Chapter Text
Valentine’s Day was exactly two weeks ago, and to be honest, you’d always dreaded that holiday. You’d always been single, never really being impressed by any guy that liked you, and yet you couldn’t help but feel left out when you saw people celebrating. For a while, you had thought that something was wrong with you, but you kept telling yourself that maybe you just hadn’t found the right guy. It made you wonder when the day would come, or if it ever would.
Mel had called you the day after, prattling on about the date that Owen took her on, the grand bouquet, the bag of goodies, and other activities you’d rather not have to think about. You laughed with her over the phone, just happy that your sister wasn’t complaining about not being able to be with him anymore. Then she’d asked how your day went, and you told her that it was the same as always. You didn’t have eyes for anyone, and if anyone thought that much of you, they didn’t show it. Mel shrugged her shoulders and told you not to worry that, soon enough, you’d find a guy.
So, when you came home from school exhausted from your club meeting, and your parents were sitting at the dining room table like an intervention, you sighed. This was never good, and for the past few weeks, they’d been more wary around you, like they forgot how to act properly. You left your bookbag and shoes by the door, then walked past them into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Before you could even raise the cups to your lips, however, they called your name from the table, demanding you join them. You held the cup tighter as you sulked your way over to the table and took a seat across from your mother. Placing the cup down in front of you, you avoided their gaze, preparing yourself for what was to come.
“Why didn’t you sit down when you got here?” Your mother asked curtly. Quickly picking your head up, you blinked at her a few times and gestured to the cup of water in front of you.
“I was thirsty?” You said passively. Instead, your mother just looked at you, annoyed, then shook her head.
“Whatever, we need to talk to you,” She pushed, and you nodded your head at her to continue. “You’re getting older now, and you know prom is coming up soon. Do you have a date in mind?”
You were taken aback by her question, not really sure how to proceed. You turned your attention to your dad, and he was looking at you with that same demanding look. Blinking a few times, you did your best to push your worry away. The last thing you needed right now was to panic about parents again.
“I- no, I’m not really looking for a date,” You forced out, a knot starting to form in your stomach.
“Well, good because we already have one for you,” Your mother said, a twisted smile starting to form on her lips. You wanted to be swallowed up by the chair you were sitting in, because there was no way that this was happening.
“What… what are you talking about?” You turned your head to the side slightly, brows furrowing.
“One of our coworkers’ sons goes to your school in your grade, and we think that you two should meet. He’s a nice boy, and he’s interested in you.” She leaned her elbows on the table.
“No, I don’t even know him, and not only that, but I don’t want any sort of relationship. I have too much going on in school for that,” You countered.
“Nathan Wright, you should have math with him,” Your father added, and you turned to him again. They were dead serious about this.
“Why do I even need to? Prom isn’t for a few months, and I really am not interested in starting anything, even if it’s short-lived.” You tried again. Your mother only sighed in annoyance at your attempt, sitting up straight and shaking her head.
“This isn’t a request; it’s been too long of you being single. Look at all your friends, your sister, they all have people, and you’re falling behind them. We’re having dinner with him and his family next week.”
“Mom, please-” You had to do something, anything really.
“ENOUGH! People are going to start talking, and I won’t have them say anything bad about this family.”
“Talking about what?” Your head was starting to spin, and you were truly confused about what your mom was trying to get at.
“Don’t be stupid. You haven’t been with anyone, and I’ll be dammed if my daughter decides she doesn’t like boys.” She said sternly. You sank back in your chair, swallowing hard. You wanted to yell at her, to tell her that she was wrong, that she shouldn’t be saying that. But why, you didn’t know, so you stayed silent before marching off to your room and slamming the door. It was one thing to ask about a prom date, but to set you up with someone you didn’t even know was another. Your parents had no right to fix you up with a boyfriend you didn’t want. And to think that you hoped one day you’d get a boyfriend, you should’ve known better than to blindly wish for things.
Locking the door behind you, you threw yourself onto your bed. You were already exhausted from before, and your parents’ antics was just the cherry on top. You knew that they weren’t going to give up, and would probably keep talking about it for a while, but for now, you didn’t want to let that bother you. Closing your eyes, you slowly drifted off to a restless slumber; you’d have time to figure everything else out later.
The relentless banging on your door startled you, making you perk up in your bed, your eyelids still heavy. You could hear your mother’s voice on the other side of the door, letting you know that dinner was ready and that they expected you to join them. You let out a tired breath before you got up and moved to unlock and open your door. Your mom had already left and was probably waiting for you in the dining room.
You still felt half asleep as you walked over towards the dining table, and you noticed that your plate was already served. It was almost sad seeing that your mother had cooked your favorite meal. You knew she had ill intent; she was only trying to convince you of something you had no interest in. Letting out a sigh, you moved over to your seat and sat across from your mother again.
“Now then, to continue our conversation from earlier,” She started, and you could only stare down at your plate, wanting nothing more than to run back to your room.
“Mom, can we not, please?” You begged, as your fork pushed your food around.
“Did you not hear a single thing that I said to you earlier?”
“Do you not understand that we’re just looking out for you?” Your father added on.
“How is that looking out for me?!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands down by your sides. Your parents both looked at each other, like their answer was the most obvious thing in the world.
“You have no idea what everyone thinks, and I’m not going to let them think badly of you, or us. So, you’re going to do us this favor and meet the boy,” The way she said it sounded almost like a threat. You sat back in the chair. This was going to be impossible, this task that should have been so simple, it was just too much for you. You wanted to fight against them, wanted to push that you didn’t need anyone right now, but you knew better. You knew that no matter what you did, your parents would not back off. This was how your life had always been, and you couldn’t help but feel that’s how it would always be, too. So, sighing in defeat, you stared down at your food. It couldn’t be that bad, right? It would only be for a little while anyway. You wouldn’t be marrying him, so it wasn’t that big a deal.
Dinner with the Wrights was nothing short of underwhelming. The boy, Nathan, was slightly taller than you, with pale skin, light brown hair, and these muddy hazel eyes that didn’t seem to leave your figure once. His parents, however, were more welcoming as they asked you a few questions about yourself. You answered honestly, unsure of what else you could do. To you, this was purely a sort of deal you made with your parents to get them off your back.
His mother, Diane, had cooked quite a meal for the six of you—a feast of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes. It wasn’t particularly your favorite, but you knew your parents would be upset if you “caused a scene” about the food. So, you sighed and sat beside yourself with hunger as you took small bites, and to your surprise, it wasn’t as bad as your mother’s.
“So, do you have any plans for college?” Diane asked after a while of everyone eating.
“Um, I have a scholarship for a school up in Washington, that’s where my sister is,” You answered.
“Washington’s nice! We’ve visited there before. Nathan, you enjoyed it there, right?” She said, turning to her son, who was still shoveling food into his mouth. Just the sight of it was turning you off from this idea even more.
“Huh? Yeah, I guess,” He said, his gaze now on you, but his eyes never met yours. You tried to make yourself appear smaller; something about him was making you so unbearably uncomfortable.
“And what about you, Nathan?” Your mother asked from next to you. The boy sat up a little before taking a while to respond. For now, it just seemed like your mothers were going to do all the talking for you.
“Oh, I’m staying local. CC’s where it’s at, you know,” Nathan stated, and his mom just gave him a look. You noticed him flinch, then he immediately sat up straight and placed the utensils he had in his grasp back down by his practically empty plate. You assumed Diane did something to correct his behavior, because why else would he suddenly seem all poised?
“Oh, I see. Well, that’s good to hear. Do you know what you want to study?” Your mother replied, then she turned to you, basically begging you to carry on the conversation after he answered.
“I’m thinking business, I plan on starting something big in the future, and getting rich for my wife and kids,” Nathan’s eyes fell on you, as a sly grin spread across his face. You shuddered, swallowing hard. There was no way on Earth that this boy was hinting at some kind of future with you!
“That’s quite impressive, it’s good you understand basic family morals,” Your father then replied, leaving you even more uncomfortable than you were before. Even the thought of just being around this boy was unnerving; now you were expected to marry him in the future? You felt your head spin as you got up and walked off to the bathroom. You heard shocked gasps from behind you, and a sharp call of your name, but nothing was going to stop the sudden wave of nausea that threatened to leave you.
Closing the door behind you, you fell to your knees on the cold bathroom tile. You stared into the open toilet bowl, fearing the worst would happen. You waited, your heart and mind racing. You didn’t want to marry this boy; heck, you weren’t even sure you wanted him as a prom date anymore. Too much was happening right now for you to keep up, and that was when you threw up everything you had eaten that evening. To think you’d have to eat this cooking, sitting across from Nathan, it made your stomach twist.
You didn’t even hear the knock at the door until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You had no idea who it would be, but seeing Nathan standing over you just caused you more panic. Had you not locked the door?
“Are you okay?” He asked, and you could hear only the slightest bit of concern in his voice. You sighed, not really knowing what you should do, only that you wanted to get out of here.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You nodded up at him. Then he squatted down next to you, offering a sheet of paper towel. Your hand shook as you took it, and you wiped your mouth before throwing it into the toilet. Nathan closed the toilet lid and flushed it as you sat with your knees to your chest in the corner of the bathroom. You should probably get up and rinse out your mouth, but something told you to stay sitting down.
“You sure? My mom can give you something for your stomach if you need,” He offered, and you shook your head.
“Yeah, it’s okay. I just felt nauseous for a second, I’m okay. Thank you, though,” You hoped he’d take that as a sign to leave, but he didn’t. Nathan sat down on the floor in front of you, a seemingly sick smile playing on his lips.
“You know, you don’t have to be scared. We’re just doing this for prom, right?” Nathan said as he rested a gentle hand on your knee. You tensed at the touch, trying to lean further back into the wall.
“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, my parents have just been a little pushy as of lately,” You responded.
“I get it, mine too. Except that I was looking forward to meeting you. Since we started this school year, I’ve been wanting to get to know you. Be your friend, you know? I just never had enough courage, but then I got lucky when my parents told me about your family. So, are we friends?” He said, extending his hand to you. You were hesitant at first, but who knew, maybe you could end up liking him. So, you shook his hand, hopeful that something good might come out of this.
For about a month now, you and Nathan have been hanging out at school. Often, he’d would walk with you to classes or offer to sit with you at lunch. Some of the time you’d let him accompany you, but the other times you would tell him you couldn’t. You just had those days where you wanted to be alone and away from him. He wasn’t all that bad, and you’d grown used to his company. Heck, you’d even consider him a friend at this point. The only issue was that your parents expected something more than that, and you just had no idea if you could meet their expectations.
Nathan would tell you that there was no pressure to be in any sort of relationship and that he was fine with the two of you being friends. At first, you had been grateful when he would say that, but recently, you’d started noticing small things about him. Like how he’d asked you to hang out more, or that he was being more touchy with you. You did your best to ignore it, knowing well enough that he was just your friend. But you just couldn't help that small voice in the back of your head that was telling you that this was probably leading somewhere.
Then one day, on a day you weren’t expecting him to be outside of your science class, he smiled at you. It wasn’t a familiar smile—no, in fact, he seemed almost too happy. You wanted to walk away, knowing that you only had a few minutes before you were late to your next class. Instead, he walked right up to you and placed his arm around your shoulders as he began to walk. Goosebumps erupted from where he was touching you, and you could feel your stomach churning with butterflies.
“Nathan, I have to get to class…” You started, you had no idea where this was going to go. You just didn’t want to deal with anything now while you were still at school, and not at home.
“Come on, let me walk you,” He responded, holding you closer. You started fiddling with your nails, trying to walk as quickly as possible. You knew your class was on the other side of the school, and it was already difficult to get there on time.
“It’s on the other side of the school, you know that. And I can’t be late, okay?” You said calmly, hoping he would understand.
“You’ll be fine. Anyway, I was thinking. How about we go out tonight? There’s this new place my and the guys want to go to, can you come?” Nathan said without missing a beat. You just stared at him, blinking your eyes a few times. You knew your parents would practically beg you to willingly hang out with him, so you couldn’t use that excuse to get out of this. The two of you had only gone out three times, and it was also with his friends. You didn’t really like hanging out with all of them; it always ended with you being alone and them reeking of weed. You did your best to stay away so that the smell wouldn’t linger on you, and so your parents wouldn’t think you were involved in it.
“I… I have a lot of homework, I can’t go, sorry.” You were stopped when he froze in his tracks.
“Oh, alright then. Next time?” He asked casually as he dropped his arm from your shoulders. You nodded your head and watched as he began walking in the other direction. You didn’t waste any time walking over to your science class.
The week after, he invited you to another hangout. Having refused the last one, you agreed that you could go this time. Except this time was different, because at first it was just you two. He picked you up at your house, and when you didn’t see his gaggle of friends in the backseat, you started to wonder what had happened. Though your questions were quickly answered when he arrived at the arcade, you saw his group of friends standing around the entrance. You had no idea where he was supposed to be taking you, but you had no interest in going there.
You’d been there once before, and it was alright, nothing special really. But you also knew how he and his friends were on nights out like this, meaning you’d be stuck sitting in a corner on your phone until they were done. Besides, arcades were always better with people, and you knew that.
“You gonna come with us out back or no?” Nathan offered, turning his head to face you. Fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, you continued to stare down at the floor.
“No, I’ll just wait inside for you at the tables,” You responded.
“You sure? You know you can come with is right? You can even take a hit or two; we don’t mind,” He tried again, as he leaned in closer to you.
“No, I’m not doing that. Just get me later,” You opened the car door and started walking towards the entrance. His whole friend group noticed you walking and went to greet you. All you could offer was a meek wave as you walked past them and pushed the glass door open.
You found the empty tables by the back and made your way over there. You hoped that they wouldn’t take too long, but you figured they’d want to play the arcade games too. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you realized that it was still early in the evening, so maybe you would be stuck here longer than anticipated. Sighing, you unlocked your phone and started playing some random game you’d recently downloaded. It wasn’t anything spectacular, just a simple puzzle game to help you pass the time.
There was a notification at the top of your screen from Nathan telling you that they would be taking a while in the back because one of his friends was supposedly talking to them about something important. You didn’t respond, instead keeping your attention on the level of the game. Sure, you had felt bad whenever you turned him down, but you really didn’t enjoy these so-called hangouts. With each one that passed, you’d get more annoyed with Nathan, but you knew he didn’t mean to leave you alone. Well, seeing as he’s offered you to join them in their smoking sessions, it just didn’t appeal to you in the slightest.
Ten levels later, and you were already bored of the game, but decided to keep playing anyway because there wasn’t much else for you to do. It had only been around fifteen minutes since Nathan last texted you, but you knew that they were still going to be out there for at least another half hour. Letting out a deep sigh, you leaned back in the bench, letting your phone hit the table. You shut your eyes tight, trying to get rid of those nauseating blue lights blinding you. It wasn’t until you heard your name being called a few times that you snapped out of it and lifted your head up. Although seeing her was definitely the last thing you would have ever expected.
Abby stood next to your table, with Yara and Lev close behind. You were simply frozen, your breath catching in your throat. At first, you wondered if you were dreaming, your head spinning slightly as you stared intently at her. Though you could feel your lips spreading into a relaxed smile.
“Are you actually here, or am I dreaming…?” You said leaning forward onto your elbows.
“I flew in yesterday,” She responded, a smile evident on her lips as well.
“And you didn’t tell me! That’s just plain rude,” You joked, then it hit you, she really didn’t tell you she was coming.
“It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. Didn’t really tell anyone,” Abby said without missing a beat. You couldn’t help but wonder if she noticed you were actually somewhat hurt by that, or else she wouldn’t have responded so quickly.
“Oh, what happened? Is everything okay?” You asked, you figured maybe something happened that she had to come at the last minute?
“Well, we’re on break right now, so I figured I could come early.”
“Do… do you know if Mel was going to come? I tried calling her the other day, but she never answered.” You asked after a moment. You hadn’t really spoken to Mel as of late, figuring she was busy with her classes and exams because you knew she had an intense workload. You just wished she’d talk to you at least a little.
“Last I heard, she was busy, so she and Owen are staying in Seattle,” Abby responded, then turned around when Lev started calling for her. She was probably there to play the arcade games with them, and you were just holding them up. You looked back down at your phone when it buzzed again, another text from Nathan saying they were still talking, and that it might be a while longer than before. You considered calling someone to take you home; this night was clearly a bust. Once Abby had turned back to face you, you were already getting your things together and opened a new message with your mom to ask her to get you.
“Well, I think I’m going to head out now. The people I came here with aren’t going to actually come in, so.” You said as you stood up from the bench.
“Is your mom here?” Abby asked.
“Not yet, I was about to call her to get me.”
“You could stay with us?”
“Really?” You could feel your heart start to beat faster in your chest. Abby just smiled at you and nodded her head, but that was all it took for you to purchase a game card and spend the next hour and a half playing the silly arcade games you swore you wouldn’t even look at. Though your time mostly consisted of following Yara and Lev around and offering them your cards when their points ran out. Besides that, you enjoyed catching up with Abby. You asked her about her classes, what it was like up in Seattle, and just university life overall. She seemed happy living over there, and you couldn’t ignore that calm expression she now wore.
In turn, she asked about how senior year was going for you, and you paused. You didn’t really know what to say to that. You’d spent the past few months focusing on school work and making sure your college applications and test scores and grades and letters were all perfect.
“Well, it’s going alright,” You answered, but before you could even think of looking back up at Abby, you heard Nathan coming up behind you. Your heart lurched in your chest as he was calling your name and reached his hand out to take your arm. You curtly stepped away from him and moved closer to Abby’s side.
“Who’s that…?” Nathan said, once again reaching for your arm to pull you closer to him.
“She’s my friend, Abby,” You responded. He paused for a moment, looking towards her like he was connecting dots.
“Oh well, we’re leaving, so come on,” He tugged on your arm, but you quickly took it out of his grasp.
“It’s fine, my mom’s already on her way here to get me.” Even though she wasn’t on the way, the last thing you wanted right now was for him to drive you home.
“Just come with me, I need to ask you something,” He pleads. You turn to Abby, unsure what to make of all this, but she just shrugs, probably even more lost than you. You’d only mentioned coming here with other people, meaning she has no idea who Nathan is, or why you’re even hanging out with him in the first place.
“Can you just ask me later? I was kind of in the middle of something,” You try to get him to just leave. You really just hated being around him when he was high like this. Thankfully, he doesn’t argue and just walks away from you. You could tell that he was upset, but it was better than having to endure speaking to him for the next five minutes. Besides, you guys were only friends, so you didn’t always owe him your time. It didn’t even take a minute for your phone to vibrate in your back pocket, and you didn’t have to look to know that it was Nathan with his “so-called” question.
“What was that all about?” Abby asked, after a moment, and you could feel yourself starting to calm down. You looked back up at her, smiling as if none of it had even happened.
“Sorry, that was just my friend Nathan. Like a month ago, my parents tried to set us up so I’d have a date for prom. We just hang out casually, though, except by hang out I mean he just drags me to places so he and his friends can smoke out back. I don’t take part in it, so I’m always stuck on my own till they're done,” You explained. Abby blinked a few times, not surprised, but also not expecting that answer.
“Well, jeez, why don’t you just not go out with him anymore?” She asked.
“I try, but my parents always make a big deal when I don’t go with him enough times, and it’s really annoying. I tried telling them I just wanted to focus on school, but they didn’t really seem to get it.”
“Does Mel know?”
“Not really, I don’t know, things have been kind of weird between us for a while now, and we don’t talk that much, really. But it’s fine. Nathan isn’t that bad a person, and we get along well enough,” You told her. Your phone buzzed in your pocket again, and that reminded you that you did have to call your mom to come get you. But, before you could even pull the device from your pocket, Abby offered you a ride home. You told her that it wouldn’t be necessary; however, she insisted that it wasn’t a big deal, and you eventually agreed.
Another half hour passed before you were on the way home with Abby, Yara, and Lev. It was getting pretty late, and you could tell that they were starting to fall asleep in the backseat. Your phone had buzzed a few more times in your pocket, but you chose to ignore it for now. You figured that Nathan was still upset and that he was texting you about what had happened. You were technically still busy, so it wasn’t the right time to answer him yet.
“Do you like him, then?” Abby asked, pulling you from your thoughts. Your stomach swarmed with butterflies, as your heart started to beat faster. You had no idea, you didn’t even know what it meant to like a guy.
“I… I don’t know. I’ve never really liked anyone, and I think I just see him as a friend,” You responded, your words coming out quicker the longer you spoke.
“Well, do you like talking to him?” She started.
“I mean, yeah. He’s nice,” You replied, then added, “but how do you know when you like someone?”
“It’s just a feeling, really, when you’re happy around that person. When you laugh at their definitely not funny jokes, I guess,” Abby said, turning onto the road you lived on. You nodded at her words, thinking of anything you could say to keep the conversation going.
“When are you going back then?” You asked, and she pulled into your driveway.
“Next week,” Abby put the car in park. You wanted to ask her to hang out again, but a part of you knew not to overstep. She was probably going to spend time with family now that she was here. And if it weren’t for you randomly bumping into her, you might’ve never even known she was coming down in the first place.
“Well, thank you for saving my evening and driving me home,” You smiled at her, making sure you had everything.
“Yeah, anytime. I’ll see you around,” Abby smiled back, her warm gaze trained on your face. And suddenly, you wanted to stay in this car and talk to her for hours. Your heart was practically racing out of your chest, and your whole body practically softened. Well, until your phone vibrating in your pocket snapped you out of your daze. You stared down at your knees, then reached over to open the car door.
“Mhm, I’ll see you later, bye, Abby,” You said quickly as you got out of the car. You didn’t even look back once, just offered a weak wave as you unlocked your house’s front door. Your mind was foggy as you walked through your house and into your bedroom. Your phone buzzed again, and you angrily took it out of your pocket, but before shutting it off, you saw over twenty messages alone from Nathan. In an instant, you were snapped back to reality.
Opening the messages between you and him, you could feel your heart beating in anticipation. You scrolled up to when he first texted you after leaving the arcade, and didn’t stop till you reached the very end. Each line of text adds to that feeling boiling deep in your stomach.
‘So, I wanted to ask you something, but I guess I’ll just do it here.’
‘We’ve been friends for about a month now, and I can’t stop thinking about you.’
‘Ur beautiful.’
‘So, do you wanna go out with me?’
‘Yk like be my gf?’
‘Can you please answer?’
‘I’m not mad abt earlier.’
‘Ik that she’s your friend, its wtv.’
‘But please answer me.’
‘Will u?’
‘Come on, I’ve spent all night figuring out how to ask you.’
‘Alr, stop playing hard to get.’
‘Sorry that was mean.’
‘Just pls answer me baby.’
‘Can I call u that?’
‘Ur just so beautiful, come on’
‘Is it cuz of earlier?’
‘Is that y u won’t answer me?’
‘If you don’t like me leaving u alone, just join us.’
‘Yk u can?’
‘But please, I need to know. If u would be my gf?’
‘Just tell me.’
Your heart was about to beat out of your chest with how quickly it was beating, and your stomach was twisting in loops. You stared down at your phone for who knew how long; you had no idea what to say. Heck, you didn’t even know if you liked the guy, and here he was asking you out over text.
Thinking back to what Abby said, you wondered if you could like him. Well, it had only been a month, and maybe you liked him a little bit? He wasn’t a bad person, and you did get along with him. You probably just needed some time to get used to everything, yeah, that was it. Once you and he talked more and spent more time together, you’d realize that he was more than a friend to you. So, with a trembling hand, you replied.
‘Sure, I’ll go out with you.’
And nothing else.
Two months. You and Nathan have been dating for two months now. The week after he asked you out, you had your first kiss with him. You were in over your head with nervousness, but in the end, it wasn’t as scary as you had imagined. After that, he started actually taking you out one-on-one. Spending that time with him was enjoyable, and you did have fun. Best of all, you would catch yourself laughing at his definitely not funny jokes.
However, the best part about your relationship was the fact that you got to tell everyone was that you finally had a boyfriend. They would all gush over you with giddy laughs, and it made you feel happy. Almost as if you finally had something interesting about yourself that you felt comfortable sharing with others. More importantly, your parents stopped hovering around you as much, giving you more freedom to do what you actually wanted to do. On top of that, you and Mel were able to bond over your relationships, so you felt as though there wasn’t any weird energy between you two anymore. Things had seemed to turn around for you.
Now, prom was tomorrow, and you were getting everything ready. You, your friends, and Nathan’s friends had all pitched in to rent an Airbnb, where you would spend two days. Some people had their own rooms, but the rest were sprawled out on air mattresses or on pullout couches. Somehow, you and Nathan were stuck in your own room. You’d hoped you could room with Leah instead, but you figured she’d want a room with Jordan. You had been somewhat particular about sharing a room, especially with another guy. You didn’t know what to expect, so you pushed down your nerves and told yourself that everything was going to be fine.
“You have everything 100% ready for tomorrow, right?” Nathan asked, pulling you from your thoughts. You sat up in the bed, looking toward the nightstand where your phone was charging. The screen showed that it was already a little past midnight. Nathan had just gotten out of the shower and was about to get into bed.
“Yeah, I do. I already sorted all my makeup and such,” You responded, pushing yourself off the bed.
“Hey, where are you going?” Nathan started, his voice having that calm lilt to it.
“I’m going to go shower,” You said, grabbing your shower bag and heading for the bedroom door.
“Alright, don’t take too long,” He said, and you forced a small laugh as you closed the door behind you. The bathroom was right down the hall, and you walked over slowly, rummaging around in your bag to make sure you had everything you needed. Once you reach the bathroom door, you move to open it, but the door opens, and Leah walks out. She’s in her pajamas, and she smiles right at you.
“So…. You got plans later?” She says with a smirk on her lips. You offer her a weak laugh and shake your head.
“Only plans I have are to sleep, I’m exhausted from making sure I had everything ready.”
“Well, don’t have too much fun then!” Leah practically skipped over to her room, leaving you the bathroom. Once the water started running, you let out a deep breath. For the past few days, you’d been on edge for almost everything. You assumed you were just nervous for prom, seeing as the last one you went to ended in, well, a mess. You wanted this experience to be a good one that you could be happy about forever.
You took a lot longer in the shower than you had anticipated, just sitting with your thoughts. The water had started getting cool on your skin, and you were way too tired; you might’ve fallen asleep right there on the bathtub floor. So, slowly you dried yourself off, slipped on your shirt and sweatpants, and brushed your teeth. You didn’t have your phone with you, but you could guess that it was now probably closer to one in the morning and you really needed to get to sleep.
Walking back towards your room, you pushed the bedroom door open. You had hoped that Nathan would already be asleep, but to your surprise, he was wide awake. You closed the door behind you, then set your shower back next to your clothes bag and moved things around so they were somewhat organized.
“That sure took you a while,” Nathan said from right behind you. His hands were on your waist, and his chest was pressed up against your back. Suddenly, your heart started thumping wildly, and your breathing picked up. You took a step forward, half-startled because you didn’t even realize that he had left the bed.
“Oh yeah, lots of steps in my skincare stuff, you know?” You walked over to your side of the bed and picked up your phone. You had no new notifications, but you noted that it was a little past one already. Nathan walked over to you again and stood by your side. He pressed a light peck on your cheek, and you turned your head to look at him.
“You know, you really are beautiful,” He said, leaning in for a kiss. Your whole body stilled when his lips met yours. Sure, you’d done this before, but you were tired, and it was late. Just as you were about to push him off, he pushed you backwards onto the bed and moved to get on top of you. He pulled up from you, and you could see that triumphant smile on his lips, and panic tore through your body.
Bringing your hands up, you placed them firmly on his chest and tried to back away from him, but Nathan only seemed to try harder. With your back resting on the mattress and him on top of you, it was difficult to move away, so you tried and pushed him again. He didn’t budge and instead, lowered his head to try and kiss you again, but you were quick to say something.
“Nathan, get off of me right now,” You said firmly. He stopped, and that finally gave you enough strength to push him off of you. You quickly stood up and kept a hand out in front of you to push him away if he tried something again.
“What’s your fucking deal?” Nathan said in an exasperated tone. You simply stared at him, too annoyed to actually take him seriously.
“What’s my deal? I don’t know, Nathan, it's one in the fucking morning! You’ve heard me say that I’m tired. I. Want. To. Sleep. And we’ve been over this before. I’m not comfortable doing that, so stop it.” You were starting to get frustrated.
“We finally have no parents, no anyone who can tell us no. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot, babe, come on!” Nathan stood up. You didn’t have to tilt your head up to meet his eyes, so you stared right at him, irritation written all over your face.
“No one to tell us no..? I’M telling you no. So, listen when I say that because I mean it,” You felt like you were about to explode. Then Nathan went silent. You signed and stood there, waiting for him to say something, but he only backed away from you. Then, as calm as ever, he spoke.
“You know, I’m starting to think that something’s wrong with you. We’re young, it’s only natural we do this stuff. And here you are acting like it’s such a big deal. You’re pathetic,” He spat as he marched over to the door. But before you could even say anything, Nathan was already gone.
The next morning, you barely spoke to Nathan. He ignored you and would act as if you weren’t even there. So, in turn, you stopped acknowledging him. You figured he just needed to cool down, but clearly, he was hellbent on not speaking to you. His friends were also being weird with you, giving you strange looks or nodding disapprovingly when you walked by. You had no idea what Nathan had told them, but there was no way that it was good.
At one point, Leah had pulled you over and asked what was wrong because everyone was starting to be weird. You sighed and told her that you guys had gotten into an argument last night, but that it wasn’t anything too bad—you didn’t really want her to worry. She only told you that you could talk to her if you needed anything, and you just thanked her and moved on with your day.
Then it was time for you to get ready, dress, hair, makeup, everything had to be perfect.
You shuffled into the bedroom where you had all of your stuff packed into bags, and you were met with Nathan sitting on the other half of the bed, phone in hand. He was smiling at something, but you didn’t pay it any mind. You stayed quiet as you moved towards your main bag and opened it to collect your makeup.
“So, are you just not going to say anything, or?” Nathan started again. You paused, already feeling annoyance creeping up your throat. You let out a breath and turned to face him. Nathan had gotten up and was standing closer to you now, but you did your best to keep your distance.
“I figured you didn’t want to talk to me,” You shrugged your shoulders.
“Why would that be the case? You’re my girlfriend, of course, I want to talk to you,” He said, taking a step closer, and you took one back.
“I don’t know, you seemed pretty upset last night,” You responded flatly.
“What are you talking about? I’m fine.”
“Okay, well, I need to get ready, so.” You kneeled back down and collected your things before moving to the door.
“Can we talk first?” Nathan quickly moved to grab your arm, but you jerked it away.
“Please don’t touch me, and go ahead,” You sighed.
“Look, I just don’t want my friends to judge me. You know, they all tell me these stories of the girls they have, and I just want to relate to them. Now that I have you, and we're together, I expected us to actually fuck, you know? You mean a lot to me, and it’d make me happy if we could. I love you…” He said timidly, avoiding your gaze. You were completely frozen, your jaw left ajar, and your eyebrows practically flew to the ceiling. Was it not a bit early to be saying that?!
“Umm, okay, well… I can’t say I understand, but I’m just not ready to give up that part of myself yet. We have talked about this, and you know how I feel. I would just really appreciate it if you’d listen to how I felt, okay..?” You said simply. Nathan scanned your eyes, looked you up and down, then took a step back from you. As if something had shifted in him, he shook his head.
“Yeah, alright, I understand. I’m sorry, I was a bad boyfriend.”
“Thank you, now, I need to get ready, but I’ll see you in a bit,” You offered before walking off to the bathroom. You didn’t look back once.
Later, you spent your prom with your friends and your boyfriend. Luckily, you did have fun, and Nathan seemed to be okay after your so-called talk. You and Leah were screaming the lyrics to songs you both loved, and Jordan and Nathan just watched you both. Nathan’s friends eventually whisked him away to do who knew what, but you weren’t that bothered to care right now because this was your night, and the last thing you were going to do was let some guy ruin it.
As your mind continued to linger, you ended up back at the night of that after-party. Even now, you don’t fully remember everything that happened, but it made you realize that maybe this night would have been more fun with a different crowd. People you didn’t have to perform in front of constantly—people you weren’t afraid to be vulnerable around. Maybe someone like Abby would’ve been nice to be with.