Chapter Text
“There’s just something about the way he speaks about her, even when she is not near, that causes a strain on my heart-” A young Kate exclaims while depositing the novel back onto the shelf, “I fear this one will not be bested by another.”
Her even younger sister turns in her chair and lifts herself up onto her knees, arms resting atop the back, “You said that about the last one as well, Didi.”
Kate laughs, chest inflating blissfully, and spins to look out the window, “Then you must get used to me saying it… As I believe my taste in novelization will only get better with age.”
The trees sway graciously, allowing a serene privacy from the sun. A contented feeling creeps over our young Heroine as a few faint rays puncture the canopy here and there.
Edwina sighs and lays her head on her arms, “I wish to have what the people in all of your books have one day… In real life.”
Kate blinks at the dancing branches for a moment, eyes flickering this way and that, before reassuringly and confidently responding, “Of course you will, Bon. I shall not allow otherwise.”
The younger Sharma sister smiles softly, eyes glazing over as the room and her sister fade out of focus.
With a soft and precise smile, Kate takes a deep breath and steps back from the window.
♡ ♡ ♡
There is something deeply satisfying at being so close to one's goals and all that you have been working towards. Of being so close to seeing someone you love so dearly be so happy. Of fulfilling one’s hopes and dreams so ardently that there seems to not be any other reasons for being .
There is also something entirely bittersweet in realizing you won’t have it any longer. Of not having something to dedicate time and thought towards, day in and day out. Of not having a clear purpose.
There is something downright frightening about the entire endeavor.
Kate does not sleep once they make it to Mayfair, the lavish room with its thick blankets and accompanying quiet do little to quell her thoughts. So when the morning comes, she hightails it to the stables and rides.
She rides within the woods, still very much aware of her place and their rules for a woman like her. She avoids trails and the distant sounds of carriages, courteous conversations, and galloping hooves. Eventually this leads her to a park, with both trees for cover and fields for gallant racing.
Her horse picks up pace at her command and the wind provides a chilling reprieve from her mind. So much so that she does not realize it as she rushes past a gentleman on his own horse…
“Woah there!”
And an enticing acquaintanceship is born, right there in the middle of Hyde park.
♡ ♡ ♡
“I know that gentleman,” A whispery tone escapes Kate’s lips later that week at the Danbury Ball.
Edwina looks around excitedly, “Who?”
Lady Danbury raises a brow, “The Viscount? I do not believe I have yet made an introduction...”
“Of course, it must be my mistake,” She notices the flock of eligible young ladies surrounding him and finds his response to the situation totally lacking preparation. The corner of her mouth involuntarily turns up in reaction.
The family keep their attention on the man in question, as Lady Danbury speaks again, “Though you do have quite the eye… Viscount Bridgerton is wealthy, well-connected and from one of the ton 's most illustrious families. Apparently hoping to marry this season, he may very well be our most eligible bachelor indeed…”
“He is very handsome,” The youngest admires.
Kate cannot look away from the gentleman, “Yes… I suppose he is.”
Lady Danbury notices Kate’s lingering eye, though she is distracted by a possible suitor for Ms. Edwina, “Mr. Corning!”
♡ ♡ ♡
It’s much later in the night. Edwina has lived on the dance floor throughout most of it- currently enjoying a reprieve and a beverage with one of the many gentlemen vying for her attention. Lady Sharma and Lady Danbury are enjoying their own conversation at the edge of the ballroom. And Kate- well Kate is strolling through the crowds and keeping an eye on the Viscount out on the dance floor.
He has been out there most of the evening as well, though it does not seem to be the music nor the exertion itself that sours him to leave each and every young lady alone. Whether their conversation is lacking or their feet too clumsy- it does not seem that he is enjoying his night. At almost each song’s conclusion he briskly bows before his partner and makes a hasty escape.
Kate finds his disgruntled looks and frustrated movements rather amusing.
As a large group of attendees rush past her, Kate is forced to the front of the crowd and right against the edge of the dance floor. She holds her skirts so that they do not get trampled as the group of men exit out a side door into the chilling night air. She appreciates the coolness flushing across her skin and thinks about finding her own way out.
“It’s you! I was wondering if we’d meet again,” A familiar, yet breathless, voice speaks from her other side, causing her head to crane away from the door and towards what turns out to be her racing partner from earlier that week.
She cannot stop the faintest hints of a smirk from teasing her features, “Ah, yes... You. It seems you are the one in need of saving tonight.”
The Viscount laughs, his cheeks plumping as his smile widens, “Was my disinterest so utterly on display?”
“It was hard to miss, my Lord,” Their smirks start to match, in mirth and within challenge.
His torso inches closer, “So you’ve been watching me all night- and never thought to save me?”
“You are a gentleman- if you are caught riding astride at parks at dawn, no one bats an eye. Surely you can save yourself from the horrors of high society,” She holds her hands firmly together and purses her lips in delight.
“And if I would have preferred your interruption?” His head tilts, eyes lighting up.
Kate’s smile turns lopsided, her eyes darting to a place on the far wall, “Then it is abundantly clear that we are not acquainted, sir. As anyone who knows me knows that I will not be venturing out to the floor tonight.”
His smile falters, “Ah… alas that was to be my next line of questioning. To find a way to take your hand and lead you out there.”
Kate lets their gazes catch once again, “Then I would have said no, my Lord. Good thing you found out now, before such an embarrassment.”
“I-”
“-Lord Bridgerton,” Lady Danbury saunters up to them, Mary and Edwina in tow, with her eyebrows raised and her spine poised, “I do not believe I have introduced you to Ms. Sharma and yet here you are, already at her mercy.”
“Lady Danbury, it is lovely to see you,” His demeanor shifts- back straightening, eyebrows setting, the space between himself and Kate becoming a moat. He transforms into someone else- someone more rigid and, surely, less carefree. A change that Kate is utterly aware of in her own posture and expression, causing her to instantly see an ally in this man.
“Then allow me to introduce you to Lady Mary Sharma, Ms. Sharma, and Ms. Edwina Sharma. They are my esteemed guests this season, so please keep yourself in their good graces.”
He shoots her a pained smile before turning to Kate’s family, “It is lovely to make your acquaintance.”
“You as well, Lord Bridgerton,” Edwina bows her head slightly and looks back up at him at a measured pace. Precisely how they practiced it. Kate swells with pride, but almost instantly something else she can’t quite place overtakes it. Something bitter bubbling up her throat.
Anthony’s attention is already locked back onto Kate by the time she catches up, his face loosening just slightly back into the playful expression he greeted her with, “I was just asking Ms. Sharma for a dance before you arrived.”
“Oh, really?” Lady Danbury adjusts her cane into the other hand and allows her head to follow suit, turning her indignation from the Viscount to Kate, “I believe she would have to say yes.”
“No- I’m afraid she has already turned me down, Lady Danbury, quite unfortunately.”
“Ms. Sharma- you know you cannot-”
Kate interjects, “Lord Bridgerton was just about to accompany me to the refreshments table, as I am starting to feel the heat of the room,” She shoots Anthony a knowing look before switching to a determined one for Lady Danbury, then softening for Edwina, “You must take to the floor in my stead, Bon.”
Edwina’s face lights up and she lifts her dance card, “Yes, I believe one of these fine gentlemen should be available.”
Kate squeezes her hand before leading the way to the tables along the back wall, Anthony shooting the other ladies a charming smile before strolling behind her. She parts the crowd, as he stays a step behind. Admitting himself the moment to admire the way the candlelight sparkles off of the jewels on her gown. The way her earrings sway with the pace she has set. The way a loose curl tickles at the curve of her neck.
She stops and finds herself a glass of champagne, taking a sip before realizing he has stopped just next to her, “Oh, my apologies- here.”
Anthony accepts a glass and raises it towards her, “To our remarkable deception.”
Kate lets out a breathy laugh before clinking their glasses together, “I thank you, sir, for following along and accompanying me over here. Though, I no longer require your presence. You may return to the endless list of young ladies you’ve sworn a dance to tonight.”
“I’m not sure I could steal myself away from your presence to make good on those promises… I’d much rather stand in this corner and converse with you, Ms. Sharma,” His head bows slightly as he says her name.
She drinks down the rest of her glass before taking in the ballroom around them, “I believe you are starting to get the wrong impression about our acquaintance, my Lord.”
It seems he cannot stop himself from stepping closer, “And how is that?”
She slowly turns to meet his unyielding eyes- they take a moment to study one another at this precipice of conversation and relation, before she sends him a sad smile, “I am not on the wedding mart this season, or any future season, sir. Your charming wit is going to waste.”
“So you are not looking for a husband?”
Her head nods, feeling as though it is happening in slow motion.
“And yet you find me to have a charming wit?” His eyes light up with the mirth of his questioning.
Kate tries not to smile, nor to laugh, though this causes a small giggle to escape instead and she must look away from his teasing face, “I am not looking for a husband, sir.”
“Then why have you entertained my advances thus far?”
She sits her empty glass back onto the table, “This has been you making advances? One indirect question of a dance and teasing? You believe this is the way to a woman’s heart?”
“I have been able to keep you by my side for quite a while, indeed, with such silly advances… So yes… I do believe I’m on the right course,” He certainly seems pleased with his response.
“I believe I must remove myself from the situation, so as to not further your delusions,” She is unable to remove the smile from her face, however, as she turns to leave.
Anthony’s hand snaps across the short distance, to grasp her gloved one, “If I shall not have a dance, nor a flirt, then please bless me with your unwavering wit instead.”
Her eyes zero in on their joined hands, her own subconsciously caressing back, “I do not wish to confuse you any longer.”
“I am far from confused, Ms. Sharma.”
Kate’s vision trails up from their joined hands, over the fabric covering his strong arms, and lands back at his face- determined as always, “I am here to help my sister to find a husband. I cannot do that with your distractions, Lord Bridgerton.”
“Ms.-”
“-Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
She slips her hand out of his and scurries away, into the crowd and as far away as one can find in a conservatory of this size.
♡ ♡ ♡
It’s not even a quarter of an hour later when our Heroine finds herself conveniently hidden behind a rather tall bush, with overstuffed flower arrangements adding evermore to her cover. And it is from this vantage point that she overhears the same gentleman from earlier greeting his brother in conversation. And she surely isn’t going to regret her indirect eavesdropping, right?
“Brother,” The Viscount claps Benedict on the shoulder before taking his place immediately to his right, “Have you kept yourself from our mother’s clutches thus far tonight?”
“Ah, yes. Eloise and I have deftly left mother dearest behind.”
“I wish I could say the same. Her meddling may have been a bit rash, however I am still fielding the bounty of said announcement.”
Benedict’s breath escapes into a soft laugh, “You did do this to yourself, brother. You could have just as easily waited to tell her of your intentions.”
“Perhaps.”
The younger of the two leans his shoulder into the others, “So? Have you found her yet?”
Anthony takes a moment to ponder his answer, before pushing back against Benedict's shoulder, “I certainly believe so, yes.”
“No!” Benedict exclaims, “You haven’t! You’ve met the woman who has met every damnable criteria on your list of demands? I do not believe it’s so- you’re generally far too unlucky for such a swift feat.”
With a reluctant smile, Anthony turns towards his brother- creating a confidential bubble to conduct their conversation within, “I cannot admit that I know that she ticks off each item, however she has an impeccable wit, a gentile manner, and a firm sense of familial responsibility. Surely there is not much else one could ask for?”
“Love? Obviously one must ask for love, on top of all the rest.”
The Viscount smiles indignantly, “Of course, Brother, you should look for it in every woman you meet, every painting you assess, and in every artwork you create from your own hands.”
“But not you?” Benedict’s voice becomes more serious, “I cannot sit by while you decide that you, of all people, should not one day find love.”
“And now you’re starting to sound like Mother,” Anthony takes half a step back.
The artist snorts, “One would think one’s own parentage to be of the wisest opinions.”
“While I do not disagree with you there, I must persist that when I wed- there will be no lingering fantasies or delusions of love involved,” Anthony speaks towards the crowded ballroom, avoiding the scrutiny in his brother's face, “I must marry to fulfill my duties as head of this family, so therefore I shall wed. And my future wife needs only to complete one duty herself-”
“Oh- Kate! There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you!” Edwina startles her elder sister half to death, causing Kate to lurch sideways into one of the many bouquets surrounding her. It takes both ladies to upturn the flowers and right her posture.
The Bridgerton brothers turn around at the commotion.
“Ms. Sharma-” Anthony starts to greet them, only to realize the flush to Kate’s face and the frazzlement of her body-language to mean only one thing, “Do you make it a habit to spy on conversations not involving, nor concerning, you?”
Edwina gasps.
Benedict hungrily studies the expressions on both Anthony and Kate’s faces.
Without second thought, Kate brashly responds, “It was hardly an effort, my Lord. Seeing as you and your brother decided to speak on such affairs in the middle of a ballroom, and with such volume at that.”
“Does one not inherently expect privacy when speaking candidly with one’s sibling? No matter the setting?”
The elder Sharma sister takes a deep breath in, her head starting the ascension of a nod, before settling with an all-knowing smile, “Well this does make your quest to flirt with me all the more destitute. Surely my eavesdropping will have removed some marks from my fitting into your ‘dutiful wife’ list. Let’s go ahead and scratch out gentile manners, why don’t we?”
Edwina cannot help but exclaim, “His what ?”
Kate continues to wear her confidence in both expression and posture.
“That was not for your ears-”
“-And to think that you could have assessed my eligibility with two brief encounters and nary an intimate word exchanged, is a wonder indeed.”
Anthony clears his throat, taking a measured step towards her, “If my advances were in such a losing way, why do my comments on what I hope to find this season cause you such distress, Ms. Sharma.”
“It did nothing of the sort, my Lord. The most that this entire situation has done is allow me to see you for who you really are. And I must say, your character is as deficient as your horsemanship.”
“Ms. Sharma-”
“-And pray tell, Lord Bridgerton, when you manage to find this paragon of virtue, whatever makes you think that she will accept your suit? Are the young ladies of London so easily won by a pleasing smile and absolutely nothing more?”
“So you find my smile pleasing-”
“I find your opinion of yourself entirely too high.”
And without a second glance, Kate graciously strides to the other side of the room.
Anthony stands in both shock and fascination, keeping a close watch on her retreating figure.
Edwina and Benedict share a knowing and quite exasperated look.
♡ ♡ ♡
The next day goes by in a whirlwind. Kate glued to her sister's side, constantly the chaperone and infinitely more confident in their chances of finding Edwina a husband as each courtship starts to flourish. However, that is not to say that she particularly likes nor endorses all of the young men. She would certainly be shirking her sisterly duties if she forgot to utter any one of her numerous objections.
Meanwhile, Anthony has been seeing to his many errands and familial obligations with a new stride in his step. It’s rather refreshing, he ponders while reading the paper one afternoon. His mother’s favorite drawing room is poised with the lively conversations of his many siblings and Francesca practicing the piano off to the side.
“Ah, yes. It certainly seemed as though Anthony had a thrilling time,” Eloise snarks, “Swept away by many a nimble-footed young lady, Brother?”
“I can still barely feel my toes. I thought you ladies were taught to dance,” He answers swiftly.
Eloise sneers, “I thought you gentlemen capable of worthwhile conversation. How sad both of our hopes were dashed.”
Young Hyacinth strolls into the conversation, giving Anthony leave to return to the news, “I think Eloise would make a brilliant diamond.”
“I couldn’t agree more, Hyacinth,” The Dowager Viscountess practically jumps with delight, “Perhaps her Majesty will take note at her ball tomorrow night.”
Eloise sobers, “I despise you.”
A round of chuckling reverberates throughout the room.
Hyacinth discards the notion and quickly bounces in her seat to scrutinize her oldest brother, “Did I hear correctly that you think you might have found your future wife at the ball the other night?”
Anthony makes sure the paper makes as much noise as possible as he flips the page, “That is quite possible, young Hyacinth.”
“I certainly hope it was not someone within the legion that threw themselves at you,” Eloise seems both astonished by the news and yet annoyed at the prospect that one of those young ladies could have caught her brother's eye.
The Viscount snorts, “No.”
Violet speaks in an even tone, “I think it is lovely that you’ve found someone so soon into the season. I am very much proud-”
Anthony notices a newcomer at the door, “Brother,” and nods Benedict over to his table, “Are you and the modiste still, uh, making a stitch?”
“Apparently not,” Benedict grumbles, “Have you found a wife yet? Or are you planning to offend every eligible lady until there are none left? Is Mother aware?”
“Aware of what?” Said woman exclaims, eager to be involved in an unprompted conversation about marriage.
“I’m off to deal with our solicitor,” The eldest brother proclaims, downing the rest of his tea and sharply closing his newspaper. He folds it under his arm as he stands at attention.
Benedict does not let up, “How our dear Brother fumbled his newest acquaintance, completely failing to earn her favor? Perhaps he needs more instruction on how to woo such a woman.”
Anthony grinds his teeth together, an exasperated breath escaping him.
Violet’s pondering gaze turns from one son to the other, “Anthony. Please tell me it's not so.”
“Good day, Mother,” He nods in her direction before doing the same towards Benedict, “Have fun with your pretty pictures, Brother.”
As he rushes from the room, he soon realizes his Mother has started to race after him.
The door is shut but a second when she calls out, “Anthony!”
He slows down so that she may catch up, her hand slipping into the bend of his arm as she rounds in front of him. They both stop to provide the appropriate attention to the conversation.
Violet continues, “There were many lovely young ladies in attendance last night, were there not? Lady Delilah has beautiful manners, and I hear Ms. Goodrum is very accomplished in her needlework. Perhaps you shall get to know them better soon.”
“Lady Delilah can barely string a sentence together for nerves, and Ms. Goodrum thought that Napoleon fights for the Spanish. As for every other eager chit you pushed in my direction, I’d happily never lay eyes on them again-”
“-Anthony-”
“I am looking for perfection, Mother. And you should be too. The woman I marry shall be the Viscountess Bridgerton. The lady of this household, responsible for launching my sisters and bearing my children. Do you truly desire them to be raised by a woman who does not know how to, so much as, hold a map right side up?” His arguments stand firm, he can see it wash over her face.
Violet turns to the side, contemplating but not backing down.
Anthony finishes, “This is the duty I must fulfill. And I’d like to remind you of what Benedict so rudely announced before. I may very well have found her already.”
“Yes, found and insulted in one fell swoop.”
His jaw juts side to side, “I did nothing of the sort. Now, if you’ll excuse me-”
As he steps around her, she calls out, “You will end up alone with such expectations, Anthony… I can only assume it is their very existence that has rattled the beginnings of the courtship you so desire.”
He stalls, “Good day, Mother.”
♡ ♡ ♡
That very same night, Kate is taking some time to herself before going to bed. Her nightgown and shall on, her hair in a neat braid, and her mind wondering. She finds the view from her bedroom window to be adequate to let her make up her mind about so many things- debating some of Edwina’s admirers, of course, but more often than not her very own overtakes the rest.
While his admission to what it is exactly he’s looking for in a wife and his straightforward remarks about his preference of having no love within his marriage put a sour taste in her mouth- Kate couldn’t quite shake the sight of him, the thrum of his voice, the tingle that trailed from her head right to her toes when he smiled at her. The feeling of having known him all her life and, more importantly, the excitement each quip or sly remark invoked.
Without prompt, the door to her room clicks and Lady Danbury quickly shuts it behind herself. A conversation where many truths are uncovered and then explained takes place. Of her dealings with the Sheffields and the weight that has bore down upon Kate's shoulders for years.
“And what about you?” Lady Danbury questions.
“If I could marry for the sake of my family, I would,” Kate attempts to stay undisturbed, “But I am not my mama’s daughter by birth. Edwina is.”
Softly, “Oh.”
“I’ve spent the last eight years raising my sister to walk in the right way, to talk in the right way, to play the pianoforte just so,” A breath, “Teaching her twice as much and watching her work twice as hard as anyone else. I even taught her how to make this pitiful excuse for tea the English so adore- I despise English tea-” Lady Danbury laughs “-But it if means my sister will not be left destitute, then I will smile, and I will nod politely after each and every sip, to be sure.”
The elder woman tilts her head, though a proud smile escapes onto her face, “Your sister has a right to know. As you said, it is her future.”
Kate grows concerned, “That is precisely why I shield her. Because I know her. If she was made aware of the circumstances, she would marry quickly only to please us. She would say yes to any man kind enough to ask. Edwina deserves a chance to find love without such a burden. Please you must not tell a soul.”
“Mmm,” Lady Danbury stands and starts pacing, “And what if you could find yourself a suitable match?”
“I am not looking-”
“Let’s say that one, Viscount Bridgerton, were to ask for your hand in marriage- wouldn’t that also hold a solution to all your problems?”
Shaking her head, Kate replies solemnly, “I am not to be married. We must focus on Edwina.”
“Let’s say you still want to keep your bargain with the Sheffields- surely you becoming a wealthy and influential Viscountess would assist in your sister's quest to find love? It would give her all the time in the world to find what she wants, without being on such a dreadful timer.”
“Lady Danbury- that is not a pragmatic course of action-”
“Then let’s say you do not wish to keep your bargain with the Sheffields- wouldn’t your becoming Viscountess Bridgerton also be a suitable ending to the predicament? Your sister free to love whomever she wants and your mother cared for?”
A staggering breath escapes Kate’s lips, “Re-wording the scenario in many a way does not change the fact that I am not out this season and therefore could not ever be proposed to by anyone, let alone the Viscount.”
“Easily remedied.”
Kate’s eyes widen, “You must stop this nonsensical-”
“-Do not forget that I saw you last night. The two of you. Yes, you were playing confidants to one another and trying to trick the rest of us with your tomfoolery- but I also saw the way you looked at one another. Even at the end, when you so harshly turned him down,” Her face softens, “Would it truly be so bad to have both things? To have what you want and what your family needs?”
“It would never happen, anyways. You yourself have just explained why- I cut short our acquaintance already. And in such a public manner.”
Lady Danbury ignores her, “The two are not mutually exclusive, you know. Familial duty was not born out of a neglect of selfish pursuits, Ms. Sharma.”
Kate lets her shoulders deflate.
“Have a think on it, will you?” With that, she disappears out the door.
And Kate is left with many more thoughts and feelings and potentials than she had at the start of her evening.
♡ ♡ ♡
At the heavily anticipated Queens Ball, all is going well for our heroine. She’s managed to ignore each reminder of the Viscount and Lady Danbury’s opinions. She’s been able to assist her sister in filling her dance card with all the right suitors and is enjoying the soft and light touch of her dress against her legs. It’s a very good night.
So, of course, she ignores the Bridgerton clan when they arrive and take more than their allotted time with the Queen. Most certainly doesn’t track their leader's movements across the ballroom with his brother. Doesn’t notice how tight the fabric between his shoulders is. No, not at all.
And then the Queen announces her diamond and Kate reassures her sister as she goes to join the matriarch at the front of the room. There’s a moment of silence where no gentlemen step forward to introduce themselves, and Kate can see the smile on Edwina’s face shift from joyous to anxious.
Quite luckily, a young man just an inch or two taller than Edwina, steals himself with a cough and straightens his lapel before stepping forward and offering her his hand. His dark complexion is accented by the dark navy of his suit and when their hands touch, Kate is sure she sees her sister blushing under her eyelashes. Interesting.
“They make a lovely pair,” A deep voice says to her right, and in that moment Kate realizes that her chaperones have conveniently left her side during the commotion, “Perhaps you’d like to dance so we might eavesdrop on their conversation and make a judgement on his suitability?”
Kate glances his way before pointedly watching her sister instead, “Did you just try to bribe me with my sisters well-being to get me to dance with you?”
“Did it work?”
“No.”
Anthony smirks and spins on his heel, putting himself directly in her line of sight, “Then perhaps I could persuade you to join me as my way of properly apologizing?”
Huffing, Kate argues, “And what exactly would you be apologizing for? The crude comments against my sex or for being overheard at all?”
“Neither… and both,” While his face is set in stone, she catches a sparkle in his eye, “Though, I’d mainly like to apologize for creating a deficit in your opinion of me. Seeing as mine of you is so high.”
“Another competition, then? Can nothing you do be for the simple act?”
He shrugs and says, “Not when it feels like I’m losing.”
Kate rolls her eyes, forgetting their locale for the moment, and replies, “Sore loser, indeed.”
“Or perhaps I know this one battle would be worth the fight. Now, come, dance with me,” His hand floats in the space between them.
“I am not out this season, nor any future-”
Anthony chuckles, “Then you must put a muzzle on Lady Danbury, as she’s spent the entire evening making sure all of us of the lesser sex know that you are quite out and available for marriage this season.”
This draws her up short, the defiance of her head dropping and her eyes scatter around the ballroom. Searching for the fruits of her sponsor's labor and finding it in the many gentlemen watching her and the Viscount with interest. Ready to strike the moment he steps away. The shock and discomfort reverberate through her, expression faltering and breath picking up.
He takes a step closer, dropping his hand from the air to clasp it around hers, and whispers, “I didn't mean to cause you alarm, but I knew you should not be in the dark about this particular development… I’m so sorry that this is not what you wanted, Kate.”
She instinctually clings to his hand as she attempts to slow her breathing. His head tilts just slightly, trying to catch her eye. Once he has it, he squeezes back and sends her a small but comforting smile.
“Would it be ridiculous to ask you to write your name on every line on my dance card?” She asks, voice higher and breathier than usual.
Anthony’s other hand encloses around hers, shielding it, “I will, if that is what you ask of me. If that is what you truly want .”
She searches his face, comfortable with him this close and with their touching hands. Thankful to be looking at the upturn of his lips, the furrow of his brow, and the intensity of his eyes- than the wolves about the room, just waiting to pounce. She nods.
In one swift motion, he’s got the dance card in his hand and is scribbling intensely. Kate holds her breath, not believing her eyes and the utter lack of manners in what he is doing. If his name is on her card, he cannot simply go mingle with the gaggle of women vying for his attention tonight. It’s an insult.
Yet, it’s one that she asked him to impart.
And he did. Unquestioningly.
Once done, his fingers slot through hers and he pulls gently. A large breath escapes her as she realizes the direction his feet are leading them. And she lets him.
♡ ♡ ♡
Several dances later and a glass of lemonade each, we find the Viscount and Ms. Sharma at the edge of the room. A corner near enough to the dance floor to keep an eye on Edwina but out of the immediate eye line of Kate’s own starving potential suitors. There’s less space between them, as their glasses dwindle towards empty.
“Are you that against marriage for yourself, that you become petrified at the horde of gentlemen trying to catch your eye?” Anthony asks, hiding a smirk behind his glass.
Kate half rolls her eyes and half shoots daggers at him, “I am not afraid , Lord Bridgerton. I was simply in shock and overwhelmed. This particular development was not part of the plan.”
“The plan to find Edwina a husband? That one?”
“Of course.”
His elbow brushes past hers, “So you haven’t accounted for your own future? Your own happiness?”
Her lips purse and her head tilts his direction, though her attention is on her sister across the room, “I have dedicated my life to ensuring she is prepared for this endeavor and that she is able to find love and happiness in the end. I do not pretend to think that both of us could achieve such things in this life, let alone in the same season. Unlike Lady Danbury, who really ought to mind herself, I do not want my attention on anything but Edwina.”
“So she gets married, flies off into the sunset… What then, Ms. Sharma?” He places both of their empty cups on a nearby table.
“I won’t go into a loveless marriage with you, if that’s what you’re getting at, Lord Bridgerton.”
“I wasn’t-”
“-Though it may be a duty to us all- there is very much a difference between the goals of your season and ours. Please do not confuse yourself.”
“You asking me to be your knight in shining armor tonight raises many confusing questions about our relationship, Ms. Sharma. At the very least, the masses will believe I’ve taken quite an interest in you. Singular-minded, even. They could say the same about you,” He argues, trying to keep his voice light.
Kate looks at him out of the corner of her eye, “Unfortunately for you and the game you're trying to play, I will have to entertain those ravenous gentlemen at some point in time. What frustrates me most about this absurd plot of Lady Danbury’s is that I cannot refuse. I cannot simply say, ‘no, thank you, I’d really rather not’ and will have to endure everything the season has to throw at me.”
“We could continue our courtship and no one would find it rude to only have eyes for me.”
Shaking her head, she replies, “Though we have grown friendly, Lord Bridgerton, please do not get ahead of yourself. This is not a relationship and it certainly isn’t a real courtship. You were simply doing the right thing when I was in distress.”
“No, I was doing the selfish thing when I saw you in distress and knew I could have you all to myself tonight,” He corrects, his arm brushing hers and then staying pointedly in place, “Also, please call me Anthony. I feel like I’m being scolded every time you use my title.”
Kate’s attention snaps to his, long lashes blinking fast as she tries to piece together his expression, “I still do not wish to be married, Lord- And you know that! Why must you be so difficult?”
His smile dances with amusement, “I’d argue that you're the one making this much harder than it has to be. What harm could a little courtship and conversation with me do? If you truly do not wish to marry, you can deny me at the end of the season and be on your way. No change in plan.”
“I do not need this distraction and you need to find a Viscountess. That cannot happen if you’re committed to a doomed relationship. I will not be the cause of you shirking your duties.”
Anthony huffs out a breath and turns so that they’re facing one another head on, “Kate, please.”
“I do not remember giving you permission to use-”
“I don’t know what I’m doing, okay? You’re right. You’ve turned me down at every turn and yet I cannot get you out of my head. I cannot take a step away from you. I cannot force myself not to give you my undivided attention. Please- just give this a chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”
Taking a slow, deliberate breath, Kate takes in his words. His open expression. While he is like stone, a building stood against the wind, she feels flushed and that all of her windows have blown wide open. Why did he have to be sincere about this? Why couldn’t he have kept acting the rake?
“Let me court you and we’ll see how it goes. I won’t distract you from your sister- I know how important she is to you. But- I don’t know. Let me be reckless in a way I’ve never been about my duties… let’s be reckless together.” His whisper caresses and tingles her face, her neck. It’s low timber causing goosebumps to rise along her skin.
“I-” She starts, then gulps, “Anthony, I-”
“Kate!” Edwina’s voice carries over the noise of the crowd as she and the suitor from the beginning of the night make their way over, “Kate, I’d like you to meet Mr. Bagwell.”
Said gentleman nods towards them and kisses Kate’s hand, “Viscount Bridgerton, Ms. Sharma. It’s lovely to meet you.”
“He’s studying archaeology at Oxford-” Edwina starts
“I’m only in my second year-” He explains.
“-And has many thoughts on the books I read on our trip overseas.”
Her sister's smile is contagious and Kate cannot help the affection laced in her voice, “That sounds quite intriguing, for sure. Tell me, Mr. Bagwell, what does your family do?”
“Oh, my older brother runs the house as Lord Bagwell. Unfortunately, he was unable to join us in London this season. Some of the land under his care needed his attention,” He explains, standing straighter and seeming to work hard at making eye contact with the two elder members of their party.
Anthony smiles, “Yes, I thought I recognized your name. Your brother was a loose friend of mine at school. It’s good to hear he’s doing well.”
“He is, yes.”
Edwina’s smile might explode off her face with how wide it has become, her brown eyes jumping from each person to the next. Kate can’t help but notice.
“Well, look at your girls, Mary, making friends and looking after one another. Like I told you they would be,” Lady Danbury said pointedly over her shoulder as the two matriarchs shoulder their way into the ever-growing circle.
Mary’s face deflates from worried to relieved when she sets her eyes on Kate. No one misses it either. Mr. Bagwell valiantly keeps a straight face while Edwina’s eyebrows push together. Anthony clears his throat and glances down, an inch evaporating in the space between him and Kate. Kate looks from her mother to Lady Danbury, her jaw setting and eyes freezing over.
“What’s the matter?” Edwina asks her mother, hand on her elbow.
Kate’s smile is venomous, “I guess you haven’t heard yet, dear sister. Apparently, I’m to join you this season.”
Edwina’s head whips around and her mouth drops open.
Lady Danbury meets Kate’s accusing gaze and replies simply, “And look- it’s already drawn the attention of the one suitor you’ve shown interest in. How successful a scheme.”
“A scheme, to be sure.”
Anthony presses his arm against Kates, “Well, seeing as I’ve got a lot of wooing to do tonight- please excuse us while we have another dance.”
Mary and Edwina exchange an unreadable glance as Kate shoves her hand into his arm and forcefully escorts him to the dance floor. A metaphorical dust storm in their wake.
“What did you-” Mary whirls on Agatha, “Why would you-”
“She and I had a conversation, and to keep things short and in confidence, I will only say this: All I did was give her a push in the right direction. Nothing more,” Lady Danbury explains to the two Sharma’s and sends a farewell look to the uncomfortable Mr. Bagwell, before sauntering off on her own.
♡ ♡ ♡
“You’re mother seems to know you rather well,” Anthony says in her ear during one of the brief moments they’re within a close distance of one another. Their dance becomes more complicated the longer it goes on.
Kate’s rage melts a fraction and her movements grow more relaxed when she replies, “She does. Even without being with me from birth, she has filled my life with her loving presence and I could not have asked for anyone better in her place.”
“And your sister seems quite taken with that young chap.”
Her smile splits wide open, “Now that was rather fast… but not unwanted.”
“It’s refreshing to see someone who wants to be out this season and to find what they’re looking for. She’s excitable, but extremely level-headed about what she wants,” He muses, “Must take after her sister in that department.”
“Surely one of your many siblings is looking forward to courtship and marriage?” She asks the next time he twirls her around.
He waits until he’s able to hold her in his arms for longer than a second, “The youngest ones, Hyacinth and Gregory, are having a hard time having to wait for all of it. Though, I think their high expectations come from the way our mother speaks about our father, even after so many years without him.”
“How long ago did he pass?”
“A while, ten years perhaps.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“And I reciprocate the sentiment for your losses.”
They’re quiet for a moment, swaying in time with the music and other couples, and their grip on one another seems to tighten. Kate stares at the folds in his suit jacket while gathering her thoughts, as they spiral and spiral through years and kilometers towards what she always will consider her home.
“My fathers passing was less sudden than my mothers, but no less difficult. My mother… I do not have many memories of, and those I do are from the end… I typically avoid thinking of her. That’s terrible, isn’t it?” She admits, voice low.
His hands pull her an inch closer, damning the room full of eyes on them, and replies gently, “I do not think of my father either… I have plenty of happy memories with him, for sure. But seeing him die- it will always cloud my mind when thoughts of him intrude. I do not think you’re terrible- only traumatized.”
“And here I was hoping I was just ignoring my fears.”
His cheek brushes against hers, “I’m glad you’ve had family around you who supports you in every way possible, to help you through it. Both times.”
“The same to you. I can imagine the weight put on you after his death and hope such a full house helped in some way.”
His throat closes and his gulp is very audible, “Kate… please tell me what you were going to say- what decision you made before your sister found us. It’s been- I need to know.”
Her shaky breath tickles his jaw and ear, but her reply takes his breath away, “Okay… I was going to say ‘okay’ to your plea… What harm could it do, right?”
“Kate-” Anthony chokes up before he can continue, “Thank you.”
She laughs, “There’s nothing to thank me for. We will continue on as we have been, spoiling each other with our attention and ignoring the rest of the ton . I will just strive to be less grumpy about it.”
“Not entirely without grumpiness, I hope,” His voice in her ear exposes his smile, “You wouldn’t be you without it.”
“Shut your mouth, Anthony Bridgerton.”
“Just this once. Because you asked so nicely.”
Kate’s foot stomps down onto his and their combined laughter draws the eyes of the partygoers around them. She hides her face in his chest until she pulls herself together. His smile lights up the room.