Archive of Our Own

“Is there any particular reason we still have our clothes on?”

If Xie Lian didn’t know any better, he’d think Hua Cheng was complaining just now.

The two men have fit themselves squarely in the middle of their bed and Hua Cheng’s head rests up near the headboard on a pillow, the special one with the satin pillowcase. According to Hua Cheng, the pillowcase is the reason his hair is so soft and his skin is so clear, but Xie Lian isn’t convinced the man wasn’t just born that way.

Xie Lian settles back comfortably in his position straddling Hua Cheng’s thighs, his hands finding their place in the dip of the other man’s hips as he looks down at his lover’s face. Xie Lian himself is sure he looks thoroughly disheveled. He feels the flush of his skin, the ache of his kiss-swollen lips, and he finds the hair at the nape of his neck is slicked down from a light sheen of sweat.

Hua Cheng, on the other hand, has never looked more composed.

And god, that pisses Xie Lian off.

They’ve been kissing and kissing for what must have been the past 45 minutes. Hands in each other’s hair or gripping at the other’s waist or holding tight at the other’s neck. And yet, both of their clothes have remained very firmly in place, and the most he can get Hua Cheng to display is impatience of all things. He doesn’t even seem out of breath, and that just isn’t fair. 

Sure, more than once, Xie Lian has had to pull Hua Cheng’s shirt back down from the other’s not-so-subtle attempt to slowly raise it up, but otherwise he’s truthfully getting nothing in terms of a reaction from the man. Yeah, he was definitely hard—they both were—but that handsome face radiates nothing but calm. Xie Lian isn’t even sure Hua Cheng’s heart was racing, dammit.

This has been an incredibly slow and deliberate session, all part of Xie Lian’s plan. He has been very careful to not touch anything below the belt, not even on himself, much to Hua Cheng’s dismay. Though, the other man would never dare to say as much. Well, not yet, that is.

He grins, and a breathy laugh tumbles from his lips.

Oh, because Xie Lian really, really needs to test a theory. 

The warm evening light filters lazily through the half open blinds. It’s summertime. The hum of cicadas drones on outside. It’s Saturday. There are no plans and no obligations—they have nothing but time. And Xie Lian is determined to use it wisely. 

The couple’s king size bed takes up most of the space in their bedroom, which seemed troublesome to Xie Lian when they first moved into this apartment four months ago, but it’s a necessity he’s grown to accept. Both men are guilty of taking up more space than what’s reasonable when they’re sleeping. And, truthfully, Xie Lian isn’t sure Hua Cheng would even fit in a smaller bed. The younger man is anything but small, it’s actually one of the things that first caught Xie Lian’s attention when the two met. 

He remembers that morning in the coffee shop on campus very fondly. 

He was in his last year of his master’s program and Hua Cheng was just finishing up his bachelor's degree. They were twenty-two and twenty-six then, though Xie Lian thought Hua Cheng was his age at the time. When the barista called Xie Lian's name he was still absorbed in his phone and he picked up what he thought was his, embarrassingly extravagant, latte from the counter. He was drafting an email with one hand, about to take his first sip, when a man who was a whole head taller than him caught his attention. 

When he looked up from his phone he was surprised to find he really did have to look up at the man. He looked effortlessly cool, like he had tore out the womb already equipped with a motorcycle and tattoos. That really was Xie Lian’s first thought, which is incredibly silly knowing Hua Cheng as he does now. Regardless—the man had a motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm, most of his ink black hair slicked straight back on his head save for a braid that trickled down his right shoulder, laced with a red cord. Clearly he had just had the helmet on but his hair was still somehow the exact right balance of messy and yet put together. There was the leather jacket of course, and the red shirt and the worn jeans, and the large black boots. The man was the picture of intimidation, which was why Xie Lian, dressed in his white sweatshirt and light wash jeans, with his hair pulled up in a messy bun and his dusty white sneakers planted firmly on the black and white tile, was all the more surprised by the incredibly gentle and disarming look in the man’s eye as he stared at Xie Lian.

Somehow, Xie Lian saw the hair first and the eye patch second. He was surprised, by the eye patch that is, and then, after giving the man a once over, he finally saw the cup in his hand. 

The man was gesturing to him with the cup, then looked down at the cup, turned it so Xie Lian could see the name on it, and then pointed to the name, as if Xie Lian's confused expression was about that and not about the eye patch. Xie Lian looked and a soft “oh” escaped him when he saw his name on the handsome man’s cup. He looked at his own cup and saw ‘Hua Cheng’ scrawled in the barista’s hurried script. 

“Oops,” is what had come out of his mouth first, followed by a light and genuine, if not a little embarrassed, laugh.

When the man—Hua Cheng, he now knew—stepped a little closer, he immediately bowed, which took Xie Lian off guard. Hua Cheng spoke and the voice was so much deeper than Xie Lian anticipated that he had to force his face to remain neutral while he listened. It was a very nice voice, he recalls thinking at the time.

“I’m very sorry,” Hua Cheng began, “But I grabbed the wrong drink and—well,” The man finally straightened out of his bow, “I can absolutely buy you a new one as I’ve already taken a sip of this one.” And then, Hua Cheng, who up until this point had a distant air of shyness about him, found some confidence and smiled at Xie Lian, continuing in a much more relaxed, almost nonchalant voice. “And I fear I like it too much to give it back.”

Xie Lian raised his eyebrows up, laughed again, and took a sip of Hua Cheng’s drink in his own hand. It was mint tea, which surprised Xie Lian even more than everything else that had just transpired. Big man, leather jacket, eye patch—and mint tea? This Hua Cheng was growing more and more interesting by the second and Xie Lian couldn’t help himself.

“No worries, it seems I’ve taken a sip of yours as well, Hua Cheng.” and he smiled back.

“San Lang.”

“Pardon?”

“I’d prefer if you called me San Lang.”

And so Xie Lian and San Lang found themselves seated at a booth near the window, chatting so naturally, anyone nearby would have thought they had been friends for years.

It wasn’t until a year or so after this meeting that Hua Cheng sheepishly admitted he had gone to this coffee shop nearly every day of his undergrad on the off chance he would catch a glimpse of Xie Lian there. 

Xie Lian has never been a very observant man, so it took him by surprise when Hua Cheng admitted that they’d actually already met many years prior to university. Hua Cheng had recognized Xie Lian from high school; Xie Lian was a senior when Hua Cheng had been a freshman. The older man was incredibly popular back then, captivating the attention and respect of students and staff alike. He was also incredibly virtuous, often to his own detriment, always concerning himself with the wellbeing of others. This trait was actually how the two men’s paths had crossed. 

High school was a hard place to be for anyone, but it was harder if you were gay and even more so if people happened to find out about it. Xie Lian was the one who had personally made sure Hua Cheng was okay when the awful rumors had started about him and the older boys made all those horrific threats. 

Xie Lian had stepped in and made sure everyone was aware of what would happen to them if they so much as dared to look at the boy the wrong way. Hua Cheng had been so small then, Xie Lian hadn’t realized the tall young man and the small boy from before were one in the same until Hua Cheng came out with it. It was a conversation that brought their friendship closer together.

That was six years ago now, and they have been in a relationship for the last three. It took them long enough to get there, but they did get there, and Xie Lian is forever thankful his friends wouldn't allow him to be clueless to Hua Cheng's obvious interest in him any longer. 

And now their relationship has taken another major step forward: after over a year of trekking back and forth between each other’s apartments, insisting to their friends that no, they aren’t living together, yes they still have their own apartments, yes really they still pay two rents—they are finally living under one roof.

Xie Lian’s breath has finally slowed to a more normal pace, and the warmth vibrating between the two men has begun to cool.

“How are you feeling?” Xie Lian asks, meeting Hua Cheng’s eye, his tone seemingly innocent.

The other man furrows his brows for just a moment before answering slowly, “...Good.”

“Good,” Xie Lian says, not trying to hide the satisfaction in his voice. He continues before Hua Cheng can repeat his earlier question, “I want to try something.”

“Oh?” The man shifts slightly beneath him, raising himself a little on his elbows, his eye narrowing. If he wasn’t suspicious before, he certainly is now. 

"And what is it you want to try?”

Xie Lian smiles coyly down at him, raising his eyebrows and giving a little shrug. “Do you trust me?” he asks, a hint of a tease in his tone.

Hua Cheng cocks his head slightly at this, raising an eyebrow himself, and then says with amusement, “Of course, Gege.”

“Good,” Xie Lian starts, and he can’t help the grin that overtakes him. “Then I’m not going to tell you. Let’s just try and if you want to stop, you tell me, and we’ll stop. How’s that sound?”

Hua Cheng’s eye is still narrowed at him, but then he relaxes his guard and nods. “Okay,” his voice comes out steady and confident. “I trust you,” he says, maybe more for himself than for Xie Lian.

“I’m glad.” and then Xie Lian lifts himself off of Hua Cheng’s thighs and moves to kneel between the other man’s legs. Their eyes meet and the warmth of intimacy shivers its way through the both of them once again. Xie Lian rests his hands on Hua Cheng’s thighs and helps him spread his legs a little wider. Hua Cheng lets him do so without protest. Perfect, Xie Lian thinks, This is a great start, now I just need to power through.

“San Lang, I want you to close your eye for me.” The two men stare at each other and Xie Lian can feel the nervous pounding of his heart in his chest.

After a moment, Hua Cheng closes his eye and waits. At the sight of him, Xie Lian realizes maybe that nervousness is more akin to excitement.

He takes a breath.

“Good boy.”

The pure arousal that drips from his voice as he speaks surprises them both.

The satisfaction as Hua Cheng briefly loses his composure rolls through Xie Lian and he has to steady himself against the other man’s thighs. A nearly imperceptible shiver courses its way through Hua Cheng’s body, and Xie Lian sees the thick swallow roll down his throat, before that handsome face collects itself once again. Oh, that just won’t do.

Xie Lian gingerly takes both of Hua Cheng’s wrists in each of his hands and presses them together above the other man’s head. He smoothly switches so just one of his hands is binding Hua Cheng’s slender wrists together, and he presses them firmly into the pillow. In a low voice he says, “San Lang, you keep your hands right here and do not move them, okay?”

“Gege?” Hua Cheng tries, sounding amused, if not a little frustrated. Xie Lian ignores the tone and instead relishes at the sight of the man’s growing hardness trapped behind his jeans. This is absolutely working, even if Hua Cheng insists on wearing his perfect mask. Xie Lian will break it soon.

“Hm,” Xie Lian hums, “No, I think ‘Your Highness’ is a better suited title for this situation, don’t you think?”

Hua Cheng’s lips part with a small gasp as his hands are again pushed hard into his pillow, and Xie Lian can’t help the low chuckle that escapes him. He’s got him now.

‘Your Highness’ is something Hua Cheng occasionally calls Xie Lian, mostly teasingly and never in the bedroom. But whenever he says it, he has this unreadable look in his eye that Xie Lian has not been able to place. That is, not until recently. There’s a sincerity behind his teasing tone. When Hua Cheng calls Xie Lian ‘Your Highness’, Xie Lian is sure that, in a way, he means it. With those words, he knows Hua Cheng would go to the ends of the Earth for him—that he trusts him with his whole heart. He suspects it’s Hua Cheng’s way of expressing his vulnerability without having to face the terrifying consequence of someone actually realizing he’s being vulnerable. 

Xie Lian has decided that look is pure, aching desire.  

He can almost hear his lover saying Please, take care of me. Please guide me. Please love me. Please don’t let me go, just from that look alone. Hua Cheng wants this, and Xie Lian is sure of it. He’s also sure that Hua Cheng will deny himself the pleasure he wants because he’s seen him do so time and time again. Hua Cheng was even willing to keep his feelings for Xie Lian hidden forever, if it meant that Xie Lian was happy. Oh, but not anymore.

He hears the sharp exhale of breath through Hua Cheng’s nose, and then those perfect, kissable lips do the most infuriating thing—they smirk. And that serene, almost meditative look is on Hua Cheng’s face again. The absolute bastard.

“Whatever you say, Your Highness.” His voice has no right being so steady, so sultry, so teasing.

Xie Lian’s face flushes and he suddenly feels as if Hua Cheng has turned this around on him, as if he’s the one who is being pressed to the bed with his arms above his head. Goddammit.

But he won’t let the embarrassment stop him. He’s determined to make this man crack. He will see Hua Cheng’s perfect composure falter, and he will be the one to make it happen.

“No,” Xie Lian starts, feeling proud of how firm he sounds, “I don’t think you understand, sweet boy. I’m the one in charge right now.”

“Oh, well,” Hua Cheng’s smirk only deepens, and even though his eye is closed, it's like Hua Cheng is staring into Xie Lian’s soul. 

“That’s news to me.” 

Then the man underneath him has the audacity to laugh.

In an instant, Xie Lian’s free hand is gripping under Hua Cheng’s chin, his thumb and fingers digging into the man’s jaw as he repositions his face to get a better look at it. With where his hand is resting, he can feel the small start of a moan ripple its way through Hua Cheng’s throat. His partner’s breath has finally started to quicken and he can hear the sound of it coming hard in and out of Hua Cheng’s nose.

“You know better than to disrespect me like that.” 

He lets go of Hua Cheng’s jaw and wrists and settles back between the man’s legs, pressing his palms into Hua Cheng’s thighs, before giving them a hard squeeze. 

“Try again,” he bites out, very pleased with the husky rasp of his tone, “This time, with the reverence I deserve.”

Hua Cheng is trying, with much difficulty, to slow his breathing. He doesn’t say anything, but he gives such a small nod that Xie Lian almost misses it. To Xie Lian’s pleasant surprise, Hua Cheng obediently leaves his hands in place on the pillow and keeps his eye closed.

“Now, what do you say?”

Xie Lian doesn't allow himself to be nervous. There's absolutely no room for that here. He's been planning this moment for an entire month and he's got to get it right.

Hua Cheng would never tell him he wants this. He would never let Xie Lian think he's anything other than strong, confident, and put together. His polished and charming exterior never falters. It's a mask he never takes off. And, of course, this isn't a trait he’s developed over night. Hua Cheng has always had to work ten times harder than everyone around him. He’s had to labor to the point of exhaustion just to be given a chance of sitting at the same table as someone who comes from money, like Xie Lian does. He could not afford to make mistakes. He's never had the privilege of being visibly vulnerable. Hua Cheng would argue that he’s not even capable of feeling that way.  Xie Lian knows much better than this and, just from the nature of their relationship, he has seen Hua Cheng in moments no one else ever has.

He’s seen Hua Cheng sick before. He’s seen him wallow in bed with a fever. Suffer in a dark room with a migraine.

He’s seen Hua Cheng right after a nightmare. Panting and sweating and shaking.

He’s seen Hua Cheng with bags under his eyes, anxiously awaiting his exam scores. So terrified to see the results that he vomited—twice.

He’s seen Hua Cheng cry, just the one time, right after they got home from his mother’s funeral.

And each time he’s been vulnerable in front of Xie Lian, Hua Cheng has refused to acknowledge that anything of the sort had ever happened. He refuses to talk about it.

But Xie Lian is determined to make Hua Cheng know he never needs to hide himself from him. That there has never been any reason to hide to begin with.

“I’m sorry.” 

Hua Cheng’s voice comes out breathless and the sound of it makes Xie Lian shiver. He wants to scoop the man up in his arms and hold him close to his chest. He wants to stroke his fingers through the man’s hair and massage his scalp until he goes to sleep. But he knows he has to make Hua Cheng feel like he’s earned this, so he presses on.

“I’m sorry, what?” Xie Lian says, and he begins rubbing small, encouraging circles into Hua Cheng’s thighs with his thumbs. The younger man's face is still relatively calm, but his heavy breathing echoes loudly through their room and Xie Lian could drool over the way Hua Cheng's chest heaves with each breath. 

The gears are turning in Hua Cheng’s brain—Xie Lian can see it on his face. For a moment, Xie Lian is afraid his boyfriend is trying to rein in his emotions, he's afraid that mask is being super glued into place. But then Hua Cheng's voice finally comes, low and warm and thick with desire. Slow and deliberate.

“I’m sorry… Your Highness.” 

There's a sense of hesitance in his tone, and Xie Lian can’t be sure Hua Cheng isn’t gritting his teeth. But still, hearing that title from Hua Cheng’s lips, it sounds like a prayer.

“Good job. That’s such a good boy, San Lang.”

Hua Cheng’s hardness has returned in full force, and all Xie Lian has done is talk to him and stroke his thighs through his jeans. He can tell the man beneath him is using every ounce of concentration to remain in control of himself. Hua Cheng almost seems afraid to open his mouth. The muscles in his neck are straining. Xie Lian can nearly feel the pulse of electricity in Hua Cheng’s thighs as the man resists bucking his hips.

Hua Cheng is definitely gritting his teeth now. Xie Lian watches the man’s jaw flex with the motion. The expression on his face is so straight, so manicured, it can only be fake.

Xie Lian squeezes Hua Cheng’s thighs hard, and is granted a quiet groan from deep in the other man’s throat.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re doing such a good job. I know this isn’t easy for you.”

He doesn't get a response, but the way Hua Cheng has to grip his own wrist, hard enough that his knuckles turn white, is response enough. He's tensing every muscle in his body, and Xie Lian realizes he's doing so to hide the fact that he's trembling.

“You like when I talk to you like this, don't you? Look how hard you are, San Lang. I haven't even touched you here yet.” And finally, after nearly an hour of waiting, Xie Lian just barely rests his hand over that hard bulge in Hua Cheng's jeans. 

The other man looks like he wants to scream, but all that comes out is a restrained moan. Oh, but Xie Lian is certainly right, because Hua Cheng can't hold back from bucking his hips up into his gentle touch. His face is starting to flush a pale shade of pink that Xie Lian has never seen on him before. He doesn't even have enough control to smirk at Xie Lian. Instead, he has to bite his lip to stifle another moan.

Xie Lian tsks at him, “Mh, I don't think so,” and he removes his hand, making Hua Cheng shudder. 

“I want to hear that pretty voice, San Lang. Don't hold back. Let me hear you. I know I'm making you feel good.” 

He leans forward and presses a kiss to Hua Cheng's clothed stomach, murmuring softly as he does so, “I want to hear you beg for it.” 

Xie Lian slides his hands up from Hua Cheng’s thighs to firmly hold his hips in place. The other man tips his head back and his mouth falls open with a soft ah . And, suddenly, Hua Cheng is covering his eyes with the backs of his wrists.

“Sweet boy, that's not where I told you to keep your hands, is it?”

The sound of Hua Cheng’s labored breathing is like music. It sets the tempo for each stroke Xie Lian gives to the man’s hips. His thumbs dip underneath Hua Cheng’s shirt, then glide over the skin right along the waistband of his jeans. Hua Cheng’s hips jut up into the touch, but every muscle in his body is taut and tense, and just as quickly as his hips were raised, they come right back down again. Without any more prompting, Hua Cheng moves his wrists back to their designated spot on his pillow and shakes his head, blowing an especially strong puff of air out his nose. 

To anyone except Xie Lian, Hua Cheng might seem angry. His lips are pressed so tightly together he’s almost frowning, and his eyebrows are set in a deep furrow. Xie Lian knows Hua Cheng is grinding his teeth because of the way the skin of his jaw, near his ears, ripples with movement. He’s trying so hard to maintain his composure, assuredly defiant to giving in. Xie Lian wonders if maybe Hua Cheng is too proud—but then it occurs to him, maybe pride isn’t what’s getting in the way here. Maybe it’s fear.

Xie Lian guides Hua Cheng’s shirt up far enough to expose his stomach. He ghosts his palms over his ribs and then gently drags his nails down Hua Cheng’s sides.

Hua Cheng lets out a deep, frustrated groan, almost like a growl. Seconds pass between them, until the younger man finally speaks, his voice coming out steady, but a little reserved.

“I’m sorry.”

There’s a brief moment of silence before he quietly adds “...Your Highness.”

Xie Lian has been preparing himself for this for the past month. He’s practiced the dirty talk in the shower, as embarrassing as that is, because he really, truly wanted to get this right. He’s read articles. He’s watched videos. He’s taken mental notes of things that Hua Cheng does to him in bed. He knows Hua Cheng—he knows him better than anyone else ever has or ever will. And he knows there is a release his lover has been aching for, and Xie Lian will do everything in his power to see that he gets it. 

He doesn't want Hua Cheng to retreat again, but he doesn't want to push him past a point he wasn’t ready to cross.

“San Lang, listen to me,” his hands find a hold on Hua Cheng’s bare waist, “We'll take this as far as you'd like to, and we'll stop whenever you need. You're safe with me. If you want to stop, you just need to say the word.”

Hua Cheng doesn't respond. His mouth twists and Xie Lian can tell he's sucking on his teeth. 

He tries again, keeping his voice low and soft.

“You don’t have to hold it all in. I love you so much, my San Lang. You can let go when you’re with your Gege.” 

Xie Lian tenderly massages the warm skin of Hua Cheng's sides, “I promise I’ll take good care of you—” he presses another kiss to Hua Cheng's sternum and whispers against his skin, “—as long as you'll let me.”

It’s okay if he needs to stop. There are so many days ahead of them—there are so many chances to explore this with Hua Cheng. It doesn’t have to happen tonight. Xie Lian prepared himself for multiple outcomes. It’s okay if this simply isn’t the right time.

Hua Cheng lets out a shaky sigh.

“Please.”

 His voice is so hoarse, he almost sounds pained. 

Maybe he isn't ready. Maybe this is too much right now. Maybe Xie Lian pushed too hard—rushed him into something he couldn’t handle.

But then, with breathless conviction, Hua Cheng continues.

“Please, don't stop.”

Oh, that’s a prayer he’s more than capable of answering.

Xie Lian surges forward and crashes their mouths together in a rough, fervent kiss. He brings one hand up to caress Hua Cheng’s cheek, while the other snakes down between their bodies to palm at his boyfriend’s cock through his jeans. Hua Cheng moans, loud, into their kiss and Xie Lian moans right back, unable to stop himself. 

For the past hour he has willfully denied both of them the gratification of touching such an intimate spot. As excruciating as it was, it was so worth it. Xie Lian’s cock aches behind the confines of his own pants and the delicious friction he feels as he ruts his hips against Hua Cheng’s thigh is nearly unbearable. Every touch is so intense, he could scream.

Hua Cheng’s breath comes hot and fast against Xie Lian’s lips as the kiss finally breaks. 

Xie Lian kisses and nips his way down Hua Cheng’s jaw and licks at his pulse point before sucking a pretty, purple mark on the pale skin. With his lips pressed against Hua Cheng’s throat, Xie Lian can feel the vibrations of every moan he pulls out of the younger man, and this spurs him on. He trails his hand up from between Hua Cheng’s legs to underneath his shirt, landing firmly on the warm skin of his chest. He brushes the nail of his thumb against an already hard nipple and Hua Cheng arches off the bed, his eye squeezed tightly shut and his teeth bared as he all but whines at the touch. The taut muscles of his core are trembling and so are his hands.

“My sweet San Lang is so overly sensitive. Maybe I’ve teased him too much.”

“Please, ahh, oh please Your Highness—”

Hua Cheng seems to have finally allowed himself to fall into his role and it encourages Xie Lian to lean into his own. He feels so much more confident now that he knows for a fact Hua Cheng is enjoying himself. 

Xie Lian leaves one more kiss at the base of Hua Cheng’s throat before he pulls away and starts to tug his boyfriend’s shirt further up his body. Hua Cheng is being exceedingly compliant, letting himself be moved and eagerly helping Xie Lian get his shirt off while still complying with the eye-closed-hands-up rule he’s been given. Xie Lian finds it incredibly attractive.

Once Hua Cheng’s shirt is off, Xie Lian wastes no time in dipping back down to press hot, wet kisses to that pale chest. He plants a kiss down the line of Hua Cheng’s sternum, almost humming in his excitement, his hands tracing soothing lines up and down his lover’s sides. 

Hua Cheng grunts beneath him, squirming just a little in anticipation or from his senses being overwhelmed or from both things simultaneously. Xie Lian starts to undo the button and fly of Hua Cheng’s jeans and he can tell Hua Cheng has gone to some blissed out hazy portion of his mind just from the sound of his voice. Hua Cheng is thoroughly distracted, so Xie Lian takes this opportunity to suck one of his nipples into his mouth, relishing in the surprised squeak Hua Cheng lets out followed immediately by a throaty moan and the unmistakable rise of goosebumps that break out all over his body.

This feeling that unfurls in Xie Lian’s chest is new and exciting and he’s not sure what exactly to call it. He feels high off of it though, convinced he could do anything.

Hua Cheng is moaning again, unable to stop himself, as Xie Lian licks and sucks at one nipple while rubbing and pinching the other between his forefinger and thumb. He had an idea that Hua Cheng’s chest was sensitive but they’ve never quite played with it like this and Xie Lian thinks, briefly, that that was really an oversight on his part. How did he go so long without knowing he could get Hua Cheng to make these needy little sounds just from touching his chest? He stores this crucial information in his back pocket for later use.

Xie Lian can hear Hua Cheng’s nails scratching into the pillowcase as he clings to anything at all to ground himself in his pleasure. It excites him to see how unraveled he’s made him. And it excites him more to know he’s only just getting started.

Xie Lian pulls off of Hua Cheng’s nipple with a wet pop and, with one fluid motion, he yanks both Hua Cheng’s jeans and his boxers down to his knees. The man beneath him gasps and whines, his hips coming up on their own accord as the cool air of their bedroom hits his aching erection. 

Xie Lian leans forward and grabs the bottle of lube off the bedside table, setting it within arm’s reach on the bed. He readjusts himself so he’s sitting beside Hua Cheng’s outstretched legs, now free to pull his bottoms all the way off and discard them in a pile on the floor. He settles himself back between Hua Cheng’s legs and just takes a moment to admire him.

Hua Cheng’s entire body is now bare before him, shivering with want and so unbelievably gorgeous. Xie Lian loves Hua Cheng’s body, but right now he has only one goal in mind and his eyes gravitate to one spot in particular. He gives Hua Cheng no warning before he gently takes that pretty, flushed cock in his hand and strokes it.

Hua Cheng wheezes and then shudders underneath his ministrations, mouth open and wanting. Xie Lian tugs at the base of his lover’s cock, achingly slow, and then pumps the length fully, watching with rapt attention as Hua Cheng squirms and moans. He lazily strokes Hua Cheng up and down, his grip firm until he gets to the head. There’s a steady flow of pre pearling at the slit and Xie Lian thumbs at it mercilessly, drinking in the view of Hua Cheng writhing before him.

He drags a slow stroke down from the tip all the way to the base and then up again, loosening his grip to give Hua Cheng less friction, smirking to himself when Hua Cheng all but pouts, a whine rattling up his throat.

“Is there something my San Lang wants?”

Xie Lian teasingly circles the head again with his hand, his touch tortuously light and bordering on ticklish. Hua Cheng gasps, a sweet little sound that tapers off into a soft moan. Xie Lian barely encircles his fist in a downward stroke along the length, not nearly enough pressure to give Hua Cheng even a semblance of relief. 

“Your Highness, I… oh, god—please. ”

Xie Lian has never felt more hungry in his life.

“Oh, did you want me to stop?”

Xie Lian pulls his hand away completely, leaving Hua Cheng’s poor, wet cock to bob helplessly against his lower stomach.

Hua Cheng really and truly whimpers, his hips bucking up into nothing, desperate for friction as he shakes his head. He’s been incredibly obedient, but his hands twist into the pillow, fingers fidgeting, and Xie Lian can tell it’s taking everything in him to be good. Oh, and he really is being so, so good.

“That’s a good boy, San Lang. You’re being so good for me, aren’t you?”

Hua Cheng frowns at the question, his face pinching as he struggles with something internally, but he doesn’t answer.

“Ah, c’mon now, sweet boy. I asked you a question.” 

Xie Lian gently rakes his nails over Hua Cheng’s trembling thighs to encourage him to speak. But Hua Cheng’s face just continues to twist, teeth worrying the skin of his bottom lip, unsteady breaths stuttering in and out his sharp nose. With alarm, Xie Lian realizes Hua Cheng might be starting to panic. 

“San Lang,” Xie Lian softens his voice as he speaks, pressing his palms firmly into Hua Cheng’s thighs to get his attention.

“If you want to stop, you just need to tell me, okay? You can say no, or ‘uh uh uh’, or you can tap me three times and I’ll know.”

Hua Cheng takes a deeper breath through his nose, his hands gripping the pillow under his head like it's a lifeline. But that isn’t an answer.

“Sweet one… do you want me to continue?”

A quick, unmistakable nod.

Xie Lian relaxes a little and takes in the rest of Hua Cheng’s body language, trying to gauge how he’s doing. His thighs are still shaking with the effort of keeping his legs spread, his chest heaving with each heavy breath, and he’s arching again, offering himself up so sweetly.

“If you want to continue,” Xie Lian starts, letting his voice take on a deeper, more commanding tone, “I’m going to need you to answer my question.”

Hua Cheng groans, a wrecked and punched out sound from the back of his throat, and nods.

Xie Lian glides his hands up Hua Cheng’s thighs and roughly grips his hips; a sensation Hua Cheng must really enjoy if the moan he lets out is any indicator. 

“Let me remind you of what I asked.” 

Xie Lian pushes Hua Cheng an inch or two further up the bed, manhandling him a little just to show that he’s capable of it. 

“You’re being good for me, aren’t you?”

Hua Cheng’s eyelashes flutter for a moment but he takes a breath and nods.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Can I hear you tell me that you’re my good boy?”

Hua Cheng takes in a shaky inhale, his face pinching in a plea.

“I—I…”

Xie Lian rubs his palms up and down those thin, muscled thighs and then up over his bony hips, a soothing almost rocking motion as he speaks all hushed and warm.

“C’mon, sweet love. I know you can do it. Tell me.”

“I’m yours…”

“You are. But that’s not what I asked. Try again,” Xie Lian coaxes, and he can see his steady and confident tone comforts Hua Cheng.

“I’m your… I’m your g-good boy.”

Halfway through saying it, Hua Cheng shivers and sniffles, tilting his head back towards the pillow so Xie Lian has a harder time seeing his eye.

“Yes, you are. You’re my good boy. My sweet boy. You deserve to be touched, don’t you?”

Xie Lian knows he’s pushing him, but he’s also confident Hua Cheng can take it.

That sweet whimper is back again, louder this time and sounding suspiciously wet. Hua Cheng nods, just barely, his whole body taut and his toes curling like he can barely stand to agree.

“Tell me.”

Hua Cheng tries to tilt his head back further as the sob comes, but Xie Lian has had enough of that game and roughly pulls Hua Cheng further down the bed by his hips, forcing his face into view.

Xie Lian already knew Hua Cheng was crying, but seeing the tears does something to him. 

He's torn. 

A part of him wants to pull Hua Cheng into his lap and hold him until his tears run dry but an equal part of him wants to push this softer version of Hua Cheng over the edge as many times as he can handle… and then once more, for extra measure.

Hua Cheng cries openly, his face red as he bites on his lip, little sniffles making the tip of his nose jump in such a cute way that Xie Lian can’t help but bend down to kiss it. The way Hua Cheng lets him do so, his breath stuttering out in little pants but not even attempting to argue, makes Xie Lian’s heart soar with adoration. He is fully aware of just how much trust Hua Cheng has placed in him, that he’s allowed to see him this way, and that kind of control makes him dizzy.

“You’re doing great, sweetheart.”

Hua Cheng sighs, maybe thinking Xie Lian is granting him mercy and not forcing him to say it after all, but his relief is short lived when Xie Lian doubles down, firm and unyielding.

“Tell me that you deserve it."

Hua Cheng swallows hard, his mouth opening and closing without forming any words and Xie Lian lets him flounder, knowing he’ll get there with time.

He takes a deep breath, his face straightening for a moment as if he’s steeling himself, and Xie Lian thinks he’s got it. But then Hua Cheng’s face falls again and he lets out a defeated and wet little hum.

“I… please, gege—please, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can. Try again.”

“I—” he swallows around a sob but it bubbles up anyway, his breath uneven and his voice hoarse as he does as he’s told, “Your Highness, I’m… I’m yours. I’m your good b-boy. I d-deserve to be… to be touched.”

Xie Lian moans in approval and doesn’t waste another second. He uncaps the nearby lube, liberally coats his palm in it, and takes Hua Cheng’s cock back in his hand, his grip strong as he pumps the length ruthlessly fast, a litany of praise falling from his lips.

“I am so proud of you, San Lang. You did such a good job—such a good boy. You’re right, my love, you’re right—you deserve it, you deserve to be touched. You deserve to feel good.”

Sweet Hua Cheng sobs and sobs, overwhelmed with pleasure and surely feeling a tad bit bullied, though he doesn’t seem to mind; he takes it graciously like he’s been asked to do.

“You deserve a reward for being so good.”

Hua Cheng’s jaw trembles at the suggestion, his breathing rough as he nods.

“Please, Your Highness. This one will—hah, oh yes—will t-take whatever reward you decide—”

Xie Lian can feel his own eyes go dark with want and he maintains his brutal pace, squeezing a bit tighter over the head on his downstrokes, his mouth watering at the slick sound of Hua Cheng’s cock fucking into his hand.

“I want you to come for me, love. I know you can do it. I want to see you come.”

With an unseemly yelp, Hua Cheng arches almost completely off the bed, chasing the heat of Xie Lian’s hand, and comes so hard that thick globs of his spend hit his own jaw. Xie Lian works him through it, almost to the point of overstimulation, mesmerized by the steady pulse of his cock and the pretty pearlescent streaks of fluid dotting his torso. He only stops when Hua Cheng starts to whimper and squirm, oversensitive.

Xie Lian is watching Hua Cheng trying to catch his breath, his milky thighs trembling with the force of his orgasm, when he decides he can’t take it anymore. Without thinking, he leans forward and drags his tongue along each precious drop of come on Hua Cheng’s body; hungrily lapping it all up. Hua Cheng moans, his voice broken and his hips twitching. This is not nearly enough time for Hua Cheng to go again but he bucks his hips up anyway, as if he’s eager for a second round.

What they just accomplished is truthfully all Xie Lian had planned for tonight, but if Hua Cheng wants more, who is he to deny his love?

He ghosts his hands up Hua Cheng’s torso, over his underarms, across the underside of his toned biceps, up those gorgeous forearms, and locks their hands together, pressing Hua Cheng firmly into the bed. His licks turn to sweet kisses and he trails them all the way up the pretty column of Hua Cheng’s throat, the sharp edge of his chin, and then he’s kissing him on the mouth, pressing his tongue that’s still hot with Hua Cheng’s sweat and come along the man’s eager lips, greedily swallowing his moans. He pulls back to let Hua Cheng catch his breath, pressing sweet kisses to his cheeks as Hua Cheng starts to calm down. Xie Lian’s cock strains pitifully against his pants, painfully hard, but he ignores it.

“Y-your Highness, please…”

“Tell me what you need, baby.”

“Please, I… I want you.”

“You have me, love. I’m right here.” And as if to prove it, Xie Lian presses Hua Cheng’s hands roughly into the pillow and feels his own cock twitch at the needy moan it draws from his lover.

“No, no—I… I want you—god, fuck—” and Xie Lian sees the way Hua Cheng fights against himself to get the words out, an embarrassed flush deepening on his already red cheeks.

“I want you to take me.”

The request just about knocks Xie Lian over.

Take him?

He thought maybe they would do what they’ve done tonight and maybe, in the future, think about switching things up in that regard but… take Hua Cheng? Tonight? 

He loosens his grip on Hua Cheng’s hands and sits back to look down at the other man as he thinks.

And it’s not like Xie Lian hasn’t thought about it. 

Of course he’s thought about it. He’s thought a lot about it, actually. What it might be like to be inside his lover the way he so loves Hua Cheng being inside of him. What it would feel like to have Hua Cheng come while buried inside of him—oh, god, he’s so achingly hard, it hurts. But he wasn’t exactly sure Hua Cheng would want that from him. Even so, he did research every aspect of this role so he would be prepared. So, in theory, he has the knowledge of what to do and Hua Cheng has taken him enough times he’s sure he could figure it—

Oh, no. 

He’s waited too long to reply and Hua Cheng is closing in on himself. He’s drawing his thighs up and pressing them together, his face contorting into a sensitive and open display of mortification and Xie Lian must fix that immediately.

“Oh, San Lang—I’m so sorry for making you worry.” 

As quickly as Xie Lian had taken his touch away, he returns it to Hua Cheng, never having meant to make his love feel rejected. He grips one hand on Hua Cheng’s hip and uses the other to caress his cheek, rubbing his thumb lovingly up over his brow bone.

“Yes, my love. Yes, I want you like that, sweet boy. I do. I want to take you. Please don’t hide from me.”

With gentle hands, Xie Lian pries Hua Cheng’s thighs back open and slots himself more readily between them, pressing their bodies flush together and peppering loving little kisses all over Hua Cheng’s face. He holds Hua Cheng by the sides of his neck as he does so, steadying him as he tries to prove he wants this too.

Hua Cheng lets his legs fall further open and nuzzles his face into Xie Lian’s kisses, sighing as the tension fades from his posture.

“I want you,” Xie Lian assures, pressing a firm and almost chaste kiss to Hua Cheng’s lips.

“Open your eye, San Lang.”

And Hua Cheng does as he’s asked, obediently meeting Xie Lian’s gaze. Xie Lian smiles down at him and presses their foreheads together.

“May I take you?”

“God, please.”

Pressing one more kiss to Hua Cheng’s lips, Xie Lian pulls away and scoots himself a little further back between Hua Cheng’s legs, reaching out for the bottle of lube.

He smiles reassuringly at Hua Cheng as he coats his fingers in the substance, feeling mainly excited and just a little nervous. He wants this to be good for Hua Cheng and he knows he’s capable of doing this for him. Hua Cheng wants this, Xie Lian reminds himself, and Xie Lian so desperately wants it too. Hua Cheng spreads his legs wider, a tender and shy look on his face as he bends his knees and brings them closer to his chest to give Xie Lian better access.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have had sex plenty of times but, admittedly, Xie Lian has never really been in a position to see this part of Hua Cheng. He stares openly, knowing it’s embarrassing Hua Cheng but also seeing that it’s turning him on, his cock already almost all the way hard again.

He looks so soft here, this sweet hole usually hidden from view, and Xie Lian surprises himself when he realizes he wants to lick it. Maybe they can do that another time.

As he stares at this unfamiliar place on Hua Cheng’s body, he sees it twitch, and it pulls a guttural moan right out of Xie Lian, pleasure and desire running their course through his veins.

Xie Lian reaches out a lubed up finger and gently rubs the tip against the puckered entrance, melting at the excited and needy sounds Hua Cheng makes as he rolls his hips downward in an attempt to get more.

Oh, Hua Cheng likes it—he likes it so much he mewls and ruts against him like he can’t wait any longer to be filled. Xie Lian is always happy to give in to his lover’s wants, so he doesn’t hesitate as he presses a single finger into his eager hole. It slips in easier than Xie Lian anticipated and Hua Cheng moans, rocking into him immediately like he’s trying to guide Xie Lian to something. 

Curious.

Xie Lian lets a second finger press along the first and it, too, slips into Hua Cheng with relative ease. He pulls his two fingers back just slightly and then presses them forward, watching as Hua Cheng rolls his hips downward to meet him, not looking even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Ah, curious indeed.

“San Lang,” Xie Lian starts slowly, pulling his fingers back before gently fucking them back into Hua Cheng’s warm hole, soon finding a steady rhythm, “Have you done this to yourself before?”

Hua Cheng immediately twists his face away from view, but he seems to remember the rule he was told to follow earlier and quickly rights himself, his face burning as he nods.

“Yes,” he croaks, and his voice is so wrecked Xie Lian wants to hug him, kiss him, and fuck him all at the same time.

Xie Lian curls his fingers then, in the way he himself enjoys when he’s on the receiving end of this, and Hua Cheng cries out, his back arching as he clamps his mouth down around a high pitched whine that molds itself into a low mewl as he lowers his back down to the bed.

"You like it this much and you've never even said a word to me about it?” 

Xie Lian is sincere in his question but he’s also teasing his lover a bit, adding a third finger with a little more resistance this time and curling them again, watching with satisfaction as Hua Cheng’s whole body trembles.

“I didn’t—oh, fuck,” Hua Cheng takes in a sharp breath, breathes it out through his bared teeth, and tries again, “I didn’t t-think you would… ah—be interested—”

“Who are you to say what I am or am not interested in?”

“I know. God, I know—I just… I shouldn’t want—” he swallows another whine and presses his hips back down to meet Xie Lian’s fingers, “F-fuck, please, please—”

“Why shouldn’t you want this, San Lang? Do you think you don’t deserve it? Do we need to go over that again?”

This time Hua Cheng squawks, an undignified little sound that Xie Lian has absolutely never heard him make before, and quickly shakes his head. Xie Lian doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. With a reaction like that, maybe he did bully Hua Cheng a bit too much earlier. Ah, but it seems he’s already been forgiven, because Hua Cheng is now riding his fingers in earnest, letting out little puffs of air and pleased hums. Xie Lian catches himself drooling at the sight and, before he can even think, he finds himself speaking.

“Do you want something more than just my fingers?”

Hua Cheng groans, his mouth falling open as he grinds his hips down on to Xie Lian’s fingers, taking them as far as they can go and nodding his head. With his free hand, Xie Lian pushes down his pants and boxers just enough to free his cock. He hisses at the sensitivity but pumps himself a few times as he continues to work his fingers into Hua Cheng.

Now, the two of them don’t have much use for condoms, what with Xie Lian’s, uh, inclinations and all, but they do have a box of them somewhere, he’ll just have to look around.

As he pulls his fingers out from Hua Cheng’s tight heat, his boyfriend whines, his brows scrunched together and his lips downturned in a pitiful pout. How adorable.

And, as if he’s read Xie Lian’s mind, he says, “No condom—please. I want—no—I need to feel you.”

It’s been established that Xie Lian more than prefers to feel his lover release inside of him, but the heady cloud of desire that overcomes him at the thought of getting to return the favor is not something he was expecting to feel. He desperately needs it. He needs it right now.

“I need you, San Lang. I need to be inside of you.”

Xie Lian quickly uncaps the bottle of lube and audibly squirts some into his palm, slicking up his already leaking cock with messy, uncoordinated strokes, and the sound of it makes Hua Cheng moan. He spreads his legs further and lifts his ass a little, breathless as he pleads, “Take me. Take me—I’m yours—”

Xie Lian can’t wait any longer.

With his hand visibly shaking, he guides his cock to Hua Cheng’s twitching entrance and pushes just the head inside.

Both men immediately moan and Xie Lian has to steady himself against Hua Cheng’s thigh, his hands still slick with lube.

The first thing that comes to Xie Lian’s mind is that it’s warm—so unbearably warm it makes Xie Lian feel dizzy. It’s nothing like being in Hua Cheng’s hand or having Hua Cheng’s mouth on him. No. It’s tight and hot and—

“Oh, fuck.”

—and it pulls him in.

He’s not sure if Hua Cheng is doing it on purpose or if he’s just turned his boyfriend on so much that he can’t help but twitch for him—all he knows is that that tight, warm heat draws him closer and he feels powerless to resist it. It’s just so good .

Slowly, he presses inside, the lube and his previous preparation making the slide easier. But, god, it’s still so tight.

Xie Lian realizes in this moment that his eyes are shut, so he forces them open and looks down, only to be greeted with the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen.

Hua Cheng is staring up at him, mouth open in pleasure, tongue almost lolling out as he pants. And his eyes. His eyes are bright with love and deep devotion and Xie Lian groans, taking hold of Hua Cheng’s hips and keeping his eye contact as he pulls Hua Cheng’s hips toward him at the same time he thrusts forward. In this singular motion he sheathes himself completely inside of Hua Cheng and the younger man cries out in pleasure, arching his neck and grinding down onto Xie Lian’s cock.

Something in Xie Lian snaps.

He pulls his hips back and thrusts forward, quickly finding a steady pace of in and out as he chases the sweet, intoxicating heat of his lover. And Hua Cheng is certainly enjoying himself; letting out little ah ah ah’s as Xie Lian takes him like he’s never been taken before. He’s not even forming any words at first, so caught up in the pleasure all he can do is breathe and moan and let his body be taken apart, but then Xie Lian moves. He pulls Hua Cheng’s hips forward and up just slightly and the new angle has Hua Cheng babbling, speaking almost in fervent prayer. 

He's louder than Xie Lian has ever heard him. 

The words spill out of him shamelessly, wanting and needy, “Oh—please please please, oh god, oh fuck, ahh yes… gege..!” 

Hua Cheng suddenly grips onto Xie Lian's shirt so hard that the older man can't help but crash forward, and then Hua Cheng's arms are looped around Xie Lian’s neck and his flushed face is pressed into his shoulder. Each moan comes out louder than the last and Hua Cheng is somehow squeezing tighter and tighter around Xie Lian. 

The insane warmth is going to push Xie Lian over the edge, so he readjusts his grip on Hua Cheng's hips, pulling the man backwards and up just slightly so he can angle deeper. The absolute obscene sound of their slick bodies coming together, harder and faster, fills the air, accompanied so sweetly by Hua Cheng's unrestrained moans. The man claws his nails into Xie Lian's back underneath his shirt, desperately trying to grab onto him, as if he might slip away if Hua Cheng isn't careful. 

“Yes, yes, oh yes thank you thank you thank you—” 

Xie Lian moans at the sound of Hua Cheng’s persistent, needy cries of gratitude. A low groan, unlike any sound he’s heard himself make before, comes from deep in his throat. He feels absolutely primal. Hua Cheng isn’t holding back anymore, because he can’t now, and he can’t because Xie Lian has given him the space to let go. 

Xie Lian pulls back a little to get a better look at his lover’s face. Oh, god. Hua Cheng’s moans and his completely debauched expression could end Xie Lian all on their own, but he has to hold out. Xie Lian is overwhelmed with so many feelings rushing through him—love and arousal and unfiltered yearning. This man is his and he will never let him forget that. 

“You’re mine, San Lang. All mine.” 

He almost can’t recognize the deep growl in his voice and he gets lost for a moment in his mind, but Hua Cheng pulls him right back out again when he sinks his teeth into Xie Lian’s shoulder to muffle a scream.

Hua Cheng throws his legs around Xie Lian’s waist, hooking his ankles together, and Xie Lian can feel that he's trembling, and then he feels the way Hua Cheng's body pulls him in, squeezing and spasming around him and oh fuck, he's not gonna last. 

He circles an arm around Hua Cheng's waist so he’s supporting his back and then he lifts him off the bed into an arch. His other hand slips between them with every intention of grabbing Hua Cheng's cock to milk him until he’s finished—but Hua Cheng is already coming, his warm release painting both their stomachs in frantic, pulsing strands. Xie Lian, with a few more rough thrusts, can’t help but follow, finishing deep inside Hua Cheng, a groan of the younger man’s name passing through his lips.

“My San Lang.” 

He grips Hua Cheng harder than he means to, relishing in the way his lover’s muscles twitch under his touch and the way his warm, sweat-slicked skin feels against his own. 

“You are so beautiful,” Xie Lian croons, breathless and heavy from the throes of pleasure.

The younger man whines, breathes hard through his nose, and then absolutely falls apart against Xie Lian, pleasured sobs stuttering through him. He presses his face even closer into the crook of Xie Lian's neck. He's desperately clinging to him, squeezing his arms and legs around Xie Lian, grabbing at the skin of his back as if they aren’t already as close as two people can be. 

They stay like that for longer than either of them expects to, but Xie Lian’s patience is unwavering, and he’s savoring every second of this rare and intimate exchange. He would give anything in the world to stay in this moment, just like this. 

Hua Cheng slowly starts to quiet down, but his breath remains quick and shaky against Xie Lian's neck. Xie Lian gets the feeling Hua Cheng is trying to rein this in as he pulls Xie Lian’s shoulders even closer still, his breath coming heavily through his gritted teeth. 

Then Xie Lian feels the distinct wet warmth of tears on his shoulder. 

He pulls Hua Cheng flush against him with both his arms wrapped around him, and soothes gentle circles into the small of his back with his palm. 

“Oh, sweet boy, are you okay?” 

Hua Cheng nods emphatically, but doesn’t speak, refusing to let go or to pull his face back. 

“You did such a good job, San Lang. I am so proud of you.”

Hua Cheng’s heart is pounding as he tries, and fails, to quiet his breathing, still clawing at Xie Lian’s back as he rides out the aftermath of his orgasm.

“It's okay,” Xie Lian reassures, his voice deep and raspy from pleasure. 

He is slouched over Hua Cheng, still fully supporting the younger man’s body as they remain connected. Hua Cheng is fully in Xie Lian’s arms, being held just slightly off the mattress. Protected is the word that comes to Xie Lian’s mind, and he smiles into their embrace.

Xie Lian is suddenly, painfully aware of how heavy his limbs have become, but he powers through, keeping Hua Cheng’s trembling body close to his own. 

“Mh, it's okay. It's alright, San Lang. I've got you. I'm right here. You are so, so good. You did such a good job.” 

He tangles his hand into Hua Cheng's messy hair and gently massages his scalp, holding him close. Hua Cheng's thighs are trembling uncontrollably and the only sound he's making is the almost frantic gasping that can only come from crying. 

“Are you ready for me to pull out, love?” 

Hua Cheng shakes his head and then adjusts so he can quickly wipe the wetness from his eye, his arms still around Xie Lian as he tries to even out his breathing.

“Okay, that’s okay. You just let me know when you’re ready— oh, honey,” Another strong tremor rips its way through Hua Cheng, leaving him gasping again. Xie Lian presses Hua Cheng to the bed with a gentle, yet firm touch, cradling him in his arms. He brings his lips close to Hua Cheng’s ear and presses a kiss beside his temple, his voice soft and full of care, “Gege’s got you.”

Hua Cheng sighs, appreciative, as Xie Lian lets the full weight of his body come down on Hua Cheng. They’ve never talked about it, but they both know Hua Cheng cherishes this deep tissue pressure. It’s grounding for both of them, but especially for Hua Cheng.

They hold each other like this, with Xie Lian still inside him, neither of them commenting on the way Hua Cheng’s mask has completely disintegrated. Still coming down from his high, Hua Cheng is hit with another strong aftershock of pleasure, making his thighs tremble and his breath come out in shuddering sighs. He almost whimpers, saying quietly against Xie Lian's skin, “I'm sorry, fuck—” he swallows, his mouth sounding dry, “I'm so sorry.”

“San Lang, it’s okay,” Xie Lian comforts, continuing his gentle stroking of Hua Cheng’s skin and hair. “You don’t have to apologize to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. I know it’s intense. Let it out, baby. You’re safe with me.”

Hua Cheng clears his throat, as if he’s preparing to protest, but no other words come out. Instead, he holds onto Xie Lian and, in turn, lets Xie Lian hold him back.

Xie Lian supports the back of Hua Cheng’s head with his hand, being careful not to tug his hair, and makes a conscious effort to model deep, slow breaths: in for four seconds, hold for two, out for six. Coaxing. He feels the swell of Hua Cheng’s chest as the man silently complies, trying his best to match Xie Lian’s pace. Soon, they’re both feeling much more calm. 

The air is thick with their warmth and their scent. It envelops them in a hazy, comforting afterglow. They both sigh, undeniably content.

Xie Lian breathes into Hua Cheng’s ear, “I love you.”

He’s met with a desperate, devoted reply, “I love you, Gege. I love you.” His voice is sincere and unashamed.

The two men are still.

They’re warm.

They’re safe.

“Ready?” Xie Lian finally asks.

“Mh.”

Both men shudder as Xie Lian slowly, torturously, pulls out.

They both sigh.

Xie Lian tucks himself back into his pants and braces himself against the bed with his left forearm, shifting his other hand to stroke the back of Hua Cheng’s neck. He pulls back enough to look at Hua Cheng’s face—his skin is absolutely flushed, his hair is a wild mess of flying strands and some pieces stick haphazardly to his forehead—he’s anything but composed and Xie Lian couldn’t be happier. Their eyes meet and the two of them are all smiles. Hua Cheng laughs, almost bashfully, and bumps their foreheads together. Their breaths mingle, warm and lazy between them.

“That was… really nice,” Hua Cheng decides, a soft hum to his voice. He looks and sounds so relaxed and sleepy and Xie Lian drinks it up. He smiles at Hua Cheng and touches their noses together.

“I really, really enjoyed that, San Lang. You were so good for me.” 

The blush that spreads on Hua Cheng’s cheeks makes Xie Lian well up with pride and he squeezes the man a little tighter, planting sweet kisses on his upturned lips.

Xie Lian lets himself fall onto his side next to Hua Cheng and he easily pulls the other close. Hua Cheng is so pliant in his current state, allowing himself to be tugged and caressed without protest. The two lie tangled in each other’s arms, Hua Cheng’s cheek resting on Xie Lian’s own as they cuddle together.

After a few comfortable, silent moments, Xie Lian whispers into Hua Cheng’s ear, “You did so well, San Lang. Thank you so much for letting me take care of you.”

The younger man’s nose gently prods into the hollow behind Xie Lian’s ear, pressing further back until he’s nuzzling Xie Lian’s hair. Xie Lian just waits, allowing the gentle touch as Hua Cheng thinks.

Hua Cheng’s deep voice finally whispers back to him, “Thank you, Gege.” and even quieter still, as if he hopes to not be heard, “I loved it.” 

Xie Lian smiles wide enough he’s sure Hua Cheng can feel it, and then he gives the man a strong squeeze and presses a kiss to the side of his neck.

“I loved it too.”