Archive of Our Own

Rei sat at her desk skimming over a letter from Shoto. The warm summer sunset enveloped her room in a pink hue, as she contemplated what to write to him. She was so grateful for this simple correspondence with her son. Just hearing about his day, his friends and his life at school reminded her that his life was moving forward. He wasn’t frozen in time, as she felt she was sometimes. She had worked hard to feel better, but occasionally the most traumatic moments in her life flashed through her head against her will. Today, she was finally ready to confront her biggest fear.

She was aware that Enji had been coming often. Sometimes she could hear him down the hallway, talking in his deep booming voice to the receptionist. He often appeared angry or intimidating by the way he presented himself, but she knew he was actually pretty awkward and acted tough to mask that.

The first time she received the flowers, the nurses - who had grown used to her listless, gloomy self - said they had never seen such a warm expression on her face. He had really remembered something she told him just once, nearly 20 years ago. Despite everything he had put her through, she couldn’t shake her attachment to the sweet memories from the first few years of their marriage. After everything, she still couldn’t hate him…

Enji slowly opened the door, maintaining a stoic yet gentle expression on his face. He always wore a full suit to deliver the flowers, just in case the doctors allowed him to see her. Today it finally fit the occasion, but it made him feel stiff and sort of overdressed.

He had been overthinking this moment for years, and now he was wondering if he bore the right expression, donned the right clothes, had the right demeanor. There was nothing he could say or do that would take back the amount of pain he put her through, but he still fixated on small details - hoping that everything he could control might make her feel comfortable.

Peering into the room, his breath caught as she looked up at him from her place at the desk.

It was her. Those pretty grey eyes. Soft white hair cascading over her shoulders. Small wrinkles creased her skin; it had been almost 10 years after all.

10 years and she was still her - a woman as strong and cold as ice, who would melt at his slightest touch.

She was bathed in vivid pink light as the sun made its march below the horizon across the cotton candy sky.

She must hate this weather, he thought. Rei had always loved the early months of the year - January or February were her favorites. He recalled late nights coming home from patrol, as the ground hid beneath the ever falling snow and the icy winter wind blew, he would wrap her up in his arms; her small frame nearly disappearing beneath his own.

She kept the heating off on those kinds of nights, when she wasn’t sure what time he would return or how long he would stay. Though she loved the wintery chill of the house with her affinity for cold, she would smile and sink into his warm embrace as he laid sleepy kisses on her lips.

Now in the melancholy warmth of the August evening, she surveyed him with a sharp, cautious gaze as she stood from her place at the desk.

What did her expression mean…? Was she okay? Did she still resent him? Was she really ready to see him now? He felt the regret and self hate creeping up as the memories of her worn and mentally exhausted ran through his mind.

“Rei…” he started to speak, but something made him hesitate. He craved to hear her voice, and hoped she would talk instead. “How are you?” he asked delicately.

Her heart raced as she stood to meet him. His towering presence dominated every room he was in, but she could tell he was making an extra effort to be careful and approachable in this moment - so much so that he appeared stiff and frozen at the doorway. His piercing blue eyes, once filled with overwhelming hate and ambition, now held her in a tender, sentimental gaze. She didn’t quite know how to respond to his question, which left them in a lingering silence.

“Are they treating you well…?” He probed, hoping to break the tension that was growing more unbearable by the second.

“Yes, everyone is very kind…” she trailed off as the blue flowers he held grabbed her attention.

Her eyes brightened as she found something to focus on other than the weight of the moment. Something beautiful, which reminded her of life outside. “For me?” Shifting from her place at the desk, she moved closer to him and gestured toward the bouquet.

He nodded and she approached him, smelling his fiery musk combined with the honey scent of the Autumn bell flower. She couldn’t help but notice how he had aged since she last saw him - frown lines were embedded into his forehead and a deep scar now covered the left side of his face. The bags under his eyes told her he was still spending too much time at work… or was he unable to sleep well? Despite her apprehension, she wondered how things had been since they were last face to face.

The tension in her face eased and a gentle smile became her as she took the bouquet from him. His heart squeezed at her warm expression, he couldn’t look away from her. Even when he thought his shameless stare might make her uncomfortable, he memorized the curve of her lips, the softness of her eyes, the charm of the cool blue petals against her pale skin.

Tacitly inviting him in, she shifted to the side so his large form could enter the room. He sat on her bed as he watched her place the fresh bouquet in the vase on the windowsill, replacing the one he had brought a few weeks ago.

Once she finished, she took her place next to him, sitting to his left. Averting his intense gaze, she stared down at her hands clasped together. From the corner of her eye she could see him - hands resting on his knees and head slightly bowed, giving him this uncomfortably formal appearance. She couldn’t see his face from this angle, but his deep breaths—almost sighs—told her how nervous he was.

“How much longer are they having you stay here?...” He probed.

“Probably until September.” Her tone came out sharper than she intended. Softly she added, “I’ve been able to spend a lot more time outside lately.”

Another awkward silence befell them as none of the conversation topics which ran through Enji’s head seemed worthy enough to bring up, nor did he have the audacity to make small talk with her.

“Rei. The truth is, I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should have walked in and started with ‘I’m sorry’... but I know ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough.”

He took another deep breath, glancing over at her before looking away again.

“I know all of this is too little too late, and you have every right to hate me. Nothing I say now is enough.”

The words seemed to rush out of him all at once, as he fought to express himself before this burst of courage eluded him.

“I’ll do everything I can to prove to you that I’ve changed… that I’m different now… but I don’t blame you if you don’t trust me. I just want you to know… I miss you. I’ve missed you all this time.”

Hesitantly, and with the utmost delicacy, he placed his large hand over hers, curling his fingers around hers.

“If you want me to stay away I will… but I’m glad you’re finally coming home.”

Her pulse sped up at the sudden contact, but she didn’t pull away. She sat silently for a few moments thinking about everything he just said, her heart aching with conflicting feelings.

“I… I don’t... It's not that simple. All I’ve done in here is think about this. I can’t help but remember everything, good and bad.” She closed her eyes.

“I miss you too… and the way things used to be. I can’t forget that feeling of hating you… but I can’t forget the feeling of loving you either. What am I supposed to do? Things are never going to be the same again. I can’t take back anything I did, and neither can you… but I still want to believe in you.”

She spoke with the composure of someone who had agonized over this every day for the past ten years, but saying it out loud in front of him made a lump form in her throat. The warmth of his hand on hers grounded her as she thought through her feelings.

He gritted his teeth at the pain in her voice, cursing himself for putting her in this position. “You’re right, things will never be the same and that's all my fault. I’m the one who broke your trust. I hurt you. None of this was your responsibility, I’m so sorry that I put that on you. That I made you feel this way.”

Pausing to choose his words deliberately, he spoke in a low voice. “I was a terrible father. A terrible husband. And I lost sight of what should be most important to me. I… I know I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t deserve this chance. But if you give it to me, I’ll spend every day of my life trying to make it up to you.”

Opening her eyes slowly, her gaze made its way to his face as she studied him. He bore a look which spoke of his unwavering determination, his ocean eyes dark with emotion.

Even before now, she had believed in him. She was bad with words and so was he; receiving those flowers from him had told her everything she needed to know.

That he was thinking of her. That he had cared about her, but lost his way. That his heart was still with her.

Most of all, that he was sorry.

She had already understood. Yet hearing it from him… being able to see his face, etched with sincerity… it tugged at her heart in a way she hadn’t felt in years. Flipping her hand over, she felt the roughness of his palm against her own as she intertwined their fingers.

His eyes widened at her gesture, trying to restrain himself from feeling hopeful. He knew from his repeated efforts with Shoto and Natsuo that expecting anything just led to more disappointment. Things were still cold and difficult at home. Every step forward often meant another step back. But for now… maybe just for now… he would allow himself to revel in the feeling of her hand in his own.

Suddenly he wondered, did she want him to say something more? Or was silence the right answer? His heart raced as he started to speak. “Rei…”

“Don’t say none of it was my responsibility.” She cut him off.

“They’re my kids too. Toya… he was my son too. We both made mistakes. I should’ve handled things differently. I wish I had found the right things to say to him.”

Both of their hearts sank at the mention of their son who had died. The room felt cold, a frigid mix of bitterness and blame between them. Her hand felt heavier in his, the weight of its meaning sinking in.

Even though he wanted to despair, to cry in her arms right then, he knew he didn’t have any right to. To even wish for that. She was the one who needed him to be strong. It was something he ran away from all those years ago, something he had to do for her now. He kept his expression straight and squeezed her hand.

“I should never have left all of that to you. You were right… of course you were right… when you said I was running away. In so many ways, you were stronger than me. You were always there, even when it was hard. Pushing you into a corner like that… it's my biggest regret.”

They weren’t used to talking like this - so much, so openly. Small sighs formed on her lips from the strain of articulating herself. The feeling of his hand in hers sometimes felt like a burden, and other times like she would be drowning without it there.

Wearily, she leaned against his shoulder.

“You’re not the only one with regrets. I want to face the past. Face our kids. We can’t change how we hurt them, but we owe it to them to try … we both have to take responsibility.”

He noticed the weary look on her face - she seemed tired of thinking about this. Maybe she was tired of being around him too. Yet she held him in place with her head on his arm … wasn’t that a good sign? Deciding to leave that conversation where it was, he embraced the feeling of being with her for the first time in all these years.

Gently caressing her with his thumb, he appreciated the coolness of the small, pale hand intertwined with his own. Looking around, he took in the simplicity of her room - it hardly looked lived in at all. Her closet was well organized, the dull hospital clothes with little variety were stacked one on top of another. She smelled like peppermint and cocoa butter, the slight hint of hospital disinfectant filled the air.

The sun had nearly disappeared from above the horizon now, a chilly breeze snuck into the room from a small crack in the window. Impatient stars twinkled over a blazing red sky, peeking through the crimson curtain closing on the day.

“Are you cold? I noticed you’re wearing a sweater…”

Slipping his hand from hers, he wrapped it around her shoulder, pulling her slightly into him.

“Ah… they keep the A/C a bit high. It’s pretty cold, even for me.”

She rested her head on his chest, relaxing into his warmth - a feeling she had nearly forgotten from her prolonged stay in this cold room.

“I’ll talk to the doctor on my way out. You shouldn’t have to wear a sweater inside during the summer, that's ridiculous...” Enji started to ramble.

A small furrow formed in his brow as he rattled on. She couldn’t help but find it sweet and a little funny - his gruff voice didn’t match the worriedness of his words.

On my way out… he had said. Suddenly, she didn’t want to be alone again. For the longest time, she had been scared of facing him. Now that he was here, she didn’t want to let him go. His bright presence filled the frigid room which she had grown accustomed to. The kids came and went when they could, which had always given her comfort. But having him here brought her an unforeseen kind of peace.

He was someone she could lean on, complain to, have expectations of.

She held onto him a bit tighter, realizing it wouldn’t be long before she returned to her dull routine.

“Rei… What's wrong? Are you tired? Should I go?” He squeezed her lightly, wondering if she had zoned out.

She met his eyes as she looked up at him and shook her head. His face was still full of concern as he started to shift away. Dreading the distance which was coming, she knew she needed to do something to convince him she was fine.

Reaching up, she caressed his face. “You still don’t get much time to shave?” The coarse stubble pinched her thumb as she moved it over his cheek. Surprised by her sudden gesture, he leaned back in, his heart fluttering at her affectionate touch.

“Y-yeah. Still busy as always.” It was always hard to think when her hands were on him.

Running her index finger lightly over his scar, she wondered if she should bring it up. Not wanting to disrupt the comfortable silence which had settled between them, she decided against it. The quiet whistle of the unusually chilly summer wind and their soft breaths was the only thing audible as she drew closer to him.

He stayed quiet, keeping his breathing low and his eyes on her. He was scared to move, scared to do something that would break the moment.

Without realizing it, she had been running her foot over his. He couldn’t resist smiling at that. It was a habit of hers, something she always did subconsciously when she was intimate with him.

The last time he recalled her doing that was when Fuyumi was around 3. He had returned home from patrol one night and found her having fallen asleep under the kotatsu while the kids snored away in their rooms. When he started to move her to their room, she pulled him under the kotatsu with her instead. It was a bittersweet memory… one of the last few times he remembered her so happy to be around him.

Here she was, for the first time in years, so comfortable that she had lost herself in the moment. It was taking everything in him not to bridge the distance… that short, short distance between them. She was so close he could count the dark lashes which framed her oval eyes. Without thinking, his hand slipped from her shoulder to her waist.

She seemed slightly thinner than he remembered, her sweater a bit oversized on her. He felt the fabric gather around his fingers as he pulled her closer, tightening his grip.

A slight pink blush formed on her cheeks, but she didn’t pull away.

What was she embarrassed for? Like he hadn’t done that hundreds of times. As if she didn’t know every inch of him like the back of her hand.

Still, he felt familiar and unfamiliar all at once. His touch was much more gentle, but held her with the same confidence he always had.

At once, she was sure more than anything - she wanted this. She wanted to be covered in his heat, comforted by his kisses, to be surrounded by him.

Her cheeks warmed at the realization and she blinked as she looked away, keeping her gaze downcast. Her stomach sank in the best way, a combination of nerves and butterflies as his nose brushed against hers.

Until then, he had been moving on instinct. The light touch of her nose against his woke him up immediately. All of a sudden a strangled gasp escaped him as he realized what he had almost done. He released her immediately and jolted back.

“Rei! I’m sorry. I’m.. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have..!” His heart raced, a mix of guilt and panic that he had overstepped her boundaries setting in.

She grabbed him by his tie and stopped him from getting up.

His expression said everything. His conscience weighed too heavily on him, burdened their past. He would never cross the line with her again - not unless she showed him it was okay.

“I don’t want you to move.” She said firmly.

He froze.

She loosened her clasp on his tie as she moved a bit closer, pulling him gently toward her. His eyes widened, but his voice caught in his throat.

Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. The warm glow of the lamp on her desk was the only thing illuminating his face in the darkness of twilight, the distance between them nothing now.

She placed her lips softly on his cheek, his skin rough against her. A hint of his cologne filled her nose, his jaw tightening as she laid another light kiss closer to his lips.

He gritted his teeth, begging himself to hold back. “Rei… what are you thinking?” His eyes closed and he let out a strained exhale as she clung to him, their breaths mingling.

“Look at me.” She moved her hands to his face.

Opening his eyes slowly, he saw her just inches from him. Her eyes were lidded, hazy with desire; her cheeks tinted pink. There was no hesitation in her touch.

Slipping his hand back around her waist, he drew her in once more.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, the anticipation growing more painful by the second.

His other hand made its way to her hair, threading his fingers through her wintery locks. Brushing her bangs out of her face, he rested his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes again.

If he did this… if he went along with this now… would he be able to hold back once they started? There were so many things he was worried about - hurting her again, pushing her past her limits, overwhelming her emotionally. He wanted her so badly, he knew if he gave in these would be the last few moments of his ability to think rationally.

The lines between them were blurring, chasing away his fears. Her hands ran over his nape, the electricity that pulsed through his body was irresistible.

He pressed his lips to hers, softly at first. It was such a sweet kiss, filled with years of pain and yearning; it nearly brought him to tears.

As he lay her gently on her back, she pulled him down with her by his tie, undoing it as she went.

Casting it aside, his lips were on hers once more - deeper this time, a muffled moan escaping him.

Her hands ran through his cherry red hair, feeling the familiar squeeze of his immense weight pressing her into the bed. She traced the contours of his face with her thumbs - his ears, his eyes, the curve of his jaw - searching for the man she once knew, learning about the one before her now.

Wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face in her neck. He could feel her pulse against his lips, his own heart rushing so hard he thought it would rip out of his chest. Slowly undoing the buttons of her cream colored sweater, he could taste the impatience in her quickening heart rate as he placed soft kisses along her collar.

Her grasp on his hair tightened almost painfully as she guided him, shivering with pleasure despite the heat growing between them. His control was slipping with every moment; he ran his hands down her body and clasped her hips, squeezing her tighter to him.

Sliding her hands up his back, her nails dug into his firm muscles through his shirt. His kisses were growing desperate, more lust than love in them as he moved his grip to her ass.

She could feel him growing harder against her as he nipped at her neck. He was somewhere between stripping away the line completely, and holding onto it for his own sanity. Sitting up just enough to pull off his jacket, she lay back down and began to softly kiss his ear. It was an obvious provocation, somewhere she knew he was weak.

Her teeth grazed his earlobe, drawing a small gasp from him. Lifting his head to look at her, he stared silently for a few moments before speaking.

“Rei.. you’re driving me crazy..”

She looked back up at him, eyes soft with longing, as she ran her hands over his strong arms - now covered only by the thin white cotton of his button-up. “You don’t have to stop…”

It was too much. The look in her eyes, the desire in her voice, the urgency of her touch…

The last shred of restraint drove a conflicted groan from him. “Shouldn’t I…?”

Pulling him tightly to her, she wrapped her arms around him and shook her head. “I don’t want you to.”

As he undid the buttons of her light blue hospital shirt with fingers unsteady from anticipation, a chill ran through her as her bare skin was exposed. He glanced down at her, taking in the sight of her vulnerable to him once again after so many years.

“You’re beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen… You always have been.” His hand gently moved over her stomach as he looked into her eyes sincerely.

Saying something like this was not an exaggeration or attempt at cajoling her, that was something she knew. It was in his nature to be direct about his thoughts. Sometimes it was hurtful, sometimes insensitive, and other times it was so sweet she didn’t know what to say.

His watchful gaze drank her in with such longing it made her feel somewhat self conscious.

Nuzzling into his neck to avoid his eyes, her lips made their way back to his ear. She could hear his low moans as she grinded against him, lifting her hips and drawing him further in.

Pulling off his own button up and undershirt over his head, he met her lips once more. His bare chest was against hers, the direct skin contact fueling the fire growing within him.

He slipped his tongue in her mouth, her sugary sweet taste was intoxicating as it mixed with the cinnamon spice of his own.

With her hands in his hair and soft moans against his lips, he couldn’t stop moving his hips against her. One hand cupped her breast, running his thumb over her nipple; the other tightly gripped her ass as his hardness pressed into her. He couldn’t help but want to feel all of her, his touch getting bolder as his rationality slipped.

She could hear him whispering her name softly as he kissed all over her face - it was like a prayer, an unspoken apology, a cry for her. Her hand tugged at his belt, feeling his heart rate quicken and breathing grow heavy as she undid his zipper. Biting his lip lightly, she rubbed his length over his boxers.

Before her fingers slipped under his waistband, he caught her wrist. “That’s enough,” he panted, his eyes hazy with lust. “Let's leave things here for now.” He wasn’t convincing at all, his grip was nothing compared to what his overwhelming strength could do if he truly wanted her to stop.

Talk was meaningless now, she would show him how she felt with her own body.

Freeing herself from his hold, she took his hand in her own and drew him back over her. His calloused palm was rough against the smoothness of her thin stomach as she pulled his hand below her pants and guided him between her thighs.

A surge of pleasure ran through her as he slid beneath her panties, unable to hold back her moans as his fingers grew sticky with her own need for him.

It was the final straw, his restraint fully snapping when he felt how soaked she was for him already. Pulling off her pants and underwear completely, his lips met hers with a feverish need as he gripped her hair with one hand, gliding the fingers of his other lightly over her softness.

She hadn’t been touched in so long, he could feel her coming undone with just the slow movement. It was nearly torturous for her, the urgency of his lips not matching the pace he kept with his fingers.

Her nails sank into his shoulders and back, clinging to him as he rubbed her; she couldn’t even recognize herself, the noises coming from her were so dirty. The sensation brought so much pleasure it was almost frustrating, making her lose her inhibitions and move her hips against him begging for release.

She spread her legs and his large fingers slipped inside easily, charging her with a slightly sore feeling that was irresistible.

“Mmph…” She moaned into his mouth as his tongue moved against hers in time with his fingers, occasionally nipping at her lip. His free hand caressed her face before sliding down her body, feeling her velvety soft skin tremble with arousal.

Wrapping his arm around her, he held her tightly, pressing a kiss to her cheek before shifting back to look at her.

Moving his touch to her clit, he watched her face contort as he worked her, the mind numbing sensation immediately overwhelming. Her breath caught, the circular motion building a steadily rising pressure in her core.

Closing her eyes, she succumbed to the feeling. Her hips jerked as she came onto his fingers, riding the high that rushed to her head.

Maybe she didn’t process it earlier, the emotional aspect of everything had taken precedence, but it was certainly obvious to her now - it was him. The man she had been with so many times. Those intense eyes. Tight muscles. Dominating hands, pushing and pulling her how he liked to please himself. When she was on her back, legs spread for him, that was when she remembered what it meant to be his.

A deep feeling of calm washed over her after her release. It was satisfying and a bit scary, but she still wanted more. Her body still ached for him. He had etched himself into her over the years, made every curve and corner of her his own in a way she felt incomplete without him.

Her hand slid under his boxers and he gasped at the electricity from her touch. Feeling his hard length in her hand as she stroked him, it wasn’t long before she couldn’t take the tension anymore.

He was just as pent up as her, and she could see the strain in his face as he fought back the urge to take her right then, his hips moving against her hand steadily.

As he pulled the sweater and pale blue button-up off her shoulders she was fully bare, her ivory skin kissed by the rising moonlight. Pressing his lips to her neck, his quiet frustrated moans reverberated through her body as she moved her touch back to his dick.

She knew it well, her hand wouldn’t be enough to satisfy him no matter what she did right now, nor would this be enough for her.

“Hurry up…” She whispered, tugging at his waistband. “I can’t wait anymore…”

He held her thighs in his hands as he sat back on his knees. His expression was delirious with lust as he gripped her firmly but without any force - his hold more of a final question than a statement. He looked deeply into her grey eyes, and his answer was already there.

Standing up for a moment, he peeled off his pants and boxers before returning his grip to her legs, his lips meeting hers once more. Her cool body melted into his warmth, pressing tightly into the bed as his heavy form covered hers. She could feel his length against her entrance as he cradled her to him, one hand wrapped around her body and tangled in her hair, the other beneath her knee, pressing it down to the mattress.

Moving his hips slowly, he stretched her out as he slid inside, every nerve in his body on fire from becoming one with her again. It was so much more intense than he remembered, almost painful to hold back and go easy to avoid hurting her. He kissed her forehead, comforting her as she took him in inch by inch, feeling her muffled cries against his chest.

“Fuck… so fucking tight..” He groaned. His mind was foggy, controlled by instinct now. Her nails trailing down his back drew small drops of blood, keeping him grounded and reminding him to be careful with her.

The pressure between her hips was incredible, it had been such a long time yet she could never forget this feeling of being filled up. Still, her body needed a minute to readjust to his size; he felt much bigger than she remembered. Back then she might have been accustomed to it, but now it almost felt like the first time again in a different way. Even though the memories of all the times she’d had sex with him should have prepared her, experiencing it again with her body was better than anything her mind could come up with. It was like all the tension between them was driven away as he drew deeper inside.

It wasn’t lost on her that more often than not, their relationship had relied on sex rather than addressing the problems between them. Even as everything crumbled around them, they hadn’t been able to pull away from each other. Have more kids, that’ll solve things. Opening her mouth to say something to him had been hard, opening her legs for him much easier - letting him be in charge, letting him dictate what they should do, avoiding thinking about it. She had tried to ignore it until it drove her mad.

But this, now, it was something else entirely. This was his promise to her. That everything had changed - he had changed. The way he touched her was different. It was no longer a demand, now it was a statement: he was here. He was hers. He would do whatever it took to prove to her he was sorry. And she was different too. She had found her voice, found her conviction. Picked herself up from the depths of the darkness she had sunk to. Being with him like this again, the way they were now - it was bittersweet, it was a little painful, but more than anything it was so relieving.

His toned abs contracted against her, tight with the effort of his restraint. Rubbing his lower back lightly above the point they connected, she lifted her legs and moved her ankles behind him. “It's okay…” She kissed his cheek. “I’m okay so… you can do what you want.”

Shivering at her cool touch and the sharp rush of pleasure from her pulling him in, he gripped her waist and kissed her. Burying his face in her hair, he upped the pressure between her hips and let out an unfiltered moan as he finally sank into her fully.

She bit his neck as he moved with a steady pace, trying to hold herself back from making too much noise. While he was still being mindful of her, every stroke made him more uninhibited than the last.

“Rei…” His voice was breathy and brimming with desire as he murmured into her ear. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. I’ve thought about you every night you were here.”

“Mmmph…” She could hardly respond as she took in the weight of his thrusts, feeling his need for her in the way he moved. Clutching at his hair, his back - anything she could hold - she clung to him for stability. His hands were running up and down her body in a way that drove her crazy, like he was touching all of her at once, and she was drowning in him.

Leaning back, he grabbed her hips tightly and smacked her ass as he flipped her over. This was more like the man she remembered - aggressive when he got into it, especially when he was ready to cum. Her stomach filled with butterflies as he reentered her from the back, locking his grip around her waist as he moved.

It was much more intense from this angle, hitting her deep in just the right spots. As he went faster she finally couldn’t hold her voice back, moaning into the mattress.

“It.. It feels good..” She managed, arching back into his firm hands. The warmth was rising in her core again as he held her in place, the stimulation inescapable and stomach twisting. It felt so good it hurt, she wanted to let it out again.

He could feel the fire building between her thighs as she trembled below him, her moans dripping with the need to release. Laying her on her stomach he shifted more directly on top, careful to keep most of his weight on his knees so he didn’t crush her. She grabbed onto his arm as he thrusted into her the way he knew she liked, her hips moving against him as she demanded more. It didn’t take much before he felt her twitch inside, shuddering and crying out as she came again.

His heart raced as he felt her pulse around him, the feeling of her finishing on his dick driving him wild. Wrapping his arms around her, he rolled to the side and buried his face in her neck as he thrust until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Rei… I’m gonna-” He panted into her ear. He groaned and tightened his grip, jerking his hips as he let it all out inside her.

Still keeping her close, he loosened his hold and kissed her softly. His breathing was heavy on her skin, the air settling to a steady calm. Cupping her face with one hand, he drew her into him gently. Her body was sticky with sweat, the sheets crumpled between them.

“Are you okay?” He squeezed her lightly.

She nodded as she gazed into his eyes, running her thumb over his lips. The way she felt now was indescribable. It was like she had been holding her breath and finally exhaled. Like a remembering part of herself she had forgotten about, like feeling like a woman again.

Her body was limp as she lay against him, still recovering from the rough act. She could feel his lips on her face, kissing her eyes, her cheeks, anywhere he could reach.

Nuzzling into his chest, her eyelids began to grow heavy; the warmth of being engulfed by him cozy and comforting. It reminded her of the early years of their marriage, embracing the long lost yet achingly nostalgic sensation of feeling the safest in his arms.

His rugged hand stroked her face, his palm full of calluses brushing against her soft cheek as his lips rested on her temple. He smelled faintly of sweat and smoke, masked by the spicy scent of his cologne. His wide chest rose and fell steadily as he took calm, deep breaths, relaxing into her.

As she drifted in and out of brief moments of sleep, she couldn’t help but reminisce. Not just of their past, but of all the other times they had been together like this. The high libido that came with his athletic body meant that she never got sleep on the nights he would come home, even when he was dead tired.

She could feel the same restlessness in his touch that always came after the first round, something he was trying to disguise so she could relax now.

“Was it too much..?” He mumbled quietly to himself when her eyes were closed.

A soft smile escaped her as she looked up at him in a slight daze. Running her hands over his arms, she felt his chiseled biceps and broad shoulders before trailing lower to caress his stomach. His skin trembled slightly under her fingertips, teasing him as they moved down.

He knew that drowsy look in her eyes, guessing what she was thinking immediately. “Wait. You look tired... just rest, okay? Let's stay like this.” Eyeing her with suspicion, he shifted to pull her away a bit.

Before he could protest further, her lips pressed against his neck and she leaned onto his chest, shifting him fully on his back. “Come here.” She whispered.

Her small hand moved over his abdomen, dwarfed in comparison to his wide torso. Now that she was tired, her movements were slower. It was no matter, she knew exactly where and how to touch him to turn him on.

“You’re not fair, you know.” He let out a sharp exhale.

Keeping her lips on his neck, she reached down and took him into her hand once more. His knees shifted up, moving his hips to her. He was already hard again, the pleasure from her touch mixed with the soft kisses overwhelming.

Burying his face in her hair and slightly leaning into her, he let out soft moans and ran his hand over her back as she stroked him.

She had always loved the way she could draw this reaction from him - have him come undone against her, feel him get harder and harder. That's when she felt like he was totally hers, literally in the palm of her hand.

His groans were getting rougher, more reckless as he moved his hips to meet her, thrusting into her hand. All of his self control had already been broken earlier, the last shred of rational thought disappearing as he succumbed to her touch.

With her leg gently straddling him, she could feel the way he was bucking reverberate through her body. The rocking motion against her, the moans in her ear and the feeling of him in her hand was turning her on too without realizing, warmth pooling between her thighs.

The drowsiness was slipping away as her breath grew uneven in time with his, her hand moving quicker. She didn’t even notice that she was moaning along with him, her hips grinding against his side, burning for him.

Shifting his hold to her waist, he pulled her closer. He could feel her wetness against him, riding him as she sought the same pleasure. Without hesitation he flipped their positions, putting her on her back. Her hands clung to his shoulders as he drew her into a breathless kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth and moving his fingers between her legs.

Kissing along her jaw, he lightly bit her earlobe. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” She nodded urgently, patting his back.

He was already pressed against her, his teasing voice low and husky. “I don’t know if I can hold back though.” His dick moved between her folds, his hips going at an achingly slow pace.

Letting out a frustrated moan, she drove her nails into his triceps.

The hint of pain on his arms, her soft body melting into his, the warm light from the lamp mixing with the chilling moonlight and dancing on her face full of lust and desperation - he was in an intoxicating haze.

Keeping his lips moving over her ear and neck, he coaxed himself back inside her. He had been so concentrated on being careful with her earlier that he hadn’t fully given into the feeling like he was now. Sliding in was much easier than before, her body relaxed and open for him, giving him permission to go deeper.

Her moans were like music in his ear, he could tell she was feeling it just as much as him when he started to move. She bit his lip when he kissed her, the small pricks of pain only encouraging him.

The bed creaked dangerously as his pace picked up, and suddenly it struck her that their voices must be carrying outside the room. Inside, the noises were so filthy she was nearly entranced by it. Her thighs strained from his large body driving her into the bed, feeling the weight of every thrust in her core as he became less hesitant to use his power. She was so wet she could barely feel her legs, a vague numbness growing in her lower half.

He sat back on his knees and held her hips in place as he pounded her, her submissiveness to his strength making him act wild. This carnal look had overtaken his face, showing her how completely he was consumed by her; the way it was controlling his every thought, every movement.

Gripping the sheets, she searched for something to anchor her. She was so filled with him there was nothing she could do but focus on taking it all in.

“Oh god… Enji…” Her voice was nearly begging, she didn’t know exactly for what, she just wanted him to do something about it.

It was extremely rare for her to call him by his first name like that, his eyes widened a bit as she cried it out. Pushing the strands of sweat covered hair sticking to her face out of the way, he brought his lips down to hers and kissed her lightly. “What is it?”

She shook her head as she caught her breath for a moment. “Don’t stop-” Her toes curled as his body leaning into hers brought him into her from a different angle, making her hold back screams of pleasure. He wasn’t even doing that on purpose, which was more maddening to her.

Tasting the ecstasy on her lips, he slid his tongue into her mouth and pressed her thighs down into the mattress. Moving slower, deeper, more deliberately he drew out those sweet moans he loved to hear - more unhinged, more raw, more passionate.

In some ways this was more difficult for her to deal with than his faster pace. It was like being rhythmically unlocked, coming apart under him. Pushing him away as much as she could, she twisted her body to roll onto her stomach.

He shifted back to let her move. Brushing her hair over one of her shoulders to see her full body, he ran his hands over her back and squeezed her hips. Her skin was buttery soft, coated in a slick layer of cool sweat.

Stroking himself while she lay comfortably on her front, the view of her in front of him was so surreal he was filled with a mix of disbelief and desire. There was no way he could have predicted this visit would end up with them like this, he hadn’t even expected to be able to see her let alone touch or taste her.

His heart was swollen with the want to shield her from the version of himself she had kept in her mind for so long. To hold her, comfort her, to undo the things he had said and done before.

She looked back at him, her head resting on the pillow which she had pulled below her. His breath was ragged as he pleasured himself while watching her, taking in the way her thin body was slightly shaking, her lips swollen from being kissed, skin flushed pink everywhere he had left his mark. Her eyes lingered on his for a few moments before she turned her face away again.

Bending at the hips as she arched toward him, she felt his big hands catch her right away. His fingertips nearly touched where they met by her bellybutton, his grasp firm and possessive. He was in control again, repositioning her how he liked beneath him as he lined himself up with her entrance. Her thighs were taut against his, she could feel the sinews of his thick muscle flexing as he drew her closer.

He twisted a handful of her snowy white locks around his fingers, the tightness of his grip straddling the border between pain and pleasure. Holding her in place by her hair and waist, he slid between her legs again with ease. A rough groan escaped him as he mounted her, eclipsed by her tight warmth once more. Closing his eyes he basked in the sensation - the feeling of being buried deeper inside than before, somewhere soft and wet where he could feel all of her as she submitted to him.

Pulling her head back while moving his hips, her arch deepened as he fucked her slowly from behind. She could hear the sound of herself, her strangled gasps, the squelching of her own body as he moved in and out of her, the noise of her skin clapping as the pace of his thrusts picked up.

As he let go of her hair, he grabbed her shoulder to keep her steady. Her moans were muffled as she bit the pillow, the sheets below her bunching under her grip as she held on beneath his rough movements. The numbness which was creeping had fully taken over her legs, his hold on her the only thing keeping her from collapsing.

The look of her coming apart like that, clinging to the bed as she gave in to his demanding thrusts, it made him want to see how much she could take. This greedy part of him wondered what she would look like if he gave her so much pleasure she couldn’t think about anything else, completely falling apart with satisfaction.

Leaning over her until his chest was pressed to her back, he kissed her neck and then back lightly while gently placing his hand under her belly and giving it a squeeze. She gave him a curious look from the side of her eye as she tilted her head toward him a little. His face was closer than she expected, the warmth of his heavy breaths meeting her flushed face as he rested his chin on her shoulder. A feverish look filled his eyes, he was doing that thing where he refused to look away until he got a certain reaction he wanted. She wasn’t sure what he was about to do, but she knew it wasn’t going to be easy on her.

He slid his hand down her stomach, reaching between her thighs until his fingers met her swollen clit. Her hips jerked as she cried out from the sudden sensation, but there was no escaping it. He was inside, outside, all around her as he rubbed slowly, holding her by the waist to stop her from fidgeting. The size of his large body meant he could keep her in place with ease while moving his hips and fingers against her.

It was so embarrassing, the way she was gripping the sheets, eyes in a daze, hanging on for life as the pleasure built within her. Looking away from him, she buried her face in the pillow to hide her expression, her strained breathing giving away just how much she was feeling it. His fingers moved quicker until her body shook with pleasure under him, her muffled cries delirious from the sensation.

She felt him getting closer and closer himself, leaning back onto his knees as he gave her ass a tight slap and his thrusts grew reckless. His hands kept her fastened to him, holding her hips hard enough to leave light red streaks from the tension. Closing his eyes, he cursed under his breath, leaning his head back and groaning with effort as he trembled with the need to finish.

Her thighs were wet with sweat and cum, the soft skin stinging where he’d smacked and gripped her.

“Rei.” He tugged her hair once, urgently, to get her attention.

“Can I…?”

Glancing back at him, she nodded and braced herself on her hands.

She felt the heat between her legs as he let it out deep inside her, moaning and gripping her waist as he came.

Removing himself from within her, he kept his fingers inside. He could feel his own seed as he moved them in and out of her wetness, her hips rocking as his thick fingers kept her high.

Biting back desperate cries of frustration, she rubbed against him, her insides burning. The friction was driving her crazy as she dripped with the mix of her and him. He moved relentlessly, even as he felt her stickiness pour over, his hand slick with her release.

Her arms quivered from the strain of holding herself up before she finally collapsed onto her chest. Rolling her onto her back, he tucked the pillow beneath her head - it had nearly fallen off earlier from the way the bed had been shaking.

Starting at her neck, he made his way down her body with kisses, feeling how tender she was. Every press of his mouth drew a soft gasp; small bites and nips made her shiver. She grabbed his hair as he went lower, short stubble pinching her wherever his lips met her skin. When he lightly teased her inner thighs, she tensed in anticipation and tightened her hold on his locks.

As she lifted her legs up to let him in, he could tell how much she ached in the way she guided him - the conflict between craving it and feeling overwhelmed. Bringing his face to her center, he ran his tongue over her folds, red and dripping with desire. He tasted his bitterness mixed with the sweet honey that seeped out as he moved against and inside her.

His hands fastened around her thighs kept her from squirming, her hips jerking involuntarily and heels digging into his shoulders. She felt his tongue deep inside her, her lashes wet with tears forming from the concentrated pleasure that made her body tingle. Piercing blue eyes watched her expressions and measured her reactions, driven by the determination to completely satisfy her.

Lapping up all of her release, he flicked his tongue over her clit as she shook over and over. His fingers joined his mouth, disappearing inside her as she dripped onto his wrist. Choking back delirious cries, she gasped helplessly as she succumbed to the constant sensation, tugging at his hair with every movement.

He sat up, sensing she was at the edge of her limits. Slowly and carefully, he touched her overstimulated body - so sensitive that even the lightest brush of his fingers made her moan. Placing his hands on either side of her head, he bent down and kissed her warm, reddened cheek, drawing a sharp exhale and a shudder that echoed through her. Her face was streaked with tears, her bottom lip swollen and covered in teeth marks.

It was almost cruel, the feeling of him getting hard against her thigh at the sight of her drowning in the sensations he had given her.

Her heart fluttered at the subtle restraint in his gestures. His eyes told her he was riled up, desperate to fuck her again - but he still moved softly, without any demand, even as his own body betrayed him.

Grabbing onto his flexed triceps as she steadied her breath, the thin gold chain he often wore swung lightly in her face - something she hadn’t even noticed he still had on until now.

It was probably tucked under his shirt when he came in, a minor part of his appearance she had overlooked in the blur of everything happening. The taste was familiar - warm and metallic - as it brushed against her lip.

“I’ll be right back.” He kissed her forehead as he started to get up.

She could guess where he was going - probably to the bathroom to finish by himself, giving her time to recover.

The thought made her stomach twist. Even if it was only temporary, she didn’t want to feel the emptiness of the bed alone right now. It was a painful reminder of all the nights they had spent apart, of all the things she’d rather not think about at this moment.

Her mind flickered with curiosity, wondering what it would feel like to have him inside when she was this sensitive.

Squeezing his arms, she held him in place with as much strength as she could muster.

“One more time..”

He looked down at her stunned, small beads of sweat from his temple trailing down his cheeks and nose. His head was clouded with lust and longing, still ringing shamelessly with wanting more of her.

“One more time?... You want to do it one more time?”

She nodded. “Mmn…I’m okay so...”

Her voice was hoarse, eyes glazed and breath shaky from exertion. If he were more responsible, more grounded, in the right frame of mind, there's no way he would have agreed. Yet, the words she spoke and the way she clung to him made it impossible to hold back the part of him that was overflowing with need.

“I’ll be quick then..”

There was no hesitation in his movements as he took her thighs in his big hands and spread them apart. He held her open the way he wanted, burying himself deep inside with an urgency. The cream that covered her entrance made it effortless for him to slide in, feeling her twitching and the prickling heat of being inside. Her softness was bright red from taking his strokes, the same ones picking up again as he let out loud, reckless moans.

It was such an immediately mind numbing sensation that her mind went blank, disassociating from the way he was thrusting into her sore, sensitive parts. She nearly came from every move of his hips, the feeling of going to the edge and back a torturous repetition.

The bed strained and creaked as he pounded her. Grabbing onto the pillow, she clung to the cover for stability as he kept her legs wide open and took her how he liked. He was so quick to be selfish without any pause, she couldn’t tell if he was moving out of lust for her or to satisfy himself. Her chest tightened as she watched him through blurry eyes. It reminded her of the things she hated him for - the man who could break her apart and put her together in one.

But still, there was something more she could see even through the daze… the steadfast way he was watching her, a slight furrow in his brow, the devotion in his eyes. It struck her there was no way he would’ve held back with her being the one asking for it; the confidence in his hold what she had unjustly resented as selfishness, some of her physical frustration was spilling into her emotions.

“Let me… Just let me finish..” She managed, reaching down and grabbing his hand.

It was rare for her to assert what she wanted him to do, usually swept up by the push and pull of his dictations. He was taken aback by the desperation in her voice - the directness of her demand and her hand on his making him pause.

Shifting his hands under her knees, he brought her legs up onto his shoulders and leaned down until she folded into her chest. He angled into her in a way that would let her finish from his thrusts, hearing her soft gasps as he started to move again.

His hips moved slow and deep, feeling her shiver as he brought her closer. With a few long strokes hitting the right spots, she let out a breathless cry, shaking as she came under him. Her orgasm hit her whole body, a light headed feeling like a fever coming over in the aftermath.

Pulling out immediately, he sat back and let her ride out her high. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do - she seemed insistent that he stay here, but he was painfully hard and there was no way he’d touch her now after seeing how sensitive she was.

She took a minute to breathe, her mind clearing as she came down.

A faint hallucinatory haze clung to her as she sat up, the light from the moon hanging low in the sky and the warm glow of the lamp giving her a decent view of the room. Their clothes were strewn on the ground, jumbled together carelessly.

The noisy buzz of cicadas slipped in through the slight crack in the window - a low, constant hum mixing with the soft panting sounds still drifting between them.

What time was it?

The thought struck her suddenly, jolting her fully awake. Visiting hours were probably ending shortly... although the doctor had been pretty lenient, letting her do more or less as she liked since her discharge was coming up.

“It’s late... Do you have to go soon?”

Shifting backward a little, he rested his weight on his hand. “I probably do.”

She ran her eyes over him for a moment.

“You’re still hard…”

“It’ll go away on its own.” He blinked, glancing away.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. He was so awkward when trying to be considerate, like he didn’t know how to act.

Sitting up on her knees, she placed her hands on his shoulders.

“Lie down.” She requested, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

He looked at her curiously but complied, wondering what she was planning. Allowing her to guide him onto his back, he settled against the headboard.

Turning away from him, she could hear his ragged inhale as she took him into her hand. She wasn’t the only sensitive one- his tip was red and leaking, brimming with desire. Running her thumb over the swollen head, she bent down and licked the same spot she touched, tasting the sticky coating of her own release on him before slipping him into her mouth.

His hips jerked and he let out a gasp of surprise. The pleasure flared immediately at the feeling of her lips wrapped around him, the sight and the sensation more than he could handle. He didn’t realize how tense he had been until he relaxed and let her take over, letting out occasional sighs and moans as she moved.

She felt him gripping her hair, tightening his hold as she used her tongue and stroked his shaft. Her head bobbed up and down as she took in all of him, the stretch from the thickness of his length and the way he hit the back of her throat making her gag at times.

The bitter taste of precum filled her mouth as he started to thrust into her, moving against her hands stroking him. His control was snapping again, the fingers tangled in her hair getting rough with the way he guided her.

Releasing his grip on her locks, he rubbed her back and hips instead as he felt himself getting closer. Her skin shuddered with every touch, muffled moans echoing in her mouth and vibrating against his dick.

The sloppy, wet sounds of her working him were just turning him on more, the sight of her body as she bent over wasn’t making it easier either. Shutting his eyes just made him more aware of being inside her mouth, her presence was inescapable.

Even though the pleasure was building to a breaking point between his hips, this aching need to feel her closer was driving him insane.

“Fuck.. I can’t help it…” He groaned, lifting her up off him.

Sitting up impatiently, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto his lap.

The soft skin of her inner thighs clung to him, sticky and warm, as he positioned her directly over him. He could smell the sultry scent of sweat and sex clinging to her, his spicy cologne and fiery musk blended with the subtly sweet mint that she usually exuded.

“Ahh..!” Crying out, she sank her nails into his shoulders as he reinserted himself with a hot squelch, letting out a low, satisfied exhale.

It was like the wind was knocked out of her right away. She went limp in his secure hold as he slowly lowered her hips, penetrating her pliant body inch by inch.

He could see just how overwhelming and intense his reentry was for her, her forehead scrunching with effort and small round tears forming in her eyes. Giving her some time to get adjusted, he moved his hands up her torso and settled his thumbs under her breasts, taking her sensitive nipple into his mouth as he cupped the soft skin beneath his fingers.

The warmth of his tongue and his soothing caresses filled her stomach with butterflies, the familiar tingling heat gathering between her legs. Her hips began to move against him instinctively as she straddled him, grinding in sync with his rhythm. There was a subtle rasp to her building moans, an unruly desperation overriding her tenderness.

Feeling her sink further down onto him as she softened up some more and thawed into his touch, he slid his hands back down, grabbing her ass while keeping his lips on her chest. Rocking her back and forth against him, he began to thrust into her with a steady pace.

She lifted his chin, bringing his face right up to hers. With noses almost touching, she gazed into his eyes, sinking into the vivid blue depths that washed over her. It was obvious how his mind and body were lost in her, the way he looked back at her like he was the one drowning.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she drew him into a deep kiss. His breathing was shallow, firm hands gently stroking her back and combing her hair with his fingers as he moved. She bit his lip occasionally, sliding her tongue along his and quietly moaning into his mouth as he guided her hips in this blissful way that made her melt with pleasure.

Her thighs pressed down on him, taking in all of his slow, desperate movements and reciprocating. It felt completely different from this angle, the way she dripped onto him as she rode with his directions - it was like being completely engulfed by her wetness, controlled by the whim of her every touch. Her fingers were lightly sifting through his hair, grazing his ears and brushing over his face, her stormy grey eyes clouded with passion.

Tilting her head back as he moved faster and faster, his lips pressed against her neck, kissing and biting frantically as he got closer to finishing. She hung onto him as his rough movements pulsated through her body, his arms holding her rigidly to him, tensing up as the heat knotted to a breaking point in his gut; his biceps flexed as he squeezed her tighter.

“It’s okay…” She panted. “You can do it again.”

The permission from her completely broke him; he couldn’t hold back as his body overflowed with desire. His eyes clamped shut and he came deep inside of her, pulling her down, making sure she felt every inch of him. He kept her hips locked to him with his steadfast grip, moaning without restraint as he let it all out.

It was so intense, she was almost scared to pull apart. Keeping him inside, she pressed her lips to his and hugged him to her in the hazy aftermath. Her tongue was slow and deliberate against his, savoring the sensation of still being connected.

Feeling himself still inside, still tasting her, still holding her tight against him, he kissed her back in a trance. Everything that just happened was so overwhelming, it flashed through his mind and made his heart race. The emotions that had taken a backseat were creeping up in this visceral way that made his whole body ache, conflictingly, longingly.

She leaned back to look at him through sleepy eyes, smiling softly, her hands lingering on his face.

How was he supposed to react to that expression? He couldn’t remember the last time she had looked at him like that. That peaceful and satisfied, that happy in his presence. It was so long forgotten, it was almost foreign.

As he gazed back up at her, he felt his heart seize. Was it heartache? The guilt that he should have no right to touch her like this? He was strangely emotional, he wasn’t sure what was happening to him.

This rising mix of shame and regret made it hard to look her in the eyes. Pulling her back into him, he wrapped his arms around her in a deep hug. He didn’t want to let go, even as his own feelings frightened him.

Her cheek was warm with exhaustion against his as she clung to him for comfort. She could feel his heartbeat pounding as he drew her in, his breath warm and heavy on her skin as he buried his face in her neck.

From the way he held her and the shift in his behavior, she could sense how overcome he was. Rubbing his back lightly, she pressed a kiss to his head. His hair was messy from how she had pulled at it and smelled slightly of shampoo, the rough strands tickling her nose.

The way she hung on to him - even with the memories of the past, how terrible he had been, how painful it was for her - it made him hate himself more. He knew he didn’t deserve an ounce of her kindness or affection. He didn’t even have the right to ask for forgiveness, especially not after all the years of heartache he had put her through because of his own selfishness and stupidity.

A sense of helplessness washed over him, this dread that there was nothing he could say or do that would even begin to make up for what he had done.

Yet, here he was, shamelessly accepting her comforting touches. Allowing her to make him feel better, when he should be the one reassuring her.

Her fingers were running through his hair absentmindedly, the silence between them slowly filling with something unspoken, ready to pour over.

She felt him tear up against her, hugging her tighter as the heavy drops spilled, and her own eyes began to water. It wasn’t easy to untangle her feelings; their relationship was so complicated, so deeply intertwined, filled with thorns.

Sharp pain coursed through him as he heard her sniffle, crying along with him. Gathering some courage, he pulled her back and ran his thumbs under her eyes, wiping the thin streaks tracing her warm pink cheeks.

“You were always with me but I felt alone…” Her eyes welled. “I tried so hard to hold things together.”

The dam broke, and her tears spilled uncontrollably over his hands.

His stomach dropped. It wasn’t just her words, it was the raw emotion and hurt he heard in her voice; the knowledge that he was the one who had made her feel that way made his gut twist. There was a horrible pang in his chest, suddenly the picture of all the times she had cried alone because of him was clear in his mind. The guilt that wrecked his body was so severe, it made him physically wince.

“Say something Enji..” She whispered, placing her hands on his face. It was her way of letting him know she wasn’t mad, she just wanted comfort.

Panic ran through his veins at her request. He didn’t think there was anything he could say to make up for all the years of pain and loneliness he had put her through. It felt like the most important thing he was tasked with saying his whole life, yet nothing he could come up with was right. Everything sounded like an excuse… pathetic platitudes… or even worse, an apology born from the position she had put him in, rather than from his heart.

The feeling of her hands on his face, the way she was asking for consolation despite it all being his fault, froze him in place. He longed to reach out to her, but not knowing how left him feeling lost and overwhelmed.

Waiting patiently for him, she quietly wiped his tears, even though she was crying too.

It made him sick with self loathing, the way he could do nothing when she was hurting. How she had to be understanding, even when he was the one asking for another chance. The feeling was so nauseating, he felt like he was about to break down.

Sensing his turmoil, she sat back on the bed, giving him some space. She kept her body toward him, so he knew she wasn’t walking away… she wanted to talk now, but also didn’t want to force him.

“Will you talk to me..?” She asked gently after a few minutes, placing her hand on his, while maintaining the distance she had created.

A million things came to mind, some things he had thought about once in a while, others that had been on his mind for years; all of the important and simple things he had longed to say to her. The weight of everything that had built up trapped the words in his throat. He couldn’t find the right place to start.

Deciding to give him more time, she stood up to put her clothes back on.

That was when reality hit him. The moment was almost over, and soon she would be out of reach again. The notion of not being with her all of a sudden was too much to bear. Fear rose in his chest as he realized he still hadn’t said anything, at the idea that she might not give him another chance like this.

Picking up his clothes, she handed them to him as she dressed. “You should get going soon.. It would be nice if you could have dinner with the kids.”

He knew that once he left there was no telling how long it would take before he got the chance to come back. She would hold this disappointment in her heart maybe forever, a cruel addition to all the ways he had wronged her. That he had stayed silent when she was open to talking to him, finally ready to be vulnerable, to tell him how he had hurt her. When she needed something from him, he wasn’t there again.

Maybe she would think he just didn’t care.

Quickly putting on the clothes she had handed him, he grabbed her hands to keep her from turning away.

As he towered over her, his expression was hard to read. The low chirping of turtle doves and the hum of cicadas were the only thing audible, the light breeze creeping through the window fluttering her ivory locks as she looked up at him.

Disheveled red strands framed his face, his clothes messy and loosely thrown on in a hurry. He met her gaze with soft eyes, full of desperation.

“What is it…?” She let him hold her hands as she waited expectantly.

His heart ached. Her tone was so delicate and understanding, it just broke him more. The warmth of her small hands in his, the expectations in her voice, the way she let him hold onto her.

Even if he didn’t have the words yet, there was no way he was letting her go.

The silence was loud, but not exactly uncomfortable. Caressing him with her thumb, she tried to take some of the pressure off. “Say hi to the kids for me… and ask Natsu to eat properly. He’s been having nothing but ramen since he went to college.”

A small smile crept onto her face. “He probably won’t listen to either of us, though. He’s stubborn just like you.”

He squeezed her hands tight, the resignation in her voice bringing him to the brink of tears again.

She had all but given up on being able to talk this time. He didn’t seem like he was ready to say anything. Somewhere inside her, though, she hoped he wouldn’t leave without settling things.

“It's okay. You should go.” She said quietly.

Walking him to the door, she clung to this last chance. Even though she knew having this wish would probably just hurt her more when he was gone, it was the last thing she could hang on to.

The view of the end brought him dread. Soon, they would be apart. Somewhere he couldn’t hold her, talk to her, see her again until who knows when. Until an eternity passed, until all the wounds they had reopened started to heal on their own, without each other.

Rays of the soft hallway light seeped through the crack in the door, not too far ahead. Her eyes were fixed to the ground in acceptance, even though she hadn’t let go of him. The panic he felt was like nothing he had experienced before.

Turning suddenly, he pinned her against the wall, trapping her between his arms as he loomed over her.

Her eyes widened. “Wh- What’s wrong?”

His expression was brimming with a blend of emotion and desperate determination. The words were bubbling up, the ones he had held onto for so long. The ones he didn’t think he deserved to speak.

“Tell me..” She touched his chest lightly. His heart was racing.

The words spilled out in a rush. “I know… I know I don’t have any right to say this.” His voice shook as he spoke.

“I love you Rei… I really love you… I never stopped thinking about you. I know it’s shameless to say this after everything I’ve done. After how much pain I caused you.”

“I’ve thought about you every day, all these years. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.. The only one I’ve ever loved. I don’t know what to do without you. I know all this isn’t enough.. I don’t even know where to start. Making things up to you… that's the only reason I keep going.”

Everything he was saying poured into her, filling her up with a steady sense of peace. She didn’t know what she had expected from him, but the knowledge that he was thinking about her so seriously, that he hadn’t left them behind, made all the tension inside her wash away.

She wrapped her arms around him, her silent embrace enough to indicate how she felt.

It was like his body broke down with relief, he clutched her to him as hard as he could. He gripped her so tight, it was like he was trying to make her a permanent part of him.

Bending down and pressing his face to her hair, he was overtaken by emotion. “I love you.. I’m so sorry for everything.. I’m sorry I wasn’t the man you deserve.. The husband you deserve. If you still can.. please give me a chance to make things right.”

Now she was the one who could hardly speak. It had been a long, hard journey to come to terms with everything that had happened. Everything that he had done. At times she couldn’t stomach it, other times she didn’t know who to blame - him or herself.

She had reasoned with herself that the man she once loved might be gone forever. That he had disappeared into a storm of obsession, and the years they had spent together didn’t mean as much to him as they had to her.

Even though she could have pushed him away, told him to leave, told him not to come back, she had always silently hoped he would return. Hoped the day would come when he would fight for her the way he was now, and face her without turning away.

“Took you long enough..” She sniffled, reciprocating his tight hug.

Her words made him want to cry and laugh at the same time. It felt like a part of his heart that he didn’t even know was broken had been mended. That feeling of completeness was so wonderful, he just wanted to hang on to her and never let go.

Holding her close, he felt her slow, calmed breaths as she let everything he said settle comfortably between them.

Leaning down to meet her at her height was a strain for him, almost having to fold in half. Grabbing her by the waist, he lifted her up and wrapped his arms around her.

Her feet left the floor as she felt him draw her closer. She sank into his arms easily, so big they practically covered all of her as he held her. Nuzzling into his neck, she inhaled his familiar scent, basking in the warmth of his embrace and feeling all the tension wash away.

He stroked her hair gently, running his fingers through her snowy tresses. His touch was light and reassuring, moving down her back before tracing her whole body in long, slow motions.

It was as if he was memorizing all of her - the silkiness of her hair, the curve of her waist and the way it fit perfectly in his hands, the firm squeeze of her thighs against him as he held her up with ease. He didn’t want to miss a single part of her, taking in every little detail like he couldn’t get enough.

Lifting her head, she met his gaze, their faces just inches apart. His striking blue eyes, which once filled her with fear, now seemed mesmerizing - an oasis in the midst of his rugged, scarred face. Her hand found his cheek, lightly running her thumb over the deep gash etched into his skin.

Getting to see her up close without the stress of the situation on his mind, he noticed just how beautiful she still was. It was like she had just gotten better with time. Her soft, round eyes were as grey as clouds gathering before rain; her pale cheeks dusted with pink.

She felt her face redden from the intimacy of the moment, but she didn’t pull away.

Noticing the subtle shift in her look, he couldn’t resist drawing her closer, taking her chin between his thumb and index finger. The way she leaned into his touch like instinct just made him want more, her quiet affirmation that she wanted the same.

Pulling her more snuggly against him, he pressed her against the wall. Her legs were wrapped around him, and her face rested in his hand.

His head rushed, filling with conflicting thoughts. But he couldn’t deny what kept coming to the forefront of his mind, the aching need to have her in all the ways he craved once again..

The realization of where this was headed sank in for her, a dizzying clarity hitting her as she saw the desire in his eyes.

“No way..” Her eyes widened with surprise. “The doctor could come at any time to make you leave..” She whispered.

Chills ran through her as his firm grip pinned her tighter against the wall. She could feel his need, feel all of him against her as he drew her in.

“Seriously..?” She gasped. She couldn’t believe they were on the brink of going for the fourth time that evening. Even though the soreness was settling in, she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t want this too..

He could hear the disbelief in her voice mixed with want, and it was like everything he had been suppressing slipped out.

Leaning forward, he captured her lips in a deep kiss that expressed everything he felt - all of the love he had buried away, all of the ways he had ached and longed for her, every little thing he had wanted to tell her but just didn’t have the words.

“Mm..” A soft moan escaped her lips and he pressed himself into her, grabbing her thighs and moving more intensely. His tongue slid into her mouth, tangling with hers as the temperature rose between them.

Her fingers tangled in his hair as the passion in his touches ramped up. Squeezing the bare skin on her stomach, his hand slid under her shirt, just before making its way into her pants.

He reached between her legs and rubbed his fingers against her, watching as she threw her head back from the sudden wave of pleasure. The cries that escaped her lips were the sweetest sound he had ever heard, the ache building in him was reaching a breaking point.

She was already wet from before, the sensitivity making her move her hips back and forth, biting her lip as she tried to stay sane.

Peeling her off the wall, he carried her effortlessly over to the edge of the bed, setting her down gently. He drew her into another deep kiss before kneeling in front of her, pulling her pants down as she leaned back onto the sheets.

Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself as he took in the sight of her bare again, looking down at him with sultry eyes filled with the same lust burning inside him.

He pressed a kiss to her inner thigh and met her gaze. “I need you..”

“Again?” There was a hint of incredulousness in her voice.

Smiling a bit, he squeezed her leg. “Again and again… I can’t get enough of you.”

His words made her a bit shy, the seriousness with which he spoke and how she still felt a little awkward in this position even after all the times she had been here.

Covering her face with her hands, she put her legs on his shoulders. “Just make it quick..”

She felt his face in between her thighs, and the warm sensation that spread through her body was immediate. It was impossible to control her moans, the mix of sensitivity and the emotions that were coursing through her made her putty in his hands.

Her hips rocked against his face as he moved his tongue over her, licking as she grabbed his hair. He could hear her get louder as she gave in to the feeling, and he needed to hear more of her, needed to make her feel even better. The room filled with the sound of her voice, he couldn’t help but revel in how she was drowning in the pleasure he was giving her.

She couldn’t control her body’s response to everything he had said and the way he was using his mouth, it was embarrassing how wet she was for him. Her head was fuzzy as he ran his tongue over her clit, and all of a sudden she couldn’t take anymore.

Sitting up, she quickly reached down and undid his belt. “Hurry up already…” She was out of breath, dying to be one with him again too.

He grabbed her hips and moved her back on the bed as he positioned himself between her legs, kissing her neck while she undid his zip. The impatience in her hands just made him anxious for more. “I’m hurrying, you’re driving me crazy..”

“Be faster then.” The way they talked to each other became sharper as the tension rose - it was more than just physical, it was the emotional need to be together again.

It felt different than the other times, so much more intense that it was all consuming.

She didn’t care about talking politely anymore or acting shy anymore, she was just desperate to feel him inside.

“I can’t take it.. mm” She grabbed at his hips. “Put it in..”

There was something about her - completely unashamed, saying what she wanted without holding back, telling him what to do - that had him completely losing control.

Pulling his pants down, he felt himself connecting with her again. The sensation was so overwhelming he thought he would go crazy, the feeling of being inside her the most powerful thing in the world.

Without thinking, his hands went to her waist, gripping her tight as he began moving - slowly at first but he was already getting greedy just from how good she felt.

It was the fourth time that evening she had opened her legs for him, feeling the full weight of his body as he leaned over her once more, thrusting as he kissed her forehead occasionally. The chain around his neck brushed her face as he moved, the metal warm with his body heat.

Holding onto his arms, she closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe the noises she was making were coming from her, so lost in him that she could hardly tell where she ended and he began.

His lips were all over her face, kissing somewhere new each time, his hands running up and down her body as he moved deep inside.

She grabbed onto his belt as she took in his thrusts, holding on for stability but also pulling him closer.

As he ran his fingers through her hair, his kisses moved lower, trailing over her neck and chest. Unbuttoning her shirt, she felt him take her nipple in his mouth.

Scratching at his neck, she gripped his hair as he moved his tongue over her sensitive spots. Below the belt he was moving slowly, but it was so powerful and deep she was breathless.

“Come here..” She whispered quietly, hardly able to talk. Lifting him off her chest, she hugged him to her, hiding her face in his neck.

He could tell just how vulnerable she was feeling, so overstimulated she could barely form words, pulling him closer and finding refuge in his presence. It filled him with this confirmation of how badly he wanted to make her feel loved, to cherish her in all the ways he always should have.

At this point she was barely herself. As she started to lose control of her quirk, she felt herself accidentally release ice through her fingers as she gripped onto him.

The feeling was sharp and cold on his warm back, covered in small beads of sweat. He had only felt her lose control of her quirk during sex a few times before, realizing just how overcome she was, unable to hold back even this physical reaction.

It made him wrap his arms even tighter around her, holding her lovingly. His heart hurt with how much he loved to see her so open to him in a way he hadn’t for years.

His emotions were making him more erratic too, she could see him being careful not to burn her as flames escaped from his eyes and mouth. He was trying not to lose control completely, he knew his fire could burn so hot it would really hurt her.

Quickly letting go of his neck, she felt ice burst through her hand as she nearly came. She gripped the sheets instead and they froze around her, arching into him as frosty breaths escaped her mouth.

His thrusts grew quicker as he watched her lose herself in the moment. More fire released from his mouth and now his back, burning the bottom of his shirt and jacket a bit.

Her hands slid under his shirt, cooling him with her ice and drawing him deeper inside. He let out a relaxed sigh at the comfortable, cold feeling against his hot skin.

“I’m close..” She breathed into his chest, her voice muffled by his shirt.

Reaching between her legs, he finished her off with his fingers, the feeling on her clit so insanely strong she almost screamed involuntarily. He could feel her legs shake as she dripped onto him, drawing her into a kiss.

Even though she came, he didn’t take his hand off her softness, rubbing slowly in circles as she leaked onto him. His other hand held her hair, keeping her in place as their tongues tangled together.

The feel of her trembling under him made him want to tease her more, feel more of her as waves of ecstasy coursed through her body. She could do nothing but curl her toes and accept it, her abs sore from contracting with pleasure.

Biting his lip, she grabbed his arm to stop him from rubbing. She pulled his hand to her face, bringing his fingers to her lips. Looking him in the eyes, she took them in her mouth and started sucking on them.

Between her legs she could feel he was harder than ever, meeting her eyes as she took his fingers in. The taste was a bit salty, covered in her own sweet stickiness, the thickness of his fingers almost making her gag.

She unbuttoned his shirt and they were bare chested against each other. The sound of his belt buckle slapping against her thighs grew louder, smacking her harder as his thrusts grew faster and faster.

Pulling his fingers out of her mouth, he embraced her. His hard abs rubbed against her soft stomach as he moved, the ice from her hands occasionally freezing wherever her touch met his skin.

Her lips were on his ear, moving softly in the way she knew he liked. With a quiet voice, weak from exertion, she murmured, “Kiss me..”

Hearing her ask for what she wanted like this was still so unusual to him, in a good way. It made him happy she still wanted things from him. Caressing her face, he softly pressed his lips against hers. He wanted so badly to give her everything, the need for her building in his center again.

She could feel how close he was by how he was moving, moaning as his kiss grew more passionate. The arms wrapped around her body constricted, smothering her against him.

Wrapping her legs around him, she gave him the implicit permission to finish. He pulled back to look at her and she nodded.

It was the most sensitive she had been all night, crying out as he began to thrust faster. Her hands ran up and down his torso, leaning her head back as his mouth met her neck once more. She could feel him mark her up, his teeth nipping at the sore skin.

She gasped, feeling the heat build in her core as well just from the way he was moving in her. Gripping his face, she kissed him all over, biting his lip and tongue.

He could tell just how much she wanted it, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. With a final rough thrust, he felt himself come with a force, moaning as he filled her up more than he ever had before.

Through the intensity of his own, he could feel as she finished, her hips moving against him as she trembled.

As he removed himself, he saw her drip with the mix of her and him. It was so overwhelming, he just needed to pull her close and wrap his arms around her, his heart surging with love for her. He couldn’t leave until he was sure she knew how strongly he felt, how important she was to him.

She looked up at him half asleep as he cradled her. “I didn’t know I could be even more sleepy than before.” Yawning, she nuzzled into him, her inhibitions completely lost.

Smiling at the way all her barriers were gone, he found the sight of how small and cozy she looked burrowing into his chest so adorable.

As he relaxed into the messy bed, he saw her sit up all of a sudden, looking at him with wide eyes. Her hand covered her mouth in shock as she touched his neck and chest, covered in red marks and love bites.

“W-What… this is crazy.. What are you going to tell the kids? How are you going to cover this up?”

He laughed a little before thinking for a minute. “I guess I’ll just wear my old hero suit. It has a pretty high collar.”

She was about to protest, worried that he didn’t realize the full extent of where the marks were, when there was a soft knock at the door. The nurse timidly called out, “Mr. Todoroki, visiting hours are over.”

“He’s coming!” Rei panicked as she started to button his shirt, wondering if they would just barge in while she was pantless.

He smiled at the tone in her voice when she called out, it was assertive but a bit alarmed, he found it cute. It made him want to be with her more, but he knew it was time to go.

“I wish I could stay longer.” He sighed.

Standing up, she guided him off the bed with her and zipped up his pants, buckling his belt while he dragged his feet trying to stall. She couldn’t help but smile at his childish bid for time.

“Come back soon.” She wrapped her arms around him far as they would go as he grumbled reluctantly.

Pulling her pants on after buttoning her own shirt, she grabbed the sheets off the bed before walking him to the door.

As he followed her, the thought of what had happened on those sheets made his face heat up a little but he kept his expression steady.

Placing a kiss on her head, he squeezed her hand. “I’ll see you soon then.” He smiled, taking one last look at her.

Her cheeks were glowing, and her eyes sparkled with a new hope.