Archive of Our Own

Jean watched the numbers countdown on the wall beside the elevator. He didn’t much care for Elevators, but he’d spent the last three days hauling furniture up the stairs and was sure his legs would simply collapse if he climbed them one more time. He was sure Neil could run them a dozen more times and not even break a sweat.

Speaking of his roommate. He pressed the elevator button in rapid succession as if it would make the giant metal box move faster.

“That’s not going to help,” Jean said with a roll of his eyes.

Neil grinned when the doors finally opened as if he were the cause.

They stepped into the elevator and were joined by two blondes. One much shorter than the other. The taller one shot Jean a wide smile. “Which floor?”

“Three,” Jean answered, his eyes meeting chocolate brown ones.

“Hey, same as us.” The man beamed, dimples digging deep into his cheeks. He was practically a ray of sunshine. “Haven’t seen you around before.”

“We just moved in.”

“Oh! You must be our new neighbors then. I’m Jeremy. This is Andrew.” He motioned to the shorter blonde. Jean barely gave him a passing glance.

“Jean. This is Neil.” He gestured to where Neil was practically bouncing in place as the elevator climbed at a snail's pace.

“Ooh, French name.” His eyes dropped to the bag of Thai food in Jean’s hand. “Oh, if you want a really good Thai place, there’s one a few blocks down that is better than anything else around.”

“That place isn’t bad,” Andrew spoke for the first time, glancing at the bag in his hand before skipping over Jean and landing on Neil.

Jean noticed the subtle scan before he turned back to the door.

“Yeah, it’s not bad. But Kannika’s is way better.”

“I’m sure they don’t care about your culinary preferences, Jeremy.” Andrew looked bored of the conversation.

“I am interested. We’re always looking for good places to eat.” Jean objected. He was perhaps exaggerating. He was much too picky for most people. But he was enjoying talking to Jeremy.

Neil snorted a laugh, earning a curious glance from Andrew.

The doors opened and they all filed into the hall.

“Are you guys from around here?” Jeremy asked as they walked down the hall.

“Not here specifically. We moved to California for school. It’s how we met. We’re new to this town, though. What about you two?”

Jean could feel Neil roll his eyes. He hated small talk.

“We’re both born and raised in Cali. Met a few years ago.” Jeremy nudged Andrew’s shoulder playfully, earning him an unimpressed look in return.

They reached their apartments, and Jean hesitated. “It was… nice to meet you both.”

Neither Neil nor Andrew responded, slipping into their respective apartments and leaving Jean and Jeremy in the hall.

“You too. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again,” Jeremy hadn’t stopped smiling the entire time. It made Jean wonder if his cheeks grew tired.

Neil was setting out paper plates when Jean set the food on the counter.

“They seem nice.” He was sure Neil couldn’t care less, but Jeremy was interesting. to Jean at least.

“Better than our last neighbor.”

Jean huffed a laugh. Their last neighbor had been an older lady who cornered Neil any chance she got, trying to set him up with her granddaughter.

“You’re not subtle by the way,” Neil said, dishing out noodles onto their plates.

“What do you mean?”

“You were practically undressing Jeremy with your eyes.”

Jean stiffened. “I was not.” How was it Neil noticed that, but not when someone was directly hitting on him?

“We’ve been friends for years. I know you. And he’s totally your type. Talkative, lithe, smiley.” Neil wore a teasing smirk.

“Do you think he and Andrew are together?”

Neil shrugged. “Bit of a height difference.”

“So?”

“I don’t think they’re together.”

“Well, they aren’t related.” Jean pointed out.

“Could just be friends.” Neil shrugged.

Jean sighed. “Just because you don’t find people attractive doesn’t mean they aren’t. Jeremy is stunning. Andrew would be an idiot to not be dating him.”

Neil looked like he was considering it. “Maybe we aren’t the best judges, though. What is it Dan always says? We don’t notice social cues?”

Jean laughed. Perhaps he could flirt with Jeremy and find out.

—

Neil dropped the last empty box by the door and turned to where Allison was serving pizza. He hated moving. He never got used to having more than a duffel bag’s worth of things. Despite it being years.

“Cheese or pepperoni, Neil?”

“Cheese.”

Allison handed him a plate just as the door opened, slamming into the pile of boxes.

Jean closed the door and shot Neil a glare. “I told you to stop piling them up right in front of the door.”

“But then I don’t get to see that pensive scowl of yours. Would you really deny me the highlight of my day?” Neil quipped.

Jean rolled his eyes, kicking the boxes out of his way. “I ran into our neighbors again in the lobby. Jeremy says hi.”

“Neighbors?” Matt asked.

“Andrew and Jeremy. Jean has a thing for Jeremy,” Neil explained.

“You would understand if you saw him,” Jean said.

“Why don’t we invite them over. I bought too much pizza.” Allison offered.

“Why?” Jean and Neil both asked in unison.

Dan held back a giggle as Allison rolled her eyes and stood. “It’s called being nice. Come on,” she grabbed Neil’s wrist and tugged him after her.

“Wait, why am I going?”

“Because I’m not their neighbor. It would be weird if you weren’t there.”

“It’s weird anyway,” Neil mumbled as she knocked on the door.

Jeremy answered. “Yes?— Oh, Neil, right?”

“Hey, I’m Allison, friend of Neil and Jean’s. I ordered way too much pizza, and you two were the only people they’ve met in the building. Would you be interested in helping us eat the pizza?”

“Oh, that’s so nice. Andrew and I were just discussing dinner.”

Neil saw the shorter blonde come up behind Jeremy. He looked uninterested.

“Perfect,” Allison spun, not waiting for confirmation.

“You sure you don’t mind?” Jeremy asked Neil.

“I find it’s best not to argue with her.” he shrugged and gestured to his door.

Jeremy grabbed at Andrew’s sleeve and tugged him along.

When they entered the apartment. Dan immediately started introductions. Andrew didn’t say anything, leaving Jeremy to speak on their behalf.

Neil watched Jean, noting how his eyes scanned Jeremy. He didn’t know what was so special about him. He was tall, though not as tall as Jean. He had box died blonde hair and plain brown eyes. Frankly, he looked like any other guy.

Neil focused on eating rather than participating in the menial task of small talk. He sat at the bar next to Andrew in silence.

Andrew glanced at him as if expecting him to say something.

“Neil, stop being so anti-social,” Allison huffed, poking him in the temple as she walked by. She pulled cans of Coke from the fridge and passed one to Neil and Andrew.

“I don’t have anything to add to the conversation.”

“Do you even know what the conversation is about?”

“Jeremy is talking about the gym he works at. I’m listening.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “You could tell him about your coaching position.”

“Why? It doesn’t have anything to do with the conversation.”

Andrew gave a snort which caught Neil’s attention.

“What do you do?” Allison asked him, having pulled her attention as well.

Andrew gave her a blank look. “Nothing.”

She crossed her arms. “Nothing?”

“Andrew is what I like to call a professional trustee. He got a payout at eighteen, so he’s set. It’s why I keep him around.” Jeremy teased.

“Wait, is that Maserati I saw in the parking lot yours?” Matt asked, perking up.

Andrew gave a nod. “Yep.”

“Holy shit, dude. That is so badass.”

Despite not saying anything in return and the bored look on his face, Neil thought Andrew might be amused. Something about the glint in his eyes.

“I make him drive everywhere.” Jeremy laughed.

“I would too.” Matt was practically swooning.

“Down boy,” Dan laughed. “You weren’t even this excited when Jean bought his motorcycle.”

Jeremy perked up this time. “You drive a motorcycle?”

“I do.”

“Of course you do. You’re like the coolest person ever. French, over six feet, and you drive a motorcycle.”

“He cooks too,” Allison offered. “Chef.”

“Wow. Neil, you’re so lucky.”

Neil scoffed. “You don’t live with him.”

“You’re an asshole,” Jean shot in French.

“You’re ego was getting too big. I had to put a stop to it.” Neil responded.

“You’re both fluent in French?” Jeremy gaped.

Andrew groaned. “Jeremy has a thing for foreign languages.”

“Hey, so does Neil. He speaks four,” Matt said.

Andrew and Jeremy’s eyes both fell on him. He took a sip of his Coke and shrugged.

“French, German, Spanish, and Russian,” Matt offered when he didn’t bother to.

“I’m learning Russian. Not fluent yet.”

Andrew tilted his head and asked in perfect German, “Why are you fluent in so many languages?”

Neil couldn’t help but smile. He never got to speak German. He would often talk to himself or rent movies in German to make sure he didn’t lose it. He responded in kind. “I moved a lot as a kid. Spent three years in Austria, Germany, and Switzerland. Also in France and Montreal. Spanish I learned in college because I figured it would be useful. Russian because I like the language and it’s fun to learn. Why do you know German?”

“My cousin lives there. He taught me.”

“That’s wildly unfair,” Jeremy sighed.

Andrew rolled his eyes. “He’s easily impressed.”

“I am not. I’m just surrounded by impressive people,” Jeremy objected. “And you don’t have the patience to teach me German.”

“Jean is a great teacher. He could teach you French,” Allison offered.

Jean shot her a sharp look.

“What? You taught Kevin. And we both know Neil is a shit teacher unless it’s Exy.”

“Rude,” Neil muttered.

“I’d be willing to trade you for lessons, if you’re interested.” Jeremy gave a small smile.

This seemed to pique Andrew’s interest. He quirked a brow and looked between Jean and Jeremy.

“What did you have in mind?” Jean asked.

“A free membership to the gym and maybe some personal training sessions?”

Jean perked up at the offer. Neil knew he would agree. Private time with the guy he was into and a free gym membership? There was no way he declined.

“Deal.”

Jeremy was practically beaming.

When everyone had eaten their fill, Jeremy and Andrew said their goodbyes.

Allison smirked at Jean once they were gone. “You’re practically smitten.”

He sighed. “Jeremy is obviously dating Andrew.”

“Nah,” Neil disagreed. He just didn’t see it.

“I’m inclined to agree with Jean,” Matt said.

“Andrew was so not into Jeremy. There’s no way Mr. Sunshine and Mr. Grumpy are together.” Allison shook her head.

“Sunshine one and grumpy one are like the perfect pairing,” Dan said thoughtfully.

“Let’s bet on it.”

Neil groaned. That was one thing that he had hoped they would grow out of after college. He had been too optimistic.

“Okay,” Matt and Dan agreed.

“Jean, Neil?”

Jean shrugged. He didn’t always participate, but when it interested him, he did. This one obviously interested him.

“I will never understand your obsession with betting,” Neil sighed.

“Oh come on. You really gonna let me take all the winning money?” Allison knew taunting Neil would work. He knew she knew it, and yet he still let her do it.

“Fine. A hundred bucks says they aren’t.”

“You guys have to find out, but no asking. It’s more fun to figure it out.” Dan pointed at him and Jean.

They agreed. Neil didn’t care one way or the other if they were dating. But it could be interesting.

—

Neil got his first opportunity to find out if they were dating only two days later. He leaned his head against the door of his apartment, phone in hand. “This is not happening.” He’d left his keys inside when he left for his run, and Jean had locked the door on his way out.

“Problem?”

Neil jumped and spun to see Andrew.

“I’m locked out.”

Andrew raised a brow.

“Jean was here when I went for my morning run, and now he’s gone and not answering,” Neil sighed, looking down at his silent phone.

“Rough.” Andrew pulled his own keys out.

Neil typed up another text to Jean, begging him to check his messages, when he realized Andrew hadn’t gone inside yet.

He looked up, meeting hazel eyes that almost shone like gold in the hallway’s fluorescent lights.

“You drink coffee?”

Neil’s brows dipped into a confused frown. “Yes?”

Andrew opened his apartment door and gestured inside. “You look like an idiot standing here.”

Neil stepped into the apartment that was set up identically to his and Jean’s. Only much more furnished. He sat on one of the two bar seats while Andrew pulled out two mugs and started the coffee pot.

“Thanks,” Neil said, looking down at his phone again. Still nothing. Where was Jean? He looked around to spot any pictures that might clue him in about whether the pair were dating. There were no pictures of people other than one pinned to the fridge with a magnet. Jeremy and Andrew were in it with two women. Jeremy’s arm was thrown around one of the girls. Andrew stood next to him, looking bored as usual. There was nothing that indicated any kind of relationship.

“How do you like your coffee?” Andrew asked, pulling Neil’s attention from the picture.

“Black is good.”

Andrew paused, a carton of creamer in hand. “Black?”

Neil frowned. “Yeah?” he glanced at the creamer labeled caramel cookie crumble.

Andrew shook his head and poured far too much creamer into one of the mugs. Neil gaped as he then added two teaspoons of sugar to it.

“Do you even taste the coffee?” Neil snorted.

Andrew shot him a glare. “I don’t hate myself enough to drink it black.”

Neil laughed at that.

When the coffee was done, Andrew poured up two mugs and slid one across the counter.

Neil closed his eyes and enjoyed the drink. “This is good.”

“Liar.”

Neil met Andrew’s unimpressed expression. He was strange. Different from Jeremy. Not bubbly or overly talkative. Neil appreciated that.

His phone rang, breaking their eye contact. “Jean, where are you?” he answered.

“I figured you’d be hungry after your run. I got us breakfast.”

“Well, I’m locked out. I didn’t know you were gonna leave. I don’t have my keys.”

Jean laughed. “Are you just standing in the hallway?”

“I was. Andrew took pity on me.”

“Oh, try and find out if he and Jeremy are—“ Neil’s eyes snapped to Andre,w wondering if he could hear.

“Just hurry up.” He interrupted. He hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket.

“Am I gonna be stuck with you for long?” Andrew asked.

Neil’s lips quirked. “No, he’ll be back soon.”

“Good. Can’t have people thinking I take in strays.”

Neil cocked his head. Andrew was interesting to him. He couldn’t put his finger on why.

“What were you doing out so early?” Neil wasn’t good at small talk.

“Gym.”

“Makes sense.” Neil gestured to Andrew’s arms. He looked like he could bench press Jean.

The two drank the rest of their coffee in silence until there was a knock at the door.

Andrew answered. “Come to collect your stray?”

Jean snorted. “Thanks for looking after him for me. I’ll try to keep him on a leash next time.”

“Good luck,” Neil quipped. He set his mug in the sink as he passed. “Thanks for the coffee.”

Andrew only raised his own mug before closing the door.

“How’d that go? Do our neighbors hate us now?”

“How dare you? I’m a delight.” Neil snatched the bakery bag from Jean’s hand.

“You’re a tiny bastard.”

Neil threw a plastic fork at Jean and shoved a cream pastry into his mouth.

“Did you at least find out if he and Jeremy are together?”

Neil shrugged. “It didn’t really come up.”

Jean glared at him. “Did it not come up because you didn’t bring it up?”

“We’re not allowed to ask. I looked for any kind of pictures. There was only one, but there were two girls in it.”

Jean raised a brow. “There’s no way Jeremy is straight.”

“It didn’t look like either of them was with the girls.”

“You didn’t ask who they were?”

Neil shrugged. “No?”

“You’re the worst wingman.”

“Not true. We’re friends with Kevin.”

Jean opened his mouth and then paused. “Fair enough.”

—

It was another two days before they saw or heard from either Jeremy or Andrew again.

Neil closed the front door behind him with a teasing grin on his face. It was bright red from his run. “I have good news for you.”

Jean did not trust Neil’s definition of good news. He was just as likely to say that he was being hunted by the FBI as he was to say he won the lottery.

“Jeremy invited us to go to that Thai restaurant with them this evening.”

Jean perked up. “Really?”

“I told him I’d ask you, but that we didn’t have any other plans. He gave me his number.”

Jean’s heart plummeted. Of course he’d be interested in Neil. So many people were interested in Neil. There had been a time, years ago, that Jean himself had been interested in Neil. He was good-looking in a way that was rare. Auburn hair that curled when it got too long. Ice blue eyes that could stare daggers into your soul. And a jaw line that begged to be kissed. Not to mention his athletic build.

“I told him you’d text him to decide on a time.” Neil tossed his phone at Jean, who barely caught it. Neil gave him a wink and disappeared down the hall.

Jean stared down at the phone, and when he found Jeremy’s contact, he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. Perhaps Neil was a better wingman than he gave him credit for.

He added Jeremy’s number and anxiously stared at the new contact in his phone. He spent five minutes typing up a message and then deleting it. He was being ridiculous. It wasn’t a date.

‘Jeremy, this is Jean. I’ve been tasked with confirming dinner plans tonight. We’re looking forward to trying your favorite Thai restaurant.’

He hit send and wished he could take it back. That had been too formal. Neil had given him endless shit in college about personal texts sounding like business emails.

A moment later, his phone pinged with a response. ‘Jean, hey! Glad you guys can make it. Is six good?’

Jean went down the hall and knocked on the bathroom door before stepping in.

“Yeah?” Neil popped his head out of the shower, his hair lathered in shampoo.

“Is six a good time?”

“Yeah, whatever. And hey, use an emoji, will you?”

Jean rolled his eyes. As if Neil were any better. It took him a year to even learn how to answer his phone when he got one. He scrolled through the emojis before clicking the thumbs up. ‘Six is good.’

‘Great, Andrew will drive, so meet in the lobby?’

‘Oka,y’ he sent another thumbs up.

“And don’t keep using the same one,” Neil said from under the water.

Jean grimaced. Too late. “We’re meeting in the lobby. Andrew is driving.” He left Neil to finish his shower.

—

Neil sighed as he stared at a shirtless Jean. There were no less than six shirts strewn about his bed. “You’re thinking about this too hard.”

“You didn’t think about this hard enough. Is that what you’re wearing?” Jean gestured to him like he was disgusted by what he saw.

“What? It’s a t-shirt and Jeans.”

Jean huffed a sigh, pushing past him. “Where’s that outfit Allison bought you for Christmas?”

Neil followed him to his closet. “I’m not wearing that to get Thai food.”

“The jeans at least. They look good on you. And here, this shirt at least fits you properly.” Jean plucked a pair of black jeans and a long-sleeved navy blue shirt.

“You realize this isn’t a date, right?”

“Maybe not a romantic one, but I will not be seen with you looking like that.” Jean gestured at him again.

Neil rolled his eyes and peeled his outfit off to put on the one Jean picked out. “You should wear that maroon one.” He said from inside his shirt, trying to find the sleeve holes.

“Perhaps.”

Despite Neil’s suggestion, it took four more shirts for Jean to finally decide. He did not wear the maroon shirt. He went for black with grey jeans.

By the time they were ready, they had two minutes to spare.

Jean shifted nervously in place as they waited on the elevator. Neil sighed. He placed an arm through Jean’s and pressed into his side. Something he’d learned years ago that settled him. Sure enough, Jean stopped fidgeting.

When they stepped out into the lobby, Jeremy and Andrew were waiting on them.

Jeremy lit up, waving at them as they approached. Andrew looked bored with his hands tucked deep into his pockets.

“Hey, you guys look great.” Jeremy’s smile dimmed.

“Uh, thank you.” Jean glanced down at his outfit with a frown. Jeremy wore a button-down and dark jeans, while Andrew wore a tight black shirt and black jeans. It made Neil glad Jean had convinced him to change.

He released Jean’s arm. “I’m starving. We ready?”

Andrew led the way to the parking lot and to a sleek black Maserati. Did this guy own anything not black?

Neil slid into the back with Jean.

The ride was short enough. Jeremy kept the conversation going with Jean piping in here and there. Neil stared out the window, glad he wasn’t being dragged into pointless conversation.

The restaurant was small, but it smelled heavenly. There were a few other patrons, but they managed to find a table at the back. Neil’s eyes fell to each exit, and he placed himself in eyeline of both.

Jeremy pointed eagerly through the menu, rating each item as if he were a food critic. Little did he know the real food critic was sitting next to him.

“You take this very seriously,” Neil said. It was meant to be mocking, but Jeremy only smiled.

“I want you guys to enjoy yourselves.”

The waiter took their order, leaving them to fall into casual conversation once more.

Jean and Jeremy were discussing their deal when Andrew tapped his finger in front of Neil, pulling his eyes from the front door.

“Why do you look like you’re planning a getaway?” He asked in German.

Neil blinked. That was interesting. He had been sure he was more subtle than that. “I just like to know where my exits are.”

Andrew only hummed.

Neil decided to try and keep the conversation going. “How did you two meet? You seem… so different from one another.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “He does all the talking, so I don’t have to. I don’t mind listening, and he doesn’t mind that I only answer when relevant.”

“Makes sense. Jean is the listener too.”

“You don’t seem like much of a talker.”

Neil shrugged. “I can be. If the conversation is right and if I like you. I don’t like many people. Well, that’s not true. People don’t like me.”

Andrew tilted his head as if urging him to continue.

“I’m abrasive. Prickly. Blunt.” He waved a hand. “Just to name a few of the things I’ve been called.”

“So you say it like it is.”

Neil shrugged. He supposed that was one way of looking at it.

“The people who can’t handle that are weak.”

Neil laughed. “Jean said something similar. He says my mouth is my best and worst quality.”

Andrew’s eyes dropped to Neil’s mouth as if making his own assessment.

The food arrived, ending any further conversation between them. But Neil was fine with that.

After dinner, Andrew took them to an ice cream shop a few blocks away.

Neil grimaced at Andrew’s double chocolate brownie batter ice cream.

Andrew pointed his spoon in his face. “Don’t judge me, Mr. Sorbet.”

“What’s wrong with sorbet?”

“It shouldn’t even be called a dessert.”

“It’s just the fruit version of your monstrosity,” Neil objected.

Andrew gave him an unimpressed look.

“You’ll never convince Andrew to give up his sweets.” Jeremy smiled at the shorter blonde.

Neil almost asked if his kisses tasted sweet, but just as he opened his mouth, he realized that he was actually curious and that was alarming.

“You alright?” Jean asked, leaning into Neil’s side. He realized he must have looked like a gaping fish. He didn’t swing. Besides the one time in college, he found he really liked spending time with his chemistry lab partner. They dated for six months before Declan decided someone else was more interesting. Nobody had ever caught his eye again. But here he was wondering if he could taste the sugar on Andrew’s tongue.

“I’m fine,” Neil lied. He was not fine. He was looking at Andrew and noticing the way the sun cast off his hair like a golden halo. He noticed the way his eyes were like amber crystals.

Jean pinched his side, making him jolt. He met Jean’s questioning look. He could explain in French, but that felt rude. He gave an easy smile that he knew would put Jean at ease.

When they made it back to the car, Neil had half a mind to run home instead of getting into the car. Something about finding himself drawn to Andrew had unsettled him. He barely knew the guy. He’d known Declan for three months before he realized he felt something for him. He stared out the window the entire ride, ready to be home.

He kept his eyes locked on his shoes as they waited for the elevator. Jean leaned into his side, pressing his lips to Neil’s temple and whispered in French, “You sure you’re okay?”

He only nodded. His knees were bouncing, and Jean knew that meant he was feeling anxious. But he didn’t want to get into it in front of Andrew and Jeremy.

Jean frowned but leaned away.

Andrew spoke in German, yanking Neil’s attention to him. “You look like you’re about to bolt.”

“I’m fine.”

“Your entire mood shifted.” That was twice now that Andrew had perceived him in a way most didn’t.

“I’m just tired,” Neil lied, focusing on the numbers counting down as the elevator made its way to them.

He expected Andrew to push, but he didn’t.

Neil mumbled a thank you when they reached their door and hurried inside.

“Okay, speak. What is your problem?” Jean demanded when he came in from saying goodbye.

Neil had started to pace in front of their balcony door. “I don’t swing. You know that.”

“Other than Declan.”

“Yes. Exactly. But I think…” Neil ran a hand through his hair.

“Please don’t tell me you like Jeremy too.” Jean grimaced.

Neil recoiled. “What? No. Andrew.”

Jean’s brows rose. “Really?”

“I mean, I think. I was noticing things that I don’t normally notice. Like his eyes. And I almost asked if his kisses tasted sweet, Jean. His kisses. I don’t ever want to kiss anyone.”

Jean formed an O with his mouth. “They’re likely dating, so we’re both idiots.”

“There’s no way. They barely touched all night.” He hadn’t tried to figure out if they were dating, but they didn’t seem couply.

“Maybe they’re just not super touchy. Remember Kevin and Thea?”

Neil screwed his nose. “I try not to.”

“We’ll find out if they are.”

He drummed his fingers on his thigh. He had never cared who anyone was dating before. He decided he didn’t like caring.

Jean walked over and placed his hands on his shoulders. “Stop freaking out. I forgot how stupid you were when you realized you liked Declan.”

“I can’t do this. I don’t know how to like someone. What do I do? What do I say?”

“Just be yourself.”

“Really?”

“Probably not. You’re a miserable wretch.”

Neil nodded. “It is known.”

“How about you pretend you don’t like him until we find out if he’s single. Yes?”

Neil sighed. It was bad when Jean was the logical one.

“I’m gonna go tomorrow to check out Jeremy’s gym.”

“Great. I’ll stay inside and speak to no one.”

Jean laughed and disappeared down the hall, leaving him to suffer with his newfound feelings.

—

Jean liked to think he was subtle, but sometimes he struggled. And when he reached the front of the Legacy Fitness gym, to see Jeremy wearing a white tank top. Jean struggled. His eyes fell to the tanned skin of Jeremy’s shoulders where freckles dotted like constellations.

“Hey.” Jeremy grinned, his dimples sinking into his cheeks. God, he had a beautiful smile.

“Hello,” Jean said, forcing his eyes away from Jeremy to where Andrew was standing.

“Neil’s not coming?” Jeremy frowned. Jean tried not to see the disappointment on his face. Of course he wanted Neil to come.

“He prefers to run outdoors. Something about freedom and fresh air.”

Jeremy cut a glance to Andrew, who looked disinterested. “Okay, well maybe next time.”

Jean followed them inside. Andrew split off to the weights as soon as they entered. “See you for lunch, Andrew?” Jeremy called.

Andrew waved a hand without looking back.

“Is he always so quiet?” Jean asked.

“He opens up once you get to know him. He comes across as a bit of a hard ass, but he’s a big softie. Don’t tell him I told you.”

“You’re just so bubbly compared to him.”

“Opposites attract,” Jeremy laughed and began pointing out the different rooms of the gym. It was nice. He wouldn’t have a problem coming here regularly. Especially if it were with Jeremy.

He followed Jeremy around the gym, letting him show off his favorite spots before leading him to a small room.

“Welcome to my office. I prefer to give my clients private sessions. I like everyone to feel comfortable.”

Jean noted the weight bench, treadmill, yoga mat, and rack of dumbbells. It was all the essentials in one tiny room.

“I can go over the different plans with you if you want. I have a session in five, but you’re welcome to use whatever part of the gym you want until I’m done.”

Jean nodded. He wandered into the larger room and found Andrew sitting on a bench. Water bottle in hand. He cocked a brow when Jean approached. He didn’t know what Neil saw in the guy, but he wouldn’t deny the arms on him were impressive, though Neil had never seemed particularly interested in that kind of thing.

“I’m surprised he doesn’t have you in some awful yoga pose by now,” Andrew said. Despite his deadpan expression, it seemed he was telling a joke.

Jean huffed. “I suppose time will tell.”

“You’re really gonna do sessions with him then?”

Jean tried desperately to gauge if Andrew was upset by that. But his face gave away nothing. He wondered if Andrew could even make any facial expressions.

“Is that a problem?”

“Your funeral.” Andrew shrugged. He took a drink from his water bottle, and Jean wasn’t sure if he was supposed to take that as a threat.

He left Andrew to finish his workout, occupying himself with a few of the machines until Jeremy was done with his session.

“Great form,” Jeremy said from where he was leaning against one of the walls. Jean released the handles of the cable machine. The weights slammed down with a loud clang.

Jeremy laughed. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Jean stood. “I just didn’t see you there.”

Jeremy gestured for Jean to follow him. “Still wanna look at the plans I offer?”

“Uh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He fell in behind Jeremy.

“Oh. Did you change your mind?”

Jean ran a hand along the back of his neck. He hated the disappointment on Jeremy’s face. “I just think maybe Andrew would prefer I didn’t.”

This made Jeremy stop. “What?”

“He said it was my funeral?”

Jeremy laughed. “Oh don’t let him scare you. He just hates my sessions. He’s more of a weight guy, not such a fan of yoga. But it was entertaining for me. You seem… flexible though.” His eyes dropped down Jean for a moment before snapping back up.

Jean hated the hope that swooped through him. Maybe Neil was right. Maybe he wasn’t dating Andrew.

“You and Andrew seem close,” Jean pointed out, hoping for some clue to settle their bet.

Jeremy’s smile dashed all his hopes. “Yeah. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. We met at kind of a rough time in my life. He’s like my rock, ya know?”

Jean could only nod. So much for not dating.

—

Jean was still gone when Neil got home from his run. He remembered his keys this time. He put the coffee pot on and showered off. It was nice weather, so he took his coffee out onto the balcony. He was staring down at his phone. He hadn’t heard from Jean. He hoped that meant it was going well.

“Still punishing yourself with terrible coffee?”

Neil jumped, nearly spilling his coffee all over himself. He glanced over to see Andrew out on his balcony, a coffee mug of his own in hand.

“Oh, hey.” Neil shoved his phone into the pocket of his sweats. He hated how good Andrew looked in a hoodie and jeans. He looked comfortable and huggable. Huggable? Really? Oh god. What was wrong with him?

“Jeremy was disappointed you didn’t join us this morning.”

Neil frowned. “Join you?”

“The gym. Jeremy was hoping to rope you both into private sessions with him. Guess he’ll have to settle for only Jean.”

“Oh. I uh, prefer to do my running outside. I like the fresh air. It’s freeing.”

“Is that all you do? Run?”

“We have a gym at the college that I use sometimes. Kevin insists I stay in shape.”

Andrew's eyes seemed to be assessing him. “You seem very in shape to me.”

“That’s what I tried telling him, but he’s a bit dramatic.”

Andrew snorted, taking a sip of his coffee.

“You must be in the gym all the time with the way you consume sweets. You also look very in shape.”

Andrew tilted his head, and Neil wondered if he’d said the wrong thing.

“I find weight lifting to be a good stress relief.”

“Running is good for me because I get a lot of pent-up energy.”

“Is that so?” Andrew’s lip quirked. It was the closest thing Neil had seen to a smile on his face. “You must wear Jean out.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Neil shrugged. “He’s used to it, though.”

Andrew huffed into his mug.

They settled into a silence. Neil leaned over the railing and stared down the three stories. Sometimes he wished he could fly. He’d leap over the edge and just soar. Talk about real freedom. His head rushed with a dizzy spell as he leaned too far.

“Planning to jump?” Andrew asked.

“Nah. Can’t run with a broken leg.” He smiled.

“Then you might not want to lean out so far.”

“Oh come on, try it. It’s fun. Gives a little rush.”

“I don’t do heights.”

Neil’s face split into a wide grin. “You’re scared of heights?”

“I didn’t say that. I said I don’t do heights.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “I can read between the lines.”

Andrew quirked a brow but didn’t respond.

Neil sipped his coffee as silence settled over them once more. He found he liked Andrew’s presence. He liked that he didn’t feel the need to fill every silence with meaningless chatter. Was that why he was drawn to him?

The door to the balcony slid open, and Neil smiled as Jean walked out. “You survived.”

“I did.” Jean stepped over and took Neil’s coffee from him and replaced it with a fresh one from the coffee shop down the road.

“Oh mon amour,” Neil swooned dramatically.

Jean poked him in the side, making Neil laugh and pull away.

“Why are you out here?” he asked, before his eyes landed on Andrew. “Ah, Andrew.” He gave a curt nod.

Andrew only raised his mug to them before heading back inside.

Neil drug Jean inside by his arm. “So how did it go? What did you find out?”

“Well, I thought Andrew was warning me away from Jerem,y but when I mentioned it to him, he waved it away. I don’t know what to think.”

“Ugh,” Neil groaned. “I didn’t get anything from Andrew either.” Not that he’d tried.

—

Jean paused outside of the apartment door. Perhaps he was being stupid. It was late. They had likely already had dinner. Before he could change his mind, he knocked.

There was a long moment of silence before the door was opened.

Jean gaped at where Jeremy was standing in nothing but a towel. He didn’t mean for his eyes to slip down, following the sun-kissed freckles that littered Jeremy’s tan skin.

“Jean.” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry to intrude. I was just on my way in and thought you might…” he held up the bag of food from his restaurant. “I sometimes bring home the extras.”

Jeremy’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s so kind of you. Come on in.”

Jean hesitated before stepping into the apartment.

“Give me like two seconds to get dressed,” Jeremy’s face flushed before he disappeared around the corner.

Jean set the bag down and started to unload it. He heard hushed whispering deeper in the apartment.

Andrew came around the corner, and Jean froze. He was pulling on a long-sleeved shirt. His hair looked like fingers had been carded through it repeatedly. He wore a dazed look on his face. He stopped and squinted at Jean before glancing at the clock. It was ten p.m. Oh god, had he interrupted them? Had they been—

Jean cleared his throat. “I know it’s late. Neil said you like sweets. How do you feel about Gâteau opéra?” He pulled out a box and opened it.

Andrew’s eyes fell to the cake.

“It is an almond sponge cake soaked in coffee syrup, layered with ganache and coffee. With French buttercream, and covered in a chocolate glaze.”

Andrew tugged the box toward him and grabbed a clean spoon from the dish rack.

“It smells amazing.” Jeremy reappeared, now dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. Jean tried not to be disappointed.

“I’m sorry for the late hour. I wanted to thank you for showing me around the gym.”

“You mean undo all my hard work?” Jeremy laughed, stealing a bite of the cake straight from Andrew’s spoon, earning a glare.

Jean smiled. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I brought a few things.” He listed all of the different dishes he’d brought.

Jeremy hummed around a bite of Coq au Vin. A chicken dish in a red wine sauce. “You made all this?”

Jean nodded.

Jeremy groaned around another bite, and Jean’s face flushed at the sound. He turned to Andrew, who was halfway through the cake.

“Neil suggested that. I assume it’s to your liking?”

“Neil has eaten this?”

Jean couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out. “No. He would never. But he has tried it once. He said it would be easier to shovel sugar straight from the jar.”

Andrew snorted and turned back to his cake. “It’s good.”

Jean couldn’t help but be confused. He seemed displeased, but was devouring it. Perhaps he was annoyed that he’d interrupted them.

“Anyway, I should go. Neil is waiting on me. I didn’t mean to… interrupt.”

Jeremy waved a hand. “No, I was just about to hop in the shower, so good timing.”

Oh, so they’d just finished. Jean tried to push the disappointment away.

“Well, enjoy the food.” Jean backed toward the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

Jean smiled. “Yes.” He would pretend that the sight of Jeremy’s smile didn’t send warmth coursing through him.

When he was back in their apartment, he was met with an anxious-looking Neil.

“How’d it go?”

“Andrew loved the cake.”

“Ha,” Neil straightened in pride.

“But I’m pretty sure they’d just finished having sex.”

Neil’s face fell. “What?”

“Jeremy answered the door in a towel, and then Andrew came out, putting on clothes looked completely… what does Allison say? Fucked out?”

Neil’s face scrunched up. “We don’t know that’s what they were doing.”

Jean only rolled his eyes. He should have known Neil would be in denial.

—

Jeremy put the last of the leftovers Jean had brought over into the fridge and couldn’t help but think of one of his best friends, Cat. She loved food and cooking. She had been the only reason he ate decently in college. He was a terror in the kitchen. Andrew did all the cooking for them. Maybe he could convince Jean to teach him something to impress Cat.

Andrew closed the cake box and slid it to Jeremy, who put the rest away.

“Are you gonna be able to get back to sleep with all that sugar in your system?” He teased.

“I’ll manage.” Andrew shrugged.

“I’m surprised you came out to say hi.”

“I thought Neil would be with him.”

It was strange to see Andrew interested in anyone. He knew Andrew hooked up with people, but he’d never brought any of them home, and he never stayed over with any of them. Andrew never even talked about any of his hook-ups. So seeing him shoot curious glances at Neil and hearing him ask about him was odd. When he’d asked Andrew about it, he’d been given a dismissive comment about how Neil didn’t annoy him. That in of itself was a feat most didn’t possess. “Hey, the cake was basically from him.”

Andrew shrugged a shoulder and yawned.

“Oh come on, you don’t really think they’re dating, do you?”

Andrew leveled him with an unamused stare.

“We have no proof. And your poor attempts at flirting with Neil don’t count.”

“I wasn’t flirting. I asked him if he wore Jean out. He said yes.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together.”

Andrew gave him a blank stare and hopped off the stool.

“Tomorrow, you should invite Neil to get coffee out. See if you can get solid evidence.”

Andrew paused at the end of the hall. “Or you could just ask Jean out and see if he says yes.”

Jeremy scoffed. “I don’t want Neil to hate me.” He liked Neil, and if he made Jean happy, then so be it. He didn’t want to make things awkward by implying he wanted to get with Jean. Even if that were true. “And besides, you could just as easily ask out Neil.”

“I don’t think he’s interested.” With that, Andrew was back in his room.

Jeremy sighed and tried not to think about grey eyes and a French accent saying his name while he showered. He was unsuccessful.

—

Running always made Neil feel better. He felt calmer and more clearer-headed. So he had no excuse for the bumbling idiot he became the moment Andrew appeared next to him in a tank top. His muscular arms on full display. Neil had the urge to reach out and touch him. He would not be doing that.

“Morning,” Neil said, pulling his eyes from Andrew, who gave a grumbled response. They stood waiting for the elevator. Neil would have just taken the stairs by now if it weren’t for Andrew’s presence.

“Jean said you liked the cake.” He pointedly did not look over.

“It was good cake.”

Neil couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.

They rode the elevator in silence to their floor. And just as Neil put the key into his door, Andrew spoke again.

“There’s a new coffee shop down the road. I was thinking of going after I shower.”

Neil stared at Andrew. “Okay?” Why was he telling him this? Andrew wasn’t one for pointless conversation.

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Do you want to go?”

“Oh.” Neil’s face lit up. “Sure.”

“Lobby in fifteen,” Andrew said before stepping inside.

Neil showered as fast as he could and stared at his closet. He could hear Jean’s voice in his head rejecting most of his outfits. He sighed, grabbing a plain t-shirt and sweatpants. It was just coffee.

He got to the lobby several minutes early. He shot Jean a text letting him know where he was in case Jean got back from the gym before he returned.

When Andrew stepped out of the elevator, he didn’t even pause. He simply nodded to the door and kept walking. Neil followed obediently.

He climbed into the Maserati and enjoyed the silence that sat between them. He really liked Andrew’s presence. He was like a weight that kept Neil’s feet on the ground. Some people made him jumpy. Some people made him antsy. Very few people made Neil truly comfortable. Jean and Allison were the only two. Kevin made him jumpy. Matt made him antsy, and Dan could do either, depending on the day and her mood. It was like he always had to be impressing them or doing something. He could never settle. Jean settled him. Allison didn’t settle him so much as she bullied him into calming down. It was effective. Neil didn’t like being handled with kid gloves. He liked people who were to the point. No guessing what they wanted from him.

When they arrived at the small coffee shop, it was surprisingly quiet. The morning rush seemed to be over.

As they reached the counter, Andrew turned a sharp look at him. “Don’t make me pay for a single black coffee.”

Neil laughed. “I can pay for myself.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

Neil bit back his smile and nodded. He scanned the menu. He had a latte once. It was horrible. It might as well have been a cup of coffee flavored milk. There had been a cold drink he tried once that had been good. His eyes fell to the description of a cold brew. He wondered if that would count as a black coffee.

He leaned in to whisper to Andrew. “Would you punch me if I get a cold brew?”

There was a moment where he didn’t think Andrew was going to answer before he pointed to the menu. “And a large cold brew.”

Neil smiled triumphantly.

“You’re on thin ice,” Andrew said as they waited for their drinks.

Neil grimaced as two drinks were set in front of them moments later. His cold brew and whatever sugary monstrosity Andrew had ordered. It was some sort of chocolate blended thing with too much whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

“What is that?” he asked as they took their seat at the back of the shop.

“Cookie crumble,” Andrew answered, scooping whipped cream up with his straw and sucking it down.

Neil watched, once again wondering if he’d be able to taste the sweetness on his tongue.

Averting his eyes, he took a sip of his own drink. It was cold and bitter. Just how he liked it.

“This is good. Thanks.”

“Liar.”

Neil smirked. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” He held out his drink in offering.

Andrew gave him an unamused look.

“I’ll try yours if you try mine.” He wore a taunting expression. Jean would roll his eyes and call him an instigator.

Andrew, without saying anything, snatched the drink, shoving his at Neil.

Neil knew his grin was smug, but he couldn’t help it. He liked to win.

Andrew took a sip and crinkled his nose. Neil decided it was an adorable look.

“Awful.”

Taking Andrew’s straw in his mouth, he didn’t break eye contact as he sucked. The taste of whipped cream hit first, followed quickly by too much chocolate. He grimaced as the sweet permeated his mouth.

Andrew’s brow rose in mild delight.

“Dear god. Is there even any coffee in that?” Neil slurped on his bitter drink, letting it wash away the sugar.

“Do you like any sweets?”

“I like fruits. Peaches specifically.”

Andrew glared. “That doesn’t count.”

“Okay, there’s a lemon tart that Jean makes. Tarte au Citron.”

“Something that doesn’t have fruit?” Andrew rolled his eyes.

Neil considered for a moment. “Oh. Jean makes a coffee mousse that is really good.”

“Acceptable.”

They settled into a comfortable silence again. Neil wanted to ask about him and Jeremy, but he didn’t know how without just straight asking.

“Jean is excited to work with Jeremy. He always bugs me to go to the gym with him, so it’s nice he has someone he can bother instead of me.” It was the closest thing to bringing up Jeremy he could think of.

“They get along well.”

Neil wondered if he was insinuating something. He couldn’t be sure. “Jean gets along with most people, if they can handle him being so blunt. I’m guessing Jeremy can since…” he gestured to Andrew.

“Jeremy is the most tolerant person I’ve ever met. To his own detriment.”

Neil hummed in understanding. “Explains why you’re so protective.”

Andrew paused, eyeing Neil. “Jeremy deserves good things in his life. I make sure he gets them.”

Neil’s chest warmed. “Yeah. I get it.” He felt the same way about Jean. He may be just over six feet tall, but Neil would always be the wall that stood between Jean and the world. If something wanted to hurt him, it had to go through Neil first.

Andrew didn’t respond, and they settled into silence once again.

The silence lasted the car ride back and to the elevator.

“Thanks again for coffee.”

Andrew glanced at him and then back to the elevator. “I think Jean signed up for three sessions a week with Jeremy. We can make this a more regular thing if you want.”

Neil bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. “Yeah. I’ll pay next time. It can be our own little sessions.”

Andrew snorted.

Neil hated the excited jolt he felt at knowing he would be spending time with Andrew at least three times a week.

—

Jean had fair skin, a product of being French. He wore sunburns and embarrassment like a beacon. He really should have considered that before agreeing to be stretched out in front of Jeremy in an obscene position he reserved only for the bedroom. He was currently in a downward dog pose. Jeremy was guiding Jean’s legs wider to deepen the stretch. His fingers tapped gently on Jean’s inner thigh when he wanted him to widen his stance.

“You’re more flexible than most of my clients,” Jeremy praised, and Jean’s face flushed a deep shade of red.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Okay, that’s good.” Jeremy placed a hand on Jean’s back as he helped guide him back to standing.

Jean hoped the flush would disappear before Jeremy noticed.

“So you said you wanted to work on your core strength. I have a few ideas for that.”

Jean nodded. Glad to be done with stretches. He almost regretted agreeing to private sessions with Jeremy. Had he known he’d be forced to stretch in front of him for ten minutes, he might have declined.

The rest of the session went easy enough. No more embarrassing positions, and Jeremy was quite good. Nicer than Kevin, and more patient than Neil.

“So how do you feel?” Jeremy asked as they sat down on the bench.

“Good.”

“You did well. You’re definitely one of my more cooperative clients. Anything I said, you just did it. The one time I got Andrew in here, he refused to do half the stuff I suggested.”

“I’m good at doing what I’m told.” Jean shrugged.

Both he and Jeremy paused.

Jean’s face flushed as he realized the implications of that. He cleared his throat. “I just mean…”

“No, I get it. It’s uh— that’s good. It makes my job easier. In here. For working out.”

Jean bowed his head. Great, he made Jeremy uncomfortable. If he told Andrew about this, he was going to be murdered.

“I don’t have a client for another two hours. Do you want to grab something to eat?” Jeremy asked.

Jean blinked. He was sure he would want him to go away after that awful conversation. “Okay.”

“Do you need to check with Neil?” Jeremy asked.

“I’ll just let him know I’ll be home later.” Jean pulled out his phone and shot Neil a message.

Jeremy shifted his weight, making Jean think he wanted to say something. Before Jean could ask, Jeremy was walking toward the door. “The cafe upstairs has pretty good food. Come on.”

Jean followed Jeremy upstairs, where they got a couple of Caesar wraps and sat down.

Jeremy shifted his weight again in his chair. It was obvious he had something to say.

“Is everything okay?” Jean asked. Was Jeremy trying to come up with a nice way of saying don’t come back? Oh god. He’d really fucked up. Neil was going to give him so much shit.

“I was wondering if I could ask a favor.”

Jean’s spiraling thoughts halted. “A favor?” Like, never come back?

“Yeah. So I have this friend, Cat. She loves cooking and is pretty good. I’m atrocious. Her girlfriend’s birthday is coming up, and I was wondering if you could teach me how to make something for her.”

“Oh.” Jean’s face lit up. That was not what he’d been expecting.

“Andrew usually does all the cooking, but he doesn’t really have the patience to teach me. He’s tried. And you’re… well, you’re amazing. I know you already agreed to teach me French, but…”

Jean’s face flushed again. He dipped his chin, hoping to hide it.

“Just one dish. Preferably nothing too complicated. I’m truly terrible, but I’m willing to try.”

“Of course.”

Jeremy’s smile was like the sun itself. “Great. Her birthday is next week. It’ll be the best surprise ever.”

“What would you like to make her?”

Jeremy looked thoughtful for a moment, and Jean couldn’t help but admire the slight dip of his lips and the furrow of his brow. He was the definition of adorable.

“Laila is Lebanese, so perhaps something along those lines?”

Jean smiled. “Let me think on it. I am familiar with some Lebanese dishes, but it is not my specialty. I wouldn’t want to do something too difficult.”

“Okay,” Jeremy’s face lit up, making Jean want to poke one of his dimples so bad he couldn’t stand it.

“I will text you and we can make a plan.”

“Maybe while we’re cooking, we can send Neil and Andrew off to do something together.” Jeremy pushed his straw around his drink. He glanced up at Jean like he was expecting something.

“I think that would be best. Neil is a menace in the kitchen.” Neil would be thrilled to have a chance to spend time with Andrew. And maybe even if Andrew and Jeremy were dating— no, he shook the thought from his mind. He would not be that person. He would accept Jeremy’s friendship and be happy with that. He would not try to come between them.

When Jean arrived home, Neil was sitting on the couch with pages strewn about the coffee table in front of him.

“How was the gym?” Neil asked, setting down a page of Exy stats for one of his players.

“I perhaps should have foreseen that I would end up in compromising positions in front of him.”

Neil laughed.

“How was your morning?” Jean ruffled his hair, earning a swat in return.

“Great. Andrew took me out for coffee.”

Jean paused. “You went on a date?”

“Well, no. We went for coffee. It’s gonna be our new thing though. While you’re busy getting sweaty with Jeremy, we’re gonna be slurping on delicious coffee.”

“I’m surprised he agreed.”

“It was his idea.”

“Well, then perhaps you can come up with something for the pair of you to do in a couple of days.”

Neil frowned up at him. “Why?”

“Jeremy has asked me to teach him how to make a dish for a friend’s birthday. I would prefer if you fucked off.”

Neil’s grin was wide, and he saw the glimmer in his eyes.

“Whatever you’re thinking. Don’t.”

“I’m thinking Jeremy likes you.”

“He and Andrew are together.”

Neil’s smile fell. “You know that for sure?”

“I told you I interrupted them last night.”

“Maybe they just fuck sometimes.” Neil shrugged, his eyes falling back to the pages on the table. Jean had known Neil for years. It was strange to see him pining after someone. Or close enough to. He also felt for him. He wasn’t used to the feeling. The feeling of wanting someone who didn’t want you. He wanted to wrap Neil in a hug and tell him not to swing. That it was much less painful.

“What is it about him?”

Neil blinked up at him. “What?”

“Andrew. What is it about him? You never notice anyone. Why him?”

Neil shifted on the couch, making room for Jean. “I dunno. I didn’t even notice that I’d noticed until I was noticing. I mean… I like that he doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence. Talking to him is easy. He’s funny. He’s kind, though I don’t think he would admit that. It’s like there’s someone buried beneath that hard exterior just begging to get out. His presence is very calming to me. My feet don’t have the urge to run when he’s around. I don’t really know why. I’m still trying to figure him out. And it’s obvious he cares a great deal for Jeremy.”

Jean nodded. “Jeremy mentioned that Andrew was his rock.”

Neil sighed, leaning back. “We don’t know for sure that they’re together.”

Jean decided not to argue.

—

Jeremy plopped down on the couch and lifted his socked feet over Andrew’s lap, hovering in silent question. Andrew pressed them down onto his lap, giving his ankle an affectionate squeeze as he set his book down.

“So I have exciting news.”

Andrew raised a brow and waited for him to continue.

“Jean has agreed to help teach me how to make a Lebanese dish for Cat for her birthday.”

“Does he know you burned up my fifty-dollar pot trying to make pasta?”

Jeremy poked Andrew’s leg with his toe. “No.”

“You can use his kitchen.”

“I’m sure he’ll be amenable.” He shifted and hoped Andrew wouldn’t be upset about the next bit of news he had. He seemed to be in a decent mood.

“What?” Andrew pinched his ankle. He always knew when Jeremy wasn’t saying something.

“How would you feel about spending some time with Neil?”

Andrew narrowed his eyes.

“I just thought that maybe you two could do something when we’re cooking.”

“I don’t need you to set me up on a play date.”

“No. That’s not what I was doing. I just was hoping… ya know.”

“To be alone with him?” Andrew rolled his eyes.

Jeremy grimaced. God, when did he get so pathetic?

“Is Neil aware of these plans?”

“Jean thinks it’s a good idea. He’s gonna talk to Neil and let me know.”

Andrew didn’t respond.

“I just thought you might like the excuse.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed again.

“Come on. You like him.”

“Just because I’d blow him doesn’t mean I like him.”

Jeremy gave him a doubtful look. “He interests you. I can tell.”

Andrew averted his eyes.

“What is it about him?” Jeremy hoped he wasn’t pushing. They didn’t talk about guys together. It wasn’t something Andrew cared to do. “I mean obviously he’s pretty.” He’d noticed that immediately. Anyone would likely notice Neil.

The glare Andrew shot him was deadly.

“Is it cause he’s quiet?”

Andrew took in a slow breath, like he was finding patience.

“Come on. I want to understand.” He poked Andrew’s leg again.

“He doesn’t shy away. He meets my jabs with his own. And he… laughs instead of getting offended. And yes, he knows how to be quiet. Unlike you.”

Jeremy couldn’t help the wide smile on his face. It was odd to hear Andrew talk about someone like that. But it made him like Neil even more. “So you won’t mind keeping him busy while we cook?”

“Whatever.”

Jeremy was happy to let the conversation end, but Andrew shifted under him before staring off and asking, “What is it about Jean?”

And oh that was new. Andrew didn’t ask about any of the people Jeremy dated. Unless they did something he disapproved of. Which was most of the time.

“What besides being six foot two and French?”

Andrew gave him a bored look. Jean was definitely not Andrew’s type.

“He’s sweet. He listens to every story like it’s the most important thing. He wants to hear my opinions. He makes me feel… seen. Like you. Only… nicer.”

Andrew pinched his ankle again. Jeremy laughed. “You know how it is. I’m so used to being a presence. Not really seen or heard. I mean, other than with Laila and Cat, of course, but… he’s so attentive. It’s intimidating to be honest. In the gym this morning, he followed every instruction, trusting me to do right by him. Do you know how many people I get that act like they know more or refuse to push themselves because they don’t believe the potential I see in them? It was so refreshing.”

“You’re smitten. It’s disgusting.”

Jeremy sighed, leaning his head back. “I know. I just really hope he’s not dating Neil.”

—

The slight breeze blew through the leaves of the new plants Jean had brought home. He was determined to have an herb garden. Neil knew little to nothing about gardening, other than the many ramblings of Jean’s he could recall, but even he doubted they’d survive a shaded balcony.

He flicked a bug from the leaf of the thyme plant. Was it thyme? He tugged the card to see that it was not thyme. It was basil. The sliding of a door on the balcony next to him made his heart leap.

He turned to see Andrew step out onto the balcony. He wore a pensive scowl as he stared down at his phone.

Neil didn’t know Andrew that well, but he knew enough to know that everything was wrong with him. He seemed annoyed, and stressed at the same time. He carded his fingers through his hair. Everything about his posture and stance had Neil’s fingers tapping. Oh he didn’t like that. Andrew never made him feel antsy. He continued to watch as Andrew placed a phone to his ear.

“Katelyn, please call me. I— just, please.” Andrew huffed, hanging up the phone and shoving it deep into his pocket. He ran a hand through his hair once more before going back inside.

Neil’s feet were moving before he even processed what was happening.

His knuckles rapped on the door of Andrew’s apartment. He bounced on his heels until the door opened to see Andrew standing there. Everything was off. His stance. His expression. It made Neil almost nauseous.

The pair stood in silence before Neil finally spoke. “You’re wrong.”

“Excuse me?” Andrew’s brows rose.

“You’re not… right.” Neil gestured to him as if that would prove his point.

“Are you looking for—“

“Neil?”

His head snapped up to see that behind Andrew was… “Andrew.” Neil let out a relieved sigh. “That makes so much sense.”

Andrew gave him a blank look. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw you— well, not you, him on the balcony, but you were… wrong.”

A shadow of a frown ghosted Andrew’s face. “Wrong?”

Neil bounced from one foot to the other. “I mean, he looked like you, but it was like a wrong version. Your expression was wrong and your tone, and— I didn’t know you had a twin.”

Andrew only stared at him, like he was assessing, analyzing.

“I’m Aaron.”

Neil pulled his eyes to Andrew’s twin. “Neil.”

“Neighbor, I’m guessing?”

Neil nodded.

“And you had no idea that Andrew had a twin brother, but you were able to tell from your balcony that I wasn’t Andrew?”

Neil shrugged. He had a feeling he had done something wrong. The looks the twins were giving him said he’d missed a social cue. Where was Jean when he needed him?

“And you came over here to…”

Neil shifted his weight. “I was confused, and worried.”

Andrew’s jaw clenched. He still hadn’t said anything.

“I’m sorry. I’ll go. Good luck with Katelyn.” Neil decided not to go back to his apartment. He had way too much energy buzzing in him. He needed to run.

—

Andrew tapped his finger on the counter in a steady beat. Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Oh, tapping, that’s never a good sign. What’s got you in your head?” Jeremy asked, rinsing the dishes from dinner.

Andrew shot him a look. He didn’t care for Jeremy’s insight sometimes.

“Is it Aaron?”

Andrew’s finger stopped tapping.

“Did you kill him?” Jeremy’s tone was only sort of joking. But Andrew heard the worry beneath. Aaron had stayed the night to let a fight between him and Katelyn simmer. Andrew should have killed him; it would have been less irritating.

“They’re talking again.” Andrew hadn’t cared about the stupid miscommunication between his brother and his fiancée. Weddings brought out the worst in people. But he’d listened diligently, offering no advice. His part was giving Aaron a place to go. Job done.

“Oh good. So they worked it out?”

Andrew nodded and resumed his tapping.

“So what’s wrong?”

“Neil came by.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He hadn’t planned to tell Jeremy what happened, but this tugging at his chest made him want to rip open his own ribcage.

“Okay?”

“He met Aaron.”

Jeremy waited patiently for him to continue. He wasn’t sure how to.

“He knew.” His fingers stilled as he met Jeremy’s eyes. Silent confusion. Waiting for more information.

“He took one look at Aaron, had no clue I had a brother, much less a twin, and knew.”

Jeremy’s mouth dropped open. “How?”

“He said he was… wrong. That he looked like me, but—“ he clenched his jaw. The words echoed in his ears. The relief on his face when he’d realized he had a twin.

“That’s impressive,” Jeremy said cautiously. He knew what that meant. He knew how significant it was.

Ever since Andrew found out he had a brother, they had been confused for each other. Hell, it was how they found out about each other. They kept their hair too similar, but neither would budge on being the one to change it. Standing next to each other, Andrew knew they were easily mistaken. But Neil had known. Had seen. He’d taken one look at Aaron and called him wrong.

“I know it… makes you uncomfortable. But it must feel good too, right? Knowing that just in the short time he’s known you, that he’s seen you.”

“He doesn’t know anything about me.” Andrew gritted out.

“He must know enough to see Aaron and know something was off.”

Andrew's hands clenched into fists. The tugging was worse. He refused to put a name to it. You name it and you get attached. He would not get attached. Not to this feeling and not to Neil.

—

Jean scribbled a list of ingredients down onto his notepad. Neil leaned over, hooking his chin on Jean’s shoulder. “How many dishes are you doing?”

Jean tipped his head so it rested against Neil’s. “Well, I have six for him to choose from. But I am worried I’m going to overwhelm him.”

Neil hummed in agreement.

Jean didn’t usually get nervous when he cooked, but this was different. He had spent hours researching Lebanese dishes.

“These two seem like the best.” Neil pointed to the top of the page. “I always tell you to follow your gut instincts. You think too much and fuck up.”

Jean snorted. But didn’t disagree.

“When are you doing that, by the way?” Neil asked. They hadn’t seen the pair over the weekend. Not since Neil had thoroughly offended Andrew’s brother.

“I haven’t spoken to him, but I’m thinking of doing a test run.”

“What if Andrew doesn’t let him? What if they hate us now?” Neil groaned, pulling away from Jean. Before he could get far, Jean gripped his waist, pulling him into his side and pressing a kiss to his temple.

“You worry too much. I will talk to him in the morning. I have a training session with him.”

Neil groaned again. “Do you think Andrew is going to bail on coffee?”

Jean didn’t know. He had no clue how Andrew operated or what his thought process was like. He also hadn’t been there when Neil had called Aaron wrong. Neil was insistent that he had upset Andrew, though.

The next morning, Jean waited anxiously outside of Jeremy’s room. When he saw him approach, he wore the same sunshine smile, but his eyes were dulled. Something was bothering him. Shit. Maybe Neil really had messed up.

“Good morning, Jean,” Jeremy said in French

Jean’s heart stuttered. Oh he liked that. That was the first time he had spoken any French outside of their few lessons. “Hello, Jeremy.”

Jeremy’s smile grew, and this time it met his eyes.

“Are you alright? You seem… bothered.”

The surprise that crossed Jeremy’s face was cute. “I uh, had a rough weekend.”

Jean’s heart sank. “I am sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. Family drama. I’m sure you know how it is.”

Jean did not, but he kept his mouth shut.

“How was your weekend?” Jeremy asked, unlocking the door to his room.

“Fine. I found a few recipes for you to choose from. If you’re still interested, of course.”

Jeremy beamed. “Yes, absolutely.

“I was thinking we could do a test run.”

“Great idea. Are you free tonight?”

Jean tried to school his surprise. “I am. However, I am aware that Andrew may not be up for Neil’s company.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

Jean set his things down on the bench and shifted his weight. “As Neil tells it, he upset him greatly.”

Jeremy’s brows rose. “Neil upset Andrew?”

“He offended his brother.” Jean offered. Had Andrew not told Jeremy?

The laugh that bubbled out of Jeremy was a sound Jean wished he could bottle.

“Neil didn’t upset Andrew. He surprised him. It took almost six months for me to stop mixing them up. Some of our friends still do on occasion.”

“Oh.” Perhaps he shouldn’t have trusted Neil’s interpretation of the social interaction. Neither of them was great, but Neil was arguably worse.

“I’ll send Andrew a message before we get started.”

Jean allowed himself to look at Jeremy while he was distracted on his phone. Jeremy was truly a beautiful man. He wanted to drag his fingers along his bare shoulders. He wanted to connect the constellations of his freckles with his mouth. He wanted to—

“Done. I think he’s meeting Neil for coffee anyway. They can talk about it then.”

Jean blinked, his mind jarred from its inappropriate thoughts. Jeremy was going to be the death of him.

—

Neil pressed his key into his lock when Andrew’s voice spoke up behind him.

“Lobby in fifteen.”

Neil spun and froze. Was Andrew serious? He still wanted to get coffee? Was he still mad? He didn’t look mad. That didn’t mean he wasn’t. If anyone could put on a believable facade, it was Andrew. But he seemed calm. Relaxed.

Andrew pulled his keys from his pocket and looked at Neil expectantly. They stared at each other in silence before Andrew spoke again.

“Coffee, yes or no?”

Neil nodded. “Yes.”

“Lobby in fifteen,” Andrew repeated, disappearing into his apartment.

Neither one spoke the whole way to the coffee shop. Neil paid this time. And when they finally sat, Andrew’s finger tapped the table. Over and over.

Neil let the sound calm his anxious mind until Andrew snapped, “Talk.”

Neil jumped. “About what?”

“What’s running through that brain of yours?”

Neil shifted in his seat. “I uh… Look, I’m sorry about—“ he snapped his mouth shut when Andrew’s eyes darkened.

“Don’t. I don’t like apologies.”

“Okay.” Neil agreed. That was a curious thing to not like, but perhaps they had empty meaning to Andrew. Too many people who weren’t sorry said they were. He knew that well enough. “I didn’t intend to upset you or offend your brother,” he rephrased.

Andrew snorted, scooping whipped cream into his mouth. “You did neither.”

Neil’s brows dipped. “I saw your face. You weren’t happy.”

“I was… surprised. You didn’t even know about Aaron and yet…”

He scanned Andrew’s face. The flutter of his lashes when he blinked. The way he dragged his thumb across his lower lip. He was beautiful.

Andrew’s eyes met his when he leaned across the table, dropping into German. “You hide behind apathy, choosing which emotions you let flit across your face. I recognize that look. I wore it for years. What you don’t show can’t be used against you.” Neil ignored the clench of Andrew’s hands and the tick of his jaw. “I’m guessing only those who earn that trust get to see it. Jeremy for instance.” He leaned back and took a sip of his coffee.

“I hate you.”

Neil smiled. Somehow, he didn’t believe him. But he wouldn’t say as much. “How’s today’s monstrosity?” he switched back to English.

Andrew dropped his eyes to the half-finished coffee drink. It was some sort of caramel concoction. “You’d hate it.”

The silence fell over them, and Neil welcomed it. He was glad Andrew wasn’t mad. He’d been truly worried he’d ruined whatever this was between them. He wasn’t sure he could call it friendship.

When they arrived back at the apartment, Andrew paused at his door. “Jean will be putting the fate of your kitchen in Jeremy’s hands tonight. You’re bringing pizza and something alcoholic.”

Neil bit his cheek to keep from smiling.

—

Jeremy liked to think himself calm under pressure. Inside, his emotions might be a torrent, but outside, he schooled them into a facade that would make even Andrew proud. However, cooking was something he was terrible at, and he really wanted to impress Jean. He had rambled for thirty minutes to Andrew about how this was a mistake, to which Andrew only shrugged in agreement.

Now he was standing in Jean’s doorway.

“Jeremy, hi.” Jean stepped aside, allowing him in. His feet were lead. “I have all the ingredients we need to get started. But Andrew sent me a message earlier saying you might be nervous and to not let you stab yourself with a kitchen knife. So I thought we could start with a glass of wine. Just to loosen your nerves. But not too much that I cannot keep my promise of no bodily harm.”

Jeremy groaned. “Of course he said that.”

“Was he not supposed to?”

Andrew would always look out for him, but did he have to throw him under the bus in the process? “He just worries. I’m fine.”

Jean eyed him for a moment before grabbing two wine glasses.

“Where’s Neil?” Jeremy expected him to be heading over to his apartment soon.

“I believe he was tasked with bringing food and alcohol under threat of no entry.”

Jeremy laughed. That sounded about right.

“There you are.”

He frowned at the phrase.

“When I asked Andrew if you were okay. He said you go away when you go home.”

Jeremy winced. “Yeah. Family gatherings do that.”

“They are difficult for you?”

That was an understatement. “Aren’t all families difficult?”

Jean frowned and looked away. “I am not really sure. Neil and Kevin are my only family. They can be difficult, but perhaps not in the same way. They do not drain the joy from my eyes.”

Jeremy’s stomach swooped and then dropped. “Oh. I— didn’t realize.”

Jean waved a hand as he lifted his wine glass to his lips. He followed suit.

“Shall we get started?”

Jeremy nodded, gulping the rest of the wine for courage because Andrew was right; he was nervous.

The two had decided on making Sfeehas, Lebanese meat pies.

Jean showed him how to mix the yeast with water and sugar to activate it. He guided him through mixing the ingredients into a dough.

Jeremy was pinned between the counter and Jean. Jean’s arms were wrapped around him, guiding his hands to knead the dough. Their hands were slick with olive oil as they brushed together. Jeremy tried not to lean back into Jean’s warmth. He smelled good. Whatever cologne he wore suited him well. Jean’s breath kissed his cheek as he explained the process of what they were doing. Jeremy had no hope of retaining any of it.

Once the dough was left to proof. They moved on to the innards.

Jean gave him an onion to cut, and Jeremy did his best. He was clumsy with a blade, and the onion made his eyes water.

“No, no.” Jean laughed, taking Jeremy’s hand in his to guide the knife through the onion. He was gentle, like he was handling a lover. It made Jeremy wonder if he was as gentle in the bedroom. Surely.

“I warned you I was no good at this.”

Jean huffed another laugh. “Non, mon ami. Tu vas bien.”

Jeremy faltered. The knife came down a bit harder than he intended.

“What does that mean?”

“No, my friend. You are doing well.”

Jeremy was weak to accents, weaker to foreign languages being spoken in his ear. “Neil must love when you speak French.” The mention of Neil was more of a reminder for himself than for Jean. Though he wondered what Neil would think if he could see them like that.

Jean rolled his eyes. “He is not so easily impressed. Four languages, remember?”

He had expected Jean to take a step back at the mention of Neil. To put space between them. But he continued guiding the knife until the onion was cut.

“Put two tablespoons of oil in the saucepan and add the onions.” Jean pointed to the dispensers next to the oven as he washed his hands and the knife.

Jeremy did as he was told.

“Do you know how to tell when onions are done?” Jean asked.

Jeremy was sure Cat had told him before, but he was coming up blank.

“When they are translucent and soft.” Jean joined his side and grimaced.

“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asked, as he stirred the onion around the pot.

Jean leaned over and paused. “You used olive oil?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy held up the bottle.

Jean pursed his lips, and Jeremy wasn’t sure if he was trying to hide a smile or another grimace.

“That is vinegar.”

He looked at the bottle in his hand. The scripty V that was engraved on the front made him sigh. “Oh.”

Jean slid the pot from the burner. His smile was warm, but he looked unhappy.

“Not doing so well anymore, huh?” he chuckled.

Jean coughed. “Vinegar and onions are a truly caustic combination.”

He had to agree. The smell was enough to burn his nose hairs.

Jean gave him a fresh onion and urged him to cut it while he cleaned out the pot.

Jean continued to guide him through each step, though he stuck closer. His hand on his at any possible opportunity. The ease with which Jean worked in the kitchen was like watching a dancer on stage. Effortless. Graceful.

Jeremy managed to not mess anything else up. Mostly because Jean didn’t give him the chance. Doing this alone would have been disastrous. It already had been. Though it was easily fixed.

Jean poured them both another glass of wine as they waited for their pies to cook. “I am surprised Andrew has not come searching to make sure you haven’t impaled yourself.”

“He’s a bit protective, but he knows I don’t like when he hovers.” It helped that he was only next door. Andrew had a hard time when he was dating. Preferred if he didn’t stay overnight. It also didn’t help that Jeremy had shit taste in men. The first time he came home with bruising, Andrew had demanded an explanation. The second time, it was around his throat, and he demanded a name. Jeremy never heard from Ivan again. But Jean wasn’t like them. He was kind. He was gentle.

“Neil is protective too. But he is not afraid to hover.”

“He’s not hovering now,” Jeremy pointed out.

“He has spent enough time around you to decide whether you were a threat. He deems you safe.”

Jeremy frowned. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to take that. Did he think that Jean wouldn’t be interested in him? Or did he think Jeremy would be respectful enough not to try anything? Guilt gnawed at him. He might think differently if he knew how Jeremy had been pressed against Jean only minutes ago.

“How did you two meet?” Jeremy asked, trying to seem disinterested.

“College roommates and a mutual friend. He took me under his wing. I was… more fragile back then. I guess you could say he was, as you put it, my rock.”

Jeremy nodded, recalling their previous conversation. “You’re lucky to have him.”

Jean frowned but said nothing. Jeremy wondered if he’d said the wrong thing. Before he could ask, their timer went off.

“Ah, they are done. Would you like to message Andrew and invite them to try?”

Jeremy couldn’t help but smile as Jean pulled the tray out to show off a dozen tiny golden meat pies.

—

Neil knocked on Andrew’s door, balancing all his goodies in his arms.

The door opened to a cozy-looking Andrew. A too-big hoodie and sweats.

Neil set everything on the counter and pointed to each item. “Large pepperoni pizza. Cheesy breadsticks. Coke. Whiskey. And the most disgusting flavors of ice cream I could find.”

Andrew raised a brow as he pulled out the tubs of ice cream. Chocolate caramel cookie dough, brownie batter, and Rocky Road.

“What? Like I wasn’t going to come with dessert? This one has marshmallow in it.” Neil gagged.

Andrew pulled out two plates and two glasses. Neil bit the inside of his cheek when he poured whiskey into both glasses and topped them with Coke. He didn’t like to drink without Jean, but he was just next door, and Andrew was safe.

He sipped the drink as Andrew loaded their plates.

When they were seated on the couch, Neil glanced around. “Is Jeremy already gone?”

“Left a few minutes ago.”

Andrew put a movie on, which Neil was thankful for. He had been nervous to spend so much time with Andrew. Especially after that morning.

It took no time for them to relax. Neil sipped on his drink and tried not to glance at Andrew too often. Neil wasn’t used to being attracted to people. It still sat strangely in his bones. Like a fracture that healed wrong. It hadn’t felt like this with Declan. Of course, the odd feeling came after. Jean had called it heartbreak. This wasn’t like that. This was something akin to a craving. Or an urge to reach out and pet a wild animal. Andrew would probably kill him if he knew Neil was referring to him as a wild animal.

“You think too loud.”

Neil sighed. “Yeah.”

Andrew cut him a glance, but Neil focused back on the movie. He wasn’t sure he understood the movie. How could a single pill change how you saw reality? He decided not to ask.

By the time the movie ended, Neil had finished his drink. And he was feeling it. His vision was delayed. His head floaty. He glanced to the front door. Only fifty-six steps away. And the balcony was only fifteen. He could still calculate that at least. He was fine.

“Let’s play a game,” Andrew said, pulling Neil’s attention. He had turned off the TV.

“You don’t strike me as someone who plays games.”

“Truth for a truth. I ask you something, you answer honestly. You ask me something.”

“What if it’s something I don’t want to answer?”

“I ask something else.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Neil eyed Andrew carefully. Had he intentionally gotten him tipsy? Did it matter? If he didn’t want to answer, he didn’t have to. Andrew said so himself.

“Okay. Go ahead.”

“Why do you scope out the exits of every room you enter?”

Neil tensed. He was going straight for the throat then. “I spent the first nineteen years of my life running from someone. I don’t like to feel trapped. I like to have an escape plan.”

Andrew seemed surprised. Like he hadn’t expected such an honest answer. Neil would blame the alcohol.

“Why do you wear those armbands?” Neil had never seen Andrew’s forearms. But he’d seen the bands peeking out even when wearing long sleeves.

“To cover self-inflicted scars.”

Neil swallowed. Andrew’s honesty was a surprise.

“Who were you running from?” Andrew asked next.

“My father.” Vague enough. He tilted his head and asked. “Why don’t you like apologies?”

“I don’t believe in regret or shame. And most people don’t mean it when they apologize.”

Neil’s head was buzzing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or just learning more about Andrew.

“How did you and Jean end up together?”

“We met in college. Roommates. A mutual friend. Same sports team. Our paths just kept crossing. Like fate was bringing us together. One day, someone from his past came looking for him, and I saw myself. I stepped in. From that moment on, he was mine.”

Andrew’s jaw ticked.

A phone buzzed loudly on the table. Andrew snatched it up and raised a brow. “We’ve been summoned.”

They cleaned up their mess and made their way next door.

Neil hummed as the smell of food hit his nose. He loved coming home to Jean’s cooking.

“You didn’t burn the place down.” Andrew’s tone was bored, but there was a hint of pride in his eyes.

“Jean was a very good teacher.”

“Don’t stroke his ego, it's big enough,” Neil scoffed.

Jeremy laughed. He expected Jean to as well. But instead, his roommates' eyes narrowed on him. He closed the distance between them and grabbed his chin, inspecting his eyes carefully.

“You’ve been drinking?” Jean asked. He shot Andrew a look.

“I had one.”

“One what?” Jean snapped.

Neil gently grabbed Jean’s wrist and pulled his hand away. He slipped into French. “It’s alright. He didn’t pressure me. I chose to.”

“Without me there?” Jean hissed.

“I knew you were close by. And I trust him.”

Jean cut his eyes to Andrew again.

Neil squeezed his wrist gently before switching back to English. “Jeremy, show us what you made.” He ignored the curious look from Andrew.

Jean pulled out a couple of plates, the tension gone from his shoulders. Good. Neil hadn’t intended to worry him.

The pies were delicious. Jean told the story of Jeremy’s mistake but was optimistic for him to be able to do it with less assistance next time.

“Thank you for indulging me.” Jeremy smiled. Jean’s cheeks bloomed.

“I enjoyed your company.”

The pair talked about Cat as they cleaned the kitchen. Neil sipped a water. He hadn’t had whiskey in a while, and it had caught up with him quickly.

Andrew nudged him in the arm. “You don’t drink?” he asked in German.

Neil dipped his chin. “No. Not typically.”

“So why did you?” Andrew’s eyes were searching.

He shrugged.

“Truth.”

“It’s my turn,” Neil pointed out.

“I’ll owe you two.” His look said he wanted this answer.

“I only drink with Jean because I don’t like to feel fuzzy, in case…”

Andrew continued to wait. That hadn’t been what he’d asked. So much for skirting it.

Neil sighed, “I trust you.”

Andrew’s jaw ticked again.

“It was only one drink. I’m fine.”

“Ready, Drew?” The nickname snapped them from their moment. Jeremy gestured to the door. “We’ve taken up enough of their time.”

Jean slid his arm around Neil’s shoulder. “I’ll see you at the gym?”

Jeremy agreed, and he and Andrew left.

When the door closed, Jean let go of Neil and crossed his arms.

“I’m fine. It was one drink.”

“You don’t even drink with Kevin.”

“Because Kevin downs a bottle of vodka in less than an hour. I wouldn’t trust him with a pet rock while drinking.”

Jean snorted. “So what is it about Andrew? Why do you trust him?”

Neil shrugged. “You know how some people make me antsy?”

Jean nodded. “Dan says you’re an empath.”

“Well, Andrew doesn’t. He’s like… this gravitational pull that makes me feel grounded.”

“We have got to confirm if they’re dating.”

“If they are, we have to move.”

Jean blinked at Neil. “What?”

“Look. I’m not used to this whole feeling something for someone thing. I don’t want to watch them be happy together.”

Jean shook his head. “Always a runner.”

Neil recoiled. That wasn’t fair. He hadn’t run in years. Sure, he still struggled, but didn’t everyone? “I’ve been better.”

Jean arched a brow. “When was the last time you had a reason to run?”

Neil bit the inside of his cheek. Jean was right. He hated that he was right. He’d been safe for so long, and now. This feeling in his chest reminded him of the fear that had fueled his feet for so long. Would he always be a runner? Anytime something went wrong or threatened his peace, would he be tempted to run?

—

Jeremy plopped on the couch and sighed. “I’m hopeless.”

Andrew snorted. He had an ice cream in hand.

“Jean was… it felt like he was flirting with me. But did you see the way he was with Neil? The way he took his chin in his hand?”

Andrew paused with a bite of ice cream. “They are protective of each other. Neil doesn’t drink. Jean was worried.”

“If he doesn’t drink. Why did he?”

Andrew tapped his spoon against the side of his ice cream and looked at Jeremy for a long moment. “He said he trusts me.”

Jeremy’s mouth fell open. He knew Andrew well enough to see that he was pleased. Trust was a big deal to Andrew. “He’s practically made for you.”

Andrew shot him a glare. That might have been too far. “He’s with Jean.”

“Do we know that for a fact?”

“Neil told me how they got together.”

“Wait, you asked?”

Andrew didn’t respond.

Jeremy threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. “Of course they’re together. The two of them are stunning. They’d be idiots to not be together.”

There was a long silence before Andrew tugged on Jeremy’s shirt. He peeked out and saw that Andrew had replaced the ice cream with rubbing alcohol and cotton pads. He sighed before pulling off his shirt and spinning so his back was to Andrew.

“Do they still hurt?”

Jeremy nodded. “They sting at the gym.”

“Because of the sweat.”

A gentle press to one of the long scratches had him sucking air through his teeth.

“Ananya’s cat is a devil.”

Jeremy laughed. “No. He just gets really excited about wet food. I forgot to lock him up when I was making his dinner. She warned me last time I watched him. This is my fault.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t your fault.”

Jeremy let out another hiss as Andrew continued to clean the wounds.

—

Jean knocked on Jeremy’s training room door and waited for him to call for him to come in. When he walked in, he stopped short. Jeremy’s back was to him, and he was putting on a tank top. But not quick enough that Jean didn’t see the marks down his back. His own face flushed as he realized what he was seeing. Andrew must have done that. Well, if there was any question about whether they were dating, it was gone.

“Good morning, my friend.”

Jean smiled at the French greeting. He was enjoying it way too much. The way his accent sounded on Jeremy’s tongue was intoxicating. Dangerously so.

“I had a lot of fun last night. Thank you again for taking the time.”

“Of course. Your company is always pleasant.”

Jeremy’s face flushed. “I hope Neil is alright. You seemed worried about him.”

Jean glanced away. He pulled his water bottle out of his bag. “Yes. He doesn’t usually drink without me there. He has reservations about doing so. He seems to trust Andrew quite a bit.”

Jeremy was silent for a moment. “They seem to speak the same language. And I don’t mean German.”

Jean met his eyes. Was he accusing them of something? “Neil would never do anything untoward.” He couldn’t help the defensiveness he felt.

“Oh, no, I didn’t think he would. I’m just not used to Andrew being so… accepting. It’s nice. I’m glad that we met you two.”

Jean frowned at the flush on Jeremy’s face.

“Anyway, give me two minutes and we can get started.” Jeremy hurried from the room, leaving Jean confused.

He typed a message into the groupchat. ‘I think Jeremy keeps flirting with me. But I just saw nail marks on his back. He’s definitely sleeping with Andrew.’

Allison was the first to respond. ‘Wait, he’s with Andrew and he’s flirting with you?’

‘Maybe?’

‘Nail marks on his back?’ Neil sent.

‘Unmistakably.’

‘We don’t know that it was Andrew.’

‘Have you actually seen them kiss or anything?’ Dan asked.

Jean wasn’t sure he’d even seen them touch. ‘No.’

‘Then that’s not proof.’

Jean didn’t get a chance to respond because Jeremy returned. He would worry about it later.

—

Neil sat across from Andrew with his coffee in hand. Andrew was once again sucking whipped cream off his straw.

“You owe me two truths,” Neil said. He’d been debating on what to ask. It was obvious Andrew didn’t like small talk, but he didn’t seem the type to like personal questions either. However, he had answered Neil’s last night.

Andrew looked at him expectantly.

“Tell me something about yourself. Something important.”

“That’s not a question.”

Neil sighed. He assumed Andrew wouldn’t offer anything, but it had been worth a shot. He reached over and tapped Andrew’s forearm, making him pause. “Why?” he asked in German.

Andrew’s eyes snapped down to where Neil’s finger rested on him. “It helped quiet my mind at a time where I needed it to be silent.”

Neil pulled his hand back. Considering Andrew for a moment. “What were you trying to block out?”

Andrew’s jaw clenched. “Someone.”

Neil understood then. Someone had hurt him. Enough to make him hurt himself and to lock himself behind that wall of apathy.

“My turn.”

Neil sat back and took a sip of his coffee. He was sure that whatever question Andrew asked, it would be a deep one.

“Are you still running?”

Neil frowned. That hadn’t been what he expected. He thought back to his conversation with Jean. Was he? “Not most days. And not for the same reasons.”

“Jean keeps you here.” It wasn’t a question, but Neil offered an answer anyway.

“He helps. Some days I still get the urge. Those are my bad days.”

Andrew licked the whipped cream from his straw again. Neil’s heart raced as he decided to pry further.

“Who was the someone?” There would come a point when Andrew was done playing. But for now, he was going to learn as much about him as he could.

Andrew’s eyes darkened. “Foster brother.” He spit the words like they were acid.

Foster brother? Were he and Aaron in the foster system? He’d said his mom died. Is that how he ended up there?

Andrew leaned forward across the table now. “What do your bad days look like?”

Neil blinked. He was so caught up in the story of Andrew that he barely processed the question. “Jumpy. Can’t sit still. Don’t like closed spaces. Sharp objects put me on edge.” He listed them like they were grocery items and not triggers that had his feet hitting the ground at speed.

Andrew stared at him blankly. “There’s a story there. I’m curious to hear the whole thing.”

Neil saw his opportunity. “I’ll trade you. Story for a story.”

Andrew’s lip quirked just so. “Not here.”

Neil was scrambling to follow Andrew, who had stood abruptly and headed for the door.

—

Jeremy set the three paintings on his bed. He had promised Laila he’d hang them up and send a picture. But he was a terrible friend and had forgotten. She had texted him demanding to see them. He knew it was late and his neighbors would likely murder him. But he’d be quick about it.

He started to put the first nail in when Andrew appeared in his door.

“It’s almost nine.”

“Yeah, sorry, Laila text me. Oh, also, her and Cat wanna meet for coffee.”

Andrew raised a brow at him.

“They really want to meet Jean,” He shrugged.

He finished hammering the nail and hung the picture. It was a sunset of the beach they frequented together. Laila had gotten into photography a few years back and really had a knack for it.

He hammered in the second nail before Andrew said anything else. “Did you invite Jean to get coffee with you?”

Jeremy sent him a sheepish smile. “I was thinking we could intrude on your coffee date with Neil so it’s less obvious.”

“We only get coffee when you and Jean are at the gym.”

He hammered in the last nail. “Yeah. I was thinking you could invite him and Jean, and then, oops, here are my two best friends.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Smitten.”

Jeremy put up the other two pictures. One was a field of daisies, and the last was a lab with a tennis ball in his mouth.

“So is that a yes?” he gave Andrew his best smile.

Andrew waved a dismissive hand.

“You’re the best,” he called after his retreating back.

—

If Neil had doubts before about how he felt toward Andrew, they were gone. The two had exchanged life stories in the front of Andrew’s car. Everything about Andrew made sense now. It made him want to card his fingers through blonde strands. It made him want to bundle him in loose hoodies and watch stupid movies. It made him want to kill anyone who dared hurt Andrew. He hoped Jeremy did those things because Andrew deserved it.

“You’re spiraling,” Jean said when he stepped into the living room. His hair was still damp from his shower.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

Neil was pacing. He was half a step from bolting out the door and running. But he couldn’t outrun his feelings. That was one thing he’d never been able to outrun. Not his fear. Not his anger. And now not this.

“Neil,” Jean’s tone shifted. He was in front of him now. His hand cupping his cheek.

Neil looked up into grey eyes and leaned into Jean’s touch, letting himself be grounded.

“What happened? You were alright when I left.”

“Andrew,” Neil breathed.

Jean’s grip tensed. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. No. We just… spent some time together today.”

Jean waited for him to continue, but he didn’t know how. What could he say?

“Did he say something?”

“I care about him, Jean. He told me things about himself, and I just feel…”

Jean’s expression shifted to a sympathetic smile. “I wish I could tell you it gets easier. It does not.”

Neil slumped into Jean’s chest. “I hate it.”

Jean wrapped his arms around Neil and pressed a kiss to his temple. “You could have anyone.”

“I don’t want anyone. I want him.”

A gentle thud made both of their heads snap up.

“What is that?” Neil walked deeper into the apartment until he reached the far end of the hall. He pressed his ear to it. The thudding continued.

Jean winced.

Neil frowned. “What?”

“It sounds like a headboard hitting a wall.”

Neil jerked away from the wall. “No.”

Jean pressed his ear to the wall and listened. It was rhythmic. There was a brief pause before it started up again. “Neil, I think you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that Jeremy and Andrew are together.”

“We don’t know that it’s them together. Maybe it’s just Jeremy or…” he trailed off when Jean gave him an annoyed look.

“I hate to say, but we may have missed out.”

“No.” Neil insisted, pressing his ear to the wall again. “I hear voices. Can you tell what’s being said?”

He and Jean listened carefully, both pressed up against the wall, but they could only barely make out garbled sounds.

“I’m going over there.” Neil pulled away.

“What? No you are not.”

“We need to know. If they answer the door half naked, then—“

“Absolutely not. What are you going to say? I heard banging and was wondering if you two are having sex?”

“I think that goes against the rules of the bet.”

Jean smacked Neil in the head.

He swatted him away. “We’re never gonna find out for sure.”

“I saw scratches on Jeremy’s back. I’m pretty sure I caught them right after they finished before. And they talk about each other like the other hung the moon. They’re dating.”

“Wait, I have an idea. What if we hire a guy to flirt with Jeremy?”

Jean’s face scrunched in displeasure. “That is the worst idea ever.”

“No it’s not. Come on. We— oh, the banging stopped. See, they couldn’t have been fucking. That was so fast.”

Jean rolled his eyes. “You’re a deplorable miscreant.”

—

Andrew parked in front of the coffee shop by Jeremy’s gym. He had suggested they do a different coffee shop, mostly because he liked to think the one closer to their apartment was just for him and Neil.

The entire car ride had been Jeremy telling Jean and Neil everything he could about Cat and Laila, who were meeting them there. Jean had paid eager attention. Neil only partially paid attention. Not that he could blame him.

When they climbed out, the two girls descended on them. Andrew stepped back, letting Neil and Jean be crowded.

Only when Neil took an anxious step back did Andrew clear his throat. “Coffee’s inside.”

Neil shot him a grateful look.

They ordered their coffee and found a table at the back. Andrew noticed the anxious glance to the exits before Neil sat. He also noticed the way his knee bounced next to him as he answered Laila’s less personal questions.

He leaned over and asked in German, “Bad day?”

Neil frowned at him as if he didn’t understand why Andrew was asking. In answer, he pressed his leg against Neil’s bouncing one. It stilled instantly.

“Some people make me… antsy.”

“High energy people.” Andrew nodded. “They can be a bit much. But they’re harmless.”

“They seem nice. They just demand a lot of my attention.”

Andrew had to fight the urge to put a comforting hand on his leg.

“Neil?” A voice asked, making the entire table turn.

A tall, thin, blonde approached with a wide grin.

Neil tensed next to him. And Jean bristled. Whoever this guy was, he was not a friend.

“Owen,” Neil said the name with a hint of malice.

Owen’s eyes raked down Neil, and his smile was almost predatory. “Been a while. Still looking good.”

“He still doesn’t swing,” Jean snapped. And wasn’t that a curious thing to say?

“I see your shadow is still around,” Owen shot Jean an annoyed glare.

“Do you need something, Owen?” Neil asked, still tense. His anxious muscles had gone taught, like he was prepared to bolt at a moment's notice.

“Just wanted to say hi.”

“Consider it done.” Jean’s tone was more hostile than Andrew had ever heard it. His hands were clenched on the table, like he was ready to fight.

Owen rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you around, Neil.” He gave another slow once-over that had Andrew wanting to reach for his knives.

“Who was that?” Laila asked once Owen was out of earshot.

“He wanted you bad, Neil,” Cat said.

“He’s been trying to get in Neil’s pants for months.” Jean was still glaring at the retreating man. “He is the soccer coach at the college.”

Neil’s face was tinted pink, but his attention was on the horrible drink in front of him. The tension had dropped from his muscles at least.

“I can’t believe he did that right in front of you, Jean. No respect for the boyfriend at all.” Laila shook her head.

Neil and Jean’s heads snapped toward her. “What?” they asked in unison.

“Oh, sorry, are you two not…” She waggled a finger between them.

Jean’s face scrunched into a sneer. “I would sooner cut off my own arm.”

“I’d sooner help him,” Neil nodded. Jean threw a straw wrapper at him.

“Oh, so the whole doesn’t swing comment wasn’t you saying he was unavailable?” Laila tilted her head.

Andrew would have rolled his eyes if he weren’t so interested in the answer. Jeremy must have asked her to help him find out if they were dating. Not subtle.

“Uh no,” Neil shifted. “I just… don’t swing.”

“At all?”

He shook his head, and his leg started up again. Andrew pushed down the disappointment that tried to crawl up his throat. Instead, with the new knowledge that Jean and Neil weren’t dating, Andrew decided to do something bold. He placed a hand on Neil’s knee. It stilled, and Neil relaxed in his seat some.

“I can’t believe you thought we were dating. Did you tell them that?” Jean turned an accusing look on Jeremy.

His face turned pink, and he shrugged. “I said I thought you were.”

Jean scoffed in offense and swore something in French.

“You’re so touchy and close,” Jeremy said defensively. Andrew knew hi,m though, and he was thrilled. That meant Jean was available.

“So are you single then?” Laila asked, going for nonchalance. This time Andrew did roll his eyes.

“I am.”

“A looker like you? I’m surprised.”

It was Jean’s turn to flush at her compliment.

They moved on from the conversation easily enough, but Jeremy kept glancing at Jean. He was stupidly obvious.

Andrew kept his hand on Neil’s leg until they finished their coffees. It remained still.

Outside the shop, Cat and Laila said their goodbyes.

“Neil, Jean ,you two should come to the party.” Laila was talking about the gathering for Cat’s birthday she put on every year.

“Oh, that’s a perfect idea.” Jeremy smiled at Jean, who looked to Neil.

Neil shrugged. “Could be fun,” he agreed. He was more relaxed out in the open. Less like a trapped rabbit looking for an escape.

Cat and Laila hugged Jeremy goodbye, and they climbed into the car. As he drove home, Andrew tried to ignore the fact that Neil went from being off limits to a pipe dream.

—

Jean was setting out ingredients for the surprise Sfeehas they would be bringing to Cat’s birthday. He had liked Jeremy’s friends. They were a bit much, but he found them easy to be around despite their high energy. Neil, on the other hand…

“You’re anxious today. If you don’t want to go to the party, you can stay home,” he offered Neil, who was sifting through player stats once again. Papers strewn about the coffee table.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” The tone he used made Neil look up at him from across the room.

“I could see how antsy you were at the coffee shop.”

Neil scrubbed a hand down his face. “I don’t know how you do this. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin when Andrew is around.”

“I thought you didn’t feel that way with him?”

I don’t. I mean… when Jeremy is around, I feel… like he can see through me, you know? And then with Cat and Laila. I was so afraid they would notice that Andrew was calming me. And then Jeremy would get mad.”

“Why would Jeremy get mad?”

“Allison gets so mad whenever any girl puts a hand on Seth. And Dan doesn’t like it when the girls try to get with Matt at the gym, especially when she’s right there.”

“I don’t think Jeremy is like that. You and Andrew are friends. You and I are friends, and I touch you all the time.” Jean went around the counter so he could stand in front of Neil.

“And apparently they thought we were dating.” Neil threw his hands up.

Jean frowned. He had been disturbed to know that. Jeremy had called them touchy. Perhaps Neil was right.

“Anyway. I’m trying to learn not to run from this. But tell me…” Neil looked up at him with wide, desperate, blue eyes. “Does it ever go away?”

Jean sighed. “I cannot say for certain. Sometimes it can be fleeting. Other times…” he looked out the back door. His heart pounding as he thought of green eyes. “It just gets easier.”

“What if it’s not the same for me? What if because I’m different, it doesn’t go away?” Neil sounded so defeated.

“Tell me something. Would you prefer to never see him again? Or would you prefer to remain as you are now?”

Neil looked horrified. “I would prefer we remain the same.”

“Then do not worry. If Jeremy shows concern, we deal with it then. But I believe he will not. You said Andrew will not tolerate something he is not comfortable with, yes?”

Neil nodded.

Jean gave him a soft smile and pressed his lips to Neil’s temple. “Does this mean I win?”

Neil reeled back, swatting him with a stack of papers. “No. We still don’t have proof. Dan said proof.”

Jean laughed.

There was a knock at the door. When Jean opened it, he smiled when Jeremy spoke in perfect French. “Good evening, Jean. I am excited to spend this time with you.”

“I didn’t teach you that. You’re learning from someone else behind my back?” Jean pretended to be offended.

Jeremy’s face lit up. “Neil helped. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Ah, explains the terrible accent.”

“Fuck off,” Neil called from the couch.

Jeremy looked mildly disappointed.

“I am very surprised,” he insisted. “And I will teach it to say you properly.”

Jeremy beamed. And god, he was so gone on this guy. It was unfair.

He pushed the thought away and gestured to the kitchen. “Let us cook.”

Neil shoved off the couch. “You two have fun. I’m going for a run. I’ll be back in time for the party.”

Jean followed him with worried eyes.

When the door closed, Jeremy asked, “Is he okay?”

“He gets antsy sometimes. He’s fine.”

They got started on making the dough, and Jean was reminded just how terrible Jeremy’s kitchen skills were. Jean found it endearing as much as he did frustrating. He guided him through kneading, having to show him multiple times how to do it without stressing the dough too much.

Then he let Jeremy cut half the onion before he finally stepped up and took his hand in his, guiding him like last time. He was trying to do less of the work this time, but he feared for the dish.

“You’re so good at this,” Jeremy said, stirring the onions into the oil. He made sure this time.

“You’re getting better.” He said, pressing against Jeremy’s back gently and guiding the spoon slower. It was just enough to be touching, but not too much so Jeremy couldn’t move away if he wanted.

Jeremy snorted a laugh. They set the spoon down, and Jeremy turned to face him. Jean took a step back. “You’re just being nice.”

“Is that a crime?”

“It should be.”

His brows rose. Jeremy’s face flushed. Was he flirting with him?

“Why is that?” he asked.

“You’re already good-looking and talented. You should be an asshole.”

“I am very much an asshole. Ask Neil or Kevin.”

“I think you’re amazing,” Jeremy muttered, ducking his head, but Jean could see the flush deepen.

Jean froze. That wasn’t Neil’s accent, but it wasn’t his. Jeremy was flirting with him. He had to be. He was rarely quite so forward.

Jean hooked a finger under his chin, gently guiding him to meet Jean’s eyes. But he said nothing for a moment.

“I taught myself that one. I hope I got it right.” Jeremy’s brown eyes were wide and searching, as if waiting for rejection.

“You are amazing as well.”

Jeremy’s eyes fell to Jean’s lips, and his breath caught. Surely if he were with Andrew, he wouldn’t be allowing this. They were close, Jean’s finger still under Jeremy’s chin.

Jeremy surged forward then, catching Jean's lips on his. Jean gasped. He slid a hand along his waist and up his back. He could feel the scabs under the shirt, and images of nail marks had Jean yanking back. Shit. Andrew was going to kill him.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Jeremy stepped away from Jean, his hand scrubbing at the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Jeremy did not seem the type to be disloyal. So then why would he do that? Unless. Hope was a dangerous and disquieting thing.

“Why did you?” he dared ask.

Jeremy met Jean’s eyes, and he saw the regret in them. “I wanted to,” he admitted.

Jean clenched his jaw. He wasn’t allowed to ask; it was part of the rules. But he felt the kiss warranted it. “I don’t think Andrew would approve.” It wasn’t exactly asking.

Jeremy frowned. “Did he say something to you?”

“No. But unless he shares, then I do not think he would be pleased.” Again not asking.

Jeremy laughed. “There is nothing to share.”

Hope swooped through Jean’s stomach, and he closed the distance between them. Their lips collided together again. The taste of wine was sweet on Jeremy’s tongue as he dipped it to meet Jean’s.

Hands pulled and tugged as the kiss grew more heated. Jean’s fingers wound through Jeremy’s hair, earning an eager moan in response.

Jean tugged, making Jeremy’s head tilt back. He latched onto his throat with his lips, kissing the trail of freckles he’d been dying to for weeks.

“Jean,” Jeremy’s breathless voice sent a shiver down his spine.

Before either one could take it a step further, the hissing of burning onions made them both jolt apart.

“Oh crap.” Jeremy pulled the pot from the stove as Jean swore in French and turned the burner off.

The pair stared down at the blackened onions. Jean couldn’t help but laugh.

Jeremy sighed, but there was a glint in his eyes that made Jean pull him in by his waist. “You are a distraction.”

Jeremy’s face flushed. “A good one, I hope.”

Jean brushed their noses together and whispered. “An amazing one.” He muttered.

Jeremy moaned, squeezing Jean’s arm. “You can’t speak French to me when we’re trying to cook.”

“Then I shall keep all my thoughts to myself until we are done. Yes?” he kissed Jeremy’s jaw.

“Yes. When we’re done, you can speak to me exclusively in French.” Jeremy sighed, tilting his head back.

“Then for now…” Jean let go of Jeremy and stepped back. “We need a new onion.”

Jeremy whined at the loss.

Jean was careful to keep them focused despite wanting to dump all the food in the trash and put Jeremy on the counter instead.

When they put the pies in the oven, an hour later. Jean turned to Jeremy. “You’re not seeing anyone?”

“No.” Jeremy smiled up at him.

“Neil and I were so sure you and Andrew were… if not dating then…”

Jeremy laughed. “Definitely not.”

Jean thought of all their supposed proof. “The night I brought you food from my restaurant?”

Jeremy quirked a brow. “Oh the towel? I told you I was about to get in the shower.”

“But Andrew looked…”

“Half asleep? He’d had a rough night the night before, so he’d gone to bed early.”

“The scratches on your back.”

Jeremy laughed again. “My friend's cat climbed my back when I was opening the wet food. I watch her cat sometimes, and I just forgot.”

Jean pinched the bridge of his nose. “The banging we heard last night?” He asked with closed eyes. He felt like a fool.

“I was hanging pictures Laila gave me. I had promised her and forgot.”

Jeremy tugged on Jean’s wrist, making him look into the warm brown of his eyes. “You could have asked.”

Jean was not about to tell him about the bet. Instead, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jeremy’s lips.

The door opened, making them jolt apart.

“Smells good in here,” Neil said slightly breathless and covered in a sheen of sweat.

“We leave in ten, get ready,” Jean ordered. “Wear the outfit I set out for you. It’s hanging on your door.

Neil gave him the middle finger as he disappeared down the hall.

The timer for the pies went off, and Jeremy smiled. “Thank you for this.”

“I will accept payment in kisses.”

“Deal.”

Jeremy took the pies from the oven and gave them a pleased once-over. “Cat is gonna freak.”

“Joyeux anniversaire mon ami. J'espère que tu vas profiter de cette journée.”

Jeremy moaned and pressed his forehead to Jean’s shoulder. “I don’t even know what you said, but it was hot.”

Jean laughed. “I said, Happy birthday, my friend, I hope you enjoy your day.”

Jeremy perked up. “Oh.”

“You should go get ready. We can practice in the car.”

Jeremy gave Jean a peck on the lips and hurried from the room, just as Neil came out in a towel, freshly showered.

“I’m not wearing this.” Neil held up the outfit. A damask black button down.

“Yes, you are,” Jean said, starting down the hall to get ready. “Because Andrew would like it.”

—

Neil did end up wearing the shirt, and he felt stupid in it until they reached the elevator and Jean leaned over and whispered. “I kissed Jeremy.”

Neil snapped his head up to see if Jean was kidding. Why would he joke about that? “What?”

“He and Andrew aren’t together. Jeremy kissed me.”

Neil was sure his brain had just short-circuited.

“Andrew’s gonna like that shirt on you, trust me.”

Neil bit the inside of his cheek. He did trust Jean. But that information was too much for his brain to process in such a short amount of time.

When they reached the lobby, Jeremy let out a long whistle. “Look at you two.”

Neil swallowed as Andrew’s eyes fell on him. He kept the same blank expression on his face, but his eyes raked over him. It didn’t make him feel slimy the way it did when Owen did it. It made him want to spin around and let Andrew look his fill.

“Thank you. You two as well,” Jean gave an approving nod.

Andrew said nothing. He spun and led them out to the car.

Neil didn’t do small spaces, but he’d never had an issue with Andrew’s car. But this ride felt suffocating. He ignored Jeremy botch the French language in favor of staring out the window.

Andrew said nothing on the ride there, which wasn’t unusual, but Neil could feel each time his eyes landed on him in the rear-view mirror. He pointedly didn’t meet them. He didn’t know what to do with the knowledge that Jeremy and Andrew weren’t together. He was thrilled, but it had almost been a relief before. Now the possibility made him feel exposed. Vulnerable. He hadn’t even felt this with Declan. He’d been terrified, sure. But it was new and exhilarating. He had been eager to experience the new feelings. Perhaps it was knowing how it would feel at the end that scared him. Losing Declan had been terrible. It left him feeling cut open and raw.

He shifted in his seat as they turned into a neighborhood. They were close. It made him feel antsy. Maybe he should have stayed home.

Jean placed a hand on his knee, which had started bouncing. Neil didn’t say anything, but he was glad Jean understood. So did Andrew. Perhaps that’s what scared him so much. Declan had known him, but Andrew understood him. Declan had looked past his issues, but Andrew held them in his hands and smoothed their edges.

He suddenly needed out of the car badly. His chest was constricting, and he couldn’t breathe.

“Breathe, Neil. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here with you.” Jean’s soft French tone pulled him from his spiraling thoughts. He met his worried eyes.

“I’m too much in my head.”

“Don’t think. Just feel. My hand.” He squeezed Neil’s knee gently. “The motion of the car. Your heartbeat.”

Neil placed a hand to his wrist and let the thud calm him. He nodded and gave Jean a small smile.

They parked the car and Neil scrambled out, letting the fresh air fill his lungs.

Andrew stood in front of him with searching eyes.

Neil gave him a small smile before slipping by him. He couldn’t face him right now. He couldn’t face the tugging in his chest that wanted to reach out to Andrew. So he focused on greeting Cat and Laila.

Jeremy handed over his plate of meat pies and spoke in almost perfect French.

Cat gushed as she took the plate and gripped him in a tight hug. “These smell amazing. Did Andrew make them?”

“I did,” Jeremy said.

Cat and Laila both blanched. “You’re lying.”

“He is not,” Jean said. “I helped, but he worked very hard to make them perfectly for you.”

They demanded details as they went inside. The large house was not busting at the seams with people like he had feared. Only a dozen or so people filled the space.

Laila introduced a few nearby before ushering them to the kitchen to get drinks.

Jean sidled up next to him and asked, “Will you be drinking?”

Neil shook his head. Not with so many strangers around.

Jean nodded, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I will be close by if you need me.”

“Go. I will be fine.” He shoved Jean toward Jeremy, but Cat tugged him away to introduce him to someone on the other side of the room.

Jeremy took that chance to approach. “Hey.” he shoved his hands in his pockets, making Neil arch a brow.

“I don’t know if Jean said anything to you.”

Neil didn’t respond, rather enjoying the way the taller man squirmed.

“I uh… I know he’s important to you.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “You hurt him, I break your legs. Simple as that.”

Jeremy grinned widely. “Of course. Yeah. I won’t.”

Neil felt Andrew’s presence behind him. “I assume you’ll give Jean the same threat.”

Andrew didn’t respond. Instead, he asked, “Are you okay with them together?” The German rolled off his tongue easily.

“Of course. Jean has been mooning after him since we met. Are you?”

“I think Jean is the first decent person Jeremy has gone for. Normally, I have to threaten his lovers. I don’t think I’ll need to with Jean.”

Neil could imagine how terrifying Andrew would be if someone hurt Jeremy.

Silence settled between them as they watched Jean and Jeremy lean in to each other's space, their fingers intertwining between them.

Neil wondered what it would be like to do that with Andrew. Would Andrew even like that? Did Andrew even do relationships? He had briefly entertained the idea that he was with Jeremy. But he could never picture it. Perhaps it was their stark differences. Or perhaps it was because he knew Andrew’s past. That didn’t likely leave room for relationships.

“You think too loud.”

When Neil didn’t answer, Andrew grabbed his sleeve and tugged him toward the back door.

Neil was glad for the fresh air. It always made him feel safer. They stood with their backs to the house, overlooking the large pool that glistened in the back yard.

“Talk,” Andrew ordered.

“About what?”

Andrew leveled him with an unamused look.

Neil dropped his eyes. Sometimes he wanted to kiss that look off his face.

“Truth?” Andrew asked.

Neil nodded.

“What are you thinking?”

Neil’s eyes snapped up to meet Andrew’s. The gold in them danced under the setting sun.

“How beautiful your eyes are,” he blurted.

Andrew reeled back, his expression darkening. He was half facing Neil now.

“Sor— I shouldn’t have said that.”

Andrew’s eyes were searching. “Why did you?” his voice was tight.

Neil wished he hadn’t said anything. He was going to push Andrew away.

“Neil.”

“Because it was the truth. And you asked for the truth. I can’t bring myself to lie to you even if it’s about that.”

“You don’t swing.” It was said like an accusation.

“Not usually. I did once. Years ago.”

Andrew didn’t respond.

“My turn?”

Andrew clenched his jaw but gave a nod.

“What are you thinking?”

There was a beat of silence, and Neil thought Andrew might not respond. Then he answered. “That you’re a pipe dream.”

Neil’s brows dipped in confusion. Why would he be a pipe dream?

“Why once? What was so special about them?” Andrew moved on, taking his turn quickly.

Neil huffed a laugh, leaning his head back against the side of the house. “I don’t really know. Allison says I need to ‘vibe with someone first,’ but I’ve ‘vibed’ with lots of people and didn’t feel anything for them. But he was different. And with you it’s even more so.”

Andrew froze.

Neil did too. He hadn’t meant to admit to that. His eyes landed on Andrew, expecting him to punch him or bolt. But he didn’t. He just stared.

“I don’t expect anything to come of it. I like what we have now, and I’ll never—“ his words halted as Andrew’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling them close together.

“Yes or no?” he asked.

Neil’s heart pounded in his chest. “Yes,” he whispered.

Andrew kissed like Neil might disappear. Like this was their first hello and their last goodbye. He kissed like his world started and stopped with Neil’s mouth.

He kept his hands clenched by his sides, refusing to touch Andrew despite wanting to.

When they separated, Andrew pressed their foreheads together. “You want this?” he asked.

Neil didn’t even hesitate to respond. “I want you.”

Two days later, Allison and Neil split their winnings. Jean couldn’t be too upset with Jeremy tucked against his side. Andrew, however, made Neil buy coffee for the next month, but Neil was happy to do it.