Chapter Text
Olivia’s mother couldn't stand that carefully scrawled Dream on her daughters fragile little arm. So When Olivia is 8 months old, she hires a Witch, some Magician with a family history and personal experience, to remove ‘that abomination’ from her daughter. The Magician inspected the mark closely and assured Her Mother that it’s removal would be a simple thing. After some quick setup, that she tries to ignore, and an incantation, that makes her almost as uncomfortable as that Word, there is a swelling of power and a flash of bright light. Alas, instead of the mark disappearing or fading into memory illustrations have Bloomed across her daughters skin; bright happy things with fantastical Shapes and Colorful flushes that spread and fade like the tides. Unbeknownst to her, it was her daughter's daydreams that were visible along her skin, showing how happy and peaceful Her young mind still was.
The Witch. Feeling slighted, decided to try one more time to do the job for which she had been hired. All seemed to be going well until, with a great Twang Felt in the mind more than heard through their ears, A red string was Snapping into visibility around Little Olivia’s left ring finger, leading off in vividly clear visibility to the wall of the apartment and seeming to thrum with!̶̖̤͓̔͆̐̊̋̈́͂̾̈̅̏̅̀̚͠r̵̫͉̹̆̈͐͋̎̌̒͆͝ȧ̷̛̱̗̦̩ģ̸̜̮̜̖̱̈́́̎̅͂͒̐͑ë̸̡̖͈͎̝̪͍̳̫̏̈́̌̄̽̈́͂͑̌͘͠͝͠͝ͅ!̷̞̥̥̮͇͔̩̯͊͆̽̉̿̀͘͝ The Witch swallows back the lump of Fear clogging her throat, obviously hoping against reason that her client had not heard this lapse in control; Spoiler she did. She tried to quietly explain that what decorated her daughters arm wasn’t some innately arcane symbol or curse; It was Proof that her daughter had a soulmate out there, hence the Red String. And she couldn’t stress this enough; Whomever that was, they were Vastly more powerful than this single Magician and she could not overcome them. Hell, not even a Constantine could fight whatever that was!!! So finally, seeing no other recourse, Olivia’s Mother just…..Gave Up. This change in her behavior started slow, with her leaving her young daughter with neighbor girl for hours while she “worked”. Next it was leaving Olivia home alone while she “stepped out, just for a little bit darling”. Olivia adjusted to this neglect, as all children do, with terrifying efficiency and the calm collected love for her mother.
By her second year of life Olivia was well used to the silence of their barren studio and her mothers harsh words and even harsher slaps. She frequently brought her mother water to drink in the morning without being asked, desperately hoping for her mothers approval, if not her love. This was also the year Olivia first used her magic with intention; to glamour her eyes to appear as normal, human, eyes and the writing on her arm to fade from sight. It didn’t make her mother love her more, or at all, actually, but it made her life more peaceful; with far less crockery
thrown at her head.
Olivia is Three and the studio is clean, or as clean as it can be with her mother always leaving empty liquor bottles lying around and seeming to create messes intentionally. The number of magical accidents Olivia has appears to decrease, even as the feeling of being an overfull balloon becomes a normal part of her everyday life. When her Mother is away, She plays games with her magic lights; Shapes that float through the air, stories told with forms and waves of emotion. She knows her neighbors by name and face now, and speaks with them occasionally, always careful to alleviate any concern they might have for her circumstances, or her Mothers.
By Four Olivia has figured out that using the magical energy that bloats her soul releases a little of the pressure that is forever trying to burst from her skin. Healing bruises, cuts and broken bones keeps the pressure under control. She is now frequently asking her neighbors for help with the shopping, being still too small to get away with doing such herself without censure, even in their less than well to-do neighborhood.
“Mommy works so hard, and I want to Help!” Olivia sounds energetic, excited and happy,*Always happy, always Smiling, can’t Stop Don’t Stop!*. She knows her neighbors think she is adorable and precocious; This is intentional. They are happy to tell her mother how lucky she is to have such a sweet and caring child. Olivia is careful not to show her face until the hand-shaped bruising has almost entirely faded, they can’t find out. She is quick to reassure, when asked, that her mother was so overjoyed she got Olivia a special treat for all of her help.
Olivia is five and shopping for their groceries every week with what little money her Mother leaves for that purpose; She tries not to bother their neighbors anymore, it never ends in anything but more pain. She has twisted and tugged at her Magic, trying to force it, to coax it into hiding the signs of her mothers temper that stain her skin. Eventually she figures out that it will Listen to her, if she is calm and Firm; It might not do as she asks, as she says, but at least it listens to her now. This is the year that she finds out nobody else can remember all that they see and hear and read; that others do not remember being small and helpless, and instead start remembering only bits and pieces from when they learned to walk and afterward. She Knows that this is an Advantage, she listens even closer to the gossip at the market; to the laddies at the store, the kids who talk about their parents. Olivia knows the Power of a secret, and she is happy to collect as many as she can, she feels that someday these secrets will be useful.
Her Sixth year brings the words 'of the Endless' to rest beside 'Dream' on Olivia’s forearm; Secretly she is thrilled. The words feel special, as if they are just for her; she stares at them in wonderment on nights when her mother is out drinking, feeling Strangely loved by a heart she’s never known. She is entirely too old to lie to herself about what her mother is doing and why she won’t come home tonight; Or why she won’t meet Olivia’s eyes. This is the year Olivia starts school, and the year her mother brings home her little brother Jason, with his big blue eyes and soft brown hair. She is so overjoyed when her mother brings home her younger brother in 1910, the first of what becomes more and more siblings; Catherine in 1913, Thomas in 1914, Josiah and Melanie together in 1918. Ever more, More mouths to feed, More babies to raise, More responsibility for her. Things could have gone Much differently; If Olivia had loved them just a little bit less, If she had been just a Little Bit less stubborn, a Little Bit less dedicated. From this point forward, her life comes in the milestones of her siblings, her babies; their joys and their losses.
Jason is only just One year old when a title first prints itself across her ribs 'King of the Nightmare realms'. He is two and walking steady the year another title flows onto her skin. “The Prince of Stories” flows like a fancy sign along her collarbone; Jason’s fingers happy to trace over the delicate words. An illustration that moves across her skin like a bird in flight and showed care for her and her pains, A beautiful oil slick colored raven that flew over her skin, ever dutiful, ever careful. Olivia quickly realizes that her school room can teach her nothing that she doesn’t already know, and Jason needs her at home; to feed him and change his diapers and cuddle him when he is sad. In the end it isn’t a hard decision to make, to leave behind her school and classmates and the time she gets away from home; though she feels like perhaps it should be harder to leave behind. But Jason Needs her, and now as ever She will sacrifice for one of her Own.
The years start to pass her by as water in a stream passes the bank; It might change the banks edges, but largely has little effect on the earth overall. Olivia continues to grow, to care for Jason and then Catherine when she comes home. Beautiful Catherine with her cinnamon colored hair and soft brown eyes, always hopeful and wide. She prays that her sisters dreams are wonderful and vast as she once did for Jason, to carry her away from the pain of their life and their cramped studio, forever too full with their mother’s moods. The year Catherine joins her family would likely have gone otherwise unremarked in Olivia’s own life for anything else, if not for the great black wings that burst from her back when she was defending her siblings.
One of their mothers Men was about to smack Catherine for crying, her fuss quite understandable considering she had been made to sit in her wet nappy while Olivia was out buying more formula. Olivia was quick to dash forward between the brute and her baby sister as soon as she entered and saw what was happening; She found herself utterly shocked and horrified by the Resulting expulsion of wings. She pushed her pain aside to Immediately bring her juvenile magic to bear, wiping the preceding events from his brutish mind and instilling a strong desire to avoid them and their Mother in future. She still struggles to make her magic do even the most basic of things unrelated to survival in her day to day life, but she now has a much better understanding of what the magic inside her soul and skin is and how to bring it to bare.
Olivia is a skilled nursemaid by the time her mother pushes Thomas into her young arms. His Green eyes and Black hair capturing her heart entire; His sweet smile and firm eye contact tell her that he will be someone to be reckoned with when he grows up, its so much easier these days to know her siblings, she certainly has plenty of practice. Her mother once young and lovely, now appears worn down and haggard by the years that have passed and the babies that just kept coming. Olivia swears quietly to herself, and with her full determination, that she will not let herself become that way as she grows older. No man will Ever use her up throw her away the way her mother allows to happen to herself again and Again and Again.
Olivia is old enough now to understand that her mother is a Whore. That she used to dance in the burlesque shows for money, but was forced to move to prostitution as her looks began to fade, and Jason’s father refused to step up into his son’s life. She tries not to hold her mother’s foolishness against her, if for no other reason than she genuinely loves her siblings and would do anything for them. When Jason starts school and Olivia couldn’t be more happy for him, excited to see what he’ll make of his future. She walks him to school everyday, holding Catherine’s hand on one side, Jason’s on the other with Thomas tucked into a wrap against her chest. He comes home overeager to tell her about his day; until the day he comes home with his head hung low, hiding his hands behind him. She is Patient as she coaxes him, gently, softly, to show her to Tell her. She doesn’t let him see her rage as he shows her his hands, red and welted from the caning he received for ‘Speaking out of Turn’.
“Don’t worry Jason,” Her voice is soft and gentle as she wraps his aching hands. Their mother doesn’t even stir from her drunken stupor. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, It won’t be a problem.” And it isn’t, she knows things about Jason’s teacher, and has no problem threatening to reveal these things to the appropriate authorities if he will not listen to reason. She doesn’t know how much the man’s decision was influenced by the magical pressure of her rage against his mind, but she will learn in time. Her first secret used for the best results for her and hers; but far from the Last.
Olivia gets her first job down at the market, so that they can afford more food, they have more mouths to feed now after all and her mother doesn’t bring in the money that she used to all the while she drinks more and more. She works in the afternoons when her mother is home sleeping and Jason is home from school to keep an eye on the babies. She doesn’t earn very much, but she makes it stretch and stretch and stretch; food most often, clothes when she must, and treats always at the expense of her own portions, her babies are always worth it. Her Magic continues to grow stronger and her own exhaustion and lingering hunger do not help her maintain control of the volatile power within her, but she has no other choice so she continues ever onward. *Control, breathe, Hold Firm*, her thoughts sharper, direct and harsh to others, always turned toward the protection, preservation, and growth of that which is hers.
School has just let out for the summer, and Jason has had a good day. His Sister-Mother took him for ice cream for doing so well at his end of the year tests. Mother was gone by the time Olivia had dragged them all back home, so the studio was nice and peaceful for dinner and bed time is progressing as well as it ever does when Olivia stills while tucking him in.
“Mom?” Jason’s voice is soft, hesitant, as Olivia’s Glamours fall. Her eyes, blue all the way through, the raven currently curled around her left eye socket; suddenly visible where normally she works so hard to keep them hidden. “Are you okay?” His small hand comes up to cup her cheek, opposite the raven, and he is surprised as a tear slides down from her pupil-less eyes to sit against his fingers. “What’s Wrong momma?” His voice is still hushed, if more desperate now as he meets her distant eyes. He tries to remain steady for her, as she has always been for him, so that she knows its okay and that she is Not Alone.
“I…” Olivia struggles to articulate the god-awful TWANG that had echoed across the red string she alone could always see from its place around her left ring finger. The way it shook all the way into her soul, how unmoored she felt suddenly, as if she was the oceans and the moon was no longer there to tug her where she is meant to be. “Something- Something’s happened…. But I…. I just don’t know what.” She keeps her breathing as even as she can manage while she answers him. Doing now as she has always done with her own hurts and tucking this new pain, this new discomfort away under her ribs to deal with later, if she deigns to deal with it at all.
It takes her some time, but she manages to get Jason calmed down, to tell him his story until sleep takes him, Almost as if this was any other night. To make sure the other kids are sleeping soundly, As if her heart doesn’t hang heavy and aching within her breast. In the nearly silent studio, surrounded by the sound of her babies softly breathing, Olivia places her hand over heart and examines the feeling of loss that will not dissipate, The ache there that does not fade. It is directionless, the string around her finger loose and limp for the first time in her memory, dead to her magic in a way she hadn’t even known she could feel but for the gentle hum of life gently held, protected within the chord of the string itself. She pulls up her sleeve to check her wrist, suddenly terrified it will also be dead, and her words are still there, stark and inevitable; though her Raven seems sad, perhaps lost as it glides morosely down to perch upon the Dream, His wings coming around as if to cradle the name. Her fingers gently stroke over his inked feathers in an effort to comfort him; She will adjust to this as she adjusted to all other things. She doesn’t notice the pervading feeling of cold within her chest, not right away anyway; It’s Jason and Catherine, asking why she’s cold to the touch now the following morning that alerts her to this changed reality. Olivia finds that for all its inconvenience, she can see it only as blessing.
The next year Olivia gets a job at the burlesque show down the street from their Ratty studio; Thankfully not the same one that once hosted her mother. Olivia, for all her youth, looks old enough to pass in the club unremarked but for being popular. She carries herself as if she’s older than she really is, and this buys much forbearance from the owner and the clientele. The money is good here, good enough to hire a neighbor girl to watch the babies and make sure everyone gets dinner while Olivia works. She steadfastly ignores her mother’s grumbling when they do, rarely, run into one another coming and going from the studio; This drives her mother’s resentment higher and higher as she watches her daughter move into a job she used to hate with calm determination. For all it’s hardships life feels…. Good; But change is on the wind even now, and once again Olivia braces for the impact of what must be coming her way. She will not cower from this change, She will not quail from whatever hardship it brings, She will hold her head high and Endure what comes; for, really, what other choice has she ever had?