Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Akane Tendo felt conflicted as she went through her morning routine. 

On the one hand, the things she had learned from the mantis shrimp alien were still weighing heavily on her mind. The worries had even followed her into her dreams. She had a nightmare the previous night in which big, grotesque monsters with yellow horns arrived in their spaceships to conquer the earth. As their ships blotted out the sky and her friends watched on in terror, the ogre-like aliens offered their thanks to her for infiltrating human society and paving the way for their invasion. It was a dream that hit way too close to her current paranoid fears and insecurities. 

Although, said nightmare had then taken an odd turn when Takakura offered a cow in exchange for sparing the earth. Bizarrely and without explanation, the aliens had accepted the offer and left in peace. 

Dreams were weird. 

That strange ending did lead to the other side of her feelings that morning though. She had borne witness to a real life cow abduction! After Miss Seiko had made the arrangements, they had all gathered at the nearby farm and watched in awe as a cow rose up into Mr. Mantis Shrimp’s classic-looking UFO via tractor beam. Until recently, she had known about this phenomenon only as a trope she saw in movies sometimes. It wasn’t until she met and started talking with Takakura that she learned about the historical reports of cow mutilations that the trope and associated conspiracy theories spawned from. Needless to say, Takakura was thoroughly elated to be present for that, and Akane wasn’t far behind him. 

“You’re kinda freaking me out, Sis, not gonna lie,” Nabiki said from her spot on the other side of their little dining table. “You’re making so many weird faces, I can’t tell if you’re having the best day of your life or the worst.” 

Akane slumped over the table and sighed. “I’ve been going through a lot.” 

“Aren’t you always?” Her dear sister replied half sarcastically. “Well if you need some relaxation time, you might be interested in who just contacted me.” 

Akane raised her eyebrow. 

Momo, Akane, Ranma, and Okarun all let out a collective sigh as they slumped down on a couple of benches outside of the school building during lunch. 

“Man. School really blows when you’re the center of attention,” Momo complained. The others nodded in agreement. 

“Welcome to my world,” Akane muttered. “Although, I think I’d take fighting the idiots at Furinkan to this. This is way more embarrassing…” She turned to look at Ranma. “Why are you bummed out though? They shouldn’t have any idea that was you in the halls with us.” 

“They don’t, but that doesn’t make it any more tolerable listening to them talk about me like that,” he explained with an annoyed expression. “Besides, I still went missing from class at the same time as Okarun, so I still got asked a bunch of annoying questions.” 

“It was really uncomfortable…” Okarun mumbled. 

As Momo had expected, they were all pretty much in the same boat. Their return to school after the alien attack had been every bit as exhausting as she had dreaded. One couldn’t just walk off such a mortifying situation without receiving a lot of pointed questions and some snide accusations. Fortunately, Miko and Muko had been steadfast in their defense of her honor. Unfortunately, many of their defenses had been along the lines of ‘Hey, you’d have trouble keeping it to yourself if you had such a major hottie on your arm too!’, or ‘Y’all are just jealous of our girl’s certified rizz factor!’ Honestly, she knew they meant well, and she appreciated it and all, but their defense was almost as embarrassing to listen to as the allegations. 

She let out another sigh. “That aside,” she turned her gaze over to another nearby bench. “What’s your deal?” 

On the nearby bench, Aira sat, elbow resting on the back of it. She stubbornly refused to look in their direction. “What, is this bench reserved for someone else?” 

Momo crossed her arms. “No. I’m just surprised to see you hanging around us. Weren’t you gonna pin that whole incident on us and drag our names through the dirt or whatever?” 

Aira huffed morosely. “I’ll have you know I totally did. Everybody totes hates you now. I just happen to be here cause I feel like it.” 

Momo rolled her eyes, unconvinced. “Uh-huh, sure.” 

“Ya callin’ me a liar?” Aira asked testily. 

“And if I am?” Momo replied while making a face at her. 

“Please stop, you two. We’re all feeling down enough as it is,” Akane told them tiredly. Then her face lit up, as if an idea had just occurred to her. “I know! Maybe what we all need is a group trip to take our minds off things!” 

Okarun tilted his head. “Did you have something specific in mind?” 

Akane nodded. “My friends from Furinkan invited me to go ice-skating with them. I’ve been wanting a proper chance to catch up with them for a while now, and I figured this could be a good chance to unwind. If you guys want, you could come along and hang out too.” 

“Ooh, that sounds like fun!” Momo said excitedly. “I’m down!” 

“I’ve never gone ice-skating before,” Okarun mused. “Would that be a problem?” 

“Of course not,” Akane told him. “I can show you the ropes if you want. It’s really fun once you get the hang of it.” 

“R-really? That’d be a big help…” Okarun replied, blushing. 

“Really? You can ice-skate?” Ranma asked Akane skeptically. 

Akane gave him a cross look. “What, does that surprise you?” 

“Given that I was there for your gymnastic practice, yeah,” he responded dryly. “Doesn’t ice-skating require, y’know, grace ‘n stuff?” 

Akane raised a clenched fist. “Oh, I’ll show you some grace…” 

“So, you coming too, Ranma?” Momo asked. 

Ranma just folded his hands behind his head flippantly. “Nah. It’s just a bunch of folks sliding back and forth. Sounds boring.” 

“Whaaat? No way! I’ve gone once or twice with Miko and Muko, it’s totally fun!” Momo protested. “Don’t tell me this is another of those, ‘Oh, my jackass dad and dumbass middle school friends said it was girly, so there’s no way a manly man like me would ever do it,’ things, is it?” 

Akane snickered. “That sounds just like him.” 

“It does not,” Ranma grumbled. “And it isn’t. I just don’t feel like going.” 

Momo pouted at him. “Fine, be that way. Spoilsport.” 

Akane looked over at the still sour-looking Aira. “Hey, Aira. You can come along too, if you want.” 

Aira still refused to look their way. “Every path I walk, a pit into the depths of Hell awaits me…” she muttered melodramatically. 

“Um… is that a no?” 

Aira finally glanced their way. Her face looked unamused. “If Takakura is going, then I guess I can tag along. Even if it’s only to keep an eye on the rest of you.” 

“Happy to have you along too, Skank,” Momo said sarcastically. 

After a long and awkward day at school, their group all went back to their houses to get ready, agreeing to meet back up at the train station. Not that it mattered to Ranma, since he wasn’t going. While Momo went inside to change clothes, he elected to hang out in the yard, practicing his katas. Sadly, the solo exercise wasn’t doing much to help him work off the restless energy he was feeling. 

If there was one singular downside to having a reprieve from Pops’ overbearing presence, it was that Ranma was left without a decent sparring partner. Training on his own just didn’t give him the same workout, nor did it help him sharpen his skills. He supposed if he really needed to, he could ask one of his friends to spar with him, but to be frank, he didn’t think they could give him the challenge he was looking for. Momo had gusto, but she wasn’t exactly a physical fighter. Akane and Okarun were plenty strong, but they just didn’t have the skills to make for fruitful training. There was Aira, but… yeah, he’d rather avoid that headache if at all possible. 

Ranma threw another punch at an invisible opponent and scowled. An image of that Serpo bastard holding Momo in a headlock flashed before his eyes. His old man was right about one thing, he couldn’t get complacent. The others seemed convinced that those guys would probably target them again. If that happened…

He shook his head. He’d just have to be readier next time. Still, it’d be nice if there was a good fighter who could really challenge him around somewhere…

Some noise at the edge of the treeline bordering the grounds caught his attention. The foliage rustled, too loudly to be the average woodland critter. Maybe it was just because he was a little jumpy, but Ranma fell into a ready stance. Realistically though, he knew no malevolent forces could get past Granny Seiko’s barrier, so there was no cause for alarm. 

He promptly retracted that thought upon seeing a familiar yellow bandana wrapped around a familiar head. 

Ranma and Ryoga both froze as their gazes met, their eyes widening. They stood there, staring at each other as the atmosphere grew progressively more tense. Eventually, Ryoga’s eyes narrowed. 

“H-hey, Ryoga. Long time no see,” Ranma greeted awkwardly. “You uh, doin’ good?” 

Ryoga walked into the yard, clearly not happy. Ranma remained ready for a fight as he approached, never letting down his guard. To his surprise though, Ryoga walked right past him. 

Ranma looked back at him in confusion. “Oh. Are we not fighting?” 

Ryoga scoffed and leaned back against the Torii gate at the entrance. “Don’t get the wrong idea. I’d love nothing more than to pound your face in. I’d just rather not damage Momo’s house in the process.” 

“Okay…?” Ranma replied uncertainly, trying to gauge where exactly he stood with the other boy. They certainly had not been on good terms when they last saw each other. And given how vindictive and stubborn Ryoga had proven he could be, it was hard to believe he wasn’t still furious at Ranma. The worst part was that he couldn’t really deny his own culpability in how Ryoga got his curse, even if all the other stuff was just the other boy being an idiot. “So uh, how ya been, buddy?” 

“I’m not your buddy. And wouldn’t you like to know,” Ryoga responded grumpily. 

Ranma held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, sheesh.” 

When Ryoga made no move to leave or strike up a conversation, Ranma tentatively went back to practicing his katas. He was careful to keep a wary eye on the other boy the whole time though, just in case. 

After an uncomfortably long silence, Ryoga finally spoke again. “…So, how’d the match go? Did Akane win?” 

Ranma paused his katas. “Well uh, yes and no? Let’s just say ya missed a lot while you were gone.” 

“Oh?” Ryoga asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Ranma scratched his chin contemplatively. “Let’s see… Aira stole the match spot from Akane and won, Okarun picked a fight with Kodachi’s brother and also won, we found the thing Kogane was looking for but she’s still sticking around and living here now, and she helped us get one of the golden balls we’re looking for. Oh, and we all got attacked by aliens. That about sums it up, I think.” 

Ryoga just blinked and stared at him like a confused dog. “Uh… huh. Wait, what was that about aliens?” 

“Oh yeah, turns out they really do exist,” Ranma told him casually. “Attacked us right in the middle of school using some weird space where only the five of us were in danger. Luckily we sent them packi–“ 

He suddenly felt a pair of hands grab him by the front of his shirt. “You’re telling me Momo was in mortal danger again while I was gone?!” He hollered in Ranma’s face. He then let go and started pulling at his own hair instead. “Arrrgh! I knew I never should’ve entrusted her safety to you! I should’ve been there to protect her! I should’ve never left! Damn it!” 

Ranma brushed off the front of his shirt and gave Ryoga a dry look. “First of all, the attack was at school, and last I checked, you aren’t exactly welcome there. Second, they flooded the whole school in that weird space, so even if you had been there, you would’ve just been dead weight.” 

Ryoga shot a glare at him. “Who’re you calling dead weight?!” 

“Hey, if you think the little piggy can take on the Loch Ness Monster, be my guest. I’ll give you first dibs next time.” It wasn’t like he didn’t get how Ryoga felt. Ranma had actually been there and he was still feeling frustrated. Though of course, his concern extended to the rest of his friends, not just Momo. Obviously. 

“Why you…!” 

Ryoga almost looked like he was about ready to go back on his word about not wanting to fight at Momo’s house. Before he could start throwing hands though, the front door opened, revealing the girl herself. 

“Ice rink, here I come!” She announced as she stepped out, now dressed in some warm and cozy casual wear, with a small bag thrown over her shoulder. She blinked when she noticed Ryoga in their yard. “Oh, hey Ryoga. Long week no see. How've you been?” 

Ryoga’s tune predictably changed in an instant. He averted his gaze, twiddling his fingers bashfully. “H-hey, Momo. I’ve, uh, been good!” 

Momo tilted her head. “You sure? You seemed like you were really going through it when you left. Are you still planning on getting back at Ranma for what happened between you?” 

Ryoga coughed into his fist. “Well you see, after I left, I actually took some time to cool off and talk it out with some friends of mine. I’ve decided you’re right, there’s no sense holding petty grudges. After giving it some serious thought, I’ve decided to be the bigger man and let it go.” 

“Whoa. That’s like, super mature of you!” Momo said in awe. 

‘Friggin’ liar,’ Ranma thought to himself. And since when did this guy have friends? 

“Y-you think so?” Ryoga laughed, rubbing the back of his head. “S-so anyway! How about you? How have you been? You said something about an ice rink?” 

Momo nodded excitedly. “Yup-yup! I’m going out with Akane and the others for some ice-skating.” 

“Ice-skating, huh?” Ryoga took an eager step forward. “Please, let me come with you!” He cleared his throat, trying to project an air of composure. “That is, I heard there was some trouble recently, so I think it’d be best if someone were around to protect you, just in case.” 

“Aw, that’s nice of you, Ryoga,” Momo said with a smile. “I doubt those bastards would try something again so soon, but if you wa–“ 

“You don’t have to worry your little piggy head about a thing, Ryoga,” Ranma said, cutting in. “Cause I’ll be there in case anything goes wrong.” 

Momo raised an eyebrow. “I thought you weren’t coming?” 

Ranma crossed his arms. “I changed my mind.” 

“Oh there’s no need to put yourself out like that, Ranma,” Ryoga said with false sincerity. “You can just stay nice and comfy on your high horse while I take care of Momo.” 

“Yeah right. I bet if the aliens did show up again, you’d find a way to get lost on your way to their weird pocket space thing,” Ranma retorted sourly. 

“You know, Ranma, jealousy is unbecoming of you,” Ryoga said in a low growl. 

“And what the hell do I have to be jealous of? You?” Ranma growled back. 

“Look, are you guys coming or not?” Momo asked in exasperation. 

“Yes!” 

“And that’s how we ended up here,” Momo explained to Okarun and Aira as they put their ice skates on. Akane had briefly excused herself to go catch up with her friends from Furinkan. 

“I see. That would explain it,” Okarun replied, sparing a glance at Ranma and Ryoga as they practically glared lightning bolts at each other. 

Welp, Momo supposed she couldn’t expect things to just magically get better between them overnight. Still, they at least weren’t actively throwing punches, so that was a good sign. Probably. Maybe some good old-fashioned male bonding on the ice would help them loosen up. 

“Say, Miss Shiratori?” Okarun asked. “Are you okay? You seem a little… on edge?” 

Aira’s head snapped up, as if startled out of a trance. Ever since they’d arrived at the local ice rink in Nerima, she had been acting weird. Well, weird even by her standards. She’d been constantly hunching her shoulders as if (poorly) trying to make herself unnoticeable, and her gaze had been sweeping all around her with suspicion. It was like she was expecting a monster to jump out at any moment. Of course, the moment Okarun called out to her, she slapped that fake-ass smile back on her face. “What, me? Not at all! I’ve never been better!” She lied as easily as she breathed. 

Momo rolled her eyes. “You don’t gotta worry about being attacked by aliens again. Last time they attacked was weeks ago, so they probably won’t show up again so soon. And even if they do, we’ve got Ryoga’s extra muscle to send them packing this time.” 

“The thing I’m looking out for is way worse than aliens…” Aira grumbled under her breath. 

“Huh?” Momo asked. 

“Nothing!” Aira quickly deflected. She then sidled up nice and close to Okarun, causing him to squeak uncomfortably. “Anyway! This is your first time on the ice, right, Takakura? Why don’t I show you how it’s done? I’d be happy to give you personal lessons!” 

“Um, well…” Okarun mumbled awkwardly. “It’s just, Miss Tendo already said she would teach me, so…” 

Aira wrapped her arms around his arm and forcefully pulled him towards the rink. “Well I’m here and she’s not, so come on!” 

“W-wait! I’m not ready yet!” Okarun cried.  

Momo waved half-heartedly as they went ahead. “Best of luck. Try not to fall on your ass, skank. Gods forbid you give me something to laugh about.” She then looked back over at Ranma and Ryoga, who had finished putting on their skates. “Dare I ask if you two are ready?” 

Ryoga smirked confidently. “I was born ready. Don’t worry, Momo. If you happen to slip out there on the ice, I’ll swoop in to catch you.” 

“She’d have to be falling in slow motion for you to reach her in time,” Ranma mocked. “You’ll just have to leave it to me instead.” 

“You trying to say something, Ranma?” Ryoga growled. 

“And if I am?” Ranma shot back. 

“Then it seems we’ll just have to settle it in the rink,” Ryoga decided. “Just because I’ve decided to spare your life for now doesn’t mean I won’t destroy you here and now!” 

“Heh. Good luck catching me while I skate circles around you!” 

The two of them strode confidently to the rink. They each took a decisive step onto the ice, ready to show the other a thing or three… 

And promptly slipped so hard they practically flipped back, their heads both hitting the concrete. 

Momo stared at them both, almost impressed at the sheer fuck-uppery on display. “…Have either of you actually ice-skated before?” 

“Man, it’s so nice getting to talk with you both again,” Akane said happily. “Sorry again for not being able to keep in touch. I still haven’t been able to get a new phone.” 

Sayuri waved her off. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. We know things have been hectic for you lately. We’re just glad you’re doing alright.” 

“You don’t know the half of it,” Akane told them, slumping slightly in her chair. The three of them were sitting at one of the tables next to the rink so they could catch up a bit before going out onto the ice. “Honestly, you wouldn’t even believe a lot of the stuff that’s been going on around me lately…” 

“I dunno. It is you we’re talking about here. No offense,” said Yuka. 

“Speaking of which,” Sayuri said, leaning forward slightly. “Your fiancé, is it really that guy who picked that fight with Kuno when you came to visit? There’s been a lot of confusion about it back at school.” 

Akane sighed. “Can we please not make this whole day about Dad’s stupid engagement plan? I’m already tired of dealing with it.” 

“Sorry. We didn’t mean to be overly nosy or put you on the spot or anything,” Sayuri apologized. 

“Still, you can’t blame us for being curious!” Yuka insisted. “We’ve been totally in the dark about this whole thing! All anyone’s had to go off of is what the rumors have been saying. At least clear things up a little so we know what’s going on!” 

Akane let out another sigh. She supposed she did owe her friends an explanation. “Alright. To answer your question, no, Takakura isn’t the one Dad wants me to marry, just like he told Kuno. That’s Ranma, the other guy with the braided pigtail who came here with us. He’s…” ‘a pompous jerk who thinks he’s so much better than everyone else’ was on the tip of her tongue, but she held it back. She was trying to be more fair to him, she reminded herself. “…fine. I guess. I still have no intention of marrying him though.” 

Her friends nodded along. “Mm. That’s kind of a shame,” said Sayuri. 

Akane raised her eyebrow. “What, you want me to go along with this stupid proposal?” 

“Oh, no, no,” Sayuri corrected. “What I mean is, it’s a shame the engagement is to a guy like that and not to the other boy, Takakura.” 

“H-huh?!” Akane stuttered. “W-why would you say that?” 

“Ah, come on, Akane,” Yuka told her with a smile. “We were all there when he stood up to Upperclassman Kuno in your defense. It was so brave coming from someone so meek-looking. It was actually pretty dashing if you ask me.” 

Sayuri nodded. “Yeah! After everything those guys put you through, you deserve a nice, sweet guy like that who’s there for you!”  

“W-well…” Akane could feel her cheeks getting red with embarrassment. She glanced around, making sure none of the others were there to overhear before continuing. “I-I mean, Takakura really is a sweet guy, and we’ve been getting along really well. It’s just… I haven’t really known him for that long, y’know? I-I wouldn’t want to make our friendship weird and awkward with r-relationship stuff… A-and besides, he probably isn’t interested in me in that way…” Right, why would he be? She was a macho, clumsy tomboy who may or may not be connected to freaky, world-conquering aliens. Why would he want to date her when he had a pretty, talented girl like Aira constantly pawing at him? 

And why did that thought make her so agitated? 

Her friends just gave her a pair of reassuring smiles. “Well hey, there’s no rush. Just take it at your own pace and I’m sure it’ll work out!” Yuka told her. 

Akane might’ve offered some more denials, but before she could come up with them, Momo walked up to them. “Yo. Sorry to interrupt your catching up, but uh, do ya think you could help me out over here? We might have a Code Five emergency on our hands.” 

She pointed her thumb back at the entrance to the rink, where Ryoga was desperately struggling to even stand upright. Akane watched as he promptly failed, falling flat on his face. 

“You said you know how to skate, right?” Momo asked. “I’m pretty garbage at it myself. Think you could help get him on his feet at least?” 

Akane glanced around. “Where’d the others go?” 

“Ranma said he’d be back in a minute, not sure what that was about,” Momo explained. “And Aira already dragged Okarun out onto the ice.” 

“Oh.” She tried to ignore the tinge of irritation she felt at hearing that. She had told Okarun she’d teach him how to skate… “Right, I’ll be out there in a minute.” 

She got up from her seat. Yuka and Sayuri shared a quiet look before getting up as well. “We can help too,” Sayuri said. 

Yuka nodded in agreement. “Yeah! Any friend of Akane’s is a friend of ours!” 

Momo smiled at them. “That’d be great! Thanks!” 

While the humans all made their way onto the ice, the bag Momo left outside the rink began to rustle. 

Turbo Granny poked her head out, scanning the area for any turd nugget humans who might be paying attention. Once she was reasonably sure there weren’t, she crawled out of the bag and stretched her annoyingly tiny body. 

So, this was an ice rink, huh? Frankly, she didn’t see what all the fuss was about. She’d expected more when she badgered Momo into bringing her along. She swore, mortals could find amusement in the dumbest of things. Unlike her, who had only the finest of tastes. Like good food, and Seiko’s favorite comedy shows. 

Really, the only reason she bothered coming was because Seiko was busy with her normal job on that fortune-telling channel or whatever, and she didn’t want to just stay home all day with Kogane. Her fellow ghost, while the most tolerable of her unwanted housemates, was also the least entertaining. 

Well whatever. She was here now, so she might as well look around. 

“Are you seriously for real right now?” Momo deadpanned. 

She looked on, unimpressed, as Ranma shakily clung to the wall while inching forward bit by bit, now in female form. “Y-yeah! C-course I’m serious! I-I can’t be fumbling all over the place as a guy. I’d look like an idiot…” 

Momo rolled her eyes. “Dumbass. You look like an idiot either way.” 

Ranma just looked at her with a pitiable pout, eyes glistening, trying to earn pity points. To think, this was the same guy who had savagely pummeled the ever-living shit out of a dangerous alien. It was like that Ranma and this Ranma were two totally different people. Weird to think that someone who was usually so skilled at physical activity had such a severe Achilles Heel. 

Ah well. As funny as it was watching him squirm, she supposed she couldn’t just leave him out to dry. By which she meant it was time to call for help again. She searched the rink for their other friends. Aira was gently guiding Okarun by the hand, helping him get his bearings as he struggled to fix his posture. Shockingly, the skank had not been lying when she claimed to be a good skater. She looked more at ease now than she had all day. Okarun on the other hand looked even more awkward and distressed than he had all day. 

Momo had a distinct feeling Aira wouldn’t help them even if she asked. 

Closer to them, Akane and her two friends were helping Ryoga stand upright. He looked just as awkward and embarrassed about being surrounded by three girls as Okarun looked being led around by one. Still, they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. Luckily Ryoga’s bad rep from Kami High hadn’t made its way to Furinkan. Or maybe it had and they were just too used to Kuno to care. 

Momo waved Akane over when she caught her eye. The other girl left Ryoga in her friends’ care as she skated over to Momo and Ranma. As it turned out, Akane was also a pretty good skater. And judging by the look on her face as she looked down at Ranma, she was fully aware of this face. “Oh? What’s this? A sport that Ranma’s bad at? And here I thought I’d never see the day. Then again, I guess it requires grace to skate, huh?” 

“S-shut up!” Ranma stuttered. “I-I’m not bad! I’m just… adjusting! Yeah! I’ll be skating circles around you before you know it!” 

“Oh? Well in that case, I guess I can just leave you to it, Mr. Expert.” She turned to leave, clearly enjoying watching Ranma squirm. 

Ranma let go of the wall, reaching out to her in a panic. “W-w-wait! Let’s not be hast-EEK!” 

His attempts earned him a face-full of icy ground. Momo definitely didn’t snort in amusement at his struggles, she swore. 

Once they got their fill of laughing at Ranma’s pain, they got to work actually guiding him. Well, mostly Akane. Momo herself just kinda waddled along after them. Like she had told Akane, she wasn’t all that good at skating either. She wasn’t gonna say it out loud, but she was silently glad the boys all sucked at it, if only so she didn’t look quite as bad by comparison. 

“Come on, straighten up. Bending your knees is good, but not that much. Don’t look down, eyes forward.” 

As Akane continued instructing Ranma, Aira slid by, dragging Okarun along behind her. She looked down at Ranma with a smug grin. “You know what, I change my mind. Coming here today was totally worth it to watch this.” 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Ranma grumbled irritably. 

“Y-you’re doing good, Saotome!” Okarun said, still looking pretty shaky himself. Honestly, Momo wasn’t sure if Aira was actually teaching him how to skate, or just using this as an excuse to lead him around like a puppy. 

Akane looked down at where Aira was clasping Okarun’s hand with a distinctly sour expression. Whatever she was feeling, she seemed to swallow it down and forced a friendly smile onto her face. “Hey, Aira. Do you think we could swap partners? I did tell Takakura I’d help him learn, and I’m sure Ranma could really use your expertise.” 

“Please don’t pawn me off on her…” Ranma pleaded, his face understandably terrified. 

Aira just stuck her tongue out at her. “Too late, I already called him because you were busy hanging out with all your other friends.” Something about the way she mentioned Akane’s friends sounded oddly pointed to Momo, but she couldn’t guess why.  

“W-well of course I wanted to catch up with them first! I only get to see them so often!” Akane replied defensively. 

“Too bad, so sad.” 

Aira and Akane glared each other down in a way that was starting to remind Momo of Ranma and Ryoga. Maybe it was less of a guy thing after all and more of a rivals thing? 

Whatever kind of thing it was, it was clearly making Okarun uncomfortable being stuck in the middle of it. “H-hey, let’s not fight, okay? Um, maybe we could take turns? Or the two of you could coach Saotome and I at the same time?” 

“Or,” Aira suggested, “she can take you over my dead body!” 

Okarun yelped as Aira suddenly took off with him in tow. With a fierce look, Akane let go of Ranma and chased after them. “Hey! Don’t go so fast while holding onto him! You could hurt him!” 

Without his pillar of support, Ranma began flailing his arms wildly, desperately trying to keep himself standing. Inevitably, he slipped and lost his balance, falling towards the ice again. 

Before he could hit the ground, Momo reached out and caught him with a psychic hand. “Gotcha.” She carefully brought him upright until he was back on his feet. She kept the psychic grip on him though, just to be safe. “Sorry. Guess you’ll just have to settle for Momo-sensei until Akane comes back. 

“T-thanks… I guess…” Ranma muttered, sounding like he was still trying to act cool and aloof about it. 

Momo adjusted her psychic grip, shifting from a large hand holding Ranma’s whole body to a smaller hand trailing down his arm until she was holding his hand out with her power. She pulled him closer to take his hand, much like Aira and Akane did. Before her hand could clasp Ranma’s though, she paused. 

She wasn’t totally sure why she paused. She just kinda… did. She stared down at his hand, her own hovering just a few inches away. It… was just his hand. There was nothing weird about it, and nothing weird about holding it to help him keep balance. It wasn’t like it’d be the most intimate contact they’d ever had. For Gods’ sake, she had literally been caught nearly naked on top of him the other day! 

That reminder did not help. With a gulp, she retracted her hand. She kept the grip with her psychic hand though. “It, um… it’ll be easier for me to support you like this. Wouldn’t wanna fall and drag us both down, y’know?” 

“O-oh… Okay…” 

Momo looked back up at Ranma’s face. He avoided her gaze, his expression sullen. He wasn’t… disappointed, was he? That was just silly. Why would he be? 

She went back to slowly slipping along the ice, now with Ranma quietly being pulled along at a short distance, just out of reach. 

Great, now things were awkward between them again. 

Ugh, why did this keep happening? Why did her and Ranma’s relationship seem to flip-flop so chaotically between comfortably casual and uncomfortably tense? One would think they’d be over this after living together under the same roof for weeks, yet it only seemed to get worse instead of better. 

She needed an ice-breaker fast. Uh, a metaphorical one. Something, anything to get rid of the awkward silence. Time for her go-to: blurt out the first thing that came to mind, no matter how stupid. 

“…Do you think only having one testicle affects Okarun’s balance?” 

Ranma choked on air, sputtering and blubbering incoherently in the face of Momo’s smooth and flawless segue. Luckily she was still holding him steady, or he probably would’ve eaten shit again. 

“W-w-wha– How would I– What kind of question even is that?!” Ranma exclaimed. 

“It’s a legit question!” Momo insisted. “C’mon, you’re the expert here, right? You gotta know the answer! Don’t hold out on me!” 

Ranma scrunched up his face. “I-I dunno! I mean, probably not? They don’t weigh a lot. It’s not like not having them in this form is my biggest concern when it comes to balance…” He shook his head vehemently. “Why am I even answering you?! Ugh, I’m seriously getting tired of all this nut business. Why the hell did the old hag have to make that of all things her MO?” 

Momo laughed. “Aw, chin up! It could be worse.” 

Ranma gave her an unbelieving look. “Could it?” 

“Course it could!” Momo leaned in, her voice taking on a conspiratorial tone. “You should hear the stories Grandma’s told me about kappas. Apparently, those guys will literally rip your soul right out of your–“ 

“Asshole!” Came an angry, familiar shout from not too far away. 

“Yeah, that,” said Momo. 

Everyone in their group, along with a few curious onlookers, stopped what they were doing to see what the commotion was about. Over by the edge of the rink, they saw a somewhat concerning sight. 

A girl around their age stood there. She stood out like a sore thumb among the other casual skaters, with her big, floofy brown hair with a pink ribbon on top and the cutesy outfit she was wearing. She was not the source of the shout though. That would be the familiar, flailing white cat plush she was holding tightly in her arms. 

“Lemme go, ya damn turd nugget! I’ll murder ya!” Turbo Granny screeched. 

The floofy-haired girl just giggled girlishly. “Wooow! You can talk! That’s so funny! I know! I think I’ll call you Belladonna!” 

“Turbo Granny?! What’s she doing here?” Okarun exclaimed. Next to him, Aira flinched, as if she had just seen some horrible creature. She slowly began inching her way behind Okarun’s back. 

“I brought her,” Momo admitted a little sheepishly. “She badgered me into letting her tag along. I didn’t think she’d get in trouble this quick.” 

Akane cut her chasing of Aira short and skated over to the weird girl holding Turbo Granny hostage. “Uh, hey. My name’s Akane. That, erm… cat actually belongs to us. Could you please give her back?” 

The weirdo girl held Turbo Granny away protectively. “Nuh-uh! She’s mine! This is my precious Belladonna! You can’t have her!” 

Oh great. Whoever this girl was, she was a giant toddler. Just swell. 

“I ain’t yer nothin’, ya little half-wit, shit-faced, pea-brained–“ Turbo Granny ranted. 

Akane’s eye twitched, clearly trying hard not to lose her patience. “I’m serious here. Please, just hand her over–“ 

She reached out to grab Turbo Granny, but the girl suddenly slipped out of her range. With surprising grace, the ditzy girl practically glided across the ice, sticking her tongue out at Akane as she fled. 

“Hey!” Akane shouted. Growling, she chased after the other girl. They skated circles around the rink, the cat-napper gleefully staying one step ahead of Akane. She skillfully weaved around the other skaters forcing Akane to slow her pace to avoid knocking them over in her pursuit. 

“What the hell are the rest of ya gawking at?! Save me already!” Turbo Granny shouted at the rest of them. 

“I’m sorry! I barely know how to skate!” Okarun apologized. 

His reply caught the ditzy girl’s attention. Her eyes widened when she looked over at him. After casually dodging a lunge from Akane, she slid right up to Okarun. 

The meek boy flicked back nervously at her sudden approach. “U-um, hey. That cat is actually a really important… friend? Of ours. So, could you, um, maybe…?” 

The ditzy girl ignored him completely and peeked her head over his shoulder. “Airi! Is that you, Airi? You came after all! It’s been so long! How are you? Have you finally decided to get back into skating? Is this your boyfriend? His glasses look so funny!” 

“H-huh?” Okarun glanced over his shoulder at Aira, who was still pressed against his back. “Do you know this girl, Miss Shiratori?” 

Aira shrank further behind his back, trying her damnedest to hide from the other girl’s sight. “I have never seen this individual in my life,” she practically rasped, as if being noticed by the girl was making her physically ill. 

“Um, okay…?” 

“Shiratori?” One of Akane’s friends muttered, her face scrunched up in thought. Then she snapped her fingers. “Ah! I thought she looked familiar! She’s one of the star figure-skaters from Kolkoz High School! Azusa Shiratori of the Golden Pair!” 

“Azusa…?” Akane repeated. 

“Shiratori…?” Okarun finished. 

“Hold on, are you telling me…?” Momo trailed off. Their eyes all turned to Aira who was still refusing to come out of hiding. 

“…Don’t know her… I don’t know her… I don’t know her…” Aira continually muttered in a monotone voice, as if it was a mantra to ward away evil. 

The girl, Azusa, finally backed off, giving Okarun some space. She stood gracefully for all to see, smiling proudly. “I’m Azusa Shiratori. Looks like you all know my dear little cousin, Airi.” 

“Aira’s cousin?!” Everyone in their group exclaimed, minus Aira herself. Looking at them both, they didn’t have too much in common, physically speaking. If personality and irritation factor were genetic though… 

“W-well, that should make things easier, right?” Okarun said optimistically. He held a hand out in greeting. “Hello, Miss Shira– erm, Miss Azusa? We’re all friends with Miss Shiratori. So could you please return that plush…?” 

Azusa turned away, puffing her cheeks out like an unruly child. “No! I already told you! Belladonna is mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!” 

Momo’s eye twitched. “That does it. I’ve had all I can take of this chick.” She shot a psychic hand out at Azusa, ready to snag Turbo Granny out of her grasp by force. 

Azusa glanced in her direction. In an instant, she was in the air, flipping clean over Momo’s psychic hand, her childish tantrum replaced by a confident smile. Seriously?! She could see spirit stuff too?!

Azusa landed expertly on the ice and began speeding towards Momo’s location without hesitation. Startled, Momo tried bringing her psychic hand back to grab at her again, but between holding Ranma with one hand and balancing on the ice, her focus was already stretched thin. Azusa easily evaded her clumsy attempts and got right up in her face before she knew it. 

The ditzy girl leaned way too close, a grumpy expression on her face. “You were trying to take my Belladonna just now, weren’t you?!” 

Momo leaned back, not appreciating the violation of her personal space. Unfortunately, that just made her lose her balance and fall on her ass. “Ack! Bitch!” 

Azusa straightened up, looking down at her with a smug smirk. “Try all you like. All of you combined couldn’t catch me on the ice.” 

She demonstrated her point by dodging backwards to avoid another charging swipe from Akane. Akane growled in frustration and tried again, but Azusa proved to just be too skilled to be caught on the ice. 

Still on the ground, Momo readied her psychic hands to assist, only to get distracted by a high-pitched cry. Belatedly, she realized she had accidentally let go of Ranma when Azusa startled her. “Oops.” She reached out to him again, only for Azusa to speed by, bumping into him hard enough to send him skidding across the ice. “Hey! That was on purpose and you know it!” 

Azusa just stuck her tongue out at her and kept going. Meanwhile, Ranma slipped uncontrollably through the rink, once again flailing his arms wildly to keep balance. He ended up crashing into Ryoga, knocking him out of Yuka and Sayuri’s grasp and causing both boys to topple over. 

“Sorry!” The girls apologized. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, you bastard!” Ryoga snarled. 

“I didn’t exactly have a say in it, jerk!” Ranma shot back. 

“Ya call this a rescue?!” Turbo Granny shouted. “This is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen! Get yer asses in gear already!” She turned to Okarun. “And you! Quit starin’ like a slack-jawed dum-dum! Use my power already!” 

“Right now?!” Okarun said incredulously. “A-alright then!” 

Before going Turbo Mode, he knelt down and removed his ice skates. Going barefoot on the ice couldn’t have been comfortable, but his transformation had a tendency to wreck shoes, so there was nothing to be done about it. Once he was ready, he transformed and took a running stance. 

“Don’t stress, Turbo Kitty. That’s my job…” he muttered. “Don’t blink, I’m comin’ at ya!” Empowered by Turbo Granny’s power, he took off in a sprint far faster than the average human. 

And promptly slipped. 

He clumsily toppled forward, landing at an awkward angle with his jaw mask flat on the ground and his feet in the air. His momentum made him slide across the rink in that awkward position, straight past Azusa, until he crashed into the wall of the rink. 

“What the hell was that?!” Turbo Granny screamed. “I oughtta clobber you for using my powers so poorly, ya damn asswipe!” 

Azusa for her part was just laughing it up. “Ahahahahahaha! Your friends are all so funny, Airi!” 

Without her Okarun-shaped shield, Aira had just taken to crouching on the floor, her face devoid of energy. “Do not refer to me. Do not acknowledge me. For practical purposes, I do not exist right now.” 

“Goddamnit, Skank! Will you snap out of it and help us already?!” Momo snapped. 

“You heard her, Ranma. Momo needs help!” Ryoga said from his position sitting on the cold ground next to Ranma. 

“And what do you expect me to do about it?” Ranma asked dryly. 

Ryoga grinned at him savagely. “Oh, I can think of a few things…” 

Before Ranma could retort, Ryoga grabbed him by the front of his shirt and threw him across the rink in Azusa’s direction. He handled it with slightly more grace than Okarun, in that he didn’t fall on his face. A short, screaming girl hurtling across the rink still didn’t inspire much confidence though. As expected, Azusa sidestepped him with ease, leading to him also becoming acquainted with the rink wall. 

“Too bad, so sad!” Azusa mocked. “You all will never separate me and… Belladonna?” She blinked, holding up her hands. Turbo Granny was no longer there. “Belladonna! My cute little Belladonna, where’d you go?!” 

“Heh… heh…” Ranma laughed as he removed himself from the wall. He held up a familiar plush victoriously. “Still got it.” 

“Hell yeah! Way to go!” Momo cheered. 

“Y-you actually saved me, ya damn shitstain!” Turbo Granny cried, her eyes actually looking like they were about to well up with relieved tears. 

Ranma grinned. “Well of course I… I…” 

Ranma’s odd reaction made Momo come to an unfortunate realization. Whether it had been taken off by Azusa or whether Turbo Granny had removed it herself before she started exploring, the old yokai was completely without her hat. 

“C… c… c… EEEEEEP!!” 

In a frenzy, Ranma chucked the cat plush haphazardly through the air. 

“Ya damn shitstain! I won’t forgive ya for thiiiiis!” Turbo Granny hollered angrily. 

All eyes were on Turbo Granny as she flew towards the center of the rink. Akane went to skate after her, but a low kick from Azusa knocked her feet out from under her. “Hey!” 

Azusa sped after the airborne plush without missing a beat. She held her hands out, ready to catch her. “I’ve got you, Belladonna!” 

A sudden flash of movement cut her short. A sharp metallic clang! resounded throughout the rink as she brought her ice skate-clad foot up to clash against someone else’s. She blinked at the long-haired, mask-wearing interloper owlishly. 

“I disrespectfully demand you stand down now, you insufferable little shit,” Aira said in her Acro Silky form, balancing on one leg with the other still locked with her cousin. 

“Airi?” Azusa questioned. “Wow! When did you learn how to fight? The way you talk sounds so funny! Is that mask like a Halloween costume or something?” 

Aira cut off her hyperactive ramblings with an unrestrained flurry of kicks. Amazingly, Azusa dodged the strikes and responded with her own series of kicks. Both girls skillfully delivered strikes while maneuvering on the slippery terrain as if they were born on it. The rink was filled with the sound of metal clashing with metal as the blades of their skates met again and again. 

As awesome as that was to watch, Momo tore her eyes away from the spectacle to see what happened to Turbo Granny. She looked just in time to see a new figure enter the fray and catch the elderly yokai. The figure smoothly slid across the ice, gracefully maneuvering around the quarreling Aira and Azusa, and coming to a clean stop in front of Momo. 

The figure knelt before her. He was a tall, well-dressed boy around their age with short brown hair. She supposed he was pretty good-looking, or at the very least had the kind of face Miko and Muko would often gush over. A few high-pitched squeals from some of the female onlookers seemed to agree with that assessment. In one smooth motion, he gently pulled Momo back to her feet while handing Turbo Granny to her. “I believe this is yours, Miss?” 

Momo blinked. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.” 

The boy brushed a hand through his short bangs, giving her a smile that elicited more squeals from the onlookers. “It was my pleasure. I apologize for my partner’s behavior. She has a bad habit of taking things that don’t belong to her and taking them home with her.” 

“Uh-huh,” Momo drawled, unimpressed by the guy’s overly cool demeanor. She blinked. “Wait, partner?” 

One of Akane’s friends gasped. “That’s Mikado Sanzenin! He’s the other member of the Golden Pair, alongside Azusa!” 

The boy, Mikado Sans-whatever, seemed to bask in the recognition. “It’s always a treat to see my name has reached the ears of such lovely ladies.” 

Akane’s friends swooned a little at his suave act. Momo just maintained her unimpressed look. Did this attention whore shtick really do anything for other girls? Weird. Well, at least he seemed relatively chill compared to his kleptomaniac partner. “Uh-huh. Welp, thanks again for the assist. You might want to go grab your partner before she and the skank murderate each other.” 

She turned to leave with her newly acquired Turbo Granny. Before she could get far though, Mikado slid right up next to her and put a hand around her shoulder, pulling them close. “Before you leave, allow me to mark this fateful encounter with one last parting gift…” 

He brought his face way too close to hers for her liking. She tried to lean away, but his grip on her shoulder was firm. She promptly retracted her earlier sentiment. This guy was a prick. 

She was just about to whip out her psychic powers when the man suddenly let out a yelp and backed off. He brought a hand up to his shirt, where a small set of claw marks had made a small tear. Momo looked down at Turbo Granny in surprise. The small yokai was brandishing her tiny claws threateningly. “Back off if ya know what’s good for ya, dick-fer-brains.” 

The wannabe playboy looked down at the plush that was threatening him with a curious look. “So I wasn’t hearing things, the doll really did talk. How very peculi–AH!” 

A head covered in reddish-pink hair suddenly crashed into his gut, causing him to recoil and back off further. “Oopsie! Guess I wasn’t looking where I was going! Real sorry about that!” Ranma apologized insincerely as he got back to his feet. He then grabbed Momo by the hand and started walking. “C’mon, Momo, let’s g–Aaah!” 

He promptly slipped on the ice, falling and dragging Momo down with him. “My hero,” Momo said dryly.

“S-shut up…!” Ranma looked over at Momo, only to catch sight of Turbo Granny again. “Eeeep!” 

Momo shifted Turbo Granny so that her body was blocking her from Ranma’s sight. She then carefully got up on her feet and used her powers to do the same for Ranma. “There ya go. Just close your eyes. No kitty here, just grumpy old Belladonna.” 

“Don’t start with me, brat,” Turbo Granny muttered. 

Momo carted Ranma out of the rink. As she did, she spared a glance back over her shoulder, at Aira and Azusa who were still going at it, and at Mikado, who had recovered from Ranma’s headbutt and returned her glance with a wink and what he probably thought was a charming smile. 

Ugh. What a creep.