Chapter Text
Avery smiled softly as she stood in the crowd that was still gathered around after Taylor's set, watching the way he interacted with them. Seeing him tonight on stage was perfect and she regretted the fact she hadn't done it sooner. She regretted that she let her hurt and anger keep her from asking to come sooner.
A regret that ran a little deeper after hearing his speech before that one song he did tonight. The one that was written for her.
It was a speech that made her stop and really wonder if maybe she's been wrong to doubt his love for her. Maybe he was in love with her and she'd just been blind all this time thanks to Isaac always telling her how she'd trapped him. Maybe letting herself believe that had blinded her to the truth.
That or she just wanted to let herself be that foolish nineteen year old girl who had fallen in love with him.
Seeing him walk over to her she smiled more, unable to stop herself when she jumped into his arms.
"Baby, I'm sweaty," he told her through a laugh that she found adorable but then again she'd find anything he did adorable with how in love she felt at this very moment.
"I don't care," Avery told him before she leaned in and kissed him briefly.
"Well?" Taylor said as he slowly stepped back from her to meet her gaze and Avery knew he was asking her what she thought of his performance tonight and she was just about to answer him when she saw the brunette woman heading their way.
It was a woman she'd only seen in pictures from instagram but she knew automatically who it was. It was Harlow.
Taylor's girlfriend was here at the show and she was approaching them and like a horror movie all Avery could do was stand there in silence as she watched everything play out in front of her, from Harlow saying something to Taylor to Harlow wrapping her arms around him and kissing him.
The bitch actually had the balls to kiss Taylor right there in front of her and it seemed that action was enough to ruin whatever illusion Avery had of Taylor being in love with her.
How could he be in love with her when he had Harlow?
"What the hell are you doing?" Taylor asked as he pushed Harlow away and Avery swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in her throat as she watched Harlow look over at her with a small smirk.
It was a smirk that let Avery know the kiss had been for Avery to see. Harlow had done it because she'd wanted Avery to know.
"I just wanted to come and say hi," Harlow stated as kept her eyes trained on Avery, not even looking at Taylor as she spoke. "You must be Avery," she said, extending her hand out like this was just a casual meeting between strangers. "I'm..."
"I know who the fuck you are Harlow," Avery spat out as she glared at the woman in front of her. "I've known who you are for years..well maybe not your name, that I've known since November but I've known of your existence since I was pregnant with my youngest kid."
"Ave..." Taylor spoke as he stepped in between them, his hand going to her arm like he was trying to protect her and she didn't know why he was. He'd never cared about protecting her or her being hurt during the past five years of his affair. "I think we should go somewhere and talk privately," he said as he did his best to keep his eyes trained on her and not on Harlow.
"We can go somewhere private," Avery told him as she pulled her arm away from his grasp not wanting him to touch her right now. "But she's coming with us," she said as she pointed at Harlow. "It's only fair she gets to stay after the stunt she pulled and I mean I've been sharing you with her for five years. She's just as much a part of this marriage as you and I are," she muttered out as she slowly backed away from him then.
She wasn't even sure she wanted to be in his presence either right now. It was hard to want that when her heart was breaking because of him.
Her heart had been breaking because of him for years now.
"Fine," Taylor said with a head nod before he turned to look at Harlow and when he did Avery didn't miss the glare he gave her and she guessed there would be trouble in paradise for them right now.
After he said that things fell silent between all three as Taylor turned and led the way towards the backstage area and Avery followed behind him faintly aware of Harlow's footsteps as she trailed behind her.
It was hard to believe even now that the truth of his affair was out there now and she hated it because she was certain she knew how this night would end.
It'd end with her losing her husband. The man who'd stood on stage and made a speech that she still wanted to believe was true.
Just like she wanted to believe the words of the song he'd sang where true too.
Coming out of her thoughts when Taylor led them to a room, Avery watched as he shut the door once Harlow was in the room but instead of standing near Harlow he did his best to keep his distance and she couldn't help but wonder if he was doing that for her sake.
If so he didn't have too, not after she'd just seen Harlow kiss him. Her heart was breaking but she could handle it if Taylor wanted to be near Harlow.
"You've really known all this time?" Taylor asked, finally breaking the silence that had settled between them.
"Yeah, I've really known all this time," Avery answered with a nod of her head. "You can thank Isaac for that. He told me the night we told your family I was pregnant with Cal," she said with a bitter laugh. "I'm not even sure why he chose that night to tell me but he did," she said with a sigh wishing that night had never happened.
She would have loved to stay in the dark about his affair.
"Ike told you?" Taylor asked in disbelief and Avery almost felt bad for him that he believed Isaac could keep a secret like that.
"I did tell you earlier today that Isaac says lots of things multiple times," Avery told him, bringing up their conversation from before they had left the house. "That's one of the things he's said multiple times. He just loves to remind me how much you're in love with good ole Harlow over there," she said sarcastically as she turned to look at the other woman in the room.
A woman who was being too silent for everything she'd set in motion.
"Are you in love with her? Is Isaac right about that?"
"Ike... I don't understand. He told you I'm in love with Harlow? He knows... He knows I'm not. I'm in love with you, Ave."
"Yes he told me you're in love with her," Avery snapped out as she rolled her eyes slightly because she was upset and she wasn't sure if it was at Isaac or Taylor or Harlow or just the situation in general. "He loves to tell me and remind me any chance he can get that you're in love with her and that you're happy with her. That she makes you happier than the woman who trapped you with a baby," she said as she once again swallowed around a lump in her throat at that mention.
It was one she hated to bring up because it hit too close to home on how she felt about herself now.
"I wouldn't blame you if you were in love with her," Avery said as she looked away from him when he frowned. "You don't have to lie if you are in love with her. I can handle it. I don't need to be told that you're in love with me if you aren't," she said not sure if she could believe him when he said he was in love with her.
She'd let herself believe that before and each time she did it bit her in the ass and she always got a reminder that their marriage had never started because of love. It'd been forced on them because of her pregnancy.
"You're not in love with me?" Harlow asked before Taylor could even respond to Avery and Avery once again rolled her eyes especially when Harlow had the audacity to sound heartbroken by that revelation.
"We've talked about this Harlow," Taylor muttered out as he looked at her again and again Avery noted the glare on his face. "You know where I stand."
"Where do you stand?" Avery asked as she raised her voice slightly. "If you don't love her, where do you stand then?" she asked with a shake of her head. "Because for the past five fucking years you've been spending all your weekends with her which it's nice to know you've been spending all your Saturday nights up until recently with her while I've been home alone with our children. Maybe I should have said this after the kiss but oh, so this is where you've been every Saturday night!" Avery said and again her voice was raised when she said her last words but she couldn't help it.
It seemed she was coming out of the shock she'd been in since seeing Harlow kiss Taylor and now her anger was taking over.
"I don't love her like that," Taylor stated again as he looked at her again and at least he had the decency to frown when he did. "I know how it looks, especially with the weekend bit but I’m not in love with her."
"Oh trust me, it's more than just the weekends you spend with her that make it fucking hard for me to believe you when you say you aren't in love with her," Avery countered with a shake of her head. "You see I did some digging around the holidays after I knew her name. I found her instagram and I found one that you had too. All that was on it was pictures of her," she told him as she crossed her arms and while he hadn't yet glared at her she was glaring at him.
It seemed right now all her anger wanted to be taken out on him.
"My what?" Taylor asked as he looked at her clearly confused by what she'd just asked him. "No, I haven't posted any pictures with her anywhere. You know both my accounts. The one for the studio and my personal one. You know both of those," he said with a shake of his head and Avery felt her glare grow more intense at the fact he was lying about something she'd seen. "I have no idea what account you're talking about."
"You're really going to lie to me?" Avery asked with a raised eyebrow as she kept her arms crossed. "You're going to deny that hansontay is you?" she asked him clearly not believing what he was telling her. "Both Isaac and Harlow follow that account. There are pictures from your weekends with her. The same pictures she posts on her own instagram," she told him with a shake of her head.
She wasn't sure how to handle him actually lying to her face, especially about something she'd seen with her own two eyes.
"I'm not lying to you Ave," Taylor countered, sounding firm and it shook Avery just a bit but not enough to sway her in fully believing him.
How could she when she'd seen the instagram herself? Why would someone make a fake instagram of him just to post pictures of Harlow?
It didn't make sense to her that anyone would do that.
"Yeah, whatever you say," she spat out at him as she uncrossed her arms, clearly not convinced even if he sounded genuine in what he was saying to her. It was just so hard to believe otherwise when she'd seen the account herself. "Anyway since you don't love her what has kept you with her for five fucking years?" she asked him with a frown of her own now.
"Because I do have feelings for her Ave," Taylor confessed as his voice went soft with what sounded like regret. "I'm not in love with her but I love her and I have feelings for her," he said before running a hand through his hair and at his words Avery hated the way her heartbroke even more.
She hated that she knew her husband loved another woman when she'd never even had romantic feelings for another man since marrying him.
"You love her?" Avery asked and she hated the way she sounded hurt and vulnerable right now especially when she was so angry.
She wanted more of her anger to come out and yet right now it wasn't. It was her hurt that was as clear as day.
"I do," Taylor confirmed with a small nod as he looked away from her then and down at the floor as if it held all the answers in the world. "I love her and that's what kept me coming here to her every weekend."
"Did you expect something else from him Avery?" Harlow piped up and Avery once again felt her anger start to simmer at Harlow's words. "He's not just some guy who wants to get his dick wet. He loves me and that's why he keeps coming to me on the weekends...and he knows I love him," she said with a smirk that seemed to cut right through Avery.
Harlow's last words cut through her as well because they were a reminder of everything she kept hidden from Taylor. They reminded her how much she kept herself from being vulnerable with him because of her own fears and insecurities.
Fears and insecurities she couldn't even tell him about.
"Well speaking of getting your dick wet is she better than me?" Avery questioned him as she finally let her anger take over again because she wasn't ready to be vulnerable right now.
Being vulnerable right now would just hurt her more than she already was and she didn't want to hurt anymore right now.
"Avery," Taylor sighed out like that question was crazy of her to ask though she didn't think it was. "You really have to ask me that after everything we did hours ago?" he questioned, reminding her of the sex they'd had at the hotel before coming to the venue.
"For all I know you could have been looking to get your dick wet," Avery retorted with a roll of her eyes as she glared at him again. "So is she better than me when it comes to sex?"
"No," Taylor said firmly as he shook his head. "You're the best I've had."
At that Avery had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling at him that he was the only she'd ever had and that was the way it should have been for him too but she knew better than that. She feared if she said that it would just make things worse right now.
"Is there anything you did with her that you didn't do with me?" Avery asked him curious just how much her husband had explored with another woman outside of their marriage.
How much more experienced was he than her now and how could she still be the best since he now knew what sex with another woman was like?
He was no longer the boy who'd lost his virginity to her and had only ever just been with her and Avery hated how much that knowledge hurt her. She hated that she was so inexperienced now when it came to sex compared to him.
"No, it's the opposite actually," Taylor said and again he had the nerve to sound genuine when he spoke to her. "There are things I do with you that I don't and won't with her."
Again Avery found herself biting her tongue at that because while she wanted to ask him what he did with her that he didn't do with Harlow she wasn't sure now was the time.
There would be another time for that question.
"What were your favorite positions with her?" Avery questioned and she knew from that she was looking for ways to make herself hurt despite her anger.
It seemed she just wanted to hurt and know every dirty little detail about Taylor's relationship with Harlow but then again didn't she deserve that? She thought she did since Taylor's affair had been going on for five years.
She deserved all the dirty little fucking details about it even the ones that would hurt her.
"Truth? Taking her from behind. Was easier to picture you," Taylor admitted as he looked back at her and when they locked eyes she knew at least this time he was telling the truth about something. "And while I may have feelings for her. While I may love her she will never be you."
"You fucking asshole," Harlow muttered out with a shake of her head. "That's clearly not what you tell me, especially when you come and see me on the weekends."
"And this conversation isn't about you is it?" Taylor asked, finally snapping at Harlow as he shook his head. "You just happen to be the reason we're fucking having the conversation."
Avery couldn't help but smirk at that and she was also glad that Taylor knew the deeper meaning of her questions wasn't really about Harlow in the end. Every question she asked even if it was one related to his relationship with Harlow was about them in some way.
She truly could not give a single fuck about Harlow right now.
"Whatever you tell yourself," Harlow muttered out under her breath as she moved a bit farther from Taylor than what she had been standing before.
After that a silence enveloped the room and in that silence Avery knew she'd have to start being vulnerable now. Now was the time to have a harder conversation.
Now was the time for the questions she really needed answered.
"If I asked you to walk away from her right now could you and would you?" she questioned and once again her voice sounded so small. It was taking every ounce of strength she had to ask the question that she'd asked. "Or am I going to have to share you with her because I won't do that," she told him wanting him to know that now that the truth was out there she wasn't going to keep up the status quo.
Avery couldn't keep sharing him every weekend or well now every other weekend. That wasn't a life she wanted to keep living.
"Yes, I could and would," Taylor nodded with a small sigh. "I won't tell you it would be easy, but it's the truth. Would you walk away from Zac?" he questioned and at his last question Avery was now the one who felt confused and she was sure it showed on her face.
Why the hell was he asking her if she could walk away from Zac?
"What does Zac have to do with any of this?" Avery asked him as she kept her gaze locked on him hoping that his own gaze would give something away but it didn't.
She still had no clue why he had asked her if she could walk away from Zac.
"Because you're cheating on me too," Taylor countered and Avery felt like she'd been punched in the gut by his words. "You're fucking Zac."
At that Avery only shook her head as her mind went back to the night Isaac had told her about Taylor's affair and how Taylor had been hurt to know that Avery had gone home without the kids after Zac had changed her tire. He'd all but implied he'd told Taylor she was cheating on him with Zac and it seemed Taylor had believed him.
Taylor had fallen for that lie hook line and sinker and now it made sense why their affair had started the night of his first show in the city. Isaac had made Taylor vulnerable and Harlow had jumped at the fucking chance to fuck a vulnerable and married man.
"Why do you think I'm fucking Zac?" Avery answered as she still kept eye contact with him not once looking away and she hoped he didn't either. She wanted him looking at her when he answered that question.