Work Text:
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 12 Devet, 705 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Backwater Pass and Administrative District Housing Section
Incident type: Thievery, resisting arrest
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Hoarfrost Unit
Citizens involved: N/A
Personal account:
Gepard is actually off-duty for once when he first meets Sampo. He’s in a back street of Belobog, reading the new volume of Tale of the Winterlands and waiting for Lynx to text that she’s returned from her expedition, when he hears shouts down the street. A man comes vaulting over the wall, blue hair a mess and heavy coat crooked over his shoulders, and slams right into Gepard. They both sprawl across the snowy pavement, and Gepard watches mournfully as his book’s pristine pages get twisted and wet upon hitting the ground face-down.
He hauls himself up, picks up his book, and offers the man a hand, frowning. “What were you doing?”
The man takes his hand and grins devilishly at him, something scheming lighting up behind his eyes. “Ehe~ Hey, handsome. Sorry for our little spill there. Seems I just couldn’t help falling for you!”
Gepard frowns again. “Don’t be ridiculous. Answer my question.”
A crash from down the street.
The man peeks behind his shoulder nervously. He has an urgent air about him. “Uh- just taking a walk! Getting my exercise in, practicing my vaults… Say, how ‘bout we get out of this alley and take this somewhere a little more romantic, hm?”
Gepard looks at him, eyes narrowing.
Blue hair. Sly smile. Heavy black coat. Gloved hands. Light boots far better for sneaking than exercise. Double daggers on his back. A familiar face… perhaps one he’s seen on guard reports before…
The man winks and clasps his hands.
Gepard rolls his eyes. “Come on, then. We can head to the plaza.”
“Um!” he says. “If you would, I prefer to have my encounters in places a little more private?”
Gepard takes a breath and tries very hard to remember the flirting tips Serval had insisted on giving him all those years ago. He summons a small smile and looks up at the man. “My place, then?”
The man lights up. “Your place it is!”
Was that actually believable?
Were most people stupid enough to bring random, suspicious strangers into their homes, or was this man just that desperate?
“…Just give me a minute to let my sister know I’m leaving.” He pulls out his phone.
Gepard lets Sampo— who for some reason was not smart enough to give a fake name— through his apartment door and closes it behind them. “Can I take your coat?”
Sampo draws it closer around him with a nervous chuckle. “Uh, no thanks! I… get cold easily.” “Okay,” he says, and turns the heater up. He gestures to the couch, and they both sit.
Sampo grins at him and fidgets with his buttons. “… You’re a really bad liar,” Gepard says, and locks a pair of handcuffs around Sampo’s wrists.
Sampo freezes. “Huh?”
He whistles, and the Silvermane Guard unit that had been chasing him before bursts in.
Gepard stands and pulls Sampo up by the cuffs. He tugs open his coat and pulls out the Codex of Yuraj— a priceless relic from the time of the Architects, and one that had gone mysteriously missing from the museum that morning.
“Sampo Koski,” he says. “Smuggler and thief. You’re under arrest.”
Sampo pouts at him childishly. “Seriously? Come on, Goldie, I really thought we had something!”
Gepard hands Sampo off to the lieutenant of the unit and says, “Take him straight to the prison. Be careful, I’ve heard he’s slippery. — And please make sure the Codex is returned safely to the museum.”
“Yes, sir,” he salutes. “Thank you for your assistance.”
The guards exit Gepard’s door. Sampo pouts at him again but doesn’t resist further.
Gepard sighs and returns to his book.
Half an hour later, he gets a call.
“Sir,” says the lieutenant, “… He escaped.”
Gepard inhales sharply. “What.”
“We were careful, as you ordered,” he says, “But several minutes after we left him in the cell, he was just gone. Handcuffs and all.”
“… I see,” Gepard says, frustrated but unsurprised. “Don’t worry, lieutenant, I’m not angry— that wasn’t your fault. Just fill out your report. I’ll deal with him personally next time.”
“Yes, sir!”
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 08 Jedanae, 705 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Silvermane Guard Restricted Zone
Incident type: Tresspassing, smuggling of illicit substances
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Restricted Zone faction
Citizens involved: N/A
Personal account:
The next time Gepard meets Sampo, he catches him surreptitiously dragging a giant wooden crate through the city’s outer gate.
He steps into the street of the Restricted Zone and raises his weapon. “Halt. Citizens are not permitted to open or close the gates of Belobog. Put your hands up, and walk towards me, slowly. Leave the crate.”
The guards behind him raise their guns, too. One officer goes to close the gate behind Sampo quickly, and brings the crate in.
Sampo chuckles, taking only one step forward. “What, you can’t make an exception for your favorite convicted criminal?”
“There are no exceptions to the law,” Gepard says, “and even if there were, you would be no favorite of mine. Officer, what’s in the crate? Open it carefully.”
The guard rips open the messy tape and tilts up the lid of the box. “There are cloth bags, sir,” he says. “Full of what appears to be Tundra Serdweed and Soothing Mushrooms.”
Gepard grimaces. Tundra Serdweed is a particularly strong variation of a plant used to make a common street stimulant, and it only grows outside the city walls. Soothing Mushrooms are found in snowy caves, both outside Belobog and in the Underground, and they contain a dangerous chemical known as psilocybin.
Basically, Sampo is smuggling drugs.
“Dispose of it,” he says, “and check inside and outside the gates to see if he has more stashes.” He pulls handcuffs off his belt. “And you’re under arrest, for trespassing, smuggling of illegal substances, and opening the city walls to an incredibly dangerous outside region.”
Sampo offers up his wrists without a fight. Gepard eyes him suspiciously, but clicks the cuffs around them anyway.
“Don’t make a fuss,” he says. “I’ll bring him back to Qlipoth Fort,” he adds to the other guards. They all salute.
Halfway through their journey down the frozen streets back to the Administrative District, Sampo slips his wrists out of the cuffs and flees. Gepard, stuck in his heavy armor and lugging around his big guitar case, is no match.
Ugh. That’s another pair of handcuffs gone.
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 10 Dvanae, 705 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Administrative District back streets
Incident type: Smuggling of illicit substances
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: N/A
Personal account:
A month later, Gepard catches Sampo smuggling again. He’s dragging a cart full of wooden crates down a back alley of the Administrative District. This time, they’re full of Geomarrow and corroded robot parts.
Gepard leaves his unit at the plaza and goes to arrest him.
He locks the handcuffs around Sampo’s wrists. Sampo waggles his eyebrows. “Wow, this is the third time you’ve cuffed me like this. You that into bondage?”
“…”
Gepard ignores that comment and makes sure to hold his wrists tight on their way back. Sampo still manages to slip out of his grasp.
He investigates the alley’s surrounding area, but fails to find the hidden passage to the Underworld.
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 02 Dve, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Backwater Pass
Incident type: Trespassing, smuggling
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: N/A
Personal account:
While on patrol, Gepard catches Sampo in the newly-closed-off Backwater Pass, smuggling various types of alcohol.
Rinse and repeat. Arrest, handcuff, escape.
… Does Gepard need to invest in stronger cuffs?
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 14 Triev, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Administrative District back streets
Incident type: Smuggling and selling of illicit substances
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: Anonymous informant
Personal account:
Gepard finds Sampo in the main city again, selling serdweed and liquor in an alley.
He plans to interrogate Sampo and find out how he’s been getting in and out of Belobog since he upped security at the restricted zone. Sampo escapes before he can.
Gepard decides to start doing sprint training in armor. One of these days, he’ll get fast enough to catch Sampo during his escape attempts.
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 09 Cetyri, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Administrative District back streets
Incident type: Smuggling and selling of illicit substances
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: N/A
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 23 Cetyri, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Bank of Belobog
Incident type: Thievery
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Bank security, Skiftfall Unit
Citizens involved: Bank staff
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 13 Piet, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Backwater Pass
Incident type: Trespassing, smuggling
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: N/A
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 29 Piet, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Outlying Snow Plains
Incident type: Smuggling, illegal presence outside city borders
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Blizzard Patrol Squad
Citizens involved: N/A
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 10 Szest, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Belobog Military Academy
Incident type: Thievery of weapons from city property
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Military Academy security
Citizens involved: N/A
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 02 Sedam, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Silvermane Guards Restricted Zone
Incident type: Trespassing
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Restricted Zone faction
Citizens involved: N/A
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 23 Sedam, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: University of Belobog
Incident type: Identity thieft, thievery of university property
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: University security
Citizens involved: N/A
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 16 Osem, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Outlying Snow Plains
Incident type: Smuggling, illegal presence outside city borders
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: Blizzard Patrol Squadron
Citizens involved: N/A*
*No citizens of Belobog present. Outsiders Caelus, March 7 th , and Dan Heng, who claim to be from distant space, were arrested as accomplices.
Personal account:
Gepard’s patrol squadron catch Sampo red-handed, smuggling in more serdweed and mushrooms, as well as Fragmentum monster parts. For once, they find him before he manages to get into the city. His lieutenant contacts Gepard immediately, and he shows up as soon as he can.
They get held up battling the mysterious outsiders. Sampo disappears.
He arrests the three, hoping Sampo will come after his accomplices. But it appears as though they were oblivious to his criminal activities. More investigation will be required.
… Apparently Sampo told them that Gepard was an “old friend” of his. He isn’t sure how to feel about this.
[MEETING REPORT]
Date: 25 Osem, 706 AF
Involved parties: Gepard Landau, Captain
Bronya Rand, Supreme Guardian
Meeting summary:
Gepard and Bronya meet to discuss Bronya’s newfound leadership.
They’re productive for a solid several hours before they both grow tired of the political talk.
Neither are unprofessional enough to say as such, of course. Bronya simply sorts away one last file into her folders and says, “We can continue this discussion at a later date.”
Gepard nods. “Very well. I’ll see myself out, Lady Bronya.”
She shakes her head. “You can stay, actually. I wanted to speak to you about something personal.”
“Of course.” He returns to his spot by her desk. “What is it?”
“A few things,” she tells him. “First, I wanted to know if you could ask your sister to come meet me soon.”
“I can,” he says, “but if it’s about her rejoining the Guards, I warn you she’ll likely refuse.”
Bronya shakes her head. “I will ask her about that at some point— but I was actually wondering if she could tell me a little more about her time spent with my mother. I know they were close when they were younger… I just want to know what might have led her down this path. And I’d like to hear it from somebody who cared about her as well.”
Gepard softens. “Bronya…” he says, forgetting for a brief moment about titles. “If you need anything, from either of us, you need only ask.”
Bronya smiles at him. “I know. Thank you, Captain.”
[UNOFFICIAL MEEETING REPORT]
Date: 27 Osem, 706 AF
Involved parties: Gepard Landau, Tortured Middle Child
Serval Landau, Teasing Older Sister
Lynx Landau, Little Hellspawn
Gepard, Serval, and Lynx meet up for sleepovers once a week, every Sunday. It’s the only day all three of them are free— that is, on weeks Gepard isn’t on duty, Serval doesn’t have a concert or show to prep for, and Lynx isn’t out on an expedition— and when they were very young they made an oath that the three of them would never lose their close siblinghood.
Serval grins at him. “I heard somebody’s been having quite the fling~”
Gepard frowns at her. He claps his hands over Lynx’s ears before asking incredulously, “Who?”
Lynx pouts and removes his hands. “Geppie, I’m not that young—”
“Sampo, of course!” she exclaims with a huge, teasing grin.
“I’m not having a fling,” Gepard says, “and certainly not with that— that— infuriating criminal. Who told you that?”
Serval laughs. “Sampo, of course,” she repeats.
“You can’t believe a word that miscreant says,” Gepard says. “And— you’re still talking to Sampo? I thought I told you to stay away from him. And— wait a minute, Sampo told you we were—” He covers Lynx’s ears again, but struggles to find the words anyway.
Serval giggles. “Relax, Geppie, he didn’t tell me you two were fucking— he told me that you’ve been ignoring his come-ons like a prude. And we don’t hang out, so don’t freak out— I just see him whenever he drops off materials at Nat’s.”
“Watch your language,” he says.
“I’m literally older than you— and a grown-ass woman,” she says.
“Language—”
“I don’t mind,” Lynx interjects. “… I’m literally an adult too.”
“No, you’re still just a little baby,” Gepard tells her.
“Am not!”
“You’re always just a baby to me,” he says.
“Now you know how I feel about you,” Serval grins and ruffles his hair.
He frowns at her. “Then why did you just try to bring up my—” He pauses again.
“Your sex life?” Lynx asks.
“Lynx—”
Serval laughs at him again. “He was right. You are a prude, Geppie.”
Gepard scowls. “— I thought I told you to stay away from Sampo. He’s dangerous, sis.”
“And I can handle myself,” she reminds him. “And besides, Nat says he’s not that bad. A little untrustworthy, but not a terrible person all in all. I mean, you’re the one who’s—” She grins and makes a crude gesture.
He groans, but doesn’t argue further. “Anyway,” he says sternly, “if I have been— ignoring his advances, it’s because he’s an dishonest, deceitful, extremely frustrating convicted criminal and it’s my duty to hunt him down and arrest him.”
Lynx giggles. “So you wouldn’t ignore his advances if not for your job?”
“That’s not what I said— Serval, you’ve corrupted her—!”
Great. Now they’re both laughing at him.
He hates his sisters. (He loves them more than anything.)
“Anyway,” he growls, “Serval, Lady Bronya was asking after you the other day—”
“Don’t change the subject,” Lynx says.
“She was hoping you would meet with her.”
“Geppie,” says Serval, successfully distracted, “nothing against Bronya, but you know I have no interest in meeting with her about joining the Guards again. She’s already approached me about it once.”
He shakes his head. “I know, Serval. It’s not about the Guards. She said she wanted to discuss Madam Cocolia.”
Serval stiffens even further. “I have even less interest in discussing the past.”
“She’s not expecting you to justify Cocolia’s actions to her,” Gepard says. “She just wanted to talk with someone else who knew what it was like to care about her and feel betrayed.”
She nods. “Fine. I’ll meet with her.”
“Thank you,” he says.
“Don’t thank me,” she says. “It’s for her sake, idiot.”
“You’re a good person, Serval,” he tells her softly.
She sighs at him. “Don’t get all sentimental on me now, Geppie— and hey. You are, too.”
He smiles tiredly at her. The air of the room tastes bittersweet.
Lynx pouts. “What, am I not a good person?”
They both laugh. Serval reaches over to ruffle her hair. “I love you both,” she says warmly.
Gepard leans on her shoulder. “I love you too,” he tells her. “— Just never bring up my sex life again.”
Lynx gasps melodramatically. “Geppie!” she says. “Did you just say the s-word?!”
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 15 Deziet, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Entrance to Boulder Town
Incident type: Smuggling of illicit substances
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: N/A
Gepard is heading to his new patrol route in the Underworld where he finds Sampo surreptitiously hiding his face in his giant, bulky black coat.
He doesn’t even hesitate. He just pulls the handcuffs out and says, “Hold your wrists out, Sampo.”
Sampo grins at him. “Hello again, Geppie!” He takes a subtle step backwards.
“Do not call me that,” he says sternly. “Wrists. — Take off the coat, then give me your wrists.”
“Ooh, take me to dinner first,” Sampo winks.
“Do not make this weird,” he says. “Coat off. Wrists.”
Sampo slips the coat off. The pockets are stuffed with bags of serdweed. In one pocket, he has a wallet containing several shield and several IDs with various names. Another has a half-drunken can of cheap beer.
“I… am confiscating all of this,” he says. He tucks in under his arm and uses his other hand to lock the handcuffs around Sampo’s wrists.
“Are these new?” Sampo asks. “Heh, they feel a bit colder than the previous cuffs you’ve put on me. Can we go back a model?”
“I have redesigned our handcuffs twelve times for you,” Gepard says. “We are not going back a model.”
“Twelve times? For little old me?” Sampo beams. “Aw, Goldie, you shouldn’t have!”
“Then you shouldn’t keep escaping.”
There is something oddly comfortable about this conversation that really shouldn’t be. Gepard doesn’t like it. He doesn’t understand why. But he’s comfortable in Sampo’s presence. It’s become easy— too easy.
“And you shouldn’t keep trying to capture me.”
“My deepest apologies,” Gepard says genially. “I’m afraid that may be my job.”
Sampo laughs.
Something has changed.
He blames Serval.
(Sampo escapes again.)
[INCIDENT REPORT]
Date: 22 Jedanae, 706 AF
Presiding officer and rank: Gepard Landau, Captain
Location of incident: Administrative District Plaza
Incident type: Obstructing an officer on-duty
Suspect/offender: Sampo Koski
Other officers present: N/A
Citizens involved: N/A
Sampo approaches Gepard, this time.
“Hey Goldie,” he says, sauntering up to him at his post guarding the plaza. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Sampo,” he says. He’s exhausted today— spent last night on paperwork and reports— so he waits for Sampo to make the first move.
Sampo peers at him curiously. “You okay?”
“It’s not your business,” Gepard snaps— irritable, tired, wishing he could just arrest Sampo and stop getting distracted by him. Stop getting confused by him.
“Ouch,” Sampo says. “Okay.”
Gepard sighs and pulls out the handcuffs. “Just… Please don’t run this time.”
Sampo waits until he’s in the cell and out of Gepard’s hands to escape.
[MEETING REPORT]
Date: 04 Dvanae, 706 AF
Involved parties: Gepard Landau, Captain
Bronya Rand, Supreme Guardian
Meeting summary:
“Lady Bronya,” Gepard says, hovering in the doorway to her office. “You called?”
“Gepard,” she says. “Come in. I wanted to ask how you’ve been doing.”
“Fine,” he says. “Why?”
She sighs. “You’ve seemed exhausted lately, and you turned in a ridiculous pile of paperwork the other day. And you sent in a report for Sampo Koski “obstructing an officer” the other day when citizen statements say it was a simple conversation. Actually, you’ve written every single report about Koski personally for… over a year.”
“He’s… a very frustrating criminal,” he offered.
Bronya sighs again. “I mean, I’m not going to tell you what to do about this, Gepard. Just take care of yourself, okay? Don’t overwork yourself. Not to finish paperwork and not to catch Sampo.”
“I won’t,” he says, and he’s telling the truth— he will try. “Thank you. And hey— you too, Bronya. Just because you’re Supreme Guardian now isn’t an excuse to overwork yourself, either.”
She dismisses him.
[UNOFFICIAL MEEETING REPORT]
Date: 17 Jedna, 707 AF
Involved parties: Gepard Landau, Emotionally Constipated Idiot
Serval Landau, Long-Suffering Older Sister
He tries.
He does.
For over a month, he avoids Sampo. (Bronya’s orders about overworking himself are definitely not just his excuse to avoid his feelings). He hands off related missions to other trusted officers, all of whom fail miserably and don’t even manage to capture Sampo at all. He still does his job, of course he does; he handles paperwork, he takes other missions, he patrols the city and snow fields. He… does not end up cutting his work hours by much, since he takes on other tasks to make up for it. He even hears other officers gossiping that he’s seemed grumpier lately, despite all this.
It’s Serval who finally corners him.
“Geppie,” she says to him one day as they hang out in her workshop, “You’ve been down lately.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“You clearly have,” she insists. “You look sad. Lonely. You’ve seemed… out of focus.”
He flashes her a confused look. “I don’t… what?”
“I’m serious,” Serval tells him. “Did something happen? Anything at all?”
Gepard hesitates.
She sighs and smiles teasingly at him. “Something with Sampo, maybe?”
“No,” he blurts immediately. “What? Why would it be- what would this have to do with- what? No.”
She pokes his cheek. “You’re blushing~” she singsongs. “Come on, Geppie, you can’t hide from me. I’m your older sister. I’m all-knowing.”
“Nothing happened,” he says sternly.
“Natasha tells me that Sampo’s been down lately, too,” Serval says.
“What are you hinting at?”
“Nothing! Just that maybe whatever happened between you two lovebirds is affecting him too~”
“Nothing. Happened.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” she suggests. “Maybe something needs to happen. When was the last time you saw him?”
He sighs. “Jedanae 22nd.”
She barks a laugh. “You remember the exact date? Wow, you have fallen farther than I thought.”
“Fallen?...” Gepard asks.
“Don’t be an idiot, Geppie,” Serval says, side-eying him. “Come on. You have to know that you have the world’s most obvious crush on him.”
His jaw drops. “I. Do. Not. No such thing. Sampo is a— a criminal! A lying, deceitful—”
“And you like him.”
“Serval.”
“Geppie.” She sighs at him, shakes her head, rolls her eyes. “Please.”
He swallows.
He does not. Have a crush. On Sampo Koski.
That would be ridiculous.
They are— mature, fully developed, fully functioning adults. Crushes are childish.
And— and Sampo was—
“Okay,” he says. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean—”
“And he is, like, head-over-heels for you,” Serval continues. “And you’ve both been depressed because you haven’t seen each other since Jedanae 22nd, which you remember exactly because I’m sure you’ve been counting the days. Go see him.”
“What?” he says. “Why would I— wait, you know where he is?”
“Uh, yeah,” she says, like it’s obvious. “Natasha knows so she can come patch him up after jobs gone wrong, and I know because Nat knows.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” He frowns at her. “I could have arrested him ages ago!”
Serval groans. “That is not the point here.”
“And the point is?”
“That you should go see him! And ask him out!” She shoves his shoulder.
“Serval,” he says again.
“Gepard.” She meets his gaze evenly, her eyes steely and certain.
He sighs. “Even if I did like him and even if I was going to ask him out, the situation remains that I cannot in good conscience date him, because the police can’t grant exceptions— especially the captain. I’d still have to arrest him.”
Serval shrugs. “You can still try to prevent him from committing crimes. Hey, technically speaking, you’d be in an even better position to do that as his boyfriend. Come on, Gepard, out of all the people who are contributing to the corruption of the guards, you are not one of them. You’re like, the purest one.”
Gepard smiles at that, but still shakes his head. “I still can’t—”
“Just go see him,” she tells him. “Okay? Start with that.”
[UNOFFICIAL MEETING REPORT]
Date: 23 Jedna, 707 AF
Involved parties: Gepard Landau, Idiot Who Finally Came to His Senses
Sampo Koski, Huge Simp and Unfairly Romantic Criminal
Special Mention: Serval Landau, World’s Best Wingwoman
Dr. Natasha, Exasperated but Relieved
Gepard heads to Natasha’s clinic almost a week later. He knocks, somewhat awkwardly, and stands outside the door. He has not been to the Underground many times before, and most were just patrol. But here he stands, off-duty, in a casual sweater, waiting for his sister’s girlfriend to answer the door so he can go ask a criminal on a date.
The world is strange sometimes.
He’s still not so sure about this operation.
But he’s here, so he might as well.
Natasha opens the door, holding a clipboard in one hand, the other tucked into her white coat’s pocket. “Hello, Captain Gepard,” she says. “Come in, how are you?”
“Hello, Dr. Natasha,” he greets.
Natasha turns. “Serval,” she calls, “your brother’s here!”
“Actually,” he says, ‘I was— wondering where I can find Sampo?”
She looks back at him, relief on her face. “Oh, you’ve come to see him? Thank Qlipoth. You two really need to talk to each other. He’s been such a mess. Yes, of course— I’ll write down the address of the place he’s been staying at.”
As he thanks her, Serval walks into the room, dressed in casual clothes. “Hey, Geppie,” she says. “If you’re not here for Sampo, I’m dragging your ass to his place whether you like it or not.”
Gepard glares at her.
“He’s here for Sampo,” Natasha says. “No need for dragging.”
“Oh, good,” Serval says. She shoves Gepard’s shoulder lightly, pushing him toward the door. “Go get him, bro.”
He sighs and smiles and exits the clinic.
The place where Sampo’s staying is a small, fairly run-down little house on the edge of Boulder Town. It looks messy, but kind of empty, and Gepard wonders if Sampo has a lot of little places he moves between.
He looks down at himself— he’s wearing casual but nice clothes, he’s combed his hair, he even went back up to the Overworld to pick up flowers (he’d debated bringing some of the ones he’d grown, but they weren’t looking so good…)— and he fights the voice in his head that tells him he’s being stupid.
“It’s okay,” he says aloud, quietly. “I’m okay.”
He knocks.
There’s a crash and a yelp and then the sound of someone scurrying all over the house before, a minute later, Sampo opens the door, hair a mess. Inside the house, bags are suspiciously hidden under desks and a blanket’s been thrown over a lump on the couch.
“Gepard,” he says in shock, “what are you doing here?” He recovers quickly and flips his personality, leaning on the door frame and pasting on his trademark grin. “I mean, there’s nothing illegal going on here!”
Gepard shoves the flowers at Sampo’s face, blushing furiously, face turned away, and he blurts, “Willyougooutwithme?”
The door slams shut in his face.
Gepard blinks. “Uh—” he starts.
Sampo opens the door again, looks Gepard up and down— no uniform in sight, bouquet tucked into his arm— and slams the door again.
“Hold on—”
Open. Shut.
“Sampo—” he says.
Open. Shut.
“Sampo—”
Sampo opens the door again and leaves it open this time. His hair is visibly neater. “… Why don’t you come in, Goldie,” he says.
He steps inside and awkwardly holds out the flowers again.
Sampo takes them. “Wow, flowers?” he chuckles, walking over to set them on a table. “You’re really going all-in on the romantic cliches, huh, Goldie? Are you that desperate? Wow, you’re bright red—”
Gepard flushes even brighter and scowls. In their time apart, he almost forgot how annoying Sampo could be. He backs Sampo into the wall and slams his hand next to his head. “Take this seriously,” he snaps.
Something jangles on the wall.
Sampo turns red too. “Wow, Goldie, take me to dinner first,” he teases, looking at where Gepard’s hand is pinning him to the wall.
Gepard doesn’t pay him any attention— instead, he looks up for what made the noise. “What… are these?” he asks.
Sampo swallows and looks up as well. “Oh, uh—” He chuckles again. “Those are just— ahem— just everyhandcuffyou’veeverputonme no big deal!”
Gepard backs up to take in the wall. There are— Aeons, there are so many. At least twenty handcuffs, all hanging up neatly on the wall.
“This is what you’ve been doing with them?” he asks incredulously.
Sampo waves his hand. “I just— um— wanted something to remember our escapades by!”
Gepard looks closer. The handcuffs are organized neatly, presumably by date, with all 12 redesigns featured. He laughs. “This— and you called me the romantic?” he says. He’s not frustrated anymore.
“It’s not—”
“Sampo,” he says. “This is really sweet. Please go out with me.”
Sampo laughs nervously— he does that a lot, Gepard notices, whenever they have emotional conversations— and jokes, “‘Please’? You really are desperate—”
Gepard groans. “Take. This. Seriously,” he says again, a little more lightheartedly.
He softens. “Sorry, Gep,” he says, and his voice is uncharacteristically hesitant. “I— um— yes. yeah. I’ll go out with you.”
Gepard softens too, and his face fills with slight disbelief. “Really?” he says.
Sampo laughs. “Gepard,” he says. “I didn’t spend several years drawing your attention and stealing away your handcuffs and keeping them on my wall because I didn’t care about you.”
“Oh,” he says. “Okay. Great. I, um— I care about you, too.”
“Yeah, I got that,” Sampo smiles at him. “Thanks for the flowers.”
Gepard flushes and looks down. “Yeah.”
“So,” he starts, “who finally helped you get your head out of your ass and ask me out?”
“Serval,” Gepard sighs. “… How did you know?”
“Because you have way too much obliviousness and not enough confidence to do this on your own.”
“Shut up, Koski.” He shoves Sampo’s shoulder, but he’s smiling. It’s kind of nice to interact with Sampo like this— on good terms, lighthearted environment, no stress over finally capturing him, just… the two of them. existing. together.
Sampo smirks at him, but there’s real joy behind the smile, and a happy gleam in his eyes. “Make me.”
Gepard rolls his eyes and reaches up.
Turns out Sampo is a lot easier to deal with when his mouth is occupied by more useful things.
[REQUEST FOR 2 WEEKS’ LEAVE]
Date: 25 Jedna, 707 AF
For: Gepard Landau, Captain
Via: Serval Landau
Requester’s note: Bronya please give my brother’s stupid ass some PTO so he can relax and hang out with his new boyfriend
[STATUS: APPROVED]
Supreme Guardian’s note: Congratulations! Take some time off and stop overworking yourself when you come back!