Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leighton stared at the sealed container on the coffee table. 

“So she gave you this to give to me, after offering you money for my hair?” Leighton looked over to Kimberly. 

“And your underwear. She regrets giving them back.” 

“God, she’s psychotic.” Leighton now sees that she could’ve been a bit more discerning about who she hooked up with. She really needed to be more careful.

“So glad she knows where we live.” Whitney rolled her eyes. 

“What is in the container?” Leighton eyed the container trying to make out what was inside before she opened it. 

“Something that she said she made special for Leighton and only Leighton to eat.” 

“So that’s poisoned and she’s gonna kill me.” Leighton laid the container down carefully as if it was a bomb. 

“She also wanted me to put this under your bed.” Kimberly held up a velvet pouch. “But I had to wait until the full moon to do it.”

“Dude you fucked a witch.” Bela looked at Leighton in shock. She picked up the container and saw red. “I think there’s blood in here…” She went to open the container but Whitney grabbed her arm. 

“We don’t know if whatever method she picked to kill Leighton couldn’t kill us if we open that. Leighton, you need to deal with it because if Cat comes back here, I am telling her that you love her.” Whitney was surprised that Leighton was the one to bring some witch bullshit in. She figured that Kimberly would be the one to do it first. 

…

Kimberly ran to the dorm as fast as she could. 

She was so glad that Leighton hadn’t left yet for her morning classes. She was a bit surprised that Leighton wasn’t even out of bed yet. 

“Leighton! I found out from Lila what Cat’s deal is. She’s Wiccan, but not like normal Wiccan, but really radical and maybe actually mentally ill.” Kimberly brust into Bela and Leighton’s room. 

“Okay, I could’ve told you she’s mentally ill. What does Lila think is in the container?” Leighton was lying in bed, glasses on while scrolling on her phone. 

“Apparently, Cat is into menstrual cooking…” That got Leighton’s full attention. 

“If it’s not that instead of bad cramps she’s overcome with the urge to cook-”

“She cooks with her menstrual blood, and the pouch she wanted me to hide under your bed is steps in a love spell. It’d work better if she had your hair, or blood but she had to deal with what she could. She also has friends who work in the dinning hall so you might not want to eat there until we handle this. I’m trying to find out who’s in her coven. But they might you know, sneak stuff in your food.” 

Leighton just nodded. She knew one person who apparently had a coven, but considering how her and Alicia ended she doubt that Ginger would be helpful. 

“Yeah, I’ll be avoiding the dining hall.” 

…

Bela went to the Women’s Center. She couldn’t think of a better Christmas gift for Leighton than getting Cat to leave her alone and it involved Alicia. 

Bela had explained everything that was happening to a friend and was making sure not to mention it was Leighton. 

“So, is that enough to get Cat the help she needs and for her to stop trying to trick my friend into eating her period blood?” 

Alicia didn’t seem too shocked by anything Bela explained, which did shock Bela. 

“She’s in Ginger’s coven so I’ll ask her to get Cat to use her powers for good. Tell Leighton not to worry, Cat’s mostly harmless, unless Leighton promised to adopt a cat with her or something.” 

“Leighton? I didn’t say it was Leighton, why would Leighton promise to adopt a cat with someone?” 

“It’s fine Bela. I know about Leighton’s coming out tour. She’s slept with 3 of my exes and 5 of my friends. I take it she finally told you that we dated?” 

“Yeah…she didn’t mean to, she was drunk, barely awake and I suggested she should go out with you and she said and I quote ‘ I wanna but I fucked it up ‘cause I’m fucked up and now she hates me ’ but trying to get any details about anything she’s doing is like pulling teeth. We share a room and she won’t even tell me why I’m locked out when she locks me out. We had to do an update because we were saying hi to women that she did not want us speaking to ever again.” 

Alicia rolled her eyes at that. 

“Tell Leighton the best way to handle the Cat problem is just to be her old Dumb Cis Bitch self. She’ll know what it means.” 

“Okay. I mean she’s already pretty much a bitch all the time anyways.”

…

“So that’s what Alicia said you should do.” Bela explained to Leighton in front of Whitney and Kimberly. 

“I make it a point to tell you as little as possible about my current hook up situation, and you went to my ex, my only ex on campus-”

“Wait, you had another girlfriend before Alicia? Who was she? What was she like?” Kimberly rushed in to get her question answered. 

“Not discussing this! Bela, I can’t believe you went to Alicia.”

“You’ve said before that the only person besides Cat that you know has a coven is Ginger, so I went to talk to Ginger, but she wasn’t around but Alicia was so-”

Leighton was trying not to let her anxiousness show. “And she thinks if I just be myself I’ll be such a bitch that Cat will stop obessing over me and want nothing to do with me?” 

“Well, she said specifically, Your Dumb Cis Bitch Self and that you’d know what that means. So Leighton, what does that mean?” 

If Leighton was more open about her love life, she would explain how she was a bitch before Alicia helped her to be a better person, how Dumb Cis Bitch was the first insult Alicia used at her. She’d explain how even though Alicia dumped her months ago, the thought of her still made her heart ache. 

“Leighton?” 

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter. I’ll just ignore Cat, she’ll obsess over someone else eventually.” 

“Why not just do what Alicia says?”

“No! If I do that she wins and she does not get to win!” 

“I mean, you got the clap, I think she already won.” Bela pointed out. “Just, take her advice. Listen to her. She’s smart.” 

“No, I can handle this!” Leighton pulled up her DMs with Cat and sent a new message. 

If you still wanna do something, I’m gonna go to a Young Republican fundraiser next week. We’re raising money for Pro-Life causes and Bringing Jesus back to schools. It’s something that is very important to me. I wanna tell you all about the summer I spent interning for the Trump campaign. Truly the greatest president. Him and Pence. 

Leighton could do this. Just pretend to be the her from high school she pretended to be turned up to one thousand. 

Cat ended up blocking her. 

Dumb Cis Bitch 1. Psycho Lesbians 0. 

Chapter Text

Alicia took a sip of her wine and rolled her eyes at the sight before her. After hearing about a Hunger Games Simulator, Leighton and her friends decided they need to fill it with people from Essex and see who would survive. 

They had the computer connected to the large TV in the living room, Alicia had Leighton’s head in her lap and the blonde’s friends were gathered around the ridiculously large couch. 

“Why can’t we name 24 people between us?” Bela asked concerned. 

“Because so many people don’t matter.” Leighton couldn’t think of many people outside the current room that mattered. 

“I’m adding Tatum.” Whitney typed the name in. 

“Why?” Leighton truly hated her friends at times.

“Because I think it would be cool to see if she kills you, or you kill her.”

“Then I’m putting in your sad townie coach.” Leighton was fine cutting a bitch down after they drew first blood. 

“Do I have to be in it?” Alicia questioned once again. 

“Yes.” Leighton was not going to have to come up with a whole other person to replace Alicia. 

“Okay, I’m adding in Coach Woods because I’m hoping she kills Dalton.” 

“Let’s go bitches!” Bela cheered, spilling her drink a bit as she hit proceed. 

“The Bloodbath.” Leighton read first. “Leighton runs away from the Cornucopia…rude.” 

“Dalton runs away. Taylor runs away. Jocelyn runs away, Carla runs away, Ginger runs away, Willow runs away.” Kimberly read them out. 

“Tova finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver. I can see that for them.” Leighton laughed as she read. “They would be into archery.” 

“Alicia runs away. That is the smart move. Good on fake me.” Alicia had to admit she’d run and hide. 

“Kimberly scares Coach Woods away from the cornucopia…” Kimberly read. “Why would I do that?”

“Lila grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia. Yes she does, that’s a slay.” Bela nodded. 

“Tatum runs away. Trish runs away. Evangeline finds a bow, arrows and a quiver. Okay more archery.” 

“Andrew runs away. No way, he’d pass out from the start.” Whitney laughed. “Oh but look Whitney runs away, yes she does because I am fast.” 

“Kate runs away. Canaan runs away, Eric runs away, Kacey runs away, Ash runs away, Bela runs away, and Nico grabs a shield.” Bela read. “So the only one of us who did anything was Kimberly.” 

“And it was just scaring someone.”

They hit proceed again. 

“Day 1.” Leighton read. “Evangeline receives fresh good from an unknown sponsor. Kacey fishes. Ash attacks Tatum, damn! But Tatum manages to escape. Willow begs for Carla to kill her. She refuses, keeping Willow alive. So Willow gave up instantly.” Leight laughed. “Alicia diverts Tova’s attention and runs away. Aww, Tova tried to kill you. Jocelyn fishes. Taylor recieves fresh food from an unknown sponsor. Whitney stalked Canann, truth.” 

“I did not stalk him!” 

“You did it says so right there.” Bela pointed at the screen. “Ha! Nico sprains his ankle while running away from Coach Woods.” 

“Kimberly, Trish, Eric, Lila and Leighton hunt for other tributes. Aww Leighton we’re working together.” 

“I think we can all agree, Trish and Eric are there for bait and pawns.” Leighton argued. “Dalton receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor, see everyone wants him gone.” 

“I think they mean an explosive to set a trap, not to like explode him.”

“Damn it!” Bela groaned. “This is ridiculous, I’m pricked by thorns while picking berries? Really? Andrew explores the arena. Checking it out for science nerd stuff.”

“Kate thinks about home and Ginger questions her sanity. Even fictional Ginger is having a hard time. Fallen Tributes for Day 1. No one.” 

“Night. Whitney and Coach Woods run into each other and truce for the night. Bela screams for help. Nico screams for help. Kimberly gets a hatchet. Carla, Dalton and Eric sleep in shifts. Everyone else sleeps or passes out from exhaustion.” Whitney read out. 

“Day 2. Oh my god we have death! Finally! Alicia goes hunting. Ash forces Dalton to kill Carla or Lila, he refuses to kill, so Ash kills him instead. First death is Dalton!” Bela reads. 

“Woo!”

Alicia rolled her eyes at the cheering from the group. 

“I make a wooden spear. Whitney discovers a river. Nico searches for a water source. Tatum looks for firewood. Kacey, Evangeline, Jocelyn and Kate raid Ginger’s camp while she’s hunting.” Bela continued.

“And this is why Ginger is a vegan.” 

“Willow and Eric work together for the day. Odd pairing but I could see it working.” Bela nodded along. “Tova receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor. Oh no, sorry Whit. Canaan dies from hunger. On day 2. Boy did not eat before joining. Kimberly steals from Taylor while she isn’t looking. Harsh. Leighton sprains her ankle while running away from Andrew.”

“Thanks Whit, your shitty science boy hook up tried to kill me.” 

“Why do you and your brother have such weak ankles?” 

“Look, the Murray bloodline is not meant for physical labor okay? For generations we’ve survived with our mind and connections.” 

“So you admitting your family had slaves?”

“Oh I am certain at some point yes, but it’s not like I had a say in that and I hope that they had slow terrible deaths.” Leighton admitted. 

“Trish searches for firewood. Coach Woods dies trying to escape the arena.” Whitney decided to change the topic from the cheery topic they found themselves at. 

“Oh fuck! Arena event! A monstrous hurricane wreaks havoc on the arena. Andrew pushes Alicia into an incoming boulder. What the fuck are you dead? Does that mean you’re dead?” Leighton looked to Alicia for answers. “Lila pushes Kate into an incoming boulder. Evangeline is incapacitated by flying debris and dies. Maybe boulders don’t kill you, it didn’t say and dies. Tova tries to save Kacey, but both are sucked into the hurricane. Ash pushes Lieghton into an incoming boulder.”

“Ash is really bloodthirsty. I do like the there can be only one reigning lesbian of Essex.” Bela laughed. 

“Willow pushes Eric into an incoming boulder. So much for that truce. Ginger stabs Whitney, then pushes her close enough to the hurricane to get sucked in.”

“So Ginger fully snapped. Carla, Taylor, Bela, Trish, Tatum, Jocelyn, Nico and Kimberly survive. So are we dead then? If we didn’t survive?” Leighton looked around at her friends for answers. 

Bela hit the next button and read out in her most serious voice. 

“Fallen Tributes. 11 cannon shots can be heard in the distance. Dalton, District 6. Canaan, District 4. Coach Woods, District 6. Alicia, District 3. Kate, District 11, Evangeline, District 7. Tova, District 10. Kacey, District 12. Leighton, District 1. Eric, District 8 and Whitney, District 2.  So far Lila has 1 kill, Willow has 1 kill, Andrew has 1 kill, Ginger has 1 kill, and Ash has 2 kills.” 

“I can’t believe I died. I can’t believe we both were murdered the same way!” Leighton looked to see if Alicia was as offended as she was. 

“I’m dead too!” Whitney argued. 

“Yeah but you didn’t just hit your head on a boulder.” Leighton was full-on pouting now. Alicia gave her arm a little squeeze before pouring another drink for Leighton to help ease the news of her death. 

“Night 2.” Kimberly read, shocked, she was still alive. “Trish climbs a tree to rest. Willow tries to treat her infection. Lila thinks about all the dicks she’s never fucked. Tatum quietly hums like a serial killer. Bela tries to treat her infection. Jocelyn sets an explosive off, killing Kimberly and Carla. Oh…I’m dead.” 

“But look Nico throws a knife in Andrew’s chest. Yeah he does. Getting revenge for my girlfriend!” Leighton sounded so proud that Alicia couldn’t help but find it adorable. “Now kill that bitch Ash and avenge me!”

“Ginger let’s Taylor into her shelter, okay so Ash is killing Ginger next. Ash receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.” Bela joked. 

“Day 3.” Whitney starts it off. “Nico tries to sleep through the entire day.”

“Truth.” Leighton added. 

“Taylor stalks Ash.” 

“Truth.” Bela laughed. 

“Trish begs for Willow to kill her, she refuses keeping Trish alive. How is Trish out living me?” Whitney complained. “Tatum begs for Jocelyn to kill her. She refuses keeping Tatum alive. Lila receives clean water from an unknown sponsor, Ginger hunts for other tributes and Bela receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Fallen Tributes. 3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance. Kimberly, District 1. Carla, District 9. Andrew, District 9.” 

Alicia decided to read now. “Night 3. Ginger sees a fire, but stays hidden. Trish is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. Taylor receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Willow receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor. Lila, Tatum, Ash, and Bela tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood. Nico stabs Jocelyn with a tree branch.”

“I fear Nico as the only straight white guy, might win.” Bela pointed out. 

“He has killed 2 people.” 

Kimberly sat up straighter. “It’s time for The Feast. The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tribute's family. Only 4 people go. Bela throws a knife into Willow’s head. Taylor ambushes Ash and kills her.” 

“Day 4.” Whitney started. “Lila receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Bela discovers a river, Nico tries to find higher ground, Tatum thinks about home. Trish collects fruit from a tree, Taylor searches for a water source, and Ginger tries to sleep through the entire day. Fallen Tributes. 3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance. Jocelyn, District 5. Willow, District 5, and Ash, District 12. Only people alive who haven’t killed are Trish and Tatum.” 

“Nothing happens in the night. Bela picks flowers. Nico, Taylor, Tatum and Lila hunt for other tributes. Ginger receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Trish dies trying to escape the arena. One cannon shot can be heard in the distance, Trish, District 8. Now Tatum is the only one still alive who hasn’t killed.”

Leighton started to read Night 5. “Lila is awoken by nightmares. Ginger quietly hums for sanity. Bela is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. Oh fuck come on! Taylor throws a knife into Nico’s head, and Tatum sings herself to sleep. This is bullshit!”

Bela laughed as the only one in the room still in the game. “Lila tends to Tatum’s wounds. Going after that sugar mama. Taylor questions her sanity, only now after killing so many. Bela makes a slingshot. Yes I do, getting my Bart Simpson on. Ginger picks flowers. One cannon shot can be heard in the distance, Nico, District 3. Night 6. Bela lets Taylor into her shelter. Yes, that checks.”

Alicia hit the button next. “Day 7. Taylor, Lila and Ginger hunt for other tributes. Tatum serverly injures Bela and leaves her to die.” 

“I knew Tatum was a bitch!” Bela aruged. “One cannon shot is heard in the distance. Bela, District 2.”

“So we do we want to win now?” 

“Between Lila, Tatum, Ginger and Taylor? I’m going with Lila.” 

“Yeah let’s go Lila.” 

Whitney hit the button. 

“Taylor and Tatum threaten a double suicide-”

“Such a fucking lesbian thing to do.” Leighton laughed. 

“It really fucking is.” Alicia laughed. 

“It fails and they die.” Whitney finished. 

“Oh fuck we’re down to two.” 

“Ginger stabs Lila while her back is turned.” 

“Called it! Ginger snapped. She is terrifying when she snaps.” Leighton pointed out leaning back into Alicia’s arm. “Sorry we died.” 

“It’s okay, at least we went out in the same stupid way.”

Chapter Text

  Leighton was regretting agreeing to this. Well agreeing was not really what she’d call it, but either way she was trapped on the couch, with Whitney and Kimberly as Bela forced them to watch one of the greatest comedy shows currently on air . 

“Isn’t this the show that caused a bunch of white boys to storm McDonald’s and cause like not riots, but-” Whitney asked. 

“It is.” 

“Can we at least get drunk while we watch?” Leighton really needed something to make this tolerable. 

“Sure, we can start drinking around season 4.” 

“How many seasons are there again?” 

“6. And we’re going not leaving the couch until it’s done.” Bela grinned. 

They were on season 2 now. Twenty more episodes and they can start drinking. 

“There is a guest star from this episode that should sound familiar; he’s known for his comedy skills.” 

About nine minutes into the show, Leighton texted Alicia. 

Leighton: Come save me. Being forced to binge Rick and Morty. 

Alicia: And how can I do that? 

Leighton: I’m going to say you’re demanding I go to something at the Women’s Center, and when I don’t go, you come get me because you’re sick of me trying to make my own schedule. 

Alicia: And what do you have in mind for us to do after I save you? 

Leighton: I’ll have to show you how much I appreciate you saving me. 

Alicia: Okay, be there in ten.  

“So, not to break up this super fun time, but I forgot about this event for trans kittens that the Women’s Center is doing.” 

“There’s an event for trans kittens? How do they know if the cat is trans?” 

“Or something like that, I don’t know. I didn’t really pay attention when they told me.”

“Well, too bad, we’re only on season 2. Tell them you're sick.” 

“Okay, but she might not believe me, I have used that excuse a lot.” 

“Why would you try to get out of hours, when the whole point is you need to do a set amount to be free?” Kimberly questioned. 

“Because some of the stuff they want me to do is ridiculous and if I go, I’d have to kill myself.” 

“Okay, you’re all talking over the show, I will make us restart this episode!” Bela argued. 

The next episode just started when there was a loud pounding at the door. 

“Leighton! Get out here now!” Alicia yelled. 

Leighton rolled her eyes and looked around over at her roommates. “See, such a hard ass.” 

“Murray I will invalidate all your hours so far if you don't get out here right now! I know you're not sick if you're going to fake it don't do it in front of windows on the ground floor!” Alicia yelled out. 

Leighton rolled her eyes making fa show of how annoyed she was as she looked at Bela. “Can I go now?” 

“Fine you're allowed to leave but I get to borrow any clothes I want.”

“You already take my clothes now…” Leighton rolled her eyes opening the door to a very angry looking Alicia. 

Soon as the door opened Alicia roughly grabbed Leighton's arm. 

“Let's go. I know you think everything we do is a joke but it actually matters.” Alicia started pulling Leighton after her. 

Bela got up and shut the door behind her. 

“Man that girl is intense. Poor Leighton.”

…

As soon as they were in privacy Leighton pulled Alicia in for a kiss. 

“That was so hot.” Leighton husked out as she let her hands roam Alicia’s body. “You really sold it like you were done with my shit.”
 

“Oh, when it comes to you lying to get out of events, I am done with your shit. Like with the horses.”

“Hey, my BIPOC roommate was in crisis.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“Hey, she was! Whitney needed my help. You’re the one who keeps telling me to try and think about the feelings of other people, but when I do it you don’t believe me.” Leighton pouted. 

“You’re right. If you didn’t care about people’s feelings you wouldn’t have made up that whole fake story to get out of watching a show with your roommates, you would’ve just walked out.” Alicia unlocked her apartment door and pushed the door open. “After you.” 

Lieghton smiled undoing her shirt as she crossed the threshold. “I believe some appreciation is due.” 

“I should send Bela a thank you gift.” Alicia joked catching the pants that Leighton threw at her. “Fuck I love your body.” Alicia breathed out taking in the sight before her. 

“Are you objectifying me?” Leighton teased raising an eyebrow. 

“Is it objectification or just simply admiration?” Alicia challenged. 

Leighton answered by grabbing Alicia by her belt loop. 

“How about you think on that, while I do my favorite thing?” Leighton was already on her knees and undoing Alicia’s pants. 

Alicia had, had girlfriends before Leighton, she had casual hooks up, but no one, no one could compete with the skill and pure talent, that Leighton Murray had when it came to giving standing head. It rivalled Leighton’s talent and skill at insults that found the small insecurities that cut you to your core.

Later, Alicia was on the bed with Leighton lying with her head on her stomach. 

“That was…fuck. I think I might be on the verge of dying of dehydration.” Alicia joked, one hand wrapped up in Leighton’s hair, using it to pull her up so she could kiss her.

“Worth breaking me out of hell?” Leighton smirked as she bit Alicia’s lip. 

“So worth it. I’d agree to like anything, my mind is still so blown.” 

“Like filling out the form and saying that I have done my hours?” 

Alicia booped Leighton’s nose. “So cute for trying. But no. Not happening. Can’t have you going around getting drunk and vandalizing statues all over campus.” 

“It was like the tip of a finger. If a bottle of alcohol can do that, that statue is weak as fuck.” 

“You never did tell me why you felt the need to get drunk and throw the bottle at the statue.” 

Leighton started to look anywhere but at Alicia. Trying to figure out if she should tell Alicia the full story. 

“You know how, when we came back here, from the Thetalymphics, and I told you to save the speech because it wasn’t my first-”

“Yeah.”

“So, aside from like two cases, they were mostly suburbian moms, or older women like that. To make sure that no one could be traced back to me…but I fucked up.”

“Oh God, did you fuck someone’s mom? Like someone you know?” 

“No. No I didn’t, they weren’t that old. But she spotted the Essex keychain…and I got weird, I mean it was already pretty fucking weird thanks to the car seat that kept digging into me-”

“Jesus, you fucked in a car? Leight, have some self respect.”

“Hey! I have plenty of self respect. So I started insulting everything about her, ran into Nico and his friends, he told them all my business so they could pity me and later while drunk and yelling at John Essex because his school fucking sucked and was ruining my perfect life, she called me. Because she was worried about me, and to it gets better me so I completely lost it. Screamed about how much I am thriving and threw the bottle at the statue.” 

“And just for like my peace of mind, have you talked to your therapist about any of this?” 

“I’ve had the same therapist since I was ten so of course not. I’m not convinced they don’t share the session notes with my parents.”

“What was her name?” 

“I don’t know why?”

“I just feel like I should send her a thank you card. If she didn’t call you, we wouldn’t have met and I wouldn’t have this awesome girlfriend that begs me to pretend to be mad at her to get her out of bonding time with her friends.” 

“Okay, I did not beg. I do not beg.” 

“So last night what would you call what you did?” 

“That was not begging, that was deal making.”

“Deal making? You offered me nothing, just lots of pleads, begging, and prayers.” Alicia teased, moving swiftly to pin Leighton under her. “Now, what was that about not begging?” 

Leighton tried to move her hips to get some kind of friction only for Alicia to tisk her. 

“That’s not begging.” 

Leighton huffed and gave up. “You’re so fucking bossy.” 

“I’m bossy? You bought a chair for the center.” 

“That’s not being bossy, that’s being snobbish, or pretentious, maybe-”

“Being a dumb cis bitch?” Alicia teased, leaning down to kiss Leighton. 

Leighton couldn’t stop herself from grinning into the kiss, her hips shifting to try and get relief. 

Alicia attempted to pull back but Leighton had decided to bite onto Alicia’s bottom lip. 

“Oh you’re in for it now Murray.”

…

Alicia rolled her eyes as she stared into the mirror at the new hickies on her neck. 

“Really? Did you have to attack my neck?” 

“Honestly? I have no memory of doing those.” 

Alicia looked down at the ones on her chest. “And these?”

“I do remember those and I will do them again, it was fun.” Leighton explained with a grin on her face. “From the sounds of it, you were enjoying it too.” 

“I’m not complaining, just wish they weren’t so prominent.” Alicia didn’t want to have to go through more foundation now to hide them. 

“Sorry, next time I’ll keep it where it’ll be covered. You’re really good at that.” Leighton glanced down at her own chest and thighs covered in hickeys. 

Alicia just smiled at her handiwork. “Yeah that’s called self-restraint.” 

“I know all about self-restraint. Do you know how many times when you’re lecturing me at the center that I just want to shove you against the nearest wall and shut you up?” 

“Considering you get off on insults, humiliation and conflict my guess is all the time.”

“It is all the time because there is nothing hotter than someone judging me.” 

“That’s really unhealthy and should be unpacked in therapy.” 

“Hey, do you want to question my mental well being or do you want to take that pleather spiked belt that looks like you stole it off some aging rocker in a nursing home and see what kind of cool patterns you embed in my ass with it?” 

Alicia thought about it before she grabbed the belt. “I bought this for a Gaga concert.” 

“Of course you did.” Leighton rolled her eyes. 

…

When Leighton tried to sneak back into the dorm, she instead found herself interrupting the Rick and Morty marathon still going on. 

“You’re still going?” Leighton questioned shutting the door behind her. 

“She made us rewatch some episodes twice because we fell asleep.” Whitney explained with a yawn. 

“Is it the drinking seasons yet?”

“No, we’re not on season 4 yet because some people refuse to treat this with the respect it deserves.” Bela glared. 

“The respect it deserves? Bela we’re being held hostage!” Whitney complained before noticing that Kimberly was asleep again and nudging her awake. 

“Fine. I’ll order postmates I’m starving and I feel like Bela isn’t going to let me out of here to go to the dining hall.” 

“I won’t. But I will take some apps or an order from wherever you’re ordering from in exchange for 4 extra bathroom breaks.” 

“Done.” 

When Leighton sat down next to Whitney, she did her best to hide the wince as her sensitive, tender ass hit the cushion, but the other girl eyed her shoulder. 

“Is that a bite mark?” She reached out to touch it only to have her hand batted away. 

“No! It’s probably a mark from the shitty ‘ green ’ cleaning supplies at the center.” 

“But why would it be on your shoulder and not like your hands?” 

“How should I know I’m not a dermatologist Whitney!” Leighton argued, crossing her arms and moving to get away from the other girl’s suspicious eye.

“You’re hair’s different too.” Kimberly pointed out. “Like more mussed.” 

Whitney’s eyes widened as she realized what it was. She grabbed the blonde by the arm and pulled her into her room, ignoring Bela’s arguing. 

“You did not use volunteer hours to ditch us with Bela’s craziness so you could go hook up with some guy! How did you get Alicia to agree to it?” 

Leighton’s heart had never beaten so fast before. She was panicking and terrified and wanted the ground to swallow her up. 

“So who is he? Is it that Chad guy?” 

“No, it’s not Chad, that’s all the info you’re getting on him and Alicia can be bought. Well, slightly, I had to donate to some charity for disabled animals. Plus I had to do some stuff at the center first. She’s a hard ass.” 

“Yeah, she seems it. Maybe she needs to get laid?”

“I doubt that’d help.”

Chapter Text

Leighton pouted as she was pulled down on the couch. 

“This is bullshit. I didn’t agree to this.” 

“Poor Leighton suffering by playing charades.” Whitney teased. 

“When you asked me to come over I didn’t think this is what we would be doing.” Tatum complained. 

“I didn’t either!” Leighton wished she at least had a drink. 

Tatum took out a flask from her purse. 

“Potassium, Leight.”

“I’m not the one who barricaded the door.” Leighton pointed out. “Thanks for that Bela.”

“You agreed to hang out and I am making sure you stick to it.” Bela was fine with her choice. 

“We could just go to your room.” Tatum pointed out. 

“Oh, you think I won’t follow you or at the very least yell out questions through the door?” Bela had no boundaries when it came to sex and she was proud of that. 

“She will.” Leighton groaned. 

“Like for toys, is it an unwritten agreement that the top provides them or is it just anyone with them brings them?” 

“I’m not acknowledging your existence anymore.” Tatum informed Bela. 

“Fair.” 

Whitney raised an eyebrow as if questioning how anyone could think that was okay, but by the look of awe and admiration from Leighton at Tatum, clearly she thought telling someone that they’re no longer going to acknowledge you exists was a big positive. 

“We need to pair up. Whitney, you’re with Andrew, Kimberly, you’re with Jackson, Leighton, you’re with Tatum, and I’ll be a free agent who’s on everyone’s team.” 

“So, she has no friends outside of you guys?” Tatum whispered to Leighton who just shrugged in answer. 

“Now, everyone write down a bunch of things for us to guess.”

Leighton look a slip of paper and said out loud what she wrote. 

“Mass suicide.” 

“Leighton, you can’t say it out loud!” Bela complained. 

“Everyone knows if you say your wishes out loud they won’t come true.” Whitney teased. 

“Murder suicide.” Tatum annouced as she put her slip of paper in the bowl. 

“You two are such a great couple. So in sync.” Bela beamed at the blondes. 

“The answer is still no Bela. Not having a three-way with you.” Leighton rolled her eyes. 

Soon the bowl was full. 

Kimberly was stood in front of the group as she read the slip of paper. 

Whitney had the timer ready on her phone. 

“Okay. Start!” Bela called out. 

Kimberly held up two fingers. 

“Two words!” Jackson leaned forward in his seat. 

Kimberly folded her hands like a book.

“Book.”

Kimberly held up two fingers again. 

“Second word.” Bela called out. 

Kimberly pointed up. 

“Sky?”

“Ceiling?”

“Point? Break Point?”

Kimberly laid her hand on top of her head, then lifted it a bit higher, then moved it down to her waist. 

“Size?”

“Height!” 

Kimberly nodded and held up one finger. 

“First word!” 

Kimberly started to shimmy.

“Shake?”

“Shiver?”

She started to do a weird body roll as she shimmed.

“Seizer?”

“Spasm?”

“Magic Mike’s Worst nightmare?” Bela guessed. 

“Electrocuted?”

“Possessed?”

The timer went off. 

“What was it?” Bela asked. 

“Wuthering Heights.” Kimberly explained. “I was trying to do Wuthering.” 

“Oh. That’s tricky.” Jackson tried to cheer her up. 

“Tatum! Your turn.” Bela stared at the older blonde. After a long pause Whitney nudged her. 

“Tatum, your turn.”

“Fine.” Tatum got up and took a slip from the bowl. 

Kimberly set the timer.

“And start!”

Tatum held up two fingers. 

“Two words.” 

Tatum mimicked touching something and pulling her hand back quickly shaking her hand. 

“Burn.”

Tatum did the motion for book.

“Burn Book?”

Tatum did the sign for movie. 

“Movie…Burn Book. Mean Girls!” Leighton yelled out. “Next one!” 

Tatum grabbed another slip. 

She held up one finger. 

“One word.”

Tatum did the signal for book.

“Book.”

Tatum held up her fingers and mimicked scissors. 

“Scissors?”

“Scissoring! Sex! Lesbian sex! Orgasms! Friction burns!” Bela shouted out. 

Tatum held up her arm and mimicked cutting herself. 

“Suicide?”

Tatum shook her head and with one finger drew a line across her arm. Then held up her hand and did a no waggle before dragging it down the long way and going back to multiple times across. 

“Oh! Across the street for attention, down the road for results! Self harm! Cutting! Cut!” Leighton yelled out her thought process and Tatum nodded. 

She had just picked up the third when the timer went off. 

‘What book is called Cut?”

“It’s by Patricia McCormick and follows a teen girl in a rehab for self harm. It’s a good read.” Leighton explained. “Had to read it in middle school.” 

“Did all of your prompts have to do with self harm Leighton?” 

“No. Some had to do with murder.” 

Whitney got up for her turn.

Soon the timer was set and she started her turn.

She did the sign for movie. 

“Film.” 

She nodded and held up five fingers. 

Then 2 fingers. 

She pointed to herself. 

“Chest.” 

“Tits.”

“Black?” Andrew guessed and got the middle finger in response. Whitney pointed to Leighton then back to her, then to Kimberly, then back to her.

“Groups? Roommates? Females?”

“Oh! Girls!” 

Whitney nodded at Bela and made a squeezing motion with her two hands. 

“Girl!” 

Whitney held up five fingers. 

“Fifth word!” 

Whitney started to move like one would for a train. When that didn’t do anything she pretended to pull on a chain for the train whistle. 

“Dance?”

“Disco?”

“White people dance?”

“Wedding dance?”

“Sarah Paulson!” 

“Girls just want to have fun?”

Whitney kept doing her train dance thankfully something finally clicked and Bela called out.

“Train!” 

“Something girl something something train.” 

“The girl on the train!” Bela called out. “Yes Emily Blunt!” Bela had just made the buzzer. 

“Well, that was fine now if you don’t unblock the door, I will go out the window and send you the bill for my dry cleaning.” Tatum warned. 

“Yeah, we played. That should be enough.” 

“You didn’t just play, you won.” Kimberly pointed out. 

“Yeah, I’m awesome.” Leighton shrugged. “Now, I feel like I more than held up my end of the agreement.” 

Bela sighed and did unblock the door. 

“Now, let’s go to my place where we don’t have to be held hostage.” Tatum stood up and held her hand out for Leighton to take. 

“Happily. Don’t wait up!” 

…

Leighton sat down with her tray of breakfast next to her roommates. 

“We’re never doing that again. I don’t care what you threaten, count us out of your weird couples game nights.” 

“Why do you care, you ended up getting laid.”

“Tatum already thinks she’s cooler than me-”

“Because she is. She’s cooler and nicer and just more chill.” Whitney explained. 

“I don’t know about nicer, I feel like she’d step over an unhoused person in the street, but I think Leighton would just cross the street to avoid them or just ignore them.”

“I do ignore them.” Leighton pointed out. 

“Plus Tatum is a proven winner. She’s undefeated for two years in a row.” Whitney knew her stats. 

“I’m undefeated too.”

“Just because you haven’t played in years, isn’t the same as being undefeated.”

“I played against Willow not long ago.”

“And she let you win to impress Tatum and that didn’t even work.” 

“Just, shut up.” 

“Is that a bite mark on the back of your neck?” Kimberly asked moving to touch said mark that was barely visible through Leighton’s ponytail. 

“Just count me out of any more game nights!” Leighton swatted away Kimberly’s hand. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get a better look tonight when she changes.” Bela reassured her. 

“Bela I’ve asked you to stop watching me change!” 

“And I keep telling you, why have a masterpiece if you’re not going to let people admire it?”

“So, how progressive was your school to have you study a book about self harm?” Kimberly asked to change the subject.

Chapter Text

Whitney was having a hard time stifling her laughter. 

“This is such bullshit!” Leighton was already on her feet, pacing and showing her anger. 

“But am I wrong?” Bela smirked. “Alicia, you can confirm or deny.” 

“Tell her she’s fucking wrong!” Leighton yelled at Alicia. 

Alicia just held her hands up. “Keep me out of this. I’m not getting involved.” 

“Just fucking tell them! I’m not a bottom!” 

“Leight, there is nothing wrong with being a bottom. I’m not, I’m a top, unless my back hurts. It’s not like you’re a pillow princess.” Bela’s eyes widen. “Wait? Are you a pillow princess?” 

“Alicia, are you not going to defend me? Or yourself? Bela just called you a service top!” 

“Other people’s thoughts on my sex life don’t bother me because it’s just assumptions. The only opinion beside mine that matters in bed is yours, Leight.” 

“This is ridiculous! Why are you so obsessed with my sex life?” 

“Because you’re hot, and so secretive about it.” Bela answered plainly. 

“That make sense.” Whitney conceded. “I mean think about it, out of all of us, who is the most open about their sex life?” 

“Bela.” Everyone in the room responded. 

“And who’s sex life do we not want to know anything about?” 

“Bela.” 

“Man, seriously? Even after I started dating Haley?” 

“You called me and left a message about all the different sex positions you tried. I played it for my therapist, she offered me a free session. That’s how fucked up that was Bela. You made a therapist give a free session.” 

“You sent me picture you took during.” Whitney pointed out. 

“Please tell me that Haley knew you did that beforehand?” 

“She did.” Bela reassured them. 

“Hey! I am not done! I’ve been greatly insulted!” Leighton demanded the focus back on her. 

“She said you’re a bottom, it’s not an insult. It’s just a position. She pointed out that you’re submissive in bed.” Whitney pointed out. 

“Being a bottom doesn’t mean you’re submissive.” Alicia pointed out. “Just for the record. You can be a power bottom, or even bottom from the top. You can be a top and submissive, or a bottom and dominant, or a verse and a switch.”

“What’s the difference between a verse and a switch?” Kimberly asked looking completely confused. 

“Verse is someone who goes from top and bottom and switch is someone who goes from dom to sub.” Bela explained. 

“And when people talk about a pitcher or catcher…”

“That’s for queer men Kimberly. It’s just who gets fucked in the ass and who fucks the ass.” Bela explained. “Though I guess it could mean who wears the strap on for women…” Bela eyed Leighton and Alicia. “I find it hard to picture Leighton with a strap on, on.”

“Stop picturing me in any sexual manner! Or thinking about me in any sexual way!” 

“You’re asking the impossible Leighton. You’re basically the human embodiment of a sex goddess. Like Aphrodite. Or Helen of Troy. Your body could cause a war.”

“I am really fucking hot.” Leighton smiled whistfully as if picturing people worshipping her. 

“I say how much I love your body and you roll your eyes at me, she says it and suddenly your ego grows?” Alicia pointed out the difference.

“You love my body, because you love me as a person.” Leighton pointed out. “My sparkling personality won you over first.” 

Alicia let out a loud laugh. “Yeah, such a great personality on first meeting babe.” 

“Oh fuck off, you were a bitch too.” Leighton fell down on the couch laughing with Alicia. 

“I was. We’re so unlikeable.” Alicia agreed as Leighton wrapped her arms around Alicia and kissed her. 

“That’s ‘cause bitches get shit done.” 

“See, bottom energy.” Bela pointed out. Whitney just rolled her eyes as this got Leighton back up and yelling. 

“So close to having this end.” 

Alicia sighed. Whitney ended up joining Alicia on the couch and leaned in close to whisper. 

“She’s a bottom, that’s why she’s getting so mad. Because Bela’s right. If she wasn’t then Leighton wouldn’t give a shit.” 

“No comment.” Alicia knew what to say. 

“It’s fine. My mom’s a senator, remember, I know what no comment means.”

“Bela, I don’t care if it’ll ruin my nails, say that again and I’ll fucking kill you with my bare hands!” 

“Yeah, Bela’s right. She clocked something that Leighton didn’t want people to know and now she’s on a warpath.” 

“That is her go to, if it was true, which I am not confirming or denying.” Alicia watched as Leighton threatened to break the door down after Bela locked herself in. “She also threatened to buy a cafe because they were out of vanilla, and when the barista didn’t care, she threatened to buy his parent’s house and evict them. Nothing scarier than a pissed off entitled rich white woman.” 

“Hear that.” 

 “Wait, is top and bottom just a gay thing? Should I be keeping track of how many times I’m on top?” Kimberly asked looking completely lost. 

“You really don’t need to worry about it.” Whitney reassured her.

Chapter Text

For Bela’s 30th birthday, per her requests, Leighton had arranged for them all to party in Manhattan. It started with a limo to the Plaza hotel where a suite was waiting for them. They would pre-game in the suite before taking another limo (Leighton tried to explain that limos aren’t the classiest, but there was no talking to Bela) to a high-end strip club. 

The strip club was the one thing that Bela said would happen no matter what and Leighton finally took charge because she feared Bela might pick a strip club where the chairs alone would give you herpes. 

“Are the strippers gonna be the hottest?” Bela asked between drinks. 

“I guess. I don’t know.” Leighton shrugged.

“Well, how were they the last time you went?” 

“Bela, I love that you’re so open and free with everything remotely sexual. But I’m not like that. I haven’t been to a strip club, and I still have no desire to go to one.” Leighton sighed trying to explain it.

“Well, if you had let me plan your bachelorette, you would’ve gone to like 20.” 

“And that is why I was in charge of planning it.” Whitney joked. “Is your going to a strip club, going to cause issues with Alicia?”

“It’s fine. She doesn’t love the idea of having to watch Ivy on her own all weekend, but she knows that Bela’s birthday is important and she wants to make sure she has a great weekend that doesn’t end in everyone getting herpes from a poorly picked strip club.” 

“So lame that you’re all boring and responsible now. I remember when you were getting questioned by the FBI for being involved in wire fraud.” 

“Because my mom’s charity was being investigated. I was only questioned because, technically, I was on the board. I haven’t been questioned by the FBI for anything I’ve done. Only threatened to be by the SEC.” 

“Wait, SEC, Leighton Murray are you insider trading?” Bela pretended to look scandalized. 

“Of course I am. There is a version of Insider trading that is legal. Well, a few ways actually, like even though Congress passes bills that change the market all the time, they’re allowed to trade based on it, so if say, you donate to certain campaigns, not only will they vote your way, but if something might be about to fuck your shit up, they’ll give you a heads up to start selling. Whitney knows what I’m talking about.” 

“I can’t believe you’re working hand in hand with let’s face it, Republican assholes to get richer while your wife is trying to save the world.” Bela joked. 

“Well, Non-Profits don’t pay her what she’s worth and Spence is not going to pay for itself, Ivy is already accepted for their PreK program.” 

“She’s five months old, Leighton. She does not need to be accepted to a PreK yet.” Kimberly pointed out.

“Oh, please, I applied for that spot as soon as we started trying. It’s all just formality of course, I went there, my mom went there, both my grandmothers. Ivy is just continuing the family tradition.”

“Hey, so long as you remember to introduce me to your neighbor in St. Barts, Lorne Michaels. You fuck up my goddaughter all you want.” Bela wanted her dream job. 

“He’s not like a neighbor, neighbor, we just go to the same club, and live in the same gated community.” 

“Don’t you share a fence?” 

“We do.” Leighton groaned. “But still. We don’t know each other.” 

“What time is our dinner reservation for?” Kimberly asked. 

“Eight.”

“Okay, so we have another two hours before then. Should we just get started on the pre-gaming already?” Bela asked looking around for votes when there was a knock on the suite door. 

“Nope. I got something already planned.” Leighton grinned as she opened the door and in walked four Asain women and two possible Swiss or Norse men carrying massage tables. “Massages and mani pedis.” 

“Yes! Give me that rich white treatment!” Bela grinned. 

Leighton was in the middle of her massage when her phone started to ring. 

She saw the picture of Alicia flash on the screen. As soon as she answered the phone all she could hear was Ivy screeching. 

“She’s having a hard time going to bed huh?” 

“She wants you. She reaches out to any photo of you.” Alicia sounded so exhausted. Leighton was only gone for two hours at this point. “Why doesn’t our daughter like me?”

“She loves you. She’s just fussy and used to a routine that we’ve never missed a night of since she was born. Both of us putting her to bed at night. I’ll come home and we can both her down.” 

“I didn’t call you to tell you to come home.” 

“I know. But I am literally a 10 minute drive away from home. It’s nothing. I’ll come home, help you put Ivy to bed, and come back here.”

“Don’t you have a lot of things planned?”

“I don’t care about missing a massage or a mani and pedi for you and Ivy. You’re more important. Hell I’ll tell Bela to get fucked and just spend the rest of this weekend home with you and Ivy.” 

“You’re not blowing off Bela’s birthday weekend. But fine, come home for bedtime.” 

Leighton shooed away the masseuse and got off the table. 

After getting redressed, she was back in the main room of the suite where Bela and Kimberly were getting mani-pedis. 

“I need to head out for a bit. Ivy is not handling the change of me missing bedtime well, so I’m going to put her to bed.” 

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Kimberly went to get up only to be reminded of her limbs being held by two women. 

“It’s only like twenty minutes in drive time and getting Ivy to settle and go to sleep’ll only be twenty at most. So I’ll be back before it’s time for dinner.” 

“Sounds fine with me. Go take care of the little princess.” 

“Thanks.” 

…

As soon as Leighton got to their townhouse on East 75th street, perfectly between 5th and Maddison and just down the road from central park, she called out. 

“I’m home!” Leighton rushed up the four flights of stairs until she got to the nursery where Ivy was in an adorable Versace footie onesie. “Come here Ivy.” Leighton happily accepted the infant who was reaching out for her. She buried her face instantly into Leighton’s neck, clinging tightly to her. “Oh, it’s okay. Come on, let’s read your story.” Leighton sat down on the small loveseat in the room next to Alicia making sure that Ivy was between them as Alicia picked up the nearest book. 

“Let’s see what Peter Rabbit is up to.” Alicia rubbed Ivy’s back with one hand and held open the book with the other. 

Just like always, before the book was done, Ivy was fast asleep, lazily sucking on her pacifier. 

Leighton laid down carefully in the crib and pressed a kiss to her forehead before backing up for Alicia to be able to do the same. 

“See, she just needs us both.” 

“Which means we’re fucked if we ever have to be out of town for work.” Alicia pointed out. 

“I can always work remotely and we’ll just follow you if you need to go.” Leighton shrugged. “Okay. I gotta get back to the girls.” Leighton gave Alicia a quick kiss. “Love you!” 

…

Leighton looked at the word that Bela had written on her nails. 

“Who’s Ivy?” Leighton looked up at Bela. “Some new girl you’re chatting with?”

“No! Your daughter. Ivy. My goddaughter.”

“You’re not her godmother, you don’t even know her name. It’s not Ivy, like the weed. It’s Ivy as in short for Isami Violet.” Leighton rolled her eyes. 

“Literally the first time you ever mentioned this!” Whitney pointed out. “Look, the text you sent us literally says Ivy, as in I-v-y.” 

“Yeah, so? We’re going to have her use that instead of just the letters I and V because she’s not a medical thing.” 

“Then what’s the issue?” Bela was so confused. 

“So why didn’t you just name her Ivy?” 

“Because Alicia wanted to name her after her grandmother and my side of the family is racially ignorant at best. Look, it’s a lot of pressure from all sides when you have a kid. Let’s just go have dinner before we get so drunk we hopefully have no memory of the strip club.”  

…

“So I know their whole job is to pretend to like you, but I really think there was sparks between Candi and I.” Bela half yelled over the loud music as she rejoined her friends at the table after having finished her private dance in the VIP room. 

“Doesn’t matter she’s working.” Leighton pointed out.

“It’s true, nothing worst than customers hitting on you and you don’t have anywhere to go and hide.” Kimberly pointed out. 

“I wasn’t gonna hit on her.” Bela groaned. “But speaking of, I need more money Leighton.” 

Leighton rolled her eyes and handed over another stack of bills to Bela. 

Bela went to talk to another dance only to come back rejected. 

“Leighton, come with me. Jerri and Ginger won’t give me a couple dance unless I have my SO with me. Come pretend to be my wife.” 

“I don’t want a lap dance, let alone a couple one. Get Kimberly to pretend to be your girlfriend.” 

“Fine, but I need your wedding and engagement rings.” 

“No.”

…

Bela was passed out on the floor of the main room of the suite. Kimberly was asleep in one of the bathtubs, and Whitney and Leighton were trying to get Bela to a bed. 

“This is the last wild party we have. I’m missing Dateline with Alicia for this.” Leighton huffed. 

“Tell me about it, there is a symposium I could be attending.” Whitney groaned. “How the hell are these two still going wild?” 

“Because they don’t have responsibilities. Bela spends all her nights at open mic nights at bars and Kimberly can barely keep a job or a personality that doesn’t resolve around some hot guy.” 

“Would it be terrible to gift Kimberly therapy sessions for her birthday?” 

“I mean, it’s what I gave Bela.” Leighton shrugged. “It’s what I give her every year. I’m hoping eventually she’ll finally understand boundaries.” 

“I should’ve done that. I just got her a gift card for Target and Candi’s phone number.” 

Leighton laughed so hard she dropped Bela’s head causing it to bang loudly on the floor. 

“Is it good or bad that she didn’t wake up?” 

Whitney shrugged. “No idea, but I’m going with good. I’m too tired to deal with drunk Bela.” 

Chapter Text

Tatum scoffed as she crossed her arms on the couch.

“You are never allowed to be in charge of date nights again.” She glared at Leighton. 

“Honestly? Fair. But just, as a reminder it’s not my fault that Bela recorded me awake enough to mutter out a fine or a deal.”

“And yet here we are held hostage again. Next time you ask me to come to your dorm, I’m bringing my taser.” 

“Hey, you can leave whenever you want. I can’t stop you. I can stop Leighton because otherwise she needs to give up her fancy ass purses they she keeps in a bank vault.” 

Leighton looked to Kimberly and Whitney. “I blame you guys at this stage. You need to agree to switch rooms with me! I cannot sleep easy with Bela in the same room!”

“Yeah, but we don’t want her doing the same to us…” Whitney admitted. 

“So it’s just the one movie right? After one movie this one-” She pointed to Leighton. “Is free to leave?” 

“Yup.” 

“Fine.” 

It ended up not being fine. 

The movie that Bela demanded they watch? The Cure for Insomnia made in 1987. It didn’t have a plot, instead it was just some guy reading a poem with cuts to random heavy metal music and porn. 

Tatum put up with it for a half hour before she snapped. 

“How much longer?”

“Oh just another 84 hours.” Bela shrugged. 

“What? Bela! What the fuck!” Leighton yelled. “I did not agree to an 85 fucking hour long movie! How can you expect us to sit here and watch an 85 hour fucking long movie!”

“Yeah. Call me in four days I guess Leighton.” Tatum got up from the couch. She glanced at Bela. “Definately bringing my taser next time.” 

Once Tatum left Bela looked over at Leighton. “So your girlfriend just flirted with me…in front of you…that’s awkward…”

“She threatened you.” Whitney pointed out. “And I’m not watching more of this movie either. I’m gonna crash with Willow.” 

“I’m just gonna wear my noise cancelling headphones.” Kimberly left to her room leaving Leighton and Bela alone in the common room.

“Bela this is not fair. Pick a regular length movie.” Leighton would storm off too but she was worried about her purses. 

“Fine, and you need to talk me up to someone.” 

“Who?”

“I don’t know yet. But if I see someone I want to be talked up to you, I’ll let you know.” 

…

Leighton finally met with Tatum in a club’s VIP section. 

“So you lost all your bags?” Tatum teased. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or worried that you’re getting serious about us, because I don’t know if I’d give my purses for you.” 

“Okay, first of all, they’re not just purses. They’re Birkin bags. 15 in the vault, 5 out and it rotates.” 

“You gave Bela 20 Birkin bags? Babe no!” 

“Fuck no! Could you imagine? She’d fill them with snacks. No. I got her to pick a film that was a regular length.” Leighton explained, “Saw your post about this place so I had to hit you up.” 

Tatum pulled Leighton down onto her lap and pulled her in for a kiss. 

Leighton deepened the kiss and soon they forgot that they were in the crowded club’s almost crowded VIP section. 

When they finally broke for air Tatum had a smirk on her lips. “My place?” 

Leighton’s eyes darkened as she stared at Tatum’s lips. 

“Your car.” 

…

Leighton was in the backseat of Tatum’s car, her shirt half buttoned, her neck and chest covered in lipstick and bite marks as Tatum was still straddling her and leaning over her. 

Leighton was looking over the new business card in her hand. 

“I gotta get one of these. I have one back home, and at our Hamptons place, but this could come in handy.” She mused as she re-read the Chief of Police’s business card. She knew first hand how having the Chief in your backpocket was good. Case in point they almost got arrested for indecent exposure and now they just got the tip next time to make sure the windows are legally tinted and or covered thanks to Tatum telling him to call the Chief and mention her name. 

“Oh yeah, I mean it’s useless on campus, but considering our families, we basically have that just with our last names.” 

“Yeah, that doesn’t cover things like breaking a statue. Just so you know. Even ten thousand isn’t enough to get out of community service.” 

“What? What did you do?” 

“My first week at Essex I kind of, got drunk and broke the pinky off a statue of John Essex.” 

Tatum laughed at that. “Oh, I didn’t know I was dating a damaged bad girl. Tell me what horrible community service they made you suffer through? Wait is that why you’re in Kappa? Is it a punishment?” 

Leighton lightly smacked Tatum. “No! I’m in Kappa because I love it! I had to work at the women’s center.” 

“Oh God, I’d transfer out instead of step foot in there.” 

“It’s not that bad. It’s not great. But it’s not that bad.” 

Tatum just hummed as if agreeing to let Leighton have her opinion before she moved to open the door behind her. 

“Where are you going?” Leighton asked with a pout on her lips that Tatum wanted to bite off. 

“To the driver’s seat. So we can head to my place.” 

Leighton grinned. “Okay. I’ll stay here.” 

“You are such a passenger princess.” 

“You say it like it’s an insult instead of my preferred title.”

Chapter Text

Leighton really tried not to be such a bitch. She did. But when she was dragged to a city-sponsored walk to defeat depression by her girlfriend, all she could think was how she'd rather kill herself.

As they listened to people after people talk about how hard depression was Leighton kept thinking everyone didn't want to leave bed some days. Everyone thought about how hard it was to just shower or that it was normal to go through periods of time you went to sleep and just hoped you didn't wake up. Instead of walking and being subjected to all this, Leighton would rather donate an insane amount of money and stay in bed. She'd even double it if she thought it meant that Alicia could stay in bed with her.

But a fundraising run/walk was mandatory for mayoral employees, apparently, which meant that they were mandatory for supportive girlfriends.

When they first entered the park there was a sign Outrun Depression with an arrow in the direction they needed to go.

A second sign showed they were on the right path with it’s message of Think of a Happy Thought.

“If I was depressed, someone telling me to think a happy thought, would get me to kill myself.” Leighton pointed out.

“Leighton, save the jokes until we’re back home okay? Write them all down and I promise you can read them all out to me.”

“Fine.” Leighton rolled her eyes as they passed another sign. Be a Warrior not a Worrier. “Oh, come on!”

“Leight.” Alicia warned. “Not a word.” The next sign made it clear why Alicia warned her.

It Gets Better

Progress not Perfection

“I never thought I’d miss the open mic nights at the Women’s Center. Please tell me they have alcohol at this.”

“No Leighton, they don’t have alcohol at the fun run.”

“The sign said It Gets Better.”

“I know, but leave it.”

“Fine.” Leighton looked around at the crowd and frowned. “Jesus, there are so many dogs. If I am covered in dog hair by the time we’re done-”

“I’ll use the lint brush at home to clean them. There are always a bunch of dogs at fun runs.”

“Well, I didn’t know that.” Leighton huffed. She wasn’t one for animals; they were messy and ruined clothes. She liked her nice things and she refused to jeopardize them. Alicia had pointed out that because of Leighton’s stance on pets, that she wouldn’t want kids, but Leighton pointed out unlike a pet, a baby does get potty trained and grows up and isn’t as likely to destory nice things their whole life.

They made it to the registration table.

Leighton raised an eyebrow at the shirts that people were putting on.

She bit her tongue and typed out a text to Alicia.

Leighton: Add another thing to the list of things I’d rather kill myself than do. Wear one of those shirts.

Alicia didn’t even look at her phone, when she was finally at the table for her turn, she signed them both in and re-joined Leighton with two shirts.

“Put it on.” Alicia tossed the shirt on Leighton.

Lieghton looked at the back which had the phrase Self Care is not Selfish on it. She showed it to Alicia. “Yet when I want self care, it is.”

“There is a difference between going to a spa only once a week and going multiple times a day.”

“What’s yours say?”

“Progress, not Perfection.”

“So they’re reusing them? Boring.”

Then came the speeches, stories of people who struggled, or lost people who had struggled. The center that was set up to help individuals talked about what they did, what their goals were. During that time Leighton kept thinking of famous last words people had said the thought tangent had started after someone quoted their mother’s suicide note.

Leighton typed up another text.

Lieghton:

>Famous Last Words.

>Guess who said what.

>“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us must go."

> “I do not believe in my death.”

> “I am about to or I am going to either expression is correct.”

> “What do you think I’m gonna do blow my brains out?”

> The almost last words were “I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much.” To Family. But then a nurse injected them with morphine to ease their pain so their real final words were “Ow, Fuck!”

> These aren’t real ones, just jokes I remember my Granpa telling me.

> Oh Fuck A Bus.

> This water isn’t deep enough for sharks, don’t be a pussy. It was, however, deep enough for the crocodile that ate him.

Leighton looked up from her phone as a Miss American Mood Disorders was brought on stage.

Leighton: So clearly that isn’t a beauty pageant.

Alicia finally checked her phone to see the many messages from Leighton. She rolled her eyes at them before she typed out her own response.

Alicia: Have you texted any of your friends? I’m sure they’d love to laugh at this with you.

Leighton: Whitney just texted me a middle finger emoji.

“Pay attention.” Alicia whispered, taking one of Leighton’s hands in her own.

Leighton looked around and saw that the screen showing the donation thermometer was five thousand short of their goal.

She went back to her phone, opened up venmo and made the donation to put them over the top.

“Leighton, why is your venmo pic on the thermometer?” Alicia asked, staring in horror at the screen.

“Because I didn’t click the donate anonymously box like I thought.”

“We already donated when we signed up.”

“I know, but it was so sad being so close to their goal.”

“You donated more than any of the company sponsors.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re cheap and unlike them, I know the perks of donations towards my taxes, since I actually need to file them now that I have a trackable income.”

“You’re right Leighton, poor you, it’s so hard since your daddy gave you an entire apartment building for your 21st birthday. And to have it already packed full of tenants paying a 200% mark up on rent-”

“Not everyone is paying a mark-up. Bela wanted an apartment saved for her and she’s blackmailing me into letting her live there for just the cost of utilities.”

“Blackmailing you how?”

“Doesn’t matter, all that matters is she has a unit that she’ll only live in for part of the summer.”

“It’s something you don’t want me to know about huh?”

“It is. Nothing horrible or that would jeopardize our relationship, just something horribly embarrassing.”

“Well, if you ever want to get Bela out of that unit, just tell me. I promise not to tease you about it too much.”

“Yeah, no I am doing everything in my power to keep you from knowing about it, and if it means I need to kill Bela, I will.”

Alicia couldn’t think of anything that could possibly be so embarrassing, but considering that Leighton once kept her contacts in for three days rather than admit she needed contacts, let alone glasses, she guessed anything was possible.

After two hours of speeches, it was finally time for the actual run/walk.

The walk was actually nice and peaceful, they weren’t stuck in the middle of a huge crowd, so they could easily talk as they walked.

“My parents really want us to spend Thanksgiving with them. I mean, most of the extended family will be there, some of my parents’ friends. But its a large group so you won’t even have all the attention on you. Usually, after like five minutes of basic small talk, everyone just breaks off into groups. One year Nico and I just snuck the plates into the TV room and watched a movie. No one noticed we weren’t there.”

“So even though they haven’t noticed their children missing from the table, they still really want, not just for you to come for Thanksgiving but me too?”

“I could probably get us out of the actual day, but we are going to have to spend some days with them at least.”

Alicia just shrugged. “We’ll have to spend Christmas with my family for my parents not to throw a fit-”

“Happy to spend Christmas with your family. Your family has little kids that make it seem like the most exciting day of the year.”

The last time they had stayed with Alicia’s family, Alicia’s 3 year old niece would wake Leighton up in the morning by trying to feed her eggos. When Leighton would bite into the food, the toddler would find it to be the funniest thing in the world.

It took a four hour discussion before they left for Alicia’s parents to agree to them sharing a bed, with Alicia reminding them that they already lived together.

“And you’re not going to spend over like $40 on each gift right?”

“I don’t know, Chole keeps telling me she wants a pony.”

“You can buy a toy pony for under $40.”

“She didn’t say a toy pony. She said a pony.”

“Leighton, toy ponies only. She doesn’t need you to like pay for scientists to make her a real-life My Little Pony.”

Leighton laughed. “How rich do you think I am?”

“I don’t know Leight, it just feels like it’s not something out of the realm of possibility. I mean you own like twenty prized race horses. The traditional gift for turning twenty one is your own apartment building in New York. What are the wedding gifts? Whole neighborhoods?”

“No, we get whole cities.” Leighton joked.

Chapter Text

The Murray siblings were relaxing on the yacht after a day of sunbathing and sibling bonding. Alicia and Leighton had talked about marriage since Leighton’s junior year, once Leighton had graduated and was on to grad school they agreed it was okay. So one day, after a regular night of watching Law and Order on the couch, eating their favorite food, Alicia poured her heart out to Leighton and finished with a question. 

That was two months ago. This was the first chance Leighton had since then to hang with Nico and tell him all about it. 

Nico was trying to figure out the best way to approach this. 

“So I have a whole week of events planned. I know, normally bachelorettes are a guy free zone, but since I am your best man-”

“I never said that.” Leighton pointed out. 

“Fine, your Man of Honor.”

“Definately never said that!” 

“It’s only right that I plan the bachelorette party. I was thinking a week in Thailand." Nico explained from his spot on lying across the couch. “Celebrate Alicia’s culture with some sex tourism that has shared her culture with everyone else.” 

“Okay, first, Alicia is from Portland. Her culture is pretentious hipsters. If you mean her ethnicity, she’s Hapa. Her dad’s grandparents came here from Japan. But she’s never been raised in that culture. Not really. Not from her point of view.” Leighton explained. “Second, if you want to go fuck around Thailand and get a bunch of STIs, go for it. I don’t care. You can even tell yourself you’re doing it for me. I don’t care. But do not expect or think for a second I’ll be joining you.” 

“Why? Worried you’ll get the clap again?” He joked, just dodging the cushion thrown at him. 

“Whitney is going to be in charge of the planning. The people who are close to know who they are since they’ll be the only ones at the ceremony. Everyone else will be at the reception.”

“Where are you thinking for the ceremony?” 

“Hampton backyard. It’s just family and close friends. Simple ceremony. Then a big reception at the club where our parents can invite everyone and have the big fuss they want.” She explained. 

“So what is Whitney planning for the party? I want to know what to prepare for.” Nico grinned. 

“You’re not invited.”

Nico rolled his eyes and started to type something on his phone which beeped in reply. 

“Fine. Alicia said I’m invited to hers.” 

“You can come for half of it. The first half is a joint thing and you are not welcomed there.” 

“You want me to miss the karaoke? Leighton, your life partner-”

“Less Nico! Jesus a lot less! I never once have used that term in my life and you know that! Just say my fiance.”

“Sure, I’ll just say that.” He rolled his eyes. “But Alicia has requested a classic Murray sibling duet.” 

“No. No, it’s my party, I don’t want to sing with you. I already got a cheesy number planned and it’s not with you.” 

“What is it? The cheesy song?”

Leighton couldn’t stop grinning as she thought about it. 

“So there was this show, so cheesy that Alicia loves. This woman hates music and during a lightning storm she’s getting an MRI or a cat scan, and the machine is hit by lighting and the tech’s ipod is plugged into it, and it like fuses with her mind. I don’t know why the ipod was important actually…it makes no sense, but anyways she can hear people sing their heartsongs. Like their wants, hopes, dreams, worries. But because she hates music she has no idea what any of the songs are or what they mean or anything like that. For one episode instead of hearing people singing. She starts singing her heartsongs to people. That’s Alicia’s favorite. One of the songs she sings is I’m Yours. It’s Alicia’s favorite song from the whole show.”

“And you’re gonna sing it.” 

“Yeah. It’s a surprise for her.”

…

Whitney was surveying the club they had rented out for that night. In the audience was a raised dias with two thrones on it. Between the chairs was a small table, a bottle already chilling on ice ready for the happy couple. The stage that was used to hosting live bands was decked out for karaoke. 

The DJ booth ready to have the place pumping. 

The back wall was ready to be lined with the buffet of appetisers. 

After a couple of hours, Leighton’s half would be going to a casino where Leighton planned to show off how great she was at blackjack, it was mostly from counting cards, but still. 

Then from whatever money was won they were going to buy something stupidly ridiculous from the casino shop. 

The next day was a spa day and the final five days would be spent on the Murray family yacht with Alicia and her party joining them. 

Just a five day yacht party where mostly likely a good chunk would be spent by their friends ignoring how often the happy couple were sneaking off.  

Everything was set for after their pregaming.

…

Leighton was pacing around the suite, she was criticising everything about her friends appearances that she could. It wasn’t personal, and honestly some of it wasn’t even true, well the Whitney stuff wasn’t, but they all knew she was just anxious and nervous and it was her way of coping however unhealthy that was.

“I should’ve made sure you all had a personal shopper and stylist getting you ready for this. I swear if any of you embarrass me in front of Alicia’s friends and family.” Leighton warned. 

“And you wonder why we’re your only friends.” Whitney joked. 

“I know why! It’s because I’m difficult, unpleasant and so hot everyone is threatened by me from first sight.”

“Again how you take some things as compliments…” Whitney rolled her eyes. “We can behave and not embarrass you in front of Alicia’s friends and family. Don’t worry. Bela knows not to hit on or compliment anyone’s bodies-”

“I was promised V muscle pics later from Nico for it.” Bela added. “Sorry Kimberly.”

“No, those are great muscles.” Kimberly sighed. “Don’t blame you.” 

“I mean he’s gotten his act together mostly right? Since he became a daddy.”

“Became a daddy? Seriously? He got drunk, fucked some drunk slut, and didn’t use a condom. He sees the kid for two hours a week with a nanny. He has gotten worse if possible. He wanted to plan my bachelorette getaway and have it be just sex tourism in Thailand.”  

“So he heard you say no strip clubs, no strippers, no sexy dancers of any type, and he said okay, let’s go to Thailand for some sex? How is he a lawyer?” 

“He’s a corporate lawyer. He just sends out boiler plate stuff to people after doing a find and replace. Plus he’s working at my uncle’s firm so nepotism.” 

“Says the woman working for her grandfather’s hedge fund company.” 

“Managing at my grandfather’s hedge fund company.” Leighton corrected. “I have five people who report directly to me. I go to work five days a week, I work eight hour days like everyone else. I don’t have any special privileges, I earned my spot from years of internships and hard work. I need to pull in everything I possibly can so Alicia can keep doing her sainthood jobs that pay nothing. I mean I swear, her working for that shelter they paid her as if they expected her to have to live there.” 

“You wouldn’t need to worry about money if you didn’t want to live in the upper east side of the most expensive city.” Whitney pointed out. 

“I know, we could live in some midwest city and have a house like five times the size just from the cost of two purses, but I am not raising kids outside of Manhattan. Alicia knows that.  She knew that before we went on our backpacking trip.” 

“So, you guys date for a few weeks or months, still haven’t gotten the answer about that, but then break up. Months later you get back together, a month later you’re talking about raising kids? I know the joke is for lesbians to move fast but that’s insane.” 

“It was brought up by the couples therapist so that if we fought, we knew that we were on the same page for the large stuff.” Leighton shrugged. “Besides it worked out since it wasn’t even a year before we moved in and we’ve been going strong since.” 

“Who knew open communication and trust could lead to such a great romance?” Whitney joked.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why we keep ending up single?” Bela joked looking over at Kimberly. 

“I’m just glad if a relationship doesn’t end with me in a cell.” Kimberly pointed out. 

“So since you mentioned kids-” Bela started. “How long until I have a niece named after me?”

“From me? Eternity. Never naming my child after you. After any of you no offense but that’s not happening. I might be able to be bribed for a middle name.” Leighton pointed out. 

“Why? You can even spell it with the two Ls, that’s fine. Twilight did have the big resurgence a few years back.”

“Not happening.” 

“I’m good with it. The less white Whitneys in the world the better. They always turn out to be bitches.” 

“Yeah but that’s true for Leightons too.” Bela joked. 

Leighton rolled her eyes. “I need to pre-game before we head to the club.”

“Never Have I Ever? It’s been ages since we last played?” Kimberly suggested. Leighton was already pouring the shots. 

“Never have I ever been questioned by the FBI.” Bela started. 

Leighton and Whitney rolled their eyes before downing their shots. 

“Never have I ever spent a weekend in jail.” Leighton smirked causing only Kimberly to drink. 

“Never have I ever fucked someone in their parents house.” Whitney shook her head as everyone but her and Leighton drank. “Still too scared of Alicia’s parents?” 

“We have done it in her brother’s shower. It was when we were staying at his place watching the kids while they went on a babymoon. But that was pushing it.” 

“Yet you had no problem having sex multiple times in my bed.” Whitney pointed out. 

“Well that’s different. Your sex life doesn’t make me feel gross.” Leighton shrugged. 

“Never have I ever gave someone an STI.” Kimberly stated.

“I didn’t know I did at the time!” Leighton groaned. 

“Still counts so drink bitch!” 

Leighton did her shot. 

“Go Bela your turn.”

“Never have I ever slept with my coach/supervisor.” Bela teased. 

“That feels like it should be two different ones.” Whitney pointed out. “Because clearly you’re trying to get me and Leighton to drink.”

“Wait, what supervisor did I sleep with?”

“Alicia.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting she was technically my boss, I just keep thinking she was just bossing me around for fun.” Leighton laughed. “Whatever, worth the shot.” 

“Yeah, you’re about to have her boss you around for the rest of your life.” Bela teased. 

“And I’ve never looked forward to anything more in my life.” Leighton couldn’t help but grin at the thought. 

“Oh I got one! Never have I ever been the bottom in a relationship!” Bela fired out. 

“Not this again!” Whitney groaned as she moved quickly to grab Leighton before she attacked Bela. 

“Hey! I have proof since that first fight over this!” 

“You broke into my house, hid in a hall closet, and watched me and Alicia have sex. That not proof.”

“Okay, again, you gave me a key, it wasn’t breaking in-”

“That key was to check on the house in case of emergency when we were out of town. Not for you to play voyeur." 

“I snuck in because I wanted to see what I could get you for your anniversary. I wanted to search your bedroom to see if you used any of the sex toys I got you before so I could know if I was on the right track with them or if I should go in a different direction.”

“And us telling you so many times, to stop with the sex toys?” 

“You’re prudish about sex. But I figured it’s not the same during, which I was right about. I mean it was hot as fuck.” 

“You’ve given her back the key right?” Whitney raised an eyebrow at Bela. 

“We changed the locks that night.” Leighton stressed. “We only found out she was in there when she knocked over a shelf.” 

“Thankfully it was after you guys finished, at least it sounded like you finished…” 

Leighton finished off a few more shots. It was gonna be a long night. 

…

By the time they all met up at the club, Leighton was loaded, she planned to only be tipsy at the preparty so she could still be sober enough for her surprise for Alicia. 

“You guys have fun?” Alicia teased accepting the drunk Leighton from Whitney. 

“Never Have I ever was a mistake.” Whitney admitted. “She’s done so much shit.” 

“But not cheated. That was just Bela, and Kimberly and Nico.” Leighton pointed out. “Because dreams don’t count.”

“That’s right, dreams don’t count.” Alicia laughed remember when she woke up panicked about a sex dream and Leighton just laughed at how worried she was. 

“Nico wasn’t there.” Whitney reminded her.

“He’s always there, because everyone loves Nico.” Leighton grumbled. “You should marry him. He’d charm everyone at those fundraisers. Not like me where I don’t even go to half of them because we both can’t tell people to go fuck themselves, then ask for money.” 

Alicia just ran her hand through Leighton’s hair trying to soothe her worries. 

“I don’t think Nico would look nearly as good in your dress.” She joked trying to lighten the mood. “You’re the only one I want to marry. No matter how charming Nico is.” Alicia looked over to Whitney. “Can you get us some of the food and coffee please? I want to sober her up enough to at least remember this.” 

“I’ll remember.” Leighton stressed moving to fully sit on Alicia’s lap and cuddle into her laying her head on her shoulder. “I don’t black out.” 

“You going to sleep?” Alicia whispered.

“Small one.” 

“Okay, you have a nap.”

…

Whitney felt terrible. Her one job this night was to keep Leighton sober enough to enjoy it. Instead she got so drunk that she was currently asleep cuddled into Alicia despite the loud music all around them. 

Alicia’s legs were starting to fall asleep so she tried to wake Leighton.

“Baby, come on, have some coffee. You need to wake up a bit.” Alicia had Leighton awake enough that the blonde’s hand started to work its way under Alicia’s shirt, only for Alicia grabbed her wrist. “We are in the middle of a crowded room filled with our friends. We can’t do that now.” 

Leighton pouted but the reminder of where they were seemed to wake her up more. Leighton fully lifted her head up now and saw the coffee. She took the cup that Whitney and poured up for her.

“You’re going to be so hung over tomorrow.” Alicia teased. 

“Whatever we’ll be at the spa.” Leighton shrugged as she chugged the coffee. “How was your pregaming?” 

“Clearly not as good as yours.” Alicia teased. 

“I’m going to get more coffee, do you want anything?” 

“I’m good.”

Leighton made a beeline for Whitney and pulled her in close. 

“We need to cancel the surprise. I’m too drunk.”

“Relax, I figured when you fell asleep you were too out of it. I already have it taken out of the queue. I got you.” Whitney reassured her. “You slept through five of Nico’s performances.”

“Of course he did five already.” Leighton rolled her eyes. 

…

“It’s not fair. You’re drunk. How are you still this good?” Bela complained knowing not to use words like math, or counting. 

“What can I say, I’ve spent a lot of time in casinos.” Leighton had a large pile of chips in front of her at the blackjack table. Bela, was down to two chips, Kimberly had the same amount she started with and Whitney had what most would consider a decent pile, unless they compared it to Leighton’s. 

“I’m getting bored of this.” Leighton muttered before betting all her chips. “I want to see what ridiculous thing we can buy at the shop.” 

The dealer dealt out the cards and Leighton smirked as she was dealt 21. 

Once they got to the gift shop Leighton went straight to a display of teddy bears in spa robes that were identical to the robes in the hotel, which were also for sale. Leighton grabbed a bear and a robe knowing that she’d buy them for them. 

“You can buy the same type of mattresses they have and bedding!” Kimberly sounded amazed. 

Leighton looked over at them and shrugged. “Sure. If you want them. Anyone else want a new bed and bedding?” 

“Yeah sure that bed was soft!” Bela wouldn’t turn down free high end bedding. 

Leighton saw Whitney looking at sunglasses. “Might as well get us all a pair.” 

Kimberly was having a hard time thinking about how in a few short hours, while drunk, Leighton won enough money at blackjack to pay off the student loans of the average college student and was determined to blow it all at the casino store. She tried not to focus on the ridiculous amounts of money she witnessed Leighton waste, but sometimes like now when Leighton literally had a high roller tray to carry her chips to cash them in, did she think of the good that money could do. 

Matching Gucci lounge wear was added for everyone with Leighton getting a necklace to go with the bear and robe after she spotted one with a pentagram that she knew Alicia would love, since a majority of their jewellery was witchy to piss off various overly religious family members. 

They still had quite a lot of money left over and it was decided to use as much as possible on room service. 

…

Ever since they got on the yacht and Alicia found her casino gifts in their bedroom, the happy couple had been locked in their bedroom.

Alicia loved her hotel robe, and the bear with its matching robe was just adorable. 

She still contested that some of the best sex was robe sex. 

Now they were bathing in the afterglow and making up for the two nights they were forced to spend away. 

Taskmaster playing on the TV as Leighton rested her head in Alicia’s lap and the older woman stroked her hair. 

“What did you do with all the leftover winnings?” 

“Oh, I went with another engagement gift for you.” Leighton got up and went over to her bag, pulling out an envelope. “You know how I have access to so many of your passwords?”

“Yeah…”

“Well I used that info for good.” She promised passing over an envelope to Alicia. 

Alicia opened it and found a printed receipt of her student loans being fully paid off. 

“Leight-”

“You said you were worried about bringing in debt to the marriage, which is ridiculous since the prenup would prevent that from saddling me anyways. But by using the party winnings I found a loophole. It’s not my money, or my parents. It’s just found money. So by using it to pay off your student loan it doesn’t break any agreements.” Leighton stressed. “It just takes stress from your mind.”

“Leighton…” Alicia kept staring at the paper. 

“We agreed card counting money is found fun money. What’s more fun than paying off your student loan?” Leighton looked so full of happiness and hope that she finally found a loophole so she could get rid of Alicia’s student loans. 

“And you spent fun money on paying off a loan?” 

“It’s fun for me. Anything that’ll bring you less stress is fun for me. It’s priceless.”

“And how am I ever going to give you something even as close to this?” 

Leighton shrugged. “When we finally have our kids, you get two more night shifts than me?” 

Alicia laughed and nodded. 

“Sure.”

…

“So we’re not going to go visit your neighbor?” Bela asked once again as they all laid down in the sun on the deck of the boat. 

“We’re not going to St. Bart’s. We’re not leaving American Waters.” Leighton explained. “Notice how I didn’t mention anyone needing a passport?” 

“I just thought once you got to a certain wealth level you don’t need passports anymore.” Kimberly pointed out. “Since a lot of laws don’t apply.”

“They still apply, just at this level, it’s a fine that is like an hour’s worth of income for them so it’s meaningless.” Alicia helpfully added. “And they also get favors from the chief of police or mayor, or DA by donating to stuff.” 

“That is true. My wallet is mostly cards of people to call if I get pulled over or arrested.” Leighton had to admit. 

“Like when you ran over five parking meters after hitting black ice.” 

“We were just lucky the street was weirdly empty. Otherwise I wouldn’t hit like 20 cars and hitting black ice means I was not at fault.”

“There’s a proper way to drive when the roads could be icy and you were not doing it.” Alicia pointed out. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been a car that Leighton was driving.” Bela pointed out searching her memory for such a thing. 

“I don’t drive often.” 

“Leighton would rather be a passenger princess.” Alicia teased. 

“Who wouldn’t? I can nap, scroll away, just close my eyes because I can.” 

“Tell me I’m going to slow, going to fast, picked the slow way-” Alicia got a lounge pillow thrown at her for that comment. 

As they relaxed on the yacht, Leighton looked around at their closest friends and she had to admit it was better than any of the other plans that were floated her way for this party. Who needed a Vegas getaway when she could just have a simple vacation.

Chapter Text

Leighton didn’t understand why she was being forced to join this ‘foursome’ as her dad called it. She hated golf. She always hated golf. It was boring, nothing ever happened in it. 

Even now she was being forced to do practice drives. 

“No, Lighton, we talked about this, keep your knees slightly bent, arms straight, back slightly arched. Then it’s all in the hips.” Henry explained trying to show Leighton how to perfect her swing. He even tried moving her hips for her only to have Leighton lightly push him off. 

Henry grinned as he heard a beautifully sharp click before seeing a ball go farther than he ever managed. 

“See Henry, that’s what happens when you get them on the course young.” George bragged. “And this isn’t even in her top three sports.” 

“That’s true.” Tatum admitted. “Tennis, archery and lacrosse.” 

“The closest thing Leighton did was shopping for hours on end in person.” 

“I was in three different dance classes from 4 to 17.” Leighton argued. 

“Not a sport.” Henry and George both objected. 

“Why don’t you two see who has the better game, while I help Leighton get further than a few feet.” Tatum suggested putting her driver in her bag and going over to Leighton’s section. 

“Okay, first off, let’s try a lefty club.” Tatum took one offered by a staff member. “Legs apart, slightly.” Tatum adjusted it so she had enough room to put her leg between Leighton’s, as pressed herself against Leighton’s back, her hands on her hips. “Move with one smooth motion.” Tatum covered Leighton’s hands and went through a few practice swings. “Now, if you can get that ball over there, not only will I potassium you later, but you’ll get a surprise during it.” 

“You do know how to incentivise me.” Leighton mused before adjusting herself, following the stance. 

While it wasn’t such a resounding clink as Tatum’s it was more of a thud it did go a respectable distance. 

“Not bad.” Tatum praised. “You should stick to tennis though.”

“You criticise my tennis skills…”

“You’re good at tennis in a casual sense, just not close to my level. It’s fine. Not many are.” Tatum casually dropped. 

“Well, not many can pull off such outdated outfits like you can.” Leighton teased back. 

“Okay, put the claws away. I’m going to go get us some drinks okay? Consider it a peace treaty.” 

“That’s not our usual peace offering.”

“And if I thought for a minute that we’d be able to get away from our dads long enough for our usual, I’d be doing that.” 

Leighton looked around and checked the time. 

“Dad, we don’t have a tee time for like another two hours right? I’m starved. Tatum and I are heading to the clubhouse.” 

“Okay pumpkin.” 

“5k a yard Murray?” George asked looking over at his buddy. 

“Chump change. How about this, loser, foots the bill for their place in the fall? Full year.” 

“Wait, do they think we’re moving in together?” Leighton looked over to Tatum.

“We have two months before we need to worry about that.”

“But I already told you I’m moving into Kappa.” 

“Leight, I’m not asking you to move in with me. But I will remind you, I am not spending the night in that house. I like to have conversations about more than just boys and clothes.” 

“Okay, they’re not that bad. I mean Quinn Cannon-”

“Probably can tell how much you love her. Honestly, starting to wonder if I should be jealous. I mean you have notifications on her posts but not mine.” Tatum teased. 

“I don’t love Quinn Cannon, besides she’s straight.”

“Unless she’s had a few.” Tatum smirked when Leighton fully stopped in her tracks. 

“What?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you before? My freshman year, we hooked up. Just a fling, she was drunk, pissed at her boyfriend, came on to me. I knew what it was, just another experiment but I didn’t give a fuck.” Tatum laughed as she saw the look on Leighton’s face. “Okay, are you jealous of her for sleeping with me, or me for sleeping with her?” 

“I don’t like Quinn like that. She was just like, everything I wanted to be…”

“It’s a classic cliche for a reason. Do I want to be her or be on top of her, though in your case, under her.” 

“She was just the best model for popular, hot and straight.” 

“Kinda sad I didn’t get to see closeted Leighton, she sounds like such a mess. It would’ve been fun to torture her. I mean you’re already a mess-”

“Enough foreplay already, let’s just head up to the room.” Leighton pulled Tatum towards the elevator that led to the private quarters of the founding member’s families. The club having been founded by Leighton’s great,great,great grandfather and his drinking buddies. 

…

Leighton was on her second drink, Tatum on her first, when their fathers joined them. 

“We want to have a little contest between us.” George started. 

“Leight, two months, black card, no limit, no questions.” 

“Tatum, the car you were looking at? Done.” George laid out the terms. 

“And if we lose?” Leighton asked cautiously. 

“If you lose, I want nightly phone calls, that last at least an hour, where you do not deflect or lie, but answer my questions honestly.” Henry stressed. 

“So, I could buy a yacht a day if Tatum beats you?” Leighton checked. 

“You could and good catch trying to see if Tatum beating me could cause you to win.”

“So I just need to beat you both?” 

“Or we can combine scores. If you and Leighton have a better score than Henry and I-”

“Which will be near impossible. But it means that you Tatum, have to beat both of us.” 

A thought crossed Leighton’s mind. 

“Wait, just wait.” She let a small slur enter her speech. “We’ve been here drinking. I’m on my fourth, and you’re on what five?” Leighton looked over to Tatum.

“Around.” Tatum smirked catching up to Leighton’s plan. 

“So it’s only fair for you to match us.” Leighton argued. 

Henry and George looked at each other. 

“I think that’s only fair.” Henry smiled, calling over a server. 

…

It was not hard to talk their dads into drinking and if they happened to have drank more than the amounts that Leighton and Tatum lied about, then no one noticed. 

Tatum had convinced them to double the bet with the double stakes set later, by having combined scores. 

The ride in the cart was enough to have Leighton question if it was a good idea. Clearly their dads were drunk. 

Leighton wasn’t doing too bad. She wasn’t what one would call good, but when she swung, the ball went forward and she didn’t take chunks of ground with it. So not too bad. 

The intoxicated fathers however, they were struggling. 

Henry bent a club by missing the ball and instead smashing into the ground so hard the club bent under the force while also taking some ground with it. 

George was amazing while drunk, the way he would drive the ball, it was a dot and Leighton honestly couldn’t figure out how anyone could follow a white dot in a bright sky. 

The only downside for George was that instead of it going straight down the fairway, it would stray to the side, sometimes getting lost in the trees or ponds, a few times the sand. 

“So Dad has 10. George has 7. Tate you have 2 and I have 5.” Leighton read out the scores from the first three. 

“That can’t be right.” Henry mumbled trying to get an eye on the score card. 

“Are you seriously questioning my math?” Leighton wasn’t sure if she should be angry or offended. 

“No, well…no.” Henry huffed. “You’re too good at holding your liquor.” He eyed her carefully.

“You’re the one who drank on an empty stomach. You always told me not to do that.” Leighton pointed out. “That’s how you wake up naked on the basement floor of a frat house, with a bad reputation.”  

“That’s right.” Henry nodded in agreement at the advice he ingrained in his children. Nico got the same advice only instead of bad reputation it was more humiliation. 

“Just hit the ball already. Golf is boring.” Leighton complained. 

“How do you plan to make business deals if you hate golf?” George questioned. 

“Dad, not everyone makes deals on the golf course.” Tatum rolled her eyes.

“I’m just saying, never saw a woman get ahead in business without golf.” George stressed. 

“I know one.” Henry pointed out. “But I don’t want Leighton using her technique. But hey, eight abortions and a few bugs, look at her, she’s the queen of an empire.” 

“Jesus, I am not drunk enough for this.” Leighton gagged. 

…

By the end the daughters had won. 

Leighton was already checking out what to buy from her favorite sites and Tatum was seeing what custom features she should add to her car. 

Henry had pressed a kiss to Leighton’s cheek, handing over his card to her before shutting the door on the town car for her. George had matched the farewell with Tatum, just minus the passing of a card. 

“What are you thinking for a double? I mean what’s double a car?” 

“A townhouse. I’m going to Columbia for grad school, might as well get a townhouse that’s all mine.” 

“Oh, finally going to leave Long Island huh?” Leighton joked not wanting to focus too much on what it would mean for them for Tatum to go to New York while Leighton was stuck in Essex. 

“So, where exactly do you think the Hamptons are? Because you have raved about there for hours.” 

“Long Island is a good summer place or long weekends, like the Vineyard, or the Cape, but year round? As your primary home? Nightmare.” Leighton teased. “Oh and make sure your townhouse is in the Upper East Side for a timeless class. Stay out of Harlem, it’s on the up but it’ll crash.” 

Tatum gave a small laugh. “I know babe.” 

“So how long should we wait before we tell our dad we were faking being drunk?” 

“Oh, never.”

Chapter Text

Everyone knows that the only thing worse than dealing with adults, is dealing with stage parents and despite the name, stage parents weren’t just limited to the theatre kids. 

Alicia saw how it could be thanks to the city of New York. 

Not only did they have try outs at age 3, but they were ranked so you knew what group of toddlers were more skilled than others and how if your child was rejected from the group you expected them to be in, it was a big scene. 

She didn’t get why they had to take their two year old to try outs for soccer where she would be lucky to kick the ball once while running let alone anything else. 

Now Alicia was of the mind that before the age eight, most kids were level in natural talent and skill. Sure some were slightly better but it was usually because that was what the kid loved to do and did most of the time.  

Alicia was taken fully by surprise when during the tot try outs, one little girl bumped into Ivy.

“HEY WHAT THE HELL? IVY YOU GET UP AND YOU SHOW THAT LITTLE BITCH WHO’S BOSS!” Leighton screamed from the sidelines causing Alicia to jump in shock. She was about to tell Leighton to relax when whom she could only guess was the other girl’s mom proceeded to yell back. 

“LUCY YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO LET SOME LITTLE SHIT STOP YOU! NOTHING GETS BETWEEN YOU AND THE GOAL!” 

“The goal? They barely can kick the ball.” Alicia decided to be a parent first and a psycho fan second and kept her eyes on Ivy to see how she was handling it. Currently, after getting knocked on her butt by a slight bump, she was now rocking back and forth on her stomach on the ball, not the slightest care about the drills or kids around her. 

<blockquote class="imgur-embed-pub" lang="en" data-id="a/Qu07xae" data-context="false" ><a href="//imgur.com/a/Qu07xae"></a></blockquote><script async src="//s.imgur.com/min/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Soon Whitney was there watching these parents push their preschool aged kids. 

“This is crazy. I didn’t start playing until I was six and even then we were never like this. This has to be a white people thing.” Whitney explained. “You didn’t see this coming at all?”

“No.” Alicia sighed. “We should just try and go to a different program. One where parents are a lot less.” 

“I called some of the girls from back on the team, the only programs that are chill, are poorly equipped. It’s for low income families so you’re not going to get Ivy into it. We both know you won’t take a spot from a kid.” 

“You’re right. Maybe I can bribe a ref to tell Leighton to chill or they’ll ban us…” 

“Or you know, get your wife under control.” Whitney teased before laughing at just the thought of it. 

Suddenly the first girl tripped over Ivy (still balancing on her ball) and landed face first on the field. 

“SOMEONE GET THAT BRAIN DEAD BITCH OFF THE FIELD!” The loud obnoxious mom yelled. 

“What did she just say?” Alicia looked at Whitney in disbelief. “Excuse me.” Alicia went scarily calm before she ran by Whitney. 

Leighton was already in the other mom’s face yelling at her when she caught sight of her wife in her peripheral vision. 

“Oh fuck. ‘Licia! Don’t! Cunts like her press charges!” Leighton moved to grab Alicia and stop her before she fully attacked this woman. 

“Let me go Leighton, that bitch needs someone to fuck up her terrible face lift!” Alicia was always surprised at how hard it was to get out of Leighton’s hold. 

“She’ll press charges and you’ll be fucked. I’m not worried about the jail time or anything but if you can’t work with your at risk youths you’ll get depressed.” Leighton was trying to keep Alicia from making a mistake. 

“Did you hear what she said?” 

“I did. I was telling her that whatever gremlin clawed out of her rancid pussy, needed to get her vision check.”

Before they could really let her have it, the sound of a double whistle cut through the air and the coach yelled that they were finished and the kids were running to their parents and nannies. 

“Mommy! Momma! Guess what?” Ivy yelled in her excitement carrying the ball in her hands. 

“What is it baby?” Leighton and Alicia asked as they knelt down to be eye level with Ivy. 

Ivy held up the ball. “Ball!” 

“That is a ball. Great job!” Alicia praised her. 

Ivy noticed Whitney standing by and let the ball fall as she ran to her. 

“Auntie Witt!” She excitedly screamed. 

“Ivy!” 

Whitney picked Ivy up in her arms and gave her a big spinning hug. 

“Guess what?” The two words Ivy said before most sentences.

“What?” Whitney asked. 

“My ball!” Ivy pointed to the soccer ball she dropped. 

“You have a soccer ball now? That’s so cool!” Whitney let Ivy back down. 

“Ivy, are you hungry?” 

“Tree Guys?” 

“Yes, we can get Three Guys.” Leighton laughed, it was a great spot just around the corner of their place. “Auntie Whit, you joining us?” 

“Do you want me to go Ivy?” Whitney looked at the little girl. 

“Yes!” Ivy was so excited. 

“Then I’m coming.” 

…

After a late brunch they were back to Leighton and Alicia’s townhouse. 

Leighton ended up having to take a work call, leaving Whitney and Alicia alone while Ivy napped. 

“I don’t want Ivy around those insane parents two times a week.” 

“She’s around one seven days a week.” Whitney pointed out. 

“Yeah, but I can work on that now that I know it’s an issue. If we had someone who knew how kids soccer works, might know some people they could call, start a whole new league…” 

“Alicia…” Whitney groaned. “Fine. Okay, fine. I’ll do it. I’ll coach Ivy’s team, but you’re dealing with the rest of it and that includes Leighton.” 

“I can get Leighton to not yell for Ivy to attack a kid.” Alicia wasn’t worried, she just needed a video from a NASCAR race of some redneck doing it and Leighton would never do it again. “I’ll talk to some of the more reasonable parents. I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks its insane for kids to have try outs at two years old.” 

…

Alicia had gathered some of the more calm and reasonable parents from the usual play groups and other activities. 

“Can we all agree that no child under five has the skills or natural talent to be a star athlete?” 

“I think even after five is included too.” One of the dads added. 

“Yeah, but I think we can all agree that no kid needs to hear parents yelling and screaming in the stands. Insulting other kids.” Alicia added. 

“Aren’t you married to Leighton Murray?” One mom asked. 

“I am.”

“She yelled for your daughter to step on my son when he was ‘in the way’.” 

“Yes, I am aware that my wife is part of the problem and we talked about it and she will not be yelling anything but positive encouragement.” Alicia promised. 

“Okay, so if we do agree to put our kids in this new league, who is going to be the coaches?” 

“We only need two. I don’t think we’ll have enough kids for more than that. Plus at their ages, it’s mostly just to teach them basics and structure right?”

“Are you going to force us to inject poison into our kids to join?” 

“For the last time Keeley vaccines are not poison and yes, you need to vaccinate your kid, if you don’t they can die. I mean you are vaccinated. You’re fine, so protect your kid already! I want to also open it up so that half the teams are from lower income communities.”

“Fine.” 

…

It took a few weeks but they finally had their first practice for their new soccer league. It was for ages 2-3 and so far even with all the kids having their own uniform and ball, they were more interested in just running around just being toddlers. 

One little boy knocked into Ivy, who fell on her butt again. Alicia looked over at Leighton who looked like she was physically straining to stop herself losing it. 

“You’re okay Ivy, it’s okay!” Leighton called out. 

“See? No need to threaten the child.” Alicia teased. 

“It’s fine, I’m going to see who his parent is and key their car.” 

“‘Long as you have a plan.” Alicia rolled her eyes. She was pretty sure none of the parents drove themselves over.

Chapter Text

Leighton was starting to regret this. 

Sleeping with Tatum in her bed. 

The handcuffs.

The blindfold.

Tatum’s smirk, that even evident in her voice, as Leighton begged for Tatum to never stop. 

Then the lack of touch.

Tatum’s taunting as she left Leighton cuffed to the small twin bed, blindfolded, and so close to getting her release before the older woman got off the bed (and Leighton) entirely. 

“Well, I’m off to class. See you in a few hours.” Tatum leaned down to give Leighton a kiss goodbye, the younger blonde whimpering into the kiss and straining to follow as Tatum pulled away.

“Tate, stop teasing.” Leighton whined. “We both know you’re just fooling around, you’re not going to class and leaving me like this.” 

“Oh I am. I got your keys. There is the problem of you calling in one of your little friends to let you out, but I know how to fix that.” 

Leighton was trying to figure out what it could be when she felt the unmistakable feeling of a marker on her stomach. 

“What are you doing?”

“Just writing about how you have a humiliation kink and that having one of your friends help you out of this, is part of it. Consider it insurance because we both know if Bela saw this, she’ll bring it up all the time, and will never not believe it’s true.” 

“So fucking evil.” Leighton groaned. 

“If it’s too much, say the word. Otherwise I’m leaving a note for your roommates to stay out, and I’ll see you in three hours.” 

Leighton went to open her mouth to speak but Tatum seemed to have read her mind. 

“Your phone is within easy reach so if you need out for any reason, you can get me.” 

A whole ten minutes passed before Bela tried to enter the room. 

“Leight, is this note a joke? You’re seriously banning me from my room?” Bela asked through the door. 

“Just give me a few hours!” Leighton called back. 

Unfortunately Leighton didn’t get to wait her few hours. 

She tried to text Tatum to come quick but while trying to type, she ended up just knocking down the phone out of reach. 

Now she needed to figure out which of the three roommates should she ask for help. 

Bela was out. It would lead to nonstop questions and asking for invites to join in. 

Kimberly, would make it all kind of weird.  

Which left the only option. Whitney. 

“Whit! Can you come here for a second? I really need your help! Your specific help!” Leighton yelled out. “I need you to keep your eyes closed though when you come in here!” 

Whitney was too curious to resist, and soon slipped into the room, her eyes closed. 

“What do you want Leighton?” 

“I need you to unlock me…” 

“Unlock you…wait, am I keeping my eyes closed because you’re chained to the bed naked?” 

“Yeah.”

Whitney rolled her eyes behind her lids. 

“Just, help me find a blanket or something to cover you so I can find the key.” 

“ I’m blindfolded…” Leighton pointed out. 

“Okay. I’ll keep looking at the floor and find a blanket that way.” 

Soon Leighton had a blanket thrown over her and Whitney was able to find the key.

“Next time, tell Tatum to leave you a hand free or something.” Whitney advised her as she unlocked the handcuffs. 

“This wasn’t planned!”

“Well, next time remember to use a safe word.”

Tatum had to laugh when she spotted Leighton waiting for her outside her class. 

“You got out.” 

“I got out.” Leighton confirmed. 

“You got Whitney to help didn’t you? That’s who I’d get.”

“I did, and she pointed out that most of those items have safety releases, but yours didn’t.”

“Where’s the fun without the real danger?” Tatum teased. 

“Sorry, what was dangerous for you?” 

“Absolutely none of it, but the knowledge of you there, waiting for me, really exciting.”

Chapter Text

Alicia knew that private schools meant something different. 

She didn’t think it was going to be this intense at the start of pre-school.

Right now Alicia was listening to some dad with too much free time on his hands complain that the school only offered bilingual classes and not quadlingual classes. Apparently he wanted his genius to be able to speak four different languages. 

Alicia figured he should be more concerned with the amount of glue his kid ate, over the number of languages. 

The cafeteria was free of gluten, GMOs, animal products, sugar and carbs. 

Personally Alicia thought it was just cruel. If this was what they really wanted for their kids, why didn’t they just move to LA instead of staying in the city of bagels. 

“Do you hire teachers with Masters or is it just doctorates?” Another parent asked and Alicia had to bite her lip to literally keep herself from groaning out loud. Why would they need a doctorate to teach pre-school. 

“For Pre-school it is Masters, but after grade 4 it’s doctorates only.” 

“I heard that you’ll not be allowing kids to be called by their pronouns? Is that true? You’re making everyone be non gender?” 

“Is this a joke?” Alicia whispered to Leighton. “It’s an all girls school. Are they serious?” 

“I heard you’re putting in litter boxes for kids that identify as cats? I don’t want my daughter having to see some kid shit in a box.” 

“That is not true.” 

“I keep forgetting even though New York is pretty liberal, the richer you are the more likely you are to only watch Fox News.” Alicia muttered. 

“It’s ridiculous.” Leighton agreed. 

“Can we make sure that my daughter doesn’t have to share a classroom with ant SPs?” One woman who had too much plastic surgery whined. 

“Shut up Carol! You’re in a cult!” Leighton called out glaring at the woman. 

“Stay out of this Murray! You’re an SP you can’t talk to me!” 

“Move to Clearwater already and leave us alone. No one wants to join your cult. I don’t care if you once threw out the cum towel your brother used to jack off Tom Cruise.” Leighton turned her attention to the staff. “How are you allowing cults into this school?” 

“You know we’re legacy Leighton we were in the same class!” 

“All religious are welcomed here at Spence.” The poor staff member stressed. 

“I’ll be running for president of the PTA.” Carol the cult member announced. 

“Same! And if you vote for me I promise to ban cults and cunts like Carol.” Leighton announced. 

“And on that note I think we can call this meeting to a close. Thank you for attending this information session and we look forward to having your daughters attend our Pre-school program in a month’s time.” 

As they were making their way out of the room Carol grabbed Leighton’s arm. 

“Stop slandering my church or I’ll sue you.” She threatened. 

Leighton grabbed her arm back. “I can point out a cult is a cult all I want and if you want to sue me that’s fine. I’m not the only sending all my money to a cult. See you in court Carol. You’re in a cult call your dad.” 

Leighton and Alicia left the building heading to the nearest bar for a drink. 

“Do we need to send Ivy to this school? The parents are insane.” 

“No matter where we go the parents will be insane. But Spence is a good school. I mean I went there and I turned out fine.” 

Alicia gave Leighton a hard look. 

“Okay, my issues are not because of Spence.”

“We can see how it is. But this is assuming that your fight with Carol isn’t getting us kicked out.” 

“It won’t. Worse case we give them a nice big donation. I can out bid Carol…actually-” She started to type something on her phone. 

“Do I want to know?”

“Just trying to see if Carol owns her house outright and she doesn’t. Okay. Good news babe, in two months we’ll have a new house we can rent out, or demonish.”

“Leighton you cannot buy people’s houses from the banks just because they pissed you off.”

“Yes I can.”

Chapter Text

Leighton and Tatum were doing their annual tradition of reading A Night Before Christmas to their kids before they head out to the Christmas party at the club. 

Leighton was sat on their daughter, Sabine’s bed while Tatum, and their twin boys, Hutton and Ward

Leighton and Tatum were sat on each of their twin boys, Hutton and Ward’s beds, while their daughter, Sabine, was clinging to Leighton’s side. 

“Ready for our bedtime story?” Tatum asked, looking over at the kids for confirmation. 

“ ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the Brownstone,
Not a device was running, not even a Doordash drone;

The stockings were hung on the mezzanine,
In hopes that Grandpa would bring the Wimbledon Pinball Machine;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While their moms were at the club drinking wine of whites and reds,

And Nanny Olga and Manny Alexei finished knitting his cap;
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap-” Leighton was interrupted by Ward. 

“That’s not the story that they read in school.” He pointed out yawning, trying to fight his little body’s need for sleep. 

“It’s the same story stupid!” Hutton argued.

“Hey! I didn’t have any stupid kids.” Leighton tried to get her sons to stop fighting. “If you don’t like our version of this story I’m sure I can find a copy of the old one.” 

“Look, most Christmas stories are made to make the poor feel good about having nothing because back then they had no other choice.” Tatum explained. “Like if I want to buy Momma a nice necklace, I don’t need to sell my hair. I just call up Tiffany’s and they send it on the way.” 

“Is this your way of saying you got me a necklace for Christmas?” Leighton teased.

“You’ll find out in like 9 hours.” Tatum rolled her eyes. “Do you guys really want to listen to some story about how all you need for Christmas is each other when you have stories about how nice it is to have nice things and family?”

“No more Fashion Weeks in Paris?” Leighton tried to really sell why money was better than no money. 

“No more summers on the yacht.” Tatum pointed out. 

“No more lobster boils at the Vineyard.” 

“No more long weekends at the Hamptons.”

“No more trips to Disney World.”

The kids all seemed to share a look at the prospect of the last one. 

“We want to go to Disney World.” Hutton stressed. 

“We’ll keep going to Disney World.” Tatum laughed. 

“How about we all just read one of the classic bedtime stories? We already know it’s Christmas, we don’t need a bedtime story to tell us that.” Leighton suggested. 

With that agreed Tatum grabbed another book off the large bookcase in the twin’s room before she grabbed a copy of The Wind and the Willows. 

“Everyone comfy?” She asked looked around before she started to read the book. “Okay. The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, and an aching back and weary arms.” 

Sabine was out before the fourth paragraph. Hutton lasted half the first chapter and Ward was out about two paragraphs after that. 

Leighton carried Sabine over to her room and tucked her in. 

Leighton was touching up her make up when Tatum wrapped her arms around her from behind. 

“You know, instead of going to the same party as usual, where most of our friends, families and co-workers will be, we could stay in.” 

“We could, but what would we do?” Leighton asked raising an eyebrow as she met Tatum’s eyes in the mirror. 

“Potasium.” Tatum whispered in her ear. 

Leighton put down her hand that was holding her lip liner. She turned around cupped Tatum’s cheek. “I wanna see my necklace.”

“What necklace?” 

“I bought something for us. I figured it’d be fun for after the party, while our heads are still swimming in the bubbles from the champagne. But instead of it is a good idea too. Go and pick us out a nice bottle of something.” Leighton pressed a kiss to her wife’s lips before gently pushing her away. 

Sure, some might see the need to dress up as a sexy mrs. claus as a sign of a marriage lacking in the sex department, but their sex life has never been more active. People kept warning her that once they had kids it would seriously impact their sex life. Kimberly was very vocal about that after in junior year she found herself unexpectedly expecting and it practically halted any and all sex in her life. 

Tatum had a nice chilled bottle of champagne chilling and ready for them when Leighton entered the bedroom suite in her sexy Mrs. Claus outfit. 

“What do you think?” 

“I think you look like you just stepped out of Mean Girls.” Tatum practically whistled as she took in the sight. 

“What can I say, I’m a total Kady.” Leighton grinned pushing Tatum into one of the overstuffed chairs they had in their bedroom. 

“Yeah you are.” 

…

Leighton woke up with Tatum’s arm around her waist and two very boney little knees in her side and a pair of tiny hands with sharp nails trying pry open her eyes. 

“Mommy open eyes! It’s morning time!” Sabine cheerfully yelled as she tried to pry open Leighton’s eyes. 

“Hutton, I love you but if you keep jumping on me you’re going to break something.” Tatum groaned as Hutton jumped one last time. 

Leighton felt her pain because Ward was doing the same to her. 

“Come on! Santa came!” Ward complained trying to pull Leighton up. 

“Okay, okay. We’ll get up. Just let us get the coffee started at least.” Tatum sat up in bed and pulled Leighton up too. 

“Manny Alexei already started the coffee and Nanny Olga is making breakfast.” Hutton explained. 

“Alright. Let’s go see what Santa brought.” 

Soon the family was gathered around the 20 foot tree, Leighton and Tatum curled up on the loveseat watching the kids tear open the mountain of presents. 

So far Hutton had a new snowboard, skateboard and bike. 

Sabine had a new Barbie dream house and about ten new dolls. 

Ward had a new chemistry set and some nerd toys as Tatum called them. 

Both boys had about six new lego sets each. 

Later after a big breakfast, Tatum was at the table with the boys as they tried to put together Wimbledon stadium, every few minutes the boys asking Tatum about how cool it was to play there and Tatum trying not to turn it into a rant about how she could have been better than either William sister if she hadn’t shattered her knee or ankle when she slipped on the stairs running to see what Leighton was screaming about (spoiler it was the positive pregnancy test). Tatum didn’t blame the twins for that, she did blame their former maid since the reason she slipped was half due to the freshly mopped floor, but still. If she had to pick between her pro tennis career and having their twins, she’d pick the twins. 

She had her engineering degree to fall back on, that was something that George had forced on her, wanting her to follow in his footsteps, which she did, she was working at his firm.

Leighton was on the couch with Sabine watching the latest adventure of this Russian troll named Booba that the toddler was obsessed with. 

“Mommy! Mommy! Booba funny!” Sabine laughed and pointed at the screen. 

“Yeah, he sure is.” Leighton personally would be happy to never see this creature again in her life. 

Leighton was toying with the new necklace Tatum got her. It was gold, with a locket and instead the locket was the kids’ birthstones while the back had Tatum and Leighton’s birthstones and the date of their anniversary. Inside the locket was room for more stones which Tatum pointed out. In case in the future they wanted to add more. 

With Sabine cuddled on her chest, she couldn’t help but think about how great it would be for another newborn. The smell of a new baby. The tiny fingers that grip onto you for dear life. 

Sure Leighton hated the weight gain, the back pain, the terrible nausea that came from the pregnancy, but in the end it was worth it, plus maybe she could convince Tatum to take a turn. 

Leighton let out a small huff. Now she really wanted a baby. 

…

Sabine was down for her nap and the twins were playing with their news while being watched by Nanny Olga and Manny Alexei. 

Leighton and Tatum were supposed to be getting ready for Christmas dinner, instead Leighton had Tatum on her back on the bed while she walked the thin line of nipping at her wife’s neck, without leaving visible marks. 

“I’ve been thinking…” Leighton started, causing Tatum to laugh. 

“Let me guess, you want to have another baby?”

“I know we talked about Sabine being our last but-”

“But you thought about it when I pointed out that there was room in the locket? That was my hope. I figured if I planted the seed, it might take root. Not this soon-”

“I’d get it if you wanted to carry this one.” 

“And have to buy new shoes, and new clothes and know they my body will never be the same? I already had to get new shoes after my ankle surgery, I am not doing that again. This one is all yours, but if you don’t to, we could always hire a surrogate. Kimberly would probably agree to it, she always seems to need money.”

“I don’t think she’d go ten months without drinking. Whitney might, and it could be fun to see the doctor’s reaction when the palest, whitest of white kid pops out-but I think we should just go through a service, some place that screen them, but how can we make sure that they aren’t doing anything weird? Like I don’t like the idea of our baby just trying to grow and suddenly some asshole’s penis’ is poking it.” 

“Okay, first of all, there is no man on earth that could possibly poke a baby with his dick in the womb. Second if you want to control the pregnancy completely, I think you might have to carry it yourself.” Tatum explained. 

…

“We had our Christmas in the city this year, last year we had it in St. Barts’ and next year we’ll have it in Switzerland-” George started his toast only for Tatum to interrupt. 

“Next year it's Leight and I’s turn to pick and we already promised the kids we’ll have Christmas in Disney World.” She explained. “We already our suite reserved at the Four Seasons. They are holding rooms for all of us, but you do not need to come. We are not forcing you. But if you want to spend it with Hutton, Ward and Sabine, you’ll need to go with us.” 

“I wanna spend Christmas with Elsa!” Ward explained excitedly. “Her dresses are so pretty!” 

“Well, next year it’s Christmas with Elsa and her pretty dresses. You don’t want to wear her dresses do you bud?” George asked only for Tatum and Leighton to glare at him. 

“Dad.” Tatum hissed. 

“What?”

“I don’t want to wear Elsa’s dresses. I don’t have the coloring for it.” Ward explained. “It’s for a lighter skin tone.” He explained. “Elsa’s a winter, I’m more of a spring.” 

“That’s right baby.” Leighton did think maybe she didn’t need to explain her routine in so many details to him whenever he wanted to watch her get ready for work. 

“That is a very cool fact, Tiny Tim Gunn.” Nico winked at him. 

The rest of dinner went as normal as any family dinner could go. Sabine wants to get up on Leighton’s lap, which Leighton allowed only for Mimi to criticise Leighton’s parenting about how she was spoiling Sabine. 

Hutton and Nico started playing catch with a balled up napkin and Hutton didn’t get why Tatum was telling him to stop when no one was telling Nico to stop. Leighton threatened to take him straight home and they’d be living his gifts there. 

That threat got him to behave. 

Tatum was the only one still awake by the time the town car pulled up in front of their place. 

Leighton never made through a family dinner without getting drunk, the more dinners they attended the drunker she seemed to get. 

Tatum smiled down and pressed a kiss to the top of her wife’s head. “Best Christmas.” She laughed.

Chapter Text

Whitney had Leighton sat down in front of her, wine glasses between them. They were in Whitney’s apartment discussing wedding plans and events. 

Unlike Leighton and Alicia, who made a point not to label their wedding party members, Whitney decided to label Leighton as her Matron of Honor (which Leighton still claimed made her sound like some grandmother and insisted on using the term maid even though Kimberly kept pointing out it was only for unmarried women) with Willow, Bela, and Kimberly as the Bridesmaids. 

“I don’t know how you and Alicia did everything without a planner.” Whitney mused going over the binder of info that the planner updated every day for Whitney to approve. 

“We had a small ceremony, and the reception was at the club which took care of the fine details. We just had to make a choice on what we wanted. It was barely anything. But it was what we wanted. Alicia didn’t want a big fuss and all my important were there so who cares about anyone else. Then again, neither of our moms are on track to running for vice president.” 

“That is the hard thing. It feels like only ten percent of our guests are ours. Everyone else is mom’s.” Whitney admitted. 

“That was another reason we did our ceremony so small. If it was a big event, my parents would invite like five hundred people. Just remember it’s never too late to say fuck it and elope. You can have the big fancy wedding for your mom’s people after.” 

Whitney just hummed as she considered it.

“Main reason I wanted to talk to you, the father daughter dance. Now, before you say anything about the song choice, you need to remember what song you had me sing at your wedding for your father daughter dance.” Whitney stressed. 

“You mean the song you spent months making jokes about daily to me and even just last week sent me a cringe tiktok about father daughter wedding songs that were cringe and its you.”

“Okay, but in fairness, it was the Essex Fight Song. I know how much that school meant to your family, but it’s fucking funny.” 

 “What song do you want me to sing?” Leighton decided to cut right to the chase. 

“I want you to sing the theme song to The Proud Family.”

“What? Am I allowed to?” 

“I mean, if I could get Destiny’s Child and Solange to sing it instead I would but, no response. So you’ll have to do.” Whitney explained. “Just like how Essex is this special thing with you and your dad, The Proud Family is something between my dad and I. He bought me the dvds and everything. We’d watch it together.”

“Fine. It’s your wedding. I’ll do it, and unlike you, I won’t even mock you afterwards for it.”

“Ivy still good to be my flower girl?” 

“So long as I get approval on her dress, yes. I like Canaan but I heard him talk about light up dresses and you’re not putting that on my daughter it’s child abuse.” 

Whitney just laughed. “Trust me, there will be no light up dresses.” 

“Okay, so with that settled, your bachelorette party. You’re sure you don’t want to go all out?” 

“Like you would be able to spend one night, let alone two, without seeing Ivy or Alicia.”

“Fair point, I don’t like being away from my family. I’m already dreading the thoughts of Ivy going off to college.” Leighton groaned leaning back in her chair looking up in pure despair at the thought. 

“She’s three calm the fuck down.” Whitney laughed. “Just the spa day is fine. It’s not like any of us can drink without getting a giant hang over anymore.” 

“God, if I had three drinks I’m feeling like shit for a week. It’s ridiculous.” 

“I know. We used to be able to play soccer, and win, hung over. Now, just the thought of it makes me sick. So the wedding is 3 days. Day 1: joint relaxing day at the lake house. Day 2: rehearsal dinner. Day 3: Wedding at the church and reception at the four seasons ball room. That’s not asking too much is it?”

“Of your closest friends and family? No, no it’s not too much.” Leighton reassured her. “It’s just three days. Alicia and I went to a wedding where it was a three week long event and we were asked to give blood offerings.”

“Ginger?”

“Yeah.” 

Chapter Text

Being roommates with Leighton Murray exposed Bela to a lot of things. Most of them were high class and expensive ways to prevent aging (even at 18 there were steps an upper class young woman needed to do to protect herself from the danger of aging). 

What she didn’t expect to be exposed to, was the image of Leighton and Tatum squeezed in the small single bed, laptop resting on top of the mini fridge that served as a nightstand loudly playing the sounds from a porno. 

“Um…what the fuck?” Bela questioned seeing the pair above the covers and fully clothed. 

“Okay, this seems weird, but come here.” Leighton gestured for Bela to sit on the bed. 

“I was explaining to Leight about how my ex was obsessed with a certain porno that was so stupid.” Tatum started. 

“So we had to watch it. The plot makes no sense. See they’re snowboarders, but we have no idea the level of skill, like are they olympic level or just slightly above average? No idea, and the brunette, she’s pissed because she thinks the blonde is fucking the coach to get better times or something, I don’t know how competive snowboarding could be fixed by a coach and it doesn’t attempt to explain it at all, so she’s blackmailing the blonde into showing her what she does to the coach, by having her to do it to her while she’s wearing that strap on. It feels like the brunette is jealous that she’s not fucking the coach. Maybe…”

“It makes no sense.” Tatum stressed. “Plus look at their nails, no wonder there’s nothing going on that doesn’t involve the strap on.”

“Okay, what happened to the tank top? One second she’s wearing a tank top, next shot it’s gone. Fine. But now she’s in a jacket…” Leighton complained.

Bela just looked at the couple. “Are you joking? No one else noticed this shit because they’re too busy focusing on the sex. Why are you two analyzing it like it’s an art film for a film studies class? Is it not turning you on?” 

“God no!” Leighton sounded so disgusted. “This is just shitty acting and over the top sounds. Like there is a reason the best films implement show don’t tell, when it comes to emotions.” 

“So, does the brunette want to fuck the coach because she just said that the blonde is lucky she has a good mouth…why doesn’t she just fuck the coach? If he’d fuck one of them, he’d fuck all of them.” Tatum rested her chin on Leighton’s shoulder as she peered at the screen. 

“How could she even notice though because the only place her mouth has been has been on the strap on. And why don’t they have names? Like how am I meant to be invested in this if they don’t have names?” 

“Wow, you two ruined porn for me.” Bela sighed. 

The video ended and started to auto play the next one. 

“See this one at least has a plot. Lacey is in trouble with her step mom Candy and is going to eat her way out of it.” Tatum pointed out. 

“Look at Candy’s nails. Blunt. It’s nice to see some realism.” 

“Realism? It’s a step mom getting fucked by her step daughter.” Bela shook her head. 

“I know for a fact that’s happened.” Tatum pointed out. 

“Yeah? You fuck Linda?” Leighton laughed. 

“God no, she’s an idiot with more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers. Not to mention her horrible voice. Leave it to my father to knock up some trailer trash from Arkansas.”

“Because that’s why you shouldn’t fuck your step mom.” Bela rolled her eyes. 

“I thought they got married four years ago.” 

“They did.”

“But you don’t have sibling…”

“Nope. She claims it was a miscarriage, I still think she lied about it to get a ring. I don’t care how many sonogram pictures she has they can be faked.” 

“I don’t know why your therapist thinks you’re holding a grudge about their marriage.” Leighton laughed. 

Tatum lightly smacked Leighton’s hip. “I don’t have a grudge. I have an issue with some whore using my father for his money.” 

“God you two are libido killers.” Bela groaned. 

“Yeah? So if I ask if you wanted to join you’d say no?” Tatum teased her hand slipping in the waistband of Leighton’s pants. 

Bela’s mouth dropped as if she was hesitating. 

Leighton didn’t wait for an answer instead she smacked Tatum’s hand away from her. 

“Not an offer. Sorry Bela but you’re not on my acceptable list of thirds.” Leighton stressed. “And for that, you owe me a nice dinner.” Leighton pointed glared at Tatum. 

“Sure. Come on, we can stop by this boutique vintage place on the way. The owner uses it as a way to avoid import fees from France.” 

“Seriously? I put up with you two ruining porn for me and I get nothing?”

“Yeah, fair point.” Leighton opened up Venmo and soon Bela’s phone dinged. “That seems like a fair amount.”

Bela checked her phone and nodded. “Have fun on your date.” 

“Don’t wait up, I’m not coming back here tonight.” 

“You’re not wearing my clothes again so if you don’t want to do the walk of shame I’d pack a bag.” Tatum warned. 

“Your two year old Chanel jacket was lucky to be on this body.”

Chapter Text

Leighton could kill Tatum. 

How she talked her into a lake trip with their dads was beyond her. 

So far Leighton has caught her sweater on fire, been bitten by roughly five hundred bugs, stung by two winged assholes, and now sprained her ankle. 

She was not meant for this wilderness bullshit. She needed the concrete jungle of the city.  

 She was on the couch in the lake house, her foot elevated on the coffee table. 

She was alone. She was injured and alone while her girlfriend hiked with their dads. 

She couldn’t even scroll on her phone since it was an off the grid type vacation. 

Their fathers insisting on it being a self-reliant lesson thanks to the death of one of their frat brothers passing away and his son running his company into the ground. 

Though what fishing for your own food had to do with running a Fortune 500 company, she had no idea.

Leighton was thinking of all the ways she would demand her father make up for this nightmare to her, and also what her girlfriend could do for her as well. 

She was reading one of the only novels not written by James Paterson in the house. It was The Fountainhead but still, better than stewing in her own misery. 

She was so lost in the novel she didn’t hear the door open or someone come up to her in the sitting room until she felt the couch react to someone’s body. 

“Really Leighton? I know there are better books around here somewhere.” Tatum tisked making it very clear how much she was judging her. 

“Not close by and I am not hopping all over this place to find the novelization of Sex and the City.” 

“Jokes on you, it’s the complete series of Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars.” Tatum deadpanned before she moved the ice on Leighton’s ankle to see how it was. “You haven’t been alternating it have you?” 

“No.” 

Tatum rolled her eyes before moving the ice off entirely and setting it on the floor. 

“Do you want me to go get one of my books? Or would you rather I go to my car and get you the magazines?” 

“Both? And can you get me some pillows? And blankets?” 

“Sure.” Tatum pressed a kiss to Leighton’s cheek. “You just rest up. It’s hard work sitting on your ass.” 

“Hey! This is your fault. I wanted us to go to the Hamptons. But no, you had to come to the lake, with our dads.” 

“There is no point in me going to the Hamptons when I can just stay in Oyster Bay.” 

“See, this is why you shouldn’t live in Long Island.” 

“Okay. I’ll keep that in mind next summer when you’re stuck in the city but want to swim.” 

“Just you wait until the old lady next door finally dies and we buy her place to expand ours. I’ll get my pool then.” 

“An indoor pool…” 

“You have an indoor pool.”

“We don’t count that as a pool, it’s just a lap one.” Tatum shook her head at Leighton before heading up stairs to get the requested items. It wasn’t until Tatum had the pillow in her hand that it occurred to her there was a much better solution. 

Where Leighton currently was in the living room, she had to go a nice distance to the bathroom, but if Tatum carried her up to her room, she only had to hop a very short distance for the bathroom. 

She left the items on the bed and went to bring her idea up to Leighton. 

“So, I had a thought. Instead of being stuck on the couch and struggling to get to the bathroom, how about I carry you up to my bed, and you can rest there? When it’s time to eat, I’ll carry you down, or bring the food to you, whatever you’re in the mood for.” Tatum offered sitting down on the couch next to Leighton. “More privacy.” 

“Okay. Let’s go.” Leighton moved to get up only for Tatum to push her back down. 

“I said I’d carry you, I’m carrying you.” Tatum slid an arm under Leighton’s knees and moved the other just under her arms. Leighton wrapped her arms tightly around Tatum’s neck. 

“You sure you can fully carry me?” 

“Are you kidding me? Leight, I do weight training for tennis, I can lift you no problem.” Tatum even flexed a bit as if to prove her point. “I won’t drop you.” 

Leighton had to admit being carried was fucking hot. She made a note for this to happen more, just without being injured. 

Tatum gently laid Leighton on the bed, making sure to grab some throw pillows from the nearby loveseat so Leighton could keep her foot elevated. 

“Okay, that was hotter than I expected and I can easily get used to you carrying me around everywhere.” Leighton grinned, pulling Tatum down to join her on the bed. 

“Well, I already knew you were a passenger princess, of course you’d want to be carried around.” Tatum joked. Her hands going to Leighton’s waist. “Think your ankle can handle it though? Just last week you ended up getting a bad cramp in your leg because I’m so good at giving head.” Tatum teased. 

“That was more from the hangover and lack of water. It’ll be fine and if it isn’t, it’s worth it.” Leighton was already trying to get Tatum’s shirt off. 

Tatum just smirked down at her. “Fine, it has been too long since I rode your face.”

…

Leighton was cuddled into Tatum listening to her tell some story about the last time she threw a party at the lake house. It was back in her senior year of high school. 

“So Jasmine got the idea to dare Alison to climb up the tree and jump off the tallest branch into the lake. If I was less drunk, I would’ve pointed out that it was a bad idea, but my drunk ass thought it would be funny as fuck since she’d have to jump like twenty feet to get like out of the shallows of the lake’s edge. Like the dock is 40 feet because of it. So Alison goes to climb the tree. She’s drunk as fuck, she can’t get up the second branch. Which probably saved her life.” Tatum laughed at the memory. “Of course, that night Alison also thought it was a good idea to get on the roof. She fell out that window.” Tatum pointed to the bedroom window. “Hot as hell, but it’s insane that she survived childhood.” 

“No wonder George wants you to find some nice smart girl. Too bad you’re stuck with my damaged ass.” 

“That’d be funny if our dads weren’t literally planning our wedding.” Tatum laughed. “I shouldn’t have called you damaged.”

“I know, you’re the one who thought it was still a good idea to date someone who straight up lied to your face for hours. It’s reflects worse on you.” Leighton pointed out to her. 

“It does. How do you put up to me?”

“What can I say? I’m only with you because you’re hot.” Leighton teased. “Get back over here.” 

…

Leighton stared at the massive bucket of dead fish. 

“So what are you planning on doing with these?” Leighton looked to her dad for his answer. 

“It’s dinner. We’re going to cook them.” 

“Do you know how to filet them and scale them because I’m not eating a fish that still looks like a fish.” Leighton pointed out. “Can’t we just order something?” 

“We can’t order something if the grid goes down. You need to learn how to do it.”

“That’s what you said about driving and I never had to do that.” 

“Any day now the liberals could cause a civil war and we need to be prepared for their slogan of eat the rich to be taken literal.” Henry had been listening to a new podcast lately and was convinced that the end times were coming. 

“I’m not eating that unless it’s in a sushi roll.” Tatum pointed out. “I told you that last time.”

“And like I told you last time, you’re more than welcome to make your own sushi, when you can forage your own rice and seaweed to go with it.” George reminded her. 

“I can’t believe I came down here for this.” Leighton grumbled. 

“I can’t believe I carried you down for this.” Tatum grumbled with her. 

“Is there seriously not anything else to eat?” Leighton whined. 

“Did you catch, kill, or find anything else to eat?” Henry raised an eyebrow at Leighton. 

“No, but I’m injured. Really, I should be in Urgent Care. What if it’s broken?”

“It’s not broken, if it was you’d know.” Tatum pointed out with a tone that suggested she mentioned that before.

“You’re not a doctor. It’s purple. It shouldn’t be purple.” Leighton carefully lifted up her leg to show it off. 

“It wasn’t that color when I carried you down.” Tatum eyed it. 

“George, go start the car.” Henry ordered as he made his way to Leighton’s side to pick her up. “It’s okay baby, Daddy’ll make this all better.” 

Tatum met Leighton’s eye and raised an eyebrow at her. God did she want to make fun of her girlfriend’s father right now. 

…

George was driving towards the city, Leighton in a cast in the backseat, practically lying on Tatum. Henry was in the passenger seat, texting with Mimi and ordering things for Leighton on his phone, guilt ridden about not taking her to urgent care right away. 

“You’re not going to let this go are you?” Tatum whispered into Leighton’s ear. 

“Nope.” 

“What was that Birkin bag you wanted but your mother said no to?” Henry shamelessly asked. 

“Why would she say no?” Tatum who had grown up without any real involvement from her mother who was either dead or in Japan, Tatum wasn’t sure. Her grandfather once when drunk, told her her mother ran off to Thailand to be a dyke and fuck lady boys, but he was a racist homophobic asshole who never liked her so he wasn’t a reliable source. Her dad has taken to a grave, but she wouldn’t put it past her father to buy a tombstone for a wife that left them so Tatum didn’t feel abandoned. 

“She doesn’t think it’s right for her daughter to have more Birkin bags than her. So I’m not suppose to get another one until Dad buys her five.” 

“She sounds unreasonable.” 

“She has moments.” Leighton shrugged, sure her and her mother’s relationship had improved by leaps and bounds but Mimi had venom that needed out and unfortunately Leighton was the only target around for it. Thus the birthday gift of botox sessions for her 20th birthday. Tatum made a mental note of what to get Leighton for her birthday. 

“Tatum, are you decided on a grad school?” Henry asked, turning around in his seat to better look at them. It seemed he wanted to change the topic from Leighton’s broken ankle to Tatum’s future. 

“Columbia.” 

“You might as well live with us.” Henry pointed out. “Tatum, you don’t want to drive to Long Island every day.” 

“Take that offer Tate, save me the four grand in rent.” 

“Thank you for the offer Henry, but I already have been looking at condos. It’d be better if I had this one out of Boston.”

“Not my fault Essex’s math department is shitty.” 

“When your mom asks what happened, what do you plan to say happened?” Henry seemed nervous. 

“That you made me go out in the wilderness and I broke my ankle. That the doctor said if it doesn’t heal like they want, they might have to rebreak it, add in rods which’ll mean I won’t be able to fit in my current shoe size and I’ll have a bulky ankle which Mom will take as a personal attack on her.” Leighton explained.

“That’s true. Oh God…Leighton, you need to tell her it wasn’t my fault. It was no one’s fault but a beaver or whatever animal made that hole. I’ll pay for you to have your own condo or house in September.” Henry was always good for a bribe. 

“Deal.”

Chapter Text

Leighton didn’t know that her halloweens growing up was not the normal way for other kids. 

She had the costumes. 

She went to the country club and played games with other kids. 

As a teen she went to the parties, then the clubs. 

What she never did was trick or treat. She thought that was something just from the movies. Growing up on the upper east side she saw a lot of things that were just from the movies. 

So how was she to know that come halloween time she would need candy. 

Tatum was no better. 

When the first little kid knocked on their apartment door, their mom behind them, Leighton just stood there. Sure she thought the kid looked cute, a little Regina George with her own Burn Book. But why were they knocking on her door?

“Yeah?” Leighton looked at the mom, as if expecting the woman to start asking if she saw a lost pet. The little girl held open a bag. 

“Trick or Treat!”

Leighton just blinked at her. “Wait, kids actually do this? Shit-fuck can’t swear in front of kids-hang on.” Leighton went to the kitchen and grabbed a few things. “I have coconut water? No? Protein chips? Kale crackers? We don’t eat for enjoyment in this house. Oh wait, you got venmo?” Leighton pulled out her phone. 

When Tatum came home she saw the building door was held open by a long line of kids. 

“What the fuck?” She squeezed in only for a small grubby and sticky hand to grab her arm. 

“Hey no cuts! Not even for old ladies!” The clearly sightly challenged child sneered through his Iron Man mask. 

She ignored him and wished she was coming back from tennis practice so she could have a racket to swat the kids away with. 

Soon she spotted some teens in the line and figured they would give her the best answer since they would respect her style. 

“So what is this line about?”

“Some snack didn’t buy candy so she’s venmoing people like fifty bucks.” A future frat boy explained. “I’d rather something else sweet.” He showed Tatum a picture of an annoyed and frazzled Leighton. 

Tatum took his phone and smashed it on the nearest wall. “Looks like you’re going to need to use your school mandated chromebook to jerk off to tonight. ”        

Tatum pushed her way through the line of kids until she finally got to her home where she pushed the next kid out of the way before shutting and locking the door behind her. 

“Leight, babe, stop venmoing kids. The line is literally down the block.” Tatum searched around for a pen and a post it note before finally finding it. She wrote down out of candy fuck off and with the chain still on the door, opened it just enough to stick the post it on the door before slamming it shut again. 

“I didn’t have anything else to give them. They didn’t like our snacks. I didn’t know kids actually went door to door. Did you?”

“No. But I wouldn’t have venmo’d people, just tell them too bad and shut the door then ignore the rest. Can’t believe you made Trick or Treat but for bums.” 

Leighton thought about it for a second. “I guess, but wouldn’t like Trick or Treating be a whole thing teaching kids to get hand outs?” 

“Careful Leight, might be watching too much Fox News.” Tatum teased. “Can’t compare candy and venmo.” 

Before Leighton could defend herself and swear she didn’t mean it like that, someone, or most likely a group of someone’s started to bang and kick the door yelling at them to open up. 

“Kids are fucking feral. I’m calling security.” Leighton went to the panel in the wall only for Tatum to stop her. 

“They have the building’s door open from the massive line that formed. I don’t think security cares. But you can try. I’m just going to go get the gun.” 

“Tatum, you can’t just shoot kids.” 

“I’m not going to shoot them, unless they get past the door. I’m just preparing in case.” 

“We don’t need to use the gun. We literally have a panic room.” At the time of the panic room’s inclusion, both Leighton and Tatum thought it was too much but their father’s having heard of how dangerous some major liberal cities were and how it seemed all races and religions (they were very clear to include all) were raping and killing beautiful young white women. Now however Leighton liked the idea of having a room they could lock themselves in and know that even a RPG couldn’t penetrate it. Plus it was so nice, it had a bedroom, living room, kitchenette and full bathroom. It was also fully stocked regularly with food. (Their fathers were convinced that a COVID thing was due to happen again and wanted them to be able to stay in the panic room for at least a month). 

“You call security, I’ll go take the shit we care about and move it to the panic room.” Leighton rolled her eyes at Tatum before picking up their laptops, chargers, phones, purses and most of their jewellery and a few favorite shoes. 

When it sounded like the apartment door might be getting close to breaking, and security said that they were make their way up but other tenants were also having issues and they only have 5 guards so it could be a bit. However they encouraged them to call the police.

So they did. 

Now they were in the panic room, (the door made a crack sound and they were not chancing it giving out) as Tatum was on the phone with the police explaining the hoard of kids/teens expecting venmo for trick or treating. 

Dispatch asked if they were stupid as fuck and Tatum while staring at Leighton went well my girlfriend just might be. Now they just had to wait for the police to come. 

Leighton was keeping an eye on the cameras in the apartment and watched as the door finally gave in and people started to take their shit. 

“I feel like we’re in the purge.” 

“We might as well be, only you won’t let me fight back.” Tatum huffed. 

“Why do you want to shoot some kid so much?” 

“I’m just not used to hiding. I’m a fighter.” Tatum shrugged. “I confront, plus it’s not like they’re little kids. These are adults and almost adults who broke into our home and have gone feral.” Tatum pointed out the screen showing one of the cameras. “That is a group of fucking parents. I should be allowed to shoot their asses. The ones in Crocs and socks at least for that reason alone.”

“Okay, that’s fair, next time this happens you can do that. We’re not opening that door until our apartment is empty.” 

…

That took two hours. They gave the police their camera footage, and a list of items that they noticed were missing that were not seen on the cameras easily. 

They packed two weeks of clothes and Tatum texted her dad to find them a new place to live. 

Who knew that kids in Vermont could be so insane. 

Leighton wondered why the fuck she didn’t just agree to pre-game with Bela, Whitney and Kimberly. Why did she decide to say fuck it to any parties and have a quiet date night with Tatum with scary movies, drinks and sex, three things that didn’t even happen.

Chapter Text

Alicia was impressed with how much Ivy was just a mini half Asian, Leighton. 

From the odd reaction to watching her shows. 

“What the fuck are you doing Bluey!”

The sight of the little five year old, in her own little plush chair watching as Bluey did something crazy, her spill proof cup of water on her side and a toy laptop balanced on her other side, and glasses with no lens on her face. Not far away, in her own plush chair, Leighton had a tall travel tumbler of water (or alcohol it was 50/50 chance), her laptop balanced on an arm rest and her glasses on as she worked while occasionally glancing up at the screen and Ivy while adding her own commentary. 

“Stand up for yourself Bingo! Don’t be such a fucking doormat.” 

Their hair was in the same updo and if it wasn’t for the fact that Ivy’s hair was darker, and her skin more tan than the pale white, you could pass Ivy off as Leighton when she was that age. Alicia saw the baby photos and even she could swear they were clones. 

Alicia sighed as she leaned on the doorway. “Ivy, what did we say about using that word?” 

“Sorry Mama.” 

“Wait, what word did she say?” Leighton looked up at Alicia so confused. 

“The same word you used babe.”

“Wait, what word did I use?” 

“F.”

“Oh. Fuck. Sorry.” 

The possessiveness. 

Alicia was used to the koala like sleeping tendencies of Leighton. Both arms clinging to her, a leg hooked over her. The only thing/person allowed to get between them was Ivy. 

Ivy, was the same way. Depending on her mood she either wanted both her moms, or only one. 

Currently the three year old wanted nothing to do with Leighton. 

She crawled into their bed, shoved Leighton as hard as she could away, using all her little might. 

“Mommy go away!” The small child whined trying her hardest to push her mother off the bed. “My Mama.” Ivy got Leighton off Alicia enough to comfortably cuddle into Alicia in her place. 

“Ivy, can mommy cuddle with us too?” Alicia asked trying to reason with the toddler. 

“No!” 

Leighton rolled her eyes. “Fine. I guess I’ll just go to work and pay for this roof that you keeps you warm and safe and food so you don’t go hungry.” Leighton muttered. 

“Hey!” 

“Don’t hey me. You work for a non-profit. That place is lucky to afford a cardboard box, let alone a building. They practically only pay you in good deeds.” 

…

Leighton was amazed how Ivy was a mini Alicia. 

How Ivy regularly got in trouble in pre-school for complaining about the male gaze in Curious George or how Thomas the Train was really about colonially. 

When the teacher demanded an apology from Ivy about her interruptions, Leighton just asked if the teacher could prove Ivy’s point wrong, because Ivy could back up her theories.

The best of course was when Ivy questioned why some people, like them had multiple homes, but others had none and why couldn’t they help them get houses? 

Leighton groaned about having two of them now guilting her and promised to make sure in their many apartment buildings they would help by giving very cheap rent to low income people. 

Ivy also got in trouble in school by calling the headmistress a fascist and to ‘quote her bitch’. 

Alicia had a talk with Leighton about not using their past as bedtime stories, and Leighton made her promise not to make work calls in front of Ivy anymore.