Chapter Text
Danny stares at the screen projected on a dingy warehouse wall in outraged disbelief.
In one corner, there's a paused video of himself, looking utterly bored while tied to a chair with a menacing white-faced clown hovering over his shoulder, mid-laugh. The rest of the screen is taken up by news anchors and headlines.
Newest Wayne Child Kidnapped in Joker’s Most Recent Escape - Gotham Gazette
2 mins ago
Ransom Posted for Mysterious Wayne Child - Vicky Vale
5 mins ago
Black Hair? Check. Blue Eyes? Check. Kidnapped by the Joker? Checkmate. - Buzzfeed
3 mins ago
The ransom video had been played on every TV station the joker could hack in Gotham -which was all of them- and as many outside the city as he could -which ended up, surprisingly, being a lot of the East Coast's main sources of mass media.
Danny would be impressed if he wasn’t so annoyed.
He can't believe this.
After all the work Tucker, Sam, and Jazz put into getting him out from under his parent’s and the GIW’s thumb, and the favors Clockwork pulled with the alternate universe for him to chill in until he can get the ‘My Entire Species Is Being Hunted By The Government' situation figured out.
Of all the ways to have his status as a newly fostered Wayne kid outed, getting kidnapped is what does it?
Danny was trying to lay low here, not cause an Incident. It’s the whole reason he’d stayed tied up like a nice, normal human with nice normal human capabilities that Did Not include phasing out of his bonds and disappearing into the night.
He should have just phased out of the kidnaping van and disappeared when he had the chance, but there were too many goons in the back with him to pull that off
At least his liminality made the camera a little glitchy and fuzzy around his face. Small mercies.
And this Joker guy isn't even all that great at this whole kidnapping thing.
Sure, the goons had snuck up on him when he was a little too invested in his phone -stupid move in Gotham, he knows- and had him into the back of a van before he really registered the threat.
Sue him, humans that aren't his parents or the GIW don't really register as ‘threats' anymore. Not with him being in a totally different league, on a literal molecular level.
Half dying will do that to a guy, who knew.
But the whole bag over the face, zip tied to a chair thing is so unoriginal. Uninspired. As was the 10 minutes of driving the van in a circle around the abandoned warehouse he’s found himself in.
Was there literally any way to make this whole situation more cliche?
For a Gotham Rogue, with the reputation of a mass murderer, Danny kinda expected more of a dramatic flare.
Maybe the Joker wasn’t a real clown. Maybe the guy was a Clown School dropout. He’s pretty sure actual circus schools exist, and there’s no way this Eyesore-With-A-Bowtie got his diploma.
And now he's going on and on about how he killed the second Robin who apparently bore a striking resemblance to Danny. Very creepy and True Crime serial killer-ish of him, but so, so boring. Danny's heard this revenge plot monologue from all sorts of bad guys, and it all boils down to the same thing.
Causing harm.
Something Danny is obsessively passionate about not happening to anyone if he can help it.
But until this live-stream ends, Danny’s stuck thinking about what he’s gonna do once the camera is off.
Planning his next move is not something Danny is given the time for often, it’s kinda nice.
He’s got three main options here.
- Wait for the Bats.
- Wait for the Waynes.
- Go apeshit as soon as he’s not being broadcasted to half the country.
And yes, in that order. Ever since he’d moved to Gotham, he’s noticed some strange things from the Wayne family.
Danny's not a complete idiot. Yeah, his grades say otherwise but he's always been a street-smarts kinda guy and well. It shows.
With this in mind, he knows something's up with his new foster family.
They're a great placement, super nice and supportive people. They actually check up on him, provide meals and snacks that don't try to attack him, and let him live in their house without random room searches or crazy strict curfews.
The manner is hands down the coolest place he’s ever lived, and it doesn't do its best to kill him all-the-way-dead every time he uses the front door! Best of all, not a single member of the Wayne family has tried to drag him down to a creepy basement lab on the few occasions where he slipped up and showed a little liminality.
Actually, most of them are liminals themselves. Not half-ghost levels, but definitely of the probably-died-but-came-back variety.
He fits right in, really.
The thing is, the longer he stays with the Waynes, the more he realizes that this family is more than a little suspicious. Especially what Danny's loving named their 'After Hours Excursions'.
Aka: when half the house disappears into the night on a rotating schedule and comes back a little worse for wear.
Now, Danny's not one to judge, he's done some sketchy shit himself, but with the seemingly endless supply of money, the unspoken hierarchy of a family dynamic, and the quite frankly concerning amount of weapons being carried on a particular 11-year-old, Danny has theories.
He's 85% sure that they're a mob.
It just makes sense, okay? He's connected the dots. And the dots don't lie.
But they let him live his boring little civilian life in peace, have fed and cared for him in their own ways for weeks, and have never once approached him about joining the more violent part of the family business.
That's better treatment than Danny got from both his parents and Vlad combined, so Danny's content to stay.
(After all, he can always disappear if he needs to get the hell out of dodge. He'd miss the little rag-tag family he'd made himself a home in, but he's lost one family, and he can leave another one behind if he has to.)
“You’ve got until sundown!” Joker says with a mad cackle, “Tick tock Batsy!”
And with that, the green recording light goes to red.
The creepy fucker turns to Danny with what he can only describe as a leer, “While we wait, I’ve got a treat for you~” He reaches a pale, bony hand into his pocket and pulls out a suspiciously green canister.
Yup. That’s it. Danny’s going for option 3 and getting the hell out of dodge.
Yeah, alright, with his ability to simply not breathe, he can probably afford to wait for hostage bail -or whatever rich people call paying for their loved ones to be returned safely- but this Eggplant-Looking-Motherfucker has a gleam in his eye that Danny very much Does Not Like.
“Wanna hear a joke?” The Affront-on-Color-Schemes cackles while fitting a mask across his grotesquely large grin. Pale, bony hands pull the tab, and a lurid green gas fills the room.
Danny shuts his mouth, and simply stops breathing. No way is he getting any of that stuff in his lungs, it looks radioactive.
So far, he’s been careful to keep as much of a lid on his ghost half, but this Clown-School-Dropout has officially crossed the line.
And really, who’s gonna be more believable? The terrified civilian hostage, or the guys working for a literal mass murder who just set off what’s gotta be the famed Joker Venom?
So, with a smirk, he lets the white rings encompass him, and rather than his usual, close to human looking ghost, Danny folds himself into his eldritch form, features expanding from his human body like an origami star unfolding to reveal a truly horrifying inner demon.
He's gonna have to be careful about how he does this. He can’t cause any more damage than a base-line human could reasonably do themselves, or there’s gonna be a whole lot of questions he simply doesn’t have answers for, but Danny’s also a 16-year-old and he deserves a little revenge.
As a treat.
The blood drains from the various goon's faces as Danny's form grows, but Lipstick-For-Days looks up at Danny's towering form of too many electric green eyes, iridescent claws, and multiple pairs of wings, holding the galaxy in their feathers, sharpened to a point.
Danny looked at himself in the mirror once to see what this shape looked like, and the constantly changing shape, reminiscent of a kaleidoscope in black hole, gave him a headache almost instantly.
Joker, on the other hand, looks utterly delighted .
Oh hell no, Danny's not dealing with another crazy fanatic. He had two of those for parents thank-you-very-much. Zero out of ten stars, would not recommend. And though they were on the opposite spectrum of hating against his entire existence, this look of adoration is somehow worse.
He’s only got a second to bemoan his luck with evil clowns before the goons gain their wits and start shooting.
Danny’s been in Gotham long enough to know that a majority of the population carries a weapon, and he’d gone intangible as soon as he transformed, so the bullets pass right through him, embedding themselves in the wall behind him.
There’s a chorus of panicked shouting that only gets worse as with a flap of his wings, Danny approaches the group, keeping half an eye on Opposite-Of-A-Spray-Tan, who seems willing to sit by and watch the show.
Danny spins, kicks, and flips, incapacitating the goons, and only allowing his feet and hands to become solid for the moment of impact. It’s a lesson he’d learned time and time again with a certain Vampire-Themed-Halfa, and then sparring with Pandora after that.
If it’s tangible, it’s fair game.
Though, this fight seems to be about as far away from fair game as it can get.
Danny’s trying not to be too rough, keeping his strikes aimed at arms and legs -painful but healable if broken- and ices wrists and legs together when he can manage it. Mostly, he’s trying to avoid landing hits to the torso or head where all the squishy human organs are. He’s got enough of a realm to rule, he doesn’t need to go adding to his population.
He also tries his best not to knock any of the gas masks off. Reviews seem to be mixed about the exact effects of Joker Venom, but he’s not willing to put anyone through whatever concoction of the week is in that gas.
Even if they’re shooting at him, Danny’s not that vindictive.
None of them get back up, and Danny knows they're not dead, but he feels a streak of pride at the ease in which he took them to the ground after the rough treatment they'd given him, dragging him here.
He turns his attention back to Color-Inverted-Pennyworth-The-Clown, noting the minor hesitation before the man charges, cackling madly.
Lipstick-for-days is surprisingly fast on those gangly legs, probably has to be to pose any sort of challenge to the bats, but Danny stays put.
A bleached white fist goes right through his face and pauses. “Looks like the new player has some tricks up his sleeve! How interesting.”
There’s a considering gleam in that sunken gaze, and yeah. Danny’s had enough of this.
Danny picks up Hair-Could-Start-A-Grease-Fire by the back of his god awful suit, looks right into crazed eyes, and drops him.
The startled scream from Spirit-Halloween-Makeup is almost worth the hassle of getting kidnapped, but when the man doesn't move again, Danny's a little disappointed.
Yeah, this guy may be human ( probably ) but Danny had hoped for a bit of a fight.
Oh well, at least he can do his Algebra homework while he waits for the calvary to arrive.
. . . .
Sure enough, about 20 minutes later, the door comes crashing down, sending dust into a cloud that blankets the warehouse in a low haze of grey.
Ooh, dramatic.
“Where’s Danny?” An authoritative voice growls menacingly from the shadows.
Danny sneezes.
He can make out vaguely bat looking shapes if he squints. Ooh, he was right! The bats showed up first!
Danny is kinda excited to finally meet them, but he's heard whispers of Batman himself not being a fan of Metas. Danny's not sure how much stock he should put into that, considering one of his brood is a Meta daylight vigilante, but Danny's not taking chances does a quick check to make sure he’s back to looking fully human.
Regular human fingers? Check. Nice, dull human teeth? Check. Two separate legs rather than a tail? Check. There’s not really a way to know if his eyes are glowing, but he’s like 80% sure that he’s gotten all the protective rage back into a near little box labeled ‘Obsession’, so he’s probably fine.
The dust finally clears, and yup, Danny’s looking up into the looming cowl of Batman himself.
He can see the exact moment that the vigilantes clock the pile of goons behind him, and Danny’s current position of using the unconscious body of Batman’s arch-nemesis as a makeshift table for his notebook.
Okay, play it cool, Fenton.
Danny grins, and gives a little wave. “Hi! Nice to meet yah! I was wondering when you’d show up.” He pauses, thinks about how that sounds and rushes to explain, “I mean, not that I was like, trapping you into coming here or anything. If anything I was the one trapped into being here, kidnappings, amiright? But uh, yeah thanks for showing up.”
Wow. He literally could not have been less cool if he tried. Great start.
There’s a moment of silence before the one with the red helmet- wait, isn’t that a crime lord??- goes, “...what?” in a tone of incomprehension so strong that it actually makes its way through the voice modulator.
Yeah, Danny brings that out in people. It's a talent, really.
“So sorry about the mess,” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. “I’m kinda new to Gotham, but getting abducted wasn’t really on my bucket list today. Things to do. Homework to catch up on. I’m sure you know how it is.”
The looks on what he can see of the bats’ faces suggests that no, they do not, in fact, know how it is. Welp. Time to make his grand escape.
“Uh, anyway…” Danny starts unceremoniously shoving his school supplies back into his backpack, “If you could do whatever it is you do with bad guys while I call an uber home, that would be grand.”
Danny shoots them a winning smile, hoping it’ll make up for the massive pile of bodies he’s trying to casually edge away from.
He’d defrosted the ice holding the goons to the ground or each other when the doors had burst open, but they seemed resigned to their fate, or too scared to have another go at Danny with the bats here.
A few steps from the exit a thought occurs to him, and he turns around, “Oh, hey could I ask a tiny little favor? Could you guys maybe not tell the Waynes about this?” He gestures to the room at large.
Robin speaks up, albeit hesitantly, “I'm afraid they’ve already been informed of your kidnapping and the attempted ransom.”
”Yeah, no, that’s fine. It’s more about the uh…” Danny hesitates, “State you found me in here. I kinda just moved in and they seem really nice. I don’t want to scare them away.”
More like Danny doesn’t want to be brought into whatever morally dubious nighttime activities they have. Letting them in on the fact that he’s a fighter would cement himself as a tool rather than a mid-average teenager.
”I don’t think you’d scare them away.” Tim says quietly.
Danny appreciates it. He really does.
”Yeah, I’m not super willing to risk it after the whole fiasco with my birth parents. They went a little psycho on me. Like, total evil-scientist psycho. Was not fun, zero out of ten, do not recommend.”
Batman makes some sort of grunt, but before Danny can figure out what that’s supposed to mean, Nightwing speaks up.
“Where did you learn to fight?”
Ah shit. That’s the question of the hour, isn’t it.
Danny laughs, a little too high and noticeably forced. “Fight?? Me? Ha, ha, that’s a good one!”
Nightwing stares at him, unimpressed, and Danny slumps. Damn. He really should have prepared a story here. Well, the gig is officially up.
”My bio mom was pretty into martial arts, so I got a few pointers from her.”
Judging by the still unmoved bats, Danny figures he’s not gonna get away with an explanation that vague.
Danny sighs and continues, “Alright, alright. My hometown ran into some trouble when I was 14, so I had to step up a bit. It’s part of the reason I moved here, actually. Trying to get out of the whole ‘hero’ life while I still can.” He puts his hands together in a pleading motion, and gives them the saddest puppy dog eyes he can manage. "So pleaseeee don’t tell the Waynes. They think I’m normal and I really enjoy being normal.”
He receives nods from a few of the bats, and decides that's good enough.
“Great! Thanks for the rescue! I’ve gotta get back, it’s super past my curfew, but you’ll probably see me again with my record of getting kidnapped. I’ll be sure to put in a good word!”
”Wait! We can drive you-“ Red Robin starts to offer, but Danny’s already slipping past them and out into the night.
“Nah, I’ve got it! See yah around!” He gives one last wave, and promptly books it.
He’s too far away to hear the Red Hood’s next words.
“Never could bring home the normal kids, could yah, B?”
Batman pinches the bridge of his nose.
