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No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't pull himself together. To be precise, it all started just recently when their band started giving more concerts and spending more time together.
As soon as the band became popular, they got their first invitations to concerts or private performances. Of course, this was good because they could finally earn a living from their hobbies but if they were told that it was as exhausting and difficult as a real full-time job they would think a few more times before taking the opportunity.
This spring day turned out really tough. First, Jakob's father asked the guys to stop by and help fix his car, and then, when they got exhausted, it was time to go to a planned concert in their small town where they’ve been invited over a month ago.
But Kevin had only one question in mind: what does he do when he sees that notorious blonde on stage again? Maybe he was ready to admit that he had been feeling lonely lately because of the lack of a love life but at the same time he tried to deny himself that on stage he was ready to merge with his role as "old Fabbo". At the end of the day he can't hold back his smile every time he sees this lady in red. He just wants to take her in his strong arms and never let her go back to the dressing room where all the masks fly off and only the face of his old friend remains from the role of a sweet girl.
***
The concert hall was already bustling with noise. The organizers were preparing for KAJ's performance resolving the last important issues. In the meantime, Axel was sitting on a chair in the dressing room pulling on dark nylon tights with his fingers, trying his best to cope with such difficult task and trying not to leave tears on the thin fabric. Today, as in most of their plays, he will have to play the female role. Over the years this has become a little tradition in their group as the other two collectively agreed that wigs and dresses would look more funny on him. Therefore he should try to make himself look presentable today.
The creak of the ajar door caught him off guard. Kevin came in from the lobby with a paper cup of coffee in his hands all ready to shine on scene and sat down right on the couch with costumes for performances right behind the vanity table. The warm light from the bulbs on the mirror enveloped the room and gently fell on the sharp features of their faces. Taller man looked wearily in the cup in his hand and took a small sip. The drink pleasantly warmed his throat up. He didn't really like coffee, but after a long day as his eyes were nearly closing, it turned out to be almost necessary.
“Struggling with the deal?” Kevin asked without a malice in his voice watching as his friend struggled with the unyielding clothes.
"Huh, it's okay. You'd better help than just stare at me.” Axel answered him smilingly with a slight irritation in his voice. Over the years of friendship they had learned to read the intonation of each other's like an open book and therefore weren’t offended at silly jokes.
“I'm sorry. You know it's been such a difficult day,” said taller man leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “How much time do we have left before the performance?”
“About thirty minutes.” Axel replied while picking up shiny dark shadows and applying them to his eyelids as carefully as he could without any experience in makeup. “At least until Jakob finds all the papers in the car and sorts out our pay for tonight.”
“Did you really send him to handle the payment?”
“Hey-hey, come on, I already thought we'd be late because of the traffic jams. Besides, he doesn't need to put on a skirt and tights!” he interrupted his friend .
“Whatever...” he muttered to himself and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He wanted to fall into a slumber. When he closed his eyes, he imagined him returning home and... no, he couldn't allow that now. The performance was very soon, he didn’t want to let the audience down but after a long day he couldn’t concentrate enough to get into the character.
Meanwhile, Axel picked up a blond wig that was lying next to him on a black lacquered table with his broad hands and began to carefully untangle it.
“You’re all pale-white. Are you sure you can perform tonight?” the shorter man asked his friend, who was leaning his face on his palm.
“Yes, I think so, it's just...” he hesitated to answer a little. “You know, everyone has these moments when they don't want to do anything and are absolutely not in the mood.”
“Just one scene, Kevin-“
“I know. I just can't concentrate...”
Axel twirled the strands of his wig thoughtfully between his fingers. He didn't want to put pressure on and wanted to give him a chance to catch his breath. With a deep sigh, suddenly, he came up with a small idea.
“Do you want to practice a little bit?”
“What?” Kevin raised his eyes to his friend, who was preening for tonight. His hands slid over the sharp corners of his face, brushing against his own dark hair.
“You know, imagine music playing in a stuffy club, people having fun, and saying what old man Fabbo might say,” Axel said while straightening his hair. He slowly put on a wig, turned to his bandmate and spoke as if in someone else's voice with a twinkle in his eyes:
“Besides, we have some more time, don’t we?”
With that sweet spoken phrase, a forgotten burning feeling flared up in Kevin's chest again. He once again couldn't believe his eyes. With such an ease his best friend, his intelligent modest male friend turns into both sweet and wicked woman.
He fixed his gaze forward. Her long hair hid her broad shoulders and her skirt and tights tantalizingly hugged her legs. She usually goes out in high heels but today she was wearing simple flat shoes. So mesmerizing. So perfect for his dear Daisy.
“Listen up,” he started with his male voice. “This is the last assignment for today, and then we can go home. Let's just do it and call it a day.” he said and held out his hand.
Kevin paused, but only for a second. His throat was dry. His head was no longer spinning with fatigue, but with a certain anticipation of a wonderful moment. He wanted to close his eyes and run away from himself, just not to give answers, but he couldn't escape his work responsibilities. The air thickened in the small room, smells pressing on his head. The question could not remain unanswered.
“Yes, okay, let's try ...” he gave his consent and held out his hand in response to be helped up. Axel's expression softened again.
“Oh, how great, my darling,” Daisy began playfully. “It’s not necessary to stare in such a strange look around a cutest girl, or do you yearn to offer me a drink?”
The sudden change of mood caught him off guard. If he'd had a minute more, he would have gathered his thoughts, but for now it was worth improvising. The taller man deliberately ran a strand through his hair and straightened his bow tie.
“Ahem... a pretty girl, all alone… I mean, don't you lonely standing here all by yourself?”
“Oh, and do you think you can keep me company this evening?”
“Only if you don't mind, young lady,” Kevin said theatrically and lightly touched his fingers to the others man palm. “Life is a funny thing, isn’t it? Why not take a moment and feel the music? Why don't we just... dance?” the gentleman asked and abruptly extended his hand to the beautiful lady. Of course, he didn't think about how they would dance in complete silence but they had to act decisively and confidently. Daisy looked at him and said with a sly smile:
“Well, only if you know the moves!”
***
Sometimes all he wanted to do is stop time so all that remained like that, so it would not slip out of hands like a wild beautiful bird. They didn't need music when melodies seemed to be radiating from their hearts. Step by step, they playfully danced to non-existent music. The cunning grin sparkled on Daisy's face as she gripped her dancing partner's tie and tugged him closer to her.
It was moments like this that confused Kevin, when they performed as a team on a lit up stage. To the loud applause of the audience they relaxed forgetting about all the problems and immersing themselves in the dance. But a second has passed and she already appears on the scene. She hugs, clings and teases the main character and doesn't mind taking advantage of his desires. But she is no longer deceiving the hero, but the actor playing him, leading into the strongest delusion and a simple delight.
“If only it would last forever...” Kevin thought to himself bending his arm and embracing his partner as close as it was possible. He could smell the lingering scent of her cologne coming from her — not a typical feminine fragrance but he didn't care anymore. He was completely immersed in the moment and the memories. Every touch, every careless word, every day spent together flashed before the eyes.…
“You're so old, yet so nice, sir,” Daisy said in a thin voice snuggling against her partner's chest. She rested her head on his shoulder while her hand traced indistinct patterns on Fabbo's white shirt.
“It's all just for you,” Kevin replied. The girl moved away from him a little to look at him with her beautiful blue eyes. As their gazes crossed, they couldn't get enough of each other.
The man's throat gone dry once more. There were drops of sweat on his forehead. Right now his dream is as close to him as it had never been before. With one hand he instinctively grabbed the woman’s waist and with the other he ran through her disheveled bangs and tucked a fallen blond curl behind the lady's ear. A question and some bewilderment immediately appeared in her eyes.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. It's just to see your beautiful face,” Kevin replied, and began slowly stroking his partner's cheek lightly touching her skin, as if trying to see how far he would be allowed to go. Axel furrowed his brows a little and with a certain tremor in his voice asked in his usual voice:
“Kevin? What are you talking about-“
"You're shaking all over.” Kevin says softly. His hands were also shaking and moving of their own accord trying to wrap around his friend's face. His smile was extremely nervous and his gaze darted around the room. He took one last look into the blue azure eyes of person in front of him before closing his own and doing something he would definitely regret.
It’s now or never.
He leans forward and briefly kisses Axel right on his lips. The last one's face began to fill with bewilderment but he couldn’t say a word. His warm breath embraced Kevin's face who was still holding his face in his hands and was only a couple of centimeters away from him.
When taller man felt no resistance, he covered the other’s lips with his own again, this time more gently and firmly. He gently bit his lower lip which caused a slight whimper from his friend. He ran his fingers down the back of his neck and lifted his long hair to stroke his sensitive skin. This instantly sent a wave of goosebumps down Axel’s back.
Only when Kevin runs his tongue over his partner's wet lips, opening them like a young blooming bud, Axel abruptly grabs the tall man by the face and pushes him away.
Both of them were standing facing each other with wide-open eyes, disheveled hairstyles and trying to catch their breath after their sudden kiss. The music playing in their heads abruptly turned off. The air was still heavy in the dressing room, the noise was still behind the door, but something has shifted. Something inside them.
Kevin no longer felt tired. The adrenaline from the realization of the event hit him straight in the head. A chill ran through his body as he nearly spaced out. Wiping away the remaining saliva on his mouth, he grabbed himself by the shoulder and began to speak:
“No... no, no, no, damn… Sorry, sorry! I-I just don't know what was that about me, I didn't mean it.”
Despite the warm feelings that arose in him, he absolutely did not want to ruin their friendship they built all these years because of some stupid incident. Kevin kept taking like a bad child would for their bad behavior, but his endless stream of emotions was interrupted by quiet laughter.
“Well, it turns out you're ready to perform now," Axel said with a big grin on his face and burst out laughing again.”
“Ah... so you're not mad about that?”
“Mad about what? Little miscommunication?” he replied when turned to the mirror and began fixing his wig. “You know, you just really surprised me with that kiss. You've given in to Fabbo's emotions so much, you've finally got into the character.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Hey, it's okay, no need to apologize,” Axel said. He went up to his friend and patted him on the shoulder. “Especially now. We have no time for that. If you want, we can talk about it after the performance, but now we have to go hurry up Mr. storyteller-of-this-whole-damned-story Norrgård.”
“Wait, will you go like this?”
“Yes, why? Do I not look pretty?” Axel teased his friend so much that he got a lump in his throat and his face turned red once again. With a loud laugh, he headed for the door and prepared to leave, before stopping in the aisle and saying one last thing.
“And yes, if you're interested, I'm not going to tell Jakob about this. Let this be our little secret, okay?” he said and left the room, leaving Kevin alone with his thoughts.
And the man in the rumpled white shirt and tousled hair just stood there and silently watched him go. What was that? What's gotten into him? The answer was on the surface, but he refused to accept it anyway. Instead he just ran his index finger over his lips and tried to remember that strange but so pleasant moment of intimacy. But what he knew for sure was that he had no regrets.
***
Bright strobe lights illuminated small concert hall that was shimmering with all the colors of the rainbow. People of all ages were clapping their hands or cheerfully raising them up in the air.
While Jakob sang another line from the song Kevin gave his all on stage, dancing to the funky beats. He closed his eyes for a second when he felt a sharp pull on his tie and a kiss on the corner of his lips. He opens his eyes abruptly — Axel, no… Daisy stands in front of him, grinning.
All these times, there were only gentle touches it never was kissing. But who the hell cares if everything that happens on stage remains on stage only?
After all it was just a little play.
Right?…