Chapter Text
Shen Yuan's voice didn't even waver when inviting the Luo Binghe back to his apartment and he did an internal victory lap.
He felt like ordering the asshole roomate a fruit basket for giving him the chance to bask a little longer in the literal ray of sunshine that was Luo Binghe- but didn't he share a dorm with Mobei Jun? How could Mobei Jun have possibly found someone to hook up with in the few minutes since he disappeared from Cang Qiong? Well, he was the Ice half of 'Fire and Ice', the nickname given to Luo Binghe and Mobei Jun on the Campus Hotties fan page. Even if his frosty good looks didn't do much for Shen Yuan (on an aesthetic level, of course), the man could simply show up and still find a line of willing ladies to have fun with.
Shen Yuan didn't keep track of the two freshmen per se, certainly not in the rabid, sexual way so many of the women on campus did, but it was impossible not to pick up on a fact or two.
Like the fact that Luo Binghe never spent the night with anyone. Ever.
The altercation at Cang Qiong must have really rattled the poor kid. Shen Yuan felt his heart clench protectively. It was all good for a handsome man like Luo Binghe to be so free and casual when his partners were all women, but if he was starting to experiment with gay sex....
Shen Yuan had been subjected to way too many breakdowns and breakups by virtue of having Shang Qinghua as his best friend to believe that men would treat Luo Binghe well. Did Binghe even know how to be safe when he...? Sure, a lot of the basics were the same as with women, but STDs were no joke! A young man like Binghe wouldn't take proper concern for his own safety and they had already seen how difficult it was at the bar for him to say no to a pushy partner-
"Gege?" Luo Binghe asked, concern spilling from his young, innocent eyes.
Fuck. Was Shen Yuan going to have to give a gay sex talk?? He really couldn't, especially not with Luo Binghe. Just the idea made him squirm.
"I'm fine," Shen Yuan said, waving away Luo Binghe's worry, "just thinking about a project I'm working on."
"A project?"
"Ah, Binghe wouldn't be interested, I don't want to bore you."
"Gege-"
How was he so cute?? What was with this spoiled didi act?? You'd think Shen Yuan was bullying him, the way Luo Binghe pouted.
Even if it was boring though, maybe he just needed a distraction, some noise to fill the space so he didnt have to remember the way that asshole had grabbed at him like some kind of animal, touching a body that was meant to be worshipped and cared for not used and owned and he should have broken his arm instead of pulling back at the last second-
So Shen Yuan cleared his throat and began talking about the research he was doing into the long term effects of captivity on the breeding habits of cobalt blue tarantulas.
"I've seen those before," Luo Binghe said, frowning. "Aren't they poisonous?"
Shen Yuan chirruped happily, "Venomous, actually! And the venom hurts like a bitch, but as long as you get treated quick enough there's no lasting nerve damage."
No need to mention how many times he'd gotten bit and been less than vigorous about getting treated- it was a hassle to drop everything and go to the hospital when he was in the middle of an experiment, and he was fine! Really! And anyways, it all worked out; Mu Qingfan was delighted to use him as a case study for his own PhD research project on treating chronic nerve damage.
He flexed his right hand subtly on the steering wheel, an unconscious habit to check the stiffness and pain levels.
Luo Binghe was a very good listener, and Shen Yuan found himself rambling in that way Jiu-ge always hated, but every time he looked to see if Binghe was getting a blank look in his eyes, he instead found Luo Binghe staring raptly, lazer focused. No wonder women fall at his feet, Shen Yuan thought, his charisma is no joke. Even as a straight man he was having difficulty fighting down a blush!
Thankfully, it was a short drive and he was able to distract himself with fussing over all the details as he parked and bundled Binghe up to his apartment.
Shen Yuan was struck by how weird it felt seeing him there, like a celebrity had somehow been teleported to his living room directly off the screen. Luo Binghe was so out of place in Shen Yuan's shabby little apartment; a face as handsome as Binghe's belonged in palaces and five star restaurants. Shen Yuan swallowed. Weird. He was- here. Where Shen Yuan ate breakfast and graded papers.
"Yuan-ge's home is perfect." He murmured.
Shen Yuan fought back another blush.
"Binghe should sit. I'll bring you some tea and grab the spare quilt."
In all the many, many photos of Luo Binghe Shen Yuan had seen, none had done the real deal any justice. There was an innocence and warmth to Luo Binghe that felt like the world's best blanket. It made him want to wrap Luo Binghe up and hide him away so the world wouldn't have a chance to touch him. He'd keep him in the spare bedroom, treat his little didi with all the love and affection he so obviously deserved and was so obviously starved for...
Shen Yuan couldn't seem to stop blushing. He hoped he wasn't getting sick, he'd never forgive himself if he somehow passed it on to Binghe. That reminded him;
"Binghe-" he hesitated, walking into the living room and fiddling with the blanket in his arms, not sure how to say this in a way that wouldn't offend the younger man's pride.
"About what happened tonight,"
"Gege doesn't need to worry," Binghe said quickly, "I've learned my lesson. I'll only go to those places if I'm with you."
Shen Yuan nodded absently. Good.
"But still- Binghe must know how handsome he is. If you're looking to...experiment, then please let me share some tips with you."
Luo Binghe tilted his head, his curls shifting like a halo around his face.
"I thought gege is straight?"
"I am! But no one could be around Xiang Fei this long without picking up on a few things. Important things. Sit down, indulge this old man."
Luo Binghe snorted, rolling his eyes. "Gege isn't old."
"Ah, you flatter me. Someone as young as you wouldn't understand."
He flopped down, being careful to sit on the opposite end of the couch- Binghe had had his personal space violated enough tonight!
"Binghe- Are you ok?" He asked quietly.
Luo Binghe looked at him, surprised. Some raw emotion seemed on the brink of bursting out but instead he smiled, the smile Shen Yuan had mentally labeled 'trouble' when observing him from afar over the last year.
Before Luo Binghe could deflect, he added softly, "I'm sorry that was your first experience with a man."
For a moment Binghe's face was still, calculating, then his lip wobbled and his eyes glinted with unshed tears.
Frantic, Shen Yuan's hands fluttered uselessly between them, wanting to touch but unsure of how comforting it would be.
Luo Binghe removed that question by grabbing one of Shen Yuan's hands and holding it tight in both of his.
"I'd never questioned my sexuality before," he confessed, "it just didn’t seem important. But now- I know I want to, to try things and figure out for myself but-"
He bit his lower lip, trailing off. Shen Yuan focused on keeping his breathing even. Luo Binghe was still holding his hand, playing with it like a toy. Such an innocent scene if you didn't realize he was shyly discussing his gay awakening.
So. Cute.
"Binghe has to be careful," Shen Yuan admonished gently. "You can't just jump in the deep end and hope you learn to swim before your lungs give out!"
"Gege," Luo Binghe murmured, scooting an inch closer, "how should I start?"
"Ah. Well. First-" Luo Binghe's eyes were large and dark, fixed hungrily on him. So dedicated in his pursuit of knowledge!
Shen Yuan tried to focus, but between Binghe playing with his fingers, his broad warm thumbs firmly massaging circles into his palm, and Binghe's unwavering attention, he felt off balance.
"First, you have to pick the right partner. Binghe should find someone who cares about him, someone patient who can show him how to- to make it good. For Binghe."
Luo Binghe was very close now, Shen Yuan didn't know when he had closed the gap between them.
"I need to find someone like Yuan-ge?" He murmured.
"Ye-eh?"
One of Luo Binghe's hands continued holding his but the other started moving up, stroking lightly over his forearm. He shivered.
"Yuan-ge cares about me. He's patient. He wants me to be safe and feel good. Right?"
Distantly, Shen Yuan wondered if Binghe had ever studied hypnotism. His brain felt floaty and his body kept doing things he hadn't told it to, little spasms and movements that pulled Binghe closer, mingled their breath slowly.
"Yes," he breathed, "Binghe should always feel good."
Luo Binghe blinked slowly, like a satisfied house cat.
"What's second? After I find someone just like gege?"
"Um. You should- start small. Don't go immediately for- for..."
Shen Yuan stuttered, his embarrassment catching up to him.
"Anal sex?"
Shen Yuan cleared his throat and nodded crisply.
"Exactly. Some things shouldn't be rushed into without experience."
Luo Binghe's wandering hand was now resting heavily on Shen Yuan's shoulder, squeezing softly at the muscle there.
He considered Shen Yuan's words for a few moments, then sighed deeply.
"Even if I search a thousand years I dont think I'll find someone I can trust like Yuan-ge."
"...We met tonight," Shen Yuan pointed out dryly.
Luo Binghe shook his head. "Shen Yuan is different. No one has ever protected me like that before. Not since I was very young. You're so... good."
Earnestness shone from Luo Binghe's peerless face, blinding Shen Yuan temporarily.
Turn down the wattage, I'm not someone you're trying to seduce!
"If I can't experiment with someone I trust then," he winced a bit, looking uncomfortable, "It won't be so bad, trying new things with strangers."
Shen Yuan's chest felt cold. He couldn't let Binghe do this! Sure, a young man like him needed to stretch his wings, try new things, but the idea of him getting hurt- or, or even just not being treated as someone precious-
"No!"
"Yuan-ge?"
"Binghe shouldn't- that is, you can't-"
In a single breath he said quickly, "Binghe shouldn't do these things with anyone who isn't me."
Luo Binghe stared at him for a moment then grinned brighter than the sun.
Shen Yuan yelped and scrambled to clarify, "Not until he finds a real partner! I can, I can help you experiment, and. And practice. Since Binghe trusts me."
"Whatever gege says," Binghe said fervently, his body surging closer, "anything. I'll do anything. Gege, kiss me, please-"
It should have been terrifying, how seamlessly they came together. Their bodies seemed to have a natural instinct for how and when to shift, stretch, push, so that they could twine together there on the couch.
But it wasn't terrifying, it was right. It felt like breathing again before you even realized you had stopped. Their mouths slid together and Shen Yuan eagerly turned to putty in Luo Binghe's hands. Anything Binghe wanted he wanted too, his mind just hadn't thought of it yet so it was better, easier, to just let Luo Binghe show him what he wanted. And apparently that was a long, slow makeout that left him rumpled and breathless beneath Luo Binghe's wider body.
When Binghe nuzzled into his neck and began sucking enthusiastically at the tender skin there, Shen Yuan made a sound so embarrassing he had to slap a hand over his mouth.
Binghe withdrew enough to pout down at him. "How can I know I'm doing well if I can't hear? Isn't Yuan-ge helping me practice?"
What practice?? Shen Yuan screeched in his heart. Isn't this the work of a master? But he reluctantly lowered his hand. He had promised Binghe that he would help him, so if Luo Binghe wanted to hear him then Shen Yuan would do his best to overcome his embarrassment.
Binghe hummed happily and returned to sucking and biting at his neck like a chew toy. Shen Yuan certainly was making sounds as if he were one!
Binghe's large warm hands crept under his sweater, and Shen Yuan forgot to even be embarrassed.
"Gege," Binghe whispered in his ear, making him writhe from the ticklish sensation, "do you like this?"
"B-binghe!"
"I want to keep going. Can I?"
What was the point in asking?? Shen Yuan had already given permission, hadn't he?
Closing his eyes tightly he nodded.
The women on the Fire&Ice fan page who had bragged about sleeping with Luo Binghe had been unbearable, smug and breathless with wonder over his skill. Shen Yuan had rolled his eyes and even commented frequently, calling them out for objectifying an obviously bright, charming young man and turning him into some kind of status symbol sex toy. It hadn't gone over well, to put it mildly, and eventually when he got tired of making new accounts after getting blocked he pushed his way into being admin so he could keep things in check.
Now, as the young (so young, and vulnerable) Lou Binghe's hands wandered and squeezed, Shen Yuan felt like maybe he owed those women an apology. His brain was melting and they hadn't even done anything yet. He was going to embarrass himself by coming too fast, and then Binghe would find someone else-
Frantic, he pushed away, scrambling back and drawing his knees up protectively.
Luo Binghe backed off immediately, looking down at him with toussled hair and swollen lips. It was a devastating sight.
"Yuan-ge?"
Shen Yuan gulped. Give a straight man some face here, Binghe!
Binghe stroked his hands up and down Shen Yuan's sides, like he was a spooked horse.
"Did Yuan-ge not like it?"
Shen Yuan sputtered, but felt his embarrassed annoyance turn into panic when Luo Binghe's big black eyes began to fill with tears.
"No! I mean, yes! I mean l-liked it."
"If Yuan-ge liked it," Luo Binghe purred, tears disappearing almost magically, "then why did he stop?"
He pressed forward again until he was on top of Shen Yuan once more, but this time their bodies were fully lined up. Shen Yuan made a sound that was not a squeak, but could perhaps be easily mistaken for one.
"Could it be that gege liked it too much?" Luo Binghe whispered and rolled his hips.
"Binghe!" Shen Yuan scolded, but the effect was slightly dampened by how he clutched Binghe tightly in return and couldn't stop his own hips from pressing up to meet the friction provided.
When the size of Luo Binghe's dick, much lauded and discussed online even when Shen Yuan did his best to delete every sensitive post, rubbed against his Shen Yuan's brain shut down even as his body continued moving, electric heat pouring down his spine.
Luo Binghe propped his weight onto a single arm in order to rearrange Shen Yuan's legs, prying them a little further apart so he could slot their hips together more easily. Shen Yuan had to look away from the sight of his own legs spreading open, tucking his face into Binghe's bicep while his body was shifted like a pliant doll's. Shen Yuan hadn't been this close to a sweaty, muscular arm since he'd quit letting Liu Qingge drag him to the martial arts studio for sparring practice. It was mesmerizing, watching the play of muscle under tan skin, the veins running along it. He wanted to feel Luo Binghe's pulse, but his hands were busy...groping Binghe's stomach. That was obviously important, couldn't be interrupted. So he traced the vein with his tongue instead. Binghe made a punched out sound and settled his weight back on top of him. Perfect. That was good. To communicate this, Shen Yuan bit down, much harder than was probably polite.
It was hard to feel anything like regret though when it seemed to send Luo Binghe into a bit of a frenzy.
If anyone had walked in and seen them tangled on the couch, frantically dry humping and chewing on each other, it probably would have looked vaguely nauseating. But it felt so good.
Shen Yuan had never had much luck with dating, or much interest either. And even when he had dated someone, it had always felt a little flat. They were fine! Beautiful, funny, smart women who on paper should have been a perfect match for him! To his parent's frustration though, he'd always ended things before they got too physical. The spark just wasn't there!
Now though, it felt like there wasn't so much a spark but a conflagration, burning and burning as he raced to an orgasm that locked his spine into an arch, clutching Binghe's shoulders in a death grip as he cried out.
He was vaguely aware of Binghe swearing and pushing a hand down into his own pants. Shen Yuan kissed him lazily while Binghe worked himself, arm flexing wildly. He hummed in satisfaction when Binghe's eyes went glassy and his lips parted.
When he finally came, it was with a muffled groan into his chest, while Shen Yuan ran his hands soothingly through Binghe's soft curls for long moments afterward.
He must have drifted for a time because when his eyes opened again he was being carried towards his bedroom. For a moment he was completely at peace, nuzzling into a plush, muscular chest. Then, as Luo Binghe's foot was about to cross the threshold to his room, Shen Yuan gasped and squirmed violently, slamming the door shut as soon as his feet hit the ground and then blocking it with his body.
Luo Binghe blinked at him in shock.
"Yuan-ge?"
"You can't go in!" Shen Yuan's panic translated into a sharpness he hadn't intended. Luo Binghe flinched back as though slapped, and his stomach dropped.
Before Binghe could pull away, he lunged forward and caught his hand.
"Wait!"
And then they stared at each other for a long awkward moment while he tried to pull his sleep and orgasm-hazed mind back online.
"It's dirty! I-I just don't want Binghe to see it."
Luo Binghe cocked his head like a bird that's just spotted lizard, but the tension in his body seemed to relax slightly.
"Yuan-ge's apartment is very neat."
Shen Yuan could practically taste the trap in Binghe's words, but even though he had no hope of winning any kind of mental battle right now he had to try! The alternative was too mortifying to contemplate.
"I have a cleaning lady who comes by once a week," he said, talking quickly as Luo Binghe took a half step forward. "She doesn't clean my room though."
Shen Yuan kept his eyes on Luo Binghe's chest, knowing his inability to keep a poker face would ruin the half-truth if he glanced up.
The younger man shifted his weight and gave a temulous sigh.
"Yuan-ge doesn't need to lie," he sniffled.
Shen Yuan's eyes snapped up without permission, exposing him fully to the heartbreaking sight of Luo Binghe's lower lip trembling before he bravely set his jaw and said, "I know Yuan-ge is straight and only let me do those things out of pity. Do I disgust you now?"
Under the crocodile tears was an edge of pain, real and kind of ugly in it's truth. Shen Yuan reached out instinctively to cradle Binghe's beautiful face, wiping the tears away gently.
"No! Binghe could never be disgusting, what nonsense is this, ah?"
"Yuan-ge didn't like it," he insisted. "But I kept pushing."
"That's not-!" Shen Yuan's face was bright red, he could feel it. But the thought of Binghe blaming himself and feeling shame for his sexuality when Shen Yuan promised he would be his-! This was the opposite of what he'd intended when he volunteered to be Lou Binghe's... practice buddy. What kind of sex guide slash friend was he?
"I didn't dislike it. I wanted-," he choked a little on the next words but said them anyway. "I wanted Binghe to keep going."
"Then," Luo Binghe said, his eyes large and pleading, fully begging now, "can I sleep with Yuan-ge? Just to sleep then I'll be gone before you wake up, I promise. I just want to stay."
He took a breath and Shen Yuan felt like his heart was trying to crawl up his throat.
Luo Binghe never spends the night.
Shen Yuan's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes in defeat.
"Okay. Just- just give me a second to clean first."
"Yes, Yuan-ge!" Luo Binghe chirrped, no trace of tears left in his voice. He narrowed his eyes, but still inched the door open just wide enough to shimmy through.
Luo Binghe craned his head shamelessly, but Shen Yuan shut the door firmly in his face, with a sharp, "Just wait!"
Then he, very calmly and not panicked at all, began shoving things into the closet. Action figures, limited edition plushies, a large pile of rumpled laundry, three separate cups, and a few empty take-out containers all got smashed together in a way that he could tell was a waiting nightmare to clean. The uh, very reasonable amount of university paraphernalia with Luo Binghe's face on them all went carefully under the bed. It's not like Shen Yuan was a stalker! These were all legitimate university products and pamphlets, nothing more! Luo Binghe hadn't even modeled for them for very long, which was a shame because- well anyways, he just didn't want Binghe to get the wrong idea. He glanced around the room one last time, anxiously straightening his bedding.
"All right," he called, "you can come in."
Shen Yuan had seen videos of gamboling lambs that weren't as cute as Luo Binghe excitedly bounding in and perusing every surface of the room.
Shen Yuan bit his lip, torn between his desire to play it cool as if he wasn't virgin inviting someone into his bedroom for the very first time, and cooing.
"It's ah, not a very big bed," he said hesitantly, wondering if Binghe wouldn't be more comfortable sleeping in the spare room after all.
"Mn," Binghe said happily, "Yuan-ge will need to hold me."
Shen Yuan sputtered, but Binghe seemed unphased by saying such a thing out loud. So affectionate with his friends! Kids these days.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Would you like to shower? I should have some clothes you can use to sleep in. We uh, should probably get yours into the washer." He felt his face heating again.
Luo Binghe smiled wickedly. "Will Yuan-ge shower with me?"
"Binghe!" He yelped, covering his face, "we just-!"
Luo Binghe laughed easily and swooped in to kiss the hands he was hiding behind.
"So easy to tease," he murmured before pulling away.
Shen Yuan felt very normal, straight things about the fondness in his low voice and the way his hands tingled where Binghe had placed his lips.
"Go on," he said, "I'll bring the clothes in a bit."
Binghe nodded and casually reached up to pull his shirt off in one smooth motion. Then, glancing up shyly at Shen Yuan from under his lashes, his hands began unbuttoning his pants.
....what was Shen Yuan doing?? Watching like some kind of creep while Binghe got undressed! Just because Binghe had agreed to practice with him until he found a real partner and they had...messed around a bit, didn't mean he should take advantage like this!
He spun around to give Binghe some privacy, even as he knew the image of Binghe rumpled and shirtless would never leave his brain.
Binghe said something about leaving the laundry to him, and Shen Yuan managed to make a strangled sounding noise of agreement.
Once he heard the shower turn on he finally turned around slowly, braced like he was facing down a great enemy. There, lying almost innocently at the top of the pile of crumpled clothes, were Luo Binghe's boxers. They had landed in such a way that the evidence of their little 'experimenting session' was impossible to miss. He tried not to look too closely but found his eyes tracing where a thick glob of cum glistened slightly in the black folds.
Pajamas! He needed to get Binghe something to sleep in. He couldn't make his guest sleep in the nude, especially since he was already going to be inconvenienced by sharing a bed. With effort, he tore his eyes away and focused on finding something big enough for Luo Binghe. His hands hesitated over a pair of thin pajama pants that were big enough on him that they would probably fit Binghe's longer legs and wider hips. But probably wasn't good enough! He wanted Binghe to be comfortable, right? So he would keep coming back. And they could keep practicing.
Nodding firmly at this sound logic, he grabbed a pair of spandex shorts from his MMA days and an oversized t-shirt from some department festival a few years back.
Feeling much more centered, he tucked the clean bundle under one arm and dirty clothes under another, scurrying down the hall to drop off Binghe's pajamas (with his eyes tightly closed) and then to the closet with his stacked washer and dryer.
He hummed tunelessly to himself, carefully keeping his mind blank as he handled Binghe's clothes. Open the door. Place the laundry inside. Close the door. Pour detergent into the right holder. Check settings. Hit start.
Right before water began to pour, he jammed the Cancel button, breathing a sigh of relief. That was close! He hadn't checked to see if any of Binghe's clothes required special care. The t-shirt and jeans were fine, obviously. But some underwear was finicky, you could ruin a pair by washing them wrong, at least he was pretty sure you could. Hadn't his sister said something along those lines once? Better safe than sorry!
He snatched the boxers out of the washer and hit Start again. Then, after a moment battling against some desire he refused to put into words, he just...stopped fighting. Powered down his higher thinking and let his body do what it would. And that, apparently, was to bring the crumpled black fabric to his face and breathe deeply. Over and over. Another urge crept up in his lizard brain, and he just closed his eyes and let it happen. The bitter, salty taste of cum exploded in his mouth. He was lightheaded. Stars burst behind his eyelids.
A sudden lack of noise as the shower turned off broke him out of this weird fugue state. He decided that whatever had just happened wasn't his business, and he had other things he needed to deal with right now, so he raced back to the bedroom still clutching the boxers tightly. The bathroom door opened and he barely managed to shove them into his sock drawer and close it before Binghe entered the room.
He turned around guiltily, but got distracted by the sight of Luo Binghe in a baggy t-shirt and a tight pair of spandex glimmering beneath it . The strained elastic rode up his heavily muscled thighs, hiding about as much as some bikini bottoms Shen Yuan had seen.
Binghe fiddled with the bottom of the shirt, peeking at him shyly with an expectant air. Shen Yuan realized he needed to breathe. He sucked in a deep breath and had to cough a few times. Binghe hurried over looking concerned.
"Are you okay?"
Shen Yuan waved him off, "I'm fine, is Binghe- are the clothes comfortable?"
"Mn!" Binghe said and sniffed the tshirt appreciatively. "They smell like Yuan-ge."
I think I'm having a stroke he thought hysterically.
"Good. Then let's get ready for bed."
The process of brushing his teeth and taking out his contacts was familiar and soothing, made even better somehow by Binghe's presence. They moved in each other's space with sleepy contentment, as though they had always known how to.
They moved into the bedroom as a unit, turning off the light drifting closer together as they got to the bed. Before Binghe could climb under the blankets, Shen Yuan stopped him with a quiet, "Wait, Binghe, your hair. Let me."
Binghe let him position them, moving easily under his hands as Shen Yuan grabbed the comb from his bedside table and began to methodically work through the enormous mass of curls.
The light from the city seeped into the room, just enough for him to see even without his glasses. Their quiet breathing and the smooth glide of Binghe's hair through the comb created a hazy sort trance. He allowed it to carry him, feeling too content to bother with his usual inner-monologuing.
That's why it was such a surprise when he finally put the comb down and turned Binghe to see tears steadily dripping down his face.
"Oh," he breathed and gathered Binghe up until the larger man was curled in his lap, now sobbing openly. "What's wrong, hm?"
Binghe hid his face in Shen Yuan's neck and mumbled, "I want it to be real."
"Binghe?"
"I don't want to practice with Yuan-ge, I want it to be real." His sobs became too much for him to speak, back shaking under Shen Yuan's hands. Or were Shen Yuan's hands shaking on Binghe's back? He licked his lips nervously.
"Then Binghe has to stay," he whispered, heart thundering in his ears, "and not leave before I wake up."
Binghe lifted his face, hope mixing with a raw vulnerability that tugged at Shen Yuan's own heart.
"Yes," he gasped, and Shen Yuan felt his entire body relax as though some missing piece had slotted into place. He maneuvered them both under the covers as Binghe clung to him fiercely, as though he could climb into Shen Yuan's skin and live there.
He was mumbling something softly into Shen Yuan's skin over and over, like a prayer. As sleep began to take him, Shen Yuan realized what it was.
Keep me, keep me, keep me, keep me.
Shen Yuan would do just that.