Chapter Text
Becoming invisible has always been an escape for him. Ivan slips on an old, comfortable leather jacket and sunglasses and enters the kind of bar no one of his status would ever bother with. No one even looks up when he enters.
The way people mindlessly fawn over him always makes his skin crawl. But for a short while, Ivan can be nobody at all. He's unnoticed as he sits down at the bar and orders a daiquiri.
It's not a very big place, but there's a stage off to the side with an amp and microphone set up. Ivan has no desire to perform in his off hours, so it's going to remain empty unless someone else steps up.
Half of his drink is finished when a tap on the microphone draws his attention. Ivan settles his gaze on the man standing on stage with a guitar. He's instantly ensnared, unable to look away.
He burns each detail into his memory. Chipped black nail polish. A silver barbell through one eyebrow, and half a dozen piercings in his ears. The chain hanging from his belt. Worn combat boots. Ivan refuses to miss any detail about him, no matter how small or insignificant.
The man clears his throat and introduces himself as Till. A perfect name. It burrows into his brain, and Ivan can already taste it on his lips.
Ivan expects the voice of an angel, but Till's singing is far better than that. He's so alive. Alive in a way Ivan has never been. Each word drips with passion, his fiery spirit on display through his voice.
He's never sung like this. Ivan sings only because it's expected of him, because Unsha decided he would have a singing career. He never sings for his own pleasure. But Till's singing feels joyful. He was made to sing.
Till's instrument perfectly complements his voice. He's clearly talented, more talented than any of the guitarists Ivan has met. How is he not already adored by the entire world?
Ivan only breathes when the song ends, and Till flashes an exhilarated smile before launching into the next one. He must be high on the adrenaline of performing. Ivan feels a rush, but not as powerful as this. Till's consumes him, and he becomes merely a conduit for his song to reach the audience.
Ivan's drink is forgotten as he leans closer, determined not to miss a single moment.
Till's performance lasts both an eternity and only a few seconds at once. Once he thanks the bar for their attention and detaches his guitar from the amp, Ivan leaps to his feet.
He can't allow Till to walk away. Ivan needs to lay himself at Till's feet and beg to be allowed to bask in his perfection, to hear more of his singing, for Till to carve himself into Ivan's flesh so Ivan can never forget him.
Till steps off the stage and sets his guitar case down on an empty table to pack the instrument away. He's gentle with it, and Ivan wonders if those same hands would be as careful with him.
“Till.” His name sounds as perfect on Ivan's lips as he knew it would.
“Hm?” He looks up, and Ivan decides that green is his new favorite color as he gets lost in Till's eyes.
Ivan pulls off his sunglasses so their eyes can meet, and a flicker of recognition fills Till's as he takes in Ivan's face. “Wait, you’re–”
Ivan shakes his head, even as his heart leaps. Till knows who he is; Ivan isn’t a stranger to the man who’s filled his empty heart. But he doesn't want Till to announce his identity to everyone. Ivan doesn’t want anyone intruding on their conversation to ask for pictures or autographs.
He takes hold of Till's arm, his fingers tingling at the skin-on-skin contact. He wants more, to feel every inch of Till's skin. But for now, he guides Till to the little hallway that leads to the bathrooms and the back door.
Ivan's hand remains on his arm as he stops and turns back to Till. He can be selfish and allow himself this small touch.
“You're Ivan,” Till states. It's not a question.
“I am.” Is Till a fan? But Ivan doesn't care about his own music, he only wants to talk about Till's.
Till doesn't say anything, staring at him in shock. Has he never met a celebrity before? He must not know what to say. It's adorable.
“I enjoyed your performance. Do you write your own songs? I've never heard anything like them.”
Till's cheeks fill with pink as he nods, turning shy. “I-I do. I have more, if you're actually interested.”
“I'm very interested,” he confirms with a smile.
Till blinks at him for a few seconds before giving the name of his Youtube channel. Ivan immediately looks it up and subscribes; he can't wait to listen to every song as many times as he can.
But that won't be enough for him. Ivan wants the living, breathing Till before him, not just a recording of his voice.
“Can I have your number?” He asks, since he still has his phone out. If he has a way to contact Till, Ivan can see him again.
“My number?” Till echoes, eyes widening. A flash of silver shows inside his mouth as he speaks, and Ivan realizes his tongue is pierced.
“I want to tell you what I think of each song. I'd also love to take you out to dinner sometime, if you're willing.” He so badly hopes Till is willing, but braces himself for rejection.
“Like on a date?”
“If you'd like it to be.” If Till isn't looking for romance, Ivan will satisfy himself with friendship. Being close to Till will be enough; it's more than he deserves.
Till recites his phone number, flustered enough that he stumbles over the digits a few times and has to pause to remember the last few.
It's immediately saved in Ivan's phone as “Till❤️❤️❤️” as he grins. Till didn't say no to his offer of a date. He must want his one chance to go out with a famous singer, to have a story to tell his friends. But Ivan is content with that. If he won't have a second date, it will make the first and only one all the more precious to him.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Ivan offers. He wants more, for Till to never leave his side. He doesn’t want their encounter to end yet.
“What if someone recognizes you? It's pretty crowded here, people might bother you.” Till frowns softly, and Ivan loves it as much as his smile.
“You don’t need to worry about me, but we can go somewhere else.”
“I play at some of the other bars nearby, but none of them will be quiet on Friday night.” A small, adorable wrinkle appears between Till’s brows as he thinks.
“We could go back to my place.” It's risky to offer, but he wants to be alone with Till. They can be the only two people in the world.
Till takes a few seconds to digest his words. He looks intrigued. “Just for a drink? No way that's all you want.”
He's never wanted anything as badly as he wants Till. Ivan leans closer, wondering how he can possibly be so lucky as to have Till's interest. “What else did you have in mind? I want whatever you do.”
Till licks his lips, Ivan carefully following the motion. “Are you seriously trying to hook up with me?”
“Only if you want to.” Ivan hardly dares to breathe as he leans in further. His heart is pounding, and he finally feels truly alive. He'd happily spend every day of the rest of his life at Till's side to never again feel so cold.
Till tugs him down by his jacket collar and kisses him. Ivan has kissed before, but never like this. Till's fervent, messy kiss consumes him, and Ivan eagerly drowns in it. If only he could devour Till through their kiss, so they could forever be together.
His eyes remain open, unnoticed by Till's closed ones. This close, Ivan notices how long his eyelashes are. He can also confirm Till is wearing mascara and dark eyeshadow, which only makes him look more stunning.
He presses against the seam of Till's lips, begging for a taste. Till opens his mouth and tangles his fingers in Ivan's hair, lightly tugging on the strands as Ivan maps every corner of his mouth.
A soft moan slips past Till's lips, the sound just as beautiful as his singing voice. Ivan wants to hear every possible sound from him, to catalog them all.
But they're still in public. As soon as someone comes looking for the bathroom, they’ll be interrupted. Furthermore, Till deserves somewhere nicer to be worshipped.
Ivan tries to drag himself away, but can't resist coming back to press his lips against Till's a few more times. He finally manages to stop, both of them breathing heavily. He's never been this hard before.
Till tugs on his arm, and Ivan obediently follows him out of the bar after Till stops to grab his guitar. He fishes his keys out of his pocket and unlocks his car, reluctantly removing his arm from Till's hold to climb inside after he helps him put his instrument in the backseat.
But Till follows, straddling him in the enclosed space. He bumps his hip on the steering wheel with a wince and only narrowly avoids his head hitting the roof, but Ivan doesn't care how undignified he is.
His hands settle on Till's waist as they kiss, delighting in the way they can almost fully wrap around Till's small waist. Till shivers when his grip tightens slightly, he must like it too.
“W-wait, stop for a second,” Till gasps, parting their lips.
Till must have realized this is a bad idea. He's going to leave, and Ivan won't chase him, despite how badly he wants to.
There's a few seconds of nervous fidgeting before Till speaks. “I would have had time to tell you if you didn't invite me over for sex five minutes after we met, but I'm trans. I don't have bottom surgery, so I get it if you change your mind.”
Ivan stares silently at him for a few moments as he realizes this isn’t a rejection. Till is worried he'll want to back out? He thinks Ivan could possibly find his body anything but perfect? However he looks naked, Ivan will love it.
“I don't care.” Ivan shoves their mouths together, catching a small surprised noise from Till as he relaxes, his tongue pushing back against Ivan's own until he tastes the metal of Till's piercing.
Till shifts forward, placing himself on top of Ivan's cock and grinding against him. He startles a bit when Ivan's cool hands slip under his shirt, quickly stealing Till's warmth.
Ivan caresses his soft skin, fingers drifting over Till's hip bones and up to the curve of his waist. He presses his thumbs in a bit, wishing he could be inside Till's skin, to feel him even more.
Till grabs one of his wrists and pulls Ivan's hand down to the hem of his pants, unwilling to stop kissing to verbalize what he wants. Ivan tugs the zipper down and slips his hand beneath Till's boxers. His arm is bent at an awkward angle to fit between their bodies and there isn't much room to move in the front seat, but he pushes his fingers through soft curls and finds the lips of Till's cunt.
He's wet, soaking his boxers and Ivan's fingers. The realization makes Ivan’s head spin, and he's sure he's about to cum in his pants. He did this to Till, and this reaction is his alone to witness.
Ivan can't get his fingers inside Till at this angle, and can only rub against his cunt. Till whines into his mouth, his hips bucking at the stimulation.
“I need to take you home,” Ivan groans, dragging his hand out of Till’s pants. “Can't touch you properly here.”
He's sure Till's going to protest, his eyebrows drawing together in the beginning of a scowl, but he breathes out and gives a hesitant nod before he scrambles into the passenger seat.
Ivan is so dazed that he's surprised he even remembers where he lives. He manages to pull out of the parking lot and onto the road, and one of his hands leaves the wheel to settle on Till's thigh.
His eyes keep sliding over to Till of their own volition, drinking him in. He's flushed, his hair messy and pants still unzipped. He's beautiful. The car begins to drift into the next lane as Ivan fixates on the curve of Till's neck, imagining leaving a mark.
“Focus on the road, idiot! You’re going to kill us!” Till hisses, reminding Ivan of the way a cat puffs up when it's angry. He stiffens once his little outburst is over, warily watching for Ivan's reaction.
But he can't possibly be angry in return. Ivan laughs, reveling in Till's flash of emotion. He doesn't mind Till being upset with him. As long as Till feels something towards him, he's satisfied.
Before he focuses his eyes back on the road, he catches a flicker of surprise from Till. Ivan resists the urge to look back at Till as he drives, but keeps stroking his thigh, unable to stop touching him.
Ivan has never been more grateful for the perks that come with living in such an exclusive building. The underground parking lot has plenty of space, and no one else is around.
He stops to pin Till against the side of the car and kisses him a few times before leading him to the elevator. Once he scans his resident keycard, the elevator starts moving.
“How much does a fancy apartment like this even cost?”
“A lot. But the security is good, no one has ever come in to bother me. Someone broke into my previous apartment while I was gone and stole some of my things.” He hardly minded, truthfully. But as his manager, Sua insisted he move somewhere safer. Ivan accepted because he wasn't doing anything better with the money, he's never spent much.
His apartment is the only one on the twelfth floor, and the elevator opens directly into his living room.
Ivan only makes it a few steps inside before Till is in his arms, kissing him again. He tries to slowly maneuver them towards the bedroom, but only makes it as far as the kitchen before Till ends up pinned against a counter.
Till pulls back to yank his shirt and binder over his head and toss them aside, and Ivan takes the chance to undress himself.
He gets his shirt off, but is too distracted admiring Till to work on his pants. Till has a treble clef tattooed on his left hip, and Ivan can't help but run his fingers over it. His nipples are pierced too, but Ivan isn't sure if it's alright to touch his chest.
“Just fuck me here,” Till huffs, pulling Ivan flush against him.
“You deserve a bed,” he murmurs against Till's lips, taking hold of his hand and leading him into the hallway despite the allure of bending Till over the counter.
“I'm not some virgin,” Till complains. He's so cute when he's annoyed.
He already assumed he wasn't Till's first, but Ivan selfishly wants to be unforgettable, for their encounter to live on in a corner of Till's mind once Till loses interest in him.
“I still want to take care of you.” He pushes the door to his bedroom open and leads Till inside, right to the bed.
Till grabs his arm and pulls Ivan on top of him as he falls back onto the bed, sinking into the plush mattress.
No matter how many of Till's kisses he has, it's not enough. Ivan kisses him again, sucking on his tongue and pulling a lovely moan from Till as he fumbles to strip him.
As soon as Till is naked, Ivan's finger sinks into him. Till cries out and his teeth sink into Ivan's lip, the pain just as heavenly as the pleasure Till grants him.
Till is hot and wet and absolutely perfect. He makes the cutest little noises when Ivan's finger moves inside him, and Ivan adds another to encourage him to keep going.
Bearing down on his fingers, Till tries to push them deeper. Fuck, he's so needy. Ivan can't wait to be inside him. He’s sure he’ll die without it.
Till whines and bites his lip when Ivan brushes over his clit, and Ivan realizes it must be pierced too. He gives a small tug on the bead, and Till's entire body shudders with pleasure.
It's worth breaking their kiss to tease, to prod at Till and discover his weak spots. “Do you need me so badly that my fingers aren’t enough? It's going to hurt if I put it in now, you’re still so tight.”
Till scowls. “I can take it—oh, fuck, right there!” His sour expression is instantly wiped away, and he moans loudly when Ivan gives him another finger.
Laughing, he kisses the sharp curve of Till's jaw, then a tiny freckle on his neck as he crooks his fingers to press against the same spot that makes Till shiver.
“Just put it in,” Till groans as he digs his fingers into the sheets, adding a soft, begrudging, “please, Ivan.”
Hearing his name fall from Till's lips so naturally makes it impossible to resist. Ivan finally frees his cock, precum spilling from the flushed tip. Ivan could cum on the spot if Till ordered him to.
“Fuck, you're going to break me.” Till is staring, practically drooling over the size of his cock. He clenches around Ivan's fingers.
“Do you want me to break you?” He asks with a grin. Till is more of a slut than he anticipated, but it's a welcome surprise. Every new side of him is just as wonderful as the last.
“God, yes. Hurry up.” Till groans at the loss when his fingers withdraw, his eager gaze fixing on Ivan's cock pressing against his entrance.
“Can you take it all at once, or do you need me to go slow?” He sets an obvious trap, hoping Till will rush right in.
“I can! Don’t treat me like I’m weak!” Till insists, falling for it so easily that Ivan almost feels bad for taking advantage of him.
This is the real Till. Irritable, stubborn and needy. Full of emotion he can't hide. He's so clearly flawed, but it makes him more perfect in Ivan's eyes. Till's sharp edges will draw blood and leave him with scars, shattering Ivan's mask of bland, rounded perfection to reveal the twisted creature inside.
Ivan shoves his cock inside all at once, and it takes every scrap of his willpower not to immediately cum. Till feels even better than he imagined, almost heavenly, tightly clinging to his cock as if he'll never let go. His cockhead presses against the front of Till's abdomen from the inside, forming a small bump.
Tears spring to his eyes, but Till refuses to complain. He grits his teeth and breathes through the pain, and Ivan feels the tension gradually drain from his body. He helps by tracing gentle, distracting patterns across Till's body until he nods up at Ivan.
Drawing his hips back, he pushes himself deep into Till’s greedy cunt with a groan. Ivan is sure he won't be able to last long, his release is already creeping up on him.
Till's nails harshly dig into his shoulders in response. “F-fuck, too big…”
“So I should pull out?” Ivan asks sweetly, already knowing the answer as he leans in for a kiss.
“Don't!” Till bites down hard on his lip. He looks so lovely with a drop of Ivan's blood smeared across his mouth that Ivan desperately needs to ruin him.
Ivan shoves his cock inside over and over, not giving Till a moment to rest. He can't possibly stop when it feels so good.
Till's nails harshly rake down his back as his mouth falls open. His moans are loud and unrestrained, as beautiful as his singing voice.
“You're so perfect, Till. So, so perfect.” Ivan sucks on a spot on his neck, adding a bit of teeth, until he's sure Till will have a hickey.
“Ivan!” Till shudders, and tears stained with mascara start to spill down his cheeks. But it's clear he doesn't want to stop from how tightly he's clinging to Ivan.
Till is even more beautiful when he cries. Ivan’s tongue darts out and tastes one of Till's tears, uncaring about the makeup they're mixed with. There's a hint of salt, and he follows the trail up to Till's eyelashes.
Tilting his head up and pursing his lips, Till silently begs for a kiss. Laughing, Ivan barely brushes their lips together before pulling back, making Till chase him.
“Gonna, fuck, gonna kill you,” Till groans, shoving their lips together hard enough their teeth meet and biting down. Ivan loves every second of it.
Once they part, each of Till's reactions is carefully studied for Ivan to determine how best to make him fall apart. Till doesn't have to say anything for Ivan to know he loves when Ivan's fingers dig into his hips and thrusts into him so deep he hits Till's cervix, and the outline of Ivan's cock is visible through his skin.
Till buries his face in Ivan's shoulder and wails as his orgasm slams into him, and Ivan can't possibly hold back. Till is weakly rocking his hips, silently begging Ivan to cum too.
Clutching Till close, Ivan blissfully fills him to the brim. He never asked if it was safe to finish inside, but Till isn't coherent enough to answer the question.
If Till does end up pregnant from this, nothing in the world will be able to stop him from taking responsibility. Ivan will happily marry him on the spot so he won't ever have to worry about anything.
Whining pathetically, Till tries to stop him from pulling out. He shudders as Ivan's half-hard cock drags out of him, cum dripping from his flushed cunt to mark the sheets.
Till is so pliant, easily placed on his hands and knees for Ivan to enter him again from behind. He's so pretty when he arches his back, eagerly allowing Ivan to fuck him again. He releases a beautifully slutty moan when Ivan tugs his hair to force him to arch further.
If he's only guaranteed to have Till for this one night, Ivan has to make the most of it. The only thing that would truly satisfy him is to slip into Till's veins and be carried along to his heart, to become part of the only person who's ever made his own dormant heart beat.
But Till isn't offering true intimacy, only a pale imitation. It will have to be enough for Ivan, despite how much he yearns for.
Till is pushing back into his thrusts, his breath forced out of him with each one. As soon as his arms shake, Ivan catches him and lowers Till to the mattress, keeping his hips raised. “I've got you. Do you need more?”
Nodding, Till gasps his name before burying his face in the pillow to muffle his cries as Ivan's finger drifts over his clit.
“You're so good for me, Till. I'll give you everything.” Ivan leans over his body to drag his lips across the shell of Till's ear, and feels him shiver. Ivan presses a gentle kiss against Till's neck before he digs his teeth in, tasting the thin sheen of sweat that coats his skin.
Till's moan is an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain, his head rolling to the side to bare more of his neck for Ivan to ravage.
Ivan tugs on his clit and bites down again, and Till falls apart. He drags Ivan down with him, it's impossible to hold back when Till is so beautiful and all his for the night.
His second orgasm takes longer to recover from. Ivan only pulls out once he's gone fully soft, watching all of his cum begin to spill again. If only it could stay inside Till forever.
Ivan lowers his hips so Till can lay down, nudging his legs apart and diving between them. Having Till twice isn't enough, it will never be enough.
Till sobs when Ivan spreads his cunt for his tongue to push inside, tasting them both. “T-too much, ‘m gonna die, can't take it,” he slurs, but spreads his legs wider and presses against Ivan's face regardless.
Till's needy reaction sparks his lust again. If Till wants more, Ivan will never deny him. He can keep going. He slowly grows hard again as he fucks into Till with his tongue, spurred on by his tears and soft moans.
“Do you need me inside again?” Ivan asks once he pulls back, rubbing the head of his cock against Till's slick folds.
Till wraps his arms around Ivan's neck in a death grip even as he tries to weakly squirm away. “Y-you got me turned on again, this is your fault! I hate you!”
“I'll take responsibility,” he promises, pushing into Till slowly as Till’s hatred easily rolls off of him. Ivan is so oversensitive that he's worried he'll cum immediately if he goes any faster.
“Ivan, fuck, I'll break!” Fresh tears fill Till’s eyes, but Ivan doesn't allow them to fall, tenderly kissing them away.
“You want me to break you, don't you?” Ivan keeps his thrusts gentle, trying to draw this out as long as he can.
Till doesn't say anything, but his moans are answer enough. He's shaking, burying his face in Ivan's neck so Ivan can't witness him fall apart so completely.
But he can feel Till crying out and drooling against his skin, unable to hide how good he feels. Till is incoherently mumbling curses and pleas for more, Ivan can hardly make out what he's saying. But he takes pride in fucking Till so well that he's been utterly ruined.
“Inside again?” Ivan teases.
Till makes a vague noise of assent, unable to speak properly. It only takes a few more seconds for Till to spasm around his cock as he cums, his tears staining Ivan's skin.
He isn't able to fill Till much when Till pulls a third orgasm from him, short and quick. Ivan won't possibly be able to get it up a fourth time, Till has wrung him dry.
“N-no more,” Till whines as Ivan pulls out of him.
“We're done,” Ivan reassures him, grabbing tissues to clean him up. He would carry Till to the shower if he wasn't worried Till would pass out under the water, and Ivan doesn't trust himself not to drop Till with how exhausted he is. Just getting up to throw away the dirty tissues feels like a monumental task.
“Didn't want to spend the night,” Till mumbles as Ivan throws the blankets over them, his eyes already fluttering shut.
Is Till that determined for this to be only a one-night stand? Once they wake up, Ivan will have to tempt him to stay as long as possible with the offer of breakfast.
Wrapping his arms around Till, Ivan presses himself against Till's smaller back, thrilled at how well they fit together.
“You're all gross,” Till complains, but makes himself comfortable in Ivan's arms regardless.
Till is almost instantly asleep, and Ivan follows him a few moments later, lulled to sleep by Till's soft breaths.
Ivan stirs when something moves against him, instinctively clutching it closer and trying to fall back asleep.
It moves again, pulling out of his arms, and Ivan cracks his eyes open.
Till is grabbing his discarded clothes from the floor and pulling them on. He looks beautiful in the soft morning light, his makeup smudged and neck marked with hickeys.
“Are you leaving?”
Till stiffens and looks back at him. “Yeah.”
“You could stay for breakfast. I know how to cook.”
“No thanks.” Till pulls his pants back on and brushes a hand through his unruly hair.
Till can't leave. He can't walk out of Ivan's life so easily after becoming the only bright spot present in it. Ivan wants to pull him back into bed and never let go.
But he says nothing as Till leaves his bedroom without a word. Ivan hears the distant sound of the elevator ascending to his floor, and then Till is gone.