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The thing is.
The thing is….
The thing is that Martin knows it's a stupid question. And, somewhat remarkably, it's not his self-esteem issues that tell him that this time. It’s just that it's an objectively stupid question. And Martin knows that. He also knows that asking Jon about it will have one of two outcomes- laughter or spiraling into what could potentially be an anxiety attack.
He just can't stop thinking about it. Which is silly, it was just a stupid meme but his mind wanders to it anytime he's not directly focused on anything. And everything reminds him of it somehow.
"Martin?" Jon calls softly from the living room. "Are you alright? You usually don't take this long to make tea."
Oh. Right. He'd gone into the kitchen to make their afternoon tea nearly ten minutes ago. And gotten distracted by…. something that made him think of that stupid meme.
"Y-yes Jon, I'm alright. Sorry, I must've gotten distracted. Two cups of tea, coming right up!" Martin laughed nervously as Jon made his way into the kitchen, coming up to hug Martin from behind.
"Are you sure you're alright, darling? You don't usually get stuck like that unless something happens." Jon asked from where he's tucked his head into Martin's neck. He's not wrong either. In the aftermath of their arrival in their new world they had a long journey to feeling as if they could function somewhat normally again.
"I'm fine, Jon," Martin sighs, leaning his head back onto Jon's shoulder. "I'm sorry I worried you, nothing happened I was just thinking about something."
"And what was it that had you thinking so hard? Jon asked.
"It's nothing Jon, just a stupid thing I saw." Martin insisted as he poured water into their cups and passed Jon his.
"Martin we've discussed this, if it interests you it's not stupid and I would be delighted to hear about it." Jon reminded him, moving back to the living room to settle on the couch.
"Yes, Jon, I know but it genuinely was just a stupid thing we don't need to talk about it," Martin insisted as he sat down opposite his partner.
"Martin."
"Jon."
"Martin."
"Jon."
They sit in silence for a few moments, sipping their tea.
"…please tell me? I don't like it when you keep things from me. Even if you think they're not important." And if that isn't just a sucker punch to Martin's heart. He forgets sometimes, when things are going well, how much work it's taken to get where they are. The mistrust and paranoia Jon used to live with that made them promise to communicate early on in their relationship.
"Fine." Martin sighed. "Fine, just fine but you need to know that this is just a surface level question and there is absolutely no deeper meaning to it whatsoever."
"Yes, Martin, I understand now will you please tell me distracted you so much from making tea of all things."
"Okay. Okay. So I saw this thing online the other day and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it for days," Martin begins.
"Alright, and? What was it?" Jon prods.
Martin takes a deep breath, turning to look Jon in the eyes as he asks, "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
He can't recall if he's ever seen Jon almost spit out his tea but the full-bellied laugh he lets out once he swallows is more than worth the time spent wondering.