton. Vex glowered at the title on the mug before rolling his eyes and setting it down. After this last failure, he felt like anything but a “Number One Captain.”
A few weeks prior, the wish detection system picked up the usual prompt:” Wish I may, wish I might.” Immediately after confirmation, they received a call from “Upstairs.” The head of The Universe Inc., Mr. Bigguy N. DeSkye himself wanted to inform them that due to some inter-departmental shuffling there was now an opening at Man In The Moon Productions. This meant there was an opportunity for a promotion, something they hadn’t had for quite a while. Finally! The crew had been having a good run lately; wish fulfillment was steady with no (major) issues. The only requirement was to impress the boss on this request, and they’d be off that orbiter and into a cushy office. Easy!
The wish in question was made by an elderly farmer whose land had become a dustbowl. All he wanted was some rain to revitalize his crops. Simple, really. The first stop was Guy Weather’s (Pre Owned) Cloud Sales and Service: the place for all your weather phenomena needs. After they had a chance to browse the selection, (eyeing some potentially promising nimbostratus,) the owner led the group to a glorious cumulonimbus cloud practically ready to burst with precipitation. “The perfect sports utility cloud.” he called it. Vex and Net’l stared up in astonishment at the behemoth cloud. This was it! With this beauty, that farmer’s crops would flourish in no time! They had this wish in the bag. Well, so they thought. Erk, after seeing the exorbitant price tag, decided to inquire about something more within their budget.
“Erm, no, no, no. we’re looking for something a bit more…”economical.”
Guy’s face dropped. “Oh. So you wanna go cheap.” Rolling his eyes, he motioned for the gang to follow him to the bargain section. “Okaaay, it’s your funeral.” he mumbled under his breath. There wasn’t a thing over there that was going to give a satisfactory result, but the salesman knew it was pointless to argue when people weren’t willing to shell out the extra cash to get the job done right. At Erk’s insistence, they settled on a rather puny looking stratus cloud and went on their way.
“Locating position!” Net’l’s voice echoed over the intercom as he matched up the perfect spot to release their little rainmaker.
“Target locked!” yelled Vex. “Let her RIP!”
“AYE, AYE SKIPPER!” Net’l hollered over the blustering wind as he opened the hatch, the powerful gust blowing his strawberry-blonde hair out from under his hat. The cloud lingered in place for half a second before being swiftly swept into the stratosphere. Processing the immense disappointment, Vex pressed his face against the ship’s window and stared dumbfounded. “It….it blew away…”
Feeling all hope fading, he pathetically slid his hands down the glass, his face now broken out into an anxious grin.
“ Buh-bye promotion. BUH-BYE!” With a dejected look, their hapless commander sighed, flung off his beanie and casually removed his shirt, tossing it to the floor. This was just too much for the old seadog. He thought he had finally led his crew to victory, only for it to fly away in a micro instant. He didn’t blame Erk for insisting they buy the cheaper cloud, he blamed himself for not having the reins on this whole operation. He agreed that the fantastic cumulonimbus was entirely out of their budget, but he could have tried to work something out. Haggle. Try to combine several cheaper clouds, maybe. Find another solution. But time was of the essence; these things have a strict deadline! Vex sulked down into his chair and ran his hand over his scalp.
“Maybe it’s my fault. I mean, who I am kidding…. I’m no leader.”
His lamenting was cut short by his fubsy counterpart. “Well, for once we agree. But if you’re trying to say-“
That was enough for Vex. Feeling the anger rise in his belly, he thought about the many failed attempts at a promotion, the long stretches stuck inside of a giant rock, forced to look at the same planet day after day after day, this dead-end existence, and the constant, cutting jabs from his subordinate. It was all entirely too much to bear, and he wasn’t going to spend another second suffering through it.
“I’m trying to say, I QUIT!”
The youngest swabbie gasped in horror. “Quit??” Net’l’s mind raced. “He wouldn’t! If he quits, then…”
Vex was now hastily filling a rucksack with the contents of his locker, still grumbling under his breath. “I’m getting out of the wish business and more importantly I’m getting away from YOU. Maybe I can get back on the ship somewhere…”
“ No, no, no, no, no, no!” his kvetching was interrupted by Erk, who was now standing at his locker, shooting him a disapproving glare through his goggles. He promptly reminded his captain of what was at stake if he followed through with this threat. “As specifically stated in our contract: if you quit, Vex, the ImpSquad will be no more.”
For half a second, he snidely pretended to consider Erk’s words before cheerfully shouting back “Fine! See Ya!” and with that, Vex got ready to jump ship, back onto earth, far, far away from the place he had come to resent so deeply. But, before he could get one foot off the ship, he was yanked back aboard by Net’l who had begun sobbing. The idea of the crew being split up to him was heart wrenching, especially on such bad terms. It’s true, this job could be tedious, stressful and oftentimes, thankless, but the three had spent so much time together. He considered them his friends. They failed often, sure, but they also succeeded, and each time they all felt such deep satisfaction when they saw the happy faces of the people they helped on their screen. Their job was so much more than meeting numbers, it was about giving a little hope to folks when they needed it most. To little creatures like themselves in this massive company, it may seem like just a drop in the bucket, but to those they help, for a moment it means the world.
Hysterical, he began shaking Vex as he pleaded with him. “Say ya didn’t mean it. SAY IT! “
Net’l was much taller than the other two, with a lanky frame, and quite large hands. Though he towered over many of his kind, he was a very sensitive imp. He cared a great deal about his crew and the work they did. Finally, he released his captain and fell to his knees, still weeping but trying to get it under control. “Can’t you see?” he wept, wiping his nose with his sleeve. “We’d be nothing without each other!”
Ever the contrarian, Erk briefly tried to cut in. “Well, I wouldn’t say-“
“NOTHING!!!” The sensitive young man was having NONE of it. Composing himself, he turned to gaze out the window. “Can’t you see? We have everything we need to build a cloud of magnificent proportions! Right here inside our ship! Inside each other! Inside our hearts!” The big softie gave his pals a squeeze and motioned to all the junk they had laying around their spacecraft. With the right attitude and hard work, he just knew they could turn things around; it wasn’t over yet! His pep talk seemed to work, because Vex looked absolutely moved by his words. Erk had an apologetic expression. He realized he hadn’t been very helpful with this mission, letting his own lack of confidence in their capabilities hinder his work ethic. Luckily for the two, Net’l was always there to uplift them when their spirits were down. Before he could wallow in his guilt any further, he was given an encouraging slap on the back by his captain, who was eager to start building.
“Well, what are we waiting for, let’s get to work!” he beamed with a newfound gusto.
Without a second to lose, the trio started grabbing every loose item they could get their hands on. Not a single scrap of junk or debris was to be wasted. All the clutter they had accumulated from trips to earth was now precious material that would propel them towards their dreams, and when they ran out of loose items, they began removing anything from their ship that wasn’t absolutely necessary to keep intact. Chairs were pulled off their hinges, bolts and panels of steel and metal were yanked from the walls and floors, then melted down to be added to their incredible invention. Through teamwork and sheer determination, an incredible weather machine was crafted in record time. A massive device now extended way beyond the end of their ship, with two copper wheels attached to supercharged pumps meant to rapidly heat up moisture and, ideally, produce a cloud that would grow to as large as they pleased.
“Behold, the DX Cumulo Cloud Machine 300.” announced Net’l confidently. “Gentlemen, begin ignition sequence.”
With the push of a large button, the appliance made a chugging, almost locomotive sound as it charged up, the top of the pumps turning red with intense heat. Soon, vapor materialized out of the spout at the end, growing thicker and fluffier until it began to resemble an enormous cloud, larger and wider than anything Guy Weather had to offer.
“Steady…Steady…” Now the perfect size, Vex instructed the team to pull back and turn the device off so the cloud could be released. Thunder rumbled and lightning flickered, alerting the farmer down below. Astonished, he looked up just as rain burst from their invention onto the previously infertile land. Brought back from the brink, his starved crops perked up and regained their color.
“My wish! IT COME TRUE!” cried out the old man, elated. Overcome with joy, he and his wife began dancing and splashing in the puddles, laughing and crying out in pure gratitude. Meanwhile, the gang on the ship were also celebrating.
“WE DID IT” they yelled in unison.
“The promotion!” shouted Vex jubilantly. “I can almost taste it! No more crummy asteroid!” Eager to commemorate this moment, the captain picked up a mallet and was just about to smash one of the screens (a rebellious mark to the end of their imprisonment on the accursed vessel) when an alarm began blaring. An image of a device was now flashing on the monitor of the screen he was intending to shatter.
“WARNING: ORBITAL SYSTEM COMPROMISED.”
“What’s this?” Vex dropped his mallet and squinted, perplexed. As if it were just a normal, everyday hiccup with their system, Net’l calmy walked over, placed his hand on his captain’s shoulder, and directed his attention to the picture on the screen.
“Oh, that’s real simple. Ya see this little gadget here?” He then turned and pointed to an empty space in the middle of the floor where their orbital generator had been; the one thing that protected them from Earth’s gravitational pull. “Well, since we removed it to build the cloud machine, we won’t be able to maintain orbit!”
The tall fellow delivered this devastating news as though he were telling them the weather. His cohorts stood silently, processing this horrible revelation as the alarm continued wailing in the background. After a moment, Erk spoke up. All he managed to utter was “Uh, you mean to tell me…” before the ship suddenly dropped out of the sky like a sack of bricks, plummeting down to earth at rapid velocity; freefalling right towards the poor geezer’s crops.
The old couple were still blissfully dancing away when the air exploded with a loud CRACK and the two were blown back by a huge blast. Their bountiful harvest was now crushed beneath a smoldering meteor. Without breaking his gaze from the space rock lying atop their prized crops, the former wisher simply said to his wife, “Well now, mama, there’s somethin’ ya don’t see every day.”
It would seem their hopes had been crushed; however, this astronomical event caused a very unexpected chain of events to play out in the pair’s favor. Several local news stations were made aware of the shooting star and subsequent explosion, all rushing to the scene of the incident.
Before long, the farmer and his bride were bombarded with questions and the story made headlines. Because he had “discovered” this fully intact, jumbo meteor, the once poor local yokel was now quickly becoming a celebrity in the area. The story became so massive, it pulled him and his wife out of the sticks, and into the lap of luxury. His wish may have been dead on arrival, but in its place his wildest DREAMS had come true! After the crowds cleared, our little heroes sent out a distress signal and were discreetly collected by a medical team sent out by headquarters.
After their injuries were treated, the trio were summoned to the boss’s office to discuss the promotion. All three shared the same sinking feeling as the large doors opened and they were pulled inside by the golden conveyor-style sliding floors. The suite was well-suited for the man on top. Lustrous, white marble walls decorated with impossibly tall, elegant glass panel windows that gave view to the glorious heavenly skies right outside. Long hanging lights with white and black 60’s mod era pendants lead up to the proprietor’s desk sitting in the center of the room; a beautifully hand carved crescent-shaped piece with a tall backed, comfy swivel chair tucked behind it. Mr. DeSkye was nonchalantly putting golf balls into strategically placed holes built into the floor. Once they were inside, they stood before him, ready to hear his verdict."Very close boys.” started the boss, his eyes focused on the alignment of his putter. “But you didn’t quite grant the farmer’s wish. You made his dreams come true, yes, but unfortunately that’s not your department.”
Before continuing, he gently tapped another ball into one of the holes. “You see, everyone has their place here at The Universe Incorporated. Mine is here at the top and yours, well…”
Finished with his game, their stylish superior walked over to his desk and picked up a large manilla folder containing the paperwork for their would-be promotion, the word “REJECTED” stamped in bold red letters on the front. He dropped it at their feet and reversed the floors to send the imps back outside. Before they were gone, he gave them some valuable parting advice.
“Better luck next time boys and remember, think for yourselves but…invite a friend.”
A few weeks passed, the crew recovered, rebuilt their ship and were back into orbit; back to where they started. Their injuries may have healed, but their pride certainly didn’t. It’d be ages before they’d get another chance at advancement. Finishing his coffee, Vex trudged over to the window and stared wistfully out at the endless space surrounding them. He pondered to himself, just what were they going to do now? Was this it? Was this all they were ever going to amount to? A batch of losers trapped at a dead-end job they were too incompetent to even do properly. Self-deprecating thoughts swarmed in his mind, and it began to wander until the familiar sound of the boss’s alert signal snapped him out of his musing. He was shocked the big guy was contacting them so soon after their last meeting. With a deep breath and a sigh, he gave Net’l the okay to answer the call.