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The walk back to her car is pleasant despite the occasion, Diego has given up on tracing her features deciding instead to rest his head on her shoulder, randomly blowing on her neck.
We’re almost there.
When she reached her car, she took a second to hug Diego tight against her. She knew that factually Beatrice’s parents could not take him away, at least not completely – he would have stayed with Ava and therefore had contact with them – but the mere thought of him being harmed in any way had made Lilith feel like she could not breathe. Seeing her sister and Ava in the state that they were did not help either, it reminded her that Beatrice had overcome so much, that they both had, and that they were not yet totally free.
Freedom was a weird concept anyway, Beatrice had been an adult for a while, she had a job, an education, a family, but she was not her own person, some part of herself was still owned by her parents, whatever freedom she had enjoyed until now had been almost imaginary. Lilith shuddered, she did not want to think about the parts of her that were not hers, about how much she would have to unpack if she wished to reclaim them.
Diego’s tiny hands gripped her neck.
Cold?
He had felt the shudder against his fingers.
No, I’m sorry. Let me put you in your seat.
She strapped him in, texted Camila her ETA, then got in the driver’s seat and started her journey to her apartment.
She did not feel like turning the radio on, a quick look in the rearview mirror gave her an idea.
Di, will you sing for me?
He clapped his hands animatedly. He began belting whatever songs Ava was fixated on at the moment – Lilith knew Beatrice did not listen to whatever he was singing.
They reached her apartment without much hassle. She did not even have to use her keys to get in, Camila was waiting for them by the door. She hugged them both, feeling one of Lilith’s hands rub her lower back.
Hi! I missed you guys!
Hello my love!
She let go of Camila to lay a sweet short kiss on her lips. At that point, Lilith did not care that Diego could report her to Beatrice and Ava – she would tell them herself once this situation was dealt with – she just needed her comfort person.
Waffles!
Their nephew did not seem to care, he was on a mission, even willing to forego their usual routines.
Right. I promised him we would make waffles.
Let me prepare the ingredients while you settle.
They washed their hands and wore their aprons as Camila moved around her kitchen. It brought her peace to see Camila being so at home in her space. She had known for a while that Camila was it for her, but it was in these moments that she understood why. Camila made Lilith’s spaces her own, she loved them because they held traces of Lilith. Now they held traces of Camila too.
Up.
Diego tapped Lilith’s knee to get her attention. She brought him up to her hip, but he shook his head.
Up up.
He tapped her shoulder, she sighed. She held him above her head, seating him on her shoulders. He patted her head twice. Camila smiled at her as she finished setting everything for them. She took a seat at the kitchen table, letting them have their moment.
Lilith was keeping a hand on Diego’s back to make sure he was stable, she squeezed his calf to let him know she would have to take him down.
Come on Di, I need to put you down so we can work.
No! Up!
He grabbed two thick strands of her hair and pulled slightly. Camila laughed, she immediately understood where this was heading. Lilith sighed dramatically.
I’ll help you baby.
Camila jumped to the rescue – letting the pet name slip when she had noticed Lilith had given up on her restrictions. She washed her hands and wore her apron before joining the duo at the counters.
Recently, Diego had become obsessed with Ratatouille, it was the only movie he agreed to watch, so it made a lot of sense that he would want to reenact it. He started pulling her hair randomly, not following any pattern whatsoever or choosing the appropriate side to move her free hand. He just liked that Lilith was actually moving and working with Camila.
Wait, can you keep whisking for a sec?
Sure.
Camila took a few steps back as Lilith struggled to hold Diego and whisk the ingredients in the bowl. She grabbed her phone and started recording. Lilith would have felt awkward and self-conscious any other day, but she knew her sister would appreciate receiving something to take her mind off everything happening.
Look at this, our very own chef!
Camila’s chuckles were the only reason Lilith did not yell at her whisk. Soon enough, Camila was back at her side helping her.
They were done preparing the batter rather quickly, the rest of the process was a bit more testing as they had to wait for each waffle to be done cooking. After that it was smooth sailing. Thankfully, Diego agreed that he needed to be put down so they could sit around the table and enjoy their waffles.
The three of them were silent as they dug into their food. Truthfully, Lilith needed them to be done eating as soon as possible so she could discuss their next steps with Camila. Neither woman said anything when Diego snuck an extra waffle onto his plate or when he added two spoons of chocolate spread on it instead of one.
Gracias.
Diego would randomly say thank you at the end of his meals whenever he remembered, usually he just stormed off or asked for his next activity.
I’ll help him wash up.
Diego waddled behind Camila towards the bathroom as Lilith worked on cleaning the kitchen table and doing whatever was left of the dishes.
Ten minutes later, Camila came back into the kitchen alone.
He’s playing in his corner.
Ever since his sleepovers became regular, Lilith had turned part of the guest room into Diego’s space, getting him toys and a small toddler bed. She wanted him to know he was a fixture in her life, someone permanent, she wanted him to be able to make impromptu visits – like today – without worrying about having his things.
I think we should talk about what happened.
Camila nodded, threading her fingers through Lilith as the woman led them to the living room. They took off their slippers and settled on the couch. Camila was half laying on Lilith, her back resting on the couch cushions. She had draped the throw over their bodies, it was more of a comfort move than it was for warmth.
Lilith walked Camila through the day, explaining every detail she had up until she picked up Diego.
I know they went back, and I know Ava’s with her, I’m just worried. I don’t know if she understands what they’re capable of. Physically.
Camila rubbed above Lilith’s chest tenderly, hoping her movements would get Lilith’s mind to focus on a pattern and settle.
Bea will be okay, amor. She is strong, she’d had us all this time, she’d had you. I think now she realizes she has herself as well.
I know you’re right. I just… I just hate them so much, they remind me of my own parents and it makes me spiral.
Would you like to tell me more about them?
Lilith sniffed. She had not wanted to cry, not about herself especially today, she should be crying for her sister, for Ava, and for her nephew. She did not want to make it about herself.
Camila raised herself so she could look at Lilith. She smiled, stroked her cheeks – effectively wiping her tears – and kissed her.
You don’t have to say anything, amor.
Okay.
I love you, Lily.
She pecked her again.
I love you too.
As if on cue, they heard soft steps coming towards them. Diego stopped right in front of them, making grabby motions with his hands. Without moving out of their cocoon, Lilith hoisted him onto her chest – Camila had raised the throw to allow him under it and had moved slightly to fit him against them.
Is everything alright?
He nodded against her chest, his eyes already closed, content to be in his favorite place – the embrace of his village.
Eepy.
Okay, we’ll all take a nap then. Cami and I will close our eyes.
He nodded again, although Lilith barely felt it. Camila chuckled as she stroked his hair.
Come on baby, you gotta close your eyes too.
Okay, sorry.
Lilith closed her eyes, she allowed all the emotions of the day crash into her though she did not feel scared, she knew the weight against her was enough to ground her. And with that in mind, she drifted off to sleep.
****
A soft tap against her shoulder woke her up.
Lilith, hi! Sorry, Bea wanted to see Diego and you weren’t answering so we used her key.
She looked around to assess her surroundings, Diego and Camila were still asleep against her, Ava was bent over her smiling wistfully, and Beatrice was sitting by her feet, tear streaks evident on her face though she did not appear as disturbed as Lilith expected her to be.
Do you want to take him or should I wake him first?
I’ll take him, you wake up Camila.
Lilith nodded. Ava slipped her hands under her son’s body to gently lift him on her chest. He almost did not react, but he must have smelled her perfume, he perked up slightly.
Mama?
Yes baby. Mummy and I wanted to see you!
Mummy?
Ava angled herself so he could see Beatrice. He made motions of wanting to be transferred to her. The moment he was in Beatrice’s arms he laid a blubbery kiss to her shoulder before resuming his nap.
When Beatrice confirmed that he was comfortable on her, she allowed her body to deflate. She laid back against the couch cushions and she let her arms fall loosely around her son. Ava took a seat next to her, keeping a hand on her thigh.
Lilith had momentarily forgotten to wake Camila up, she had distracted herself by watching her sister, checking for signs that she needed an intervention or that she was about to withdraw into herself. She could read nothing of it on Beatrice. She did not appear defeated, just tired.
She stroked up and down Camila’s arm.
Cami, Ava and Bea are here.
At the mention of their names, Camila shot up. As Lilith had done, she took a hard look at Beatrice to make sure she was okay. When she could determine that she was relatively fine, Camila settled back next to Lilith.
They let the silence fester for a moment, they were organizing their thoughts, deciding how much they really felt like talking about. Lilith itched to ask Beatrice a million questions and her sister knew that, which was why she ultimately spoke up.
It’s done. They’re out of my life, they can’t get to Diego.
Lilith smiled.
You did it Bea. You don’t have to be brave anymore.
Beatrice started crying again, Lilith teared up as well. Beatrice was more than just her sister; she was a mirror of herself. They had very similar experiences growing up, they found comfort in each other. Knowing that Beatrice had fought for herself gave Lilith hope that she could fight for herself too.
We’re very proud of you, Bea.
Camila rubbed Lilith’s knuckles as she said it.
Beatrice asked Ava to fill her sisters on what went down. She was too tired to really speak but she wanted them to have the full story – she would have to repeat it to Shannon later. Ava did her best to inject some humor into her retelling to give each of the people present – including herself – a little way out of the story should they need it.
Fucking bitch!
Lilith was usually a pretty collected person, she rarely felt the need to use insults, she did not like to lose her composure, but the situation called for it.
She was not a violent person by nature, any violent inclination she had was a survival strategy but, in this moment, she had the urge to slap them, to make them taste what they had inflicted on Beatrice. She felt this rage bubbling inside her, something she was not sure she could get rid of.
Yeah, I know. Trust me, I barely held myself. Bea here was a champ throughout it all.
Ava and Beatrice often slipped into baby talk when Diego was around, she could not fault them though, she sometimes felt herself doing that as well, as if making her vocabulary more accessible made the world a gentler place for Diego to live in. Maybe it did, in any case, it was a nice vision to hold on to.
I’m sorry you now have to deal with them.
Beatrice had felt incredibly selfish about making her sister the new head of the company, she knew it would involve some contact with them even though they had significantly lost their power. It was as if she had saved herself by handing off her sister.
Hey, Bea, you have nothing to apologize for. I agreed to this decision. Besides, I enjoy the thought that I’m pissing them off by replacing you, trading one lesbian for another.
This sort of humor was uncharacteristic of Lilith which made the sentence that much funnier. When the laughter died down, Diego began stirring. Beatrice mouthed a solemn thank you to Lilith before checking on her son. He patted her cheeks in greeting, noticing that they were wet.
Mummy cry?
Yes love, but it’s okay.
He pushed against her arms to be let down, ran to his room, then came back with one of his toys, attempting to cheer up his mother, to no avail.
Di, I know what would help your mummy.
He turned to Lilith, intrigued.
We should teach her our dance.
He did not have to be told twice, he grabbed the TV remote, selected his song, then waited for Lilith to join him in the middle of the living room.
As she got up – nudging Camila to do so as well – she looked at Ava.
Silva if you record this or breathe a word of this to the others, there will be consequences.
Lilith was absolutely serious, Ava understood that they were being allowed into a very private part of Lilith, she knew this was all done to make Beatrice feel better and she would never take advantage of that. She made a zipping motion over her mouth.
Lilith nodded and so they began dancing though Diego was unsatisfied with having an audience. He ran up to his moms, urging them to join the dance floor. Ava was up in a second, helping Diego to convince Beatrice who ultimately yielded.
Diego pushed against their thighs to direct them to their spots, he took his teaching role seriously, they needed to know the moves correctly, he was very proudly showing off his and playing up how important his help had been to Lilith and Camila – who knew the choreography perfectly.
For a few minutes, the five of them just danced their feelings out, allowing their bodies to lose control in a safe environment, knowing that it would be theirs to return to once the music stopped.
Eventually, they settled back on the couch – Diego was busy in his room playing.
Do you want to take him back with you or would you like some space?
It’s up to Bea.
Beatrice had wanted to see their son, to remind herself he was real and unharmed, that he was hers and Ava’s and that even if something happened to her, it did not mean that it had happened to him. She also knew she needed more space to process everything that went down, to cry without worrying about saddening her son or having to think about explaining it all to him. She needed to let it out so she could have her freedom, entirely.
Is it okay if he sleeps over tonight?
Of course.
Lilith had selfishly wished for it.
I’m sorry if that messes up date plans.
Lilith blushed. In the rush of it all, no one had commented on the position they had found Camila and Lilith in and for a second, she had forgotten that this was a conversation they had yet to have.
Damn Bea, I had held myself back but you clearly didn’t.
Ava chuckled, proud that Beatrice had sort of teased the couple.
I’m sorry, we wanted to tell you and I just got nervous and then everything happened and…
I know Lil, it’s okay. I knew about it anyway.
I can’t believe that out of everyone, Shannon and Mary were the first to get it on.
Camila laughed to Ava’s comment, effectively breaking whatever tension had began building inside of Lilith.
We’ll go say goodbye to Diego, then we’ll leave yeah?
Alright.
As the women joined their son in his room, Camila gave Lilith a quick peck.
Amor, breathe. She’s not mad or disappointed. It’s a big day.
Yes, okay, you’re right.
She took a deep breath.
I think we should celebrate with good food tonight, maybe even a bottle of wine. What do you say baby?
She smiled.
It sounds like a great idea.
If we get Diego to bed early, maybe we can even draw a bubble bath. I’ve been dying to use the bath bomb you bought last month.
It’s a date.
Camila kissed her in response. They tidied up the couch as they waited for Ava and Beatrice.
Soon enough, the four of them were standing by the door, promising to contact each other for a celebratory lunch the next day – they still needed to update Shannon and Mary, and well the others too.
Beatrice and Lilith were the last to hug, basking in the comfort of the contact.
Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you Lil.
She nodded. She squeezed tighter.
I won’t be able to do it without you.
They let go of each other shortly after. Ava and Beatrice waved goodbye as they got in the elevator. Lilith closed her apartment door and looked at Camila expectantly.
Do you think we can go back to cuddling on the couch?
She smirked.
I guess we’ll just have to try and find out.