Work Text:
Talking to Lux first thing in the morning was a mistake. Their voice was grating, their personality even moreso, and the lights all over their body and illuminating their head hurt your eyes. If they weren’t your lights, you’d think they’d be the personification of your sensory overload. They certainly were a source of it.
Once Lux left, you felt high-strung. You needed an outlet for your anxious energy. So you went to the Hanks. They were nice and energetic, you knew you got along with them perfectly fine. You succeeded in cheering yourself up and tiring yourself out, though the large group of himbos were very draining on your social battery. You had to make a quick exit anyways once you remembered you agreed to meet up with Chance for a G&G session.
Apparently it was too much to ask for a fun little G&G session with Chance, Lux had to be there once again to annoy you and insult one of the things in this house you genuinely cared for. You barely held it together, on a knife’s edge between blowing up or shutting down. You snapped at Lux once or twice when they opened their big mouth to call the writing bad or make the game all about themself.
Chance made a comment about monologuing as the big bad of the session, and as you opened your mouth to respond, Lux interrupted claiming to have a monologue too. It was a small thing compared to everything else they had been doing to irk you today, but it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. You shut your mouth, glaring at Lux as anything you could say in response died in your throat as you tried not to break down in frustration.
Chance frowned as he looked at you, then shot Lux a glare. “Fine, go ahead and monologue, just do it in some other room,” he snapped.
“Kay, bye!” Lux chimed in their sing-song voice as they skipped out of the office.
Chance let out a sigh as he turned his attention to you. “Anyways, monologue?”
Not trusting your voice at the moment, you gave Chance a small smile, nod, and a gesture to begin. You let yourself focus on Chance’s voice, the words of his lovingly-crafted G&G session washing over you, grounding you and distracting you from all the little irritants of the day.
You defeated the evil, no help from Lux, and finished Chance’s story. The adorable nerd beamed at you, his words getting away from him as he lost himself in his excitement over how much fun he had. You gave him a wide smile in return, you adored Chance. But your social battery was draining much faster than the battery in the Dateviators. You needed a break.
You looked at Phonecia’s clock, seeing that it was almost dinnertime. Almost was good enough for you. Luckily Freddy seemed to understand you weren’t in the mood for conversation as he handed you a slice of leftover pizza to eat. Not bothering to heat it up, you brought it over to the kitchen Abel and began picking pieces of pineapple off of it, not for the first time cursing whatever employee got your order wrong for making you do all the extra work to make the pizza edible and not a texture nightmare.
Suddenly your eyes felt dry. Or… was it actually sudden? As you blinked, you realized you’d been spacing off, staring into nothingness to try to compensate for the hectic day so far.
“Hey, dork. Started to think you’d forgotten about me,” Doug’s monotone voice startled you as his pure white body materialized in front of you. Just the presence of someone else, trying to talk to you, spiked your heart rate. You couldn’t do this right now. You needed a break. You glanced around for an escape. Technically you could take the Dateviators off, but that would probably upset Doug, and you really didn’t want to see him upset. He was bad enough when he actually kinda liked you.
“Please, I just want a moment to myself,” you tried to protest, though not nearly as assertive as you would’ve liked. Your breathing was getting quicker, you tried to slow down your breaths but you couldn’t focus on counting them.
“What was that? Couldn’t hear ya,” Doug responded, very clearly not going anywhere. “Pretty rude of you to just ignore me.”
Shit. You still upset Doug. You were being rude, annoying. Even this jerk thinks you are a jerk, what does that say about you? You started tapping your fingers rapidly on the table. You could feel your heartbeat racing in your chest, you needed to get that energy out with a stim.
“I’ll talk to you later,” you said, voice tight.
“But I’m here now. And you aren’t doing anything important,” Doug stated. “I just found this new site full of car crash videos. Thousands of ‘em. Some of them are super gnarly too.”
You were spiraling rapidly into a meltdown, and Doug was the last person you wanted to witness you break down.
“Please just go away,” you insisted, standing up off of Chairemi, bringing a hand up to your chest to keep stimming, tapping your fingers against the skin just above your shirt collar. An old self-soothing technique, but it doesn’t seem to be working this time. You closed in on yourself, both arms crossing over your chest.
“Wow, dorkus, crying over a couple car crashes?” Doug scoffed. You paused your stim to reach up under the Dateviators, wiping away the tears that were forming.
You couldn’t do this right now, you couldn’t hold off the overwhelming surge of negative emotion. You needed to find a place to let the meltdown wash over you and get out of your system. Normally that would be, well, your house. Usually the bedroom, curtains shut and coccooned in your bed under your weighted blanket with a plush and your phone on a simple puzzle game. But now your house was filled with people, the objects in your house given sentience. Even if you took the dateviators off, you knew that they’d still be watching you, judging you for crying over nothing. This was your first full meltdown since acquiring the Dateviators, you didn’t know what to do.
Doug was still talking, but you stopped listening, trying to make a tally of potential hiding spots. The bed was the first thought, but you didn’t want to upset Betty, the Hanks would be entirely too much, Hector would be watching from the vent, Timothy would be judging you from his spot on the dresser that’s been acting strange ever since you tried to talk to it, not to mention Ben-Hwa and their entire… deal. Both the shower and the bath were no-gos as well, you didn’t want to deal with Johnny, Jean-Loo, Bathsheba, or Rebel. And you really didn’t want to risk Amir’s pitying looks in either bathroom or the bedroom.
Every inch of the house held dateables that would be watching you, judging you or worried over nothing because of you or trying to help but only making it worse. You swore you could already hear Freddy and Mitchell talking about you while you stood frozen in the kitchen.
Finally you realized, the crawlspace was the spot with the fewest dateables. Keith and Bodhi had already taken up spots upstairs, so it was just Vaughn, and you could throw him up in the closet with Winnifred. Then it was just Trap Dorian who would be able to watch you have a meltdown.
You headed for the office, Doug calling after you in protest, as you made your way through Office Dorian to the office’s Closet Dorian. Standing above the rolled-up rug and Trap Dorian, though, you frowned. What person in their right mind would pick a crawlspace for a meltdown? It was incredibly dusty and gritty under there. You’d get dust and dirt all over your eyes and nose. It would be a sensory nightmare.
Your chest was tight, tears now falling uncontrollably down your face, the meltdown was in full force and you had no way of calming down from it.
You turned around, back to Office Dorian. You knew that every Dorian in your house was essentially the same person, but this was one of the first Dorians you talked to. Something felt… safer about him. You activated the Dateviator’s beams to summon him in front of you. Instead of a greeting, you could only get out a sob, covering your mouth with your hand.
Dorian’s worry was clear on his face. “Hey, love, what can I do for you?” he asked, his tone gentle as he reached towards you, though refrained from actually touching you.
“S-someplace-” you started stammering, just trying to get the air in your lungs to speak. “Need to hide. Can- can you- the dateables… kick them out, somewhere?” You didn’t know if what you were saying came out coherently. If you could just find one space in your house with no dateables, just Dorian guarding the door, that would be ideal. But while you could move most of the dateables out of the closets, the office closet had Winnefred, and the upstairs hallway closet had the Breaker Box, neither of which were moveable. Not to mention Lux being practically everywhere. But if Dorian can kick their consciousnesses out of the space where their objects were, that could work.
Dorian looked confused. “You mean separate them from their physical forms?” he asked. You nodded. “Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that.”
“Then where?” you asked. The tapping stim wasn’t helping, so instead you started scratching your nails across your collarbone. A little bit of pain to distract and try to help you think straight. You contemplated just collapsing right there at Dorian’s feet, preferably just outside the office where it was just Dorian, Abel, and Stella nearby.
Dorian’s eyes went wide in alarm when he saw the raised red welts from your nails. “Please, don’t do that!” he exclaimed, grabbing your hand and pulling it away from your chest.
You let out a startled yelp and flinched back, though Dorian had a firm grip on your hand still.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologized, dropping your hand and bringing his up to his hair to run his fingers through. “I just didn’t want you hurting yourself.”
You couldn’t stim. You couldn’t think. You could barely see through the tears. It was a miracle you could still stand, you were trembling on your feet.
“Cariño?” Mateo’s voice called out from the direction of the living room. You looked up, seeing him heading your direction, past Stella. His expression was one of pure concern as he looked between you and Dorian.
You cursed in your head, looking away and frantically wiping the tears from your eyes under the Dateviators, though it was a futile effort. Mateo had heard you. He had enough on his plate worrying about his inanimals, he didn’t need to be worried about you too.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Mateo asked, his voice gentle as he stopped close to you and Dorian.
You couldn’t answer. You could barely breathe. All you could do was cover your face with your hands and wish everything would just go away.
“I don’t know the exact details. But something happened in the kitchen with Doug and you know how he can be,” Dorian explained, his own tone soft as he talked to Mateo, though with a slight edge of annoyance as he mentioned Doug. “They were looking for someplace to hide.”
“Oh, Mi Vida,” Mateo breathed, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it over your sniffling. You heard him shift, taking a couple steps closer, sliding his feet across the floor audibly as he moved. “Would you like to come with me to see the inanimals? You can hide with me at the shelter.”
You hadn’t even thought of trying to go into any of the dateables’ personal spaces. As far as you knew, dateables’ spaces didn’t contain additional dateables themselves, so it would really just be you, Mateo, and the inanimals. You nodded, slowly lowering your hands off of your face and tentatively looking up at Mateo.
Mateo was looking at you with a soft, sad smile. “There you are,” he said, and you had the urge to cover your face again but you resisted. “Come here.” He held out his arm towards you in invitation, which you took, stepping unsteadily next to his side and letting him wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you tight against his side. His blanket coat was incredibly plush and soft, yet his warmth still radiated through, the weight of his arm across your shoulders grounding. He smelled like freshly washed cloth, even though you had no idea when he last saw Washford and Drysdale.
Mateo began to walk, and you fell into step next to him, leaning into him slightly. He walked slowly, making sure you wouldn’t lose your footing while he led you into the living room. You ignored the other objects in the room as you focused solely on Mateo and the blanket fort-shaped structure that was Scraps of Hope, right next door to Koa’s restaurant in your living room.
You were holding everything in, but just barely. Your mind was carefully blank, your breaths shallow, focused solely on putting one foot in front of the other. But the tiniest thing could throw off the precarious balance you’ve achieved.
The moment the doors opened, you were greeted with barks from Stitch and a couple of the other tasselhounds. A tiny thing that sure enough threw off your mental balance. You flinched, the loud noise again spiking your heart rate, some tears springing up in your eyes ready to fall. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. You couldn’t handle loud noise right now. Why did the smallest things have to set you off?
Mateo frowned at your reaction, before holding the arm that wasn’t resting on your shoulder out to the inanimals, gently shushing them. “Oya, settle, shh,” he soothed, making sure not to raise his voice. It took a couple more shushing noises from Mateo but the barks did stop.
He again turned his head to look at you. “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you that they might get loud,” he said, dipping his head in apology.
You shook your head, not trusting yourself to say anything coherent. You were afraid that the moment you’d open your mouth, the last thread on your control over your emotions would snap and you would start sobbing. You should’ve expected that excited tasselhounds would get loud anyways, Mateo did nothing that needed an apology. It was quiet now, so long as nothing sets them off barking again, you’ll be fine.
“Let’s go sit down, alright?” he suggested before leading you further into the shelter.
Most of the space within the shelter was open for the inanimals to run around in (or slither, in the case of the pythorn you had rescued) and was littered with pet toys of various sizes and types. At the back of the shelter was a small kitchen-like feeding area for the inanimals and a door which you presumed led to Mateo’s actual living space. To the left was the grooming station with tubs, grooming tables, brushes, combs, multiple types of soap and shampoo, clippers, and just about anything else one might need to groom any kind of pet. To the right was a large sitting area with a plush couch, some chairs and a table set up for conversation. Just past the sitting area, however, was a pile of cushions and pillows set out on the floor. Some were clearly for the inanimals, though others were perfect for Mateo, you, or any visiting objects to just sit to play with the inanimals.
Mateo led you over to the pile of cushions and pillows. His arm dropped from around you, and you instantly missed his warmth as he lowered himself down on a particularly large cushion in the pile. Once settled, he held open one side of his coat as he looked up at you with a soft smile, an invitation to join him within the blanket.
You carefully lowered yourself down to his side, still shaking from trying to keep your emotions under control after the earlier outburst in front of Dorian. As you moved into place, your hand hit the blanket that Mateo had tied around his waist. It was a hand-me-down throw blanket that was clearly meant more for show than for comfort. It might’ve been softer once, but time and multiple washes have rendered it stiff and slightly scratchy. On a good sensory day, you could deal with the rougher texture for its warmth and weight as you sat on the couch so long as there was a layer of clothing between it and you. But today was not a good sensory day. Today, that blanket felt like sandpaper against your palm, causing you to jerk your hand back, flinching from the unpleasant feel of it.
“Ah, sorry,” he apologized again, hands instantly moving to untie the knot keeping the blanket around him. “I should know this one isn’t exactly the best thing while trying to come down from a meltdown.”
You looked up at him in surprise. “Y-you know what this is?” you asked, voice quiet as you spoke your first actual words to Mateo today. You wiped the moisture from under your eyes, the tears were starting to flow again, just as you feared might happen if you took the effort to try to speak.
“Of course I do - ah, there we go!” he responded, cutting himself off once he successfully removed the offending scratchy blanket, tossing it off to the side. That out of the way, he again held his arm out to you invitingly.
You scooted in close to Mateo, tucking yourself against his left side and sitting sideways, your legs crossing over his lap. He wrapped his blanket jacket around you, holding it in place with his arms curled protectively around your body, coccooning you with him inside the bubble of comforting warmth. You again tucked your arms in next to your chest, tapping your fingertips just below your neck, taking care to avoid the scratches near your collarbone.
You leaned your head against the crook of Mateo’s neck, closing your eyes and half hiding your face. You could finally let your tears fall freely, no longer having to worry about being watched and judged. With the tears came sobs, the dam finally fully breaking as you let yourself be swept away in the meltdown, no longer fighting it.
“That’s it, Cariño,” Mateo said gently, his right hand coming up to smooth over your hair. You felt him rest his cheek on the top of your head. “You’re safe here to just let it out.”
You took a deep breath, the exhale coming out as a shaky sob. His arms tightened around you, the thumb of his left hand tracing soothing circles in your arm while his right hand moved from your head to your cheek to try to wipe away some of the moisture left from your tears. You tried to focus on the grounding feeling of Mateo wrapped around you, the movement of his hands, the steadiness of his chest rising and falling with his breaths. You took another deep breath, this time only slightly shaky on the exhale.
Mateo spoke gently to you, but you couldn’t process his words. It might not’ve even been all in English. While his left arm stayed firmly around you, his right hand alternated between stroking your hair and wiping tears away. You didn’t know how long you sat crying into his shoulder, but you’d be happy staying there forever wrapped up in his comfort.
A meow sounded just to your left, prompting you to blink open your eyes and look, finally lifting your head off of Mateo’s shoulder. You saw Sprite standing next to Mateo’s legs and looking up at you with her wide feline eyes. Glancing around, you also noticed Davi, Stitch, and a few of the other tasselhounds nearby, looking at you with tilted heads and curious expressions.
“Looks like some of the inanimals want to make sure you’re okay,” Mateo pointed out, you could practically hear his soft smile in the affection in his tone. He brought his hand away from your face to hold it out palm-up next to Davi. The inch-tall knit bull jumped into his hand, apparently knowing that was exactly what Mateo was offering.
“Would you like to hold Davi?” Mateo offered, bringing him in front of you. You of course couldn’t say no to the cute little canine-like face. You nodded and held out your hands in front of your chest, Davi easily jumping from Mateo’s hand to yours.
Davi gave a small concerned whine, though thankfully refrained from any more barking. You gently pet the tiny inanimal with your thumb, keeping your hand steady as you carefully stroked the knitted fur.
Sprite apparently saw you holding Davi as a hint that you wanted inanimals on you, or perhaps she was taking the opportunity while your hands were occupied, and climbed into your lap with a soft purr.
“Looks like Sprite’s warmed up to you now too,” Mateo commented, reaching down to pet the feline as she settled in your lap. Her purrs became louder, the sound vibrating through her corded body.
The tears had finally stopped, at least for now, but you still felt like an exposed nerve. The smallest thing could set you off again. You just stared at Davi, content to sit in your palms and let you pet him, as you tried to figure out what you wanted to say to Mateo.
“I’m sorry,” were the only words you could think of to say. You lowered your hands to let Davi jump down if he wanted to, though he remained settled in your palms for the moment.
“Why are you apologizing?” he asked, sounding confused. You glanced up at him, seeing him looking at you with a frown.
“I’m crying for no reason. Getting my tears and snot all over your shoulder,” you explained. Davi seemed to sense you wanted your hands back and jumped down, though he stayed close, curling up next to your leg. You brought your now-free hands up to wipe the tears away from under your eyes before resuming your stim tapping your chest.
“Nothing a trip to Washford and Drysdale can’t fix,” Mateo assured. “You never have to apologize for having a meltdown, to me or to anyone else.” He cupped the side of your face with his right hand, and you leaned into his soft palm. “If you need to cry, you can cry.”
“That reminds me, I wanted to ask, how’d you know it was a meltdown?” you asked, bringing a hand up to cover Mateo’s hand on your cheek.
“I’ve comforted you through meltdowns before,” he replied simply, still holding you firmly to his side. “I liked whenever you used your weighted blanket. I could hold you as tightly as you needed when you did.”
You could practically feel your heart swell at that, remembering all the times you wrapped yourself up in your weighted blanket. It always felt like a hug when you needed one, and now you knew it was in fact Mateo’s way of giving you a hug when he was just an object to you. Even before you got the weighted blanket, blankets have always been your comfort and shelter when the outside world was too much. Fully coccooning yourself up in your bed, blanket forts, hiding under the covers from bright lights or imagined monsters. Mateo has always been there for you.
The realization and emotion it brought with it was almost overwhelming. Coupled with the gentle way that Mateo was smiling down at you, you couldn’t take it. You shifted, throwing your arms around Mateo’s middle as you buried your face in his shoulder. Sprite let out a meow in protest at her chosen perch moving under her slightly, darting off your lap to find someplace to lay that wouldn’t move so much. Now freed of wanting to stay still for the inanimal, you moved to sit more fully in Mateo’s lap, finding a more comfortable position for the hug.
“You’re going to make me cry again,” you protested, voice slightly muffled by Mateo’s shirt.
Mateo chuckled as he wrapped both of his arms around you, almost fully enveloping the upper part of your body within his coat. Despite how much warmth Mateo gave off and the thickness of his blanket coat, you never got uncomfortably hot wrapped up with him.
“I just want you to be comfortable. It saddens me to see you upset, but I want to continue to be something you can turn to when you need comforting,” he stated.
You pulled back a bit so you could see his face, moving your hands up to Mateo’s shoulders, still keeping close enough that his arms were still loosely wrapped around you. “Thank you, Mateo. I’ll… try to keep that in mind. It’s just… overwhelming, you know? Suddenly my house is filled with so many people,” you told him, glancing at his face briefly before your eyes darted away again. Eye contact was still too much. “It’s fun, but it can be way too much.”
Mateo hummed in understanding. “Is that what happened to trigger the meltdown?” he asked. “The other things being too much? Dorian mentioned Doug.”
You sighed. “It was mostly Doug and Lux. Lux was too… bright, and then Doug wouldn’t leave me alone when I asked,” you explained. He frowned. “And then the Hanks were great, but very draining, which also wasn’t exactly the best idea.”
Mateo nodded. “And this?” he asked, a hand coming up to very gently touch next to the scratches on your chest. “Where did this come from?” He was looking at the scratches in concern, probably trying to determine if they broke skin.
You sank in on yourself, anticipating the judgement that would come with the truth. “That was me,” you said, again avoiding his gaze. “The usual stims weren’t working. I was… I needed something…” You couldn’t find the right words to explain. You didn’t exactly have an explanation. You knew it was a bad stim. You couldn’t look at Mateo, you didn’t want to know what kind of expression he was giving you at that confession.
“Mi Vida,” he said, trying to get your attention. His hand lifted from the scratch to your chin, trying to get you to turn your face towards him again. You couldn’t, stubbornly keeping your gaze fixed on one of the pet beds off to the side. “You’re acting like you’re expecting me to be upset with you.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” you replied, strain in your voice. “I think Dorian was.”
Instead of giving a response, Mateo leaned down. You didn’t know what he was doing at first, until you felt his soft lips touch the scratches on your chest in a gentle kiss.
You felt your heart start racing again, but in a good way this time. You weren’t losing control of your emotions, just the color on your cheeks as the gesture caused you to blush. The rest of you, however, froze, not knowing what to do about the gentle affection.
Mateo moved slowly, only lifting his lips slightly off your skin before moving up, placing another kiss at the top of where the scratches started. Then again, placing another kiss on your shoulder.
“Te amo, mi amor. Mi vida,” Mateo said, voice barely above a whisper. You felt his breath caress your neck and shoulder, his lips brushing over your skin as he spoke. He nuzzled into the side of your neck, placing another soft kiss where your neck met your shoulder. “I could never be upset with you.”
You wrapped your arms around him, your left hand tucked under the blanket jacket while your right came up to the back of his head, your fingers sliding through his extremely soft hair. You felt more than heard Mateo’s happy sigh at the feeling of your hand through his hair, his warm breath tickling the base of your neck.
“I love you too, Mateo,” you replied, your voice soft. “Thank you so much.” You sighed. “I could stay here forever, but I should probably stop intruding on your rescue shelter now that I’ve calmed down.”
Mateo shook his head, his arms wrapping tighter around you as if to try to keep you in his lap. “Nonsense,” he stated, lifting his head up from your shoulder. “You’re part of this family now, remember?” he gestured to the inanimals now all settled nearby the two of you, Sprite and Davi still nearly touching your leg while they lay next to you and Mateo. “You belong here as much as any of us. Stay for as long as you want. I just…” He hesitated, glancing around nervously. “I just have one small request.”
It must be something important for Mateo of all people to ask for something. “What is it?”
His eyes returned to your face, his expression serious. “Just… try to be more gentle with yourself, okay?”
You gave him a soft smile. “I’ll try.”
*****
You ended up falling asleep at the inanimal shelter, covered by Mateo’s jacket, Mateo himself, several tassel hounds, and one American Cordhair who decided that once you’d laid down, you weren’t going anywhere.
You didn’t mean to fall asleep there, and you didn’t even realize you had until you felt yourself starting to wake up. You had no idea how much time had passed.
The first thing you noticed was the comforting weight draped over you. “Sorry, Mateo, seems like I dozed off,” you said, reaching a hand up to wipe the sleep from your eyes. Except, something was missing. The Dateviators.
Blinking your eyes open, you glazed around in confusion. You were no longer inside Scraps of Hope, rather you were laying on your couch, the dateviators on the coffee table in front of you. The comforting weight you felt wasn’t from Mateo’s limbs like you thought, but rather your weighted blanket, somehow now draped over you in your living room despite last seeing it tucked away inside your bedroom closet.
You pulled the blanket up around you until only the top of your head wasn’t covered, snuggling into its soft covering. “Thank you, Mateo,” you said quietly as you contemplated sleeping for a bit longer.