Chapter Text
Third person POV: A seemingly normal house
A seemingly normal house came into view, it looked like an idyllic, suburban house, with a beautiful red roof, a large pool in the backyard, a perfectly cut lawn, and a large greenhouse to the side, all in all, a perfect house for those who enjoy a simple day of relaxing and the honest work of a gardener.
However, as one looked closer, there was nothing normal about this house, the pool was filled with aquatic plant life, the roof was littered with pots, and the front lawn...was chaos.
A massive horde could be seen marching toward the house, growls and groans echoing all the while, with only one, proper word echoing out. "BRAINZ!"
A flurry of projectiles answered this cry, softball-sized peas knocked heads off, and giant cabbages, globs of butter, and melons rained down on the approaching horde, further reducing their numbers.
As this shambling horde trampled its way onto the lawn, great explosions erupted upon the first stragglers, utterly destroying the unlucky ones, leaving only a pile of mash-potato behind, or were sent flying into the air, members of the horde fell clutching their feet in pain as spikes pierced them, shredding their way through shoes and feet alike.
Yet despite the casualties, they continued, uncaring for their fallen.
They soon arrived at a wall, but instead of steel and stone, they were met with a large wall of nuts.
The living walls smiled as the horde attacked, but their expressions didn't falter as the horde was soon met with a new obstacle.
Massive jaws emerged from behind the nutty barricade, purple and filled to the brim with razor-sharp teeth, the horde watched in terror as their comrades were devoured whole, and the jaws sank behind the walls again to chew their unfortunate victims.
Despite their fear, the horde continued their attack on the barricade, cracks began to appear on the walls, making their grins fade, and their eyes began to twitch as their chewy center was slowly but surely exposed.
But relief soon came to the nutty barricade, as a pair of red orbs was tossed over them, the horde turned their attention to the objects, the red orbs were connected by a stem that split into two, and the red orbs' faces were positively furious, a high-pitched growl soon emerged from the two heads, and they inflated in size rapidly till... CHA-POOF!!!
A fiery explosion engulfed the area, destroying the group that was attacking the nutty barricade, the only thing that remained of the attackers, being a pile of ashes.
To an outside observer, this is simultaneously the weirdest, scariest, (and to some, the silliest) fight they've witnessed.
Yet to the homeowner and his neighbor, this was as mundane as drinking water.
For it was a never-ending battle of Plants vs Zombies.
The shambling horde of zombies groaned as they launched another wave after the last one's destruction, and once again, it repeated, albeit lacking in explosions of potatoey goodness.
Spitting out the wheat he was chewing on, the Gardner rushed back inside his house to grab one of his many plants.
He gazed across the vast array of flora who all looked up at him, eager for battle, "You five! To the lawn, pronto!" He shouted to a group of Torchwoods who only blazed their fires higher in response before hopping out the door, "Rotabagas, to the sky!" He tugged on a nearby rope, opening holes in the roof and allowing the flying vegetables to leave the house.
"You! You're with me." He said to a Coconut cannon who only grunted as he began to push the large plant out the door. The battle raged on as Peashooters fired into the horde, their peas having been turned to fireballs by the Torchwoods, roasting the zombies alive!
Above the battle, Rotobagas rained hell on the zombies, and while they weren't the most accurate shots, they made up for it in sheer volume. Some of the zombies tried to hit the flying tubers with rocks but the Rotobagas dodged the clumsy throws with ease.
The Gardener gazed at the battle, making mental notes all the while 'The Wall-nuts are taking a beating, bring aloes out, hmm, the horde is getting more intense and the Cherry-Bombs are regrowing, give plant food to one of the Melon-pults if things get worse.' He soon reached an empty spot on the lawn and planted the Coconut cannon in place.
Closing one eye and taking aim, he pointed the living cannon at the largest horde of zombies, "FIRE!" the coconut glared and soon its fuse was lit and burned rapidly.
A burning coconut was shot from its nozzle, striking the group with a resounding boom, scattering the horde, and the Gardner cheered at the sight of airborne cones and limbs.
Its shot fired, and the Coconut cannon fell asleep, with smoke coming out, he petted the coconut as it slumbered, before running back to his house.
As the battle raged and the plants pushed back the zombie horde, in the shadows of a graveyard, the leader of all zombies plotted.
POV swap: A graveyard.
The camera panned to reveal a desolate graveyard, it was devoid of all life, with no grass, no flowers, and the sole tree was a decrepit, withered thing that even a slight breeze risked tearing it from the ground.
Tombstones dotted the area, some of the writing on them was still intelligible, but things like names and dates had long faded from lack of care or maintenance, the only things in this graveyard were the dead...and the undead.
Zombies shuffled about, groaning, uttering the word brain to each other, and themselves, the singular thing they crave the most of all.
All of them uttered the word, all of them, save for one.
Deep within the graveyard, a structure most odd stood firm, in contrast to the stone crypts and tombs, it resembled a mixture of a mansion and a factory, purple in color with a metallic sheen, the unusual building emitted a constant static noise, and an ominous pink/purple glowed out, two statues stood before the front gate, holding lamps that glowed a soft yet creepy blue, heading inside, revealed a mix mash of machinery and wooden architecture.
Lining the walls were portraits of the mansion's owner, the leader of all zombies, Dr. Edgar George Zomboss.
The cruel and cunning zombie growled in frustration as he watched the screen, showing the home of his arch-enemy(ies), once again, his zombie army was stopped, crushed into the dirt, shot, reduced to ash, eaten, or in other words, composted.
Roaring, he slammed his fist onto his desk, nearby zombies flinching at their boss's anger.
"For over 15 years since our war started, we have been defeated time and again..." Zomboss uttered with a cold gaze, as he stared balefully at the pristine homestead.
He remembers the destruction of his very first zombot all those years ago, a climatic battle in the dark of night on his enemy's roof, and has since then suffered defeat, after defeat, be it in the modern age, or through time itself, he was even defeated in the future where he had won!
And now that future doesn't exist...
"I had managed to get every other stinking human and their delicious brains on this damn planet, all of them, save for that deranged fool and his stupid neighbor!" He shouted in rage.
It wasn't some grand army that managed to hold back his horde, a robotic legion, or even aliens!
No...his mighty horde, which had brought humanity to its knees, was beaten back time and again...by Plants.
This humiliation was unmatched, a horde of weeds had stopped his mighty army in its tracks and destroyed countless zombots.
And this...was the final straw.
Zomboss began to cackle, slowly growing louder and madder as he laughed, his head rising towards the ceiling as he laughed, he briefly paused and glared at his minions, who then began to hold signs with "haha" written on them, satisfied, the brainiac began to laugh again with an even greater ferocity.
He had a Zombot to build, and it was the one to outdo all of them.
POV Swap: The house.
The Gardener huffed in satisfaction as the last zombie fell, its body stumbling around before finally collapsing, which prompted the plants to cheer in jubilation, Wall-nuts hopped in place, and Sunflowers laughed merrily as Peashooters hooted to the sky.
He let a small smile emerge, he was used to beating back the zombies, but it always felt good to see all his plants so happy.
And he felt the joyous mood increase when he saw his neighbors/roommate return.
"A good fight eh neighbor?" His crazy friend said, grinning as his beard was dotted with pieces of taco, "Heh, nothing too unusual about the brawl, just your average horde for the most part, though there were more gargantuars than normal."
The man he was speaking to was known as Crazy Dave, but you can call him Crazy Dave!
With a pot of his head and madness that concealed a surprising intellect, the man, while crazy, was undeniably a Genius (though Zomboss would refute this), he had created every plant in their arsenal, from the humble peashooter to the mighty cob cannon, he was part of the reason the Gardner had survived for so long.
Welcoming his long-time friend inside, he stayed at the door as Dave prepared the table, gazing at the insides of his house.
The inside was decorated with all manner of souvenirs from their past adventures.
He smiles fondly at one of the photos, it was a picture of a Sunflower on stage, singing with the largest smile he's ever seen on a Sunflower, the concert they held after destroying Zomboss's first zombot all those years ago.
"You comin' neighbor?" He heard Dave shout, shaking his head, he walked to his dining room, he smiled at all the plants as they scampered about, Chompers chasing each other like leafy dogs, he watched a Toadstool slumber its day away as a group of Puff-shrooms sat on its head.
He eventually came to his dining room, and the table was lined with freshly cooked tacos, or at least, what was left of them, most of them were eaten by Dave, the rest by the various plants scattered around the table.
Spotting a singular taco still standing amidst the massacred remains of Mexican cuisine.
He picked up the food item and inspected it, before nodding approvingly, he prepared to eat it when an alarm blared through the house.
Eyes twitching, he took a deep breath before setting the taco down, he knows damn well it won't be there when he gets back, whelp, the Doom-shrooms have been getting restless and he was denied his lunch.
A good enough excuse to decorate his lawn with some new craters.
Marching towards his door, he slammed it open in time to see a zombie dropping a letter and running as fast as its legs would allow.
"What's the Zombie's threat this time..." He muttered angrily as he picked the note off from the ground, and his eyebrows raised at the letter's content.
"Homeowner, time and again you have failed to submit to our rightful claim, and I have been forced to take extreme action , surrender your brains forthwith and your w̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ plants will not suffer , you have been warned." -Sincerely, Dr. Edgar Zomboss.
It was certainly more threatening than usual, and from Zomboss himself no less, "What are you up to..." He muttered as he held his chin, gazing into the graveyard across the street.
"What's the letter say this time neighbor ?" He heard Crazy Dave question as the beard loon stood in the doorway, "A letter from Zomboss himself , I won't lie, the letter sounded personal." Giving the letter to his friend, Dave's eyes widened as he read it, and much like he did, questioned what Zomboss meant.
In the distant past, Crazy Dave and Zomboss used to be good friends, until Zomboss's jealousy and lust for power consumed him, starting a zombie apocalypse that had managed to bring every nation to its knees and lay claim to damn near everyone's brains.
Everyone, except himself and Dave, and for 15 years, they defied Zomboss, thwarting his plans to create a zombie-ruled future.
He still remembers his time in the far future and is glad that dark future will no longer come to be.
And now it seems Zomboss is fed up with their defiance as if to confirm this, the two humans felt the ground shake, each thud louder and mightier than the last.
Turning their attention to the graveyard, and as the sun set, in the afternoon glow, they saw it.
A new zombot, one built almost exactly like the original all those years ago, but much, MUCH, bigger.
The two could only stare in shock, but the shock quickly wore off, "Dave! Prep the seed delivery system!" Crazy Dave only nodded before he ran back to the house, blowing a sharp whistle, and rallying nearby plants to the lawn, the plants could only stare in shock at the titanic Zombot but they quickly snapped out of it, they had a home to defend!
As he rallied his plants and Dave prepped the seed delivery system, a shrieking static echoed throughout the town, making everything with functioning ears wince in pain, and soon Zomboss's voice echoed through the air.
"Attention arch-enemies and your filthy weeds! I take it you have gotten my letter, and have prepared to surrender your brains!" Glaring at the oversized robot, he promptly shouted "When pigs fly! You rotten windbag!" before spitting on the ground.
A dark chuckle was his only answer before Zomboss spoke again "I won't lie, I was so hoping you would say that." A sharp hiss echoed through the air, and he watched as steam emerged from the zombots chest area, and soon, the biggest damn cannon he's ever seen emerged from its chest! The cannon began glowing a baleful purple, it didn't take a genius to realize what was about to happen.
"Everyone! Inside! NOW!" Grabbing a nearby Wall-nut, he pushed the nut inside as the rest of his plants soon vanished inside the house.
"What's going on neighbor ?!" He heard Dave question "Look outside ya nut! That brainiac is going to blow the house a new one!" Before Dave could respond, Zomboss's voice echoed again, "MWAHAHAHA! For 15 years I've suffered defeat after defeat to your wretched weeds! LET'S SEE HOW YOU'LL PROTECT YOUR BRAINS WITHOUT THEM!" And the cannon fired.
A horrific purple light blasted through the window, making everyone look away to avoid being blinded.
Contrary to what Zomboss said, none of the plants seemed to be suffering, in fact, as he dared to look toward his window, he saw what can summarized as a purple portal, "What the squirbos?! Where is Zomboss sending us?!" He heard his neighbor shout, but before anything else could be said, the portal turned into a blinding light, but it soon faded.
Looking again, he gasped at the sight of a beautiful night sky, yet its most striking feature wasn't its stairs, but that of a shattered moon.
Before he could begin to question the sight, everything that wasn't strapped or rooted down suddenly flew up to the ceiling, he and Dave screamed in terror while the plants cheered excitedly at the sudden change of pace.
He felt his home plummet down and watched the window as he witnessed a glowing tower in the distance before it disappeared behind the mountains.
And soon he saw nothing, as darkness consumed his vision.
A Peashooter trumpets heroically as it and its cousins lose a salvo of peas into a snarling horde.
Sunflowerofwar presents...
"HI-YAH!" A girl carrying a scythe shouts as she beheads a charging wolf-like monsters
PLANTS VS GRIMM: REGROWN.
The girl and a group of peashooters stand defiantly at the snarling horde, 3 more girls join around the scythe wielder, each brandishing their own weapon of choice as they prepare for battle.
Plants popped out of the ground, joining their Peashooter brethren, each of them glaring daggers at the horde.
The horde roared only once, before charging at the group, darkness consuming the screen.