Chapter Text
This was not supposed to have happened.
But, perhaps—Wei Wuxian considered—if he didn't have such an unyielding and alarming propensity for chaos and messing with the forces of fate, he wouldn’t be putting himself in such…untenable situations.
If only he would just let nature take its natural course.
If only he had let himself die in the Burial Mounds when Wen Chao had thrown him into its pits of resentment—then he wouldn’t be hated by the world.
If only he had let the resentment kill him—then he wouldn’t know how to use it to control the undead.
If only he could just stop his own mind from wandering into dangerous theories and territories—then he wouldn’t be waking up and finding brand new anatomy on his body.
“Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian, what have you done…” he whispered, imploring himself.
In his barely lit room—suffused with the cold morning air—Wei Wuxian looked down upon himself, bewildered at the sight of perky, steadily leaking breasts on his chest. The smallish, rounded masses felt full, their heaviness something strange on his usually unencumbered flat chest.
Wei Wuxian stared with widened eyes as a cloudy liquid dribbled down from his dusty pink nipples before it disappeared from sight at the soft curve of his breasts; the liquid creating a ticklish trail as it slid down his flat stomach, toward his navel, before pooling at his pelvis and drenching the waistband of his trousers.
Hesitantly, with wary bony fingers, Wei Wuxian traced the wet path of the milky substance until he reached his pubic area, his heart beating up a storm, wild with trepidation at what he ultimately knew he would discover.
Somewhere in the rocky cave, there was a languid drip, drip, drip of water droplets that accompanied the sound of his loud, shaky breathing. His racing mind decided to use the noise as a temporary means of distraction from his current predicament, but after some time, Wei Wuxian focused back to the matter at hand, thickly swallowing the heaviness of emotions sitting in his throat as he pressed down where his cock should be but…
He felt nothing.
…
He felt nothing but smoothness.
Wei Wuxian inhaled sharply as he lifted the waistband of his pants to investigate, only to yelp and quickly push the waistband back down, hyperventilating when he was greeted by a softly curving, fleshy mound—
No, that couldn’t be right.
He looked again, but it was still the same.
Wei Wuxian blinked his eyes rapidly—as if hoping that would correct the wrong he was seeing—and he lifted the waistband of his pants once more but it was still the same.
“…”
Wei Wuxian sat there in silent shock, his mouth slightly agape as he mentally absorbed the moment before he shot out of his cot—all leaking breasts and cockless; his long limbs trembling from the sudden onslaught of panic as he ran to the entrance of the tunnel in his room that lead to the main cave to go find Wen Qing.
She—She would know if he was okay, right?!
Fuck!
Before reaching the entrance of the cave, Wei Wuxian abruptly paused, his face burning hotter and redder than his favorite chili peppers when he realized he had breasts! He couldn’t walk out without covering them!
Stupid, stupid, stupid…
Wei Wuxian’s bare feet slapped sharply against the cold, pebbled ground as he raced back to his cot where he grabbed his wrinkled robes, shoving his arms through the sleeves with a great sense of urgency.
He was shaking so hard—and not from the cold—as he covered himself up, tying the robes excessively tight so that absolutely everything but his neck was hidden from view.
He gazed down and inspected himself, only to smack his forehead in annoyance, groaning in frustration when he realized that all he'd done was make his breasts look even more pronounced with how tight he had tied his robes. And to make matters worse, the persistently leaking milk had begun to soak through the material!
Great! These were just washed! Wei Wuxian whined.
Only when he had figured out how to carefully, but not so obviously, conceal his breasts—his breasts!—by pulling his robes loose enough to hide them, did he walk out in search of Wen Qing who would for sure strangle all the air out of him.
He could already hear the ass-chewing he was going to receive:
Wei Wuxian! What the hell did you get yourself into now?! And right before the start of winter when I need my supply of medicine the most?! I should use these needles and put you to sleep. Maybe then you’ll stay out of trouble!
Ha! As if tiny needles could ever dissuade trouble from finding him!
…Although, he would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was quite fearful of Wen Qing’s reaction to his latest shenanigan.
Heaven only knew how much anger that woman was capable of containing.
Wei Wuxian stepped out of the darkness of his cave and into the morning light. The ever-present clouds that ensconced the Burial Mounds were there—because they were always fucking there—hiding the sun from view; menacing and a dark gray. Gloomy and threatening, making the already cool air feel even colder, and with every huff of air, he could see the vapor in front of him.
The trees hadn't even finished shedding the last of their leaves and it was already colder than what they had been expecting this time of year. Wei Wuxian withered internally. They were more than likely in for an early start to winter, and if it was already this cold now, it probably meant that the following season could potentially be brutal for them.
He could only hope that spring was merciful enough to arrive early, too.
Aiyah, it would only be fair.
Some of the more elderly Wen were already up and about their day, waving their hands at Wei Wuxian as he tried to surreptitiously dash past them in search of Wen Qing.
Wei Wuxian searched and searched for Wen Qing to no avail, until he stumbled upon Wen Popo who informed him that Wen Qing and Wen Ning had gone to tend a patient for the day.
Just my luck, Wei Wuxian pouted pathetically.
“Granny,” he began, his voice tight and constrained. “Do you know what time they might be back?”
Wen Popo shook her head, and his panic soared towards the high heavens, joining the ravens circling the Burial Mounds high above.
He wouldn’t be able to see the only physician he trusted until she came back, and who knew when that would be!
He had to breathe. He had to breathe or else he would pass out!
Calm down, Wei Wuxian. You have got to calm down. You’ve been through so much worse! So much worse! This can’t possibly be that bad, right?!
Wei Wuxian absentmindedly turned around, staring at the twisted, bare branches of blackened trees in the distance. A frown marring his already troubled face.
He was so lost in thought that he failed to notice his little radish walking by, fat shiny tears trailing down his slightly sunken cheeks. A terrible shrill cry pierced the air, breaking Wei Wuxian’s desperate rumination as he turned to look at the pitiful sight of A-Yuan crying and clutching at his belly with his little fists.
“Oh dear, he’s hungry.” Wen Popo sighed remorsefully. Her countenance overcome with a deep, grave sadness, her wrinkled hands reaching out for A-Yuan.
She couldn’t do anything for A-Yuan but watch him sniffle and starve.
Wei Wuxian’s heart broke at the sight of them.
Their last harvest had failed to yield much. The soil had grown fatigued, and they had been left to rely on the back-up stock of food that they had saved in case of any emergency.
But with one look around at all the people here, it wasn't hard to deny that they were struggling with the meager rations of food they had. The Wens and himself were hardly eating from the supplies as it was, desperately trying to save as much food as possible. For weeks, they'd been eating only once a day, paltry portions that could hardly be called a meal, but it was the only way to ensure everyone had something to eat.
They were trying their best to survive.
Wei Wuxian looked at A-Yuan, his heart hurting at the image before him.
…But no matter how hard they may try, a child needed more than the miserable servings of radishes and little spoonfuls of congee they managed to have.
Children needed nutrients. They needed more food that made them stronger and helped them grow.
Wei Wuxian felt more milk leak out of his breasts as A-Yuan cried harder, the hunger in his little belly painful and unrelenting.
He would know how debilitating that type of pain was from his own personal experience as a once famished child.
Wei Wuxian briefly looked at his chest before looking back at A-Yuan. A-Yuan’s hunger, his need for actual sustenance, was the reason why he was in this predicament in the first place.
It was not unusual to hear the child crying for food at all hours of the day as his belly growled with anger, his stomach twisting with painful hunger pangs. During those moments, A-Yuan would seek refuge in his Xian-gege’s arms until he fell asleep from exhaustion.
For weeks Wei Wuxian had wracked his brain on how to provide more food for him. In a moment of desperation, he had even thought of going to the clans to beg for mercy, to ask if they could spare his little radish the punishment and hate. That he was just a baby, a small child, blameless and innocent, who shouldn’t be reproached or vilified for his name when he was just a baby. He hadn't even been born when Wen Rouhan had started his reign of terror against the cultivation world.
“Xian-gege!” A-Yuan screamed in anger, in desperation. “Want Xian-gege!” His little body twisted in Wen Popo’s arms as his cries reached the sky above, and that’s all it took for Wei Wuxian to scoop him up into his own skinny arms.
“I got you, little guy. I got you. Shh, Xian-gege’s here, okay?” He kissed the soft hair on A-Yuan’s head, cradling him against his chest.
He turned towards Wen Popo with inquisitive eyes, nodding once with his head in the direction of his cave, wordlessly asking her if he could take A-Yuan with him.
Wen Popo nodded with a distant look on her face, and Wei Wuxian gave her a tiny smile, thankful that Wen Popo hadn't made any comments about his body.
Perhaps her poor eyesight was to thank for.
He swiftly walked all the way back into the privacy of his cave and sat down on his cot.
A-Yuan’s screaming had quieted down to tiny, pitiful sobs that were tearing his heart apart.
In the distance, Wei Wuxian’s silver eyes landed on his messy worktable. Cinnabar and talisman paper were haphazardly strewn everywhere. His inventions and failed projects were thrown about into messy piles here and there, and in the middle of his worktable, he could also see that large forsaken yellow talisman paper. Its crispy, blackened edges burnt as the marks painted with his own blood glowed a dark muted red.
The radicals and characters on the talisman had been diligently drawn in an attempt to make one effective spell: a fertility talisman to help make the soil more fertile.
He had thought that it could help in giving the land around the Burial Mounds the ability to grow and produce more food.
Wei Wuxian had started working on this talisman with a gnawing and desperate sense of urgency after noticing his little radish had started losing baby fat and the roundness of his cheeks. For many restless and harrowing weeks, he had watched A-Yuan begin appearing more and more famished as Wei Wuxian raced against time that A-Yuan did not have.
He had felt the heavy weight of failure with each time he failed to produce anything of use, and Wei Wuxian had sequestered himself in his cave for weeks, unwilling to accept defeat nor failure—and last night he had a breakthrough.
Wei Wuxian had infused the fertility talisman with so much resentful energy—siphoned through the Yin Tiger Tally—that it had left him in a pathetic, weakened state. And like most nights, in an attempt to quell his own starvation, he had requested a veritable amount of Uncle Four’s fruit wine to be at his disposal.
He remembered drinking jar after jar. He remembered emptying each one, frustrated when his hunger failed to abate.
Wei Wuxian had just wanted to stop feeling so hungry.
…He must have had more alcohol than he remembered whilst creating the talisman because he couldn’t remember what exact conclusion he had come to in order to create it, but it must have been absolutely groundbreaking if it had resulted in him having such maidenly attributes…
Wei Wuxian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
—but at the end of the day, all his efforts had been for the little boy in his arms. His sleepless nights thinking about how to feed A-Yuan had led to this, and if his mistake could immediately alleviate A-Yuan’s pain, then he would take full advantage of it no matter the cost to himself.
“Are you hungry, baby boy?” Wei Wuxian cradled A-Yuan to his chest. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this, my little radish.” A-Yuan sniffled, desperately clinging harder to him—the boy already accustomed to having to withstand his hunger pains.
Wei Wuxian opened his robes and sure enough his breasts felt too full and painfully heavy, like they needed to be relieved from the excess build-up of milk.
“A-Yuan, come on. Xian-gege’s gonna feed you now.” A-Yuan inquisitively looked at his bare chest before latching onto one of his breasts, bringing it to his little mouth with what must be muscle memory and making Wei Wuxian hiss and yelp at the painful and odd feeling of his nipple being tugged.
He winced and clenched his teeth in pain at the tugging of his nipple until he looked down at A-Yuan who was feeding with such desperation that it stilled Wei Wuxian in place.
Tears were spilling from A-Yuan’s eyes, and tiny little whines left him, but for the first time in months, A-Yuan was filling his belly until his little heart’s content.
His talisman—however malfunctioning and wrong it may be—was working! Even if it was only benefitting A-Yuan, it was still a success in his book.
Wei Wuxian ran a gentle hand through A-Yuan’s hair as his little radish fed from him, his little eyes closing in contentment while Wei Wuxian hummed that tune that has always helped calm him down.
That nameless, mysterious tune.
After a while, A-Yuan weaned off his right breast after drinking all the milk it held, and he whined at the loss of food before Wei Wuxian gently shushed him, switching him to his other breast where A-yuan greedily drank up the milk there, too.
After he was done, Wei Wuxian placed him so that they were chest to chest, A-Yuan’s little head draped onto his shoulder as he lightly bounced him until he was peacefully chuffing in his sleep—his little belly now perfectly round and full.
Emotions welled up within Wei Wuxian.
It had been a long time since A-Yuan had a full belly.
Wei Wuxian laid his baby boy down on his cot, draping him with his threadbare blanket, tenderly kissing his forehead.
He had messed up. He knew that, but Wei Wuxian thought that out of all his failures and mistakes, this one had to be ruled satisfactory.
There was one less hungry child because he had decided to take matters into his own hands to find a way through the impossible.
He had bent the will of nature to his favor and because of it, he was able to provide more than just a place to live for A-Yuan, but also much needed nutrition for his growing body.
That night in the paltry comfort of his cave, Wei Wuxian ventured to explore his new body.
He touched his breasts, sensing the relief and how unburdened they felt after feeding A-Yuan for lunch and dinner.
His little radish had gone to bed satisfied, and Wen Popo had been ecstatic to see the little boy sleeping peacefully with a quiet belly. She hadn’t questioned it, and Wei Wuxian was evermore grateful for it.
Seriously, how could he explain what was happening to him to the Wens? Many people loved to call him shameless—Lan Zhan’s handsome voice resounded in his head at the thought—but his face wasn't thick enough to endure the embarrassment!
Wei Wuxian had decided to try and keep this a secret for as long as the effects of the talisman lasted—for A-Yuan’s benefit. (And if he also wanted to keep it a secret that he had fully functioning breasts as a man, then that was his prerogative, thank you very much!)
Before disrobing, Wei Wuxian quietly walked around and extinguished the flame of each candle, one by one, his blood rushing with what he was about to do.
The warm glow that had been suffusing the dark rocky walls of his room withered away until he was left standing in darkness—except for the tiny sliver of pale moonlight that washed over him, pouring in through a small opening above him.
Once he was left in the darkness, Wei Wuxian peeled back the layers of clothing, undressing himself and letting the cold air permeating the cave kiss his bare skin. A frisson passed through him, the hair on his body standing, and he threw his robes at the end of his cot.
As he laid down, Wei Wuxian looked down at himself—at the fleshy mound that had replaced his member. Anticipation coursed through his body, and he got comfortable and finally slid his shaky hand down there, feeling the patch of soft hair that covered the new area.
For all his shameless flirting and pretending to be well-versed in the art of pleasures of the flesh, Wei Wuxian had never seen such a private part of a woman. He didn’t know what one looked like in real life except for the depictions in spring books, but still, those drawings didn’t hold a candle to seeing and feeling the real thing.
Wei Wuxian spread his legs wider, his heart beating faster as he slid his hand further down the path of hair until he was met with a slit. He paused for a moment, swallowing the lump of anticipation down, and spreading the divided flesh until he felt the cool air of the cave caress the delicate warmth he found there.
He was using both of his hands now, his left one holding one side of his slit open, and the right one exploring downwards to the awaiting warmth. He slid his fingers across it all and he gasped as he brushed past a nub at the top of his vagina.
Wei Wuxian’s face burned as he pressed down onto the nub, letting the pleasurable sensation jolt through his body, leaving him completely breathless and shocked. He continued this until he finally stopped hesitating and actually started rubbing.
Wei Wuxian felt his groin tighten with pleasure and need—little moans escaping his parted lips.
It felt so fucking good.
Something slick met his fingertips, and Wei Wuxian brought his fingers to his face to investigate. With what little he could see, a liquid coated his fingertips, the substance leaving a connected trail between his fingers when he spread them apart, and Wei Wuxian reached back down to touch his clit with more certainty and less restraint. With his fingers now wet, the pleasure with which he was struck with was so intense it made his toes curl and his back arch in ecstasy.
The wetness created a slick slide, intensifying the amount of pleasure he was feeling, and Wei Wuxian could do little to hold back his moans as his long fingers sought more and more of that wetness to use.
He felt his fingers get thoroughly soaked, his pussy tightening as he quickened the pace of his fingers.
Wei Wuxian firmly pressed down on his clit with each circular motion, finding that his body tensed and his limbs trembled when he did.
With hesitance, he reached down towards his entrance; curious and testing the opening—teasing it slowly with apprehension—but he felt something in the way. Like there was something preventing him from continuing further especially when he felt a strong jolt of discomfort.
Wei Wuxian decided to forgo further exploration there, focusing back to his clit until he was moaning again, writhing on top of his cot with his legs so spread apart it was lewd and obscene.
His mind conjured up an image of him being devoured by that mysterious person that had stolen his first kiss. The way they had pinned him down to the tree, the rough bark scratching his skin as a tongue explored his mouth with so much passion and fervor, as they bit down on his bottom lip and eliciting tears from his blindfolded eyes.
He remembered their tongues sliding against one another, wet and hot, and he felt more wetness slide down toward his ass. Wei Wuxian thought back to the way his wrists had been held over his head by a strong hand, while the other had held his face with tenderness. A juxtaposition that still drove him wild when he thought about it.
Wei Wuxian was so aroused, his back was arching off the ground, his breaths were short and rapid, and his heart was thundering with abandon in his chest.
The obscene, wet noises his pussy was making made his arousal burn hotter, fire pooled in his abdomen until it felt like he was being consumed—as if flames were licking his skin. Like it was devouring him until he couldn't think of anything else but this.
He felt himself on that precipice, his body tightening like a taut bowstring, his legs trembling against his will, and a light sheen of sweat coated his warm skin.
Wei Wuxian moved his fingers downwards just a bit, discovering that the pleasure in that particular spot was too great to handle—and it tipped him over the edge.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gasped through a tight jaw, his teeth clenched, his breathing crescendoing into short gasps as he reached a mind-shattering orgasm.
His pussy clenched and unclenched in an exhilarating rhythmic motion, his clit now too sensitive to touch as involuntary spasms coursed through his entire body.
Distantly, he realized there was a ringing in his ears, and his hearing was muffled as if he was somewhere very far away.
Wei Wuxian laid there for a while in that euphoric state until he started coming back to himself.
…
That had been—Wei Wuxian inhaled a deep breath—one of the most exhilarating experiences he had ever had in his life…
Wei Wuxian got up on wobbly limbs, using a rag to clean the mess in between his legs. He used some of his collected rainwater in a water bowl to wash his hands with a paste before putting on his trousers and a robe and landing on his cot completely spent and exhausted.