Work Text:
The first thing Zhang Hao did after moving into his new apartment was break the sink.
It wasn’t as if he meant to, obviously, it just… happened. The reasoning? He tried to shove 38 Uno cards down the pipes while versing Ricky in an intense battle. While his opponent was distracted, Hao flipped on the garbage disposal, only to listen to the symphony of destruction as he screamed his head off.
“You thought I wasn’t going to notice all of this?” Ricky crossed his arms, glaring at the sad mush of crushed-up cards currently wrecking havoc on his new drain.
“This is my third time doing it. You didn’t notice any of those other times.” Hao countered. Cheating against Ricky wasn’t all that difficult, honestly. He once won a game of poker by telling him to ‘look out the window, there’s an apocalypse,’ while he stole all the remaining chips.
“?”
So, to solve the whole sink problem, he called the trusty apartment plumber. And Aristotle from Heaven showed up instead.
“Hi, I’m Sung Hanbin. I’m here to fix the sink?”
Hao wasn’t lying one bit. He gasped when Plumber Sung Hanbin walked in with a kind face, tired eyes, and a cute little get-up, looking so damn eager to fix the sink. Not only was Hanbin overly friendly—at least, for the most part—and damn efficient, he was also… beautiful? He wasted no time before setting his little tool kit on the floor, getting right to work.
“What was the issue?” Hanbin tapped his chin as the low hum of the sink still went strong. Hao didn’t know how someone could be so intrigued by pipes.
“Uh, nothing. It just stopped working,” Hao confessed. Ricky nudged him, likely planning to lecture him about how it was illegal to lie to an apartment plumber, but Hao already had a plan in mind. That, and he was a bit ashamed to admit the reason they were in this mess in the first place.
Hanbin raised an eyebrow, “Nothing? Nothing caused this paper buildup in the garbage disposal?”
“Yep! Good job following.”
Hao made a mental note to clog that sink more often.
-
Tenant Hao: hey thanks for unclogging my sink
Plumber Hanbin: You should not have my number but you’re welcome.
Tenant Hao: im sorry
Tenant Hao: i just wanted it really badly so i asked the front desk D:
Plumber Hanbin: Alright.
Plumber Hanbin: I was just doing my job, but you’re welcome.
Tenant Hao: :D
-
There was a first for everything. And most of the time, there was also a second for everything.
Tenant Hao: hey my sink is clogged
Plumber Hanbin: ? I unclogged It yesterday
Tenant Hao: no it clogged again
Plumber Hanbin: How??
Tenant Hao: idk
Tenant Hao: maybe u did a bad job…
Plumber Hanbin: 🙂
-
“I did not do a bad job,” Hanbin sulked, face stuck in the sink, voice muffled by the pipes. “I genuinely don’t know how this happened.”
Hao conveniently left out the part where he accidentally tried to dump a bunch of buttons down the drain. He hadn’t bought a trash can yet. They had to go somewhere. “Hey, what’s that tool called?” Hao leaned in, nodding to the rubber on Hanbin’s arm, trying to strike up conversation.
Hanbin raised an eyebrow, “It’s a glove? On my hand?”
“Ah. A tool indeed.”
-
Tenant Hao: :3
Tenant Hao: hi
Plumber Hanbin: Hello?
Tenant Hao: i need help 😣
The third time, it was Hao’s hand that got stuck in the sink. Don’t ask how.
He was just looking for a few coins that had fallen down the drain. How did they fall down? A party! A big ass party! It’d been two nights in his new place, and he had to show it off to all twenty of his closest friends. Hao had stood on the counter, dancing the night away for hours on end. The coins just happened to fall down, and in an effort to not waste money, Hao reached down to grab them. Thinking that his hand would actually get stuck down there was the last thing on his mind.
So, he committed to the bit, waiting for all the partygoers to leave before calling for help. He lost count of how many times he’d said, ‘No, it’s fine, I meant to put my hand in the sink! It’s for a bit!’ And somehow, they all believed him.
Hanbin knocked on his door, but Hao couldn’t answer because, well, his hand was stuck in the sink.
“The passcode is 84115!”
After tapping in the code, Hanbin stood in his doorway, unimpressed.
Sheepishly grinning, Hao nodded to his hand, “Good to see you again! Some help, please?”
With a sigh, Hanbin opened his tool kit, “Alright, let me get the lube.”
“Huh—”
-
Hao realized the lube was for removing his hand from the sink. Not that other thing.
He awkwardly sat on the counter in some strange position while Hanbin was busy trying to dislodge his hand, applying a thick coating of lube around it as he slowly slid it out from the pipe.
“I still don’t understand how this is the third time something happened with this sink in three days,” Hanbin said, mumbling to himself.
The small talk was appreciated, of course, but Hao couldn’t help but bask in how awkward the whole interaction was. That was a first, even for him. Normally, he wouldn’t care about embarrassing himself, but something in him wanted to keep it cool around Hanbin, while also keeping himself… around Hanbin. There had to be a fine line, somewhere in there, “Wow. I’m on a roll, aren’t I?”
Then, Hanbin looked at him with the most puppy-dog eyes ever, “I unclog your sink, yet I don’t even get a party invite?”
“I don’t remember… telling you about the party?”
-
Tenant Hao: hiii
Plumber Hanbin: You better not say what I think you’re going to say
Tenant Hao: no no i’m just
Tenant Hao: uhh
Tenant Hao: asking for a friend
Tenant Hao: how do u unclog a sink
Plumber Hanbin: You motherfucker.
-
“I’m not coming over again,” Hanbin said, after coming over, yet again.
Hao pouted, “But you look so cute in that hat.”
“I’m not wearing a hat.”
“You could be?” Hao posed. He had a dream about Hanbin that night, and he was wearing a cute little hat that said I heart plumbers. Hanbin got them matching hats, and they galloped into the sunset together. That was a desired reality. Maybe somewhere in the near future, as Hao often found that his dreams came true.
-
Tenant Hao: MY TOILET IS FLOODING ??
Tenant Hao: WHATTTTT
Tenant Hao: I NEED A PLUMBER TO HELP ME RIGHT NOW ?
Plumber Hanbin: Listen. This is fun and all, but if you wanted to hang out with me, you really could just ask.
Tenant Hao: no like. my toilet is flooding my apartment.
Tenant Hao: im being deadass
Plumber Hanbin: Ohhhmy godddd
-
That one wasn’t even a lie. Nor was it intentional. Sure, some of the other problems could have been avoided or done on purpose, but an evil toilet coming back for revenge wasn’t on his list for the day. It was barely seven in the morning!
Hao stood in shock as he hid behind the shower curtain, unable to take a look as he couldn’t bear to watch the fresh tiles soil with water damage.
In three minutes time, Hanbin showed up looking like a guardian angle. Hao had never been happier to see such a glorious figure. A halo formed around his essence, illuminating the room.
“Hi ♥️” Hao smiled with a small wave.
“Hello. Good to see you.”
-
Tenant Hao: help me
Tenant Hao: helelppp
Tenant Hao: ive been hackkked
Tenant Hao: Hello. This is Evil Hao.
Tenant Hao: Muahahhahahaha
Tenant Hao: Evil Hao has a concern.
Tenant Hao: MUahaha
Tenant Hao: My sink is Ahh! Broken!
Tenant Hao: You must come
Plumber Hanbin: ?
Plumber Hanbin: Come over to fix it?
Tenant Hao: No!
-
The toilet might not have been his fault, but the fourth time his sink was broken was certainly a manufacturing error. Or, maybe Hanbin was just horrible at fixing sinks. Hao would do an investigation on why, if he wasn’t so drawn to Hanbin’s aura. Something about an extremely handsome man trying to remain nonchalant in his presence, hiding behind his cute little job as a plumber, made Hao want to hold him tight and never let go.
“What seems to be the issue today?” Hanbin crouched down in front of the sink.
Hao pursed his lips, “I’m just feeling a little tired these days, you know? Adjusting to work, getting familiar with my surroundings, stuff like that.”
“I meant with the sink.”
-
Tenant Hao: fifth times the charm
Plumber Hanbin: What now??
Tenant Hao: my tv isnt working
Plumber Hanbin: I am a plumber
Tenant Hao: and Im fucking lady gaaga I DONT CAREEEE
Tenant Hao: ITS NOT WORIKGINGGDJKFHD
Tenant Hao: KDSFKJKSDFSD
Tenant Hao: DJFNADFIJEOSNMF
Tenant Hao: DKJFASKDNFJSEIFNE
-
“Thank you. I had no idea the remote was just hidden under the couch.” Hao said. He might have been a bit dramatic on the phone earlier, but that was only because he was possibly missing the MasterChef premiere. And he wanted Hanbin to come over, even if there wasn’t a dire plumbing emergency.
Hanbin let out a deep sigh. “I think you did, considering you directed me over to the couch the second I stepped in here.”
“You don’t know me.”
-
Plumber Hanbin: If we get to you texting me to come over 10 times in one week I’m going to start to question you
Tenant Hao: BRO
Tenant Hao: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTIHNG
Tenant Hao: THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION /
Plumber Hanbin: Okay. My bad.
Tenant Hao: yo nvm the shower water is blue
-
Hao wasn’t quite sure how that was possible, either. He was simply standing in the middle of the shower, enjoying his evening, until he realized that cartoonish blue water was coming from the faucet.
Of course, Hanbin was there within a few minutes, sporting his usual get-up with the addition of a black hat. Good. He accepted Hao’s costume change.
On the other hand, Hao was still half-naked, deciding to just loosely wrap a towel around his bare torso. He still had the intent to finish his shower, just a matter of when.
As Hanbin navigated the technology, Hao looked down at the now-stained blue tile, “Did a Smurf die in here?”
“No. You just bought an Apple Shower, and there’s currently a boycott. All technology is glitching at the moment.”
“Oh. Am I getting canceled?”
Hanbin sighed, shaking his head, “Not yet, but you should call an electrician next time. As a plumber, I can’t really help with this.”
Hao pondered on that, deciding to go for it. He’d contact the apartment’s electrician. Who knew? Maybe every maintenance guy was as cute as Hanbin was.
-
Tenant Hao: hey, im having issues with my shower.
Tenant Hao: a dashing young man referred me to you and said you could help me with it.
Electrician Hanbin: What’s wrong with it?
Tenant Hao: YOU AGAIN ??
Electrician Hanbin: Hi
Tenant Hao: why do they make you do plumbing and electrician??
Electrician Hanbin: Budget cuts.
-
Very dramatically, Hanbin walked back in ten minutes later, wearing a different jacket and carrying a new set of tools. “So,” He put his hand on his hip, looking around the bathroom, “What seems to be the problem with this here shower?”
“Funny…”
-
Tenant Hao: is seven a symbolic number??
Plumber Hanbin: What is it this time
Tenant Hao: nothin im jus lonely :/
Plumber Hanbin: Ok I’m on my way.
-
Perched on the couch, Hao leaned back against the cushions, sipping a light margarita. Before Hanbin’s visit, he looked up some simple drink recipes so they could enjoy their time together. It was a day to celebrate, as there’d been no extensive or unrealistic plumbing issue that would alter the course of his day. Hao was starting to understand why his monthly rent was no more than a corn chip and some monopoly money. At least, that was one thing he hadn’t tried to shove down the sink. Yet.
“Do you like strawberries, Hanbin?” Hao asked. He realized it had been many days since they’d started meeting, and he didn’t know the first thing about Hanbin. Why was he a plumber? Where did he live? Was he even single, or was Hao just throwing his life out the window, playing the long game with a taken man?
“No,” Hanbin stated, before taking a sip of a strawberry margarita.
“Then, why…”
“You made it for me, so I’ll drink it.”
Hao put a hand on his heart, melting at the simplicity of his words, “You know how to be romantic, don’t you?”
“Yes. That’s why they call me… the plumber.” Hanbin said, slightly smirking.
Hao blinked. “Oh.”
Yeah, Hanbin was single.
-
Tenant Hao: i found an ant :/
Plumber Hanbin: I’m outside your door
Tenant Hao: ur what?
Plumber Hanbin: Look outside
Tenant Hao: ?? howd tf you get here so fast?
-
Indeed, Hao looked out the peephole and was greeted with Hanbin standing in the hallway, decked in his casual clothing. He pulled the door open, furrowing his eyebrows, “What the hell?”
“Hi.” Hanbin smiled, waving. “I had a feeling you would call.”
“Why ?”
“Because. I get feelings sometimes.” Hanbin said, shrugging.
“You get feelings?” Hao blinked back.
“Yeah. It’s been six hours and twelve minutes since you last texted. According to our past messages,” Hanbin started typing on his phone, before pulling out a full spreadsheet, highlighting every one of their interactions, “You’d be texting me any minute now. I guess I was right.”
Hao stood in awe for a moment, wondering if Hanbin made a spreadsheet of interactions for every client he had, before deciding that it didn’t really matter. Hao was doing the same thing in his mind.
“Alright. The ant is in my bedroom, want to take a look?”
-
Tenant Hao: hello this is jaehyun from nct CHECK THE FACTS GO CHECK THAT please wire me 10,000 won and i will perform for free in your living room!!
SUNG HANBIN has wired over 1,000,000 won!
Tenant Hao: oh what the hell
-
Hao was a man of his word. Hao took a deep breath, entering Hanbin’s living room before putting on the best damn performance of Fact Check this world has ever seen.
As he finished, Hanbin clapped, and Hao left his apartment with a small bow. They didn’t exchange any words, but Hao did give him a finger heart, deciding that would build the fan experience.
-
After another few hours without Hanbin, Hao started to question why they even bothered leaving each other in the first place. Maybe it would be easier if they just… stayed together all the time, living and operating in the same space. If Hao was constantly breaking things, it would be nice to have someone there to always fix it. It really seemed like Hanbin got joy out of helping him as well.
Tenant Hao: say. I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Tenant Hao: hanbin, do you want to hang out again?
Tenant Hao: no broken toilets, no broken sinks, just you and me. alone :)
Plumber Hanbin: i have Feeettt
Plumber Hanbin: Mbab
Plumber Hanbin: HAHHAss385h
Plumber Hanbin: hah
Plumber Hanbin: HF FEEwwT
Plumber Hanbin: FFFETT
Plumber Hanbin: hannbidd haas s FEEET
Tenant Hao: erm,,,,
Tenant Hao: 😬
-
Hao returned to Hanbin’s apartment, able to break in simply because Hanbin’s passcode was actually just 84115 as well. Some coincidence.
Once inside, Hao dragged a drunk Hanbin off the toilet, pulling him through his house while Hanbin muttered gibberish, “I wish… I was a cat…”
“Oh!” Hao wasn’t prepared for Hanbin to start meowing, but he did. Hao stood him up in front of the bed, leaned him over onto the cushions, and then gently pushed his body down onto the mattress.
Looking up to the ceiling, Hanbin giggled, “You’re so cute.”
Hao chuckled, leaning forward to brush the hair from his eyes, “You think?”
Hanbin slowly nodded, hazy eyes gazing over Hao, “Yes, I think…”
Minutes later, he was asleep, as Hao observed him for a few moments after. The way his hair fell on his forehead, and how his rosy cheeks complimented the serenity in his features, made Hanbin such a sight for sore eyes. Beautiful. He should be on the stages in those model shows, not fixing pipes every night.
Leaning in, Hao let out a shriek as he noticed Hanbin’s eyes pop open. “Er… good morning?”
“Please… don’t break any more sinks until I’m sober…”
“You dream about plumbing when you’re asleep?” Hmm. Maybe Hanbin’s career was just one big passion project?
“No,” Hanbin shook his head, “Not plumbing. I dream about you.”
Oh wow. Hao felt his heart leap, cupping a hand around Hanbin’s hot cheeks, “I won’t break any sinks, don’t worry.”
“Are you leaving?” Hanbin asked, eyebrows furrowing.
“Do you want me to?”
“No.”
Hao smiled, “Then I’ll stay.”
-
Plumber Hanbin: Thanks for taking care of me while drunk
Plumber Hanbin: You were very kind
Tenant Hao: yeah ofc
Tenant Hao: whyd you drink?
Plumber Hanbin: Jaehyun enlistment
Tenant Hao: oh 🙁
Tenant Hao: im sorry 3
Tenant Hao: but u were very cute too so
Tenant Hao: no problem :)
Plumber Hanbin: Text me again when you want to Hang out
Tenant Hao: ooh okay
Tenant Hao: ill ‘hang out’ with you soon then, hanbin
Tenant Hao: 😣
Plumber Hanbin: Yeah
Plumber Hanbin: 😉
Plumber Hanbin: 😇
Tenant Hao: cutie
-
After two days of no texts—Hao had gotten wrapped up with work, forgetting he had a job that wasn’t just pining after Hanbin and breaking sinks—he finally had a reason to text him again.
Tenant Hao: hanbin the dam is broken
Tenant Hao: i need you so badly right now
Plumber Hanbin: Oh? It finally broke? Hah.
Plumber Hanbin: I could tell ;)
Tenant Hao: please come up here, i need help
Plumber Hanbin: Hah sure.
Plumber Hanbin: What do you need help with ?
Plumber Hanbin: Go ahead, describe it to me :)
Tenant Hao: HELP ITS GETTING WORSE
Tenant Hao: ITS LEAKINGGG
Plumber Hanbin: Its leaking ? 😉
Tenant Hao: YES
Tenant Hao: LEAKING EVERYWHERE
Tenant Hao: HELP ME HANBIN I NEED YOU SO BAD
Plumber Hanbin: You need me? To help with your leaking? Hah.
Plumber Hanbin: What position are you in right now?
Tenant Hao: UHH IM ON THE COUNTER SCREAMING
Plumber Hanbin: Screaming, for me?
Tenant Hao: YES IM SCREAMING YOUR NAME
Plumber Hanbin: Ohhh, sexy. I bet you wish I was there
Tenant Hao: I DO I REALLY DO.
Plumber Hanbin: Haha. Cute
Plumber Hanbin: Alright I’ll come on up and help you…fix your pipes 😰
-
“I’m sorry, I really did not think you were talking about an actual leak.” Hanbin stood at the doorway, sheepishly staring at the growing puddle of water spilling onto the ground.
“Please put your pants back on.” Hao blinked, sitting on the counter as his faucet continued to pour water all over his carpet. Don’t get him wrong, Hao wouldn’t mind seeing Hanbin pant-less (and the image of him running down the hallway half-naked was a special one) but there was a time and place for everything.
Once they dealt with that leak, they could explore… other leaks ?
-
“Why don’t you just move in for good?” Hanbin proposed.
Hao had barely set his suitcase down in Hanbin’s guest room before that question was brought up. He turned around, raising an eyebrow, before shrugging, “Alright. Works for me.”
See, once the leak caused his apartment to flood— as Hanbin was too busy sexting with him to get his ass over and fix the pipe—Hao had to move out while the professionals dealt with the water damage. Hanbin, being the nice and kind gentleman that he was, offered to let Hao stay with him for the time being.
Though Hao mourned the loss of the apartment he’d lived in for one week—yes, that all happened in one week—he wasn’t attached enough to truly give a shit. Being with Hanbin all day every day sounded like the better outcome.
“Good choice. Make yourself at home,” Hanbin smiled, motioning to the living room. “And don’t worry about rent. I was the reason your apartment drowned, so I should make it up to you.”
Hmm. He did like that idea. Hao let out a sigh, placing a hand on Hanbin’s shoulder, “I do miss having a roommate, so this is good. Sometimes I get lonely alone.”
“Is that all I am to you? A roommate?”
Hao raised an eyebrow, “You haven’t seen what I do with my roommates yet.”
Hanbin’s cheeks flushed as his eyes grew wide, “I... Yes. Yes, you’re right. Uh… Show me, then?”
-
Zhang Hao: game night canceled.
Zhang Hao: im busy fucking da plumber
Zhang Hao: ;3
Shen Ricky: BROOOOOO
Shen Ricky: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Shen Ricky: WHAT ABOUT UNOOO