Archive of Our Own

His eyes snapped to the snoring figure beside him. King Dimitar. He's soooooo hot when he's sleeping, Fintan thought. 

Fintan rolled over and realized his stomach had gotten huge! What happened last night?? Did he somehow became pregnant? It coullsnt be because he's a guy elf. 

Memories of the previous night slithered back to him. Dimitar had suggested using some special microbes to “enhance” the “experience.” it had certainly been an experience all right. 

It must have been the microbes they'd used last night. Nothing else made sense. He poked his stomach before turning to Dimitar and woke him up violently. 

“DIMITAR WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! IS THIS SOME SORT OF PARASITE?” Fintan yelled, it took longer than expected to wake him up. 

Dimitar's eyes snapped open, sitting upright, and his mouth gaped at Fintan's huge stomach. “I don't know, no ones ever used those kinds of sex enhancing microbes on an elf before.” 

“I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THIS THING IS!!!” Fintan was now rolling around in the bed hysterically. 

“Calm down, my little kitten, I'm sure it's fine.” Dimitar rolled his eyes, getting out of bed. 

Fintan's fat ass fell off the bed, and he knocked his head on a nightstand. He groaned in pain. 

“I'll have our doctors check that wound, and that uh… that thing.” 

Dimitar picked Fintan up bride style, he looked so small in his huge sexy muscular arms. It almost felt like everything was gonna be okay. Fintan snuggled closer to Dimitar's body heat and sighed. 

Suddenly, Fintan was being put in a bed. Someone else came in and talked quietly to Dimitar. 

An unfamiliar ogre voice said, “Hmm… yes he is, in fact, pregnant.” 

Fintan gasped and then Dimitar gaspedn then you gasped. (This is the part where you gasp.) 

“Don't tell anyone about this.” Fintan said to the ogre doctor. 

“Yeah, or else.” Dimitar glared at the doctor. The ogre then left with a pale face. 

What should I do? The other Neverseen members will notice. Fintan thought about Gisela’s reaction but couldn't picture it. 

Dimitar thought for a moment. “Don't go there then, stay here.” Fintan hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud. 

“Nah, but I got shit to do. World to conquer. Things to burn.” Fintan stood up but it was harder than anticipated. 

Dimitar put his hands on Fintan to steady him. Fintan shoved him off though. “I can walk just fine on my own!” 

Dimitar grunted and handed him a cup. “At least drink some water.” 

He chugged it, it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. Fintsn moaned “more water.” 

Dimitar gave him more water and Fintan churgged it until he felt sick. “Urghh…” he collapsed back onto the bed. However, Dimitar brought him back to his room. “Rest here, no one will find you. I'll come back later, I have a meeting.” 

Dimitar then kissed Fintan with his hot juicy lips!!!! And then moaned. (Everyone moans when they kiss I'm sure) “Okay…” Fintan's eyelids grew heavy and passed out because he had overdosed on SEXINESS (dimitar) 

Fintan woke up again, this time drenched in sweat because he had a weird dream that he had goteen prregrnt and oh shit it wasn't a dream. 

Welp… guess I'll head back to the Neverseem now. Fintan thought. 

But before he could open the door, he heard an angry whispering outside. He recognized one of them as Dimitar and the other one was… Fintan’s other boyfriend Gethen?!?!? What is he doing here? How did he find me? Did he find out I'm dating Dimitar? Fintan’s thoughts raced and his heart pounded. It was hard to hear what they were saying. 

“Have you seen where Fintan went? I really need to talk to him.” 

“He's in there, but don't go in, he's really sick.” 

“Yeah I know he's mentally sick, that's what I love about him.” Fintan could practically hear Gethen's eyes roll. 

“That's not what I meant. And what do you mean you love him??” the door barged open as Gethen swept in wearing his Neverseen cloak. He looked super duper ssxy in it so much so that Fintan almost organismed. 

He took one look at Fintan's stomach and screamed. “What happened to you?” 

Dimitar walked in behind him and closed the door. “He's sick as I said. Now answer my question.” 

“No, Gethen deserves the truth…” Fintan took a deep breath. “I'm pregndtnt.” 

“How and with who? Did you cheat on me?” Gethen was yelling now. 

Fintan winced as Dimitar gave him the world's deadliest glare. “Excuse me??? Cheat on you?” 

Fintan realized where this was going. “Uh guys chill out.” 

“No, explain to me what's going on here!” Dimitar looked ready to kill someone. Because he was. 

Gethen realized angering an ogre king probably isn't a good idea. “You will explain this to me later, Fintan!” He light leaped away. 

Dimitar glared at Fintan, wanting him to explian. “Well, I have to go now too, bye!” Fintan said before running off. 

He turned the corner and light leaped to a random Neverseen hideout. Fintan ran to find something to set on fire, unfortunately he bumped into someone even more bitchy than him. 

Gisela looked him up and down and said “erm what the sigma? what happened to you?” 

“I’m peragante.” 

Gisela leaves before he finishes because she doesn't care like a true girlboss. 

“Whatever.” It's not like Fitnan cared about her opinion anyway. 

Fintan decided he should go to his other, third, more reluctant boyfriend, the entire Council. The entire Council was his boyfriends and or girlfriends, they just didn't want to admit it. He could tell in the way they looked at him. With that dreamy angry look in their eyes. The same way Bronte looks at him when Fintan annoys him. (Lmao adding in fintante cuz I love them) Fintan had all the bitches, and since the entire Council was a bitch he owned them. 

Fintan knocked on Bronte’s jewel encrusted castle door. Bronteopensed the door, sees Finttan and his situation, they stare at each other in complete silence, finally Bronte spoke, interrupting Fintans inner bitchiness. "nah, I'm not doing this today.” He slammed the door in his face. 

“Harsh. Doesn't even help a pregernt elf.” Fintan pouted, he then strode into the Council meeting looking hot and dangerous, and barked like a dog and started a cock fight. (With chickens, and they're betting on who wins. What sort of nasty thing were you thinking?) (Oralie won the cock fight as always.) 

Afterwards Fintan realized he could visit Vespera. She's experimented on humans, he bet she would know a thing or two. 

Fintan found Vespera and explained his situation. She isn't even phased, more curious than anything. 

“Mind if I do some tests?” Vespera asked, looking like a vampire fiending for blood. 

“Sure.” Nothing could possibly go wrong! Fintan thought. 

Fintan was chilling (burning random shit) as per usual when he realized the baby was coming. He screamed very manly, then ran to Vesperq's lab, where Vespera was being herself most likely. 

After a very not intense birth since elves are calm births, even for dude elves, apparently. Though Vespera did help deliver it, for science. Fintan gazed upon his child for the first time. 

The baby's skin was like half ogre, half elf, (I forgot what ogres looked like and I'm too lazy to look it up) his ears were already pointed like an ogres. He had Fintan's super sexy sky blue eyes. 

“It's hideous!” Fintan tossed the baby into the trash epic style. 

“Wow… it's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.” Fintan cooed at the baby. “I'll name you… Fintan Jr. With your middle name being Dimitar, or Everblaze. Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren. Best name ever.” 

“That name sucks.” Vespera almost wanted to kidnap the baby, for science, also maybe because she thought Fintan would make an absolutely atrocious parent. As if she would be any better. 

“Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try to come up with a better name! Plus it's my kid! Not yours!” Fintan held the baby away from her. 

Then Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren spoke his first words, “is she not my mom?” but his voice was lost in their bickering. He sighed. 

While they argued, the elf-ogre baby gazed into Fintan's absolutely gorgeous breathe taking eyes, and Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren instinctively knew that his life would be… interesting to say the least. Then Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren decided to poop his pants. 

Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren (known by all of his friends as freaky fintan) walked down the halls of Foxfire to the cafeteria, nobody has gotten used to his skin so he wore lots of clothing and drank elixirs for his insecurity. He ignored everyone's glares. 

His two best friends sat alone at the edge of a table. “What's up Fin?” They called but he didn't hear, he had a crazy annoying fever. Fin told them, “I'm going to the healing center.” 

“Okay.” They responded. 

Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren walked into the healing center. Elwin asked him what's wrong and he answered “fever.” After Elwin checked it he told him to go home and drink these elixirs. 

He light leaped home and his dad Fintan asked annoyedly, “Why are you home early?” and he said he was sick, maybe his genetics had finally decided to give up. 

Fintan checked Fin's doctor's note and sent him to his room. Fin sighed and sat at the edge of his bed, he looked at his hands, the skin unlike anyone else's. Suddenly, he noticed his hands had flames on them, maybe his dad was pranking him. 

“Arghh!” He screamed running around then went downstairs. “Daddd! Don't set me on fire!” 

Fintan looked at him confused then saw his hands. He extinguished them. “It wasn't me.” He sighed. “What were you doing in your room?” 

“Nothing! It just happened!” Fin glared at his hands which then set on fire again, nothing else had caught fire since Fintan had made his house fireproof. 

“Oh My Gosh!”! Fintan giggled like a maniacal schoolgirl. “Did you manifest as a pyrokinetic?” 

Fintan Jr. Dimitar Everblaze Pyren realized he could control the flames. “Omg yay!” 

“Now we can go do some gay I mean burn shit together like a family.”