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Beomgyu is over for the first time in a week — Kai is seeing Beomgyu in the flesh for the first time in seven days.
They had both been busy individually with their own work and the demanding duties of the adult world. But today is Saturday, Beomgyu came over for breakfast, and now it’s bordering near dinner time. The plan is to have a weekend-long sleepover, and Kai really couldn’t be happier.
“What should we do for dinner?” Beomgyu asks. He’s sitting on the floor in front of where Kai is lounging on his couch. His boyfriend is crouched over a Lego set that Kai started two weeks ago and never got around to finishing. He knows Beomgyu won’t finish it either, but he appreciates the effort.
Kai watches as Beomgyu pauses, looking over his shoulder to fix Kai with an eyebrow-raised stare. “When was the last time you did your groceries?”
“Let’s order Chinese,” Kai supplies instead of directly answering the question. He grins sheepishly when Beomgyu rolls his eyes, clearly unimpressed that Kai has yet again forgotten a week without restocking his produce. “I promise I’ll go on Monday after work,” he quells.
“Or we go tomorrow morning, so that I can actually hold you to it,” Beomgyu counters. He gives up on the Lego, and turns around to stare up at Kai. “For someone with a big finance job, you really aren’t self-sufficient.”
“Hey!” Kai feels only mildly offended, but can’t really be hurt — he himself doesn’t know what he’d do without Beomgyu. And they’ve only been dating for a bit over a year. “Don’t be mean. You haven’t seen me all week, you can’t be mean to me.”
“You are a big baby,” Beomgyu smiles. He gets up from the floor, very happily falling into Kai’s lap. He pecks the pout right off the younger’s face. “Don’t sulk.”
“I am not sulking,” Kai says, as he sulks. He even sniffs about, wrapping his arms around Beomgyu’s waist and preening when he begins running his fingers through his hair. “You want fried chicken too?”
Beomgyu squirms happily at the mention.
“Yes please!”
Kai smiles warmly, watching as Beomgyu takes his phone out to begin placing the order. He watches, takes in Beomgyu’s soft ash hair, the glasses perched low on his nose. Kai finds one of his hands coming to push them up before he knows it, a force of habit.
It distracts Beomgyu enough that he looks up from his phone screen. He seems to realize only then that their faces are extremely close together, given that he stares for a couple seconds before tossing his phone aside and leaning in even closer.
Their noses brush.
“I did miss you,” Beomgyu whispers. He’s looking into Kai’s eyes, going the slightest bit cross-eyed. Beomgyu is so cute. “If I could, I would see you every single day, Kai-yah.”
Kai has to kiss him about it. Just a slow, gentle peck, before pulling back far enough to speak.
“I missed you too,” he assures. Then he kisses Beomgyu again, because he’s making up for the past seven days. “How about you just never leave, hm?”
Beomgyu laughs this time, a loud sound that makes Kai’s heart throb in his chest. He can’t stop looking at Beomgyu — the crinkle by his eyes as he laughs, the upwards curve of his mouth, the column of his throat as he throws his head back.
Beomgyu is so gorgeous.
“I wish,” he finally says, locking eyes with Kai again. It doesn’t last long though, seeing as he leans in for another kiss. Maybe Beomgyu is also making up for the past week. “I missed you,” he repeats.
Kai is no better than letting himself indulge in Beomgyu, which is why he hums into their kiss, leaning back some until he can rest comfortably against the couch cushions. Doing so makes Beomgyu slide further into his lap, but it’s not like either of them have a problem with that.
Just when Kai thinks it’s the right time to let his hand fall from Beomgyu’s waist to his ass, the latter breaks their kiss out of nowhere.
“Oh! I wanted to show you this!” Beomgyu says excitedly, almost falling off Kai’s lap in his haste to grab his phone. “We should totally get the IU tickets going on sale next week. I went almost two years ago and she’s so good,” he babbles, reminding Kai that Beomgyu did send an Instagram post of IU announcing her new tour a couple days ago.
Kai can’t see his phone screen, not yet, so he uses the time it takes Beomgyu to find what he’s looking for to trace his eyes over all of his features. Kai could tell you every little thing about Beomgyu in his sleep, but that doesn’t mean he’s gotten tired of looking at it all.
He’s staring at Beomgyu’s right eyebrow when his boyfriend finally shows him the phone.
“Scroll through these videos,” he instructs. Kai doesn’t really need convincing to go see IU, but he appreciates Beomgyu’s enthusiasm, nonetheless. And he also won’t rain on his parade, so Kai takes the phone and indulges Beomgyu by watching a couple concert videos, and admiring the pictures. Apparently, Beomgyu had really good seats at this concert.
Some of the concert videos include Beomgyu’s own loud voice in the audio, but other than that, Kai is just watching IU perform perfectly, as he knows she does.
He’s scrolling through a few photos, making little comments here and there, before he seems to have scrolled a bit too far.
Well, he knows he’s scrolled too far, and Beomgyu seems to know it too, because he tenses in Kai’s lap, eyes widening as he clearly understands what video Kai has landed upon.
“Say it,” a voice that is unfortunately not completely foreign to Kai rings through the room. It’s not the only noise though, since alongside the voice, there is the gasping sound of Beomgyu’s breath.
This is something Kai knows the sound of extremely well. He just always forgets that Choi Yeonjun knows the sound as well.
“I’m a whore!” Beomgyu’s sobbing voice is heard admitting through the video. “I’m Yeonjun hyung’s—”
“Okay!” Real-life Beomgyu shrieks, ripping his phone out of Kai’s hand and immediately locking the device. The sound of video Yeonjun and video Beomgyu’s moans dies as the screen goes black, but Kai — unfortunately — doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget the sound of his boyfriend moaning for another man even if he tried.
His cheeks are pink, undoubtedly embarrassed about what transpired in the past ten seconds. He’s stiff as a board in Kai’s lap, which is something that has, quite literally, never happened before. He also can’t look Kai in the eyes, which says a lot, especially considering how Kai can’t help but stare right at him.
“I—” Beomgyu begins, but cuts himself off because evidently, what do you even say after this? Kai had just stumbled upon a sex tape that Beomgyu filmed with his ex-boyfriend. Pinpricks of mortified heat prickle the nape of his neck, and he’s left to squirm as he finds something to say. Anything to say.
Kai saves Beomgyu from having to wrack for the right words by reaching for Beomgyu’s phone. The latter doesn’t put up a fight, but he does make a confused sound when Kai begins unlocking the device.
Just like how Beomgyu knows how to get into Kai’s phone, Kai knows how to get into Beomgyu’s. And when the screen unlocks, the first thing that Kai sees is a shot of Beomgyu’s fucked out face scrunched in mindless pleasure, his head held up with the help of — what looks to be — Yeonjun’s unforgiving grip in his at-the-time red hair.
At the sight, Kai’s lips purse, and the saliva in his mouth sours.
Kai knows Yeonjun — they went to the same high school. They all went to the same high school, actually — Beomgyu, Yeonjun, and Kai. Yeonjun had always been older, and Kai only really got to see him during one year of high school, before the older graduated. But for the remaining three years Kai was there, he would hear of Yeonjun constantly.
He was popular because he was handsome, kind, and involved in extracurriculars. And because he was known to abstain from dating despite his numerous admirers. Kai wouldn’t say that he has had a crush on Beomgyu since his freshman year of high school — because even that is a little too pathetic for Kai — but one of his earliest memories of Beomgyu is watching him confess to Yeonjun after school, and getting (politely, if he must admit) rejected by the senior.
So you could imagine Kai’s surprise when he gets to university, finds out Beomgyu and Yeonjun go to the same one, and then finds out that they’re dating. It was just Kai’s luck, really — the second he accepts that he might have begun harbouring feelings for Beomgyu, the latter is dating someone that he’s liked since high school.
Beomgyu’s relationship didn’t deter Kai away from being his friend, though. And as the motions went: Yeonjun and Beomgyu were dating for a bit over three years, they broke up — something which Kai had consoled Beomgyu through — Kai patiently waited eight months for Beomgyu to get over his relationship, and then finally confessed the feelings he had been harbouring for years, at that point.
The ending to their story is happily ever after. Kai knows there’s no looming threat of Yeonjun — not anymore, and not in the way Kai had perceived throughout his entire university career. Yet still, knowing all of this doesn’t stop the flare of possessiveness which spikes in his chest. Beomgyu is his boyfriend, and has been for quite some time now, but seeing the physical reminder that, at one point — and for a long time — Beomgyu belonged to Choi Yeonjun, Kai can feel the complicated emotions swirling inside of him.
“Kai-yah,” Beomgyu croaks, clearly perturbed about the way Kai is just staring at the paused video on screen. Most definitely also perturbed by how Kai hasn’t said anything yet. “Let’s just—”
“A whore, huh?” Kai interrupts, finally blinking up and ripping his eyes off the screen. His boyfriend startles, never having heard the word fall from Kai’s mouth before.
The Beomgyu in front of him doesn’t look anything like the one freeze-framed. This Beomgyu is wearing his glasses with ash-grey hair; and the Beomgyu on screen has a tangled mess of red hair on his head with his eyes — and face — wet with tears.
When Kai really looks at him, he can see that Beomgyu’s ears are pink where they’re peeking through his hair. Before he knows what he’s doing, Kai finds one of his hands coming up to Beomgyu’s cheek, thumbing under his eyes — exactly where video-Beomgyu has his tear tracks.
Beomgyu’s eyebrows furrow confusedly at the action, but what finally makes him gasp — similarly to how he’d done so at the beginning of the cursed video that’s still paused in Kai’s other hand — is Kai fisting his fingers into Beomgyu’s hair, pulling hard enough to expose the column of Beomgyu’s throat.
“You never told me you liked that,” Kai notes. It takes everything in him to keep his voice neutral, and it seems like it also takes everything in Beomgyu to keep holding eye contact. “Maybe I’m not mean enough to you,” he adds.
Kai’s expanse of sexual experience boils down to three hook-ups and Beomgyu. He doesn’t think he’s mean by any means, and Beomgyu’s never asked for anything like that either. He’s never even alluded to anything like that. Perhaps that’s why the video in his hand is as jarring as it is — clearly, video-Beomgyu is enjoying what’s happening, if he was happy enough to film it.
“You don’t need to be,” Beomgyu says, shaking his head as much as he can, with the anchor of Kai’s hand still in his hair. “I like how you make me feel.”
“But you also do like it like this, don’t you?” Kai asks, putting the pieces together himself.
Kai being gentle and soft during his first time with Beomgyu couldn’t have been helped — his hyung had looked cute and adorable that night, and their kisses were warm, and all Kai could feel were fuzzy butterflies leading up to them taking their clothes off. It was such a good feeling, that he was determined to make Beomgyu feel the same way.
But their first time together was over a year ago, at this point. Since then, Beomgyu has asked to try new things, as has Kai. That’s not what seems to be bothering Kai.
If Beomgyu didn’t agree, he’d tell Kai. The same way he corrects Kai when he remembers things wrong, and the same way he corrects Kai when he says the wrong thing—
Beomgyu stays silent. Kai’s nostrils flare on their own accord, and his fingers subconsciously clench together in Beomgyu’s hair.
“Oppa, please—” Beomgyu gasps yet again, a strangled sound escaping his throat when Kai uses the strength he’s been slowly, but steadily, gaining over Beomgyu (his boyfriend had been impressed with the fruit of Kai’s newfound gym routine — and this isn’t the first time Kai has employed it in this kind of scenario). He lets go of Beomgyu’s hair — leaving it a mess — and moves him off his lap. “What are you doing?” he asks, breathless.
“I just want to get to know my boyfriend a little better,” Kai explains, unable to regulate the way his tone turns just the tiniest bit darker. Beomgyu has never heard Kai’s voice like this, and it sends a slight shiver down his spine as Kai maneuvers Beomgyu into sitting on one of his thighs, the older’s back to Kai’s chest. “Since he seems to be too shy to tell me.”
Kai leans over, propping Beomgyu’s phone up against the empty glass of water Beomgyu now curses himself about never putting away.
Beomgyu can’t even manage a squeak, jarred by actually seeing himself on screen instead of just hearing it, before Kai presses play, and the familiar sounds of himself and Yeonjun begin ringing through the air, yet again.
Yeonjun shoves Beomgyu’s head back into the sheets, muffling the loud moan Beomgyu lets out as Yeonjun’s hips begin thrusting faster.
“That’s it,” Yeonjun drawls, a mean lilt to his voice. It sounds more sinister than anything Kai has ever heard Yeonjun say with his own two ears. “Take it like a good little bitch. It’s all you’re made for, hm? Isn’t it, Gyu?”
Yeonjun’s face isn’t actually in the video, which is something Kai thanks the heavens above for. He thinks his head would’ve actually exploded if he had to actually see Yeonjun fuck his boyfriend, no matter if it was in a video or not. Hearing it is already enough to have Kai not mind being his usual gentle self as he shoves a hand down Beomgyu’s sweatpants.
“Kai,” Beomgyu scrambles, turning his head to look at the younger. They make eye contact for only half a second before Kai continues, grappling around Beomgyu’s pants before getting ahold of his cock. His semi hard cock.
“Shh, baby,” Kai mutters, using his other arm to wrap around Beomgyu’s waist, keeping him from squirming around too much. “I wanna listen to you moaning for it like a bitch.”
Beomgyu makes a strangled sound at that, as the same time that video-Beomgyu makes a gurgling sound — video-Yeonjun has hooked one of his thumbs into Beomgyu’s mouth, forcing it to stay open. The camera filming them manages to capture all the drool that spills from Beomgyu’s mouth.
“If you liked it messy, you just had to tell me,” Kai chastises. He properly wraps his fingers around Beomgyu’s cock, using his thumb to swipe over the wet tip. “Oppa can keep your mouth open until you’re drooling for it.”
“Oppa,” Beomgyu moans breathily, not fighting how his hips chase the not-enough feeling of Kai’s palm around him. His eyes have slipped shut, but Kai can’t have any of that. The fingers on his free hand pinch Beomgyu’s waist, eliciting a yelp from the older.
“Keep your eyes open,” Kai reminds him, and keeps his eyes locked on Beomgyu to make sure he does.
“Hyung,” Beomgyu moans wetly. His arms are limp by his sides, useless to try and push back against the hand Yeonjun has resting heavily on the nape of his neck. At the very least, Yeonjun allows him some respite by letting him turn his head to breathe, and now his cheek is squished into the sheets instead. “I wanna come.”
“Have I come yet, Beomgyu?” is Yeonjun’s biting reply. When Beomgyu shakes his head, a miserable sound escaping his throat, Yeonjun fucks him harder. “Then wait your turn.”
Kai makes it his personal goal to always have Beomgyu come first. He doesn’t like making Beomgyu wait, not when one of the most rewarding things Kai gets out of sex with Beomgyu is getting him off. Seeing Beomgyu’s eyes roll into the back of his head and watching himself succumb to pleasure has to be one of Kai’s favourite things in the whole world.
Which is why he loathes seeing Beomgyu’s eyes roll into his skull because of Yeonjun, of all people. The slick sounds of sex coming from Beomgyu’s phone seems to be doing enough for his boyfriend though, seeing as when Kai begins picking up the pace of his palm, there’s more precoming aiding the slide.
“Oppa, please,” Beomgyu whimpers, his hips jerking in Kai’s lap. Kai casts a glance to him, and dutifully, his eyes are glued to the screen.
“Good boy,” Kai praises before he can catch his tongue. It comes naturally to him, wanting to make Beomgyu feel good — whether that be with his hands, his mouth, his body, or his words. And Beomgyu likes it too, if the way his mouth falls open around another moan is anything to go by. “What do you want?”
“I wanna come,” he says, a desperate echo to what video-Beomgyu had said not even a minute ago.
“I think you need to wait for Yeonjun to come first,” Kai reminds him.
Beomgyu makes a miserable sound, an echo of another thing he’d done in the video.
“That’s not fair,” he shakes his head, and unlike in the video, Beomgyu’s arms are free to move usefully now. One of his hands braces himself on Kai’s other thigh, while his other hand grabs onto Kai’s wrist as he pleads. “Don’t be mean, oppa—“
“But I thought that’s how whores like you liked it?” Kai asks. He picks up the pace of his palm around Beomgyu’s cock, focusing on the slick sounds coming from in his pants instead of the filthy words video-Yeonjun is spewing.
Beomgyu mewls. Kai can’t even pretend like he isn’t seeing right through him.
The hand resting on Beomgyu’s waist begins to move, making its way up and under his shirt until Kai’s fingers find his nipple. He pinches, and Beomgyu jerks violently — if it weren’t for Kai, he might have really gone flying.
“Open for me,” Yeonjun purrs, saccharine and thick despite everything else. Beomgyu does so without any further prompting, and moans softly when Yeonjun spits right into his mouth. “Swallow like a good little slut.”
“Ah,” Kai observes, clenching his jaw as he does so. Beomgyu’s fingernails are digging into his wrist, but it’s not enough to deter Kai from harshly digging his thumb into Beomgyu’s slit. The latter makes a guttural sound. “You really are a dirty little slut, baby.”
“I’m not,” Beomgyu insists, but he sounds breathless, and his hips keep chasing Kai’s hand. “Oppa, please. I wanna be good.”
The thing is, Kai believes him. But he also believes that what he’s playing for them right now, that this video, is something that Beomgyu hasn’t been telling him. Because if it wasn’t, Beomgyu wouldn’t be getting off to his own sex tape. His own sex tape when he’s been spit on, been called mean names, had his hair pulled—
And, oh, now video-Beomgyu is getting spanked. Beomgyu whines in his lap.
“Stay still,” Yeonjun hisses, sinking his nails into the meat of Beomgyu’s ass cheek to make sure the latter listens. It works, because Beomgyu stills, and Yeonjun moves his hips slowly — so, so painstakingly slowly. “That’s it,” he hums.
The hand Yeonjun has on Beomgyu’s nape moves up, once again fisting into the locks of red hair. He yanks, but this time just enough to have Beomgyu’s face up and visible to the camera.
There’s a line of drool that spills from his mouth, eyes hazy and unfocused as he stares at himself being recorded. Real life Beomgyu makes a sound akin to having the air punched out of him.
“Tell me you love it,” Yeonjun grunts, leaning over the length of Beomgyu’s body. Kai is glad that his face is still not in frame, despite how the necklace he used to always, always wear is dangling tauntingly above Beomgyu’s head. “Tell hyung you love his cock.”
“I love it,” Beomgyu slurs, words heavy because talking seems like too big of a task for him. Yeonjun grinds his hips, and Beomgyu lets out a long, drawn out moan. “I love Yeonjun hyung’s cock.”
“Oppa,” Beomgyu sobs, louder than anything that’s playing from the video. He’s wriggling in Kai’s grip, and it only makes Kai squeeze his chest tighter. The sound Beomgyu makes gets caught in his throat. “Please, oppa, I love your cock, I wanna come, please—”
The blood either rushes straight to Kai’s dick, or his head, he’s not too sure which one. All he knows is that in the heat of the moment, Kai springs up, his hand leaves Beomgyu’s pants, and he pushes him off, moving him to lay down along the couch instead.
Even now, as Beomgyu’s head goes to hit the armrest, Kai finds his hand subconsciously landing there first to cushion his boyfriend. Kai has always known that the last thing he’d be capable of doing is hurting Beomgyu — but this just proves it.
Kai kisses him. It’s gentler compared to what he’s said before, and the harsh grip his hands had on every part of Beomgyu he was touching. Now though, with the sound of Beomgyu’s video behind them (just how long is this sex tape?), Kai wills himself to focus on the man under him.
Beomgyu. His boyfriend. Real and right in front of him — that’s all that matters.
“I’ve got you, baby,” Kai whispers against his lips. And Kai will be the last person to have him, too. He’s never letting Beomgyu get away: he’d be a fool to do so. “You wanna come?”
Beomgyu whimpers, nodding his head adamantly.
“I wanna come, oppa,” he begs. One of his legs hooks around Kai’s, pushing the other’s hips down until they’re flush against each other. They moan in unison, and Beomgyu’s eyes flutter shut as his cheeks somehow get even redder. “Together, Kai-yah. Please.”
Kai doesn’t waste any more time as he pushes his own pants and boxers down, grabbing both of their lengths in his hand as he begins jerking them off. The reaction from Beomgyu is instant: he keens, and his eyes rip themselves open, seemingly transfixed on Kai. They’re hooded, but the only time Beomgyu isn’t looking at him is when he’s blinking.
Kai can’t tear his eyes away, either. Not that he ever is able to anyways, but Beomgyu looks especially fucked out right now, with his hand splayed across Kai’s fingers, and his lips parted around a constant stream of pleasured noises.
“My baby,” Kai says, tracing his eyes over every single part of Beomgyu — committing it all to memory, even if it already is. “My beautiful Beomgyu.”
That seems to be all it takes for Beomgyu to mewl, press his hips up into Kai’s hand, and spill his warm cum into his hand. Beomgyu always shakes when he orgasms, but this time he trembles, soft and gently in Kai’s arms as the younger works him through the waves of pleasure.
He only really begins focusing on himself once Beomgyu begins twitching with overstimulation, satisfied because Beomgyu has come — like always, he only gives himself attention once Beomgyu is satisfied.
Kai thrusts into his own a couple more times, using Beomgyu’s cum as lube, before spilling his own mess into his sticky hand. He’s breathing harshly, matching the heavy sounds and the rise and fall of Beomgyu’s own chest. He closes his eyes for only a few seconds, catching his breath and willing his brain to slow down, when he feels Beomgyu’s hand on his cheek.
His eyes open, and he sees Beomgyu’s half-lidded one, and feels the way his soft hand cups his cheek. When Kai spares it a glance, he notices that Beomgyu’s hand is shaking ever so lightly.
“Kai-yah,” he calls softly, so quiet that it’s almost a whisper. The way he urges Kai’s face down is weak, but it’s enough for the other to know to come down and kiss his pink lips. “I don’t—I’m sorry, I don’t know why I haven’t deleted the video yet,” he says between kisses.
The words are said against Kai’s lips, breathed right into his mouth, and the reminder of how they found themselves like this in the first place is enough to make Kai purse his lips into a line.
He pulls away without saying anything just yet, but doesn’t go too far, mindful of how his hand is still cushioning Beomgyu’s head from the armrest. He grabs a Kleenex from the coffee table — where Beomgyu’s phone screen has gone black, the video clearly having ended without either of them noticing — and wipes his hand off as he best he can.
He then lays down next to Beomgyu along the inside of the couch, and because it’s a tight fit, he wraps an arm around Beomgyu’s waist to make sure he doesn’t fall off.
“Do you watch it sometimes?” Kai asks after an uncomfortably long time has passed in silence. He still looks at Beomgyu as he asks, because he can’t imagine having this conversation without looking at his eyes.
The eyes which widen comically when he answers.
“No,” Beomgyu denies, shaking his head too. “I haven’t watched that since we broke up, Kai, I promise.”
Beomgyu sounds pleading, which is not what Kai had been going for at all.
“I believe you,” he assures, because regardless of whatever Beomgyu was going to say as his answer, Kai would’ve believed him. “I just. I guess it just threw me off, seeing that.”
Beomgyu nods his head vehemently, understanding.
“I didn’t even remember that until today,” he insists. “I deleted everything else from when we were together, I promise. You can check, Kai—”
“No,” Kai sighs, squeezing the back of Beomgyu’s head gently. “I believe you, hyung—of course I trust you.” He sets his words in stone by kissing Beomgyu’s forehead. “It’s just… why didn’t you tell me, hyung?”
Beomgyu doesn’t even take a mine to think before answering.
“I like how things are with you,” he says, finding Kai’s hand and moving it from his waist just to thread their fingers together. He kisses the back of Kai’s hand and looks into his eyes as he says, “I like how you make me feel.”
“But you also like it like… that. Rougher, harder. Why didn’t you say anything?” It’s not like they’re not used to trying different things out — Beomgyu didn’t start calling Kai oppa out of nowhere and for no reason.
“I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Beomgyu admits quietly. He’s still holding their hands close to his mouth. “You’re… you’re so good to me, Kai. I know that you don’t like hurting me, you know it too. I don’t want to ask you to do something you won’t like.”
Something stirs in Kai’s chest. He had done it today, though. He pulled Beomgyu’s hair, and manhandled him however he wanted, and called him a whore and a slut. He told Beomgyu he’d make him drool, told him he couldn’t come until — until fucking video-Yeonjun did.
“What are you thinking?” Beomgyu whispers. Their joint hands comes up until Beomgyu can thumb at the furrow between his brows.
“I’m thinking about how mean I was to you today,” he says quietly. He’s looking at Beomgyu, at how his eyes are attentive, and how he’s listening to every word he’s saying. “About how… about how I hate that I can’t give you what he did.”
Because that’s all this boils down to, isn’t it? Yeonjun has always had Beomgyu first — Beomgyu liked him first, they dated first, they had sex together first. Beomgyu loved Yeonjun first.
And no matter how much Kai wants nothing more than to be the last person to have Beomgyu — the last person who Beomgyu has — doesn’t mean it’s easy to know that he is lacking in ways that Yeonjun wasn’t.
Kai didn’t know he was insecure about what he does for Beomgyu when they have sex until right now.
“I don’t want you to give me what he did,” beomgyu tells him, his words firm and his gaze unwavering. “I’m any sense. I love what you give me, everything single thing. I love you, Kai.”
Kai knows this. He’s known it for the past ten months, since the first time Beomgyu has said it.
“I do love you too,” Kai reciprocates, a small smile crawling onto his lips when Beomgyu kisses the corner of his mouth. “I just want to be enough for you.”
“You are,” Beomgyu coos, pressing closer and peppering kisses all over Kai’s face now. “You are enough. You’re everything. My Kai,” he finishes with a soft, loving kiss on Kai’s lips.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so insecure, I don’t know where this came from,” he mumbles, pressing his face into Beomgyu’s neck. Just to hide for a moment and collect himself.
“You don’t need to apologize for your feelings, Kai. Ever.” Beomgyu cards his fingers through Kai’s hair, soothing the whirring thoughts that are coming to a halt in his brain. “I’m sorry, too. The video should’ve been long gone by now.” Beomgyu apologizes.
“It’s okay,” Kai whispers, and he means it. What’s done is done: Yeonjun and Beomgyu broke up, and the video has been watched.
“Take my apology in the form of me buying both our IU tickets, yeah?” Kai can hear the grin in Beomgyu’s voice, and he smiles against his skin as a result, nodding his head.
“And buying dinner tonight?” Kai tries, just to be a little shit.
Nonetheless, “And buying our dinner,” Beomgyu concedes.
“Love you,” he sighs happily.
Beomgyu giggles about it, and Kai just thinks about how he’s the only man in the whole world who gets to hear that sound right up against his ear.
Kai is lucky to be in love and to be loved, and nothing else — nor anyone else — matters.